Help - teen ds and "legal highs"

[Duritzfan]

Hi

my ds is almost 15 .. he got in with a rough crowd and we moved areas this summer to get him away from them and give him a new start
he has broken away from all the "old group" and has made some new good friends here..we thought things were going well. Today I met my friend for lunch and she told me that my ds has bought a package of legal highs and got them delivered to her house ( her son and my son are friends)
She brought me the package and she then sat with me while I wobbled about my parenting skills and tried to work out what to do.

I am just so lost with my ds.. I dont know how to handle this or him .. He can get aggressive - but his behaviour overall has been really improved lately ..He s been a lot easier to live with ..I really thought we had turned a corner..Now I feel like I never will ...

anyone got any advice /
I am going to play dumb tonight ( dh is home tomorrow) and keep a close eye on him .. I have snooped on his computer - nothing worrying there..
I intend to take away his phone, ground him and remove his computer tomorrow when dh is here

has anyone been through similar and what did yu do ? I feel totally unequipped for dealing with this and I am so scared he is heading down a very bad path .... ...

[lal123]

What are the "legal highs" he has bought? On a positive note - at least they are legal! Sorry for lack of sensible advice - I'd be lost too

[Duritzfan]

hi ..something called snow blow and a cannabis substitute...

I know they are legal ..and IKWYM .. But to me its the start of a slippery slope ..

My friend said that actually.. that at least this meant that was ALL he was into .... Am trying to stay positive ..
He has a direct debit card - attached to a kids account - seems he went online with is and has managed to buy this stuff online ...despite the site being 18 plus.. Also managed to get them delivered to another adress, not linked to his card .. am so furious with the company too...they obviously have a lack of security on the site...

[scurryfunge]

They'll be legal highs for the moment but still an incredible health risk. You are right to be worried.

Talk to him calmly about what he is getting from it? Get him to weigh up the pros and cons.....do some research on the net.

[Duritzfan]

thank you scurryfunge...

have spoken to the police just now and they have confirmed that tho they are legal he wouldnt want his kids taking it either..

They could be cut with anything couldn't they ? and even if they are pure then there are risks associated ..

Nervous about approaching him ...want to keep him on side so he stays talking to me, but feel I need to be strong on this one..

God - teenagers are soooooo hard ..

[lazymumofteenagesons]

Do not be relaxed because they are legal. We have had terrible trouble with this. Even if not physically addictive some of them are incredibly psychologically addictive.

I won't go into detail but we had to resort to cutting his money altogether. Also you have no idea whats in them and our son has had very bad health problems recently and the doctors cannot say whether this caused them because basically they don't know what could be in this stuff - pesticides etc.

I cannot tell you any way to stop it magically but making sure he has not got money in an account to pay is one way because they mostly buy over the internet.

Sorry I could not be more helpful

[oldenoughtowearpurple]

Obviously it's not good, but to be honest ganging together with a mate to buy legal highs over the internet with his own debit card is the innocent end of the drug world - at his age plenty are buying illegal drugs with cash they have nicked from your purse from some bloke who hangs round the school gates. And the fact his mate's mum found it immediately also indicates a reassuring degree of naivety.

Obviously you need to jump on it straight away, but imho it is in the territory of expected experimentation (like porn under the bed or nicking and drinking a mate's dad's bottle of scotch). Be grateful for small mercies.

[lazymumofteenagesons]

'Expected experimentation' in our house turned into a real problem. There were underlying issues which were not helping, but it is stillan ongoing problem. They can be very addictive. Just make sure it is not continued.

[Duritzfan]

Ok, am going to tackle him tonight ... having just found a home made bong in his wardrobe with something in it ...not sure what it is ...am so mad with him...
It doesn't smell like cannabis ...it looks like a cadburys flake if that means anything to anyone ?

[noteventhebestdrummer]

We waited too long to act strongly when we were in this situation.

I wish I had been tougher sooner, completely stopped the new best friends coming round and telling DS he could only live with us if he had monthly negative drug tests.

Legal highs are disgusting and dangerous drugs.

[Ouma]

My son has been pestering me for a debit card recently but cannot really come up with a convincing reason for sudden interest - I now smell a large rodent. Thanks for warning.