Husbands a gambler

(3 Posts)
Mrsbloggs Wed 29-Jun-16 09:51:18

Hi there
I really need some help and advice. I'm at a bit of a loss to be honest with you. I married my man 3 years ago. I took on his four children, although they are teenagers and older, we've had them living with us off and on over the last two years. We have one teenage daughter living with us now and we have two children together (5 months and 2 years.) I have known for a little while that my husband likes to dabble on the gambling. Over the last few years he's wasted a few thousand on it. More recently the amounts have been increasing, so I put my foot down and asked him to have a limit each month. This caused him then to set up a PayPal account with the online betting company and use PayPal for it, so I couldn't see the transactions clearly in the bank. I caught him out and confronted him. He lied to me for days about him spending any more money, but I knew he was lying and I asked him to show me the proof by logging into his PayPal account. Of course there were all the transactions. After it all blew up he promised me he'd never gamble again, but a week later he got paid some money he was owed and then lied to me about what money he was given, so he could have some money for the gambling. He then added money from our joint bank account to his PayPal account and denied doing it. He then asked me if he could spend £5 on gambling at the weekend and I agreed, because I don't know what direction to go in. I thought if I agreed to a small amount weekly it might fulfil his desire and stop him sneaking the money, but I feel that now I've made it worse. He doesn't know I know he's been lying to me. I only know because I check his PayPal account. I feel awful for doing it. There's no trust in our relationship. I can't trust him with money and this worries me. We are meant to have a life together, but I feel our relationship isn't honest at the moment. He knows how much I hate the gambling yet still he does it and disrespects me. Furthermore, his daughter is a compulsive liar and I'm sick of all the lies in our household. It doesn't bode well for our small children. I don't want them being brought up to think it's okay to lie. Any advice about how to handle a gambler would be great. He doesn't blow thousands in a day or anything, but the lies and the consistency of it is enough for me to be concerned about what he could do.
Thanks for your help

RockNRollNerd Fri 01-Jul-16 18:38:50

Contact Gamcare they will be able to advise and support you.

RockNRollNerd Fri 01-Jul-16 18:41:15

Also if he's serious about stopping he can self-exclude from all the online gambling sites he's registered with. This may help but fundamentally like all addictions he has to want to stop. Gamcare can talk to you more about your options and choices.
For your own protection you may want to restrict the money you have in the joint account and have your salary etc paid into your own account.

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