Friendships

[Whocantakeasunrise]

My dd is 14.

From Reception to Y6, she went to 3 schools, and at each of these schools made friends really easily, and was always in a crowd of about 6, and had no problems.

Since Y7 (Secondary school), she's not found a group of friends, and as the years have passed, it seems to be getting worse, to the extent that not only does she not really have group of friends, the other children are being very bitchy towards her.

Recently I've noticed that it's getting more and more on FB. The problem is it's not just one or two people, it really does seem to be a wide issue. When I ask her about it she sometimes is upset, other times she's very matter of fact and will say something like 'oh ignore it they are being pathetic'.

Has anyone else experienced it, can you offer me any advice that I could offer her to help?

[Talker2010]

Why does she have bitchy people on FB?

[Whocantakeasunrise]

I asked this, one answer was if I didn't have people who occassionally bitch to me I'd have no friends on FB.

Also it seems that people who are nice one week, are bitchy the following.

[tinkgirl]

try getting her involved with people outside of school - it will help her to build up her confidence and gain a completely different group of friends, one which she can go out with instead. i know it will still be hard at school but at least she will have something to look forward to.

[Miley10]

My dd is 14. She is quiet but loves talking to people but at school shes been labelled the "shy girl". Shes been friends with 3 other girls since Yr 7, one of them has always said sly bitchy comments to her but she normally ignores her, at the beginning of Yr 10 she became closer friends with another girl and introduced her to the group but now my dd is being ignored at times and sometimes when she goes to talk to someone else she knows because her friends are ignoring her, when she turns back to them they are either giving her dirty looks or they disappear. This has really upset my dd and a couple of times this week she has refused to go to school.
Tinkgirl, I told my dd to find things out of school to do to help her confidence but she refuses to go anywhere new because she thinks everyone there will already have friends and she'll be on her own. I dont know what else to do to help her.

[Stricnine]

I think this is terribly common at this age... the only way is to support her with finding more like-minded friends outside of school... and hopefully that will help her get through the school days.

It will eventually work out but it's hard at the age, girls can be so bitchy and two faced often as well...