On hunger strike .. protesting

(54 Posts)
EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 09:00:08

We the EastMids GP are on hunger strike. We have been for 3 days now. Well not really on hunger strike obs .. we ARE guinea pigs after alll!
No, we are trying to make The Human think we are about to waste away and IT IS ALL HER FAULT.
She's only gone and bought us <shudder> value carrots from the local supermarket ... we mean .. what is she thinking. Apparently she's not managed to get our usual carrots from the farm shop because she claims she has been ill .. yeah right .. seems like neglegence to us. And we think SS should be involved.

This isn't the first time her standards have slipped ... she's tried to pass off own brand GP nuggets in the past .. a poor substitute for the ones with the mint to aid our digestion ... and don't get us started on the ones with blackcurrent, we sniffed for days at them until she saw sense.
So although we've had little nibbles at the carrots where we think she cannot see .. we are offically on hunger strike and would ask the GPs and rabbits here to support us.grin

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 09:03:24

PS we're 2 lady GPs. Mollie elderly and grumpy. Sadie young, boisterous and very squeeky.
Our Human has been lurking a while. Feels great empathy with the other humans here and finally in exasperation at the ignored carrots finally felt the need to spill the beans about us. She is such a drama queen.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 24-Jan-16 09:28:28

<<The Collective Might of the 70 hogs here>>

That is bloody appaulling , you should LTB (after breakfast obvs)

It really is a shoddy excuse being "ill". Food Slave Senior here had a gallbladder removed last year - an entire ORGAN shock - but still remembered to get the supplies in before she went under the knife.

Value carrots don't have the leafy bits and don't get us started on peelings.
Carrot peelings , parsnip peelings, turnip peel, and worst of all, a giant clod of white cabbage (relic of coleslaw manufacture) all left with disdain (and peed on)

Last night about 10pm, GP4 (the Himmy) demanded that Food Slave Junior (the DD) went in search of further rations.

The Old Bat was out in the garden with scissors cutting fresh grass in the rain.
Heh Heh
Victory is sweet (and delicious) wink

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 24-Jan-16 09:32:17

She tried the blackcurrant Excel Cubes with our ancestors (GP1 and GP2 wayyy back)

They kicked them into touch and we've never had to suffer those infernal things being foisted onto us.

They smelled like cats' pee apparantly confused

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 09:47:36

☺She's never thought of giving us peelings ..
She did buy us a heat pad and extra cover after reading about them here and then worrying greatly. We don't like it .. we walk around it ... and we avoid sitting/sleeping/peeing on it. Which is a shame really as the blue cover with clouds is really pretty 😊
We guilt trip the Human into cutting us fresh grass daily on days we cannot play out.. she manages mostly but her excuse one day last week was there was snow on the ground. Poor excuse once again. Although we did get extra parsley and water melon as a substitute.
We're considering writing a book .... 50 ways to guilt trip your human 🐹

Pipistrella Sun 24-Jan-16 10:21:08

I will join you as a militant chicken from the South of England.

Earlier this month I hung myself upside down with my claws from the fence, in a shocking Hannibal Lecter inspired pose, purely to make a point about the revolting layers pellets I was being given.

It eventually dawned on her that I will only eat organic bantam mini crumbs, which are a fiver for a tiny bag, and then when I do, I will eat thousands of them every day so she has to buy a bag a week.

This is working well at present. I'm not sure how long it will last though.

She is also slacking on the bananas. I need to convince the toddler to unpeel a few more and leave them on the sofa so they make their way to me.

small pets of the UK, unite brew

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 24-Jan-16 14:55:34

Hanging upside down a la Hannibal Lecter.....worth a try wink

We were promised Cavelo Nero (dark cabbage leaves) yesterday.
They (the Food Providers) were in a large luxe shopping centre with a Waitrose and an M&S, both purveyors of the aforementioned dark vegetable.

Did they get some- No.
Did they enough blardy look- No

They got her phone fixed hmm

Yes I know it's an APPLE store but it doesn't flipping sell fruit'n' veg .

<<pah>>

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 16:40:03

We heard the dreaded word bath today 😬
M did her best snuffly 'I am elderly and i could croak with the shock' routine .. Human was all of a worry and panicked as we knew she would😉 .. and so we escaped the bath. Bit concerned that 'Dr Chris the vet' was later mentioned but think we got away with it.
Human guilt tripped into letting us watch the cricket ☺

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 16:44:49

And just read on BBC site that bananas could become extinct ... and soon. Militant Chicken you must start eating your weight in them daily .. just in case.
There is a wonderful you tube clip of a GP called Bert eating a banana .. if we were techy minded we'd post the link for you.

Penguin2016 Sun 24-Jan-16 16:55:24

Greetings fellow hunger strikers. I am a beautiful rabbit, with a delightfully glossy coat, a delicately twitchy nose and gorgeous brown eyes. My human has clearly lost the plot. I was offered... Wait for it... Waitrose essential rabbit food... Only yesterday! What is the world coming to??? Human tried to disguise it by adding novelty carrot shaped treats. I was not fooled. I am currently embarking on a dirty protest. I have successfully pushed lots of hay (with some additional 'presents' of my very own) through the bars of my prison hutch on to her clean laundry... Ha! I was only allowed outside for a couple of hours and then I was unceremoniously bundled back into my prison hutch. Apparently the human thinks foxes will get me... I may be cute but I have a vicious streak. Human has plenty of battle scars from the days when I have been unsatisfied with her treatment of me. GPs, you have my full support. Let the revolution begin.

Penguin2016 Sun 24-Jan-16 17:41:17

Oh dear. My paws have killed the thread. Just as I was looking for inspiration about other small furry protests...

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 17:44:37

😀😀 thread not killed ... we are just awaiting tea to see what Human comes up with ... and for us to whinge about 🐹🐹

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 24-Jan-16 17:48:25

Can't be tooo militant though, us 70 hogs (Gp1-Gp6) are all rescues (now have GP4/GP5/GP6)

There aren't many people in the world as stupid and biddable caring and moral as The Food Slaves , to take on some lardy spoiled guineas poor abandoned little rodents <<poor guineas>> awwww.

They need to be kept in their places these humans , but ya need to tread the fine line between crackking the whip and cutting off your nose to spite your face. And Heaven forbid that you should actually waste away grin shock.....

They have the treat of Cleaning the Pighouse now, need to make it worth their while.

Pipistrella Sun 24-Jan-16 18:05:59

LOL at this

sorry I can't keep it up, but you guys are making me laugh out loud grin

Penguin2016 Sun 24-Jan-16 18:10:02

Excellent. Glad my paws didn't kill it. I too am awaiting tea. I am expecting a lavish feast of broccoli ends, carrot shaped novelty treats (I secretly love them), some filtered 'through the Virgin springs of some obscure mountain' water, and obviously not waitrose own rabbit food. I have espied my human decanting 'rabbit muesli' into my food bin... I shall let you know the outcome. I think it actually had luxury written on it... Pah. I am still, by the way, shoving my hay out onto her washing. You would think she might have moved it by now, but no. Humans are daft. Anyway, I am just jealous because she spends all her money on the giant animal the horse quelle horreur.

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 18:10:27

EastMids pigs are usually rescue pigs. Sadie isn't as our humans had taken us on our holibobs as normal and old Sophie died in her sleep whilst there. She'd had a lovely long life and died after an afternoon playing out in the sunshine.
Anyway I (Mollie) began to pine - strange place, noise and smells so Humans took a chance found a P@H and chose S. They doused us both in lavender oil and we bonded. Although i had hoped she wouldn't be staying☺ but stay she has and she'll do even if i find her hard work at times ☺
Do you know .. our Humans kept Sophie in a cool bag all week and kept refreshing the ice blocks because she human couldn't bear the thought of her being buried away from home 😨
She's buried with the others in the garden.

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 18:14:52

Cabbage !!! More bl**dy cabbage .. not a grape in sight in tonight's food bowl.
So disgusted we've peed on both the hay cookies and camomile hay ..

Penguin2016 Sun 24-Jan-16 18:22:28

If it is any consolation, I - Bella the bunny, am a replacement for a house bunny my humans had, he lived for 15 years! I am now 8 and I feel elderly. The human lets me run on the sofa when I am not outside as a drunk fox kfc drive through. As predicted, I got some rabbit muesli, some broccoli. No treats. Harrumph. And I could tell that my water was fresh from the tap aka not filtered, so I am refusing to drink it. Ps I was also a rescue bunny, I had had three litters at the age of two... Just as well the human rescued me.

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 19:45:54

Every time a new piggie comes to stay she human thinks about the name Bella and then decides its not quite right 'for this piggie'
We've just been mumbling between ourselves as to how we can get supplied with spring water instead of the local tap stuff.
Afterall there are sooooo many varieties for us to scorn and reject .... who knows with sufficient sulking we could guilt the human into travelling off into the High Peak and getting our water from the spring in Buxton :-)
It is no more than we deserve!
We are allowed on the sofa .. S loves to watch sport - mainly cricket, James Martin and Escape to the country. Me - M i occasionally acknowledge Nigel Slater but generally prefer the radio

Penguin2016 Sun 24-Jan-16 19:53:06

Speaking as a Bella... I am allowed on the sofa, but newspapers must be put down. I mean honestly?! I am v clean, and I only poo in my prison hutch. Are GP's easier to look after? My human has a horse, and I feel I am getting neglected! Just because I am not big enough... Totally got horse jealousy... Paw: bella.

Penguin2016 Sun 24-Jan-16 19:53:54

Ps I was nearly named hermione. Can you imagine the humiliation?! Thankfully the humans saw sense....

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 24-Jan-16 20:04:06

Are guinea-pigs easier to look after? Hell yes, angels grin

If you can gloss over the fact they are messy, they do pooh nests if it suits them (ie if they are larding about in a warm haynest and just lift their rumps, but won't go a specific place to pooh. Or pee) Unlike rabbits who can be litter trained.

Not as independant as rabbits.
Need protecting from damp,draughts,hot,cold.
Bedding changed daily, I think the humans can go months a week or two.

Very vunerable rodents, can't fight offenders off (though GP4 is a biter)

The Primary Carer ( the boars used to call 'She Devil' ) actually fusses over her rodent babies more than her biped ones - which is expected !

There have been Emergency Trips to Tesco at 1am to buy veg.
Emergency glamping sites set up in the garage in the pouring rain, when the Pighouse roof leaked (until the DH fixed it).

A drive of an hour (each way) to the Special Pig Vet.

No trouble at all grin grin grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 24-Jan-16 20:11:24

They keep going into Pet Shop to croon broodily, luckily they both have photos of their Pig Babies on the phone to remind them of the carnage that would ensue if they left with a cardboard box.

Cardboard box of Piggie Treats is ok though smile

CraftyMissus Sun 24-Jan-16 20:27:11

Small pets unite!

I'm a middle aged cockatiel and I keep trying to share my treats with my humans once they're half digested. Are they thankful? Not one jot!

I have been reduced to minimum seed rations. They have removed my banana chip and my peanut just because I tried to make the seed easier for them to eat. Don't they understand sharing is caring?

After my very expensive Dr diagnosed me with anti social behavioural tendencies and a sexual attraction for the male humans socks they're lucky I make the effort!

Viva la revolution! May it bring socks... In pairs!

EastMidsGPs Sun 24-Jan-16 20:34:20

Agree with all 70 says !
And once they decide they are going to die no amount of vetting or money can stop them.
M & S do generally warn if they intend to pee when they are with us but don't warn with the poo <grr>
Bella is a beautiful name. One of ours came with the name Princess Caramel Barbie but we soon changed this to Tig!!
Sorry to hear about the horse ... you'll be ok until it is allowed in the house .....

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