Should I just get a new hairstyle and ignore what people at work say..........

(67 Posts)
Leedsavril Tue 21-Jan-14 15:08:15

I am in my mid 40's and have had the same hairstyle for about 25 years! It is a typical below the shoulder style, its very thick, highlighted and with a few soft layers in it. For about a year now I have been mulling over having a change for a few reasons. I don't think it looks as bouncy or as healthy as it used to, I am fed up spending 30 minutes blowing it every morning after its daily wash and probably the main reason is that I would love a big change after all this time.
I like the look of stylish short hair and I saw a style that I really liked so I thought I would ask a few friends both family and at work what they thought.
Here are a couple of pics of me and what I'd like.
I was just not prepared for some of the comments and strong opinions. My girlfriends were mainly supportive and offered advice, some feel I will regret it some say go for it....I can take that but the comments from some of the guys at work were just shocking. I got remarks like "You will look like your mum"......"Don't cut it as you will loose all your sex appeal"....."You'll look horrible with short hair"............."That's not fancyable" I am unsure if I find these comments rude, insulting or just honest but I can't believe that something as trivial as a new hairstyle has provoked such a strong reaction from the guys. I am now a bit unsure what to do, I feel I would like the new style but I want to be sure I am doing it because I want to, not because some guys at work have made comments that I do not like.
Has anyone else had this sort of experience.......what do you think?

buttercrumble Tue 21-Jan-14 15:14:35

I think it will suit you , it's a lovely style you have picked. I bet everyone will love it when you've been to the hairdressers, go for it smile

Floisme Tue 21-Jan-14 15:19:55

Well firstly, I think you should tell your colleagues to do one.

As for the style in your link, it's hard for me to judge whether or not it would suit you but a decent hairdresser should be able to advise you. Anyway, what's the worst that can happen? If you don't like it, you can grow it back. If you don't try it, you'll always be wondering.

monkeysmama Tue 21-Jan-14 15:19:57

I think you will look great! It is hair - if you don't like it, it will grow!

statisticsthicko Tue 21-Jan-14 15:20:09

Yes I think you would suit short hair but maybe with a bit more length at the front, like this?

statisticsthicko Tue 21-Jan-14 15:23:54

Oh and stuff what the 'men' at work think! There seems to be a certain type of man who only think long hair is feminine which is ridiculous!

mirren3 Tue 21-Jan-14 15:24:10

I really like it too, go for it as it is your hair! If you don't like it when it's done, hey it'll grow. I got my hair cut quite short, and although it was not as long as yours the difference it made was great in both time and ease of care.

mirren3 Tue 21-Jan-14 15:25:35

I like the longer fringe too!

nipersvest Tue 21-Jan-14 15:25:40

i think short hair will suit you, but can i say one thing? i'd go for a style with a longer fringe, like charlize theron

i've had short hair, long hair, bobbed hair etc, its long atm but its only a matter of time before i go short again, i loved mine short, so easy to do.

lookatmybutt Tue 21-Jan-14 15:26:57

I think it will suit you just fine and I rather like it. I also think it will make you look younger.

Some people can be funny about a change in image - I change mine all the time and as long as I'm happy, that's all that matters.

Balls to them, some guys can be a bit funny about women with short hair - I've had that from some exes.

I would say make sure you go somewhere that will style it just like that rather than try to age it up. Fuck that noise. It may come out more bouffant and they also may want to try to 'keep some length'.

Anyhoo, if you don't like it you can always grow it out.

steppemum Tue 21-Jan-14 15:28:13

Isn't there some survey that most men prefer long hair? It is supposed to be more sexy!
But it isn't any of their business. I personally would take my partner's opinion into account, but other than that it isn't anyone's business but yours.
Your current hair is nice, but less stylish than the shorter one

ChablisChic Tue 21-Jan-14 15:28:49

I love it - but then it's very similar to my hair! I went very short in my late 40's but it took a few attempts before I got a style I was happy with. I finally found a lovely, male, hairdresser who I told I didn't want a middle-aged haircut. All the young female stylists I'd tried gave me 'mumsy' styles, so make sure you find a good cutter and impress on them the look you're after!

My husband loves my short hair, and everyone says it suits me (my daughter told me it was very Annie Lennox when I had it done, which is OK in my book!). As long as it suits your face shape it'll be fine, and it's so easy, a quick rough dry in the morning and then a bit of a scrunch through with some putty stuff (not wax, it's too heavy and makes it look greasy).

Go for it!

OuterFromOutersville Tue 21-Jan-14 15:28:55

I cut all of my hair off last year (pixie cut), and I love it. I look heaps better, and I hate not having the ubiquitous ponytail that I'd had forever.

Google short haircuts, select a few that you like, take them to a good hairdresser, and see what they think smile.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Tue 21-Jan-14 15:28:55

Hmm. To be perfectly honest, I think hairstyles like that are very ageing. And hideous to grow out if you don't like it.

Your hair looks better in the second picture where it's slightly shorter though.

kingbeat23 Tue 21-Jan-14 15:30:32

I think you'll look great with short hair and am quite envious as I don't think I do suit it.

However, I agree with pp that I prefer the cuts with longer fringes at the front as I feel they look more on trend, however, that's just personal taste and not in stone as fact!

coffeeslave Tue 21-Jan-14 15:31:01

Despite what the guys at work say, it's not your job to look "fancyable" and sexy to them. Or to anyone, really.

I love having short hair. Do it!

statisticsthicko Tue 21-Jan-14 15:31:58

Yes avoid too bouffant and those awful red highlights that some older women go for, or you risk the 'funky mum' style. I'm not entirely sure about that Charlize very long one sided fringe tbh, I think just a thicker longer fringe than the one in your pic. That's just my opinion though, overall I think the short hair will be a winner!

MissScatterbrain Tue 21-Jan-14 15:37:35

I would go for a hairstyle similar to Anne Hathaway's current style (pixie with long fringe). I agree that the cliche of long bouffant hair in middle aged women can be aging.

I would go for it just to shut up the guys at work but that's me grin

slug Tue 21-Jan-14 15:39:06

Nice to know your colleagues are concerned with your fuckability hmm

The thing about hair is you can rely on it to grow back, unless you are a guy that is. So do what you want with it. Your sex appeal or otherwise should be of no concern to them, and if it is I would be seriously questioning their professionalism.

So sayeth a woman whose hairstyle can be best described as 'skinhead'

Casmama Tue 21-Jan-14 15:40:55

I agree with those suggesting going a bit longer at front/ on top.
I think very short cuts like the ones in your pictures are great if you have dainty little features but might look a bit harsh on you or even worse grannyish.

It looks to me that the model in the pictures has a wave to her hair which works with that cut but if your hair is naturally very straight the it may look very different.

Margene Tue 21-Jan-14 15:42:04

I think you'll look good with short hair, but that style risks being a bit bouffant and mumsy - getting short hair right is very nuanced, I think - it's all in the details. I think these are prettier, younger-looking and more stylish:

Michelle Williams

Longer at the front


Casmama Tue 21-Jan-14 15:43:30

For those objecting to OPs colleagues comments- it appears she did ask for their opinion on a new hair cut so not exactly an exchange of a professional nature.

IDugUpADiamond Tue 21-Jan-14 15:48:40

I'm afraid I agree with FruitSaladIsNotPudding

burnishedsilver Tue 21-Jan-14 15:50:07

Its a lovely style and I think short hair will suit your face. Comments about sex appeal are ridiculous. Hale Berry is far from androgynous!

My only comment, as someone who went for a short cut and then grew it back again, is that short hair isn't as low maintenance as it seems. I grew it back because there was too much work involved in stying it.

Give it a go. Is only hair. It's not permanent.

Cocolepew Tue 21-Jan-14 15:57:13

I have mine cut like the first Michelle Williams photo that at Margene linked to and I'm gorgeous grin.
I would go for a heavier fringe if you haven't had short hair before, its less of a shock, then if you want it shorter, after a few weeks, its easy enough to do.

oscarwilde Tue 21-Jan-14 16:01:46

I agree with Fruitsalad. Sorry sad
I also think that you look really like this actress and should consider going a lovely shiny brunette colour.

What about this , the pic of Cate Blanchett?

DuchessFanny Tue 21-Jan-14 16:02:44

I love the Michelle Williams ones - I had a similar cut but my hair is very dark .. Was so easy to do, felt sexy and feminine .. Am starting to wonder why I grew it out !!
Anyway back to you ! I really like it shorter and think it'll take years off you, but as pp have said, a bit longer in the fringe.

Dillydollydaydream Tue 21-Jan-14 16:08:16

If you've had the same hairstyle for about 25yrs give it a go, hair soon grows anyway if you don't like it but I'm sure you'll love it shorter.

the link doesnt work for me so I cant comment. I have recently had mine cut above my shoulders again and I like it and it takes less time to dry/style it

Fairylea Tue 21-Jan-14 16:20:18

I agree with fruit salad too I'm afraid... sorry!

I also think (dons flameproof suit) that unless you are late teens / early twenties very short hair just isn't sexy in the same way that longer hair is. It's fashionable and can be really striking and classic and all that but I have yet to meet a man who prefers short hair on a woman.

I have had my hair all different lengths from literally a few cm all over when I was 18-21 and then spiky and scruffy and then longer and short again blah blah. I am now 33 and have very long hair, just past my shoulders in waves. I do occasionally get a desire to cut it all off again but I really don't think I could pull it off anymore... I think it would take a lot of make up and wearing funky clothes to stop myself looking my age, whereas with longer hair I just look softer and I can get away with doing less as my overall look is very feminine.

I am rambling. Sorry.

I think your hair looks best in the second photo.

Bexicles Tue 21-Jan-14 16:36:54

I think you have lovely features and could carry off the shorter cut. Although the one time I had my hair cut short I felt awful! just not me? You may feel the same or it may be liberating to not have to style and condition long hair.

CockBollocks Tue 21-Jan-14 16:44:09

OP, what is your hair like? It looks quite like mine. Fine but loads of it.

If that's the case short hair like you have in the pictures actually takes ALOT of styling to look nice and also runs the risk of being 'fluffy'!!

Also have you considered your shape? I look ridiculous with very short hair as I am tall and not rake thin. so my head ends up looking tiny smile

If you like it, do it. It will grow back.

I know bobs are considered mumsy on mumsnet but I have mine like this bob just a little shorter. Very easy to look after with my Babyliss big hair!!

CockBollocks Tue 21-Jan-14 16:46:30

Forgot the front shot!! front

You're very attractive.

But you have 'soft' features and I think that short haircut only looks good on those who are very angular/gamine looking - Annie Lennox has very angular, striking features.

You would need to wear some fairly striking make up to go with it. If you wear the nice but gentle make up you're wearing you could look really middle aged.

We are about the same age with similar hair - if I cut my hairy short like that and didn't bother with make up I'd look er..... butch.

PrimalLass Tue 21-Jan-14 16:51:53

Why don't you try getting shorter in stages?

PrimalLass Tue 21-Jan-14 16:52:14

*getting it cut shorter in stages

JohnCusacksWife Tue 21-Jan-14 16:55:28

Personally I think the particular style you linked to looks very mummy and middle aged. But a short in the back, longer fringed version would look more youthful.

I've had my hair both long and short and like both but I do always feel a bit less sexy with short hair.

furlinedsheepskinjacket Tue 21-Jan-14 17:00:14

op I could have written yr post - I did post on here a few months ago about the same thing.i am your age and I went for won't regret it.
I went for a sienna miller pixie crop - everyone pulled a face when I said what I wanted.i sat in the hairdressers chair and told her to take more off.......... smile. I love it - everyone loves it. it is sooooo easy but it needs trimming after only 8 weeks.
go for it.

furlinedsheepskinjacket Tue 21-Jan-14 17:01:33

oh do go for a longer heavier fringe though - I have mine swept to the side.

ContinentalKat Tue 21-Jan-14 17:02:49

I think you should go for it, but second the longer fringe. The exact cut you have linked to does look mumsy to me, sorry.

Brillenbar Tue 21-Jan-14 17:27:37

I had bobbed hair for ages, and took the plunge and had a pixie cut last year. Husband liked it. Women liked it. Men, however, did not, and I had some pretty offensive comments. I'm a lawyer FFS. But male colleagues seemed to think it was fine to make predictable remarks, particularly along the lines of quips about sexuality.

My children also didn't like it, and oddly, I found that more upsetting. For whatever reason, though (and I'm really not inviting psychoanalysis here), I just did not feel pretty, and that mattered to me. Some women look so pretty with pixie styles. I felt I didn't.

So I am now growing it. It is taking forever....

Thinking of doing the same thing myself. I went from long hair (mid back) length to a bob in October and now I find myself itching to go for a really short chop.

I figure it will always grow again!! Mine is somewhat over processed now I feel (46, so regular highlights as going grey) and I fancy chopping and then comtemplating seeing if it looks ok natural or not!

Go for itsmile

ITCouldBeWorse Tue 21-Jan-14 17:41:57

Tbh (I'm the same age as you) I think you could carry it off your jaw line looks really good, but I don't think it will flatter..

Def time for a change after 25 years, but I am seeking flattering all the way!

eurochick Tue 21-Jan-14 17:45:21

Hmmm. I think the short style you linked could be very ageing and "mumsy" on anyone over about 25. I think the sleeker style in your second picture is lovely. My terribly glamorous 50 yr old step MIL has something very similar and it always looks classy while being fairly low maintenance day to day.

BranchingOut Tue 21-Jan-14 17:49:44

Robin Wright in House of Cards?

hermionepotter Tue 21-Jan-14 17:51:25

I think bear in mind it may be harder to grow your hair back to its current length as easily/quickly in 40s? unless yours grows really quick - ie if you want long hair again if you don't like it, could take years. Also there's a risk of looking mumsy. But then again if you fancy a change and are brave then good for you. If it was me <coward> I'd go for a bit shorter/bit of an update maybe at a new salon etc and see how I feel about that first

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Tue 21-Jan-14 18:02:59

Change of colour could be an idea? Going darker will likely improve the condition too.

FoxyHarlow123 Tue 21-Jan-14 18:12:19

DO NOT cut your hair short. Especially not those 2 styles. You'll look 10 years older in an instant. Stay blonde but have a colour refresh. Have some long layers cut in and get a Babyliss big hair bush. Go all sleek, glossy and swishy. Stop ringing your eyes with black khol and you'll look a million dollars.

Leverette Tue 21-Jan-14 18:22:59

Yes you should ignore what men at work say. Your job is not to be a decorative bauble for them to get sexual pleasure from looking at!!

I think shorter would really suit you but with a long, side swept fringe like the current Charlize style. But whatever you do, do it for you!

Leviticus Tue 21-Jan-14 20:02:17

I think it's got huge potential to go mumsy - sorry.

There was a thread yesterday on here with the title 'who is this?' That I thought of as soon as I saw your (very lovely) photos. It's a link to a photo of Heidi Klum with a really nice below jaw bob. That would look great on you and be pretty easy to achieve.

hettie Tue 21-Jan-14 20:39:09

I think the cut in the photo will be very hard to achieve with your hair. I have had a very similar cut, but I have super thick/wavy hair... And tbh it was only ever ok- it needed quite subtle high and low lights to make it work (all one colour-even natural- made it too blocky ifykwim). Also it required cutting very frequently. I have quite angular features, so mostly pulled it off, but I felt it really dictated my style. Much harder to go our bare faced with (and I am really not a make up fiend) and much harder to be low-key causual- felt like a I had to dress quite cool/sharp when I had that cut as otherwise it descended into blurgh...How about going for a very blunt/edgy bob first? You can always go shorter next. Do you live in London, because if you do I know a fab hairdresser?

GreenRedBlueYellowPurple Tue 21-Jan-14 20:44:50

I'm sorry but I think it won't look nice at all. I think you should do something different. Colour, shape, grow it... Just don't try and attempt your short cut. The woman in the photos on the right has very different features I think.

Laska42 Tue 21-Jan-14 20:46:45

yes yes i have really short hair now and love it , and my face shape is a lot like yours (see profile)

Domus Tue 21-Jan-14 20:56:18

I used to have very similar hair to you and had it cut short like your photo but with a slightly longer fringe about 2 years ago. I'm 43

IMO it's the best thing I ever did. I think it looks much more "done" than my old do, has taken years off and is far far easier to maintain.

Have to say though, it's not universally popular. On the whole women like it but some men really had strong feelings about how awful it was (not DH). Many men it seems conform to the stereotype of preferring long blonde hair regardless of whether it's limp and lifeless or suits you at all (me, not you)

But I love it and that's what counts

Leedsavril Wed 22-Jan-14 09:27:36

Hi everyone, thanks for your support and advice, I appreciate it. I understand that a style is all about opinion and what we want. Anyhow I have just booked the appointment for Monday and I will give it a few days to get feedback and let you all know how I go on. I will get some pics done and show you.

Margene Wed 22-Jan-14 09:29:51

Which style are you going for?!

Feel free to ignore me but......

Those hair cuts are awful. Only the most beautiful and elfin women in the world can get away with those styles.

You have lovely strong features OP (and lovely hair) and imo those haircuts will in no way flatter you. I think it's a one way ticket to a frumpy middle-aged woman look.

I think the Kimberly Wyatt cut linked above is lovely.

To the person saying they've never met a man who prefers short hair, my DH does, which is handy because I wouldn't grow mine long even if he didn't.

As a hairdresser... I don't think the cut you linked to would suit, I agree with the others who have said a longer fringe and more shaping around the face I think the photos you linked to would be too severe on you, but your hairdresser will see you in the flesh and advise accordingly, it is difficult to tell from a photo!

OP - I wouldn't go for such a radical cut. Keep a fringe if possible and just remember that to get that natural touselled look, you may well have to spend just as long faffing and blow-drying you hair every morning, or else risk looking like an extra from "Prisoner Cell Block H" <bitter experience>. Many women 'of a certain age' (mostly 50-somethings) go for this style and without a great deal of care it can look cliched and rather 'Oh fuck it, that'll do' utilitarian hmm.

In defence of the 'funky mum bouffant look with red highlights' however, this tends to be the last resort of women who have hair which is not only rapidly greying but falling out in handfuls and thinning horribly on top. It really is the only way of disguising the worst post-menopausal hair ravages. sad Several of my mates have had no option but to go down this route and believe it or not, they have been given these 'Do's' by very very expensive and skilled hair stylists. Just remember these styles are not as easy-care as they look and can be ruinously expensive to maintain - cut and colour every 3-4 weeks minimum without fail.

discophile Wed 22-Jan-14 09:51:08

Ignore every single opinion apart from your own. Obvs. (Short hair is fabulous. Please ignore that).

OuterFromOutersville Wed 22-Jan-14 10:08:32

I have my very short pixie cut hair cut and coloured every 6 weeks (with a free trim every 3 weeks). It takes a lot less time to maintain every day than my long hair did.

OuterFromOutersville Wed 22-Jan-14 10:09:28

And my hairdresser says that I looked Mumsy before, but fabulous now grin. I luffs him agree.

HelloBoys Wed 22-Jan-14 10:13:01

You could do a longer version first then go for the chop.

then you won't be so disappointed if you don't like the shorter do.

FWIW I think the short cut would look fab on you.

MissScatterbrain Wed 22-Jan-14 15:11:41

Came across this on pinterest - there are loads of pixie cuts on there. I used it when looking for a suitable style for me as I now have a pixie bob after having had long hair for years and I love it. It does require some maintenance but I do feel more put together.

Do come back and tell us how it went on Monday.

I would definitely go for a style that's a bit longer at the front, like statisticsthicko linked to. It's easy to ditch the longer fringe later if you don't like it. I would also definitely go for the chop! I used to have hair right down my back, but it shorter when I had DD1, then with DD2 I went for a pixie cut so I could wash it in 2 minutes by sticking my head under a running tap! I love it short, much easier to look after, quicker to style by far, and I always look like I've got a hair style, whether I make an effort or not.

Margene Mon 27-Jan-14 19:57:56

Did you have it done?! Picture please!

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