Embracing my curls

(135 Posts)
Bumbolina Thu 23-Jan-14 07:06:46

I've got wavy/curly hair if I leave it to dry with a bit of mousse. I like it and would like to embrace my curls - what can I do to encourage them? I have days when they curl brilliantly and others where they barely kink!

I've been reading stuff online and a couple of websites have suggested not shampooing...?

HazleNutt Thu 23-Jan-14 07:12:54

that is one option, but have you tried special curl-enhancing products? Mousse is not the only option: www.hqhair.com/health-beauty/hair/curl-enhancing.list

Bumbolina Thu 23-Jan-14 07:18:14

Nope not tried much to be honest - I've always straightened my hair before now grin I'd have no idea where to start with that list!

There is a technique called 'plopping'that works well.

FlirtingFail Thu 23-Jan-14 07:36:47

Google the Curly Girl Method. I use this and it has transformed my hair. It's so much curlier now, and I almost never have bad hair days.

The basics are avoiding sodium laurel sulphate (which is in most shampoos) and silicone (which is in most conditioners and a lot of finishing products).

I use the Rainforest shampoo from the Body Shop, a Faith in Nature conditioner, and a basic L'Oreal gel. They are all cheap and work really well.

Its' worth getting the Curly Girl book if you can, as it explains it all really well, also how to wash and dry your hair. I tend to wash it at night and 'plop' it in a Primark microfibre turban overnight.

SavoyCabbage Thu 23-Jan-14 07:57:47

My dds have curls and a plant spray filled with water is good for reviving them in the morning.

Bexicles Thu 23-Jan-14 08:07:52

I started using the curly girl method last October and am very happy with the results. My hair is glossy and healthy looking. my curls are larger and more defined. I co wash so don't use any kind of shampoo at all.

Bumbolina Thu 23-Jan-14 08:24:08

Oh that looks interesting, but a bit scary!

FlirtingFail Thu 23-Jan-14 08:28:35

Oh yes I also use a plant spray filled with diluted hair gel. Brilliant for reviving curls.

Honestly, Curly Girl isn't scary at all. If you avoid SLS, you can still use shampoo (although I tend only to use it once a week or so).

Thecurlywurlymum Thu 23-Jan-14 08:59:16

Do it. You will never look back. You will also wonder why you spent so much time time straightening it. Curls all the way!!!

ivegotaniphone Thu 23-Jan-14 09:04:49

Bexicles what do you mean by co wash? and do you just wash it in water then? I cant use SLS and sadly am v allergic to glucosides, whcih is what most shampoos/shower gels etc have as their SLS alternative. I wash in soap, proper glycerine soap, which has added the added effect of getting rid of my eczema, If I wash my hair in it and slap a bit of frizz ease on it looks fab, but I want to get away from silicones really

Bumbolina Thu 23-Jan-14 09:14:03

Currently plopping...

Patilla Thu 23-Jan-14 09:25:02

Be aware it can take a bit of time to see results with curly girl so don't give up initially.

I found the first week bad and getting slowly better over a couple of weeks.

Then randomly around six months my hair suddenly got loads better again. Thus could be curly girl or post baby hormones but I was in two minds up until then as I worried my hair just looked greasy and now I love it.

I use tresemme naturals conditioner.

About once a week I use a loreal sulphite free shampoo as my hair is happier this way.

I then mostly just use the cheapie boots pink curl creme

Damnautocorrect Thu 23-Jan-14 09:45:35

Yes to curls. It's quite liberating and I wonder why I spent years with shit hair.
I use mousse on the ends and squidge it up. The next day I just dampened it down a bit and it curls up again. I do find I need to keep it a certain length or it doesn't curl (I guess because of the weight)

SavoyCabbage Thu 23-Jan-14 10:27:37

Flirting, what do you mean by hair gel? I am remembering the luminous pots of the 80's so I'm sure it's moved on since then. I have the book but no gel as I wasn't sure what it was'

MsWinnieBaygo Thu 23-Jan-14 11:42:14

As anyone actually tried plopping? Does it make a noticeable difference?

Bexicles Thu 23-Jan-14 12:06:15

Ivegot co washing just means using conditioner to wash. I use the tresemme natural one to co wash and a heavier nourishing conditioner to condition. I am currently using Dr Organics Moroccan argan oil conditioner, it smells lovely.

auldspinster Thu 23-Jan-14 12:07:50

Boots pink curl cream is great and cheap as chips.

FlirtingFail Thu 23-Jan-14 13:30:27

Savoy, this is the gel I use:

I am sure they are all much of a muchness though.

In the book, she suggests using gel (lots of it), so that's what I have always done. I know people rave about the curl creme, but it's never been great on my hair.

Plopping makes a big difference I find, as does scrunching the hair while the conditioner is in, and then again when you've put the gel in. What I do is to leave quite a bit of water in my hair, and then put in lots of gel, and scrunch most of the water and gel out. Then I plop in a Primark turban.

FlirtingFail Thu 23-Jan-14 13:30:53


idlevice Thu 23-Jan-14 13:44:23

Do you think if you have naturally curly hair it will look better if you wear it curly? Because that is what naturally suits you?

Floisme Thu 23-Jan-14 15:16:51

I think the way your hair is cut is just as important as any product. I'm not quite sure what my hairdresser does other than cut in loads of layers and chop it all up. But I do know that, if I get a bad cut, the weight of my hair just drags out all the curl.

I am so bored of seeing women with artificially straightened hair.

Thecurlywurlymum Thu 23-Jan-14 17:13:39

I've just discovered the kinky curly range and love it. It seems a bit expensive to start with but you only need a small amount. I get it from the curly emporium web site. This is coming from a curly who has tried everything going and has the half used jars to prove it.

mathanxiety Thu 23-Jan-14 17:20:39

Curly Girl method is great. I haven't shampooed for many years now. I also use Tresemme conditioner for washing though not every time -- sometimes just water.

DD1 got me some DevaCurl curl products for Christmas -- lavender scented refreshing spray and gel to put in after the shower. They are wonderful. The owner of DevaCurl authored the Curly Girl method.

If you use gel other than that brand, water it down.

If you do go curly, pay attention to your eyebrows and always have them neat and shaped. Otherwise the effect can be a bit wooly all over.

TheRaniOfYawn Thu 23-Jan-14 17:24:28

Plopping makes a huge difference to my wavy hair.

Solo Thu 23-Jan-14 17:32:44

I like and use Twisted Sista curl activator.

And yes to a bad cut pulling all the curls out too! angry

Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 19:50:39

A few things

I went to a hairdresser in Birmingham who specialises in curly hair, totally changed my hair!

He recommended not using shampoo with sulphates or conditioner / styling products with silicone. Said to only use Bodyshop Rainforest products.

Agree buying Curly Girl handbook, great book!

Solo Thu 23-Jan-14 19:53:30

<considers travelling to Birmingham>

Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 20:11:55

I've written about this hairdresser before. He's si good. He worked in New York for ten years with the author of the Curly Girl handbook. Took ages to analyse my hair, cut it dry so he could see how the curls/ waves fell and showed me how to dry it afterwards. He has clients from not only the UK but also Europe!!

GeekInThePink Thu 23-Jan-14 21:39:23

I only have a kink really not much of a curl but I do have proper curls at nape of neck and side bits by my ears.

Would the curly girl method encourage curls?

littlebillie Thu 23-Jan-14 21:58:28

Who is the hairdresser?

littlebillie Thu 23-Jan-14 22:03:51

I have gone against Cg and found I don't need conditioner. I use a low poo shampoo with gel etc

GreenRedBlueYellowPurple Thu 23-Jan-14 22:04:54

Marking place!

Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 22:27:54

This is the website for the hairdresser I mentioned.


Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 22:31:37

The Curly Girl Handbook also talks about the different types of curly hair, from slightly wavy to full on rights curls and tells you how to care for/ manage them. It's v interesting. It's also got lots of stories from women who for years felt bad about their hair until they learnt how to embrace th curls! Including the author...

Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 22:40:18

This is a good article about why silicone is bad for curly hair. Feel I've become a bit evangelical about this lately but it's made a big difference to my hair,it was dry, brittle and I spent a fortune on expensive hair products that actually were just adding to the problem and now I know why...


FlirtingFail Fri 24-Jan-14 05:27:17

I have also been to Matthew James. He is good!

Then I found somebody excellent in my hometown, by asking a woman in a cafe with great curly hair where she got hers done.

Geek, in my experience, yes, it will encourage the curl. You don't use a hairbrush which helps. You might be surprised by how curly you actually are.

GeekInThePink Fri 24-Jan-14 09:18:46

Thanks flirtingfail I find my current conditioner is weighing my hair down so no curl.

I'm definitely going to try it!

GeekInThePink Fri 24-Jan-14 09:24:20

If I use the rainforest range can I still shampoo and condition?

DracoMalfoysHairGel Fri 24-Jan-14 09:37:35

Ooh intrigued by 'plopping' , I will have a go later . My hair is a natural loose curl but I struggle with frizz so this may be the answer . I will report back ...

TheOriginalSteamingNit Fri 24-Jan-14 09:41:25

Organix Moroccan Curl defining cream... I've been using this for the last week or so, and it's the best I've used. I know lots of people like the Boots pink curl cream, but I found it made mine a bit crunchy.

I wash mine with conditioner (lots), and rake it through while still in the shower, so the tangles are all gone while it's still absolutely dripping wet. That way you're not detangling as well as putting product on, and you don't lose the curls.

As soon as I'm dressed, I smooth the cream all over, slightly separating curls... then chuck head forward, rake through v gently, and leave.

I don't do 'plopping' or anything, and I really like my curls at the moment. I think they're coming back into fashion, as well!

GreenRedBlueYellowPurple Sat 25-Jan-14 02:24:24

SteamingNit does it resemble Macadamia/Moroccan oil?

Lydiejo Sat 25-Jan-14 05:06:37

Since when were curls not in fashion? I love my curls. I did the no poo method for a while but fell off the bandwagon. I think this has inspired me to start up again!

Does this method work on (seriously) coloured hair? My poor hair desperately wants to be grey & curly but I've been forcing it to be bright red & straight for years! The red is non-negotiable!

mathanxiety Sat 25-Jan-14 07:14:35

Mine is coloured and since discovering the CG method is naturally curly. Works well.

EarSlaps Sat 25-Jan-14 07:24:45

I have wavy hair, so I do a sort of curly girl routine. I am SLS and silicone free, but plopping just seemed to make my hair messy rather than curly.

My hair is really dry, so I use coconut oil on it plus a tiny bit of curl cream to control it. I spend so much less time on it and it looks better and feels healthier. I have been doing it about a year and I can see that the new hair growth is healthier. I only straighten my fringe now.

slugseatlettuce Sat 25-Jan-14 07:31:34

Hi! I am silicone free but having probs finding a non-sls shampoo that suits me. I use tresemme naturals conditioner, coconut oil and frizz ease curl controller gel. Gel is fab, I was a bit apprehensive but it doesn't look wet or crunchy after! My hair is s much thicker, curlier and in better condition. I am now thinking silicone is the work of the devil and am trying to stop using silicone moisturiser on my skin too.

GampyWabbit Sat 25-Jan-14 07:37:06

Curly girl method - no shampoo, silicone free conditioner (leave most in), hair oil or cream followed by gel (to seal in the moisture). grin

HellsGranny Sat 25-Jan-14 07:38:53

Watching with interest, the under layer of my hair has ringlets but the top layer barely waves. I spend a lot of time either with crap hair or straightening it. Would love to embrace the wave.

EarSlaps Sat 25-Jan-14 07:55:51

Slugs- I like the Tresemme Naturals shampoo, but just do one lather of it. I find I can't shampoo more than twice a week so if I have to wash more I use conditioner.

Something that made a huge difference when washing my hair is a Denman shampoo brush. It really helps loosen all the dirt so you get a great clean with less product. It has made a huge change to my previously itchy scalp.

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara Sat 25-Jan-14 08:31:55

I am going to go against the grain here, but I found that the curly girl method made my hair look horrible. It was quite frizzy and sort of "fluffy" looking with no shine.

I have very dry hair and find that silicones actually help me lock in the moisture, and keeps my hair shiny and tangle-free.

I use Frizz-ease shampoo and conditioner, then Moroccanoil, serum, and Frizz-ease mousse.

I then spray on Aussie Jojoba leave-in conditioner on dry hair to refresh in between shampoos, and I do an overnight oil mask the night before shampooing.

GeekInThePink Sat 25-Jan-14 10:32:41

I'm a bit confused about when to use the natural shampoo and conditioner?
When do I wash with conditioner and how does this ensure I don't look like a grease head?

Brightoncheery Sat 25-Jan-14 14:07:26

Naked Gorgeous Curls curl taming cream is the best styling product that I've tried and I've tried a lot!

Bought myself some tresseme shampoo & conditioner, already got boots curl creme, bring on the curls!

Bumbolina Sat 25-Jan-14 16:58:39

I tried only conditioning my hair from Wednesday, and gave up today it itched like crazy, and my hair felt like straw hmm It didn't look greasy as I thought it would though, and my hubby said my hair looked nice so it must have done something grin

Not sure I could do it long term though, plus my curls weren't defined - and it wasn't as curly as I hoped. The plopping does seem to help a bit, but the curls aren't defined.

I shampooed, conditioned then plopped today and my hubby said "oooh I'm liking the curls" so maybe it is working... or maybe I've chatted about it so much he remembered to notice. Not that it matters I'm not doing it for him, he's just my only point of reference!

isitpimmsoclockyet Sat 25-Jan-14 21:05:25

I could have written the OP....thank you all very much!!! I have made a shopping list and am looking forward to embracing my curls......I have fought the wave my whole life and only recently have decided to abandon the GHDs in favour of a blow dry.....this advice means I'm going to try 'full natural curls'. Yikes!!!

had to chuckle at the co-washing thing....I assumed it was something along the lines of showering with your other half!!!!

Scarletohello Sat 25-Jan-14 23:28:59

I think if you are trying a different method of washing/ conditioning your hair you have to be patient and give if time, it won't work overnight.

Re silicones, short term yes they will make your hair look shiny, but it's superficial, like coating your hair in plastic and over time your hair won't be able to absorb moisture as the silicone acts like a barrier and will become dry and brittle.

Scarletohello Sat 25-Jan-14 23:32:28

Devacurl products on Amazon are specifically designed for curly hair too. Not tried them yet but you can get a trial size pack if you want to give them a go!

mathanxiety Sun 26-Jan-14 00:02:09

You could do that too, Isitpimmsoclockyet, but if it makes your hair curl I want to PM you and find out what the two of you are doing smile

Bexicles Sun 26-Jan-14 10:16:00

Bumb sometimes I use a tiny amount of coconut oil as though it's serum and rub through my curls. This helps to give the curls definition.
I've just ordered a microfiber turban off ebay to try to plop with!

JayEmm Sun 26-Jan-14 11:33:01

I haven't used shampoo for about five years. I get it soaking wet (takes ages), comb in the shower, use minimal amounts of very cheap normal conditioner as a leave in, do some scrunching and let it dry naturally. Occasionally give it some oil or other grease which defrizzes without actually looking greasy.

Defined curls as seen on tv and in John Frieda adverts are pretty rare in real life, and if you do see perfect curls out and about, chances are that someone has put a LOT of time into making them look like that. I'm of the life-is-too-short camp so mine do their thing. Sometimes they look great, sometimes they look a bit frizzy, sometimes it's just a totally wild cloud of mad hair. But other people think it always looks amazing, so there's that! Curls are much more forgiving than straight hair I think.

GeekInThePink Sun 26-Jan-14 13:44:02

I tried plopping. It has seems to have helped a lot! Just need some definition.
What was the best creme?
What about frizz?

Not conditioning has been the difference today- definitely not as straight.
Also didn't brush hair in shower brushed before.

LaFataTurchina Sun 26-Jan-14 13:57:12

I've decided to try not using sulphates and silicones in my hair anymore.

I've just switched to Boots Botanicals shampoo and conditioner, and then use a little bit of the Boots curl creme which i've heard lots of good things about.

JayEmm Sun 26-Jan-14 15:21:56

Try not brushing at all and just using a wide-toothed comb, or even finger-combing. Brushing is awful for curly hair.

CoteDAzur Sun 26-Jan-14 15:44:51

I have a thick mane of long & curly hair that has not been dried, combed, or brushed for over 10 years.

I do wash with shampoo, then untangle with my fingers when conditioner is in (not near scalp). Squeeze water out, leave for a big in a towel (didn't know it was called 'plopping')

Then apply liberal amounts of Curl Friends cream from Boots and leave to dry. Much later, apply a tiny bit of silicon serum to perfectly define the curls.

Others have tried to dissuade me from silicon but I honestly can't see how my hair could be healthier, thicker, and shinier so I ignored them grin

CoteDAzur Sun 26-Jan-14 15:50:49

Well, it does get combed, brushed and blow dried at the hairdresser's about once a month but that's all.

JayEmm Sun 26-Jan-14 16:09:20

One of my favourite inadvertent hair successes was detangling with my fingers when my hands were covered with the residue from Lush's Buffy the backside slayer. Result: lovely defined curls!

Suspect it would have gone horrible for someone with hair less thick and dry than mine, though. Mine can even take baby oil without looking greasy.

JayEmm Sun 26-Jan-14 16:16:43

Henna also defrizzes my hair for a few days quite nicely. Basically anything with oil in will do it.

If you want ringlets and you have a natural curl to start with, it's really easy: just separate out small sections and twiddle them round your forefinger with some product on your hands. Then scrunch a bit and voila. You have to twiddle all the same way, if that makes sense, otherwise it goes a bit mad. Takes about ten minutes on mine (medium long, thick, v curly) so if you've got shorter hair it'd be really easy to do.

Orangeanddemons Sun 26-Jan-14 16:29:09

Can any of you lovely ladies help with my curly daughter. I dread hair washing and combing. It's very silky and fine, and settles into ringlets when it's clean. It's also long. I love her ringlets, but I hate dealing with them. It's so knotty all the time, and she won't let me condition it.

Finger drying does not rid it of the knots and snarls, and it knots together in a lump.

mathanxiety Sun 26-Jan-14 16:29:53

I bought a product called The Wet Comb for one of the DDs for Christmas. It has wavy tines. It works much better than a wide toothed comb with straight tines for detangling in the shower. There's far less pulling. Other than using that or fingers to detangle, I never comb or brush mine.

JayEmm Sun 26-Jan-14 16:38:23

Orange could you swap the washing for conditioning? Detangling, however you do it, is loads easier on hair that's got conditioner on it.

When I was about 12 or 13 my hair got in a such a state that an older friend had to cut self-generated dreadlocks out of the back of it - I wasn't detangling properly (and it was really, really long at that point). It's always been a bit shorter since then and I try and make sure to get any big knots out as soon as I spot them. Shorter is easier with curls.

CoteDAzur Sun 26-Jan-14 16:44:45

Orange - DD's hair is long and all thick ringlets that become proper rastas around her neck if left unwashed for a few days.

We shampoo her hair, then apply my hair conditioner, and comb through her hair with the magic comb called Tangle Teezer. We bought ours at Hamleys toy store. It is absolutely brilliant and combs through her hair with no pain it drama in one minute.

Orangeanddemons Sun 26-Jan-14 17:26:26

I've got a tangle tamer and a tangle teezer is best, but it's still a struggle. Can any of you lovely ladies recommend a leave in conditioner. I can only ever find one, and it s from the Ausie range and it smells awful

JayEmm Sun 26-Jan-14 17:29:55

The Charles Worthington one smells good and worked on my hair - you can also use normal conditioner as a leave in if you don't use too much.

mathanxiety Sun 26-Jan-14 20:08:50

You can leave any conditioner in. I don't rinse all the Tresemme out.

GeekInThePink Sun 26-Jan-14 20:13:32

I have very fine hair and during the course of today it's gone quite stringy...I think it's because there isn't any curl definition.

So boots curl creme is the one to get?

slugseatlettuce Sun 26-Jan-14 20:20:52

I like the frizz ease curl controller gel or spray gel too. Gel sounds scary but its fab, honest!
And you can get coconut oil from superdrug, usually in the skincare bit

CoteDAzur Sun 26-Jan-14 22:09:48

Geek - It's called "Curl Friends" by Umberto Giannini I think. I buy mine in Boots, yes.

Solo Tue 28-Jan-14 12:04:56

Ok, today for the first time I have used Tail n mane shampoo and conditioner and plopped my hair. Then after about an hour of plopped hair, I have left it to dry on its own. It is soft and curly.

My hairdresser niece has been cutting my hair for a year or two, but the last cut she did was awful and I won't let her cut it again. Don't think she's been near it for about 8 months now with the scissors.

I'm hoping to go to a hairdresser with a good reputation for cutting curlies and not too expensive and also... not in Birmingham local.

When my hair is behaving well (curly), and I'm wearing it down, I dry my hands on it after washing them as it gives the curls a boost. I also don't brush or comb my hair except before I wash it.

I washed and conditioned Dd's very curly and long hair last night, but I have to brush her hair every day since being at school, as I plait it every day. It feels very silky, but I noticed that it is a bit bitty and I'm not sure if that means it needs a really good cut. I usually trim her hair myself twice a year and take up to 3" off. If it is in need of cutting to get rid of the bittiness then I'm going to have to cut 12" off and I don't want to sad
Any ideas?

Solo Fri 31-Jan-14 12:11:35

Yesterday I had my hair cut. He blow dried the front and put round brushes in it at the back to make it curl, then put clips in it while it set. Looked very nice when I left, but today it looks very straight! I don't wash my hair more than once a week usually, but I want my curls back! if I wash it out today, it will have been washed 3 times in 4 days!

CoteDAzur Fri 31-Jan-14 17:29:37

So wash your hair. What seems to be the problem?

Solo Fri 31-Jan-14 19:03:47

I hate, hate hate washing my hair! that's the problem!

mathanxiety Sat 01-Feb-14 04:11:46

Stop plaiting the DD's hair? There is more you can do than just plaiting to keep curly hair neat in school. I kept DD4's shorter than shoulder length dry (when wet it was much longer) and she kept it all off her face with butterfly clips. Some days she liked it twisted into two little buns, left and right. As it grew longer she just gathered it into a ponytail without any brushing.

Brushing or combing it out every morning before school was such a horrible experience for her and for me by extension that I started looking into alternatives and ended up trying the CG method out of sheer desperation. When I saw how well her hair looked and how well our mornings were going I tried it myself..

And wash your own? Ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish and then what you are prepared to do in order to get that done. You won't get a different result if you do the same things the same way.

ProjectGainsborough Sat 01-Feb-14 08:50:55

This is inspiring me to investigate mine and DD's curls. But two things - doesn't your head get mega itchy if you don't shampoo? And also, do you never brush, ever?? I feel a bit twitchy about that.

slugseatlettuce Sat 01-Feb-14 09:03:44

I just brush mine when wet. But everyone's hair is different. British curlies is great for advice, but maybe look at their older posts, some of the new ones I find a bit sales-y

Janek Sat 01-Feb-14 09:13:36

I've been using the curly girl method for 4.5 years, my hair is only ever brushed by the hairdresser, i just run my fingers through it the rest of the time. It doesn't itch at all, although it does feel particularly zingy after a haircut.

I use dr organics coconut conditioner (seems thicker than others in the range, so a bottle lasts longer...) and Lush Dirty hair creme - the boots curl cream made my hair feel really crispy as someone upthread said.

ByTheSea Sat 01-Feb-14 09:37:49

I have course, thick, dry, very curly hair. I use tresemme salon silk shampoo and conditioner. I shampoo once a week and condition daily. I towel dry, apply a glob of boots pink curl creme, brush through whilst wet, shake and then a little scrunch. Very cheap and very effective and I get a lot of compliments on my hair.
It is important to have a good shape from a stylist who understands curly hair as well.

JayEmm Sat 01-Feb-14 16:02:10

No itching here, it gets rinsed every day.

Brushing my hair when dry just destroys it - it might be different when wet but combing always made more sense. Don't think my hair has been brushed with a hairbrush for about 15 years and I don't miss it at all. Hair looks a million times better than it used to.

mathanxiety Sat 01-Feb-14 19:37:57

No itch, and brushing is something I don't miss one bit. I put my fingers through it in the shower when it's got conditioner all over it and that sorts it out.

You clean your scalp using conditioner and fingertips just as you would with shampoo, then rinse.

ProjectGainsborough Sat 01-Feb-14 20:32:50

Ok, I plopped, and it doesn't look to bad. I did brush when it was 90% wet though and I think that has caused some frizz. Need to retrain my brain (twitch).

CoteDAzur Sat 01-Feb-14 21:30:46

I don't understand what benefit we are to have from not shampooing our hair.

I use shampoo & conditioner on mine. Haven't brushed my hair for years but run my hand through it while the conditioner is in so it gets "combed" on a regular basis.

Solo Sun 02-Feb-14 00:46:12

Blimey math I feel like you've just given me a good telling off!!!

Sometimes Dd's hair is put in a bun, but recently, she's requested I plait it for her. I use a Tangle Teezer and am quite gentle as I have bad memories from my own childhood of a less than gentle mother ripping a brush through my hair every morning and I won't subject anyone to that treatment. If I left it in a ponytail and didn't brush Dd's hair every day she'd have dreadlocks within a week and I'd have to cut it to the scalp. I do though sometimes leave it plaited from Friday until Monday morning, but it is then more knotty than I'd like, plus ends up very dusty.

Mine? well, I will put up with the straightened hair until I next wash it.

mathanxiety Sun 02-Feb-14 00:55:48

Sorry Solo blush

I am curious though, as to what you hate about washing your hair. I remember as a child hating it because the bathroom was so cold my lips would turn purple and my arms and legs got all blotchy.

If you don't want dreadlocks in the DD's hair, just wash it daily or every second day and separate it with fingers when loaded with conditioner.

Solo Sun 02-Feb-14 01:02:37

I don't know...I think raising my arms above my head causes so much pain and aches over the past 14 years and it's gone on from there really. I find it such a chore.
I don't have the time or energy to wash Dd's hair daily or more than once a fortnight/3 weeks and she certainly would agree to it either!

CoteDAzur Sun 02-Feb-14 10:17:04

I'm sorry it's painful for you to wash your own hair but you must make an effort to wash your DD's hair more often than once every 2-3 weeks. Of course dreadlocks form if you don't wash her hair for weeks.

lymiemum Sun 02-Feb-14 18:35:33

ive decided to give the curly girl method a go...but i need help!
do i need 2 types of conditioner for co washing?
can i dye my hair?
what products do i need? ive read about the boots cream and the umberto gianni jelly, do you just use 1?
ive put 2 pics of my hair on my profile, is it curly enough for this method to be worth a shot?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sun 02-Feb-14 21:45:27

When I use shampoo, I get fluff rather than curls. I use it once in a while just because I think I should, but not on a day I'm doing anything important.

I say again, the moroccan curl stuff works a treat for me!

Janek Sun 02-Feb-14 21:56:56

lymie i think you are supposed to use a thinnish one for co-washing and a thicker one for conditioning, but i've never bothered, i just 'wash' my hair with conditioner then rinse it out. But i guess i can't leave a bit in my hair (not sure if i even knew that was a thing) as the conditioner is then presumably 'dirty' and needs rinsing out.

I read a thread on here giving the analogy of a washing machine - the massaging of your finger pads on your scalp are what gets it clean, as opposed to shampoo. I was quite vigorous to begin with to get past the haven't-washed-your-hair-for-a-week stage as quickly as possible, i'm less vigorous now, 4+ years in.

Oh and my hair was only half curly when i started as it went straight when bfing dd2, then when she stopped it grew back curly from the roots, but the rest was still straight. Looked pretty weird for quite a while there...

Solo Sun 02-Feb-14 23:38:25

Cote there aren't dreadlocks if I keep Dd's hair plaited and brush daily, but there would be if it was in a tail. If she is off to a party, she'll have her hair loose or in a tail and it's a nightmare to sort out afterwards and has the start of locks. I really don't see the point in torturing her by not brushing and I never brushed/combed her hair until she went to nursery, I just sprayed with water and fingered through it if necessary. School changes a lot of things and for her to get head lice...well! that's just not funny.
I will only wash her hair weekly if she is particularly sweaty as she tends to be in the warmer summer months. She has fairly dry hair even with the daily brushing. Her hair when pulled straight is just above her bottom, so about 2 feet long from her nape.

mathanxiety Mon 03-Feb-14 05:43:04

If her hair is dry it needs more moisture than it is getting from the infrequent washing.

CoteDAzur Mon 03-Feb-14 11:17:49

If you wash & comb through her hair with conditioner every other day, you won't have to torture her by brushing her hair every day.

Curly hair just isn't meant to be brushed all the time. It looks better with locks & curls in place when it is left to dry on its own and not brushed at all.

My DD goes to school, too. Yes, I have plaited her hair (still without brushing) at the height of the nits scare earlier in the school year, but otherwise leave her hair free to form its tight locks.

Solo Tue 04-Feb-14 01:28:24

I don't want her with dreadlocks though. I would have to cut her hair if she got dreadlocks...although she's mixed race, she is very white with blond european hair iyswim?
I know curly hair doesn't need brushing if you don't have hair down to your backside and are capable of looking after it yourself, but Dd is not and I think the only way I could leave it loose is if I were to cut it to her shoulders...that's becoming more likely as time goes on sadly.
How long is your Dd's hair Cote? does she have dreadlocks permanently? and if not, how do you get them out?

Solo Tue 04-Feb-14 01:29:52

Oh and yes, I've plaited without brushing, but it's a mass of knots to which she screams blue murder as I struggle to separate the sections sad

CoteDAzur Tue 04-Feb-14 08:13:18

She won't have dreadlocks if you wash her hair every other day.

DD's hair comes to her waist when combed with conditioner. Bounces back in curls to about 5 cm under her shoulders when dry. Her hair forms natural locks as in tight curls, not dreadlocks.

Wash her hair, comb with conditioner, rinse. Towel-dry by squeezing not tossing hair around, then apply a tiny bit of conditioner over the top and tips. Leave to dry. And see what happens smile

When you want to style it, just wet it a bit and let dry again.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Tue 04-Feb-14 09:42:50

You know how everyone always says 'get a hairdresser who understands curly hair'? I've always just let them cut it and straighten it at the time, just for a change really - but assuming you ring in advance and say 'I've got curly hair, can you do that?', how many did people go through before they found a curl-cutter they were happy with?

ProjectGainsborough Tue 04-Feb-14 15:10:24

I have a question, too! I am now no co-washing and longer brushing (thanks to this thread - baa).

Will my halo of frizz die down over time? I'm enjoying the curls, but when I stand against a white background, all I can see is bloody frizz poking out round the edges.

Nit I'm going to try this guy in Birmingham that was recommended upthread. If people travel to see him from Europe, he must be good!

mathanxiety Tue 04-Feb-14 15:38:07

My DD2 had thick curly hair down to her backside even as a toddler, and still does at age 18. It bounces up about 6 inches when dry. Now that DD3's hair has grown really long (she is now 15) it also has about 6 inches of bounce. She can just about sit on it when it's wet. DD3 (I think I called her DD4 upthread blush -- she wouldn't like that) is a redhead and had less hair as a baby, and it seemed to take longer to grow than DD2's hair. She was born with a mop.

I washed DD2's hair every two days when she showered. I let them all shower themselves from age 4 -- if a small child gets under the water often enough she will be clean even if she doesn't attend to each and every washable bit every time, and I think the habit of washing is an important one to develop. And of course, being clean has a lot going for it too.

For haircare, I leaned in around the shower curtain and squirted the right amount of shampoo and then conditioner on, watched to be sure they were washing it right, and made sure it was all rinsed. When we changed to conditioner only, I supervised until they were able to manage it properly themselves.

For DD2's long hair, I then put in some leave in conditioner on the last ten inches and combed through with a pick, and when it was almost dry I plaited it. I never brushed it. With DD3 and her shorter but still very curly hair, she could scrunch it herself. Before discovering the Curly Girl / conditioner/ no brushing the pulling was just horrible for her, hence my search for an alternative..

We never got nits. I dreaded them because their hair was really not amenable to the fine combing required.

Solo Tue 04-Feb-14 23:58:33

I really can't see me washing hair every other day. Doubt she'd agree either.

My own hair is curly again! seems that the Turkish man that cut my hair did know what he was doing! really very pleased! may take Dd to see him! wish I could speak Turkish

Scarletohello Wed 05-Feb-14 00:03:20

Project ooh you're going to see Michael James in Brum?
( 'twas me who recommended him). Love to know how you get on.... For me my wavy, frizzy hair had never looked better, I was seriously impressed. It's still looking good now 2 months on, time for a new visit I think!

mathanxiety Wed 05-Feb-14 00:21:10

Do you not worry about your child smelling, and being teased about it in school?

Very few children really enjoy having to wash but I can't see the downside of making them do it all the same.

CoteDAzur Wed 05-Feb-14 06:20:12

What math said.

Nobody said its fun to wash children with curly hair but you can't just leave your daughter's hair unwashed for weeks on end.

We had hot water once a week when I was growing up, so that was when my hair was washed. I can't imagine my mum saying, "No actually, I'm not washing your hair this week because I can't be bothered. Keep it dirty for another week".

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 00:35:54

It does not smell! in the warmer months when she gets sweaty and it starts to smell sweaty (sweaty, not dirty ), I wash it. No way would I not wash it if it stank! I'm very fussy/funny about smells and dirty people, so I can assure you that her hair does not smell.

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 00:43:15

In fact, one of the other Mums was talking about washing her Dd's hair and I said I only washed my Dd's every 2-3 weeks and she was very impressed that it looked so good. As she said "you'd never know"
Works for us.

mathanxiety Thu 06-Feb-14 03:00:21

It strikes me that comment could have meant 'you would never know it was ever washed' just as much as 'you'd never know it is washed so infrequently it looks so good.' Even assuming she meant it as a compliment, she was still surprised at the infrequency of washing, or she wouldn't have said 'you'd never know'. And people are often more polite IRL than here, as you may have noticed...

CoteDAzur Thu 06-Feb-14 06:53:13

Ok so you don't want to wash your own hair because you can't comfortably lift your hands above your head. Why don't you want to wash your DD's hair? It's only torture for all involved because you wash it so infrequently. Rastas happen because her hair isn't washed.

Can you just give it a go? Wash her hair twice in one week and see if her hair is more manageable & washing it gets easier?

TheRaniOfYawn Thu 06-Feb-14 10:02:08

Argh. I just had a bad haircut which took off length but not volume. Now my hair just looks bushy.

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 10:14:58

Oh no...she's a good friend and her culture means that she speaks her mind! grin

Rastas happen because they don't cut or brush my friend most certainly washes his very long dreads.
I have no intention of 'giving it a go' Cote. Her hair is not stinking and it's not dirty. If it was, I'd wash it. My own hair is washed if it is dirty or smells. We aren't mingers!!

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 06-Feb-14 11:20:44

I wash mine so that I don't ever have to notice that stinks or is dirty though - it's a preventive, isn't it?

I think it might be fairer to dd to wash it a bit more often, you know.

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 11:33:43

I don't actually let my hair get to the smell stage. I know that's what it says up there, but I don't because I 'brush' my hair with my fingers and you know how your hair feels etc and the need to wash it...And what exactly is 'unfair' about not washing Dd's hair every couple of days? she doesn't have greasy/oily hair and nor do I. I just can't fathom why I 'need' to wash hair that isn't dirty. Certainly, the most frequent I'd ever wash her hair is once a week, but never more so.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 06-Feb-14 11:41:46

Well, it will be dirty if it's not washed for 2-3 weeks! Really it will.

Anyway, this isn't a thread about how often people should wash their children's hair, and I'm sorry for getting distracted by that.

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 11:46:57

It isn't dirty! if it was dirty it would smell and it doesn't smell! and yes, I know it's not about how often hair is washed! I was asking about ideas as to how I could deal with bitty hair on Dd, ie is there anything that can mend, make better bitty hair (not split ends, just bitty) other than just cutting it by 12".

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 06-Feb-14 12:04:40

Things which are not washed for three weeks are dirty!
But yes, I would think that a trim would be good for bitty hair. Just wash it before you take her!

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 14:05:11

I cut her hair myself...after washing as cutting curly hair is not easy.

mathanxiety Thu 06-Feb-14 17:10:26

It really couldn't be anything but dirty if only wash every 2-3 weeks. Apart from sweat, there is dust and airborne dirt that will gather there.

Wash and condition it comprehensively every 3-4 days at the least and the bittiness will diminish.

Cutting curly hair is much easier if done dry. It's a process more like topiary care than traditional hair cutting as you can see how the curls lie, and maintain or create the shape you want with confidence that that is the shape you will get. Cutting it wet is taking a big chance.

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 23:28:22

I've only cut it dry once ~ never again! plus, because it's plaited daily, if I did the topiary cut, the ends would be all over the place. I get what you mean, but I just cut it straight across as there are no layers; it's just to keep the ends healthy.

CoteDAzur Thu 06-Feb-14 23:32:49

Solo - I'm not judging (truly) but I have to say that I am a bit sad for a little girl whose hair is always in plaits and gets washed only once every 2-3 weeks.

Solo Fri 07-Feb-14 00:02:01

It certainly feels like judgement from here! if you had my daughters hair, I think you would be plaiting her hair daily too, especially as she wants long hair. It's practical and tidy. I know that brushing curly hair makes it frizzy (I've had many arguments with my own Mum about that as she's a big fan of soap and water/brushing hair 100 times each night ~ you get the picture...Victorian type!), but plaiting takes that away. When I was working, I had to plait her hair before she went to bed for school the next day or she would've looked a complete mess for school.
If I wasn't keeping my child clean, I could understand you thinking whatever it is you're thinking, but she is clean; I don't leave her hair for months on end; I wash it when it needs to be washed...usually every fortnight and you know what? the water is hardly ever dark/grey/brown to indicate dirty hair.
I understand why you might think that everyone should wash their/their childrens hair all the time, but it is not my view.

Do I need to be on the lookout for child welfare at the front door?!wink

mathanxiety Fri 07-Feb-14 03:13:31

It's just the concept that is like topiary. The shape you end up with doesn't have to resemble shrubbery. Cutting straight across while dry is what I do with DD3's hair. With DD2 I cut some layers while dry. I do my own too, using a mirror attached to the shower curtain behind me and the mirror over the sink in front, and always dry.

I must confess I am shock that water would ever be dark/grey/brown when anyone's hair was washed.

CoteDAzur Fri 07-Feb-14 09:24:33

My hair is really long so I let the hairdresser trim its length.

Then I cut into my hair at home, when clean and dry, to give it volume & bounce in the right places.

I have never seen mine or the children's bath water turn grey, brown, or black after washing hair and I'm really surprised that you think hair isn't dirty unless that happens.

Solo Fri 07-Feb-14 10:04:51

I think that has occurred once, just once and that was after she was ill, sweaty etc. I remember pointing it out to her.
Over washing hair takes away all the natural oils.

I know what you mean by 'topiary' type cutting. I watched a youtube tutorial about it and that hairdresser left her daughters hair loose and it was shoulder length (when dry)...plus she was about 2yo.
For us right now, it's about keeping Dd's hair tidy and out of her face.

Let's just agree to disagree shall we? seems the best thing to do as we will probably never agree smile but thank you for your opinions and tips.

ProjectGainsborough Tue 11-Feb-14 12:46:21

Just reviving this thread to say I have FINALLY managed to get an appt with Matthew James in Bham in early March. He is a popular man! Scarlett I will report back.

Also seeing a huge reduction in frizz after DIY-ing an avocado and olive oil mask last night.

mathanxiety Tue 11-Feb-14 14:30:31

A quick question for people who do masks like that -- do you not get smelly and blocked drains?

CoteDAzur Tue 11-Feb-14 14:40:41

I'm curious, too.

I'm also puzzled by the idea of hair masks. Hair is made up of dead cells, so can't benefit from fruits or whatever, contrary to skin for example which you can argue does benefit from a face mask.

So I don't get how a hair mask is supposed to nourish hair. Surely if hair is less fizzy & shiny as a result, it's because some of the oil in the mask is still on the hair?

ProjectGainsborough Wed 12-Feb-14 11:00:43

Probably cote - I would assume conditioner works in the same way. Avocados are fatty, so I guess you could consider them an oil too.(Although don't protein masks claim to penetrate the shaft?)

In terms of drains, this is the first time I've done one, so I will report back in time! TBH, though, the mask is liquid (needs to be blended in the whizzer) so I would imagine it washes away in the same way that any conditioner is washed down the drain. As long as your water pressure is decent and you clean the bath, I would have thought it would be ok.

CoteDAzur Wed 12-Feb-14 16:28:57

" protein masks claim to penetrate the shaft?"

And do what when they get there? Hair cells are dead. It's not like they can grow/replenish/get healthier when 'fed' protein [puzzled]

I'm always a bit hmm when asked if I want a mask at hairdressers. It feels like a con - overpriced conditioner left on your hair for 10 minutes so they can charge you as much as for a haircut.

I use hair conditioner in the shower to comb through my hair (with fingers) and then use the cream I mentioned downthread to define curls and then a tiny bit of silicon serum to zapp fizziness when hair is completely dry.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now