I would be grateful if anyone can give me some advise for dealing with my stepson (he lives with us). Both my DH and I are at a loss what to do with him and some experience from people on here would be great.
SS is 19, left school at 16, did a 2 year college course but felt he had done wrong course (translate that to didn't bother to put enough effort in to do course properly!!) and so is now half way through a parallel course - Diploma. He turns 20 in December and for the last four years since he left school we have been saying to him he needs a part time job. He has had EMA for 3 years but that has stopped now and from September he has no income at all. He just does not seem to care, he has his food and a roof over his head, an internet connection and a room full of electrical devices and doesn't seem to have any incentive at all to venture out from his room!!!! We have told him come September he won't even have a single penny but he just seems to think that is way off in the future and couldn't care less. Everybody in the family has seen adverts for jobs, told him about jobs and he politely shows an interest but does no more than that. My DH is at a loss what he can do, especially as SS is 19 so an adult and TBH I am starting to question my place withnn the family as I am very unhappy. I am like the servant who provides, shops,cooks,cleans etc and he does nothing. There are days I wish I hadn't got involved in this family, I love my DH alot but his children are really getting me down at the moment. My own children are full of life and grasping at every opportunity where as SS (and SD who is 11 and also lives with us) are just so lazy and want nothing more from life than a games console and an internet connection!!!! I am alot stronger with SD though as have been in her life since she was 5 and so am to all intents and purposes her mum, where as I have never been confident in tackling SS.
I am also very worried how we will be able to financially support SS come December when he turns 20 as tax credits/child benefit will stop and there will be no income other than wages my DH earns to support him. ( I have thought about getting a part time job myself for extra income but I know that would make my disabilities worse and part of me says it should be the 19 year old healthy one who looks for work not the 41 year old stepmother with disabilities!! or should it be me?? I don't claim any benefits for my disability so technically could get a job but I know it would increase my pain even more and financially we can manage currently)
I know alot of parents financially support their children through college, uni etc but we do struggle financially and we don't have the spare money to support him. It wouldn't seem as bad if I was trying to stretch our budget to support him if he was making any effort at all to gain some part time employment so he could support himself come September and contribute to the family budget come December but he isn't.
Can anyone give me some tips in what to do with him? and does anyone know if there is a financial support of some form for Students at 20 years old. I have asked him to find this out at college but needless to say get a sweet smile and ok at the time but nothing else back!! Thank you.
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Teenagers
Help!! 19 year old lazy stepson - Advise please.
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buttons99 · 12/07/2010 09:21
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