Help Help Help - I've aged so much!

(43 Posts)
Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 17:14:30

God I need help. not yet 40, just lost a bit of weight and whilst happy about that I've aged so much! I look at least 45. It just doesn't seem like me when I look in the mirror and see all the wrinkles, droopy eyes, eyebags etc staring back at me!

Help needed on two points - anti - ageing strategy, creams, botox? etc

How to just accept growing my rapidly declining looks without feeling so bloody down about it!

I'm new to this board and anti ageing, I know I should have started years ago. I have sensitive skin and have just stuck with the same cheap moisturisers I know I can tolerate for years. Also makeup - I need new makeup no doubt, where can I learn about that?

Really appreciate any advice out there!

AmandaPandtheNightmareMonsters Wed 02-Oct-13 17:15:30

What make up do you currently use - the experts on here will want to know...

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 17:23:46

Cheap Loreal foundation - luminere or something I think - no concealer as my skin is really clear but I think I need something for under my eyes now which does accentuate the wrinkles. I have a bare minerals bronzer which I really like and a loreal deep bronzy red blusher. It's my eyes which I really need to change - my make up looks too heavy now - eyeliner and eyeshadow - plummy colours (It used to look great sad ) Light shimmery lipstick (I have quite full lips dark shades look too much)

I have longish blonde hair (dyed) and wonder if this is ageing me - though I always felt so drab when I went darker. God I'm so depressed...

Mumelie Wed 02-Oct-13 17:44:05

Feel your pain - it happened to me too! I lost a few stone and aged 10 years overnight - esp my eyes. My dyed blonde hair has gone a little darker with lowlights which has helped reduce the shadows.
I just got colour matched at the No7 counter and the foundation they sold me does look a lot better on my skin than what I had, much lighter in texture. Maybe try that.
Hope someone can come along an recommend something to conceal the undereye bags/wrinkles/dark circles [shocked]

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 18:07:56

mumelie thank you for the sympathy and advice.

Life's a bitch isn't it! Was looking forward to showing off my new figure on a night out this weekend then realised I have turned middle aged over night!

evertonmint Wed 02-Oct-13 18:17:33

What's your skincare routine?

Vintagebeads Wed 02-Oct-13 18:17:48

On the concealer,I used Touch Eclait for ages and I now use the Aldi concealer pen,I noticed no difference in coverage,so it makes the Aldi one great value.
It would suit you as you have clear skin,and it helps brighten under the eyes.

feelinlucky Wed 02-Oct-13 18:31:50

Hi op, I also feel your pain. I absolutely look my best and get compliments when I've exercised, drank plenty of water and had a good sleep. My skin looks amazing after a good cardio workout. Also, have done Botox if you're not against it. I love it. The only downfall is I can't always afford it. It doesn't make a crazy difference but definitely contributes to the overall look. I only have my elevensies and it does make me feel a whole lot better. I've used all manner of moisturisers but nothing beats oil of olay. A good primer under your foundation and always put concealer/highlighter under your eyes. I am a complete aldi's own convert.

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 19:22:22

Thanks all. everton i don't really have one, remove makeup with cleanser on a night, moisturise ( oil of olay everday stuff) on a morning. I need to get around to exfoliating as I know it makes a difference. vintage i don't have an Aldi locally but will try and seek one out for the concealer, does it look like touche eclat, will I know which one it is?

feelin I'm doing the exercise and water, I could definitely use more sleep!

I'm not against botox but was hoping i'd get past 40! The worst area is directly under my eyes, assume there was a fat pad there and now I lost weight it's several deep wrinkles when I smile. Can they inject the skin under the eyes, looks delicate?

How much does it cost, how long does it last? I imagine it's addictive.

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 19:28:18

Have taken a load of selfies ( updating profile pic on Linkedin) horrifying! Having looked through them, the blonde has got to change, looks too much now. Bugger as I only had it done last week!

Christ how can this happen so quickly, misspent youth catching up with me and too little care too late? I should have listened to my mother!

GobblersKnob Wed 02-Oct-13 19:38:19

Buy this and do it every day without fail.

Lagoonablue Wed 02-Oct-13 19:41:46

Cut your hair shorter? Have a fringe? Can often work wonders.

Littlefiendsusan Wed 02-Oct-13 20:08:21

Yy to the fringe suggestion,I've been told I look younger with my new fringe (took the hairdresser a while to get it how I liked though) ,and my wrinkly forehead is hidden.

Intrigued about your nn op, is it Bb inspired?

Vintagebeads Wed 02-Oct-13 20:14:20

The Aldi one is like touche eclait,it's in pen all black.
The thing with Aldi is they don't do selection,in anything so you will have no problem mixing it up with something else. smile

sighbynight Wed 02-Oct-13 20:31:06

I have recently found that changing the light above the bathroom mirror for a lower wattage bulb has made me look much, much better. And inexpensive compared to botox. grin

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Wed 02-Oct-13 20:40:38

Gobblers, am intrigued seeing that link; I've often looked in to facial exercises as Botox is never going to be an option for me, but whichever system you look at there always seems to be someone claiming it made their face worse, or that the guru has had surgery.

How long have you been doing it? Does it really work?
(Sorry to hijack, op).
Oh, and can you plump out sunken eyebags? smile

Vibbe Wed 02-Oct-13 20:45:01

Touche eclat is not really a concealer. It's more of a highlighter.

It would be far easier to help if you showed a picture. But I also completely understand why you might not want to on a public forum.

Loads of makeup artists like Wayne Goss, Lisa Eldridge and so on have done videos of makeup for mature skin. I'll find some links if you want them.

General ideas could be:
Push liner instead of eyeliner. I can find a link to a video if you don't know what it is.
Lighter eyeshadows - not too light though.
Eyeshadows with less glitter.
Blusher that matches your lipstick - a lighter colour can look more youthful and the two things matching more will tie the whole look together.
Lipstick that's a tone darker than your lips ('my lips but better' kind of colour) - and without too much shimmer.
Maybe your brows could do with colouring and shaping. The older we get, the thinner the brows tend to get. So brows in the right colour and not too thin can look very youthful.
A proper concealer (there are videos on the internet for concealing).
Highlighting and contouring (videos can also be found for this).

If you're not using SPF on a daily basis, you should - even if some damage has already been done.
And the ingredients and other things that actually make a difference:

BigDomsWife Wed 02-Oct-13 21:02:38

I started using 100% organic Argan Oil and ditched the chemical rich moisturisers. For me it has worked, Im told I look younger and feel young. You can use it on your Hands, face Neck as well as Hair, for the Mummy Tummy stretched skin. It is the Beez.

Mumelie Wed 02-Oct-13 21:02:49

Yes yes to a fringe - I'm having one cut in next week - cheaper than Botox (for now)!

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 21:18:15

sighby grin i have considered getting rid of all the mirrors. Thanks for all the responses and links. Will look into the facial exercises. If I can do then at the same time as clenching my pelvic floor I'll solve two problems at once.

Thank you for the makeup tips vibbe I'll get on youtube and do some research. I do paint on my brows but think they are too dark and harsh at the mo.

I've spent 5 years growing my hair out from a short cut but will have a look at a fringe, anything that will help!

little yes bb, i know it's wrong isn't it. No spoilers please I'm only on series three!

Lots to look into tomorrow, can't turn back time but hopeful now I can make some improvements thanks smile

HappyGirlNow Wed 02-Oct-13 21:40:17

Jesse, I have one word for you - FILLERS! Get them in your cheeks, they'll lift your whole face and get rid of the crepey skin. I'm 40 and that was exactly my problem too.. Seriously, it's amazing. Botox won't help loss of fullness..

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 21:48:26

Thank you! As you're happynow assume they worked. Will also look into. This is my new favourite board on MN will be hanging out here lots!

HappyGirlNow Wed 02-Oct-13 21:54:44

It's amazing and instantaneous! Best thing ever grin

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 21:56:07

How much? How long do they last and where do you get them done?

HappyGirlNow Wed 02-Oct-13 22:06:42

It was £300 for cheeks and she used a little of that to inject the sides of my mouth as they were downturned. I had mine done 3 months ago - believe it lasts 8 months to a year. It's a skin rejuvenation clinic run by a nurse.

Jesseismysecretcrush Wed 02-Oct-13 22:18:41

Thanks happy will investigate. Right I'd better earn some money!

First plan of attack:

Better face cream
Make up lessons ( youtube)
More sleep
Tone down hair colour, look into new cut.
Look into facial exercises.

I will do all of above and some new selfies in a month to assess difference - thinking this will be a fun experiment.

If still shocking look into botox and fillers!

helzapoppin2 Wed 02-Oct-13 22:31:03

Apparently your hair can make a big difference. I would make an appointment at somewhere good and put yourself their hands. It sounds like your colour could go richer with a mixture of tones, basically blonde, but with some lowlights. Also maybe the style needs softening, or a couple of inches off the length.
The other big thing is eyebrows. I think they need to be defined to frame the eyes, but not strident! The best pencil I've found for blondes is the hazel one by Rimmel.
I am way older than you but wouldn't go down the Botox route. I lived in America! Enough said?

Flo56 Thu 03-Oct-13 07:30:35

I would move a new hair-do to the top of your list. The right cut can take years off you.

Do you know what colours suit you? That makes a huge difference too. I know some people insist they can wear black but I think it's ageing on everyone. Pay for advice if you're not sure.

And personally I think Botox is a waste of money. People obsess about wrinkles but they aren't the only - or even the worst - sign of ageing. If I had a choice between jowls or wrinkles, I would take the wrinkles any day.

helzapoppin2 Thu 03-Oct-13 08:24:45

So that's new hair for a start. I would have a make up counter makeover somewhere like Mac.
Colours! Do a bit of internet research or get them done. That knowledge is for life! Wearing the right colours make a huge difference, and it's economical because you don't end up buying stuff that doesn't suit you.
flo56 I completely agree with you re the Botox. I'd spend the money on hair, cosmetics, clothes.

evertonmint Thu 03-Oct-13 10:38:56

Sorry I didn't come back on the skincare - was out last night.

I would consider the hot cloth cleansing method - basically any cleanser you like put on to a dry face, massaged in then washed off using a flannel or muslin soaked in hot water. The flannel is exfoliating so you may find that doing this morning and night quite quickly has an effect and you don't need to do much extra exfoliating.

Follow with a serum and a good moisturiser. Sunscreen is a must for day time (at least SPF15, more in summer), but your night time moisturiser shouldn't include SPF.

At night if you have been wearing make up and sunscreen you need to double cleanse (basically do it twice) to get rid of the products before serum/moisturiser.

I have recently added in the Clarins exfoliating toner followed by a hydrating toner (after cleanse, before serum) and this has already made my skin even smoother. Definitely worth considering this product.

I started this routine about 5 months ago and my skin is vibrant and smoother, no longer tired or as wrinkly/dehydrated and I get lots of compliments on it for the first time in years (I'm 37). Caroline Hirons, linked to by Vibbe, is the guru on this. You should check out her cheat sheet on routines. She is quite a fan of high end products but there are loads of good high street products (I use mainly Superdrug own brand, Boots Botanics and Body Shop stuff) - the routine is the important thing.

evertonmint Thu 03-Oct-13 10:40:58

Oh, and I'm another "fringe to hide wrinkles" convert smile

Jesseismysecretcrush Thu 03-Oct-13 16:49:09

Thank you so much for all the great advice! Totally agree on the hair though that will have to wait a few weeks having just shelled out £80 on it last week don't think OH would be best pleased if I went back the following week for restyle. Can probably get away with it in a month when the roots are showing!

Okay well I'm not near a big town so have just popped into the local boots today and got a few things to try.

Collection 2000 illuminator pen (seen recommended on here I think) - has made a difference to the shadows

New lipgloss

Nivea Q10 eye cream and night cream

Lighter shade of eyebrow pencil (Hazel Rimmel!)

I'm still not sure what to do about eyeliner and lashes - my lashes are very short and I usually wear falsies when I go out but I definitely need to stop that now as I'm starting to look like a drag queen. (Feel like I've gone from glam to Bett Lynch.) I usually wear black or brown eyeliner on my lower lids, haven't today for a change and feel a bit naked, what's the consensus on eyeliner?

I will have a look at all the online makeup links etc, I need to completely re-educate myself. Will have to start practicing makeup again of an evening, like a teenager smile

Thank you for the advice on skincare, I will start new routine tonight!

AmandaPayneVersusThePainballer Thu 03-Oct-13 16:54:57

Eyeliner on lower lids, or worse in a circle all round you eye, is very ageing. It will take a little while to get used to it, but try and ditch it. A neat upper line is much more chic as you get older. Also, a gentler mascara, not the thick clumps teens get away with!

Jesseismysecretcrush Thu 03-Oct-13 17:02:50

Umm all round eye and thick clumpy mascara! blush

Would a liquid liner be better, rather than the smudged thing I have going on at the moment and if so should I avoid black?

AmandaPayneVersusThePainballer Thu 03-Oct-13 17:06:15

Yes, avoid black for daytime. Especially under the eye. Unless you are dark skinned, in which case ignore me. Brown is likely to be more flattering.

Try a soft pencil with a slim line just on your top lid. Tiny flick up at the end, but nothing dramatic. Or if you buy one of those nice eyeliner brushes it is actually easy to do with a dark eyeshadow. Dry brush gives a softer day look. Damp brush a defined line for evenings.

All round the eye and on the inner lid closes down your eyes and makes them look smaller. Also, as you get older, has an unfortunate tendancy towards making you look like a tough-no-nonsense East Enders character. Some lucky souls can pull it off, but tis rare.

VenusDeWillendorf Thu 03-Oct-13 17:07:13

Lisa Eldridge does some lovely web video makeup tutorials on her website.
She has lots of different categories, and one big section on everyday make up and make up for more mature faces.

I love her tutorials as she's quite chatty and makes a lot of sense!

And the camera really shows how to apply the make up and the effects you can get by changing a look with a darker lip etc.

Jesseismysecretcrush Thu 03-Oct-13 17:11:19

Thank you no I don't wear black on lower lid or inside lid, but when I go out on upper lid.

I was just thinking that I'm giving the impression of being a bit Beverley Callard, Oh God maybe I DO look like that! -

thanks venus I'll have a look now. Time to banish the soap barmaid look!

Lazysuzanne Thu 03-Oct-13 17:34:04

Year round factor 50 sunscreen...since UV is responsible for most skin ageing!

Jesseismysecretcrush Thu 03-Oct-13 17:46:07


Brilliant website, just watched this one on eyes and brows as you get older

Vibbe Thu 03-Oct-13 18:25:47

I'd go for a brown mascara instead of the black one. I'm blonde and fair skinned, and black is too much for me for a day look.

The push liner is not as harsh looking as eyeliner and it really looks nice:
This is a video from Wayne Goss - he's a good makeup artist and I think he specialises in makeup for mature women.
I usually use Mac Mystery eyeshadow for this. And I use a brush from Mac as well.
If I want colour under the eye, I use the same colour lightly in the lower lashline. Not too much as it can make my eyes look really droopy and it tends to give some unfortunate shadow under the eye making me look old and tired.

Curling my lashes makes them look much longer and it opens up the eye which I find gives a more youthful look.

Jesseismysecretcrush Thu 03-Oct-13 20:50:48

Brilliant video, thanks vibbe I have one of those brushes from mac always wondered what it was for!

sighbynight Thu 03-Oct-13 21:57:49

I tried a free sample of AHA gel this evening - Revive from Space NK, But I'm sure more cost effective brands are available - and my face looks smooth and glowing. Or glowing for 40+ anyway. Even with the dimmed lighting. Worth a try? Sorry if it's already been mentioned.

PaulSmenis Thu 03-Oct-13 22:54:55

Thanks for this thread. I'm not even 40 and have rapidly gone down hill since losing a bit of weight, even though I don't smoke now.

I haven't been able to exercise since an op and nearly 5 weeks in it doesn't half show. How much is botox for 11's and forehead and eyes? I don't want to end up frozen and I'm scared of fillers.

I've invested in a good cut and colour every 6-8 weeks, diary allowing. That has made me feel a bit better, but I'm by no means flush. Damn these bad genes!

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