I'm allowed one S&B thread per year and this is it...

(126 Posts)
ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:25:45

With the advent of the picture option on S&B, I thought it was probably about time I started my annual thread begging for help.

You'll all be horrified to know that I've already purchased a dress. I had a baby 11 months ago and have lost a lot of weight due to lugging him around. I'm also an entirely different shape and very little fits. It was necessary that I shop for the first time in two years. The dress is a done deal. I like it.

We have not one, but two weddings to go to. One of them is in the dead of winter, the other at the height of summer (so it'll be the same temperature at both of them and will no doubt rain). Winter wedding is in a medieval castle. I was thrilled when I heard. DH noticed and informed me that "if you wear that godawful velvet cloak, I will divorce you. You are not auditioning for a part in Merlin". Bastard. Anyway...

The summer one's in a church in Ireland, v Catholic, v posh. No doubt I'm not allowed to wear my cloak to that either.

The only shoes I own are Dr Marten's and the clumpier the better really. I don't wear heels. Is there something I can buy that is flat but will go with that dress and I can wear in winter and summer? Can I just wear tights in winter? I quite fancy some tan leather boat shoes. They're not really wedding wear are they? What do you wear at weddings? Do I have to wear a hat to the church (I have hundreds of hats, all ridiculous, one says 'ban the bomb' on it in tie dye, oh yes).

And what do I wear over it? Cardigan? Jacket? Er, my cloak? Money is very tight. I could KNIT something? That's probably a resounding no too, right?

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:43:19

Look pretty? <snort> There's about as much chance of that as me winning an Olympic gold. The goal is currently set as looking ordinary. I may consider make up for the first time ever once I've attained that.

The maxi dress was 2 years ago. I still wear it. It's a black, jersey, racer back, puddle dress. See these terms I'm familar with? It's not wedding material.

Trills Wed 08-Aug-12 16:45:18

I agree Tee - the dress background appears to be navy.

I think the flower thingy is quite Showy-esque. If she's not allowed a cape she can at least have a flower on her shoe!

Trills Wed 08-Aug-12 16:46:21

What was last year's S&B thread then?

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:46:25

It is navy. I can crochet as well as knit if that helps. I could crochet a navy bolero. I have navy wool with a silver thread through it. Much nicer than it sounds. I am yet to manage knitting shoes. I do have woven hemp slippers. I didn't make them though. A tribe in South America made them.

I have nothing useful to add but I do love your S&B threads SOH grin

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 16:48:46

I didn't mean to knit shoes. I meant to knit a bolero jacket or a stole.

Or give your husband one of these hmm and wear your cloak. I think it sounds gorgeous. [cloak envy emoticon]

EduStudent Wed 08-Aug-12 16:48:54

Oh I loved your maxi dress thread. Was absolute gold.

I like the dress. Would second a velvet jacket (you always need another velvet jacket wink)

Shoes. Um. I like brogues with dresses, but I don't think they'd work with that particular dress.

I like these but again not sure how they'd go.

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:49:00

Last years was palazzo trousers. I never found what I was looking for though. I'm still searching.

And oooooooooooh, a cape. I could definitely make a cape. It will differ from my cloak in that it won't have a hood. DH can't complain, surely.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Wed 08-Aug-12 16:50:13

What about a pair of low wedges? Much easier to walk in than heels.pick a column from the dress and get them in that.the dress is very nice.

SirEdmundFrillary Wed 08-Aug-12 16:52:03

Looking pretty's the Most Important Thing. Bugger your thoughts, ideas, etc.

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:52:30

Tee, my cloak is inspired. I seriously love it.

Those shoes are awesome Edu. The shop down t'road has cherry red patent brogues and I press my nose against the glass and covet them regularly. Dress has red flowers on it. Maybe maybe? Somebody lie to me. Is it an excuse to buy cherry red brogues?

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 16:53:28

like this.

Cape would be nice too.

DoUntoOlympians Wed 08-Aug-12 16:54:03

<happy sigh>

'Lympics on the telly. Cup of coffee and some biscuits. SoH's annual S&B thread.

Does it get any better? I think not.

I think you should get yourself back to Norwich for a day and go to Head in the Clouds. They will have something for you. It will smell so strongly of incense that you will have to hand it outside, but they will have the very thing.

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:55:39

Another MN friends suggested I try wedged espadrilles once. I still have the scars. I can't wear wedges. Not for long anyway.

DoUntoOlympians Wed 08-Aug-12 16:55:43

*hang it outside.

I think red would be good. A red velvet, cropped jacket and matching ballet shoes.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Wed 08-Aug-12 16:58:47

I meant colour obviously hmm
Not even low wedges?
you poor thing sad

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 16:59:17

We're going to Norwich in a fortnight to buy school shoes for dd. I am going to Head In The Clouds one, in order to sniff the air and two, to browse through the patchwork and tie dye offerings. DH thinks that I'm permanently in fancy dress and HITC doesn't help with this. I could go to Feet On The Ground next door if it's still there. They sell velvet shoes by the truckload. Sparkly ones.

Tee that's a picture of my MIL you have right there.

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 17:00:24

Oh I have red velvet thai ballet shoes. Completely forgot. Really very red ones.

Aah, Showy's annual S & B thread grin. Yes get thee to head in the clouds and pick up an eighth while you are there

EduStudent Wed 08-Aug-12 17:03:11

I would say yes to the cherry red brogues.

I am generally not to be listened to in matters of fashion.

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 17:10:12

Only an eighth? Are we not sharing?

Well, to be honest Showy, that dress.....

I'm kidding I like the dress! grin

Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak. Wear your cloak.

[enabler emoticon]

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 17:10:54

I'd be famous MissBee. "Norfolk hippy arrested by own husband". I'd be ready for my photo on the front of the EDP though. Cloak on, hood up.

Cherry red brogues would probably look fine. Red flowers, red shoes. It'll look matchy matchy surely. I could get a red hat too. A trilby. Or a cloche. I really want a cloche.

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 17:12:02

Tee, you'll be on my divorce papers you know.

Tee2072 Wed 08-Aug-12 17:14:24

Can I have your cloak? So I can present it in court as evidence? I'll give it back. Honest.

ShowOfHands Wed 08-Aug-12 17:18:21

Can you stride purposefully? You can only borrow my cloak if you can stride purposefully. Preferably down a medieval corridor.

On a scale of 1 to wrong, how bad are these?

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