What on earth do I wear to a wedding when shitty lymphodoema makes my feet and ankles massive?? really struggling and feeling sad :-(

(42 Posts)
doublecakeplease Thu 04-Jul-13 21:37:35

Just that really. Summer wedding - posh manor house affair with DH family.

My feet and legs are pretty much permanently swollen so i look vile in anything that shows my legs. I struggle with nice shoes (although i long to wear them) because i need super wide fit.

I feel like an old lady but I'm only 35 and long to look 35 and not 75!

I'm 5'2". Size 16 with 36hh bust (which also make it difficult not to look sack lady ish)

Am i destined ti be the frump hiding in the corner again?

ceebeegeebies Thu 04-Jul-13 21:41:19

What about a maxi dress? Wallis have some lovely ones in at the moment with wide belts to cinch your waist and also in petite range.

MrsLettuce Thu 04-Jul-13 21:42:35

Och, that sounds shitty. We'll find you somethign that makes you feel great. A maxi would be good, ideal for that sort of wedding, regardless. What sort of budget are we working with? What colours do you like? Any shoes you have that you'd like to use?

Scarletohello Thu 04-Jul-13 21:45:36

Yes maxi dresses are great and look really glamorous. There's loads of them on sale at the moment too, Debenhams or House of Fraser. Do u have a lovely friend u can go girly shopping with, don't be sad, I have huge noobs and find clothes shopping really depressing , it's just a case of knowing what suits you...

sassytheFIRST Thu 04-Jul-13 21:46:06

Trouser suit - one that gives you a waist. Maybe a tuxedo suit with a little camisole under. Then heels and a fab hat/bag combo. You'll rock the joint!

(I've got huge tits too, and am yet to find a maxi dress that doesn't make me look like a galleon running ahead of the wind.)

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 04-Jul-13 21:48:19

Would you consider going to a personal shopper ? The ones in John Lewis are fab. There's sales on ATM so you might get a bargain!

ceebeegeebies Thu 04-Jul-13 21:49:08

Was thinking something like this [http://www.wallis.co.uk/en/wluk/product/petite-maxi-dresses-1814119/petite-265975/pink-petite-maxi-dress-1966654?refinements=category~%5b444612%7c209168%5d&bi=1&ps=20 here]]

Do you think you could cope with some low wedges?

ceebeegeebies Thu 04-Jul-13 21:49:54

Try again here

MrsLettuce Thu 04-Jul-13 21:53:25

skimmy navy jumpsuit with bright accessories? Nowt fuddy duddy about that.

doublecakeplease Thu 04-Jul-13 21:56:12

Wow - wasn't really expecting replies! Thankyou all :-)

I kind of always thought maxi dresses looked funny with heels (not got any that i can wear for more than an hour without being in pain but i'm open to recommendations) and can't imagine flats to a wedding?

Might look into a suit but worry about looking frumpy / office like?

Not sure on budget - I'm usually a Next shopper but i have 2 weddings this summer so will get the credit card out for something that makes me feel less shit :-)

Think I'm too bashful for a personal shopper.

MrsLettuce Thu 04-Jul-13 21:58:09

Flats with a maxi is fine as are heels with a more dressy dress.

ceebeegeebies Thu 04-Jul-13 21:58:52

I think you can get away with flat shoes wirh a maxi as long as it is really long and pretty much covers them. They would have to be pretty sandal type ones though for when they do peek out.

That jumpsuit is fab. Nice bangle and some comfy pretty shoes and you're sorted smile

ProphetOfDoom Thu 04-Jul-13 22:09:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

How about really smart trousers (I'm kind of imagining flowing wide leg ones)

Don't wear heels, sounds like you'd only be miserable. I'm noticing more and more people wearing colourful, sparkly flat shoes around the place. I've got wide feet and I've bought these www.clarks.co.uk/p/20355238 (unfortunately mine were in pink, seems that was last season. But I can vouch for no sore feet, they are really comfortable, with celebratory sparkle.)

Here they are in pink. much better! www.clarks.co.uk/p/20351144

SignoraStronza Thu 04-Jul-13 22:14:53

OP, I have the same thing (lympho/lipoedema) and also get really sad at the amount of clothing I can't even contemplate. Am only 5ft but ignore the rules on maxi dresses and wear them anyway - have a small waist and reasonably perky boobs, so hope they get noticed instead!

Found a lovely plain black jersey maxi dress in the petite section of a small dorothy perkins branch the other day -looks quite good and I might see what other petite long dresses they do.

Am currently doing a very low calorie diet as find getting myself to as low a weight as possible helps (perhaps is the low carb thing), as does mad gym going and swimming- something that can't be done atm with a baby.

Have you tried manual lymphatic drainage massage? Costs a fortune, as typically the NHS won't find it unless the Lymph problems are as a result of cancer, but worth it for a bit of a pre-event boost. Try searching for someone vodder trained.

I've also found Evans Pretty good for boots and shoes. Get some funny looks when I go in there at a size 10 though.

SignoraStronza Thu 04-Jul-13 22:17:16

Oh, and can really recommend monsoon for dresses - have picked up quite a few wedding appropriate ones in there.

I was thinking flowing trousers too.

cremeeggsrock Thu 04-Jul-13 22:20:24

was just checking out monsoon for you, these are lovely!

http://uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_24.1/3532620816

http://uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.2/3533496118

cremeeggsrock Thu 04-Jul-13 22:20:46
SignoraStronza Thu 04-Jul-13 22:22:08

Sorry, just another thought tree the confidence boosting. I know is not strictly recommended but a sympathetic gp might be able to give you a short course of diuretics to get you through the hotter/more humid weather. Found these really helped initiall, although only to a certain point.

GertrudeMorel Thu 04-Jul-13 22:28:47

I think maxis look much better with flat shoes and quite wrong with heels.

Mrs Lettuce's jumpsuit has got good reviews, although I would be wary of bare arms.

cocolepew Thu 04-Jul-13 22:31:41

There are Nazi dresses online on Wallis' sale.

cocolepew Thu 04-Jul-13 22:32:47

MAXI!! Oh my god this bloody phone blush
Sorry!!

Primadonnagirl Thu 04-Jul-13 22:39:56

Hilarious cocolepew!!!

GertrudeMorel Thu 04-Jul-13 22:41:45

ROAR at Nazi dresses!

doublecakeplease Thu 04-Jul-13 22:48:23

Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to search - i really do appreciate it. I'm on my phone at the minute and links aren't working properly. I'll look through every single thing you've all suggested in the morning.

Thanks again - and keep them coming please!

ProphetOfDoom Thu 04-Jul-13 22:57:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grumpla Thu 04-Jul-13 22:57:51

I'd start by going to bravissimo and getting fitted for a new bra. New bra and pants always makes a good "foundation" to build on, whatever you wear will hang better.

ShoeWhore Thu 04-Jul-13 23:20:04

If you're worried about heels but want a bit of a lift then how about a low-medium wedge heel? I think a maxi dress can be worn with heels as well as flats.

Really well cut trousers could work well too though.

MostlyCake Fri 05-Jul-13 18:05:45

Don't feel bashful going to a personal shopper it's their job and they are really helpful. We took DH's mum for one for her christmas and she loved it! They get commission from the store so it's in their interests to find something you will love!!

FrugalFashionista Fri 05-Jul-13 18:22:28

I've seen some women looking extremely stylish wearing flowing floor-lenght silk pajama pants (you can do polyester in a pinch) to formal parties - would really recommend!

kickassangel Fri 05-Jul-13 18:28:27

Gladiator sandals are v fashionable and there are some very glitzy ones. They would be fine under a maxi dress or loose soft trousers.

Imagine you've just returned from a tropical cruise and put on something loose and flowing, you'll look lush.

And totally get a good bra.

Catrin Fri 05-Jul-13 21:21:46

I feel your pain - I have the same thing and it tends to be even worse after a warm day/being on my feet for long periods/alcohol so weddings are a nightmare!
Have no clothing suggestions - I am a size 10 but have the most enormous calves, ankles and feet. I go up 2 shoe sizes when v bad. Much as I love the sun, dressing for Summer makes me sad.
If you can, I would wear lovely shoes with trousers/long skirt/dress but put flip flops in my bag - if yours are like mine, they are the only thing I can get on when my feet swell badly (other than trainers with no laces). Or during the event, if at all possible, put your feet up on a chair under the table to minimise swelling and drink tons of water.
Suggestions re clothes on here sound lovely. Try not to dwell on it - I blame it on a 'since pregnancy been awful' lie! Hope you have a good time.

doublecakeplease Fri 05-Jul-13 22:39:39

Signora and Catrin - sorry you're lumbered with it too :-( i feel bad moaning because other people have so much worse but its so limiting and painful. I've had it for years but until the last couple of months docs put it down to water retention. I'm on a waiting list for a clinic.

Thanks so much everyone - i love the jumpsuit, I've NEVER considered one - can they really ok on a size 16 short arse??

MrsLettuce Fri 05-Jul-13 23:34:59

Absoloutey! It'll almost certainly need taking up a wee but (to a couple of mm short of floor length, with shoes). Very elegant and not frumpy at all.

How about
blazer
maybe these shoes? is EEE wide enough? Too high?
hat

MrsLettuce Fri 05-Jul-13 23:35:16

oh heck, lost th e bag

TSSDNCOP Fri 05-Jul-13 23:44:15

Can I recommend this, with the promise it looks better on shorter people and a slight heel.

maxmissie Fri 05-Jul-13 23:50:09

I can't help with the outfit but have exceedingly wide feet and have bought shoes from New look's wide fit range that fit me and are really comfortable (and with a small heel which I can never normally wear). I actually found two nice pairs of shoes that fit me (which never ever happens) but could only afford one pair! So might be worth a try -

also next now do wide fit and extra wide fit although the range in store is small they have more online and the extra wide fit shoes also fit me width wise.

Rulesgirl Sat 06-Jul-13 02:26:46

There is another thread on at the moment regarding palazzo pants. worn with a fitted top and high wedge heels( making sure the trousers are long enough to cover the shoe) you would look elegant ,glam, long legged and lovely.smile

doublecakeplease Sat 06-Jul-13 19:15:50

Wow - can't believe how kind you all are (where are the vipers??)

I've wangled a DS free hour and a half tomorrow so I'm off into town with a list from all the links so fingers crossed!

A bit cheeky after all the help so far... I need something to control a wobbly low tummy too - any tips on brands? I have a pair of sucky in knicker shorts from Debenhams which were fab pre DS when i was just a bit chunky but they don't do anything for my apron tummy!

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