Freindships. Help.

[valleyqueen]

My dd has just gone into year 7 she only moved up with one girl from her primary school who she was fairly good friends with, they have been meeting up at breaktimes and lunch and been getting the bus together.

As they are in different classes my dd has started making friends with other girls and they have also started hanging around with them. Problem is her friend doesn't want my dd hanging around with anyone else and keeps getting upset. My dd has been saving her a seat at lunch and includes her in the conversation but she won't have it. I just know this girls mother is going to call me tonight to talk about it.

What do I say, obviously my dd is free to be friends with who she likes and is trying so hard to include her but feels she can't do anymore. I don't want to sound callous when I talk to her.

[stleger]

Is there a pastoral care/guidance teacher who can be involved? My dd1 had a similar friendship issue, and a friend's mother who wanted to discuss things. Dd1 decided to send the friend an anonymous letter - which she handed to her destroying the anonymity a bit - asking her to permit dd1 to have other friends. So, my experience would be to ask for a bit of guidance from the school rather than become involved with other parents, who are obviously concerned for their own child's happiness. but preteens aren't brilliant at dealing with issues sensitively at times. In the end the other girl made a new group of friends, and dd1 was very haughty for 3 years in her presence - my dd1 is a tough cookie, yours might be more accommodating

[Wottknott]

I would say "give them more time, things will settle after a few more weeks". Tell the other mum that's its best if you two don't get too involved, you'll end up falling out and then the girls will be fine and that will be awkward for everyone. Ask her if her dd has any interest in any of the school clubs, she could meet more new friends that way.

[valleyqueen]

I am quite happy not to get involved as I expected new friendships to form, my dd is quite open and straight forward with people she asked her a couple of times what was wrong and she just sat there sulking she asked third time and basically shrugged he shoulders and walked off. My dd makes friends very easily and this girl doesn't I think I will just wait for the phone call and explain dds side of things but say I don't really want to step in at this stage.

My dd is just upset that she has done everything to include her in the group but is still getting the silent treatment.