Share your best style tips please :-)

(135 Posts)

I have seen some really glamorous, put together mums in the last week, out and about. I can't seem to dress myself for when I am with the dds anymore hmm

If you look amazing at soft play and such like please tell me what you wear and where you shop. Tia

My best tip is to make sure your clothes actually fit properly. it's a much better put together look when things fit properly. It's so obvious when things are too big or too small and makes you look disheveled.

shaggyrogers Sun 28-Jul-13 19:44:08

What have the mums you have noticed been wearing?

leobear Sun 28-Jul-13 19:48:08

I wouldn't say I am glamorous, but I do try to follow three basic rules:
Always have eyebrows shaped and tinted
Blow dry hair
Wear a structured jacket!! No fleeces,unless you are heading up a mountain

peggotty Sun 28-Jul-13 19:49:39

Know and dress for your body shape.

Leobear - noted! I wore a fleece quite a bit last year hmm

Ok so the most amazing looking mum at soft play had a v simple right black vest and a black maxi skirt with a small floral pattern with black sandals. She had one length shoulder length blonde hair and she looked amazing though the clothes were quite ordinary if you see what I mean.
Then I saw a mum at the emergency doc yesterday in a black wide strapped vest and a knee length fitted skirt both of which were a perfect fit - she had short hair with oversized sunglasses. She wasn't especially young or model looking bit she made me feel v scruffy!
There's a theme here - the hair has lots to do with it hmm my hair looks shocking just now.
The last mum i saw was my hairdresser out with her baby. She had jeans and a Breton type too on with coral coloured sandals and one tiny coral flower hair clip that just pulled it all together. This got me thinking about accessories too...

cloudskitchen Sun 28-Jul-13 21:24:20

Accessorise! Most well put together people wear accessories. It turns clothes into an outfit grin

YoungBritishPissArtist Sun 28-Jul-13 21:44:28

I'm not a mum but I think people look 'pulled together' when;

Eyebrows are well groomed
Nails manicured with no chipped polish
Ditto toes, if they're visible

I personally think black trousers and bags are hard to pull off.

InMyShreddies Sun 28-Jul-13 22:20:19

Don't buy anything you don't LOVE, avoid impulse buys.

Keep your wardrobe very well edited, so eg in this heat be very clear what your options are for bottoms / tops / shoes, and just prioritise having clean good clothes on every day. Takes practise to feel ok about wearing your favourite top down Tesco, but it's a way of life and you'll feel great.

What would you like to be wearing when you're sitting admiring others? It won't be the same as them - it'll be either your favourite outfit, or perhaps you wish you were wearing those trousers you saw but didn't buy.

Edit your wardrobe is a good starting point, then identify gaps and fill them.

MangoJuiceAddict Sun 28-Jul-13 22:30:45

Always make sure clothes fit properly. A black maxi dress is amazingly flattering and looks instantly glamorous when paired with statement jewellery and smoky eye make-up. If hair is greasy and you don't have time to wash it either 1) Dry shampoo it 2)Wear up in a big bun and wear statement lipstick and plenty of mascara- the perfect make-up for a hair off face look. Always shape eyebrows- IME most people look better with a bit of eyebrow pencil/powder used to fill in their brows and create a more defined arch. Painting nails a classic red looks groomed and goes with most outfits- use a base and top coat and it should last a full 7 days. An oversized handbag is very flattering and can bring an outfit together. Statement jewellery is amazing. IMO the three most flattering (and easiest) hairstyles are- down and wavy, a half up half down hairstyle and a big bun. Always wear foundation, blusher, lipstick and mascara. Add eyeshadow, eyeliner, highlighter etc depending on the outfit (not occasion- smoky eyes can look great with a maxi dress whilst shopping and natural eye make-up can look great on a night out). Oil hair once a week- you'll be amazed how much shinier it is and how much faster it grows smile.

Last two posts really helpful. I have just done a big edit for work outfits - not sure why I can't achieve this for the rest if the time - I assume its because what I need to wear for work is v clear - smart casual with no low necklines or short skirts abs never any visible underwear - I have this cracked :-)
I am ok with my make up and nails I can do all that its just clothes - the make up seems to make it worse - my good make up looks weird with my scruffy clothes!
Half my problem is that I'm still bf so I can't wear a lot of things I own hmm

MangoJuiceAddict Sun 28-Jul-13 23:00:19

I BF my DD (many years ago now, but a fond memory!) and I know how difficult it is to find things that are flattering with milky breasts and what allows you to feed out and about. IME a stretchy t-shirt with a V-neck is good for this- the material can be stretched and hoicked about to feed and there isn't the worry of any buttons popping off. Wear with leggings, nice sandals, matching accessories and make-up to match shoes and accessories. IME breastfeeding isn't the most glamorous time in life but it is very special. Jeans, a plain top, oversized bag and ballet pumps is also simple but nice smile.

RainbowBob Mon 29-Jul-13 11:30:35

I think I am just repeating what everyone else is saying, but when I think of all the best dressed women I know, they all - without exception - have good hair. It could be a well-cut bob, a sharp crop, bouncy-blow-dried long hair or just a neat style, like a bun. I think accessories do pull an outfit together, but even accessories are superfluous, IMO, unless that person has good hair.

Sadly, I was blessed with a head of hair which refuses to be tamed by even the most powerful hair products. I also have no time to tend to said hair, and no money to go to the hairdressers so I am, quite literally, buggered.

Ok today I look ok. Black crop leggings with a grey empire billabong dress (much more simple and plain than it sounds) And printed Zara sandals and my sunglasses match the dress.
Hair is straight today but in general a big issue. I need to learn to put it up nicely but I have no idea! I have bought a bin ring though...

QueenCadbury Mon 29-Jul-13 12:50:30

I'm not sure I'm always put together but I know what you mean about seeing other put together mums. They always look so impossibly glamourous. For me I look best when I 've got clean hair (dry shampoo will give me an extra day!), clean clothes (no snot/porridge etc), nice accessories eg I may just have a tee and jeans on but I try to wear a coloured belt to give the outfit some interest, my watch and charm bracelet always make me feel more together, mascara and lippy and preferably tidy eyebrows! Now that my youngest is 2 it's getting easier whereas when they're little it's easy to think what's the point when they'll get milk stains/goo etc all over you.

Bf is a huge barrier to looking nice. I can't wear any nice dresses atm and am stuck in jeans and drapey tops. Good job it's not forever.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 29-Jul-13 14:28:45

accessorise - I have tons of cheap necklaces, earrings and bracelets ditto shoes and bags. I get away with cheap stuff cos I put it together well and am often told how nice I look blush which believe me being a big girl is not always said. if i feel nice in an outfit I usually look nice is my mantra so on bad hair days or days when I feel bad then i know I probably look rough too. I am a fan of matching stuff up though which some people disagree with.

Patterned chiffonny blouses with chest detailing - i.e. a bib ruffle or pussy bow - are great for looking more dressy than they are so cheer up jeans and flats, and they hide any spills better than blocked colour. Pair them with nice earrings and it's a lovely simple summery look.

Agree with everyone who said that eyebrows make all the difference.

What kind of hair do you have OP?

My hair is long and blonde and naturally wavy. If I straighten it I feel more groomed but that adds on blow drying and ironing I don't manage it that often.
I don't wear jeans v often as I'm v self conscious of tummy destroyed by two kids and two c sections plus I find jeans quite uncomfy. I rarely feel smart in leggings though.
A good grunts if mine always looks amazing and only shops in charity shops and primark.
I don't know where to begin with accessories I sort of have up with dd1 when she pulled earrings etc

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 15:03:30

Good regular hair cut (and colour). If you are on a limited budget, put as large a percentage of grooming budget into hair as you possibly can as it is the first thing everyone sees, you can't really disguise it. (Wish I could take my own advice on this - I absolutely loathe being pinned to a chair at the hairdresser's - almost phobic about it - so get in and out as fast as poss and use colour from a pkt!!)

Decent quality shoes and handbags. Shoes should be polished and not down at heel.

And well thought out accessories such as scarves and jewellery (these don't have to be expensive)

My own personal one - (but boring/classic dresser so may not appeal) is always have a well cut navy blazer/jacket that fits. Can dress up or down. Invaluable capsule wardrobe item.

And if you wear black always make sure you are well groomed, with polished shoes, brushed jacket shoulders and lapels, no frayed hems or missing buttons, or it looks tacky

Lay out clothes for the next day the night before together with all accessories, shoes, underwear jewellery, bag etc ...that way you can spot any missing buttons or tears, and have time to make small adjustments

Have access to a good-sized mirror in decent light

Invest in 3 or 4 good quality, well-fitting bras (at least two of which should be in nude colour)

Depending on life-style, always put together two "interview/wedding/christening/funeral/posh going out outfits" together per year at the beginning of the season. So around about now, put together posh outfit for winter, again with shoes/boots/tights, jewellery, bag etc etc and at end of March/beginning April make sure you have the equiv prepared for summer.

Every so often (every five years or so) go to department store and get free make-up consultation as skin tone gets paler as one ages.

Ring-fence one hour minimum per week to personal grooming: manicure, pedicure, face-pack, de-fluffing, eyebrows, fake tan etc etc (if I can be bothered, I usually do this late Sunday afternoon)

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 15:07:27

Oh and something I have learnt from living abroad

Invest more money in less clothes. Apparently we only wear a very small percentage of the items in our wardrobes anyway.

In offices in Belgium/France, the women wear virtually the same outfit all season and just add different little tops or scarves to go with it

(Realise this is not necessarily practical if you are sahm with porridge being flung at you every morning though.) But over-riding principle sound I think

Good grunts?! grin

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 15:10:51

Oh yes, lots of grunting involved here when getting dressed nowadays. grin

Long, blonde and wavy sounds lovely, as long as it isn't frizzy. I'd just get some hair accessories (Accessorize do lovely slides and clips that aren't childish) and rock it loose!

I hear you on tummy and jeans. I can see that dresses are a pita when breastfeeding, but I really think ditch the leggings - I've never seen them look groomed. Stick to pretty patterned high-waisted skirts and plain, breastfeeding-happy tops and blouses, then when the LO is weaned, treat yourself to some lovely smart peplum dresses.

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 15:19:50

Thought of one last tip

Have a big wardrobe clear-out re-organisation at least once a year and group clothes by colour or function . My clothes are all in a mess atm - hanging on backs of doors and stuffed in too-full drawers (have been up and down in size recently) and it makes it so much more of a palaver/effort to pull everything together. Must have major sort out in coming fortnight ...

SundaySimmons Mon 29-Jul-13 15:22:44

Iron your clothes, nothing looks worse than an item of clothing that looks obviously unironed.

Dirty and well worn footwear also looks grim. No matter how much you love them or how comfy they are a grubby pair of shoes or sandals looks revolting. As does dry skin/calloused feet in sandals.

lifesgreatquestions Mon 29-Jul-13 15:24:02

I second, etc., the wardrobe edit. Don't keep things that you don't like, that don't fit or flatter you AND that you never wear. If everything you keep 1) you like, 2) fits and flatters you and 3) you actually wear then what's left in your wardrobe should be safer for those times when you have to throw something on quickly.

any tips where to get a good fitting navy jacket? am 42 and a size 14....

Thanks everyone lots of sage advice I needed to hear grin
I hate throwing stuff out it feels v wasteful but I did manage 3 bags to the charity shop last week. I vowed every item that makes me feel crap when I put it on is going grin
It's scary though I have a huge wardrobe and chest of drawers with now hardly any clothes in them hmm
I seem to manage capsule wardrobes with dd1 quite well - then I have a mountain of various unwearable hand me downs....there is a theme of chaos and clutter that infects every area of my life!
I will endeavour to carry on with the wardrobe thinning - thanks for the nag about that I need it grin

My hair is stress itself. People will say oh get a shorter style - which would equal more styling time I don't have! Think I need to invest in and practice with a load of stuff from accessorise - maybe I will ask the girls in there grin
The rest of I accessories I'm scared to even tackle I have lots of things but somehow they are psychologically attached to my divorce somehow - I still wear my wedding earrings most of the time - god that's unhealthy isn't it! I think it's cos I think I don't have any other nice things. I'm not even that hard up I just have almost no independent shopping time and I don't know what to buy. I don't know what I want to even look like exceot im quite conservative and i dont like revealinh clothes. i did like a lot in the new boden book but its dear and I'm scared I will waste cash if I end up not wearing things enough. I def veer toward 60's inspired stuff.
It's just day wear I'm struggling with I was quite happy dressing for dates recently grin

neriberi Mon 29-Jul-13 16:19:58

I'm a huge fan of "the scarf" they have the ability to make a boring outfit look polished and can make you feel a bit more glam especially if the scarf is silk (imho), besides my mum always told me that it's not what you wear, it's how you wear it!

I work in London and see lots of polished ladies everyday, however there's one in particular who gets the same train as me and always looks effortless come rain or shine, she also has the most amazing collection of shoes and bags and great hair.

Paintyourbox Mon 29-Jul-13 16:27:35

Sounds like you need to try some online shopping OP. I take advantage of free postage offers and then try everything on when DD is asleep.

Also, if you find something that you really like, buy the same style in a few colours.

My biggest change was to stop keeping things for "best" and wear nice clothes every day. That and learning to properly blow dry my hair has massively changed how I look.

Parmarella Mon 29-Jul-13 16:32:10

I think accessories are a bad idea with small kids, they pull them!

For me wearing dresses was a discovery. I buy machine washable ones (mainly cotton or viscose). Underwear on, dress on, shoes on. Done!

Then again, I am not the sort of mum who ever went down the slide with her kids, I sort of watch from a respectful distance with a cup of tea!

I have some fab dresses from Whitecompany, Joules, Phaseeight, Mint Velvet, people tree (lovely stuff, a bit retro) etc.

If I want to avoid looking too mumsy, I wear them with cool ankle boots (not mum boots natch) and oversize scarf or card or leather jacket for warmth.

In winter, add tights and thermal vests.

Personally I like to mix it up (floral dress with biker jacket for example).

It has taken me years to find my own style, and now I stick to it. I rarely wear jeans as, actually, they rarely flatter me and are not actually that comfy.

YorkshireTeaGold Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:53

Totally off topic op but can I just ask why 2 c sections have affected your stomach muscles? Just that I've read a couple of similar comments on here and, as I'm having my second section soon am a bit scared! I looked fine after my first, am not a skinny Minnie and didn't "snap" back into shape but after a year and some diet and exercise I was ok. Did your second make a big difference?

Back on topic! Don't be afraid to unshop... I take back half the stuff I buy. If you love something get it and hang it on your bedroom door, if you don't still love it or wear it for a week or two, take it back. It takes the pressure off shopping.

Wibblytummy Mon 29-Jul-13 17:00:41

Any tips for an alternative on the blazer/jacket for big boobed? Blazers no matter how beautiful always make me look like Ms Trunchbull with these huge norks and a cardigan never feels groomed or pretty...

Yorkshire - actually I'm in much better shape than after dd1 - but I paid for a pt to sort out my figure - he has been amazing but my stomach skin isn't v firm despite being able to see my abs through it. I am worried I get a muffin top even if jeans are quite loose unless they have a higher waist. I need stretchy stuff to pull me in hence leggings under dresses make me feel quite slim but jeans and shorter tops make me quite paranoid.

Parma - I looked up people tree they are quite promising I liked lots of the clothes thanks grin

williaminajetfighter Mon 29-Jul-13 17:22:33

I think structured clothes make all the difference especially as we get older. Floaty skirts and tops look too dishevelled and far too 'Stevie Nicks'.

I also think dresses look best on me rather than trousers so go for a combination of Long sleeve dresses and some short sleeve with matching cardi but always good quality and with some structure. Wool or cashmere cardi where possible worn with tights and boots or heels is always an easy look.

For weekends I go for jersey dresses from the white company with leggings and boots or loafers.

Be careful with patterns as an be hard to pull off especialy some of the bonkers boden patterns Block colours are more classic and ensure you have some good block navy, black, beige and grey.

Good shops for classic clothes: Hobbs, jaeger. It's worth paying a bit more for quality than having loads of flimsy stuff from George at Asda. That's not meant to sound snobby it's just that ultimately you'll get more wear out of quality items.

Invest in a good quality coat for winter and mac for summer.

Good quality shoes and bags are key - that are well looked after.

Oooh I like the tunics at white company grin I'm finding this thread v helpful grin
I think more tunics and dresses and some boots are what I need to but this autumn

Pixiepie Mon 29-Jul-13 17:49:52

People always comment about how i am well turned out. Tbh, i love clothes but probably have had a few fashion mistakes. I dont bother with my eyebrows - plucking them that is. They have a good shape. I do take care of my skin and try to eat a healthy enough diet although i do have times of temptation but we all do! I have a full length mirror to check what i look like from behind and experiment with things. I love jewellery and always wear earrings or a necklace with my clothes and agree that this looks like you have made an effort.

dirtyface Mon 29-Jul-13 18:09:09

my one is more beauty related, but has changed my life

i had semi permanent eyebrows done (as mine have been almost none existent all my life)

i just look so much more groomed and put together, even when i have no other make up on.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Mon 29-Jul-13 18:19:26

I once read that the most important things are (in this order): hair, skin, figure. I'd agree. Skin probably includes good make-up and eyebrows.

I look better now in my thirties than I ever have before and I think it's down to finally sorting out the above.

Where did you get your eyebrows done and how much?

dirtyface Mon 29-Jul-13 18:46:36

a place called infinity hair and beauty in northampton

i think they have a few different branches though

just amazing, honestly, would recommend to anyone with shit eyebrows grin

I get my eyebrows done at a benefit brow bar. They can normally be found in the beauty department of big shops like Debenhams and House of Fraser.

Sorry, forgot to say about 12 quid.

FairyTrain Mon 29-Jul-13 18:55:18

Brilliant thread!
I had my "colours done" by House of Colour, sounds slightly middle aged (which I'm not!) but helped me work out the best colours that work for me. I now have a scarf that I can wear with fairly casual clothes and look amazing and dressed up as its exactly the rights colours for me. Was he best £99 i have spent.

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 19:21:43

Wibblytummy I am huge of nork and the trick to finding jackets is to find one that fits your shoulders (not your bust) and then wear it open (poss with a scarf) with dark toned top underneath. Has to be shapely fit though and not square or short or boxy in cut or it will flap open ifyswim and not lie flat to your sides. Also, always buy in dark colour or you end up looking like a baker well I do anyway. Wierdly, my best buy this year has been an M & S navy blazer for about 79 quid! Fits really well. Pepperberry is another option (I've never tried them personally- but lots of Mnsetters have recommended them.)

I second Wilheminia's recommendation of Hobbs and Jaegar and wearing more structured clothing as you age. YOu have to be more ruthless once you reach your mid-forties and cut out the froth and be wary of fly away hair and crumpled linen.

Am envy of your abs Hamwidge I think one of the best tricks of all to looking smart - whatever one's size - is keeping a good firm figure which I have singularly failed to do

mameulah Mon 29-Jul-13 19:26:06

As I am sitting in slippers, black leggings and an over sized top I don't think I have much to add.

Just to say, this is an awesome thread!

ShoeWhore Mon 29-Jul-13 19:34:57

My neighbour always looks very groomed - she always looks expensive even though I know she mixes very cheap and more expensive stuff together. She has quite a classic, neutral style (dare I say it, perhaps a tad boring?!), knows which shapes suit her and which don't and sticks to a fairly limited palette (lots of navy and tan, a little white and very occasional splash of red) which again is right for her colouring. She always always has immaculate blow dried hair and subtle makeup on too.

I'm a bit more adventurous and slapdash personally grin

LadyMilfordHaven Mon 29-Jul-13 19:56:39

my best style tup - make a flipping effort fgs.

You aren't dressing up " for something" you are making the best of yourself - you might decry it as shallow etc but jeez having kids isnt the end of your life.

LadyMilfordHaven Mon 29-Jul-13 19:57:04

agree - brows, brush your hair. iron your clothes. Plan what you are wearing etc

Parmarella Mon 29-Jul-13 20:00:09

Adventurous AND slapdash?

Picturing you like a female version of jack Sparrow now grin

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Mon 29-Jul-13 20:02:20

I feel like I wasted my twenties. I look back at pictures and I wore no make up and bought my clothes at Asda. I want to go back and slap myself! I know I had two little ones and breastfed for 4 years, but FFS!

BinksToEnlightenment Mon 29-Jul-13 20:35:07

I recommend growing your hair long. It's so much easier than short hair, I've discovered. For example, plait over to one side, couple of big silver clips at the base, wrap a nice scarf round your neck, stick your sunglasses on and boom! You look well French.

Keep them coming grin
Right I'm seeking out the eyebrow thing and making an appointment when I can. I think there's a salon here that does billion dollar brows grin

What kind of scarves?

The abs cost me 600 quid in pt fees. Over about 7 months. It was worth it - I do at least feel confident in some of my clothes grin

Wibblypiglikesbananas Mon 29-Jul-13 20:41:38

Definitely focus on skin and hair. I'm currently PG with DC2 and even if I do say it myself, I am glowing at the moment. My hair is super thick and my skin just gleams, no spots or anything. I got loads of compliments last week and to be fair, I was in maternity gear that's a bit past its best as it's on its second time round and it was super hot to boot.

Pregnancy seems to be the only thing that makes my skin blemish free - looks like it'll be back to the zits once this one is born!

Suzietwo Mon 29-Jul-13 20:41:42

This is a great thread but I don't know where some of you find the effort! I have to get it together a few times a week when I go to London for meetings. The rest of the time I'm in a variation of my pyjamas.

However, my best shit hair cure is the hair band. 60s style

BinksToEnlightenment Mon 29-Jul-13 20:48:17

Oh, I just go to Accessorize and pick one up for fifteen quid. Try holding a couple against your face to see which brings out your eyes or skin colour. You'll know when it's right. Or what matches your usual bag or shoes.

I have a hair app on Wednesday. I'm tempted to have it chopped but I think I will regret it. I've had it highlighted a long time now. Sometimes I look at Lauren Goodgers hair and think maybe I should have that kind of colour - just enhancing what's there instead if dramatic lightening but I feel invisible with dark hair hmm

CoTananat Mon 29-Jul-13 20:57:09

Agree wholeheartedly on the hair skin and nails. Those are my main issues and on good-skin-days a soso outfit can look amazing.

My brows are shit atm because I'm growing them into a different shape; normally they're pretty well groomed and I notice that I do look noticeably more, hm, accidental in myself.

Keep a clothes brush by your front door and make it a habit to brush down your shoulders and trouser cuffs, particularly, as you leave the house. And do your bum! Pet hair and crumb bum is not a together look, take my learnings.

Get a decent bra.

If you've got big boobs and a little waist, get your jackets a size or two up and have them taken in by an alterations lady. It's completely worth it, trust me.

Decent haircut and colour
Hair treatments every week
A decent serum for glossy hair (Elvive Extraordinary oil is ver' good)
Eyebrows need to be tidy (I keep tweezers by a mirror in a well lit area that I pass by so that stray hairs can be removed when I see them)
Natural-ish makeup (good, light foundation)
Natural quality fabrics
More expensive clothes (ebay is great for this) especially basics but I rarely buy anything full price.
Clean ironed clothes
Clothes that fit and aren't too big/small/ have holes in them
Decent expensive looking accessories
Not too much bling

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 21:20:50

That's a good tip about having alterations done Cotananat Come to think of it, they are very keen on that over here (mainland Europe) alterations offered as standard in many shops. Do you think the same thing would work for narrow shoulders/big norks? Can never get anything to fit properly on shoulders so aim to fit in that area first ....but think shoulders are problematic to alter?? Not sure???

LadyBigtoes Mon 29-Jul-13 21:48:27

I don't think I really look "amazing at soft play" (!) but when I think I look OK it's because...

- I try to buy bunches of things that will work together so it's easy to throw on a reasonable outfit - so don't just buy things as a one-off, but as part of your favourite colour groups or styles, so that you can mix and match without stress. Eg in winter I have various tights/dresses or skirts/tops/boots that will all go together whatever order I throw them on in.

- Always add a necklace (or scarf, bracelets, whatever) if time, it makes you look more like you didn't just roll out of bed. In summer, sandals and painted toenails jazzes things up.

- I think feeling confident and being smiley make a huge difference even if you are wearing just jeans and a t-shirt. I once read something that said "pretend you're Madonna when you walk into a room". Well not exactly but you can kind of imagine yourself into having that kind of confidence and self-possession. Don't feel insecure about what you're wearing - if you wanted to look put together, great, if you're having a scruffy day, also great, everyone is allowed to.

LadyBigtoes Mon 29-Jul-13 21:55:53

Also, if something doesn't work on you, just don't bother with it. I'm pear shaped with a long back and jackets make me look weird and lumpy - I just never wear them (long cardigans with a waist tie, or a flare-shaped coat instead is much better). Any kind of collar makes me look like a man - I never wear them. I can't do high heels, I'm very tall and I can't balance on them. Don't sweat over trying to find the right versions of things that women are "supposed" to wear - find what YOU are comfortable in and suits you best.

Really interesting thread. I remember reading about proportions and thinking "absolutely". A lot of people get their proportions wrong i.e. skinny jeans but with too short a top or baggy boyfriend jeans but with baggy t-shirt rather than fitted shirt. I also wear hair up if fussy neckline and down if plain t-shirt.

I always like to have two/three colours max even at school I was known as the girl who always had matching ribbon in hair/ankle socks.

Also I cover up more. I'm 42 and although size 10 have varicose veins and sun damaged décolleté and have ditched some of my more shorter dresses for longer skirts and higher necked t-shirts which still show off my arms but hide my chunky monkey legs. I came to the realisation that after a certain age less is more and that age, for me, is now grin

Also confidence is everything, you feel good you'll look great smile

Clarification: when I was at school as a child, I don't do the school run in matching ponytail ribbon and ankle socks grin

Steamedcabbage Mon 29-Jul-13 22:02:59

Think you have hit the nail on the head there Ladybigtoes
You don't have to follow fashion (you can always nod to it in the shape of a scarf or a colour) wear what suits ...

And that's another great tip about limiting your colour palette - Bluesatinsash- especially if on a tight budget

ShoeWhore Mon 29-Jul-13 22:12:11

grin at palmarella

Nothing so exciting I am afraid.

Not hard to be more adventurous styling wise than my oh-so-very-tasteful neighbour. I think clothes should be fun. Flipside is sometimes I get it wrong and look crap.

And I am slapdash as in don't bother with makeup day to day, have the odd bad hair day, forget to keep my eyebrows tidy etc. So I lack that overall groomed look grin

Liveinthepresent Mon 29-Jul-13 23:21:03

Great thread - am reading avidly - am also BF and feeling a bit lost on style right now - too big for pre pg clothes and my hair is a disaster zone.

Never had groomed eyebrows might try it as a fairly quick idea.

Nothing useful to add though !

WandaDoff Mon 29-Jul-13 23:24:45

Off to bed now, but marking place for tomorrow.

I need to get rid of too big clothes hmm
I also find nursing bras come up higher and show under more clothes. Deliberating buying some different ones but dd2 9 months now not sure it's worth it.

I'm adopting the buy less spend more mantra. No more next for me - I ditched new look and primark back along. Def buying a few pieces from white company and people tree. I will work on accessories too grin
Thanks everyone I resolutely pedicured tonight - starting as I mean to go on gringrin

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 04:36:28

YY to spend more, buy less. Buy quality fabric (wools, silks) and ensure it's well fitted. I've bought quality items that are still going FIFTEEN YEARS later. Still in work ready condition. But those $20 tops get washed once or twice and they're throwaways.

I'm reasonably well put together but have terrible nails and seldom wear jewellery. But I often get comments and compliments about my clothes. My secret is that I am not afraid to spend big bucks on stuff I know will last. A wool coat, linen pants, merino jerseys. And I never, ever buy cheap fabrics. Got anything made from a fabric that's man-made, shiney or see-through? Consider passing it on.

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 04:39:44

Another tip is the 'scrunch test'. If you like something on a hanger, grab a handful in your hand and scrunch it. If it looks wrinkled and withered after that, then that's what it's going to look like on you after you've sat on the tube in the morning.

BFing is really hard for clothes. I just lived in dresses. Had a good wrap-around cardigan. But I was glad to go back to my old clothes when I stopped BFing, I really was.

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 04:43:37
Secretswitch Tue 30-Jul-13 05:18:54

If you are in rush to get out the door and have no time to put your slap on, lip stain and sun glasses are your best friend.

Also OP if you're really lost on your hair (which sounds MUCH nicer than mine, so I wouldn't personally take this advice) you might consider heated rollers. Switch them on, put them in (which after practise takes less than 10 mins), do the breakfast / tooth brushing business while they cool, take them out, brush them through and you're golden. Gives your hair an instantly nice shape with curls or just movement depending on how you do them. If you have a natural wave it should hold beautifully.

Might not be practical for you, or necessary, but my hair is straight, flat and fine and I am now absolutely dependent on mine!

Meant to say I've never managed a successful up-do (even a ponytail somehow never works on me) so this is my stock "look" with occasional slides and stuff.

Have a full length mirror somewhere you can see yourself before leaving the house. Check for little details like visible bra straps, or those hanging loops. If you never use them, cut them out.

Lioninthesun Tue 30-Jul-13 10:14:03

Has anyone else tried the mumsnet haircut? I've been DIYing it for about 5 months and have had compliments when I blow dry it for first time in ages!

Lioninthesun Tue 30-Jul-13 10:16:25

In case anyone doesn't know what it is Just thought that for those of you on a budget and unable to go to a hairdresser like me! it is a quick fix smile

jonbonjovismissus Tue 30-Jul-13 10:44:01

YY to rollers, I bought some a few onths ago (at the age of 36!) and they have changed my life! Previously have had mental fine but wavy hair, but these have really sorted it out and don't take too long in the mornings - although there are still many mornings when it goes up in a clip!
Dorothy Perkins and New Look have fab accessories especially at sale time like now; and also go for White Stuff and Mint Velvet (normally in the sales though!).

Missbopeep Tue 30-Jul-13 11:08:55

A couple of decent coats can make an outfit imo.
Buy a good wool coat for winter and /or a raincoat that's fashionable , but not uber trendy. A good coat will make even jeans and a jumper look classy. I've got a Jigsaw coat that was almost £300 but wear it over £14.99 skinnies from Uniqlo.

I was so excited this morning to read new replies grin
I'm going to make a list....I have a really good Matthew Williamson coat that needs a good dry clean so I will take that and a couple of others to get spruced up grin

Intrigued by the heated rollers do you have a link?

I'm also intrigued by heated rollers. my hair looks better with a bit of curl. it is quite fine. Do you use the fabric covered ones that are bendy, or the Velcro type ones?

Missbopeep Tue 30-Jul-13 11:27:35

It's all about grooming. You don't need spend a fortune. Clean hair, well cut, nails in good condition, shoes that aren't worn out, a bag that is reasonably fashionable and good quality though not granny style, subtle make up, and some accessories.

When I see people who look 'a mess' they always fall down on one of the above- they might have great hair and make up then top it off with a pair of ancient worn out ballet pumps, or even laddered opaque tights. or too much bosom on show when not really appropriate, etc.

mindingalongtime Tue 30-Jul-13 11:27:49

I was complimented in the school playground by a mum who told me that I always looked effortlessly immaculate, and that my families should be very proud to have me as their childminder! I was so thrilled, especially as I have 3 under 2 with me!

My musts for me are, - always manicured nails and pedicured toes, I'm pretty good at achieving a salon finish blow dry after investing £90 in a Parlux salon hairdryer, believe me it makes a huge difference. A good large barrel bristle brush and L'Oreal oil, and Morroccan Oil glimmer finish spray. I also keep my highlights up to date!

I wear dresses mostly that are slimming even though a size 16, Phase Eight is my lifeline, but I buy a lot of them on ebay for £40 instead of £135, low heels, a nice fitted cardigan and a good raincoat. My Burberry mac is 25 years old and looks brand new, carefully cleaned and buckles replaced keeps it pristine, but can be thrown in the boot of the cr with the pushchair and still looks great!

I keep lipsticks everywhere, a pale pink Estee Lauder that goes with everything, is my friend!

Rachtoteach Tue 30-Jul-13 12:24:14

Loving this thread!

Mindingalong, it was great to read your post as I'm a size 16 and much prefer to wear dresses as I have an awful tummy/overhang from 3 c-sections! Off to look at phase eight and ebay.....

MangoJuiceAddict Tue 30-Jul-13 12:39:40

A bun ring is a good idea! Very easy to use too. Just place hair in a ponytail (using a hairband) then place bun ring at the top, flip head upside down and spread hair around bun ring so its all covered then grip into place.

Lottapianos Tue 30-Jul-13 13:05:50

Nails - don't worry if you're not interested/can't afford a fabulous mani-pedi, just make sure that finger and toe nails are short and extremely clean. Chipped nail polish is a total no-no.

Eyebrows - all the usual advice, get professional shaping if you can and then fill in wth a powder that matches your eyebrow hair colour

Wear fitted clothes - don't choose enormous floaty styles that swamp you, even if you're not very confident about your body.

Get to know your body shape and (very important) what you like about it and which parts you want to draw attention to.

Get properly fitted for bras (never at M&S) - be prepared to spend a bit of money, they are a real investment in both your look and your health. I'm at 34HH and cant' say enough about Bravissimo - fitting, range of styles and service are all excellent.

Wear clothes that you like, not just what you 'think' you should wear or what's in fashion. Excellent advice upthread about wearing jackets and coats with waists (can be impossible to find sometimes!) - much more likely to be flattering than a boxy shape.

Try to have fun with your clothes and overall look - it's supposed to be something that makes you feel good, not something you feel horribly anxious about. Don't be afraid of developing your own style.

MinesaBottle Tue 30-Jul-13 14:33:36

These are all brilliant! I definitely recommend being realistic about your body shape and dressing to suit it. And that doesn't necessarily mean baggy stuff if you're big, if your bra fits well and your top/dress is the right size you'll look great.

One bit of advice I always remember (from Jackie magazine in about 1985) is to check your back view in the mirror before you go out. Just to make sure tops are straight, seamed or patterned tights are lined up etc.

The main thing is to be confident and happy in what you're wearing! Just because something's in fashion you don't need to wear it if you don't like it or it doesn't suit you (bodycon dresses, I'm looking at you).

LindaMcCartneySausage Tue 30-Jul-13 14:44:03

It's taken me years to work out that its the person who wears the clothes, not the clothes, that are stylish. Basically, if you are slim-ish, but more imortantly toned, and well groomed, you look far better in any clothes. it makes you look and feel confident too, your posture improves and you can wear more or less anything. I used to buy lots of clothes, some expensive (some of which could be "investment pieces", but most not). Lots didn't look great and i got bored "dressing for my shape" by wearing the same basic styles. i decided to stop buying clothes and spend the money on a gym membership - it made all the difference!

Otherwise, a good haircut and - honestly - neatly pressed clothes and polished shoes make the world of difference

Absy Tue 30-Jul-13 14:54:35

one of the best bits of advice I got from MN is to GET RID of anything that makes you feel crap when you wear it. If you feel rubbish, you'll look rubbish.

patagonia09 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:07:57

Maybe not the solution you're looking for, but when I see one of the glamorous mums you mention, I get my DS to go up to them and smear yoghurt / banana / mud etc into their hair and clothes. Bit of poo if really serious. It doesn't make me look any better but at least it brings them down to my level.
Seriously, I left the house last week wearing a shirt which had holes down the front (looked like I'd been smoking jazz cigarrettes) and suncream (possibly yoghurt?) smeared up both sleeves. On my way out I wondered if I should go back and change but realised I had nothing cleaner available and even if I did, it would be instantly ruined.
Then again, even before I had a child a tramp once bought me a cup of tea because he felt sorry for me so maybe it's just my look. Rock what you've got, I say.

manfalou Tue 30-Jul-13 15:10:02

make sure you feel comfortable in what you're wearing. I have a top which I LOVE on the hanger but it makes me feel hideous when wearing it and my mood shows that when I wear it. 3 months post baby and I have love handles galore, I've found that anything with pattern seems to take the focus away from my hips =)

I wish I could pull off a maxi dress but they make me feel frumpy!

fl0b0t Tue 30-Jul-13 17:37:09

I'd not like to claim to be stylish (I have a certain style or two.....) but I do live by the knowledge that certain things just work.

Big sunglasses always work. Especially when paired with all black well fitted clothes head to toe. And if I feel really mad- a splash of lipstick. The new modern kind like Rimmel 1000 kisses which goes on like a felt tip pen, dries and then is never coming off (but doesn't go crusty and dry).

I struggle because I have bad skin and mad hair, neither of which help when trying to look put-together and stylish!

CoTananat Tue 30-Jul-13 18:50:08

Shoulders are problematic to alter, yes, SteamedCabbage. A million years ago in draping class at college, we were taught to always structure from the shoulders-- on day one you literally start by pinning a massive piece of tracing paper to one shoulder of your dummy.

But it's not impossible! Your alterations lady can tell you if it's possible with your piece, but it may cost you more than the jacket (whereas I can only spend about £12 per jacket to get mine fitted).

Yes to the fabrics. Get rid of your polyester. It doesn't love you.

Nonky Tue 30-Jul-13 19:22:06

fab thread :-) I'm interested in the heated rollers as well but have no idea where to start? Can anyone recommend some good affordable ones please?

Dilidali Tue 30-Jul-13 19:42:45

Block colours are easy to wear. Think of them as a blank canvases. Then break the colour or transform the outfit according to what you are doing.


Co - I have a lovely Zara blazer I bought in a charity shop that's too big for me across the shoulders - it was a fiver I think but it's sort of navy with a dark red chalk stripe it would look amazing with lots of clothes I have if it fitted me properly - do you think it would be v spendy to alter?

Dilidali Tue 30-Jul-13 19:48:47

Posted too soon.
For example, a navy top with a navy skirt can be dressed up or down. I tend to put a brighter blue necklace for day/running around with brighter blue flats, or an orange scarf and orange-ish sandals(think mute, not bright) if I have a meeting, or just a summery flowery necklace thingy with very fine strapped sandals. You get the idea.

QueenMaeve Tue 30-Jul-13 19:53:08

Definitely know what colours work for you and stick to them. I've never had my colours done but I know what works for me. I'm dark hair, fairly olive skin. I wear black, khakis and neutrals or really bright vivid colours. I never wear pastels or wispy washy patterns, I don't think they look right unless you have perfect peaches and cream completion.
Many people shy away from bright colours like orange, fuchsia etc but they really do give your face life.
For my hair I use a pair of ancient curling tongs, they work better than any roller. I hold at an able and tong large sections. Then take through with fingers and hair spray.
Accessories are essential. When I can afford it I buy them along with clothing. It's handy to have it already matched up.
Take an evening every now and again and put outfits together from your wardrobe, see what works well and it's amazing the new combinations you can come up with.
I wouldn't try to be a huge slave to fashion trends, keeping in with hemlines, or styles of jeans is about all I worry about. Far better to spend money on stuff that will last and add little bits and pieces to change it from year to year.
I buy things in all sorts of places, and no matter where I visit will always try to find a boutique or vintage shop. I don't feel the need to always buy something new for an event' unless its something I love.
If are buying sensibly, ie stuff that lasts and that you love, there is no reason to be throwing stuff away as often. I shudder at the idea of buy, buy, buy and throw away. I very rarely part with things and over the years have built up a wardrobe that I love. Today I am wearing a River Island shirt bought recently with a Max Mara skirt that I bought 12 years ago. I went to a ball 2 weeks ago wearing the skirt of a 2 piece bridesmaid dress (10 years old) and a vintage corset top. The brides maid skirt is the most beautiful raw silk and I might have it taken up into a pencil skirt next.
Try and find a good and reasonably priced dressmaker. I have bought skirts in a bigger size and had them altered to fit. Or had sleeves put into tops or straps put on a dress. Some of this I do myself. It's a good way to update things and get more wear.
No one is accidentally stylish, it does take thought but clothes are such a passion for me and I think it is worth the time it takes to look good.

Playdoughcaterpillar Tue 30-Jul-13 19:59:25

If you are struggling with deciding what suits your shape/want to rptry new ideas I would recommend the personal shopper service at john Lewis. I ended up with plenty of things I feel great in and would never have picked up to try on myself. Obv is dependant on how good the individual is but my local one is fab. Also great when short on time/child care as you can get a while wardrobe for the season in just one morning.

Playdoughcaterpillar Tue 30-Jul-13 19:59:56

Whole wardrobe sorry!

CoTananat Tue 30-Jul-13 20:04:49

I would expect to pay £30 minimum in the SE to get shoulders narrowed. I'm sure you could pay more than that but I wouldn't on a simple blazer, no leather or silk to contend with. It may not even be lined. And if you go regularly to a lady she will do it cheaper.

You might pay £18-£25 outside the SE.

If it's a Zara blazer it won't have a very complicated construction. I would get it done. Google something like alterations repairs womens + your area.

A tailor would do this, but I never go to a tailor, always an alterations place. They're cheaper and have more experience with women's clothes.

Loveitall Tue 30-Jul-13 21:06:59

I've been inspired by this thread! So have ordered a pink cardigan, and a matching necklace... Better quality than I would normally get...not the cheapest this time but hopefully will be worth it! I've been feeling really dowdy since the birth of my little boy 6 months ago, time to try and feel better about myself! Keep all this tips coming!

cerealqueen Tue 30-Jul-13 21:21:35

Great thread!

I would say, steer away from too much black, navy is often kinder
Have trying on sessions with what you currently own, and see what goes with what, so you can pull an outfit together
Only buy what you love, never because it will do
Know what colours suit you - ideally done professionally or in meantime, simply when in a shop, put the item up against you and see how your face looks, some colours will make you look drained and old, other will make your skin look peachy and your eyes sparkle
Accessories - a little scarf, hair clip, statement ring, belts too (I like primark for funky belts!)
A good bag - Ebay or TK Max is a good pace to look for a affordable leather
Sometimes changing the buttons on something can completely change its look to uber stylish - too many cheap and nasty buttons on even expensive clothes, makes me sad (bit I have a serious button festish so this may just be me!)
Buy the best shoes you can afford and look after them
Ditto re comments on hair and nails and teeth too - good grooming is essential, good posture too!
Look at fashion bloggs for ideas, and at people in the street - I find most fashion mags a bit old hat these days - never seem aimed at me. I used to Love InStyle but too many articles now, I just want to look at the clothes thank you!!

kweggie Wed 31-Jul-13 00:50:12

Don't buy things just because you like the colour- it may not be a cut that suits you, or a colour that suits you. If the colour you love doesn't 'love you' back, buy shoes or accessories in it instead-things that aren't next to your skin.

Clear out your wardrobe. It's much nicer to choose from clothes you love than from impulse buys and past-its that will NEVER get worn again.

If you buy vests/tees in colours that exactly match your jeans/ skirts , it gives a good line and you can accessorise to change the look.
If you are over 50 ,tint your eyebrows. I promise you it takes YEARS off you.

Treat yourself to new underwear once in a while-get measured. It makes you feel pretty.

Moisturise moisturise moisturise.

hazchem Wed 31-Jul-13 02:01:24

I'm not amazingly stylish. However I get some compliments. I tend to buy my clothes from charity shops but spend my money on shoes and bags.
The thing that has made me feel more stylish is the project 333. Basically everything in my wardrobe goes with everything else. It's winter here so my wardrobe is based on grey, cobalt blue and pinky/maroony/purply. I have 2 pairs of jeans, some tops, and two dresses. it sounds dull but I feel put together. I spent ages searching for a blazer that pulls my clothes together. I found one it's something I wear everyday and I feel great in it!

wigwam33 Wed 31-Jul-13 08:56:00

My two top tips are:
1) Shop for your body shape. Don't focus on what's in 'fashion' this season or latest trend. Try to go for classics that work for you. Work out what works for your shape and stick to it. For example, I never wear polo (turtle) necks or belted dresses / tops as they look awful on me. Lots of low / wide necks instead.
2) Shop for your colouring too. What really helped me with this was getting my colours done with 'Colour Me Beautiful' as a 21st birthday present. It makes a big difference. Although I like blues and greys they do absolutely nothing for my complexion. Whenever I wear pink, on the other hand, I get lots of compliments.
I agree about haircut but disagree with other posts that you needs lots of make up. Most days I just wear mascara and nothing else. Usually with hair in a bun.
I also agree with steamed cabbage that fewer good clothes is better and scarves can make any outfit more interesting. Spend more on one thing you love than less on lots of things in the sales / bargains that are 'almost' right.

MrsMummyP Wed 31-Jul-13 09:03:39

Heated rollers: I have an ancient set of these must be about 10 years old and could do with replacing. Any suggestions anyone? Lots of videos on YouTube too about how to use them. Took me a while to get the hang of them but I think they are great. Even if my hair doesn't hold the curl as it's a bit long, if I haven't had time to blow dry and style my hair, the heat from these 'sets' my hair and de-frizzes it so it just looks like I've spent a bit more time on it. Also they are great for getting an extra day out of your hair if you don't have time to wash it!

Another tip, if you have pierced ears and small children invest in a set of studs or sleeper earrings that you can keep in all the time in a neutral colour e.g. gold. I met some mums for coffee last week and one said to me 'what with a small baby, how have you found time to even put earrings in?!' Erm, I haven't. They went in about six weeks ago and have stayed there, I even shower in them. Just got fed up forgetting to head back to the bedroom and find a pair of earrings in the new baby madness! Excellent thread by the way, thanks.

Dilidali Wed 31-Jul-13 09:03:41

hazchem thank you for the link smile.

gettingeasiernow Wed 31-Jul-13 09:21:05

Agree with hair comments above - v. important.
But most of all, know your look.
Trinny and Susannah were very good for this.
I like a very simple uncluttered look so keep hair and makeup as polished as I can and then keep simple dress/plain colour/no patterns/no accessories but focus on the shape being absolutely right for my body shape (big shoulders boobs, slim hips, wobbly tum but good legs, can look matronly in the wrong clothes but athletic in the right ones). I suit pencil/straight shapes, on the knee length, and sleeveless because the shoulders give it definition. Also hate heels in summer as they make you look as if you are trying way too hard (not so in winter paired with opaques though). I like it to look simple, groomed and easy, as if you haven't tried.

gettingeasiernow Wed 31-Jul-13 09:25:05

Also agree with getting your colours done - I did this 25 years ago and it's saved me so much time/money over the years. Everything in your wardrobe matches and suits you.

AscendoTuum Wed 31-Jul-13 09:36:27

I am following this thread with interest. My youngest is just about to start big school and I see light at the end of the frumpy tunnel. I'd really love to transform myself into a well groomed woman. Before I go to town on the clothes, shoes and bags though I am paying attention to what's underneath. I hear what you ladies are saying about hair and eyebrows and nails. I also have spent this year getting all my fillings up to date and next week I will be having my teeth whitened. I also need to lose weight.

AscendoTuum Wed 31-Jul-13 09:42:20

What about jewelry? I read somewhere that you shouldn't wear earrings and a necklace together. My jewelry collection is earrings, necklaces, bracelets and a couple of watches. What would you combine and what to avoid?

Morning all grin
Ok today I think I look ok - black stretchy skinnies (I have one pair of uncomfy jeans grin) and black batwing stretchy long top with camel hush puppies ballet flats. Messy up do. This is def me wearing clothes I think are too good for every day - need to do it more. Later I will be wearing rags while I get highlights done I have had stuff wrecked by toner before.
Teeth whitening I had done couple years back - well worth it but I'm due a scale and polish I reckon.
I bought some Argan oil for my hair - amazing! I put it on and went to bed with hair still damp - woke up to loose waves and actual shine!

gettingeasiernow Wed 31-Jul-13 09:51:55

For example, all of hte following look dreadful on me because of my shape and I avoid like the plague: short sleeves (sleeveless or elbow length much better), A line, shirts with collars and buttons at front (look like a bloke), tailored jackets (bloke, again), boyfriend jeans (my arse is too flat to balance my saggy tum, beer drinking bloke), high collars (jawline too defined).
So....choose your neckline (boat shape or scoop good on me due to broad shoulders/decent boobs), dress shape (see above), dress length.
That Trinny/Susannah book years ago about deciding what body shape you are and what to avoid is a HUGE help if you are confused, or if you wonder why you feel rubbish in something you like on the peg or on a friend.
That and get your colours done - it's a lifelong investment.

MrsHoarder Wed 31-Jul-13 09:53:44

I have naturally messy hair and insufficient time to style it: I just put it up roughly by not pulling it through fully on the final "loop" of a ponytail. Takes seconds and looks fairly tidy.

Unless you are going into quite a pricey shop, stick to plain clothes. The more patterned the clothes, the cheaper they tend to look.

So Primark is fine for plain vests and long-sleeved t-shirts. Buy lots of them and layer for bf. Then you will need to hunt in charity shops/ebay for 2-3 nice skirts and a jacket or two to wear on rotation.

Finally I do wear dresses and leggings, but the dress needs to be above mid-thigh for it to be a good look. I think it only works on the tall maybe?

Dilidali Wed 31-Jul-13 10:33:28

ascendo, i think it depends. My face is very small with very high cheekbones, I would never pull long earrings and necklace together unless I go for the christmas tree look. I am wearing discrete studs with necklaces.
The only time I can match necklaces with earrings (studs) is if I am wearing pearls, I am very dark and the white really brightens up my face, but it is not a look I would use every day.
The most used necklace lately is a mint velvet one, very long with some random silvery leaves hanging off it.

Had a think about the pulled together look last night. To sum it up for me it would be: clean, polished, ironed, discrete, fitting, scented and an attitude to match.
I went on a visit the other day and met this very very old friend that I haven't seen in years, I didn't know she will be there, it was a family do. I thought she looked very well and told her so, only to open the floodgates: yeah, but look at my belly, look at my burst veins, look at, look at, I look like shit, but look at you, I would never be able to wear a jersey dress like you and look fantastic etc. Well, I have a bit of a belly too, and burst capillaries and so on, I am hardly 20 anymore. She then asks me ifI breastfed, because my boobs aren't saggy!!!! As it happens I did and they are going south. Did you have them lifted? Christ no, I just wear a bra!
What I am saying is that no matter how I explained, she truelly believed I looked good and she didn't. The thing is, she does look good, it's all in her head, she would probably look better than me in my dress, but she just won't register.
So attitude is vital.

amigababy Wed 31-Jul-13 10:35:23

<marking place, will read later>

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Wed 31-Jul-13 11:46:55

It's worth paying a bit more for quality than having loads of flimsy stuff from George at Asda. That's not meant to sound snobby it's just that ultimately you'll get more wear out of quality items. ok I guess this may be true but I prefer having lots and lots of clothes to mix and match with and unless its a really cheap nylony fabric I buy loads from george, primark , new look etc. I team stuff up and some of my things are more expensive. virtually all my jewellry is from primark and new look and I get loads of compliments, I know what suits me. my fave outfit at the moment is a plain black jersey maxi dress today its with a slouchy mustard yellow cardigan and shoes and a long string of mustardy coloured beads. my weekend outfit was a pair of white (BHS) crop jeans a fine knit pink cardi and jumper set from Kaliedoscope and a chunky silver necklace, earrings and bangle from the Primark collection smile and for work tomorrow its a jersey aztec print maxi (primark) with long black cardi or biker jacket depending on the weather with an aztec style neclace and matching earrings. I agree with the person who said 'if you don't feel good in it... ditch it' and have regular clear outs / tidying sessions / trying on sessions its suprising how you forget what you have and what still fits and what goes with what.

sherbetpips Wed 31-Jul-13 12:19:44

Wear clothes that fit you, not the size that you think fits you, ditto for bras. Take two of three different sizes in with you and buy the one that looks great, whatever the size may say. Lots of size 10 and 12 women walk around with muffin tops and bulging backs from bra straps because they cant bear to go a size larger. The shops do not offer uniform sizing so there is no point following it.

Loveitall Wed 31-Jul-13 12:47:51

grr, tried to buy new jeans today - was going for quality rather than cheap - and couldnt find any i liked!!

TiredMule Wed 31-Jul-13 13:03:08

Just marking my place grin

mckenzie Wed 31-Jul-13 15:35:42

Go and have a session wih the Personal shopper at John lewis. You dont need to spend a fortune to be able to use this service. You might just want a new pair fo jeans. But they taught me more about what clothes/styes/shapes to buy to suit me in 10 minutes than I'd taught myself in my lifetime!
Less is definitely more too. One really decent well cut well fitted skirt can be worn with half a dozen different tops/blouses and will look different every time.
Let's be honest, most of us have washing machines that are on fairly frequently so we don't need lots of different outfits. Just have a few that make you feel a million dollars and wear them, all the time!

I should add though that i've been trying for a while to find some decent boyfriend jeans, tried the department stores, went up to way beyond my normal price range (I went up to about £200 odd) but i have found them in....... Peacocks! they fit perfectly, they are thin so ideal for this time of year and I've worn them twice and both times had nice comments smile

I tend to stay away from leggings now because, no offence to anyone that wears them, I don't think they look v nice.

Agree with hair looking good (not always something I manage, esp atm its at an inbetween stage of growing a fringe out so can look awful) it doesn't always need to look polished with a sleek cut as long as its doesn't look lanky/greasy/ really frizzy.

I use coconut oil on the second half of my hair every couple of weeks/ once a month which makes a big difference.

Im at a crossroads with my clothes atm, Im 23 and size 8 which I think is quite a hard age to dress for. Im not a teenager anymore, getting away with short skirts/ shorts and t shirts but then Im also not in my 30s/ 40s which I think Jaeger/ Coast cater for more.
Ive got two children so my belly isn't great but Ive got a good figure and Im tall.
I love Zara I get most of my wardrobe from there, in fact my mum buys a lot from there and shes 55!

In winter I spend my life in skinnies/ jumpers and summer tends to be maxi dresses/ light weight skinnies and tops. Then dressed up with jewellery/ sunglasses and Ive recently invested in a real leather large brown bag which I looove!

In one attempt to move away from leggings I bought some jeans in next. They are sort of mint green skinnies. Well they were until I washed them. Now they look like 80's mum jeans angry error!

cloudskitchen Wed 31-Jul-13 20:50:16

Take them back hamwidgencheps. thats not on!

cloudskitchen Wed 31-Jul-13 20:50:41

sorry I spelled your name wrong thanks

It was the correct janner pronunciation grin

Steamedcabbage Thu 01-Aug-13 11:22:32

Thanks for shoulder-altering info from way down thread CoTananat - only just got back on here!

HoneyStepMummy Thu 01-Aug-13 15:05:35

Sorry I posted and ran on the heated rollers!

I've got the bog-standard Babyliss ones too and swear by them. As I use them every day, if they lame out on me I might go for something more expensive, although these ones certainly do the job.

They take about 5-6 mins to heat up. I have one of those water spray bottles, and I dampen each strand before putting them in and let them dry before taking them out; this is because I have incredibly stubbornly straight hair which won't hold a curl for ten minutes unless I do this!

They do take their toll on your ends which are in direct contact with the roller, but I can live with that to have decently shaped hair. I agree that even on days when the curl drops because of wind/rain, somehow my hair still retains a bit of shape rather than sticking to my head and sticking up at the back and all the other horrible things it does without serious intervention.

I used velcro sleep rollers for a couple of years before buying these, which minimised time in the morning, but I found that the soft ones would flatten and give you a kink rather than a curl, and I just never got a decent night's sleep in the hard ones. I couldn't get along with the old-fashioned foam ones with the plastic clip bit, but it's definitely worth playing around to see what works for your hair.

I'm a bit passionate about rollers grin

That's roller dedication grin
I have tried v hard this week with outfit planning and accessories. This was my first week back at work and I actually felt really good grin
I work in a town centre with an odd collection of shops. There's a Dorothy Perkins, new look and peacocks then some quite fancy charity shops and an old fashioned posh department store and a marks and spencer outlet. My female colleague and I are always boasting about charity shop purchases grin
Marks had some amazing camel coloured over sized retro sunglasses this week. If they are still there next week I'm going to buy some - def am accessory I can justify according to this thread grin

MrsLettuce Sat 03-Aug-13 09:16:09

Not so much style as, well, what granny would say, but valid none the less I feel:

Wear underwear that fits, the number of people that I see who have ruin their outfits with too-tight-pants is crazy. Of bras enough has been said lately, much of it very wise indeed.

Don't forget to do neck, decollete and hands, not just just face, with your good moisturiser, serum, sunblock and whatnot.

Good posture is all. Honestly.

Confidence can (and should) be faked, wherever necessary. Nobody at all knows how you feel inside.

Arrange your face.
Doesn't matter how much time, thought and effort one puts into clothing, acessories, hair, make up and maintenance it can all be spoilt in an instant with a scowl, condescending look or sneer.

Jeans and trousers are not obligatory, if they don't flatter you don't wear them. End of. TBH same applies to any item of clothing.

Style beats fashion every. single. time.
The only exception to this is the girls and women (regardless of age) of a certain height and build for whom 'fashion' is intended. Women of this type should, of course, not feel obliged to follow fashion should they actually have a sense of style.
So. FInd out what you love. Develop your style, keep developing it. When some numpty finally decides that some element what suits and flatters you is 'fashionable' buy, buy, buy. But, quality over quantity, natch.

When walking in an unexpected rain shower / having a crisis of confidence / a seam splits / child pukes all over you in public / other unexpected shit happens, stand up straight, arrange your face and walk at a normal speed.

There is no age at which a particular hair style or skirt is too long or too short.

Following style and fashion rules is for those who lack the confidence to do their own thing. So, I repeat, confidence can (and should) be faked, wherever necessary.

Great post Mrs Lettuce - am going to try to remember those tips! smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now