Crepes and Mulled Whine in your pants

(1000 Posts)
Auriga Tue 12-Nov-13 23:18:07

Somebody had to do it grin

beachyhead Tue 12-Nov-13 23:20:33

Hooray, I'm here... Idea of Crepes and mulled whine in my pants is not pleasant, but I'm heresmile

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 12-Nov-13 23:21:54

Oh I don't know, a pleasantly damp and squidgy feeling... gringrin

Auriga Tue 12-Nov-13 23:41:09

Feeling more cheerful after finding my missing ring. In a ring box. In the bedside drawer blush <crepe for brains>. Is this how dementia starts? Put something 10 cm from where it usually goes and it may as well be in China.

Cremolafoam Tue 12-Nov-13 23:49:48

Ok I'm here! < brushes crêpe crumbs off party frock>

Dilemma for your consideration .
Dds personal statement for UCAS makes mention of her orphan status as a way of highlighting overcoming life obstacles blah blah blahetc
It kind of swings past it and is reasonably subtle but it's making me squirm a bit and dh thinks she should take it out of the PS.
She definitely hasn't played on it but I dunno - I'd hate it to look that way.( in an x-factor sob story way)
Yet it is truthful and part if who she is.
Help crepeys.
< pours more Mulled Wine>

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 12-Nov-13 23:53:18

I would leave it in if it is reasonably subtle. After all, it's true, and not done in X factor stylee. And as you say, it is part of who she is.

<tops up wine>

wine Cheers!

The Kitten has licked the mince pies. Should I tell DH or let him eat them? (He has been particularly annoying tonight.)

CointreauVersial Tue 12-Nov-13 23:55:11

Keep it in, Crem.

Tis a "personal" statement, and surely says a lot about your DD and what has shaped her life.

Really must go to bed.....I am a terrible night owl, but really ought to be getting more than 5 hours sleep a night. It's not good for me.

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 13-Nov-13 00:10:39

Me too, CV. Night night.

lalsy Wed 13-Nov-13 00:19:39

My instinct is if she wants it in, it should be in, it is true and it is her story - but would just check what her school or college say in case there are strict conventions or something, and whether they will also put it in their reference.

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 06:47:53

Cremo, I have no idea as I have never had to write a PS - I will be coming to you lot for ideas in 3shock years time!

MrsS, I hope you kept schtumwink

Blackduck Wed 13-Nov-13 07:10:33

Leave it in Cremo....

Round of redundancies here.... Fun...

motherinferior Wed 13-Nov-13 08:30:17

Morning all. Crem, I too think if it's part of her overall story, leave it - not least because of the radio etc stuff she has done linked to it.

BD, wot larks, innit. Auriga, I have always been totally unable to find anything that is not In The Right Place. Move it even slightly and panic sets in.

Again, should you see me here, tell me to bog off. I have to do a number of interviews, write today's feature (ocular injections, such fun) and go to DD1's parents' evening...

Blackduck Wed 13-Nov-13 08:42:55

MrsS - don't tell him re mince pies.... what's a bit of cat spit between friends ;)

Round one of the Amazon Christmas shop has begun......

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 13-Nov-13 10:30:35

I have found lots of "bits" for the DDs' stockings on Amazon for around £1 - necklaces, earrings, bracelets etc. Do check if you are using Amazon Marketplace if stuff is being sent from China - I've had a couple of things not turn up at all, and other stuff take over a month to arrive.

I am going to see DD1 this evening and take her out for pizza. She couldn't come home last weekend and won't be able to come home this weekend either, due to an entire weekend of play rehearsals. I think we will descend on her en masse on Saturday night and take her out for dinner to cheer her up. She could have come home this Friday and gone back Saturday, but wants to go to a dorm party on Friday night. I guess you can't have everything!

addle Wed 13-Nov-13 10:49:09

Crem - another vote for keeping it in for all reasons eloquently outlined above. dd had personal (tho less than you are talking of) things in hers and seemed to go fine

Off to see Sharon Shannon tomorrow and Scottsboro Boys on Friday (so that's my culture for the year ...) - anyone any experience of either?

Is it good that she wants to go the dorm party though Mrs S?

herbaceous Wed 13-Nov-13 10:52:51

Hello there crepeys (in or out of pants).

I've just found myself a SALT to shadow, so career change course is now all systems go. Though now I'm getting all cold feet. I'm assuming this is my psyche's typical self-sabotaging bollocks, so am pressing on regardless.

With you on the need for things to be in the Right Place. DP just stuffs things 'away' in random drawers and cupboards, meaning we can never find the sellotape, for example, have to buy more, then end up with 10 rolls of sellotape. He then complains about the clutter.

DS has a speaking part in the school play. He has his lines on a piece of laminated paper, which he reads out to me proudly. Apparently that isn't a problem. It's getting him to 'project' that is the challenge. Or, indeed, not crying and running off at the critical moment.

Oh, and I attended my first PTA meeting yesterday. Was expecting a bit of intro about what it does, etc, but was swept straight into discussions about the Christmas 'fayre' and logistics about Santa's grotto. Must sit on my hands next meeting when they're allocating roles such as chair. Fortunately I can now cite my 'many other voluntary commitments'...

herbaceous Wed 13-Nov-13 10:53:26

Oh and Mrs S - let him eat the cat spit. Git.

Cremolafoam Wed 13-Nov-13 11:41:11

Thanks crepeys ok well leave it in.
MI you are spot on re the Jenni Murray thingy -it does relate to that and makes sense if why she was asked to do that .
Bd I am feeling the draw if the amazon Xmas shop too. struggling to think of things for people though and keep seeing things if like myself.blush

hattymattie Wed 13-Nov-13 11:46:03

Gosh - it's taken me ages to find you lot.

Herbs - go for it - I'm so envious (like I think I already said) don't psych yourself out.

Crem - agree with others - leave it in but in a "matter of fact" way not X factor way.

Stropperella Wed 13-Nov-13 12:05:19

If it's called a personal statement, I guess it is supposed to be about more than just academic achievements. Another late vote for keeping it in, Crem.
I daren't even think about whether dd will get to the stage of needing to write a personal statement.

Herbs, well done on getting the shadowing sorted. It's essential to go and see what it's really all about and surely some doubts at this stage are entirely normal. It's a big change, after all.

I'm currently working on a job about gender mainstreaming which is really interesting.

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 12:17:50

Great news, Herbs, on all fronts!

MrsS, dorm party sound fun - very Enid Blyton!

I am in a whirl of confusion about which laptop to get for DD for Christmas.... A friend has told me about the touchscreen one her DD has, so am looking at them....

Stropperella Wed 13-Nov-13 12:23:58

ps: I just said to dh, "This text is making me realise what a dreadful old sexist you are." (Which he definitely is, but also very good-humoured grin ) He simply smirked and said, "Oh now that's not true; some of my best friends are women."

I have already got ds doing the hoovering, now I am going to teach him how to use the washing machine...

hattymattie Wed 13-Nov-13 13:48:14

My husband has no clue how to use the washing machine. MiL really made me laugh once by laying into FiL when he asked where the Hoover was.

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 14:22:58

Stropps, DH asks me what setting to put the washing on every time(ie once in a blue moon) - we only use one settingangry

herbaceous Wed 13-Nov-13 14:35:46

Crikey. That would boil my piss. DP does his own washing, and bungs in some of DS's clothes too. He irons his own shirts. I do most of the cooking, admittedly.

Stropperella Wed 13-Nov-13 14:38:49

Yes, indeedy, I know dh is not alone, but I am determined that ds will not turn out the same, which is why he (ds) now has to hoover once a week and both dd and he will receive tuition in how to use the washing machine. After all it took them both no time at all to master an assortment of other, less basic, devices. hmm

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 14:39:27

DH's job is to put the washing out to dry and then collect it up to be sorted.

He is getting better (after 17 years!!!) at not crumpling it all onto the radiators (whilst he hangs his shirts on hangers) and then sort-of folding it into a pile for sorting. However he seems incapable of knowing whose socks are whoseconfused

Cremolafoam Wed 13-Nov-13 17:43:35

Aaaargh BTM the crumpling wet washing onto radiators puts me into a decline.
Having said that dh irons.
But he has a mortal fear of the washing machine. Given that its a machine and therefore intrinsically a thing if interest , I can't work out why.

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 17:46:51

Glad it's not just me! DH irons his own shirts. DD and DS don't iron anything (well, DS occasionally irons the odd thing) I only iron my stuff in an emergencygrin

hattymattie Wed 13-Nov-13 18:35:56

BTM - I have trouble with the socks and I am chief sock sorter hmm. I have banned clothes on radators and have bought a dehumidifier after getting a damp bathroom and one of the bedrooms which never gets the sun. I am now and obsessive at monitoring the relatve humidity of each bedroom.

Blackduck Wed 13-Nov-13 18:45:26

Dp, I swear, stands 5 metres away from the clothes horse (and without shaking anything out) throws the laundry at the thing - I am sure he is mentally playing a game in his head. 10 for a direct hit, 5 if it hangs on by a sleeve.....

He can Hoover if nagged regularly and actually does a better job of mopping floors than I do....

lalsy Wed 13-Nov-13 18:54:54

Hatty, how do you monitor humidity? I am getting a bit obsessed with my dehumidifer since I read that if you have doors and windows open when it is on, it tries to dry out the world. This made me feel quite anxious and I am considering asking the rest of my family to move out so I can provide optimum drying conditions. They will keep moving around, breathing and opening doors.

hattymattie Wed 13-Nov-13 19:02:41

grin lalsy - I'm a bit like that at the moment. The relative humidity is shown on the dehumidifier when I switch it on. After much research on the Home and Property threads I found that over 70% can cause mould to grow. The average British(and in my case French) home is usually about 50% to 55%. So I usually aim for 55 - lower than this takes hours. You need to shut the doors and Windows when it's on though. Have I bored everybody yet?

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 19:07:19

I wanted to ban radiators (no probs with humidity, more the ugliness of socks and pants everywhere) and bought a lovely 3-tier drier from Lakeland which DH then vetoed and I had to return itangry

Stropperella Wed 13-Nov-13 19:17:28

In a previous life in a damp, partially subterranean house with no central heating, I had a fearsome warhorse of a dehumidifier. I used to use it to dry the washing. smile It took a while, but it sort of worked. Made a bloody racket, though. In comparison these days I live a life of luxury: central heating, a tumble dryer, a Lakeland drier and a bottle of mould killer. Oh yes.

Stropperella Wed 13-Nov-13 19:19:19

In the previous life, I had a husband who used to do the hoovering. He took his de-humidifier when he left. grin

lalsy Wed 13-Nov-13 19:25:01

Not me Hatty, not me! I'm off to check the dial on mine - I usually just set it to "4" but do remember something about %. Family will just open doors without good reason though. BTM, I don't want to make you jealous but my dehumidifier sits next to my 3-tier Lakeland airer.....

addle Wed 13-Nov-13 19:32:23

have you noticed we are in 'most active'? think it must be the allure of the thread title or perhaps the perennial allure of dehumidifiers

Blackduck Wed 13-Nov-13 19:51:15

Oh the exciting lives we all lead - dehumidifiers, driers, hoovers...... Be still my beating heart ;-)

Cremolafoam Wed 13-Nov-13 19:59:43

Ha! grinat 'most active' it must be the knickers and socks drying over the radiators that has people hookedgrin

Lalsy and Hatty: we are in the big red button club. Ucas form has gone .
< goes to lie down >

motherinferior Wed 13-Nov-13 20:22:33

For various reasons, DP does all our washing. I put it away. Allegedly. (In practice I delegate.)

Hola, Ladies of Pantitude. I have finished today's feature. Tomorrow's editing has not arrived (ha!). DD1's parents' evening went rather well grin apart from a history teacher of stunning dullness. No wonder it's her least favourite subject. I asked her how I could enthuse DD1 about history and she simply didn't understand me: I said what about things like historical novels/museums/etc and she looked blank and suggested various websites. Gah.

hattymattie Wed 13-Nov-13 20:40:41

smile high five Crem.

bigTillyMint Wed 13-Nov-13 20:51:24

That's a shame, MI.
DD had the most inspirational history teacher in Y7/8. He looked like a young OU lecturer from the 70's, but they LOVED him. He left to do air-traffic control, or somethingsad

motherinferior Wed 13-Nov-13 20:55:58

I collared a teacher I happen to know is terrific at history and asked her. She's going to email me.

It's not that I want to coach her or anything. I just want her to understand what fun history can be.

Maths teacher otoh totally took the point about long division and is going to give her a hand grin

Cremolafoam Wed 13-Nov-13 21:29:23

Mi I remember well talking to dds history teacher in year 9 or 10 and she was equally unenthralled by my suggestion that dd might like to 'read around the subject ' and perhaps she could suggest some books about 2nd WW. Teacher just looked at me like I was weird and I don't think she understood what I was saying.
I was thinking ( of course) of interesting books like Charlotte Grey or the boy in the striped pyjamas or that kind of thing to help dd get enthused.
Duh...,--silly me thinking that history wasn't about learning the dates of various military campaigns to pass an exam--

motherinferior Wed 13-Nov-13 21:40:20

FFS, all her other teachers clearly get her enthusiastic. And she confessed she did have an interesting class the other day...but it was with the supply teacher sad.

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 13-Nov-13 23:03:30

DD1 has an uninspiring history teacher at the moment, although it doesn't help that they are doing the ancient Greeks and Romans at the moment, which she did to death in her last two schools. She is very enthused by WW2, which she did a project on in her last term at her last school, and plods around where we live, seeing where the bombs fell, and trots down to the IWM on a Sunday to learn a bit more.

It's quite sad really, to think that someone can make history dull, when it really should be utterly fascinating with very little effort. My history teacher at school stuck on a moustache when he was teaching us about Hitler and the Weimar Republic and made some of us wear yellow stars on our arms. hmm He was quite bonkers but he certainly got results (I let him down by being the only one in the class to get a B in my O level).

I went down to the "Gin and Jag Belt" (as my dear late father used to call it) this evening and took DD1 out for dinner. I had a G & T with Fever Tree tonic and was not impressed - I think it is too flowery for me.

lalsy Wed 13-Nov-13 23:10:53

High five Crem grin

QueenQueenie Wed 13-Nov-13 23:26:32

Nice thread title!

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 09:59:18

I disliked my history teacher intensely and the lessons were very dull, so I didn't even choose it as one of my O level options. Dd wasn't "brave enough" in her essay writing for her history teacher, so she didn't select it as one of her options either. And then after she had chosen her options, her essay writing suddenly got better and she wanted to do it, but wasn't allowed to change her choices.

So, when your offspring have set their heart on following a particular career pathway that you believe is a no-go, what do you do? I am currently trying to encourage dd to get some work experience with a vet, as despite the fact that she struggles a bit with chemistry, she insists that she must do science A levels and aim for vet school. Our vet would be happy to help on the work experience front, but dd needs to take the initiative and apply in writing. (Which may happen, but currently looks somewhat unlikely) She has to choose her A and AS options in January, which seems a bit mad and guaranteed to cause even more stress. We have already had a week of huge despair as she says that she's not interested in doing any of her A* predicted subjects at A level (aside from maths) because they are all "boring" and she can't do anything with them. She has her heart set on vet science or some other kind of sciencey career path as she says everything else is for losers. (like me, as she has pointed out on occasion)

motherinferior Thu 14-Nov-13 10:05:01

Does she actually like animals, Stropps?

(BTW your cheese sauce recommendation saved us after parents' evening as I could put together low-effort supper for offspring barking with starvation.)

I like Fever Tree tonic. Particularly with gin in it, obviously. And the juice of a fresh lime. Though concede it is probably not a yearning I should be having while awaiting some editing that was supposed to arrive two days ago and is allegedly urgent...

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 10:24:53

The cheese sauce is a godsend, isn't it? grin

Yes, she likes animals but she is tends towards weediness when dealing with them (i.e. spent a week frightened of the chickens because one of them pecked her accidentally when she was feeding it hmm ). Can't see her with her hand up a cow's bum. Or dealing with a snarly dog. Or a snarly owner, for that matter. And don't get me started on how she is at dealing with day to day boring husbandry (chickens, dog and fish are all my job and the hamster is currently stinking the entire house out and often wouldn't have any food unless I bought it).
She needs to go and check out the reality of working in a vet's surgery and also, according to the vet, to secure herself work experience at a variety of farms (beef, dairy, sheep etc) and stables (racing and riding). This is all easy to do round here, but she has to pull her finger out and do it. As she still lacks the confidence to do very basic things in life, I can't really see this happening. It's very hard to know what to do for the best. I don't think she actually gets the concept of reality at the moment At All. She's simply not ready for these kinds of decisions.

hattymattie Thu 14-Nov-13 10:36:46

Difficult Stropp's - but she needs a long hard talking to because it's so competitive that if she really wants it she needs to act now and really go for it on the study and work experience front. She could certainly go for the sciency A levels and keep her options open.

If she's scared of chickens I'm not sure it's the right career path!

motherinferior Thu 14-Nov-13 10:40:32

I do suspect a fearless attitude to animals is essential.

Mind you I interviewed a fabulous bloke last week who trained initially as a vet and is now a rather eminent ophthalmologist. Having said that, eyes are revolting.

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 10:49:20

She is in constant need of a long hard talking to on many fronts, but if you try that she just says that her life might as well be over and there's no point in anything. hmm

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 10:50:47

Eyes are indeed revolting. I translated a book about blindness in dogs once. A friend of mine is a consultant eye surgeon and he proofread it for me. He has some great and rather disgusting stories from his work.

QueenQueenie Thu 14-Nov-13 11:06:05

Blimey. All human life is here isn't it.
In no particular order or any claim to completeness...

What is this miraculous cheese sauce of which you speak?

Herbs, well done you for seizing the moment. fingers crossed you enjoy the shadowing.

Eyes are indeed truly yuk.

Stropps, have you researched what dd will actually be likely to need if she's to apply to study to be a vet? Guardian education website (at least I think it's that one) is very good. She needs to be clear what subjects are required and which desirable and likely grade offers etc. I think she may well need help to make a written application to do the work experience. I think lots of teenagers however literate / motivated might need help. They are often afraid of looking foolish if they get it wrong so prefer not to do it at all. It's not necessarily any sign of lack of keeness imo.

Mrs S. I think your error might have ben too much tonic and not enough gin! (Easily remedied at home).

Enjoy your freedom while waiting for the deluge of work MI.

herbaceous Thu 14-Nov-13 11:12:50

I used to find eyes revolting, but have become inured after having to put DS's shell in and out every day. He said the other day that he'd like to be an eye doctor. As well as a waiter and taxi driver.

bigTillyMint Thu 14-Nov-13 11:15:53

Oh Stropps! It's all such a difficult choice - GCSEs...A'levels...uni course. I feel I was blessed that I always knew what I wanted to do (and that it wasn't too much of an academic challenge for me!)
My cousins son would like to to Vet science and did work experience at a vets in the summer - he loved it. Now he has to try to get the grades....

Do any schools offer decent career guidance these days?

herbaceous Thu 14-Nov-13 11:17:44

MI, you'll like this. I'm having to cut down a 4,500-word interview - badly transcribed, with no punctuation – into an 800-word, third-person puff piece. Then cut that to 400 words for the website. Instead, I am prevaricating on here.

QueenQueenie Thu 14-Nov-13 11:21:57

Don't blame you Herbs. I too am posting away on here when there are a number of things I need to be doing...
I realised, too late, after I posted, that it might be rather hurtful to read about people thinking eyes are yuk. Sorry if that was insensitive of me. Good for your ds, that at such a young age he has the ability to turn a very difficult experience into something so positive. I'm impressed.
Now do some work.

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 11:25:59

QQ, ready-made cheese sauce from the supermarket chiller cabinet. Plus a bag of macaroni and a large amount of extra cheese = super-speedy macaronic cheese. For instance. grin

re: quals, she might get in with top grades in Biology, Chemistry and Maths and a shedload of work experience. As she doesn't deign to do very much in the way of work, the school may not let her even do those A levels unless she bucks her ideas up. The vet has said that she definitely needs to make an application in writing to do the work experience. I have said to dd that we will help her with her applications, but she at least needs to make the effort to start on them herself. And that doing her science homework rather than watching hours of lowest common denominator tv might be a good plan.

Herbs, your ds will clearly manage anything he puts his mind to. grin

I too am in between jobs, so I should be doing some house things. And thinking constructive thoughts about Christmas.

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 11:26:52

ps: BTM, in answer to your last question, no, I don't think so. sad

herbaceous Thu 14-Nov-13 11:28:06

It's OK QQ - I wasn't pursing my lips at you or being offended. I just hope DS's career as the UK's leading eye surgeon doesn't interfere with his international concert pianist engagements, or position as general secretary of the UN.

QueenQueenie Thu 14-Nov-13 11:34:45

I didn't think for a moment you were typing with a cat's bum face on Herbs. Clearly ds will manage all those things with aplomb. Now do your work.

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 11:36:31

I'm coming up to London on Saturday for my school reunion and am therefore pleased that my chin has erupted in huge spots. This will mean for sure that everyone will look at me and exclaim, "Oooh, you haven't changed a bit!"

I decided to throw caution to the wind and bring dd and her friend and let them loose on the capital. I hope this will prove to be a good idea. confused

wilbur Thu 14-Nov-13 11:37:10

Stropps - one of my many BILs is an animal behaviourist, he could have been a vet (I imagine he thought about it) but the reality of having to put animals down stopped him. He's an academic and for a long time worked out of Bristol Uni vet school - it's an amazing world, but very competitive, might as well be med school (with fur and feathers). But there are lots of careers in that field that don't require actual vet qualifications, so she could continue with her science, if that's what she wants to do, and then look at the options in a year or so. If you want me to ask BIL anything, I'm happy to.

Oi, MrsS - don't be rude about my home town! And we never had a jag. Lots of gin tho. Did you have dinner in <the town where dd1 is at school> High Street? You may have glimpsed the ghost of my teenage self on the checkout at Waitrose....

Herbs - v exciting about the SALT. And way to go mini herbs on his speaking part. Looking forward to hearing how his projection comes along.

Auriga - glad you found your ring. I recently had to confess to dh that I thought I had lost the ring his mother gave me when we got married as I hadn't seen it since we moved and he looked at me like hmm and produced it, in its box, from the safe. I had no memory whatsoever of putting it in there. blush

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 11:46:00

Wilbur, thank you! When the opportunity presents itself, I will cautiously introduce the idea of careers other than those requiring vet science quals and get her to start having a look (if possible). I may well get back to you on this!

motherinferior Thu 14-Nov-13 11:54:07

Herbs, I too apologise - it's because I write about eyes all the time, have done for about 10 years, and am constantly amazed at all the...bits. And complications.

Report has arrived. Shall crack on. Tell me to crack off if spotted online.

(Am also pondering role of cheese sauce in a quick fish pie.)

QueenQueenie Thu 14-Nov-13 12:02:29

cheese sauce... in your pants? <lowers tone>

Stropperella Thu 14-Nov-13 12:12:24

It works brilliantly in fish pie. With splendid frozen fish pie mix.
'S'all about the nutritious fast food in this house.

Ah, herbs, did I goof? I didn't mean to be insensitive. I apologise.

Sorry also for banging on relentlessly about my dd. I just try so damn hard to move her forward whilst being supportive (have spent years reading up on dealing with teens and trying to consult what experts are available) and the pressure from the school is just immense. The more pressure there is, the less she wants to cooperate and the angrier she gets. Which I do understand, but there seems to be very little option other than going with the system. Which appears merciless. Those who do not conform, for whatever reason, will be ground up and spat out, it seems to me. It's just soul-destroying to watch someone bright, beautiful and funny struggle so much.

Blackduck Thu 14-Nov-13 12:17:09

just touching base....
Can't keep up....

herbaceous Thu 14-Nov-13 12:17:46

Bang on away, stropps. I know I do when I have something on my mind. I'm just sorry I have no useful advice. I did suffer from the inability to actually do anything to further my own life at your DD's age, though. It was paralysing. Almost as if making a small move towards one career would put me immediately into that rut, never to get out of it. Partly because the full weight of parental expectation would be pushing me along.

Cremolafoam Thu 14-Nov-13 12:32:43

Stropps I have a nephew studying veterinary nursing at Sparsholt college in Hampshire. There are a number of vet related courses there and there's an open day this weekend. Might be worth a

bigTillyMint Thu 14-Nov-13 13:10:16

Stropps, it's the same here. As you know!
Time management seems to be an ongoing issue....

hattymattie Thu 14-Nov-13 15:54:54

Feel free to continue banging on Stropps - if we can't vent here where else can we go. I'm always getting told to stop going on about something that's on my mind.

lalsy Thu 14-Nov-13 18:48:28

Stropps, I don't know if this is at all helpful on the practical front, but we have found it is the starting that is the hard bit for which support is needed, for applications. Setting aside a time, and making dd sit in the kitchen with me pottering, telling her just to bung anything down for now, doing just a short session and not mentioning it till the next one (tricky that smile), all helped.

We like Jamie Oliver's quick fish pie, where you add creme fraiche, mustard and grated cheese and veg to raw fish. I've not sold it with that description I don't think...

bigTillyMint Thu 14-Nov-13 19:03:06

Stropps, vent away. Self-sabotaging DD is having a wobble about her CA for French tomorrow (having had one in Spanish last week) and saying she wants to stay home tomorrow/drop a language...
I am being upbeat and encouraging. And going out soongrin

Am liking the sound of your fish pies. Shame the DC don't!

hattymattie Thu 14-Nov-13 19:08:17

Lalsy - I do the JO fish pie but without the creme fraiche - I sort of construct a white/cheesy sause around it - less fat (or so I tell myself). I have also had to take out the carrot owing to protests from the troops - it's not really Jamie Oliver's fish pie anymore is it?hmm

lalsy Thu 14-Nov-13 19:12:13

Yeah, I do the tiniest grated celery ever, it gets disguised in the general gloop (JO - would you like me to copywrite for you, I've clearly got the knack?).

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 14-Nov-13 19:17:21

Lalsy - that is the fish pie I make too. It seems to be the only one that doesn't give you a puddle of fishy water when it's cooked.

Wilbur - yes, in your home town. It is just so smart, it has its own little branch of Space NK. (We thought we were coming up in the world when we got Pizza Express.) We had dinner in Carluccio's. I suspect we could have done better, but the food was fine, the service excellent and the bill not too horrendous. DD1 is tucking into a large Thanksgiving Dinner tonight. As she hasn't been able to come home for two weekends, we are back there en famille this weekend, on Saturday afternoon for a bit of shopping, dinner and then we will go back to London and leave her in the dorm. She hates the dorm at weekends, because there are people there. She is her father's child.

hattymattie Thu 14-Nov-13 19:22:14

Ooh yes - it did originally have celery as wellgrin

bigTillyMint Thu 14-Nov-13 19:27:22

So where does everyone sleep in the week?confused

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 14-Nov-13 19:33:09

In the dorm, BTM! But I guess that they don't see that much of each other, because they are all doing various activities. On a Sunday there are no activities and they just "hang out."

rubyrubyruby Fri 15-Nov-13 05:59:51

I make the Marco Pierre White fish pie - it's delicious.

Oh - hello crepeys smile

Blackduck Fri 15-Nov-13 06:30:25

Blimey crepeys can't keep up.
Stropps sorry things are hard - I was (am) a very pessimistic teen, but I liked learning so did the whole school thing as a hobby - just subsequently made crap choices (I want QQs previous career)

Fish pie - mummmm now there's a thought.

Glad the ring was found and strength to all you UCAS people - god only knows what he system will be by the time ds gets there, let alone Herbs seedling!!

Here I have an interview today and after the redundancies and the fact I am in the eye of a shit storm it is looking mighty attractive!

Happy Friday all - the weekend beckons....

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 06:34:38

Ruby, good to see you! Are you still mad-busy unpacking boxes/buying nice furniture/decorating, etc?

Good Luck BD!

Yes, TGIF - looking forward to tomorrow as DH will be at the rugby all day (he is being pretty grumpy ATM), though the aftermath may not be so prettyhmm

rubyrubyruby Fri 15-Nov-13 07:08:11

Good luck with interview BD!

Yes bTM - mad busy as I've had another promotion at work that I just had to accept
<<looks around at unpacked boxes>>

Blackduck Fri 15-Nov-13 07:26:04

Ruby congrats grin
One more and you'll be running the place!!

hattymattie Fri 15-Nov-13 07:37:57

Good luck BD.

Ruby - well done on the promo.

Marco Pierre White sounds like a posher pie than Jamie's grin

Auriga Fri 15-Nov-13 07:39:37

Yes congratulations Ruby and good luck for the interview BD

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 08:02:53

Oooh, well done Ruby!flowers

beachyhead Fri 15-Nov-13 08:05:30

Good luck today BD and well done Ruby.....

Luckily we have another year before the UCAS button needs to be pressed although I can feel the panic rising already.Lots of 'I don't know what I want to be yet!' at the age of 16!!! and 'I just want to have a happy life and not earn any money'.

I have tried to point out that in any job there are good days and bad days and that you might as well have good days and bad days with money, than without, if possible! Not sure that has helped in any way.

We have four more chickens, super pretty and very timid so far.....

motherinferior Fri 15-Nov-13 08:12:31

Well done and good luck from me too grin

Am editing a report today. It's slightly less well-written than it could be, though of course that is why I am being paid to edit it hmm

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 15-Nov-13 09:01:47

Congratulations Ruby, and good luck, BD!

I have a really shite non-job at the moment. My colleague and I have vented our spleens to BB, who is apparently going to come and speak to me about it today. I hope she agrees with us that it is a non-piece of work, but I think as there is nothing else on the cards (IMO they have hugely over-recruited) we will have to stay on the project and see it through. On Wednesday, the woman I am working to (not BB, someone else) commissioned a long paper from me. I couldn't finish it, as I needed some extra info from her, but apart from this, it was pretty much good to go once I had the info. Yesterday she changed her mind and wanted me to do something different. So that's what I spent yesterday doing. Then at 5.30 (bearing in mind I got in at 0730 for a meeting) she wanted me to do something else entirely different "and get it out tonight so that people can comment first thing in the morning." I said that I would start on it in the morning. She looked surprised. I was only still there at 5.30 because I was waiting for her to email me the info I needed to go in one version of the paper.

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 09:25:22

MrsS, would you recommend a job in your line of work?!

Stropperella Fri 15-Nov-13 10:17:11

Have you had your blood pressure taken lately, MrsS? Mine would be sky-high in your position, I reckon.

Congrats Ruby, you really will be running the show soon!

BD, hope it goes well for you today. Best of luck!

Beachy, congrats on the new birdies! Two of mine still aren't laying - is this normal at this time of year for birds that are (I think) about 8 months old?

I went to an event at dd's school last night which was so patronising that I left sometime before the end. I got home to be shouted at by dd, who had decided to bake rather than do any coursework hmm and had had some kind of messy chocolate disaster and this was apparently my fault. As was the fact that she now was going to have to clear it up. confused I did my bit for peace and harmony by going to circuits. I did get an unprompted apology when I returned, so hey.

Today, dh is throwing bits of crappy work my way that he doesn't want to do himself (he has kept the bits he likes) and pretending he is being really generous. I am going for a brisk dog walk first to get myself in a positive frame of mind before tackling the texts.

herbaceous Fri 15-Nov-13 10:21:09

This is most UNFAIR. I had half a bottle of wine last night, and have a grim hangover. I may as well have necked a bottle of vodka. And I'm off out tonight with the NCT gals, too.

Any advice on this, crepeys? DS seems very scared of his 'speaking' part in the play. He says his teacher keeps telling him to say it loudly, but it makes him 'feel sad', and his voice goes all 'scratchy'. He's obviously nervous and shy about it. And I don't really know how to help. Which is ironic considering my hopefully future career!

Cremolafoam Fri 15-Nov-13 10:41:52

((((((Herbs wee man)))))))
Bless him. I have no idea what you might do for sad fear. Maybe practice shouting the line in funny voices?
Make it less scary and more funny

Rubes- bloomin heck congrats on your meteoric rise! That's fab.

Beachy more chickens !!
are they rescue jobs?

Stropperella Fri 15-Nov-13 10:47:11

Herbs, would asking him to imagine you standing far away at the back of the room, smiling and waving, help? So he might like to imagine you there and knows you would really like to hear him? Or maybe practice singing the lines loudly to a tune of his choice?

herbaceous Fri 15-Nov-13 10:58:08

Strops! That's just what I suggested to him last night, to imagine I'm in the back of the room and want to hear him. To speak the way he does when he shouts what he wants for breakfast down the stairs. Not just loud, but as if he's throwing jewel-like words to the back of the room. Fortunately, he doesn't have to learn it, as he can read from the card. So that's one less thing to worry about!

He does get very self-conscious. In the summer, when I congratulated him for reading out a long sign at the zoo, he told me to stop saying he was good as it made him feel sad. So now I just treat his reading as totally ordinary, and get him to read me the school newsletter from the back of the car.

hattymattie Fri 15-Nov-13 11:46:28

Herbs - don't know what to advise but want to come and give him a hug, he seems such a sweetie. - why does he feel sad when you say he's good? Double hugs (from scary unknown woman).

DD1 has important uni interview in two weeks which she should be preparing for and said she was not going out at weekends and was going to sit and read law books! She took most unkindly when I pointed this out last night when she announced she was going to "hang" with her friends. I said priorities FFS. She says she's stressed. She has no idea.

I have been to the hairdressers and feel completely fabulous. If I was rich I'd have my hair blow dried every week as I can never ever achieve the same result.

herbaceous Fri 15-Nov-13 11:52:19

He is just the sweetest boy on earth. Last night he said he didn't want to watch a DVD before bed, he just wanted to snuggle up with me on the settee. So that's what we did.

I don't want to push him into doing something he's uncomfortable with, but he loves doing 'shows' at home, and think that once he actually does the speaking in the play he'll be so thrilled with himself. Selfishly, I also want him to be picked for next year!

motherinferior Fri 15-Nov-13 11:56:40

Herbs, just to say that DD1 was the shyest of shy things refusing to do anything acting-ish and then suddenly in Y5 stepped forward and did an audition and knocked everyone's socks off, took starring role in Y6 and is now a total drama queen (in more senses than one). DD2 is quite similar that way - even more so, in fact, going from weeping on my lap one Christmas to amazing us all with her performance as a dizzy blonde in last year's show (so unlike my little DM-clad stomper in daily life). So even if he doesn't go for it this year there is time for him to shine grin

beachyhead Fri 15-Nov-13 12:07:47

Stropps, not sure on the chickens not laying, though as a general rule, the posher the chicken, the less it lays. So fancy breeds lay less than the bog standard hybrids..... Bit like schools, the more you pay, the less you get grin

My five weren't laying, but they are three years old, so I figured they were just taking a rest. Also thought I might shock them into laying by introducing four new girls. They aren't rescue, but from the local agricultural suppliers, where you say what you want, a big burly man goes into a shed and comes out with armfuls of birds and puts them in the back of your car....very eventful last weekend!

Herbs, I think the singing thing loudly might work a la Kings Speech.

Mine is a narrator in the Xmas play and has one line - god knows how many narrators there are!

wilbur Fri 15-Nov-13 12:51:19

FWIW - my MIL's chickens (mix of posh and rescue) lay very little in the winter. She says they need longer hours of daylight and once it's dark, they stop producing.

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 12:52:20

Herbs if when he does it, you must video him and post on FB for all us sad F*kers whose own children are too old for school plays. They always bring a tear to my eyeblush

herbaceous Fri 15-Nov-13 12:58:07

I'm welling up thinking about it already. If he does do it, I'll be so proud, and if he doesn't, I'll feel so sorry for him. He managed his starring role as 'second reindeer' in the nursery play last year, so hopefully will get through it.

A career on the stage does beckon. He has the most remarkable capacity for remembering songs and words, has amazing pitch and busts some pretty crazy moves on the dance floor.

Stropperella Fri 15-Nov-13 13:01:17

Last year of school play here, even though ds is only 8. He will be moving to middle school next year where they don't have time for such frivolities, apparently. He auditioned yesterday for a part. He had to learn a poem of his choice off by heart. I think he will hear today whether he has been at all successful.

ps: Herbs, I fear you might be mistaken: it's actually me that has the sweetest boy in the world grin - though not for all that much longer, I suspect...

herbaceous Fri 15-Nov-13 13:14:04

< dons boxing gloves >

CointreauVersial Fri 15-Nov-13 13:23:01

Profilic posting, ladies, I can't keep up.

Re: school plays - DD2 (who is loud and bolshy) is very peculiar about plays and suchlike. She is a perfectly confident performer as long as nobody looks at her. I am always under strict instructions to (a) sit at the back, (b) engage in no eye contact whatsoever, and (c) not comment/compliment/encourage in any way. I disobeyed these instructions once, while she was doing a Christmas Carol performance, and she stormed off the stage in tears. Last year, she deliberately positioned herself behind the piano, so I could just about see the top of her head. grin Strangely, she is always happy to take part.

DD1 has no qualms about performing, and doesn't care who's watching. She's currently mid-way through the school play (2 performances down, 3 to go). Although she memorably refused to go on stage in the Year 1 nativity, because her "trousers weren't right". DH was thrilled, having taken the day off.

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 15:20:36

DD was always totally embarrassed to be on stage when she was small (visions of her with her thumb in her mouth) despite being very bubbly and confident, although she did manage a lovely performance as a 30's style singer/dancer in her leavers show.
She would never dream of doing any production in secondary school, but she took drama as a GCSEconfused

motherinferior Fri 15-Nov-13 18:50:24


DD1 is in a major strop. A real weeping despair of a strop because
(a) she has Homework to do and no idea when to do it because I have taken up a theatre ticket offer for tomorrow afternoon and we are seeing my parents on Sunday so obviously that leaves her no time at all
(b) I didn't consult her about the ticket (she is the one who wants to see more drama ffs, and I want to go!)
(c) I accidentally called her by her sister's name
(d) I never, ever, help her with her homework
(e) I am the only parent in the world who gets their children's names confused and obviously this is the worst act any parent can ever commit.

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 18:55:19

Normal teenage behaviour! Have a wine and tell her to calm downwink

Stropperella Fri 15-Nov-13 19:03:52

Yup, I second BTM. Normal teenage behaviour. Unfortunately. I very rarely help with any homework - only occasionally with MFL, if I'm asked. But I have hardly ever been asked.

I regularly call ds by the dog's name. And vice versa.

QueenQueenie Fri 15-Nov-13 19:08:24

Apologise profusely (even if you don't mean it). Have a large gin / glass of wine / cake / all three (according to choice). Ask her what she would like you to do to help. Tell her she doesn't have to come to theatre if she doesn't want toand go with a friend. When she's calmed down tell her not to be so stroppy and that the way to get people to help you isn't by shouting at them... <and repeat until she leaves home>

motherinferior Fri 15-Nov-13 19:10:53

Have apologised, attempted to sort her homework into priorities, and will hit the gin when I've finished the editing.

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 20:06:26

Same here, Stropps - DD doesn't want any help, other than listening to her recite her CA's for MFL!
DS, on the other hand, is very needy on the homework frontconfused

Gin sounds good!

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 15-Nov-13 20:26:25

DD1 went from a child who wouldn't make eye contact with anyone in circle time (lest she be asked to say anything!) in Yr 6 to confidently addressing a group of 400 lower and middle school parents on what she had been doing in the art department, complete with powerpoint presentation (my lower lip was wobbling) in Yr 8. She adores drama, and has a major part in the school play - the only Yr 10 who has - next week.

DD2, who is a complete extrovert, won't do anything on the stage at all unless she can be hidden in the chorus at the back, where no-one can see her and she doesn't have to say anything.

I just want to squish your sweet boy, Herbs, and I really don't like children. grin

I call mine Large Child and Slightly Less Large Child. grin

motherinferior Fri 15-Nov-13 20:26:55

It's her homework, ffs. I already have two degrees. I don't need to do homework.

And I still haven't finished that report sad

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 15-Nov-13 20:28:50

My excuse for not helping with homework is that I am Largely Uneducated. Unfortunately it doesn't work with French.

Auriga Fri 15-Nov-13 21:01:20

DD is used to being called by the dog's name. She especially hates it when we're walking along, she's in a daydream, and I shout 'DD!!' making her jump a foot in the air, when it's ddog who has done something unspeakable. DH then compounds the offence by ostentatiously counting her legs grin

My friend's Mum used to work through the list of her kids, so he swears he thought his name was Joseph-Rory-Patrick-Bridie-Michael till he was about 15.

My DM did the same, so the poor dog got called 'child1name child2name child3name child4name dogname' her whole life.

bigTillyMint Fri 15-Nov-13 21:37:25

My DS and DH get called by each others names all the time by me. My excuse is that they are two peas in a pod!

wilbur Fri 15-Nov-13 23:00:02

I had an entire conversation with dd yesterday, thinking she was ds2. In my defence, I was driving and looking at the road, not the child, and I had been swapping kids in and out of the car all day, and I forgot which one I had. She only sighed and grunted her responses, so how was I to know? We only twigged when I asked her if she was looking forward to her cross country tournament and she went shock as she doesn't do running.

Blackduck Sat 16-Nov-13 07:23:10

I am not at this stage yet (caveat to what is to follow) one parent I know who is having the homework traumas offers to help once, and once only on the basis they will be the ones who get into trouble and this way they will learn..... (It appears to have worked thus far)

Blackduck Sat 16-Nov-13 07:24:55

The second they being the child in case that's not clear! I think its a but in line with MIs I don't need to do homework - I have two degrees (do you? What in??). I guess I could just say I'm a Dr so flipping get in with it!

motherinferior Sat 16-Nov-13 12:31:29

Oh, not proper degrees: an MA on top of my first one (but a proper written MA, not one of yer freebies).

Have sent off edit. V nervous as last time I did some editing I was comprehensively told off for getting it horribly wrong.

motherinferior Sat 16-Nov-13 13:40:28

Also: The Unbearable Lightness of Being In Your Pantsgrin

Blackduck Sat 16-Nov-13 14:35:14

I am bit shell shocked, bastard cancer is back for dp's sister. She had breast cancer 2/3 years ago (same time as my best friend), but appeared to be in the clear. Secondaries in lung/sternum.... Chemo ... Crap crap crap....

motherinferior Sat 16-Nov-13 16:16:28

Oh no. No.

Auriga Sat 16-Nov-13 16:30:19

Very sorry to hear that, BD.

CointreauVersial Sat 16-Nov-13 17:38:52

BD sad that's awful. Does she have a family?

bigTillyMint Sat 16-Nov-13 17:46:13

Oh how sad, BDsad

Blackduck Sat 16-Nov-13 18:18:18

She has two children - one is 16, the other 13. At the moment I have no idea exactly what we are dealing with, but it certainly puts things into perspective.
She seemed to have recovered so well.

wilbur Sat 16-Nov-13 18:19:36

So very sorry to hear that BD, what a terrible path to be on. sad Hope she has support with it all?

Quiet day here, nice after a busy week. Have finished 3 sets of curtains and made muffins. DD and I are planning to go shopping tomorrow (only down the road) which is exciting, as we never do that kind of thing. I have also bought fleece tights from JL for my freezing pins.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 16-Nov-13 22:29:22

BD - how awful. No words, really.

We were back in Cobham tonight, taking DD1 out for dinner. She seems to be involved in every committee and spare time activity going. Had pizza, came home.

Stropperella Sat 16-Nov-13 23:24:31

BD, I'm really sorry to hear about your SIL. That's grim. :-(

I am just back from my school reunion. Firstly, dd and friend (currently having a sleepover which may involve actual sleep as they are so knackered) had a ball by themselves in Convent Garden and were super sensible (apart from spending all their money :-) ) and turned up at the appointed meeting place exactly on time. Yay dd, more like that, please. :-)
Secondly, the reunion was fun. With the trauma of totally hating my sixth form boarding experience, I had totally forgotten what nice people I was at school with before then. grin We had so much to talk about, laughed loads and are already planning the next meetup for those that couldn't come this time (am mighty impressed by the person that couldn't come because she has a 2 yr old, a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old - good going at 48). Everyone was completely bemused by my hair, mind you, as I had barely wavy and extremely (naturally) blond hair back in those days. I have lots of new FB friends, we're all planning another meetup soon for those that couldn't come this time. I had <ahem> slightly forgotten how badly behaved we were. Dd said "But if I came home and said our class had locked the music teacher in the cupboard for the whole lesson, how much trouble would I be in?" grin

Blackduck Sun 17-Nov-13 07:01:20

Stropps sounds like a ball!! And fab on DD.

It is crap - waiting for dp to come home (was working yesterday) to find out more. Dp's parents have cancelled their holiday and I guess it's working when, what and if to tell the children.

I have a mega shopping basket on amazon whic covers off ds...

bigTillyMint Sun 17-Nov-13 07:39:41

Stropps sounds like you had a brilliant time - woo hoo! And your DD and her mate. Maybe you can use the carrot of another trip to London in the not too distant futurewink

I had a lovely evening last night with DS, DD and her mate - we went to the chippy and ate watching Dirty Dancinggrin Then DH staggered in after a day at the rugby and we all had a good laugh at him!

BD, big hugs {{{}}}

Stropperella Sun 17-Nov-13 09:33:00

BD, hugs from me too.

BTM, sounds like a good time was had by all.

I've realised that going to the school reunion has done me a power of good. It has helped me to remember all the positive things about my early secondary education that I had perhaps chosen to forget for various reasons and also I have started to reinterpret some of the things that happened in a more philosophical and positive way than has previously been the case.
For instance, the school might have been a sad little run-down rural grammar school, but some of the staff were passionate about their subject and really good at teaching it. And the fact that the school was one of the few state boarding schools meant that there was a far wider range of people there than at some of the other local schools. I heard some amazing stories yesterday and was illogically proud of everyone. I still have a case of the warm fuzzies today. grin

bigTillyMint Sun 17-Nov-13 09:48:55

Stropps, so pleased to hear your reunion was so successfulsmile

I am going to have about 2 hours to myself shortly - DH and DS have gone off to footy and DD and her mate are off shopping soonishsmile
I am going to have to go through the stuff I have bought for Christmas and do other jobs.....

motherinferior Sun 17-Nov-13 16:30:46

I have survived lunch with my parents.

And have still done nothing about Christmas though we have embarked on the usual arguments about when we go where grin

bigTillyMint Sun 17-Nov-13 17:55:55

Well done, MI!
We, happily spend Christmas as a family/with friends, which is perfect. We just have to fit in seeing the inlaws either before or after...

I have had quite a relaxing day, including a catch-up with a friend. Although I had a practice at making a gingerbread house using the Lakeland cutters (have only ever stuck together the pre-made Ikea ones before) and produced a load of teeth-breaking, slightly burned gingerbread that could only be eaten dunked in tea! Think I need to do another practice!

5 weeks to Christmaswink

lalsy Sun 17-Nov-13 17:59:11

Blackduck, what dreadful news, I am so sorry.

Mostly dull weekend here. For anyone waiting breathlessly for my slipper decision, I am thinking of these, not least because they are made in my favourite place smile.

wilbur Sun 17-Nov-13 19:03:45

I'm off to Birmingham early tomorrow - big work meeting at the Uni and I'm quite stressed about all the arrangements, which I have made and which, if they go wrong, will mean 12 people all turning to look at me accusingly. My boss, who is generally lovely, has been mega worried about the whole enterprise for the last 6 weeks, which doesn't help. Roll on tomorrow evening.

Lalsy, those slippers look very cosy, I like the black ones. I often buy slippers in Wales, on the way back from where we stay on the coast there's a sheepskin warehouse with all manner of warm things to buy. They last for ages.

Stropps, glad the reunion was such a positive thing smile. Sounds like a real rediscovery.

Blackduck Sun 17-Nov-13 19:04:52

My god those dressing gowns are lush (and expensive...)

Well it's 8 doses of chemo over the next 6 months. We know no more at the moment. I am trying to think that as the course is quite spread out it's not as serious (IYKWIM) as it could be? I just find it hard - this happened to my BF and she was not do lucky.

Blackduck Sun 17-Nov-13 19:05:39

Oh wilbur ay Brum Uni? (The enemy ;) )

wilbur Sun 17-Nov-13 19:38:00

BD grin. We're looking at some of their special research collections at the uni library. It will be very interesting, once I stop fretting about taxis not turning up, losing people en route, or not having enough sandwiches.

motherinferior Sun 17-Nov-13 19:56:42

Oh, Wilbur, how nerve wracking. I feel your pain.

I have a 9am meeting. I may or may not have a meeting after that. I quite wish I knew. And indeed knew what to wear....

bigTillyMint Sun 17-Nov-13 20:24:20

Wilbur, that is what my BFF does for her jobgrin It is indeed, a very stressful job!

MI, what about a nice sweater dress and boots?

lalsy Mon 18-Nov-13 12:51:40

I don't think those dressing gowns would be any good for making cups of tea or washing up in as the sleeves would stay damp for ages. At that price perhaps they come with a butler.

Hope all nasty work situations panned out today. I had horrid work day last week and instead of pouring stiff gin and watching tv I decided to point out all my dc failings to them. Not a good plan.

herbaceous Mon 18-Nov-13 12:55:04

I love those dressing gowns. My winter one is a felty fleece one, decorated with beads, bought in Knickerbox many years ago. It's all huge and snuggly. It also, sadly, looks like a dog's blanket. DP hates it. But until I find a suitable replacement – ie full-length, made of something other than towelling or slimey fleece – I shall keep it firmly wrapped about me.

I directed DP towards a silk one in the Toast sale (as birthday rapidly approaching), but not entirely sure he got it.

motherinferior Mon 18-Nov-13 13:43:07

When you say 'directed', Herbs, do you mean 'forwarded the link with the suggestion "click on this"'? Which might work grin

I am indeed wearing sweater dress and boots. Also stopped in M&S to buy Warm Socks, which are bringing me a considerable amount of bliss. I should perhaps point out this is not merely age-related. I have always enjoyed what you might call an enthusiastic socks life.

herbaceous Mon 18-Nov-13 13:55:16

< When you say 'directed', Herbs, do you mean 'forwarded the link with the suggestion "click on this"'? >

Exactly my procedure, MI. He claimed it crashed his computer. It was also £170, which may have crashed his wallet.

'Enthusiastic socks life'. Chortle. I have been getting much extremity-related joy from my thermal tights. And my fleece-lined ones. And have discovered that Uniqlo is doing a new range of 'urban fleece', which I may have to buy up.

bigTillyMint Mon 18-Nov-13 14:43:41

urban fleece??? <off to google>

Stropperella Mon 18-Nov-13 15:26:34

Mmm, I am a bit unconvinced by the Uniqlo fleeces. It was not so long ago when some of the senior S&B mavens informed me that the worst things I could be wearing were bootcut jeans, mum boots and a fleece. Being a suggestible person, I immediately <ahem> stopped wearing all of these. The Uniqlo fleeces don't look much different from some of the fleeces I see on very non-urban persons round here. And some of their patterns make me eyes go funny. I've got a bit of an Emperor's New Clothes feeling about them.
Somewhat against my better judgement, I purchased one of their striped polo neck t-shirts recently. It has very 70s orange and brown stripes. I have worn it a number of times, but am still not really sure whether it is a good idea or not. However, I do have some lovely, lovely cords from there (supposed to be ankle-grazers but are normal length on me) that are just splendiferous in every way.

Stropperella Mon 18-Nov-13 15:28:03

I have some Scandi proper wool socks and they are my bffs. grin

motherinferior Mon 18-Nov-13 15:54:42

Stropps envy

DD1 has some faaaabulous new 200-denier tights, bought obviously from that well-known style emporium Sainsbury's (on Saturday when I was out being Cultured and they were nipping to PC World and nearby shoppes). Admittedly she needs them for school but I am combusting with envy.

herbaceous Mon 18-Nov-13 17:23:19

Strips, tis true that you have to be v selective at uniqlo, and that a lot of the fleeces are frumptastic. But the new 'urban' ones looka little bit edgy.

herbaceous Mon 18-Nov-13 17:24:23

Strips? I mean of course stropps. Good old autocorrect.

bigTillyMint Mon 18-Nov-13 18:01:15

MI, 200denier? I didn't know they existed!

In S&B news, I have just received a new purchase for my friends 50th - this dress which I got for £45 with some discount codes!

motherinferior Mon 18-Nov-13 18:41:44

Oh that is nice, BTM.

Blackduck Mon 18-Nov-13 18:48:18

Wilbur hope the day went well!
I am trying to curtail purchases what with Christmas and Mexico (did. I mention I am going to Mexico ;-) ) and all that.... But have (after you lot going on about them) asked for boot slippers....

Stropperella Mon 18-Nov-13 19:02:42

Lovely dress, BTM.

I fear the dog has something very nasty wrong with him and will probably require another operation. The total vet bill for this year must now be nearing £700. Poor little hound, he's not even that old, he's just unlucky. I shelled out £40 last week for what the vet said was probably an infected insect bite. I think she was wrong and it's a skin tumour (he's had about 6 ops for lumps and bumps already). Back to the surgery tomorrow. sad

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 18-Nov-13 19:47:21

Poor doggy, Stropps. And poor you and your bank balance. sad

I am very bored at work, but I think my boss is going to ask for me to be removed from this project. This will only be a short term fix though - they have massively over-recruited and there is really not enough work for everyone.

bigTillyMint Mon 18-Nov-13 20:02:22

Oh dear Stroppssad

What are you doing to fill your day, MrsS?

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 18-Nov-13 20:02:34

I have been proof reading my Latvian friend's novel. I had to admit to her that I thought there probably wasn't much of a market in UK for a book about the run up to Latvia joining the EU. She took it quite well. (And she did ask.)

bigTillyMint Mon 18-Nov-13 20:03:24


beachyhead Mon 18-Nov-13 20:21:53

Like that dress, BTM.....

Just to let you know, I've made our willsgringrinthanks Crepeys!

motherinferior Mon 18-Nov-13 20:47:12

BTW are we meant to have a pre-Christmas pissup genteel evening meeting for a small sherry or two? If not why not?

QueenQueenie Mon 18-Nov-13 21:29:44

Did someone mention sherry? The very idea of sherry perks me up no end... <am meant to be writing a presentation on something incomprehensible>

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 18-Nov-13 21:38:30

God I am not drinking at the moment and miss it desperately (enforced through long course of Flagyl). There is half a bottle of Chablis winking at me from the fridge door <cries>. So that would be a yes to the piss up. Or even a schooner of sherry or a port and lemon at the local.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 18-Nov-13 21:45:21

I have just thought... the Mockingjay (from Hunger Games) and his cheery little whistle - all I can think of is Simon Bates "Our Tune." grin

Stropperella Mon 18-Nov-13 22:36:01

Beachy, well done on the will front!
Chicken update: chook 3 has finally started laying. Woohoo! How are your new ladies doing?

bigTillyMint Tue 19-Nov-13 11:12:59

Pre-Christmas drinks would be lovely - didn't BD have a date?
Are you still able to make it BD, with all that is going on? And what was the date?!

herbaceous Tue 19-Nov-13 14:14:28

Pre-Christmas drinks a grand idea. As long as I can fit it in between buggering committee commitments. As well as becoming the chair of the local park friends' group, I've also got myself landed with organising all the games at the PTA's Christmas fair (I only went to the meeting to see what it's all about), and the publicity for our choir's Christmas concert. And working three days a week. And volunteering half a day a week. Error.

On the plus side, my mum's getting me a Woolovers Guernsey (as recommended by CV) for my birthday.

But the cat's been sick under the desk.

wilbur Tue 19-Nov-13 15:13:41

Herbs - that sounds like a workload. I am PTA rep for ds2's class this year, forgot how much I loathe the politics of the playground (and tbh am not very sympathetic about dealing with it) and also stealth boasting from other parents which has got quite shock recently. If your kid has done something fabulous, say they are fabulous and you are very proud and happy, but don't put on a sad and tell me what a bind it is having to devote so much time to Grade 7 violin that it has really sidelined their Mandarin. Still, I am working on feeling smugly more evolved insofar as my dcs ARE actually the most wonderful of all, but I feel no need to brag about it. I'm not doing any more committees - I will bake cakes, man stalls and donate booze.

I made it through yesterday, despite on of the people I was herding having a ill turn on the train. Meeting went well, and was all very interesting. I was utterly knackered when I got home though, fell asleep on the sofa at 8.30.

I'm up for drinkies ahead of Xmas - just depending on date. I know 4th, 11th, and 15th Dec are already taken with school stuff, but what are other people's schedules like?

motherinferior Tue 19-Nov-13 15:29:28

I am inclined to suggest 25 December grin

bigTillyMint Tue 19-Nov-13 15:33:52

Herbs, you need to STFU at meetingsgrin

Well done wilburflowers

Stropperella Tue 19-Nov-13 16:25:52

I have managed to avoid all committees to do with pre-schools and schools, mainly because I often work in the evenings and am too crabby to be on any sort of committee anyway. Although years ago a friend did plead with me to try and join her as a governor because she said I would say no to lots of things everyone else cravenly said yes to. grin Am famously grumpy and antisocial at the school gate, so I doubt anyone would have voted for me, even if I had put myself forward. grin

Wilbur, sounds like yesterday was a resounding success!

beachyhead Tue 19-Nov-13 17:53:37

I'm only coming if we drink Mulled W(h)ine in our Pants gringrin preferably indoors!

If before Christmas is a nightmare to organise, I quite like a January pick me up!

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 19-Nov-13 18:10:28

We went here for DH's birthday. Not cocktails but lots of beer and sausages!

bigTillyMint Tue 19-Nov-13 18:25:45

MrsS. your link has been blocked by our router - what kind of a place is it?grin

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 19-Nov-13 18:45:07

Blimey - it's a German beer drinking place at Aldwych!

motherinferior Tue 19-Nov-13 18:51:55

Wil-BURR, I need your help - am doing a listings page, need theatre suggestions, can't find your email...could you ping me over an email per-lease?


bigTillyMint Tue 19-Nov-13 19:14:07

Its still blocked under the "alcohol and drugs" category! Will have to look at workwink

wilbur Tue 19-Nov-13 19:19:35

MI - have emailed.

Dh is out tonight and I have the remote control to myself. I am sadly excited about this.

Stropperella Tue 19-Nov-13 19:22:07

That's some serious filtering you have going on there, BTM. smile
MrsS, dh would like to go there for his next birthday. grin

bigTillyMint Tue 19-Nov-13 20:01:58

hmm I'm not sure it works all that well as some stuff gets through and some doesn'tconfused

Wilbur, I have sent all mine upstairs to watch the footywink

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 19-Nov-13 20:26:17

The lump on my gum (for which I am on my second lot of antibiotics) keeps going up and down. Earlier I thought "Oh good, it's going down." But it seems to have come back up again. I am going to have to have the bloody thing out, aren't I, and look like Baba Yaga. sad

I really, really hate my new job.

Stropperella Tue 19-Nov-13 22:11:10

The going up and down lump does not sound good, MrsS. I'd go for having the damn thing out, if I were you.

Sorry to hear about the job too. sad

Auriga Tue 19-Nov-13 23:32:29

QQ, lovely to bump in to you at The Place Where I Bumped In To You! How was your presentation?
I am not home yet, but not far off.

Herbs grin @ jumper/cat-sick juxtaposition. <muses on message about the joys and sorrows of life> <is reminded of Alan Bennet>

Blackduck Wed 20-Nov-13 01:53:44

Hi all, I was originally suggesting next Wednesday evening, but dp has put the kibosh on that by being late home so I have to collect ds, the alternative might be next Thursday (28th) as I could stay down overnight. I know this maybe way too short notice. December is out for me - but most definitely would be up for Jan (certain significant B'day)

Sorry to hear about the job MrsS - I haven't heard re Friday so assuming a no.

motherinferior Wed 20-Nov-13 09:09:37

I can't do Thursdays as sing. Though obviously this does not preclude the rest of you dancing on tables till the small hours. Jan does look good too though.

QueenQueenie Wed 20-Nov-13 10:08:18

A vote for Jan when everything feels a bit grim often... or both!

Auriga, what a lovely surprise to bump into you yesterday. It was like when two worlds collide (in a nice way)! It was so unexpected to see a friendly face there that I seem to remember giving you a hug in greeting - hope that felt OK.
My thing went quite well or certainly better than I had feared. I think you were in an adjacent room on the first floor? If so I can report hearing both laughter and clapping which has got to be a sign of success wink

<Auriga and I were both rather surprisingly giving presentations at the same institution yesterday evening... mine rather lowly, hers much less so, and met in the reception area>

bigTillyMint Wed 20-Nov-13 10:24:26

I could probably do next Thurs. Jan sounds good toowink

Small world!

MrsS, sorry about your tooth. And job - bummer.

Stropperella Wed 20-Nov-13 10:38:31

I don't think I can manage any dates before Christmas now, but January is a definite possibility.

I have just received a large and somewhat complicated job and will be busy-busy for the next month. It is also very much my subject area, but I am still having to to a shedload of background reading to get up to speed before I start on the actual job. Am rather pleased. grin

wilbur Wed 20-Nov-13 10:59:32

Another vote for Jan here too as December is looking packed with lovely things already smile which will no doubt require a logistical spreadsheet... Dd, excitingly, has been invited to a Christmas disco At A Hotel for her whole Y6 year and even has a new sparkly frock courtesy of Granny to wear. I ordered a selection of party dresses from JL for her to try and she looked so adorable in them all, I felt bad that we rarely have a chance for her to dress up. She is more Pippi Longstocking than Pippa Middleton, which is mainly an excellent thing, but sometimes a bit of S&B does the soul good.

Talk of S&B - I finally got around to exploring the La Roche Posay range that MrsS and MI have been banging on about since this coven began, and my my, what a delight. I have bought the Creme Hydreane and it's marvellous. I worried it might be too light for my dryness, but no, it is perfect, no oily bits and no dry patches at the end of the day either. I have also bought a Retin-A serum which probably takes a while to work, but so far it's nice to use and doesn't sting in any way.

Stropps - great news about interesting work and being busy.

MrsS - sorry work is so pants. There's a very badly paid part time job share possibly going on at my office if you want a real change of pace grin... and you could talk about Brecht all day. Am off to see ARTURO UI for myself tonight, really looking forward to it.

bigTillyMint Wed 20-Nov-13 11:11:12

Ooh, good news on the job-front, Stropps!

And how lovely for your DD, wilbur!

I am looking forward to going to The Shard for a friends 50th on Fridaysmile

motherinferior Wed 20-Nov-13 11:38:41

Today I am writing about a mix of Botox and gardens grin. Not together.

Wilbur, any suggestions on theatre to feature, do let me know.

My own little Y6 has branched out beyond the boys' H&M range into patent DM boots and a black jumper (H&M girls) which has sparkly skulls on it....

herbaceous Wed 20-Nov-13 13:21:23

I can't do 28th, I'm afraid, as DP is out. January sounds good to me - it's always so bleak, and a crepey piss up would be just the ticket.

I've just done my first SALT volunteering work - mainly just preparing resources - but got more of an idea what goes on for an SLT. Not put off. Now have to cut down my 800 word feature to 400. It was previously 5,000...

CointreauVersial Wed 20-Nov-13 13:27:52

Herbs - how can you have been sucked into the PTA when your little darling has barely got his kness under a desk?! [facepalm] You fool. I am now committee-free, having offloaded the footy job, and I thank my lucky stars.

And I do hope your Guernsey is OK, although I feel the weight of responsibility if it isn't....

YY to January get-together. December is filling up all too quickly.

herbaceous Wed 20-Nov-13 13:37:28

I know, CV. I'm a dick. It's partly because I wanted to make sure his site didn't get left out of school decisions. But I just meant to see what it was all about... The first meeting last week had about 20 people, so I thought I was safe from having to do anything. The second one, this week, had about seven. Because no-one was told about it.

Someone said, re Christmas Fair, 'I think we should have someone in charge of each section,' and I made the mistake of agreeing. Before I knew it I was in charge of the games bit. I am not the right person. I don't know who to ask to help paint me a giant Santa with a hole to throw balls through, or where the archery set they used last year might be stored, or who the bloody hell Mr XX is who can help decorate the arsing card games, or where he is. FFS.

Then I discovered that no-one's told the teachers that this event is on, so they're not making anything for it and people are going on holiday. GNNNN.

I have to get on this SALT course so I can legitimately say I'm too busy, along with all the other shirking gits.

bigTillyMint Wed 20-Nov-13 13:57:39

Herbs, PTA meetings are notoriously poorly attended. A small pool of worthy (usually) mums get to organise and do everythingwink
You definitely need to get on that course!

Stropperella Wed 20-Nov-13 14:23:22

<wipes crumbs off front of "Shirking Git" t-shirt>

herbaceous Wed 20-Nov-13 14:23:34

And it's so badly organised! There's no central list of people who do face-painting, etc, just half-remembered 'Frank's mum' kind of stuff. No email list, or anything. I'm itching to take it in hand but MUST NOT.

bigTillyMint Wed 20-Nov-13 14:30:21

Herbs, IMHE, that's par for the course! Although when my extremely well-organised pal was involved, a lot of the stuff got documented and put on spread-sheets, etc.

One of the best things about the DC's secondary school is no PTAsmile

motherinferior Wed 20-Nov-13 15:00:52

I thought your school famously Got Parents Involved, BTM? According to my mate wot has kids there and who taught yours-

We have a new PTA. I am the comms person. Though this just means banging out the odd press release. There are some Very Efficient Parents at DD1's school wink

bigTillyMint Wed 20-Nov-13 15:25:58

Well, not AFAIK, but maybe I'm missing something! There is the forum occasionally and millions of music events, but no money-raising stuff!

Auriga Wed 20-Nov-13 20:01:33

It's sounding more and more like a January meet, isn't it? I can't do 28 Nov either. Would be nice to have a January treat in the diary.

QQ I was glad of the hug! Seems we both had a successful evening smile

Have barely seen DD despite being on study leave. She lives in her attic, emerging only to pick at meals. Seems cheerful though.

Less than 72 hrs to (bigger than usual) talk.

lalsy Wed 20-Nov-13 20:10:48

Lack of central lists - almost defines PTAs I think (apart from our current one, where I have seem to have finally managed to get on the list of Parents Who Cannot Be Trusted With Christmas Decorations, hurrah, after two consecutive years in which kindly grown ups had to quietly redo my efforts once I had gone).

Cremolafoam Wed 20-Nov-13 21:15:05

Oh not the PiTA herbs. !! I learnt my lesson at dds primary end of term BBQ . Or The Burger Débâcle as dh calls it. I have hidden from view at big school and now dd is in her final year u think I've got off that hook. [phew]

I have improved just enough to do a bit of baking. Have made several cakes for a Phillipines fundraiser.
Now having lie down.
Trying to ignore Christmas since spending nearly ALL of yesterday trying to unravel the labyrinthine mysteries of The Tesco Boost scheme . Wtaf?confused

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 21-Nov-13 00:12:26

I squeezed gently prodded the bloody abscess last night and an alarming amount of pus shot out all over my face and the mirror. I rinsed with salt water, took two nurofen and went to bed. It is much better today - almost no lump at all, though a little bruised. Hopefully the antibiotics will see it off now that all the gunk has come out.

Went to DD's school tonight to see her perform in her school play. She was very good, and two years younger than the rest of the cast. I was kvelling with pride.

bigTillyMint Thu 21-Nov-13 09:17:55

Eeeuuuwww! But fingers crossed it works! And flowers for your DD!

Cremo, glad to hear you are up to baking. We save our Tesco's vouchers for hotel breaks which we go on with our friends - 2 nights free booked for Twixmassmile In the city where your DD is at uni, addle - also where my dear friend and I met when we were at uni and that I haven't been back to for about 25 years! I am rather excited!

motherinferior Thu 21-Nov-13 10:20:43

thanks all round, I am thinking, especially to Auriga.

QueenQueenie Thu 21-Nov-13 12:30:37

Yuk Mrs S! You know there are whole threads on here devoted to "sporn" [pus porn hmm]? You would be a real star, but they like photos... Yuk again... Really hope you are better soon.

Auriga, more talks? A big talk? Very good luck. I'm sure there'll be more clapping and laughing...

Are you still running MI? Am about to drag my weary carcass out for a stagger. I enjoy it when I've done it. Definitely not so keen before or during...

herbaceous Thu 21-Nov-13 12:47:38

I am still contemplating running. Have yet to do it. My excuse is that I haven't yet got suitable shoes. What do you wear? My plan was to do the LadyJog on the way back from the school run, so would need garments warm enough for the slow amble to school, but light enough to take off and tie round the waist for any sweating while 'running'.

motherinferior Thu 21-Nov-13 12:58:19

I have ahem put running on hold this week as my knees are not too clever as a result. But am rather looking forward to resuming it as it means I can zip up my jeans better.

Herbs, I went - at vast expense - to a running shop. I did have a pair of trainers to start with, given to me when I left a magazine, to start with but needed ones that would stop my feet hurting.

herbaceous Thu 21-Nov-13 13:17:01

I have contemplated a running shop where they do 'gait analysis', but it seems you have to run on a treadmill for two minutes, and I'm so unfit I'm not sure I'd even make that. Which would be mortifying. I was thinking of just getting some 'motion control' numbers in a sale somewhere, and see if I stick with it long enough to justify spending £100 on a pair...

bigTillyMint Thu 21-Nov-13 13:30:42

Herbs, those gait analysis things are supposed to be very good!

herbaceous Thu 21-Nov-13 13:32:30

I kind of already know that I'm a 'severe overpronator', so wonder if I could just get some off t'inernet for now...

motherinferior Thu 21-Nov-13 13:42:57

I had to run up and down outside. They were very, very nice. For much less than two minutes. I could just about puff for 90 seconds when I started. Honestly. And now quite enjoy it apart from buggered knee. (I did go swimming this morning.)

Having said which: purchase a bra, a proper shock absorber one, before doing this!

herbaceous Thu 21-Nov-13 14:15:45

Indeed. My current strategy is to wear two slightly too-big cheap sports bras at once. This may not be sustainable.

QueenQueenie Thu 21-Nov-13 20:03:09

<stern look> Herbs, as MI says you need a "shock absorber" sports bra. Extremely ugly but pretty effective! Google for bargains. And decent shoes make a huge difference. Anything else is an optional extra... oh and an ipod if you want to do couch to 5k...

CointreauVersial Thu 21-Nov-13 22:49:15

Recently I've fallen off the wagon running-wise <moans about cold winter mornings> but I know I'll get back to it at some point. I've definitely piled non a few pounds as a result.

Herbs, you MUST get your shoes properly fitted at a running shop, although you can wait until you decide that you're going to stick with it. The one near us is brilliant, and they only videoed me for 30 seconds or so on the treadmill, then played it back - it was amazing what they could tell. My running shoes are the comfiest ever.

Your Twixmas break sounds brilliant, BTM; it's something we've done a few times. Last year was Bristol.

Tesco vouchers in this household are spent on meals out, cinema vouchers, and this year they are paying for our ferry tickets to the Emerald Isle for New Year. I do all my supermarket shopping there so we are generally swimming in freebies.

Auriga Thu 21-Nov-13 23:45:36

Thank you very much for flowers and good wishes. Think I'm ready for talk. Still haven't packed but know where everything is (famous last words). Also managed to have first haircut in 11 (eleven, XI) weeks.

DH is beside me chuckling about neutrinos being named after Muppets grin true apparently.

Hope you're recovering MrsS and well done to your DD.

Good to hear you're a little better, Crem, but don't get carried away...keep taking it easy as long as you can.

If I tried running I'd need a bra with girders. Comfy running shoes would definitely improve my chances; interesting to hear that they do actually exist.

Feel a bit tearful about going away. Not seeing enough of family these days. But will see good friends and a supporting sister at the Thing.

bigTillyMint Fri 22-Nov-13 06:37:31

CV, where in Bristol? We have been there loads (have been doing Twixmas breaks since the DC were born!) - Redwood Lodge when they were tinies and the Doubletree in more recent years! Going to Ireland for NY sounds fabenvy Though not on a ferry - DD and I are not good boat travellers!

Auriga, wine for after the talk! Sure it will go famouslysmile

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 22-Nov-13 08:06:34

Abscess has come back up again. sad I will go back to dentist next week...

bigTillyMint Fri 22-Nov-13 08:07:46

Oh No! I think I will have to make a dentist apt too as my back molar feels decidedly dodgysad

herbaceous Fri 22-Nov-13 09:58:07

I need the dentist too. My teeth are so stained, I look like a horse when I laugh. And they're all sensitive. But I HATE it, and it's so expensive. So I keep putting it off. This also means I've never taken DS, which I realise is very bad of me.

Got my birthday meal tonight. Have eight people joining me in a private room, with, terrifyingly, a minimum spend. One has already dropped out, meaning the rest of us have to cane the booze to bring up our tally. Not usually a problem.

motherinferior Fri 22-Nov-13 11:07:47

Herbs! Take him. Make an appointment. It's free for him.

Stropperella Fri 22-Nov-13 11:09:21

Is it your birthday today, Herbs? Happy Birthday! (and make a dentist's appointment for you and your ds, you naughty person grin )

MrsS, you poor thing. sad It sounds absolutely horrible.

Auriga, I want to hear your talk!! Best of luck, although I'm sure you won't need it.

Ds had a "VE day tea dance" at school yesterday, for which he and dd baked cakes. He was cross because dh and I did not go to said tea dance and "lots" of other parents did, apparently. We had informed him that we were busy with this thing called work, but this is, it seems, a poor excuse for non-attendance at school events of such towering importance. hmm
Ds ate too many of his friends' cakes. He was spectacularly ill all over his bed at about 11.30pm and then said "Ah, I feel better now". Just as well I have a washing machine big enough and tough enough to deal with duvets. I suppose if I had blown off my work and gone to school I could have prevented him from eating 5 cupcakes that were more icing than barely-baked sponge, but I would have still lost sleep as I would have had to stay up until 2am finishing my work. Swings and roundabouts. Meh.

herbaceous Fri 22-Nov-13 11:35:27

My birthday isn't until next Tuesday, crepesters, so stand down. But next Tuesday DP will be away. And Wednesday. And Thursday. So my actual birthday will be something of a damp squib. I'm thinking I might order myself a curry and drink some prosecco, while watching Professional Masterchef.

And yes - dentist appointment to be made.

herbaceous Fri 22-Nov-13 12:12:33

Wilbur - hope you don't mind, but I've sent you a PM about speech therapy, for the purposes of brain-picking.

wilbur Fri 22-Nov-13 20:32:46

Herbs - have replied to your PM - can you email the address I've sent you and then I will reply at longer length re SALT.

Looong day today, lots of errands and kids all over the place back and forth. Went down to Ikea (to buy Xmas mugs) and on the way almost had a dreadful crash - a woman pulled out from a car wash and was clearly not going to stop so I started to slow down and then she shot, and I mean shot, across the road about 3 inches from my front bumper and drove straight into the house opposite, taking out the front wall and porch and totalling her car. More significantly, she took the gas meter off the front wall, setting off a massive gas leak, to the open air, thank god but still dangerous, with the poor man who lived there trapped in the house by her wrecked car. Thankfully, neither person in the car was hurt, and it could have been truly awful as the road was busy with people walking as well as driving. So I stopped along with some others, called the gas emergency people, and someone else did police and ambulance. Driver was in complete shock, poor thing. Police got there v quickly and sorted it all out. Close shave though.

Dh has made me a martini and I have been listening to the JFK stuff on radio 2 which is sad and fascinating.

Cremolafoam Fri 22-Nov-13 22:43:49

Auriga : good luck you'll be fabulous of course!
Mrs S : thanks for the sporn. I've been really good and NOT described my pus filled open wound and you went and beat me to it. Sorry to heat it's still ailing you. sad
Wilbur: oMG what a close shave! Sounds like a horrible accident. Was the lady ok? Was the car out of control or did she have a moment ?
Grim all round.
I went searching for those glasses in ikea today but couldn't see them. Dh brought me out for coffee and a cinnamon bun. I stocked up on bargainous ikea ground coffee which is surprisingly good for £1.70
Herbs : better take ds tithe dentist in case he takes to a life in the stagegrin

It's getting into silly season now isn't it.. People get more and more hyped the closer it gets to Xmas . It's like its a big surprise they weren't expecting.

CointreauVersial Fri 22-Nov-13 23:10:16

Argh, enough pus already!

Bloody hell, Wilbur, that sounds scary. Coincidentally, I was on my way back from Ikea when I had my huge prang last year.

Herbs, get DS to the dentist when he's young enough to find it a novelty. At that age they don't do much more than counting their teeth and chatting about brushing techniques; they get stickers etc. Best not to wait until there's a dental problem before you first take him.

BTM, don't get too excited about our Bristol trip; we stayed in the somewhat underwhelming Premier Inn. But it wasn't all bad; it was opposite the most enormous branch of Primark. grin

DH and I have a challenging task lined up for the weekend; we have just taken delivery of two wooden venetian blinds for the DDs' bedrooms, which have to be installed. The windows are massive, almost 2 metres across. DH and I are not a good DIY partnership (his default setting is "brute force and ignorance"), but it's unavoidably a two-man job. Anyone recommend a good divorce lawyer? grin

Stropperella Fri 22-Nov-13 23:34:38

Er, good luck, CV. grin

Wilbur, hope you enjoyed your martini. Sounds like you needed it.

I am just back from a very nice Germanic fondue evening. Verrry tasty and good wine .

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 22-Nov-13 23:54:08

I have been to Lidl and am feasting on Lebkuchen and Grosser Dickmanns.

I called my mother this evening. She started off by saying "I was really angry..." She had had a card from the widower of her friend who died the other week saying thank you for coming to the funeral and for the flowers. So what was making her froth about that, you may ask? One: the card was too small. It should have been a proper notelet and not something the size of a gift tag. Two: he hadn't written "Dear Fanny", just "Fanny." Three: he hadn't thanked me for the flowers or for coming and I had travelled all the way from London for the funeral (30 minutes on the train) and should have been mentioned, especially as the flowers were from both of us. I basically said "Don't sweat the small stuff." She has vowed never to see him or his children again (and apparently it should have been them who wrote all the thank you notes, it's not for the widower to do). She brushed this off, and said her usual "People make you sick, don't they." We then had a long shpiel about the Asda bus and how they had to go back because she had forgotten her bag, but Jerry didn't mind because they weren't quite half way there, how they only had Fairtrade bananas and she won't buy those on principle as she doesn't see why someone should benefit from her shopping. And she finished by saying she thinks she will stay with us between Christmas and New Year because she is going to Bromley for New Year, and there's no point in going home in between. I will kill her if she stays a week. Shall I tell her we are going to the outlaws from 27-29 December? She doesn't exactly live far from London. It's, err, half an hour on the train...

wilbur Fri 22-Nov-13 23:58:33

Fondue envy.

CV, clearly trips to Ikea are fraught with danger far beyond the peril of potentially burning one's house down with tealights. Other driver was ok, physically, although v v shocked. From the look of it, she hit the accelerator instead of the brake, it was quite alittle car, so maybe pedals are close together.

Martini was v nice, thanks Stropps - had some melon liqueur in it, so a touch fragrant.

Auriga, hope the talk goes well. Sure you will knock em dead.

Auriga Sat 23-Nov-13 00:07:38

Good grief Wilbur, what a shock You tell it so calmly, yet a martini hardly seems equal to the emergency. A week in bed, more like.

Sorry to hear of folk weltering in pus. Debilitating and discouraging. Hope things improve soon, MrsS and CV.

Got here in plenty of time for rehearsal tonight, now tucked up at handy sister's house. Typically ramshsckle univerdity set-up,

Auriga Sat 23-Nov-13 00:18:50

Oops sorry

Laptop borrowed from PhD student and balanced on trolley with no brakes, which shoots away from me if I touch it. Laptop has been dropped a few times so clicking and scrolling don't work hmm No microphone thanks to muddle with tech (huge auditorium and - of course- I'm brewing a stinking cold). Apparently there will be mictomorrow.

Auriga Sat 23-Nov-13 00:19:58


Blackduck Sat 23-Nov-13 07:53:00

Wilbur - hope you are okay!
Auriga - what is the talk on (being nosy)
Herbs - I need to do the dentist too, but round here it's pretty much all private so costs a fortune- but they've got a wii ds says, I should bloody well hope so at their prices!!
Stropps - lovely, nothing like a midnight chuck up to deal with!

Shall we forget next week crepeys and pencil a post Christmas/BD birthday bash in instead?

motherinferior Sat 23-Nov-13 09:53:45

Wilbur, how awful.

Good luck, all those who need it (sounds like going into battle, which is of course not unlike a family weekend...)

bigTillyMint Sat 23-Nov-13 10:38:50

Wilbur, that sounds horrendousshock So lucky you weren't crashed into too.

MrsS, your DM makes mine look pretty easy-going and non-judgemental!

I am feeling a leetle delicate after the most fabulous evening last night - friends 50th at Aquashard. We felt like we were in a movie with all those stunning views around. So happy to live in London!

lalsy Sat 23-Nov-13 12:22:42

I have revolting cough but no pus anywhere (yet).

Wilbur that sounds terrifying. Auriga, good luck.

I really love living in London too. And when I think of dc leaving home, it does cheer me up thinking of all the Stuff I can do (once not trying to cling on to family life in some form).

motherinferior Sat 23-Nov-13 12:28:20

I have had a haircut and am going out for lunch with friends including the 47 year old pregnant one grin

herbaceous Sat 23-Nov-13 13:33:48

I have a catastrophic hangover. I'm supposed to be starting my SLT diploma application, but the screen swims in front of my eyes. I also can't find the original application form that specified I should have volunteering experience, case studies, etc. Not sure if it's all changed, or I'm just being dense.

Have noticed, rather belatedly, that the course wants you to have a 2:1 Honours degree. Mine is only 2:2. I'm wondering if I can big up my 'life experience', and all that...

bigTillyMint Sat 23-Nov-13 16:18:45

Herbs, I'm still feeling rough too! I'm so out of practice - I don't think I had THAT muchsad

wilbur Sat 23-Nov-13 17:11:52

Herbs - have just sent you as much info as I can remember re dcs and their various speech problems. Hope it helps.

Have been doing laundry and helping make a papier mache roast peacock today. Going to eat crumpets now.

bigTillyMint Sat 23-Nov-13 19:23:58

wtf does a papier mache roast peacock look like? Photo neededgrin

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 23-Nov-13 19:42:43

Herbs and BTM, you are a right pair of lushes! envy

CointreauVersial Sat 23-Nov-13 22:50:45

Just back from the cinema. DD1 asked the other day if she could go and see the new Hunger Games film with her mates, then yesterday DS independently announced that he had made similar plans with his mates. DH and I thought, sod it, we'll go too, and booked tickets with DD2 . So the cinema (and it was a small one) was sprinkled with Cointreaus, all sitting separately and studiously ignoring each other. grin

Good film, but not a patch on the first one.

Auriga Sun 24-Nov-13 01:27:02

Success grin

Papier mâché roast peacock? Have I missed something?

BD it was about a musician. Can't think how to say more without risk of outing self (crepe for brains again).

Talking of which, did I mention I called DH by the dog's name for the first time the other day? Well, today I sent a text meant for DH to the conference organiser blush. It was decent, though.

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Nov-13 04:26:21

Hi all - can't sleep so catching up with thread.
There is a flashing light at the end of my tunnel so I hope to be back to my full posting form soon.

January meet? yes please grin

Blackduck Sun 24-Nov-13 08:09:13

Ohh - randomly googles musicians....

I went out Thursday and although we didn't drink that much I was so knackered Friday I took a half day and slept for 16 hours straight shock

Oh and I got the job, but they want to talk to me hmm

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Nov-13 08:21:20

You got the job?! grin
Well done BD x

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 09:52:49

Ooh congrats, BDflowerswinecake

Nice to see you ruby!

Am feeling so much better today - I think it must have been the not eating till after 10pm (after having lunch at 12!!!) rather than the winewink

Went to see Philomena with DH last night - what a tear-jerker! Steve Coogan was surprisingly good, though I kept expecting him to break into some skit!

herbaceous Sun 24-Nov-13 10:20:28

Hi there all. I too feel much refreshed, after falling asleep on the settee last night, then a good night's sleep. Off out to a local transport museum, then a nice pre-birthday luncheon.

Wilbur - thank you so much for your comprehensive reply! I'm now all downhearted, thinking all my efforts will be for nought as I didn't get a 2:1 all those years ago, but will give the admissions people a ring in the morning and beg.

And well done BD! Tell us more.

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 10:30:04

Herbs, I reckon the 2:1 stipulation will be more for students straight out of uni - you have a wealth of other experience to call onsmile

Off to peruse laptops in the hopes of deciding which one to get for DD, gulp! I have been told I should get one with an intel i3 processor, but then go as cheap as because no laptop lasts that long. And then there's the touch-screen possibilities.... Anyone bought one recently to recommend?

motherinferior Sun 24-Nov-13 10:40:28

If you find a nice CHEAP one, tell me - we are currently without any laptops at all. This is not as dire as it sounds, given that I far prefer working at Proper Computer, and we have two, but it would be nice for those admittedly rare occasions when I have to work outside the Inferiority Complex and would also mean I could resume the deeply pleasurable habits of reading stuff at the British Library.

Auriga wine wine

Another agent rejected my book this week, btw.

Rooobs, how lovely to see you.

Stropperella Sun 24-Nov-13 11:04:37

BD - congratulations!!

And well done Auriga!

Am envy of all those getting lots of zzzz - I'm having trouble getting enough at the moment. I'm so underslept I've lost half a stone and of course it appears to have specifically gone from my face and chest. My neck now looks like a very elderly stick of celery and I may have to buy new bras - although I will wait until after Christmas, in the vain hope that seasonal overindulgence will pad the bras out again <hopeful> .
I have no words of wisdom to offer about laptops as I have never met one I liked smile . I need a big ergonomic keyboard and 2 monitors for what I do (could probably use a 3rd monitor, but I've no desk space), so laptops always cramp my style. I gave my netbook to dh for his music stuff as I just never used it. The only pokey little device I use reasonably happily is my Nexus 4, but I'd still rather be on my PC grin

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 12:37:13

Oh yes, well done Auriga on the top secret musician talk!

Well, PC world now have proper advisors like in the Apple shop. It was quite useful, but equally daunting!
I think we are going to have a battle re style over substance for the limited budget!

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 24-Nov-13 13:10:10

I have schlepped all over London this weekend looking at cellos for DD1, including a trip out to Dagenham and another into the wilds of Tooting. Still no cello though. She now thinks she preferred the Dagenham one...

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Nov-13 14:37:30

Well done Auriga and good luck with SALT application Herbs.

I'm feeling so daggy atm. I have the least glamorous job in the world and I long to wear a sweater dress and some heels, paint my nails and actually do my hair and then not have to slap a hat on it.

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Nov-13 14:39:38

On a brighter note - a friend has just invited me to Paris for the weekend smile
Can you recommend anywhere cheap but lovely to stay MrsS? <<impossible request>>

motherinferior Sun 24-Nov-13 14:56:05

Ruby, you could never be daggy envy. I on the other hand....

CointreauVersial Sun 24-Nov-13 15:06:00

Christmas Lists have been appearing on the fridge at Château Cointreau.

The DDs went first, with lists of the usual girly stuff, but both lists were topped with the word HAMSTER in giant letters <casts mind back to sad demise of neglected rabbit> hmm

Then DS put up a list of ridiculously unaffordable items (iPhone 5, posh mountain bike, XBox One etc.).

My list has a few bits and pieces (scarf, handbag, the type of chocs I like) which serves to direct DH as he will inevitably be hurtling round the shops at closing time on the 24th.

DH's list reads thus:



rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Nov-13 15:31:04

I'm hoping mine just want their rooms doing up this year. Beds, desks, lamps etc. and new dressing gowns etc.

It's going to feel weird being in a different house this Christmas. Will have to re-arrange the decorations and where to put the tree? What a dilemma!

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 15:38:56

CV I had Puppy at the top of both DCs lists. It got swiftly crossed off! DD is getting the aforementioned laptop and a cartilage piercingshock, DS is getting the old laptop and a road bike (if DH can find a decent secondhand one!)

I am freezing after watching DS play footy. Gives me a knotted stomach, especially with DH and other dads living every minute of it sad They only drew, which is NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 24-Nov-13 16:05:14

Ruby, I have never stayed here but I always thought it was the most beautiful, romantic and well-located hotel. It's in one of the 19th century shopping passages which have lots of little chichi shops and restaurants in. It is very central, and close to this restaurant which is a Paris institution, and possibly one of the cheapest places to eat.

hattymattie Sun 24-Nov-13 17:17:03

Hello everybody, have finally been able to wrest the shared laptop off DS. Well done on the job BD. I have spent this afternoon making parts of gingerbread houses with DC's which will then be assembled and decorated by people more talented than I to sell at the school fete, so feeling very virtuous.

We also have Christmas lists appearing on the fridge and DS keeps following me round with the computer open on Amazon which is very annoying. There was a moment today when DS and DD2 got me in a pincer movement with their respective laptops and Amazon orders and I pretty much through a tantrum and slunk off to a corner with the newspaper.

MI - what's your book about? (apologies if this has already been said and I missed it.)

motherinferior Sun 24-Nov-13 17:40:38

Hatty:is creative non fiction about race and colour and suchlike. Will PM you, purely because I don't want to bore everyone silly by going on and on about it again grin

motherinferior Sun 24-Nov-13 17:41:31

...or would PM you if damn system were working...

Cremolafoam Sun 24-Nov-13 17:43:55

Mrs s - how funny I have stayed at Chopin with dh a number of years ago! It is charming but definitely closer to a 2* than a 3* . Everything is quaint and the room we had was a garret overlooking the roof of the Musee Grevin ! Good size room but romantically old fashioned in am 80s way. ( perhaps done renovation has taken place je ne sais pasconfused)
It is entirely peach and apricot inside and has one of those 1 person ancient clanking liftsgrin Dh enjoyed the vending machine in the corridor with beer and wine!!!
The location is terrific though. I have fond memories of wandering through the passages all the way to Beauborg. Also THE most terrific dolls house furniture shop I have ever seen and the tea room
Le Valentin - exquisite patisserie -
Ah Oui - ill always have Paris...

Cremolafoam Sun 24-Nov-13 17:52:42

Others to consider:
Hotel Parc St Severin in the 5eme
Hotel Champs de Mars in 7eme
If I could afford 3 nights I'd be v happy

motherinferior Sun 24-Nov-13 18:19:57

Oh ffs. DP went out to the shops inc. Sainsbury's (of course) this afternoon. I reminded him DD1 needs new warm tights. I bought her some last week, he said huffily. Yes, but that was two pairs. She goes to school five days a week....

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 24-Nov-13 19:14:39

MI - if I go to TK Maxx next week, do you want me to see if I can pick up a pair of the fleece tights that DD2 has? They are the same price as Primani and the colour and quality seem significantly better.

DH has come back from B & Q with some paint charts. grin

I would really, really like a few days off to mooch and not do much, but barely have enough leave to see me through between Christmas and New Year. sad Would also like to go back to Paris for a couple of days before Christmas, but don't think that's going to happen either. I feel my desire for some time off would not be so great if I had a proper job.

Tooth seems to be non-pus-y and not swollen at the moment. Dentist said to wait a few days after the antibiotics finished to see how it looked before going back, so I think I will leave it this week and then go back if it comes up again.

hattymattie Sun 24-Nov-13 19:25:12

DD1 has had a tantrum because she wants to to volley every Monday until 10 pm! Quite apart from the fact that I would have to go and fetch her, she has her bac at the end of the year and she already has activities on two other nights. I said she needed to work - she said she could learn more quickly than me so I didn't understand hmm.

Meanwhile DS's neck has swollen up like a hampster after a cold - should I leave this or go to the doctor? He seems fine otherwise.

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 20:03:02

Hatty, mumps?shock - not good for boys!

We have just been out for a restorative curry. The DC were whining and bickering before, but are now snuggling loudly on the settee. I am not sure this is betterconfused

I want some of those fleecy tights. To wear under my jeans at footy matches!

Blackduck Sun 24-Nov-13 20:03:24

Ds's list was dealt with largely via Amazon (it was very reasonable, although the giraffe onsie took some finding...). Dp and I are giving each other Mexico. Shopping done.

Job, hmm... It is a step up in responsibility and a step down in pay (I think this is what they want to talk about). It is much nearer home..... I need to get all the info and think about it seriously - but nice to be asked grin
Ds wants me to take him to Paris so my be asking for tips post Christmas MrsS.

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 20:31:43

BD, I got DD a giraffe onesie! Primarni! Nearer home is good - will it sufficiently pay off the drop in pay?

CointreauVersial Sun 24-Nov-13 21:06:00

DD2 also has a Primarni giraffe onesie, but it is getting a little small, so this year's is a penguin (her favourite critter).

Well, the divorce hasn't happened, largely because we ran out of time this weekend to put the bloody blinds up. DS had a football match and an athletics competition which took up most of the day; poor DH left without his wallet so the two of them had nothing to eat all day (even though there were people there he knew pretty well, including one of our antenatal buddies of 14+ year's standing - you'd think he'd pluck up the courage to ask to borrow a tenner, wouldn't you? Clearly not).

BTM - you were looking at laptops - we bought ours a couple of years ago from PC World, and it was a Compaq, the cheapest of the cheap at about £270, and it has been brilliant. It boots up in seconds, does everything you need it to point telling you the model, as two years is a long time in computer terms, but what I'm saying is you don't need to spend a fortune.

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Nov-13 21:22:10

Men, eh! I forgot my purse on Friday night, but luckily I had my emergency tenner in my phone case and DH came later with my purse!

Thanks for the tip about the laptop - I am aiming for cheap and cheerful, let's hope DD doesn't have a tantrum over it!

Auriga Mon 25-Nov-13 01:25:08

Home again, phew. Missed DD's concert, DH's concert and a visit from my sister by being away. But saw other sister, and also saw most of DD's concert remotely, as it was live-streamed on the web. She has another one tomorrow night, which I can go to if I miss choir. We're used to a few clashes this time of year but this weekend sets some kind of record. And that's without mentioning Dr Who...

Ruby, congratulations on new job

Strops, how is big project going?

MI, what's the book about?

Auriga Mon 25-Nov-13 01:27:42

MI - just seen what the book is about smile limping behind a bit here

Blackduck Mon 25-Nov-13 06:12:19

Bugger - didn't think of Primani - to be honest I hate going in there, it's like a jumble sale.....

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 25-Nov-13 07:56:29

Go early if you can, BD. The Marble Arch one opens at 8, I think. Neither the Russians nor the French are up and out at that hour, never mind the Brits and Poles. grin

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 11:20:02

Buggery arsing fuck. Just called City University, and they don't make any exceptions for old people re the 2:1 requirement. UCL and Greenwich have the same requirement.

Back to the drawing board.

Cremolafoam Mon 25-Nov-13 11:34:37

Oh herbs crapola. I'd have thought it was different for mature students.
Really disappointed for you . There must be another way , there just mustconfused

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 11:37:43

Trouble is, because I've left it so late (deadline is 2 December), there's so little time to find that other way.

I could do an undergraduate degree, but that's a) four years, and b) requires going through UCAS, so I've probably missed the boat.

Now wondering if I should stick to my literacy tutor ambitions. Though still can't work out how to become one.

addle Mon 25-Nov-13 11:38:35

bad luck Herbs. my sister is sort of connected with this sort of stuff (unnecessarily mysterious) - i'll email her and ask if there's any way round.

motherinferior Mon 25-Nov-13 11:44:17

Herbs, they're going to say that at reception. Send in with faaaaaabulous supporting statement and they may have other views, dammit.

motherinferior Mon 25-Nov-13 11:46:09

Ring this lot??

wilbur Mon 25-Nov-13 11:46:35

Oh, herbs, that's a shame. I bet if you could speak to an actual tutor, and put your case it might be different. Or submit the application with a passionate letter about your ambitions re the course, that might swing it? Is it a single year post-grad study? Is there an access course you could do, like they do for older folk who want to go into things like nursing?

BD - congrats on the job offer, although I'm sorry it's not loads of £££ AND close to home.

For those interested, here is ds1's roasted peacock Latin project...

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 11:57:22

Thing is, I know that 600 people apply for 80 places, and the woman on the phone (who does admissions for that actual course) said that it's very competitive so they don't make any exceptions.

The course is two years.

Thanks for any potential insight, addle...

CointreauVersial Mon 25-Nov-13 12:55:19

Oh Herbs, that's a stinker. Just when you'd set your heart on it too. Hopefully there are strings about, which can be pulled......

Wilbur - most impressive bird! Did you pin down and forcibly pluck a real live peacock to get those lovely feathers?

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 13:02:20

I had been getting very slightly cold feet, thinking I might not be 'caring' enough, the therapeutic world being a whole new beast. A part of me is slightly relieved, but a larger part is gutted.

bigTillyMint Mon 25-Nov-13 13:21:11

Oh Herbs, how gutting. When is the next deadline? Could you work towards that? Or forge a 2:1 certificate?!

I think you would make a smashing SALT and of course you are caring enough.

Wilbur, that is one helluva roast peacock. I can't imagine why you would need to make one for homework, but then neither I nor my DC have done Latin!

hattymattie Mon 25-Nov-13 13:49:10

Oh Herbs, that's really sad - I was rooting for you.

I never got do do anything like roast peacock in Latin, more gruelling verbs, it looks fab.

Well DS is off school and has been to doctor, who says it's a virus - I'd send him back to school if his hampster cheeks weren't so obvious. Otherwise he seems fine.

Blackduck Mon 25-Nov-13 13:50:30

Bugger Herbs, just bugger.... I'd still try - even better try to make contact with someone who teaches on the course and sell yourself....

Yes - more £££ and nearer home would be too much to ask ;)

I have had the convo - they will put me on the top of the scale, but then there is no where to go.... leave is slightly less (by a couple of days) and pension is okay (transferable...) Need to think on it tonight and make a decision.

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 14:08:07

I've contacted the SLT I'm volunteering for, who used to be a tutor on the course, to get her take on things and possibly instigate levers...

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 14:25:25

Now I'm wondering about doing a PGCE to become a primary school teacher. That would open a number of doors to other tutor/teaching stuff... I wonder if 20 years of enduring painful office politics is good grounding for the crap teachers have to put up with?

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 14:32:39

Herbs, do you think if you got a year's worth of volunteering in they might look at your application more favourably? I know a fair few people round here who have gone into the same or similar occupations as late entrants, but did an NVQ and a lot of voluntary work before they got on a course.

<whinge alert> Dd at home today doing coursework that should have been done ages ago. She got ready for school but couldn't make it out of the door. I spent 2.5 hours trying to talk her down from an anxiety state this morning. I have so much work it is not funny. Tomorrow I have to take dd to a Camhs appmt and ds to a piano exam and then various other after-school blah. Large project is currently at a standstill as I have something to squeeze in for someone else first. Am trying not to compete with dd as to who may develop the most weird anxiety-related symptoms. grin

The bathroom is extremely grubby, the lawn needs mowing (in November?), I have no blardy idea what we're having for supper tonight or when I'm going to cook it (have to spend the early part of the evening on cubs and band practice taxi duty). Which means I will have to work until 11pm. I can't do later as my brain clocks off at that time, whether I like it or not. <end of whinge>

For Christmas, I would like a wife and a secretary, please. grin

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 14:34:30

Herbs, in answer to your last question, imho, no. grin

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 14:37:50

Wilbur, most impressive peacock! That must have taken ages.

BD, good luck with making your decision.

Blackduck Mon 25-Nov-13 14:39:11

Stropps, if you are offering a decent salary I'd be all for it ;)

Herbs - as Stropps says, IMHO, no..... (I was a secondary school teacher in the dim and distant past - I still bear the scars...)

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 14:43:43

Oh. That bad, eh?

I'm trying to work out how to teach literacy to adults, but get bogged down in a quicksand of acronyms and blather. What they need is some Plain English training...

And another day passes unproductively, as I set off on the school pick up. And Sainsbury's run. But Strops - I don't envy you. What a hideous juggling/packhorse burden you have...

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 14:47:47

Herbs, thank you. But I know it would be infinitely worse if I was still a teacher, so I take comfort from that. grin

herbaceous Mon 25-Nov-13 14:49:00

< weep >

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 14:50:51

(well, apart from the small matters of paid sick leave, holidays and a pension, obvs)

Blackduck Mon 25-Nov-13 14:59:31

Yes Wilbur, fab peacook...

Herbs, this may have been because I was monumentally crap at it - might not be the case for you!

(I absolutely admire good teachers who make it look so easy - but it is bloody hard work!)

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 15:28:02

I worship at the feet of ds's current class teacher. She is brilliant. Multi-talented, enthusiastic, creative, inspirational, very hard-working and very clear-sighted. And she has 2 young children. And I've never met anyone who has a bad word to say about her.

I worked damn hard when I was a teacher and I like to think I managed at least the odd day when I was reasonably creative and enthusiastic... but that's about as positive as it got, I think. grin

As with everything - YMMV. smile

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 15:28:40

And yes, I should NOT have spent the last 30 mins faffing around, I should have been working. Off I toddle.

motherinferior Mon 25-Nov-13 15:29:17

I myself am just realising why I don't have a proper job. Have been to a meeting and am feeling irritable. Had to keep reminding self this is a tiny charity and pays me a pittance to do its quarterly mag. Not one to get into a froth about and definitely worth saying No to when unreasonable demands are made.

lalsy Mon 25-Nov-13 15:46:40

I just ran into someone I vaguely know, and her son is doing a mix of study and apprenticeship to do aircraft maintenance and engineering.....I was sort of envious at such a very solid job...defined, recognised as useful, will always be needed....anyone else?

Good luck in your quest herbs.

wilbur Mon 25-Nov-13 17:34:54

I'm with you there, lalsy. I have always longed to be able to say, proudly, I am an X (lawyer, teacher, architect, aerospace engineer, hairdresser, whatevs) instead of always having to say I work for a company that does XYZ. My roles have always been so undefined, and hazy and the result of random career wandering. The closest I have ever got to that is when I was a waiter. I was a really good waiter.

I would really like my dcs to know a lot about something (anything, just something they have a passion for) and to be useful and recognised as such. I think real contentment lies down that path.

CV - peacock feathers came courtesy of MIL's peacocks. She breeds them, they make one hell of a farking noise and are spectacularly stupid - if you have a shiny blue green car they will attack it as they think it's another peacock confused. Project is on an aspect of Roman life and ds1 has chosen feasting. He has worked really hard on it, bless him.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 25-Nov-13 17:41:42

LOL at the stupid peacocks!

I am an X and I hate it. Maybe the grass is always greener?

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 25-Nov-13 17:42:15

Or maybe I am the wrong X and should be Y? confused

CointreauVersial Mon 25-Nov-13 18:07:58

We had a white peacock suddenly appear in our back garden a couple of years ago. It was very tame, would take crumbs from an outstretched hand, and spend a long time clattering up and down our roof, trying to see what we were doing in the garden.

Eventually, someone knocked on our door and told us it belonged to a friend of hers across the village, and as long as we didn't feed it (oops), it would eventually push off home. Which, after a couple of days, it did. I was quite sad to see it go, until I read up about them, about what a neighbour-annoying nightmare they can be.

lalsy Mon 25-Nov-13 18:19:03

I agree Wilbur, about contentment. I think the other problem with my hazy type of jobs is that in a recession they can fade away (or be done elsewhere ludicrously cheaply and badly) and the consequences won't be felt for some time and then will be hard to link back to the policy.

The grass is probably always greener though!

bigTillyMint Mon 25-Nov-13 18:29:19

Herbs, don't let those ex-teachers put you off - I love my job! But it is a rather niche settingsmile

If you are serious, I suggest you do as much volunteering as you possibly can as it will give you an insight into what the job demands are like as well as useful experience to put on your CV. But you know that anywaysmile

Wilbur I can imagine you waitressing! I used to love working in a pub - I would definitely be a barmaid again if I had to change careers!

I have been talking to DD about the prospect of work experience. It seems that just about every setting is boring... She is right, of course - if you go to do work experience in most workplaces, you just get to do the tea-making and photocopying. Any ideas?

Blackduck Mon 25-Nov-13 19:38:54

I have had a selection of jobs/careers... I kind of feel I have come full circle which is depressing. I, too, wanted to be able to say I am 'x' - I have had my moments, but it's always been the wrong 'x' smile

addle Mon 25-Nov-13 19:42:10

Wilbur, completely agree - keep wondering how I can help the dcs down that sort of path – although I can see if you end up as an X if you should be a Y, that's hard. my dd says she loves doing history but think she should do a nursing course next as that's useful (and tangible to her I think).

Gm of an ex-boyfriend used to wonder loudly how I could ever make a living out of 'spelling and grammar'. Obviously she has proved to be right.

bigTillyMint Mon 25-Nov-13 20:00:37

Oh addle, I was thinking DD might want to do history at uni. Apparently it's one of the better degrees for a wide range of careers.

lalsy Mon 25-Nov-13 20:29:48

My very unmechanically minded dd went on a school trip to Brompton bike factory - she was blown away and said if she was any good at DT/engineering/walking across a room without falling over, she would love to work somewhere like that. Nothing like that in our family (teachers, civil servants, editors etc), so the reality was completely unexpected, and inspiring. Made work experience can be a chance to try out an unfamiliar environment?

addle Mon 25-Nov-13 20:37:38

BTM, she's loving the history and it seems to be really well taught as well - it's just that she doesn't yet see how it can be useful to anyone else. as far as i can gather the history students feel unfocussed compared to lots of the other students, maybe partly because they may all go off in such different subjects next.

Work experience - if you know any lawyers courts can be compelling though my DD disliked the barrister and caught the bus home with the defendant on her first visit to Southwark.

Lalsy, I've always admired engineers of all kinds at the same time as being completely bewildered by anything 3D - a factory like that must be hugely inspiring.

bigTillyMint Mon 25-Nov-13 20:53:12

lalsy, that was exactly what I was hoping!

addle, love that your DD hated the barrister and escaped with the defendant! I think it is an analytical subject (like Economics, DH saysconfused) and so useful for many careers.

She wants to do something that doesn't involve sitting in an office all day. And she is fantastic with children... Can you see where this is heading?! Although Herbs's interest in SALT has reminded me that that could be a possibility. I did try to interest her in physiotherapy today when we went for her appointment, but despite all the physio's being fantastic, she seems to have some morbid fear/hatred of hospitals (inherited, no doubt, from DH who hates them)

lalsy Mon 25-Nov-13 21:17:28

I agree about history too. I think anyone over 14 can go to the Old Bailey to watch cases (they are listed so you can check suitability first). My dd has just done work experience with a tiny organisation - not an area she is particularly interested in, but was great experience because she got given actual jobs to do with deadlines. I think meaningful work experience for under 16s is quite hard to find because of all the safeguarding/safety stuff. BTM, is your dd sporty? Could she help with coaching younger kids - there, being under 16 (is she?) seems to be an advantage!

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 21:21:30

We appear to have had a major breakthrough: I pointed out to dd that doing a Zoology degree could be an alternative route to vet science (if somewhat long-winded) and now she has looked it up and seen what A levels she would need, she is feeling much, much better than she has done all term so far. She would have a bit more flexibility in her A level choices and a host of career paths to choose from and this has cheered her up no end. So I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a better day and she will feel better if she has a more realistic aim to focus on. And I will eventually be able to get some bloody work done.

The Big Bang Science Fair is a great place for school students to get a taste of all sorts of (non-arts) careers.

bigTillyMint Mon 25-Nov-13 21:23:18

Yes, she is sporty! She coaches at gymnastics! I was hoping that we might find something just like what your DD has done, just to widen her horizons a bit. And make her wise up to the demands of a work environment....

Stropperella Mon 25-Nov-13 21:23:42

Oh and I have a job where I can say I am an X. And then people respond by saying "What's the point of that? Google does that for free." Never fails to lift my spirits, that. grin

bigTillyMint Mon 25-Nov-13 21:26:33

Stropps, that's great! At least she has an idea of something she might like to dosmile

DD has wanted to be a teacher from tiny. DH is desperate for her to do something high-poweredconfused

I will google the Big Bang Science Fair!

lalsy Mon 25-Nov-13 21:42:50

My dd wants a job that involves driving a quad bike smile. She is 17.....

Stropps, that's great.

OK, drain engineers, no-one can say they are not needed.

CointreauVersial Tue 26-Nov-13 00:02:04

DS wants to be an engineer, having been dazzled by some chap from a local firm at the recent school careers evening. I can just see him doing some sort of apprenticeship (they are quite the thing nowadays, apparently). He would also be brilliant at some sort of sports coaching,

The DDs are still at the stage of wanting to be artists, actresses, or some other such pie-in-the-sky aspirations. Well, I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do, and have rather drifted into my current job. I have faith that they will all find their niches in life at some point.

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 08:21:35

DD2 has listed my job as her 'fallback'. I have recommended that she aims higher grin

Am still prickly about yesterday's meeting. Am worried they're trying to make what is supposed to be a small gig into a huge one, without increasing the money. I am standing firm, but am not used to doing so...

Blackduck Tue 26-Nov-13 09:12:19

Why high powered BTM? ANd that is actually quite depressing that teaching is not seen as high powered.....

I want ds to be happy in what he does, to want to go to work every day, and to not live in penury - that'll be dp then......

I am lucky to live in an area where the majority of people are happy with their lot (aside from me ;) ) and many of them do an amazing patchwork of things!

Stropperella Tue 26-Nov-13 10:06:39

Happy birthday, Herbs! And many happy returns.

Dd went off to school reasonably sensibly this morning. My crepey friends, I realise I keep blathering on about the teen traumas in this house and I do realise it is a public forum where these blatherings will be preserved for <ahem> posterity, unfortunately. I have tried to find other places to discuss these things but talking about it to other parents round here is counter-productive for various reasons. I did try out a RL support group for parents (er, mothers) but all the other children had essentially ended up in care and this depressed me dreadfully. And sorry if I'm repeating myself a lot at the moment. My brains appear to be a bit mashed.

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 10:47:28

Happy birthday Herbissima!

Oh Stropps, please don't feel you're imposing! Blather away!

I have had a run-in with the client I was whingeing about yesterday and feel pretty mashed up myself.

wilbur Tue 26-Nov-13 10:49:59

Stropps - don't worry about blathering, I'm glad your dd has been encouraged by an alternative plan. They do zoology at the Uni where BIL teaches, although I don't think he teaches those students. And thank you for the Big Bang Fair tip - I have just registered as dcs will love it and it's conveniently close to ILs house.

Lalsy - I think Brompton is a particularly nice place to work - great company ethic and creating something high quality that people love (although mine decided to do a lot of gear clunking this morning, which was a PITA). And there are jobs for those kind of companies that don't require being able to assemble a bicycle from scratch.

Blackduck Tue 26-Nov-13 10:51:15

Herbs - Happy Birthday...

Stropps, Carry on - I sometimes forget this is an 'open' forum as I blather away! I jsut wish I was closer to at least one of you!! (envies London crowd...)

Job decision still not made - head about to explode...

Cremolafoam Tue 26-Nov-13 10:58:17

Bon Anniversaire herbaliciousthanks

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 11:03:12

Can I waaaah for a minute?

It’s that quarterly charity mag I’ve taken on. They’re paying me £2,500 an issue INCLUDING COMMISSIONING: so there are about six features and a fair bit of news to edit and some listings and other stuff and a letters page. There is a lot, really. It is all a bit vague, not least because bloke from the the ad/publications agency producing it who used to do it, has now gone to work for the charity. So there are lots of blurred bits round the edges. And I’m increasingly worried that it is too much work for the money. Sort of said so in a meeting with the client yesterday. Shouldn’t have. Starting to want to backtrack totally – when there was a reproving email from the publishers yesterday I nearly told them. IT’s not helped by the fact that when they took me on they made a big song and dance about how this was ‘long term for many years’…ffs it is a TINY mag from a TINY charity.

bigTillyMint Tue 26-Nov-13 11:11:40

BD, high-powered - who knows whyconfused Like you, I want her to find a job she enjoys and wants to do every day that pays enough to live comfortably. I am always quick to put my twopennoth in on this matterwink

Happy birthday Herbs!

Stropps, as you know, I totally identify with all your teen blatherings. Please blather away - I will chip in from time to time!

MI, I'm afraid I have no idea about how much you should charge/be paid, or what you should do...blush But feel free to rantgrin

Stropperella Tue 26-Nov-13 11:35:17

MI, I sympathise completely. It is very hard these days to not feel like one is being taken advantage of left, right and centre. sad

Wilbur, would it be ok to PM you sometime soon for a leetle bit of info?? <wheedle>

Thanks for your support and sympathy, crepeys. It makes all the difference, it really does.

I live in hope that dd will find something to aim for study/jobwise that really lights her fire and gives her a focus. It's what she needs. I think that she would be a rather good research scientist or could find a niche in some sciencey area of conservation work. She writes very well and is good at languages but has always excelled in maths and biology. She has A or A* potential in just about everything, believe it or not, but is currently predicted mainly As and Bs in all areas because of a) lack of concerted effort and b) the anxiety hoo-hah. Wish us luck with today's appmt - which is where I'm off to now.

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 11:38:39

Good luck, Stropps!

herbaceous Tue 26-Nov-13 11:41:08

MI - is that fee including the money you have to pay out to writers? I suppose whether it's a good deal depends on how much rewriting those features will take.

I happen to know an excellent freelancer whose work you won't need to rewrite at all!

Not a good birthday so far. PTA meeting, then had to take cat to vet as he's got an abscess in his mouth. He's got to go back tomorrow to have teeth out. It's going to set us back £600-700, not much of which will be covered by insurance as cat had a dental check TWO YEARS AGO (gulp) that I didn't act on. The insurance company can (rightly) claim that such slackness led to this problem. Poor cat - he's just sitting looking lopsided, drooling, and facing the wall.

Had a minor revelation in the middle of the night. I always feel that to improve my life I have to dramatically alter it - such as the SALT course. In fact, I can make baby steps towards it, by doing smaller qualifications that enable me to keep doing what I'm doing, which I love, but add lecturing and tutoring into my portfolio career.

Right. I'm off now for birthday lunch at Wahaca on the South Bank. I may have a margarita.

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 11:47:58

Oh dear, this is truly the Toothy Thread, innit.

It is, indeed, the whole sum per mag including every single bit of commissioning.

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 11:48:55

It's the 'other stuff' that is worrying me. I very nearly had to retype handwritten letters to the editor. That was where I became, apparently, 'embarrassing' in the meeting.

bigTillyMint Tue 26-Nov-13 12:08:36

Oh yes, Good Luck Stropps!

DD is similarly down on herself - also prdicted A/A*'s, but constantly says she is rubbish at things despite loads of praise/encouragement from us and all her teachers confused I think she feels under a lot of pressure at school (with their expectations and number of GCSE's...)

Herbs, Wahaca and margarita's for lunch sounds fab!

And I still need to ring the dentist....

herbaceous Tue 26-Nov-13 17:26:31

Blow me down. I opened DP's birthday present this morning, which he'd led me to believe was 'uninspiring', and it was a Selfridges gift card for ....

< drum roll >


What to buy? What to buy? What to buy? A single 'investment piece', such as an Anglomania dress, or 10 pieces of tat from Warehouse.

QueenQueenie Tue 26-Nov-13 17:44:44

Happy Birthday Herby one!
Good call Mr Herbs, very impressive...
If it were me I'd buy one lovely thing... and a VW dress is an excellent idea and wont be something you get sick of after a bit. DON'T SPEND IT ON THE CAT'S TEETH!

Hope dd's appointment went well Stropps. Never apologise about chatting about your worries on here, I think it's really lovely that we can offer a bit of support / a shoulder to cry on here.

Much sympathy MI re stupid charity. Stand firm (and cross your arms resolutely).

bigTillyMint Tue 26-Nov-13 18:24:14

Ooooh Herbs, how fab!

I would also go for an investment piece. And VW is a very good idea.

Have booked the dentist appointment!

addle Tue 26-Nov-13 18:40:11

Happy Birthday Herbs ! fab present, second the VW dress idea - they look lovely.

Stropps - I think we all benefit from the incredibly supportive conversations on here - I often think of them.

Lots of sympathy MI, sometimes the tiny charities are the worst because they just don't understand that aspect of what they do.

Auriga Tue 26-Nov-13 18:44:23

Stropps, teenage blathering is exactly what I want to listen to. And other child-related blathering, tbh but teenage especially. How was appointment?

MI, can you allocate time to the job based on a viable hourly rate? For example, if £X/hr is reasonable and you have £Y left after commissioning, then you limit yourself to Y/X hours on the editing. I sometimes try to apply this to reports. I set a kitchen timer to go off every 15 mins, dictate standing up and am extremely strict with myself. Quite helpful even if people are not trying to get away with under-paying. You get good at knowing exactly how long jobs take and you (mysteriously) get faster.

DD's concert was a delight and she had a gorgeous solo that she'd kept as a surprise grin

OTOH got an e-mail from head of Upper School about her drop in effort grades. Trouble is, the grades were more than 5 weeks ago and HoUS seemed unaware of the effort she's made since, including changing one of her GCSE subjects, re-doing coursework etc. Still, this was promptly acknowledged when I e-mailed back.

Presentation at work today for someone who's done 10 years without a sick day. Whole senior team turned up, all of our team and some others, to applaud her and give her armfuls of flowers and compliments. Interesting how there seems to be a tacit acknowledgement that, in her line of work, sick leave is partly a choice. But fun all the same.

Auriga Tue 26-Nov-13 18:45:45

And happy birthday Herbs!

frogs Tue 26-Nov-13 18:52:00

Ah, MI, this is where you hang out!

Can I join in your game too? [needy] [snurk]

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 19:27:30


Let me introduce Frogs. She is lovelygrin

And I am most heartened by your helpful advice and suggestions.

motherinferior Tue 26-Nov-13 19:30:11

And Herbs, go for the knockout dress. Otherwise you will fritter it on socks and pants and suchlike. I am very fond of socks and pants but a frock is a frock.

beachyhead Tue 26-Nov-13 20:13:03

Can I be very S&B stupid and ask what a VW dress is? Whatever it is, it sounds better than pants or cats teeth!

I am stuck in the 'Fire outside London Bridge' train hell but just listened to XTC on my phone so all is good.

I bought shiny blue ballet flats today. Quite pleased with them. In the sale... Is this the January sales brought forward or the Summer sales slipping back?

Do vent here Stropps... It's very important to have the space to vent.

bigTillyMint Tue 26-Nov-13 20:21:08

Oh God Beachy, just read about that LB closure on my local forum - you poor thing!

Shiny blue ballet flats? I have shiny pink flats that I wear all the time at work which have been much admired mainly by children

VW - Vivienne Westwoodsmile

Cremolafoam Tue 26-Nov-13 20:33:15

Bonsoir Mesdames .
Herbs double yes to the Vivienne dress of Dreams. Would love one myself. And bag. And fabulous Anglomania edgy jacket or Biba or ...
Can you tell I haven't been out lately?

I am finally on the mend - wound has rezipped thanks to being anointed with manuka honey. In other news dd has received 3 offers from her Ucas choices. Yay! Am delighted for her. Poor thing is working so hard she fell asleep between school and dinner today. In the mean time dh has actual flu. I mean hot sweat, can't move body , croaky , temperature, sneezing fit, tubercular wheezing flu. Has been bedridden for 3 days. As a result I am now driving again after 8 weeks. Needs must.

hattymattie Tue 26-Nov-13 20:34:17

Let me be the last to wish you a very happy birthday Herb's. I've had one glass of wine and think I will be falling asleep imminently. I really can't take the pace anymore.

Have spent today decorating the gingerbread houses which we made on Sunday, so have eaten rather a lot of liquorice allsorts.

I thought VW was volkswagon!

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 26-Nov-13 20:51:34

I am howling at "Don't spend it on the cat's teeth!" YY to one piece, nice dress preferably or bag or something lovely that you will have for a long time <strokes Hermes scarf>. And happy birthday.

I went for cocktails at Le Meridien on Piccadilly tonight for a friend's birthday, then trotted along to Fortnum's. There was obviously Some Event going on in the perfume department, as I got a glass of champagne thrust into my hand as I stepped out of the lift. I did some Sniffin' then went downstairs to buy some cheese and wafted off home on the bus. Must stop spending money as if I am still on Paris salary.

bigTillyMint Tue 26-Nov-13 22:03:24

Cremo, all good (apart from the man real flu)flowersall round!

MrsS, you lush!envy

frogs Tue 26-Nov-13 22:14:24

Hi MI, and everyone! [selfconscious]

Beachyhead, did I meet you at one of the Pizza Pomodoro meetups years ago? Of course I may just possibly be terminally confused. confused

Blackduck Tue 26-Nov-13 22:32:08

OMG Herbs how fab!!!
Boots - I'd buy boots.... grin

Blackduck Tue 26-Nov-13 22:33:25

Hi Frogs - waves

Lovely choir tonight - a personally written carol (long story), three kings and winter hymnal (bloody freezing though!!)

CointreauVersial Tue 26-Nov-13 23:46:08

Um, Hattie, I think I shall be the last to wish Herbs a Happy Birthday. Hope you have had a nice day, Herbs; very envy at your voucher.

Interesting that HerbsCat and MrsS are apparently sharing an ailment.grin

Strops, seriously, don't worry about downloading on here - that's what we're here for.

Hello Frogs. Welcome to the madhouse.

BTM - if you're still awake - the priority Tesco slots have been released!

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 08:00:53

Thanks CV - just booked mine for 23rd!

Hi Frogs!

beachyhead Wed 27-Nov-13 08:12:04

Sorry Herbs, I quite forgot my manners in my three and three quarter hours journey home last night, so belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY and yes to a significant piece, rather than a host of tat.

Yes Frogs that was me - part of the City girls meet ups. We did quite a few, didn't we, in Spitalfields and in that underground Pizza Pomodora with all the tiles grin That feels a very long time ago!

The shoes are these and I only bought them as I needed shoes to wear with some navy trousers I foolishly bought for work. They have been hanging in the cupboard 'waiting' for me to sort out shoes. Every other navy shoe seemed to look like some Tory wife nightmare. Still not sure on these, but I hate buying shoes, so they will do!

Blackduck Wed 27-Nov-13 08:55:11

I am feeling very unwell this morning (and, no, I did not drink copious amounts last night... one glass only), I feel like I want to throw up (TMI I know)
I still can't decide re job - does that mean a 'no'? I did have a revelation (curtesy of ds) that moving jobs will cut (pretty much) my ties with where I used to live and will probably tie me more to where I now live - do you think there is something psychological going on there? Some 'no way back' fear?

herbaceous Wed 27-Nov-13 09:20:40

I think your DS may be v wise. Inertia is a powerful force!

CV - I'm wearing my Wool Lovers guernsey jumper in racy red. It's so warm! Not the most flattering shape ever, but a winter staple.

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 09:25:17

I'm in my moss stitch one, cosily.

beachyhead Wed 27-Nov-13 09:35:05

Sorry you are feeling so bad this morning, BD. I think there is some truth in the 'cutting ties' theory. Maybe evaluate why you don't want to be nearer home, what is it about the old area that you need to maintain links with? Massive disclaimer: I think QQ would be better doing this sort of analysis!

You could work it out very factually: 2 hours saved per day versus £x less. Perhaps think about the things you would do with that extra time or how much less stress you would have with less travel. It's a hard decision, but once made, the trick is not to look back.

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 10:44:56

BD I feel your hangover pain! I felt soooo bad on Saturday - think it was more about eating so late than the winewink

Re changing jobs, do you think it's just the fear factor of doing something different? Change can be scary, especially at our agegrin And you can go back to visit your old haunts if you miss them. Hard decision.

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 11:22:34

Yes, dear, definitely the eating late wink

Stropperella Wed 27-Nov-13 13:23:28

Today's reason for refusing to go to school: spots. The sort of spots that your mother can't see, apparently. Refused to go into counselling yesterday by herself. Refused to tell the truth to the counsellor. Immediately vicious to ds when he returned from his music exam in the afternoon, telling him he was "rubbish anyway and will never have passed". The poor little chap is only 8 and it was his first ever exam of any kind. Ok, maybe that doesn't sound so bad, but she never misses an opportunity to make him feel bad about himself and it's a campaign that is starting to bear fruit. What to do?
Sorry, folks, but I am so done with it all. I gave her half an hour to get herself together so that I could take her to school before 10.15, which is when the text invariably arrives from the Attendance Officer. She spent an hour in front of the mirror, despite everything I said. I have now lost 2.5 days of work. I said that if she was not ready by 10.15am, I would pass this whole thing over to the school as there is clearly nothing that I can do. She is not cooperating at all and now feels that she doesn't have to do anything unless she feels like it, but if things all go horribly wrong because she hasn't attended school/done the work, she can blame me. I cannot work or function under these circs and the stress is telling on ds and dh as well. Being "nice" has just made things worse. The situation has been slowly getting worse for 2 years and nobody offers any concrete help. I see why those teenagers are in foster care. My mother has just been round and suggested the same for dd. And suggested that I need to see a psychiatrist in order to get a "diagnosis" for dd. Yeah, obviously it all works like that...

So I rang the school and organised a meeting with the head of year. Who dd can't stand. The HoY is now going to come down like a ton of bricks on dd and put her on attendance report and force her into detention to make up any missed time in future. She refused to even be in a room with him this morning - she was supposed to come into the meeting with me after I had driven her to school (please bear in mind we live 7 damn minutes walk away from said school), but literally ran away as soon as she saw him. If she doesn't respond to the first line of sanctions, things will get nastier. I have been trying to prevent them dealing with it like this for some time by playing the "anxiety" card on her behalf and they have taken a softly-softly approach, but it's clearly not working and I am now completely at my wits' end. If anyone has any clever ideas about something I'm missing completely, that would be great.

Sorry, I am completely distraught. It's all beginning to look horribly like a social services scenario.

Blackduck Wed 27-Nov-13 13:56:27

Oh Stropps I am so sorry to hear this - don't feel I can offer much in the way of concrete help as I have not been in this situation. Just wanted you to know my shoulder is here, and you can bend my ear anytime....

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 13:58:43

Oh S. I am reading and re-reading and trying to think of positive strategies (are there any on MaryZ's thread in Teenagers)? I think you're absolutely right about getting as much professional help as possible.

Re work: can DH pick up the slack? Ditto domestic stuff? (Though I would make an executive decision to cut all effort on anything bar just getting through the day, dealing with DD and trying to manage any absolutely compulsory work...)

Cremolafoam Wed 27-Nov-13 14:02:32

Stropps my heart goes out to you.
No wonder you are at the end of your tether .
I have no idea what you can do to make things better. It does remind me of some of the situations discussed on a recent training course I did on conflict resolution .
There was a section on dealing with intransigence and entrenchment .
Please don't feel the need to read but the thrust of dealing with refuseniks is here

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 14:04:21

I think what we can say - and this may be of some paradoxical use - is that this is an extreme situation. The usual strategies and solutions don't apply here. Which is not to say go in overly punitive - if that's not appropriate - it may be the opposite.

Can you work out what are the absolute essentials, the basics to get covered:
with DD
with work?

beachyhead Wed 27-Nov-13 14:29:47

That is so difficult, Stropps. I'm sure you have explored all the local resources, but it seems more investigation by CAMHs will be needed. I am friends with a psychiatric OT locally and I know they have group sessions. Also are they educational units where she will be able to continue her studies, but in a different and maybe more peaceful environment?

I'm sorry if I've missed this, but what seems to be the fundamental root of her anxiety and is she taking any medication for it? Or would she?

It's so hard - hugs to you and all your family

Blackduck Wed 27-Nov-13 14:43:51

I was going to say sod the housework, no one died from an un-hoovered house.... as long as the bathroom and ktichen are clean(ish) (i.e. they won't kill anyone) then sod it....

lalsy Wed 27-Nov-13 14:50:36

I am so sorry to read this, but glad you have somewhere like this to turn to. I hope the professionals can help, it sounds very hard on you all.

(My dd has been a bit anxious all her life, although it was much worse when she was younger.)

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 15:06:32

Oh God Stropps, you poor thing. How dreadful this is for you all.
As you know, I am just as clueless as you as to what to do. But I agree, MaryZ and the others on her thread may well have some useful advice.

I think you are right - the softly softly approach doesn't seem to be working. The school needs to now take this up and go down whatever route they think is right, and make her realise she needs to either pull her socks up or perhaps move to a different provision if she really can't cope there.

What did the counsellor say about her refusing to go in on her own? Any insight/next step? Will they see you on your own if she won't go and can they offer any strategies?

It must be so difficult to work/concentrate at home with all this going on. I agree with MI and the others - just do what absolutely has to be done.

And it's a long shot, and probably a load of rubbish, but does the GP think there could be anything hormonally/chemically wrong that meds might help at least for a while?

Bloody Hell, you poor thing.

hattymattie Wed 27-Nov-13 16:01:02

Stropps, this is an awful situation, I'm haven't much useful advice, it's such a shame when teenagers go off the rails and very difficult for the rest of the family, including your poor DS. I have some friends here who've actually resorted to putting their DS into a boarding school because he's so difficult with his parents and so mean to his younger sisters. I hope you find a solution.

Crem - I missed your post yesterday, I think it came in just behind mine - just wanted to say, glad you're on the mend and hope DH is doing better and of course a big congrat's to DD on her UCAS offers. It is so much less stressful once they receive something and feel wanted smile

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 16:16:32

And if you need just to GET AWAY one evening, I'm sure we could find you a bed for the night between us grin

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 17:46:21

Oh definitely! You know we have a very comfy spare room, Stropps, and you're welcome any timesmile

DS has had another bike accident. Another 4WD on the rat-run to/from Dulwich College. This one failed to see boys about to cross the road on the zebra (was doing the speeding up/slowing down between the road humps) and as he screeched to a halt, DS went into him and DS's mate went into DS. DS said he went up and over the car boot onto the ground. He was shaken and a bit bruised, and his bike got a bit bashed (hopefully DH can sort it) but he seems OK and still wanted to go to footy training.

The twat he crashed into got out of his 4WD and said "I'm a doctor." Then he clocked that the rear light was smashed and said "Do you have insurance?" DS (who is still 12 FFS) said "Do I look like I have insurance?" and the "doctor" drove offangry

I am now even more concerned that DS wears his helmet, reflective gear (though it happened in daylight) and learns to read the road ahead, unlike the twat driving the 4WD.

hattymattie Wed 27-Nov-13 18:08:02

BTM - that is outrageous - I feel angry on your behalf. He should at least have made contact with you or the police to ensure that DS was OK afterwards and not concussed or anything - especially if he was a doctor.

I drive through very dark Streets in the evening which are heaving with school children. This being France, nobody wears reflectors and everybody wears black. It is sometimes very difficult to see people stepping out, so yes to reflective gear it really makes a difference.

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 18:49:19

I know DS was probably a bit too close and perhaps going a bit fast/not concentrating fully, but he didn't even check if DS was OKangry

Blackduck Wed 27-Nov-13 19:18:55

BTM angry for you..

Strops more than welcome to a bed on the hill - no bright lights here unfortunately, but a decent pub. I know your dd is younger, but so reminds me of my administrator's daughter, who was an absolute bitch to her brother. In the end my admin told her to leave home (she kept threatening to anyway). It was a mega tough decision, but the right one.

Stropperella Wed 27-Nov-13 19:26:43

Oh BTM, that's awful. What a way for that driver to behave - and your poor ds. And poor you. Yes to helmet and as much reflective/bright neon gear as possible. I hope his bruises will not be too sore tomorrow and the bike is fixable, but your poor nerves..

BD, I do hope that you are feeling better and getting to grips with making your decision. Your ds is clearly wise beyond his years.

Crem, that is fantastic news about you being on the mend. Have made note of Manuka honey just in case we ever need it here. I am about to go and read your links, so thank you in advance.

What can I say but "thank you".. You lot are a sight more helpful than the school. The HoY didn't get round to seeing dd today, although she said he passed her when she was on her way to lesson 6 - which is when he told me he would nab her. Obviously he had more important things to be doing. Don't know what to make of that, really, given what he said to me in the meeting this morning. confused

I rang the GP this afternoon and was directed to ring the "Crisis worker" at Camhs. Which I duly did, only to be told that there were no crisis workers available today as they were all in a meeting. I was <cough> a teeny bit overwrought by this stage, what with one thing and another. So I rang the GP's surgery again and blubbed. A nice and very wise GP rang me back and listened for some time. He said some very useful things - not all of which were easy to hear, but the gist of it seemed to be that if it's all going to come to a nasty head, maybe it needs to get worse before it gets better. It is a very complex issue - it's not just anxiety, there are control issues and other things.

Dd is calm tonight and says that when she is in that mood, she thinks a certain way and nothing can shake her out of it or convince her otherwise until she calms down.

For those that don't know - her father (my first husband) was an abusive alcoholic who I divorced when she was 4 and who committed suicide when she was 6 and a half, having treated her in an appalling manner her whole life. That was 6 weeks before I gave birth to her half-brother. Dh's mother died 4 months after that and then my father died a few months after that. The dh's brother and the dog. That last one seems ridiculous but it pretty much finished off 7-year-old dd. And looking back, I did also go a bit bats from stress and lack of sleep. Which didn't help.

All things considered, even if she won't go for counselling, I probably should, as it might make me better at dealing with her. confused

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 19:33:20

God that's rubbish, Stropps - the HoY I mean.

At least the kindly GP offered an ear, and hopefully will contact CAMHS too?
AFAIK, CAMHS offer family therapy and sometimes ask to see parents separately - maybe you can pursue this when they are back in again tomorrow?

You both had a LOT to contend with in the past, none of which was your or your DD's fault. Perhaps it's all coming out now for your DD? Plus general teenageryness, which is not to be underestimated.

Blackduck Wed 27-Nov-13 19:34:35

Oh Stropps I want to give you such a BIG hug (and a large glass of red) - so traumatic and no wonder it's tough...

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 19:46:54

Everything wot BD and BTM said. And do consider just a bit of time out if and when you need to. You can sit staring glassy-eyed at the wall while Crepeys press glasses of wine upon you. (Hell, we'll push the boat out and offer posh crisps too.)

BTM, I want to go and punch that driver very hard. Mind you - on a lighter note, I had to drive the girls to a meeting at DD1's school (their dad is on his way back from a meeting in Geneva) and couldn't find anywhere to park and ended up wedged in this tiny road next to the school. I seriously thought we'd have to stay there forever, unable to move in any direction whatsoever. It was on a par with The Day We Went To Bromley....

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 20:13:17

Yes, yes to wine and posh crispsgrin

DH and I were wondering if we should report the accident, but DS didn't get the numberplate although he thought it was a BMW 4WD.
The more I think about it, the more I can't believe he just drove off.

QueenQueenie Wed 27-Nov-13 20:16:08

Oh Stropps, very glad to read to top of thread to find out that things have calmed down for now.. I know when things are hard with my boys, and especially when they are being beyond hideous to each other (which is all too often for my liking) it does feel absolutely terrible and end of the worldish... then they make up and are all over each other leaving me like a wrung out dishcloth in the corner.. it really is a bumpy ride some of the time. Have a huge hug from me.
You have now written yourself what I was going to say. I think you are absolutely right to try and get help for dd BUT you can't make her want it or accept it if she doesn't. What you can do though is get help and support for yourself and for your dh and ds. Please think about asking CAMHS / the GP for that sort of help (family therapy) or at the very least help for you as her parent. You have to look after yourself if you are to have any chance of helping her. She sounds very troubled and unsurprisingly so given what she has had to deal with... but you have had all that to manage too. Have another hug...

QueenQueenie Wed 27-Nov-13 20:20:00

BD, have you reached a decision? I feel I haven't really understood the dilemma... Less money but much closer to home? Is the anxiety that cutting all ties with previous life before your move is too drastic / not what you want? I would have thought that losing that commute if you can afford the pay cut is worth loads in terms of time and energy myself... and I think I would be thinking that if I was working nearer home and had more time it would free me up to get more involved with things locally and cement new life where you are now....

lalsy Wed 27-Nov-13 21:19:21

BTM, I am so shocked at your story and appalled that the driver drove off - if he was a doctor I think he's on especially dodgy ground. Could you go and stake out that road with ds and take a photo of the car if he recognises it again (if it was a school run-er)

Stropps, your poor dd and poor you. When your dd says says that "when she is in that mood, she thinks a certain way and nothing can shake her out of it or convince her otherwise until she calms down", that rang bells for me, especially the rigidity of the thought patterns. I wanted my dd to learn techniques to calm down and think (she wouldn't) - but we did with partial success use a codeword system - if we spotted the signs, or she did, we'd say the word and everyone would back off for a bit. Probably no help but just thought I'd mention it.

motherinferior Wed 27-Nov-13 21:22:52

Totally irrelevant and lighthearted aside:

DP has returned from Geneva, bearing chocolate and a nice present for me - Chanel 19. I love Chanel 19. I also have quite a lot of it, as he bought it for my birthday six months ago and I still hadn't used up the one he bought me before that...

I must be the only dishevelled middle-aged mother in Catford with a Chanel 19 stash. grin

addle Wed 27-Nov-13 21:46:56

BTM - that's awful - agree if you get the chance might be worth staking out the road with ds? how nervewracking for you.

Stropps - just to agree with everyone else's wise words and send you lots of supportive vibes really

envy MI, is a lovely scent

hello Frogs - are you another sarf londoner?

herbaceous Wed 27-Nov-13 21:48:12

I'm hoping for a duty free gift from DP, who's been in Dublin for the past couple of days, over my birthday. Tho of course the gift card may let him off any slip ups in that regard.

Stropps. I feel for you so much, and wish I had something useful to say. Tho I did have a dim bell ringing when you said she has particular moods that are inescapable. A friend of mine had a very difficult childhood and teenage years, with powerfully moods she couldn't control, and she eventually found it was diet related. Her daughter is the same. A low FODMAP diet (something to do with fermenting matter) has transformed life for both of them. Worth a punt?

Stropperella Wed 27-Nov-13 21:48:15

Thank you, lalsy - I actually think that would be an excellent system for me to use with dh, because he really doesn't see the signs and I'm sure using the codeword would prevent a few conflagrations. QQ and BTM, I think you are right about the family therapy and in fact the more I think about it, the righter I think you are grin. If dh, ds and I go off and get some support, it would take the spotlight off dd in some ways and also reduce the amount of control she has over the situation at home, which would be a healthy thing, I think. Gosh, you lot are most excellent. I wish I lived nearer London - I would be round for a glass or two of red and some posh crisps. grin
My hope is that dd will go off to school in the morning and I will do lots of work. And once I have got a satisfactory few thousand words under my belt, I will ring Camhs and/or GP about family therapy. I am also going to email the school.

MI, I like the picture of you wafting around Catford in a huge cloud of Chanel 19. grin

Stropperella Wed 27-Nov-13 21:49:33

<googles FODMAP>

Auriga Wed 27-Nov-13 21:50:39

Stropps, sympathy. Can't better the advice you've had - help for you first and keep sounding off to us. And MI was right about working out the minimum that has to be done for others.

BTM, hope your ds is ok and not put off cycling. The 4WDs outside Dulwich College used to terrify me when I was a white-knuckled new driver 20 years ago, bet they're worse now.

bigTillyMint Wed 27-Nov-13 21:59:18

Thanks for all the kind words - DS seems fine and not put off cycling. Infact, he is looking forwards to getting a new road bike for Christmas. He is waaaay more resilient in every respect than DD, thank God. Meant he was a god-awful younger child at times (don't know how I didn't kill him or myself!), but he is coming into its own now!

The only problem is getting him to wear his helmet and fluorescent top. Even after thisconfusedsad

QueenQueenie Wed 27-Nov-13 21:59:41

Bloody hell BTM, that really is shocking for that driver to behave like that. I think I would report to the police even with minimal information. What a horrible shock for everyone, my heart would be in my mouth. Thank god he was OK. Have a wine

Stropperella Wed 27-Nov-13 22:03:51

Ahem, word of the day: "Lalochezia" n. the emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language.


CointreauVersial Wed 27-Nov-13 23:00:15

grin There was lots of "Lalochezia" this evening as DH and I tackled the first of the blinds which were going up in DD1 and DD2's bedrooms.....One up, one to go.

Strops, sending you strength in dealing with all the family rubbish.thanks thanks

BTM shock your poor DS, but thank god it wasn't worse.

wilbur Wed 27-Nov-13 23:08:23

Stropps - echoing what other have said here about family therapy, I have seen it work strongly - and I am particularly thinking of families I know where there are half siblings. I would add that as the younger child in a very similar situation myself with my sister in her teens, you are right about trying to reduce the amount of control dd's moods have over everyone else in the home. I wish with all my heart that my parents had been willing to (a) be more consistent (I don't necessarily mean tougher, sometimes they certainly should have been kinder) with their approach to dsis's drama and (b) look at their own upbringings and past and try to tease out where maybe some of the battles might be coming from. Instead we all trod on eggshells for 30 years, which was wrong. I think about this a lot myself now, especially when I am busy yelling sad blush full tilt at someone over something that is mainly to do with my attitudes and expectations as I don't want my kids to walk on eggshells around me. You are a very articulate person and clearly love your dd very much, and she seems to have a lot going for her in many ways. I would have thought there must be somewhere you can meet in the middle. You have both been through so much. What was that quote - did someone use it here before? "Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there." Love that.

PS: you asked about PM'ing me (about BIL's animal stuff?). Whenever the time's right, PM away.

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 28-Nov-13 09:05:34

BTM - please, please, please make him wear a helmet and reflective clothing, even if it isn't cool. I saw the aftermath of a terrible accident yesterday where a cyclist had clearly tried to undertake a bus that was pulling into a bus stop at Trafalgar Square. It didn't look good.

Strops - that sounds utterly gruelling, poor you. Echo what others have said (particularly Wilbur) about family therapy.

And MI - Chanel No 19, yum. Catford will never have smelled better! grin

I still hate my job and don't have enough to do. I am going to ask to move on after March (when it ends) as this is not what I signed up for.

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 28-Nov-13 09:09:54

And back to dentist tomorrow probably to have the tooth removed. sad

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 09:13:07

He refused to put his helmet on this morningsad

Even if DH/I stand over him and makes him put it on, he will just take it off up the road. How can we make him want to put it on?

herbaceous Thu 28-Nov-13 09:21:01

BTM - get him listening to part of the Today prgramme this morning. There was a father on there talking about his 16-year-old son who's just come out of a coma, having had a bike accident when not wearing a helmet. The most he's hoping for is that his son will walk and talk again.

In animal news, the cat wouldn't come out of his anaesthetic very well, and developed a strange swelling on his head. We had to transfer him to the vet hospital last night. No word yet on how he is. Poor old boy.

Stropperella Thu 28-Nov-13 09:59:26

BTM, confiscate the bike?? Show him James Cracknell's film . His helmet saved his life.

MrsS, sorry to hear the blasted abcess has not gone. Hope it's not too ghastly tomorrow. Also sorry to hear about the ongoing crapness of work.

Herbs, hope you get good news about your cat soon. Poor little chap.

I am cat-sitting for a friend this week and one of her cats is very much on its last legs. I have instructions to take him on his final journey to the vets if things suddenly get worse. He seems quite cheery at the moment, so I am hopeful that he will stay that way until Sunday. <sweats>

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 10:02:53

I will see if the Today programme is on catch-up. And that link looks really good, Stropps. DH is going to have another go at him. TBH, I don't think there is much mileage in confiscating the bike as he will just pretend to wear it in our sight - he needs to feel that the helmet is important himself IYSWIM. It doesn't help that all the other boys (especially the older ones) I see cycling in don't wear helmets eithersad

Stropps, I hamster sat once and the hamster was on it's last legs. DS put it in a coffin!

Stropperella Thu 28-Nov-13 10:11:01

Dd managed to get to school today, albeit a bit late. I have just had an email from the HoY apologising for not seeing her yesterday and saying he is going to see her today. No way of predicting how that is going to play out.

Wilbur, thank you for your kind words. I am well aware that dd and I are peculiar in equal measure smile It's the unpredictability and the intractability of her moods... I am also uncomfortably aware that dh has a certain role he is playing in all of this and he is even more unlikely than dd to want to talk to anyone about it. I couldn't do anything about this last year because he was dealing with cancer (obviously that is ongoing, but he is more his usual self at the moment), but I suspect that family therapy will highlight a few issues that he will feel very unhappy about and that will bring its own stresses. However, it is maybe time that I stopped trying to hold it all together as I'm clearly fighting a losing battle anyway.

Stropperella Thu 28-Nov-13 10:15:12

LOL, BTM, thanks for those encouraging words about pet-sitting aged and infirm pets. grin

addle Thu 28-Nov-13 10:26:50

stropps - holding it all together not always sustainable or even a good idea in the very long run (but it's so difficult to see into the v long run)

herbs - my sister says happy to talk to you/email with you about SALT as she may have some ideas. will pm you

dh and i off to cappadocia this afternoon for a week - looking forward but is v odd. no children. think we may be on coaches with advanced crepeys (was vvv cheap) but won't need to cheer anyone up so that will be great

motherinferior Thu 28-Nov-13 10:34:08

My friend house-sat once for a friend whose dog died. It was like a C&W song.

envy @ addle.

Stropps, yy, stop trying to hold it together.

herbaceous Thu 28-Nov-13 10:36:14

Addle - coach tours ROCK. We went by coach to Germany for our choir tour and I was dreading it. But it was marvellous! Just being bussed about to various places with no decisions to be made, no arguments about routes, just being told where to be at certain times. Very relaxing. And advanced crepeys are often very interesting travelling companions.

wilbur Thu 28-Nov-13 10:38:26

BTM - it's so hard about the helmet thing. Would a different type of helmet make him feel more cool in it? Something like this picture? Or a Bern helmet? which is what I have and makes me look slightly less of a dork and protects teh side of my head which I like. Plaster your fridge in pictures of cool cyclists wearing helmets? There are lots here and here. I'm not sure the threat of injury makes any difference at all to young men sad. I wish they would make them mandatory for under 18s when cycling on roads.

Herbs, sorry about your cat, hope he feels a bit better soon.

I had a very crepey day yesterday. Got a letter from doctor saying yes, I have arthritis in my hands and the beginnings of Herbeden's nodes (the things that give you old witch deformed hands eventually), and then I went to the opticians who said I should have varifocals. Might as well shoot myself now.

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 11:13:49

Ooh, wilbur thanks for those links! I too wish helmets were compulsory - like seat belts.

addleenvy at Cappadocia sans jeunes, even if it is on a coach!

Stropps, glad your dd went in, fingers crossed the HoY actually does something today. And yes you need to stop trying to hold it all together - your DH needs to accept he has a role to play too.

herbaceous Thu 28-Nov-13 12:09:35

Things not good on the cat front. As well as the swelling on his head, his heart is racing abnormally, and he's gone blind. Some of these things may be a temporary reaction to the anaesthetic, or latent problems, and may resolve, or may not.

As he's deaf already, the vet's already murmuring about 'quality of life', etc. DS would be heartbroken. As would I, despite the cat being a monumental pain in the arse.

motherinferior Thu 28-Nov-13 12:42:19

OH herbs sad

Cats do come and go in our lives but they are so...loveable. As well as being monumental pains in the arse.

herbaceous Thu 28-Nov-13 12:49:24

He's 15, and I've had him since he was six weeks old. He's like a dog, follows me about everywhere, yowling, and as soon as my legs are one degree from the vertical tries to sit on my lap. He shits in my ornamental gravel. And now I feel so guilty for ever finding him totally irritating.

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 13:04:29

Oh dear Herbs.

Stropperella Thu 28-Nov-13 13:06:05


motherinferior Thu 28-Nov-13 13:13:57

Herbs sad

Being Irritating is what cats do, remember. It gives them quality of life. Seriously.

Lovely furry buggers <contemplates own felines>

Blackduck Thu 28-Nov-13 13:17:13

Oh Herbs sad

I am dreading the dog moment (which, despite being deaf as a post and covered in lumps, is a while off yet), because we had him months before ds was born and ds has grwon up with the smelly mutt.......

CointreauVersial Thu 28-Nov-13 13:25:28

Oh Herbs, how sad. I guess it will be a life lesson for DS, but you will miss him.

Regarding pets; I have caved, and bought a Hamster cage on an Amazon Black Friday deal. The DDs will have to be content with a photo of a hamster until after New Year, as we are away immediately after Christmas.

And we have the class hamster coming to stay for the weekend. Until I read this thread, my biggest fear was the blasted thing escaping. Now I'm worried it is going to shuffle off while it's on our watch.

BTM - that cycle helmet thing is a nightmare. Fortunately at our secondary school, helmets are, if not trendy, at least regarded as acceptable, and we pass several helmeted youngsters cycling furiously down the A25 into town at 8.30am. I would go for zero tolerance and carpet-bombing with scary videos. Do his friends cycle? Can you go for a joint crackdown with other parents?

Gearing up for my Christmas shopping day at Bluewater tomorrow!

wilbur Thu 28-Nov-13 14:08:42

Ooh, ooh, I've got it! Get ds one of these. Dh has one which he uses sometimes - lots of cyclists, couriers esp, have them in case they have an accident so they can establish fault. You can insist ds uses it every day and you can therefore check he has his helmet on all the way to school by watching the footage. Plus, it's a gadget, which must be an Acceptable Compromise.

Herbs sad about cat. It is very hard - my childhood cat lived to be 19, but I still missed him desparately. Lovely furry memories though.

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 14:30:30

CV, rather you than me re hamstergrin

The thing is, his route is pretty safe - all back streets with not many cars. Just the blasted Chelsea tractors doing the Dulwich College/Prep and Jags/Alleyns runsangry

Have fun at Bluewaterenvy

Blackduck Thu 28-Nov-13 14:55:20

Bluewater...ahhh hell on earth.....

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 15:24:04

No, no, no, BD! It is great and shouldn't be too bad on a weekdayenvy

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 15:25:30

Oooh wilbur, just seen your post and link - I will suggest it to him - thanks!

DH is going to have another go at him tonight. And so am I.

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 15:28:58

I am thinking maybe we get him a new helmet as well as a new (second hand) road bike for Christmas. If that would encourage him to wear it.

lalsy Thu 28-Nov-13 16:39:12

BTM, Can you tell him you have loads of people you met on the internet along his route spying on him? And that we will run after him yelling about Mumsnet if we see him without a helmet?

Wilbur, I love that quote about the field too. And I got varifocals (or possibly multi or bi a while back, and they are fab, you don't have to faff around taking them on and off, which was making me feel old. It takes a few days to crack walking with them - or did for me).

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 16:43:34

lalsygrin He knows all about my MN addiction!

motherinferior Thu 28-Nov-13 17:29:56

My focals are vari. Frankly, they're the least of my ageing worries...

Cremolafoam Thu 28-Nov-13 17:50:46

Oh yes to varifocals : they have changed my life, although I now wear a serious look all the time as result.
Herbs I'm sorry bout your old kitty. We lost our wee cat a couple of years ago at the ripe old age of 23. She had lived with me in five different houses and died of fright the night out chimney caught fire . It was all too much for the wee thing.( nice firemen though)
It's terribly sad when you loose your faithful follower. I felt quite bereaved.
sad hoping for a good outcome .

I am done with the Xmas shopping. Just awaiting 2 packages now.quite relieved. All done from sofa although feel quite bad about Amazon after watching the panorama programme.

herbaceous Thu 28-Nov-13 19:17:34

I've done no Christmas shopping at all, apart from a playmobil advent calender for DS. Each day has a different character to create a woodland scene. Awwww.

Just back from visiting the cat. He seemed in good spirits, wanting some loving, but his face is very swollen and he still can't see. He seemed to know where I was, though, perhaps via smell. Didn't see a vet, so no chance of talking prognosis. He's having a heart scan tonight.

££££££££££. Thank Christ for PetPlan.

DS also had his first ever after-school drama class. I was sitting outside, and heard a child crying, then his name shouted. I found out at the end that it was him, crying for me. Though by the end he was having a great time. It was a free taster, now not sure whether to sign him up or not!

hattymattie Thu 28-Nov-13 20:11:27

BTM - my friend's son used to always remove his helmet round the corner from the house and various mothers from school would spot him and text his father. Spies along the route quite effective as described by lalsy.

Herb's - hope your Kitty pulls through - you make him sound like Bagpuss smile. I'd go for the drama class - sounds like he loved it once he got used to the idea.

Auriga Thu 28-Nov-13 20:46:09

Lalsy grin or threaten him that we'll shout after him about sex. Though the helmet cam may be the best wheeze.

Herbs, v sorry about dcat. Can't bear the thought of anything happening to ours and I speak as a former cat-hater, only reluctantly converted by dd. My DM was worse than I was. Just can't believe how much we love her now. We drink up all the affection and even quite enjoy being bossed about. Hope yours will recover soon.

Stropps, hope you are managing to work and that you get some sleep tonight.

Crem, good to hear your recovery is progressing and well done on Christmas. I haven't even managed sisters' b'day presents yet...

bigTillyMint Thu 28-Nov-13 21:45:25

Herbs, what did he say about doing it again? And hope your kitty is OK.

Stropps, did the HoY do anything today?

Stropperella Thu 28-Nov-13 22:45:18

Gah, HoY still didn't speak to dd. Truly, what is the bloody point, eh? Have rung Camhs and left a message asking about a referral for family therapy.

I have at least got some work done. And I have more coming in from a new customer. Also my area, so dh definitely can't do it and I don't want to turn it down, esp. as it's the first job from a client that first contacted me about a year ago. I can do this. I can. No, really, I can.


MrsSchadenfreude Thu 28-Nov-13 22:54:40

Head of Year is clearly a useless tit, Stropps. Can you go over his head, to the head (so to speak?). Yes, you can do the new work, Stropps. You know you can. And will do it well.

Herbs, poor pussy. sad I hope he has perked up in the morning. Love my pussies, their dear little furrinesses, their habit of fighting and leaving clumps of hair on the curtains and all over the sitting room floor, and dear Big Pussy who cannot sleep unless his paw is resting on my foot. Cats are wonderful.

I am going back to the dentist tomorrow and think he will take my tooth out. Am a bit fed up with this, and dull job.

rubyrubyruby Fri 29-Nov-13 05:21:13

I can see I've missed a lot on the thread this week.

Strops, you CAN do it, sorry things are so tough atm. Sound advice as usual from the crepeys.

I really hope poor cat is ok Herbs. It's heartbreaking losing a pet.

I'm shock at driver not stopping BTM!
Helmets? tricky, and a subject I avoid getting involved in tbh but it's given me an idea for a Christmas present.

BD - I think DS may have it spot on about job location. Perhaps you need to take that final step? or possibly not.

Blackduck Fri 29-Nov-13 07:28:32

Stropps YES you can grin

Ruby - I know..... Head explodes with pressure. I am so scared of making the wrong decision which is all tied up with a period when I didn't work (had made wrong job move and HAD to leave) and got majorly depressed...

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 08:31:54

BD, I do think stuff with work in the past can v much affect how we feel about current jobs and that isn't necessarily constructive (see Monday's badly-handled row with client blush). Can you disentangle that and see how it's another situation and indeed stage of your life?

Mr Inferior has gone off to work in major huff because he can't find his phone and it's on silent so he can't ring it either. This took the form of Blaming Me For Untidiness, which is a bit rich as I'm actually quite tidy. Apparently I "made him get rid of the magazine rack". I have no memory of this. Makes me want to go and find his phone and hide it somewhere REALLY secret.

And the cat brought in TWO rodents this morning. grin

Blackduck Fri 29-Nov-13 08:56:19

I am trying to work out how getting rid of the magazine rack is connected to his missing (silent) phone!!

BTW he needs an iphone and an ipad with 'find my phone' on it ;)

Yes MI so true...... My behaviour says 'no'. but then why can't I just say 'no'?

herbaceous Fri 29-Nov-13 09:25:53

I'd hide it where the sun don't shine.

DP back from three-day work trip, and I've noticed again how relentlessly negative he is with DS. It's all sulking, shouting, tutting, etc. Then he gets upset when DS says he wants me, not Daddy. Cue more sulking. I've tried hinting at this problem, but to no avail. A 'conversation' may be on the cards.

bigTillyMint Fri 29-Nov-13 09:26:30

Stropps, get that email sent! And can you do it? Yes you can!

BD,there is no reason why this should be the same, but even if it was, you got over that and moved on. Think positive, whatever your decisionsmile

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 09:43:35

I have purchased my first Christmas item!!!!

(A packet of colourful bath ducks for stockings...blush but hell, it's a start)

Blackduck Fri 29-Nov-13 09:59:48

Oh Herbs, yes, nip that in the bud. I do (occasionally - like last night) have to slap dp round the head for his behaviour - he is a wind up merchant, which is fine, to a degree, but not when ds is having a sensitive moment.....

herbaceous Fri 29-Nov-13 10:02:51

I'm not perfect. I do shout at him, or get frustrated when he won't get dressed for school, etc, but it's a short-lived telling off, then we're friends again. DP lets it fester for ages. He's like that with me too, but at least I've finally (after about seven years) worked out that he's not actually permanently cross with me, but just moody. DS doesn't have that cognitive luxury.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 10:45:09

Ha yes, moody men and the "What have you done with my...?"

I am going to ask to leave this job and be moved to something else. I drafted a paper three weeks ago, it has been chewed over and rewritten by everyone, and I have just worked out that we are on version 15. What is this exciting paper on, I hear you cry? It is to establish the date of a meeting between two eminent people. That is all. We are not on the substance of the meeting yet.

And I have the dental appointment from hell hanging over me.

bigTillyMint Fri 29-Nov-13 11:09:13

Courage, MrsS, courage!

And WTAF about drafting papers to invite people to meetings??? Is this what people do all day in the "real" world (that teachers are obviously not inwink)?!

Thank God DH is not a sulker. Infact none of us are - we shout disagree and move on. But he is a wind-up merchant.

herbaceous Fri 29-Nov-13 11:15:32

Yes Mrs S - what's wrong with sending an invitation in Outlook, like modern people do? Would the Very Important People implode if the invitation wasn't presented on embossed vellum on a silver salver?

Have signed DS up for the drama classes, at vast expense. He claims he wants to go back, and it would be good for his confidence.

Awaiting news of cat. Poor old boy, stuck in his cage.

Auriga Fri 29-Nov-13 12:34:30

Herbs, I had to tell DH (and model) that he didn't need to be whiny, negative or critical with DD. He (we both) got very good at phrasing things positively when saying 'no' wasn't an option. Saying 'please do this' instead of 'stop doing that' was a good start. It came as a revelation to DH (don't let me get started on the subject of MIL).

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 12:47:51

I am howling at the idea of sending an invitation in Outlook. No, no, no. The embossed paper and silver salver still rule here.

I still have my tooth! Dentist said that the infection will never go completely but a) it has been largely, but not entirely, killed by the metronidazole and shouldn't give me any immediate problems and b) if it does come back with a vengeance, he will reconsider taking it out. I asked him what he would do in my circumstances, and he said, hang onto the tooth. It is stable and I am not in pain, and the infection has diminished. He assured me that the infection is entirely contained to that tooth, and unlikely to spread any further.

bigTillyMint Fri 29-Nov-13 13:02:23

Herbs, I think your DS will love drama. And maybe musical theatre?

MrsS - serious? (re the embossed vellum...) And glad to hear you are not a toothless hag. Yet!

hattymattie Fri 29-Nov-13 13:38:36

Have been to search for elusive French Christmas present for friend in London at Galeries Lafayette.

Have headache! Really can't take the pace anymore.

herbaceous Fri 29-Nov-13 13:43:28

Ooh yes - musical theatre is my ultimate aim for him. The lead in Oliver, for example, on Broadway. Though the Artful Doger would do. This drama group does do singing, so the West End beckons.

Right. Cat home from the hospital. His face is still all oddly swollen, so he looks like a Klingon, and though he now responds to a bright light is still nearly blind. He is confined to the kitchen, and has so far jumped on to the counter top, from there to the table, and back again. Pretty miraculous for one with no sight.

He's improved slightly since yesterday, so the hope is this is the start of an upward trajectory.

Re DP and grumpiness towards DS, I've bought a number of books and read out pertinent passages in a significant manner. Some of it goes in, but when he's rushed for work, for example, it all goes out the window.

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 13:52:48

Yay to the upturn in the cat and MrsSgrin

DP has sent me an email apologising for being --an arse- stressed this morning. Continuing the dental theme, he is taking DD1 to have her braces removed later <drumroll>

Blackduck Fri 29-Nov-13 14:31:57

I have realised I need to do the tree and pack, and sort the house all this weekend, as next weekend we go to the in-laws prior to flying off to Mexico -

I do apprecitate this is a first world problem, but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 14:59:59

Herbs, my cat has two working eyes and four paws and cannot jump onto the bed without falling off. (I have helpfully put a box at the bottom of the bed to help him get there without losing his dignity or ripping the sheets.) He is not old, either.

Yes, BTM, deadly serious re the paper! (Although we may send an e-copy in advance.)

herbaceous Fri 29-Nov-13 15:04:36

He's just walked up the stairs, jumped on to the desk, avoiding all detritus thereon, walked behind the computer, then got on my lap. Either he's not blind at all, or he's been blind for ages and has mapped out the entirety of the house, including placement of teacups on desk.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 15:06:51

He's having you on, Herbs. Mine has just jumped onto the sofa (he can manage that) and has knocked the remote control and a pile of magazines onto the floor...

bigTillyMint Fri 29-Nov-13 15:12:20

How do you test if a cat is blind?

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 15:16:23

MrsS. that's worse than the job I stomped out of a while back where we had to devise a timetable to accommodate when exactly every effing blinding person in the senior hierarchy could read a few fecking thousand words, because obviously the idea of reading was massively difficult yet at the same time they couldn't just relinquish their stake on a mag that two perfectly competent journalists were producing for them...

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 15:23:16

Oh and I got told off because there was a mistake in the paper and I should have proof read it properly (there was a full stop instead of a comma - the result of some cut and pasting). I said, rather sarkily, that I had seen so many versions of the paper that I felt I was going word-blind looking at it, which was why the mistake had been made. So I had to withdraw the paper and re-issue it, apologising profusely for the earlier typo. Is this good use of my time?

Blackduck Fri 29-Nov-13 15:24:22

MrsS - no....

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 16:27:05

Oh, there is nothing like being patronised to make the week go with a swing, I find.

I also realise there's a full stop instead of a comma in my post above. Oh dear. Yeah. Right.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 16:27:10

I've worked out that if they were paying me for my time, this piece of work would have cost almost £4,500 by now...

Auriga Fri 29-Nov-13 17:54:28

MrsS, none of this sounds like a good use of your time. How is the novel coming along?

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 18:19:32

Mr Inferior has found his phone but is now treating my suggestion that I go to Aldi after supper as something entirely up to me as a jolly outing I will enjoy. I do it to save money rather than relying on Ocado, ffs. And he hasn't even placed an Ocado order in the first place so if I don't we'll STARVE.

Don't even start me on the childcare he hasn't arranged for a hole in Thursday's arrangements <fume> - his latest was he 'couldn't read' my email with various telephone contact numbers on it. I bet he rings all the kids who've now gone to university. Hah.

<feels murderous>

hattymattie Fri 29-Nov-13 19:46:45

MI - may I just take you back a bit - the magazine rack - was that where he kept his phone or did you leave too many magazines lying about without it thus hiding his phone? <idle curiosity>

bigTillyMint Fri 29-Nov-13 19:53:13

I now have 3 huge teen boys in the house - sleeping over. DH is going to collect DD from gym early so she can be in charge - Ha Ha - and we are meeting friends in the pub. Am I being a neglectful mum? The pub is only up the road and I neeeeed a drinksmile

Yes, MI, what has the magazine rack got to do with it? And DH used to think food shopping and cooking were my hobbies. It took a lot of shouting convincing to put him straight and I still think he thinks I enjoy themconfused

hattymattie Fri 29-Nov-13 20:08:58

BTM - no they need to know you can trust them a little bit plus it gives them a bit of time off from supervision. Not neglectful at all, go to pub.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 20:22:45

I am going out tomorrow with Stylish Parisian Friend and her new Stylish Parisian Husband. I have this to wear in the brown. It comes to just sort of on/above the knee (too high for me to wear tights with it) - do you think I could wear some kind of jeggings/thick leggings and boots with it? I have considered jeans, which look fine underneath it, but don't have a pair that will stay up at the moment as I have lost weight. (I hate to admit it, but I suspect it is not drinking for weeks and weeks because of the blasted antibiotics that has resulted in falling down jeans - and they do fall right down as well.)

What think?

herbaceous Fri 29-Nov-13 20:27:00

Why not tights? Of the thick and forgiving variety, of course.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 20:28:23

(My legs are large and muscular but not overly fat, if that helps.)

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 29-Nov-13 20:29:40

What - like thick ribbed tights, Herbs? Yes, that's an idea. Psychologically I think I would feel better with some kind of trouser underneath though.

motherinferior Fri 29-Nov-13 20:41:53

A legging (get me with the singular) would give the tights effect but still reassure?

I think the magazine rack was invoked because he was looking in a pile of (his) Stuff and I vaguely remember he used to bung Stuff in a collapsing magazine rack. Thus the rack gave, allegedly, a chimera of tidiness...

...except DD2 points out he did actually destroy the rack himself, in a huff. I think it was falling to bits - he's not usually given to gratuitous violence - but in any case that was about four years ago.

Poor old DD1 is v sad because they're not taking her braces off yet after all.

CointreauVersial Fri 29-Nov-13 22:05:53

Footsore and weary, but I survived my day at Bluewater. Actually, there was quite a convivial atmosphere about the place, and the shops were awash with Black Friday sales. A fair number of people on my Christmas list have been ticked off, thank goodness.

But is it so wrong that the item I'm most excited to have come home with is this. Two revolting black patches of persistent mould in the corner of both DD1's and DD2's rooms, which had resisted repeated scrubs with bleach.....vanished before my eyes! Chuffed to bits. grin

I was very tempted by this parka. Beautifully heavy and cosy. <adds to Christmas list>

No class hamster this weekend, because he escaped from his cage last night, and is currently roaming around the school. shock

bigTillyMint Sat 30-Nov-13 07:08:24

Navy thick ribbed tights or leggings, MrsS?

Lakeland, CV? A true sign of crepey-dom! And the parka does look cosy. And a lucky escape from the hamster, in more ways than one!

We came home not long after 11 last night to.... DD tucked up in bed and asleep and the boys snuggled up in bed together in the loft, watching TV! No sign of any damagesmile

beachyhead Sat 30-Nov-13 07:29:13

Love that parka CV. Mrs S, I would have thought tights would be OK from above knee to boot top. Trousers underneath will feel a bit runchy. Lovely dress, BTW.

I, too, am in tooth hell. My failed root canal, which must have been six months ago, has re-erupted and I'm on metronidazole as well, which are making me feel beyond awful. They upset my stomach and make me very over tired. I was in bed at 8.15pm last night. Still, I may get huge trouser falling down weight loss like Mrs S, which would be a result.

I'm sorry about your cat, Herbs. My dog was 'rolled over' last weekend on the beach, and she's dislocated her knee cap. Ouch! She's on bed rest (impossible) and may need surgery. So between her knee cap and my root canal, I think Christmas is going to be VERY frugal this year!!

I'm very behind on Christmas shopping... I need to get going!

herbaceous Sat 30-Nov-13 08:32:02

I'm no doubting the cat is blind at all. He seems perfectly normal, apart from the oddly swollen head. Well, as normal as he ever is.

I'm rather vexed. The way the vet was talking, I could quite easily have opted to have him put down as he was going to lead a miserable life. Instead, he's got another five years in him of driving me to distraction.

motherinferior Sat 30-Nov-13 09:40:09

That's the thing with cats. They drive you to tears of different types ALL THE TIME.

Cremolafoam Sat 30-Nov-13 12:05:57

Lovely parka cv

Yes to cats making you weep .
Small grey cat brought in a half demolished robin last night and laid it on the pillow. shock the cat was drenched and the robin flapping.
What a delight. This morning ( after ignoring the middle of the night ruckus) there are robin feathers all over the carpet , and the grey cat is sleeping like a baby on the duvet, her fur all crimped and pretty from the rain. Sigh

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 30-Nov-13 15:06:01

I made the mistake of going to Oxford Street with DD1 this morning. We got there early, but nothing went right. I tried on about 15 pairs of jeans in M & S and the Fat Shop <shudder> and none were quite right. There was one pair in M & S that Would Have Done, but they didn't have any long fitting ones, and after great scrutiny, I decided that the medium was just a bit too short. Lovely tights and thick leggings in John Lewis but either none in my size or none in the colour I wanted. So I went home in a rage, and went to Tesco, which put me in more of a rage. I have tackled half the kitchen and am having a Nice Cup of Tea before finishing it. Have shouted at the DDs (why do they never do anything unless I shout) and they are sorting through their piles of crap, which should give us a bit more space. DD2's drawer seems to be entirely full of odd socks which can't possibly fit her any more, so I have told her to throw them all out, and am robustly ignoring pitiful wails about making sock puppets and craft stuff.

I am also due on, and lunch consisted of pork pie and custard doughnut. So much for the gourmet.

bigTillyMint Sat 30-Nov-13 15:31:00

Oh yes, MrsS, that was a mistake - Oxford Street in the run up to Christmas, yuck!

I had a nice leisurely catch-up with a friend over a few cups of vanilla tea in our local tea emporiumsmile

And the whole day teen-free as DS is paintballing and DD at gymsmile

And the back wall is finally going up! I am soooo happy. The gardener who did a quote about 9 months ago (and must have thought I had given him the slip) is coming back tomorrow to do a new quote as I have changed my mind a bit about what to do and everything will cost more now anywaywink

CointreauVersial Sat 30-Nov-13 17:16:31

Ooh, having your garden wall back will make all the difference, BTM. They aren't cheap though.

More shopping today, believe it or not. I had to take DH's car for a service, and "kill time", so the gaps on my Christmas list which I didn't manage to fill yesterday have now been taken care of. This included the annual trip to Bon Marche (a.k.a. the "Pensioner's Primark") for MIL.

Meanwhile, DH and DS had a touchline row at football this morning, and are now not speaking. I have sympathies with DS in this case; DH gets very fired up, especially when the team are losing, and takes it upon himself to offer helpful tips at full volume as to how DS might play better. DS does not take this well, on the whole. grin Unfortunately, both of them are very stubborn, so this one could run and run........

bigTillyMint Sat 30-Nov-13 17:31:27

Its London stocksmile Looks lovely - their wall, they had to get party wall agreement and tear the back of our garden down. That's where the quote/compo comes inwink

Sympathies to your DS - DH is very hard on DS about his footy, and gets very fired up too. Not a good combo!

DS is still not back from paintballing. Hope he is not lying in a puddle of paint in the woods!

motherinferior Sat 30-Nov-13 17:37:55

I have still done no more Christmas shopping grin

QueenQueenie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:06:48

I am confident I will win the prize for least christmas shopping done so far:

1 pannetone
1 cushion
1 shower gel
1 fountain pen.

QueenQueenie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:07:38

Do I win a mince pie?
Or maybe a trip to Oxford Street on 23rd December?

hattymattie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:11:37

Wow CV - sounds like the sort of Dad you see in various TV films. Luckily DH hates football and so does DS so I don't have to suffer this sort of problem.

I do think your DH, as the adult, should maybe climb down. smile

hattymattie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:12:37

We are having quite night in with M&M's, Stricktly and Atlantis. DD2 has been to see Hunger Games and I've just had a text saying how brilliant it is.

motherinferior Sat 30-Nov-13 18:15:29

QQ - my packet of bath ducks trumps you, I reckon.

I may get frenzied with the online shopping tomorrow.

bigTillyMint Sat 30-Nov-13 18:18:06

Oh yes, MI - It's Black Friday weekend, doncha know?!

QueenQueenie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:20:19

OK. You win MI... You can go to Oxford street on 23rd December...

QueenQueenie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:21:58

Yup, BTM, it's dh who needs to make up.

hattymattie Sat 30-Nov-13 18:46:34

..; blush 'quiet' night in and 'Strictly'. <slinks offline>

QueenQueenie Sat 30-Nov-13 19:21:13

GAH. Apologies, meant CV not BTM re apologising husbands.

bigTillyMint Sat 30-Nov-13 19:24:12

Oh QQ, DH is always offending one of us, so he does need to apologisegrin

herbaceous Sat 30-Nov-13 20:34:12

Excuse me. In Xmas shopping slacking trumps, I win. A grand total of:

...... 0 .....

Gifts bought. Similar to the amount of fucks given about the whole event.

Drunken-ness from 'late lunch' could account for this feistiness.

bigTillyMint Sat 30-Nov-13 20:35:42


CointreauVersial Sat 30-Nov-13 21:42:00

Hattie, QQ, you are quite right. But you used the words "DH" and "adult" in the same sentence.....

DS is now insisting that