Serious bullying of dd - on FB and at school, what should I do?

[fimac1]

Help

Dd who is outgoing and confident is being bullied by the scariest girl in her year who has taken things to a new level after this weekend. Dd was talking to a boy who this girl decided my dd was not allowed to talk to - dd received fb email telling her in uncertain terms she should not be talking to this lad, how she could never be accepted into 'group' if she acted like this (another friend of bully likes him apparently) dd went back and told her in uncertain terms that she could talk to who she liked.

Things are now much worse at school between the two of them and the bully is talking to everyone about it all the time trying to get them on her side as it were, many of whom are as she is just so scary! She has a horrible FB profile msg relating to dd too, dd said she will print of fb msg and take into school if things dont improve today, but I feel we should get involved - don't know the parents of this bully but do know the parents of the girl who likes this lad - (my dd likes him but only as a friend) they are Year 11's. It doesnt sound so bad reading back at this but the bully has made my dd life unpleasant since start of year 7 and she is getting worse, help

[Sakura]

God, sounds awful. I've got no experience with my children being so young, but I was bullied at school once, and I can't imagine how it must be for it to follow you around at home.
SOmeone will be along soon

[Sakura]

" you've got nothing to complain about, women live longer "

Well, we do if we're not murdered by our spouse first; or not dead from anorexia or from complications under the cosmetic surgeon's knife (in places like the U.S, where they're not bothering to record the death toll, coz it ain't that important) , or childbirth; or not aborted because we're female...etc etc

[Sakura]

"men don't get to choose ; we just have to work"

feminism is not about choice, as in women have the choice whether or not to become members of a subordinate class; they don't and feminism is about liberation

[bigchris]

Sakura, what?!?

Is year 11 age 16? I think your dd has the right approach printing off the message and telling her tutor group teacher maybe?

[Sakura]

OMG, totally wrong thread, the last two posts. Please ignore

[bigchris]

Lol

[LoveBeingADaddysGirl]

It depends how the two of you want to handle I guess, has itbeen reported to the school? She can report the Fb stuff to the police or just to Fb.

[mousesma]

It does sound horrible for your DD and it must be awful for you to see her going through this.

However at this stage I think she is handing it really well and you may do more harm than good getting involved. It is great that she can talk to you about her problems and she has you there to support her but I think it would be better for her to take the initiative to solve the problem by herself (which she seems keen to do).

Taking the fb message to the tutor group teacher is a good start but she should also block the person who sent the message as a clear signal that she doesn't want to engage in this argument.

I hope this is resolved soon but maybe this 'group' is not worth being accepted into anyway.

[fimac1]

Yes she went back in the original reply on Saturday (very eliquently!) and said exactly that about not wanting to be in such a group if that is how they treat their 'members' will stay out of it for now but really want to give this girl a piece of our minds They are in the last year of seniors so are all 15/16 years old

[mousesma]

It must be very frustrating to have to bite your tongue but doing anything else will undermine the great job DD is doing.

Don't forget theres only another 6 months of school left and then she won't have to deal with this person again.

[fimac1]

Thanks to all for msgs and yes, Mousema we have said hopefully they will be at different 6th forms, fingers crossed!

[whenigrowup]

Just to say that the bullying sounds awful but I am extremely impressed by how your daughter seems to be handling it! I think many of us worry that our children will suffer in silence and not feel able to respond in an assertive way. It must have been tough for her to put up with this kind of behaviour since year 7 and a frustrating worry for you. Ditto Mousesma's comments and keep strong!