Crepes of Froth

(996 Posts)
MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 09:56:06

Bum! Just join a thread and lock it down! So I'll start the next one.

Blackduck Sun 30-Jun-13 10:13:24

Beat me to it! ;)

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 10:50:06

Welcome!

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 11:03:08

Thank you! Perfect thread for a sandwich generation! Permanently exhausted by stressing about aged-parents needs. Not sure what to wear or how any more. Feeling I've aged rapidly in the last few years and always looking for repair/delay measures. I still think of myself as 25 but my body feels nearer 80 with all the aging complaints and a face and body I don't recognise in the mirror.
Blimey that sounds miserable... I'm not all doom and gloom ... really.
I've had my colours done and that has made a huge difference. I'm saving to go for a style sessions soon so I know what shapes suit my body. I love having rules!

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 11:05:08

I have been toying with the idea of getting my colours done for about 10 years Bentley, but am worried I will have to chuck out half my favourite clothes!

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 11:09:49

I have sorted my wardrobe into YES and no sections. Still need to wear nos at times as I haven't got a suitably coloured alternative. Luckily I had a lot of black and I'm a winter so am allowed to wear it. I also hold to the "if I like it and think it suits me I'll wear it" train of thought (HoC people don't shoot me). Often my favourites, e.g. a couple of dresses and jackets, are because I like the shape rather than the colour and are harder to replace, but I will when I find them in the shops at a price I can afford.

Cremolafoam Sun 30-Jun-13 11:17:09

I love the idea of having my colours done , but yes BTM I'd probably have to chuck my entire wardrobe. I end up buying colours that make me feel good ( colour pops innit) and lots of navy( safe : goes with everything)I tend to wear black for work so am strangely drawn to primary colours for RL. The trick is not to be inexorably drawn to beige- non?
Welcome Bentley . What age are your parents, are they well?

Hattie are you heading to UK for a visit?

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 11:25:08

No APs not well - Dad - advanced Alzheimers, Mum - heart problems (both in their 80s) both still in own home. Not helped by the fact I'm only child and live miles from them.
Agree Cremolafoam I do feel more confident in correct colours. If I want to be accurate HoC I wear black or navy (my best 100% list) with pops of red, purple, bright pink, bright blue. I usually wear black trousers and top with bright scarf, jacket or cardi. Or navy trousers/skirt with red and white. Love some of the dresses in Phase8, but their shape does not flatter mine!

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 30-Jun-13 11:46:07

I'm an only child as well, MB - it is shit, isn't it. My father died in 1999, my mother is, a leetle challenging at times. My cousin and I support each other a lot - her Mum (my Mum's sister) died a few months back, and she is coping with a Dad with Alzheimers, and trying to keep him in his own home. She has a brother in Australia and a sister in Spain, so is basically in the same boat as me. We'll see a lot more of each other when I move back to London in September.

I am meeting a Mumsnetter this afternoon, someone I have been in contact with for about 10 years, but have never met!

I need to lose weight and am thinking of the 5:2 diet. I did something similar in the 1980s, and it worked well for me then.

Cremolafoam Sun 30-Jun-13 11:59:17

Mrs S that sounds exciting- meeting mumsnetter I mean.
I'd so love to meet you all btw.
smile

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 12:22:18

I recently started the 5:2 diet too, but gave up for a while as I was under the weather / unwell, then just sooo tired to want to go back to it. Lost a few pounds in the month I did it, so must go back to it. I started it not just for weight loss. I read research into it helping prevent/delay Alzheimer's and as I fear the possible genetic link I'm really trying to make lifestyle changes. Can't say I'm doing too well with that at the moment as life is getting in the way!

Blackduck Sun 30-Jun-13 12:23:42

MrsS has was the holiday? And I see you didn't get job, are you going to demand a recount on account if shrieking child?
Maybe - mum had heart attack followed by stroke so we are dealing with that at the moment.

I'd be too afraid to get my colours done in case they said sugar pink and other girlie shades were me smile

Blackduck Sun 30-Jun-13 12:25:23

MB - join the club, MI, Herbs and I all 5:2. CV is a low carb person....

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 12:40:32

My sympathy BD, is your mum in hospital? Its awful spending weekends at a hospital bedside! Luckily my mum is out now and on the mend, but caring for dad is proving challenging and support from anyone except village church has been crap!
Winter was the only season I was not expecting when I went to HoC! From reading online I was expecting spring or summer. Although I like the black, navy and bright jewel colours I was disappointed with my choice of pale colours. I love pale blue and yellow. I don't find the icy colours appealing.
From what I saw of other's seasons none are completely girly colours, but even if I had been given a season with corals and pinks I would have chosen other colours from my wallet instead. So I wouldn't worry about being straight-jacketed into sugar pink.

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 12:46:21

MB and MrsS, I am an only too. And miles away from my aged mother.

And I think I am going to have to try the 5:2 for a monthblush

motherinferior Sun 30-Jun-13 12:59:43

I am not 5:2ing this week blush. O god my mum is coming to stay on Friday, which is when there is a do at school I was looking forward to (I don't get out much: it's the school barbecue which is usually a drunken laugh). She will be utterly charming to everyone but I shall have to keep an eye on her, rather than lurching happily up to all the people I know and love.

I did manage to swim this morning - for once the pool was not shut angry. Now frantically practising my solo for next week's concert...

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 13:00:20

Go for it bigTillyMint. A month is only 8 fasts! I found the first one very odd, then next couple a challenge and then got into my stride and they are OK, when you are feeling well. I did feel tired and headachey, so can't face it at the moment. But am planning to start back up in a couple of weeks once I've shaken off this cold and got through the next round of late working evenings, parents visits to establish routines and support, DH working away.

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 13:01:45

solo, Motherinferior? Do you play an instrument or sing? Wish I had a musical talent.

motherinferior Sun 30-Jun-13 13:23:19

Sing. In a small chamber choir.

Blackduck Sun 30-Jun-13 15:34:22

We are singing at the local festival next weekend (Moonriver is off the list I am glad to say, but we are murdering 'dancing cheek to cheek' smile )
Dp is designing our new bathroom - it will cost an arm and several legs by the look of it.

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 16:20:54

BD, I like the sound of that bathroom!

Finally home after another day of taxiing and attending DC's events.

Not sure what my strategy would be on the 5:2 - no breakfast, salad for lunch....confused

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 16:29:12

That was my strategy. No breakfast, salad or soup for lunch, then low calorie dinner. Every time I think I'm hungry I have a drink of water. I avoided fruit as it seems to make me more hungry and eats into the 500 calories a day allowance. Lots of vegetables for dinner instead. Found sugar free chewing gum really useful if I had sweet cravings.

CointreauVersial Sun 30-Jun-13 16:34:13

Afternoon all, hello MB (may I call you that?).

I'm enjoying some rare peace and quiet at the moment; DD1 is at Thorpe Park, DS and DD2 are in next door's swimming pool, having spent the last hour in the field behind the house with the hosepipe, sliding up and down a wet tarpaulin.

I am trying to muster the energy to pull up a few weeds, but the garden is full of building stuff, as our soffits/fascias/guttering replacement is finally underway. Nothing is ever simple with this house, however, and the bottom three rows of roof tiles now have to be re-set, as they were somehow nailed to the soffits, and fell off when they were taken down.hmm

In S&B news, I'm wearing my new cheapo Peacocks maxi skirt today, and very nice it looks too. It's the first day in a while that I didn't have to worry about frostbite of the nether regions, or a soggy hem.

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 16:59:19

Hello CointreaVersial, yes MB is great. I ought to be weeding as well, but I'm far too hot at the moment. How come my weed thrive, but my plants die?
I'm wearing "never seen beyond the garden" clothes! Cropped linen trousers, a baggy teeshirt and trainers! All the wrong colours, but I'm bounded to get dirty in the garden so I don't care if they get wrecked. Family will be back after day out soon, so I ought to get organised, but I've completely run out of steam this weekend.

MaybeBentley Sun 30-Jun-13 17:00:06

Sorry missed a "u" out of your name!

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 17:10:28

CV, linkie!

Might go into the back yard with the pruning shears...

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 17:55:13

Have filled the bin! It's amazing how a bit of full-on pruning can raise your spiritssmile

Cremolafoam Sun 30-Jun-13 20:50:55

Me too btm have filled the brown wheelie bin with my nemeses ( sp)
Buttercups dandelions and ground elder . I now have a smart border along the drive. My legs are wrecked from all the uppy downy action.

I received my eBay boden dress too which is luverly. Just need somewhere to wear itsmile

bigTillyMint Sun 30-Jun-13 20:55:40

linky Cremo!

beachyhead Sun 30-Jun-13 22:53:39

Found you all, welcome MB!

I have also found some interesting blush left behinds in the long grass from the teenage party! dd1 is to clear tomorrow, apparently!

Did a whole weekend of oldies this weekend - PIL's for last night and also going to bed my dad down after his recent hols... delivered bags of ready meals and other bits, so he is set up for the next few days.

Cremolafoam Mon 01-Jul-13 13:45:23

item.mobileweb.ebay.co.uk/viewitem?itemId=400511520951
Bought specifically for relaxing in after operation. Liked the colours smile

Blackduck Mon 01-Jul-13 14:34:41

Beachy - sounds intriguing!

Dp re new bathroom - is £500 too much for a tap? Err, what do you think!! he has sent me a link to the bath (just the bath, nothing else, bearing in mind we need loo, sink, shower, tiling and everything) and whilst it is lovely if this is the cost of things we will all need to move into the bathroom and rent out the rest of the house to pay for it!!

Cremolafoam Mon 01-Jul-13 14:53:42

grin@bd
I bet the bathroom will be amazing although yes 500 notes for a tap does seem , er excessive.
I hope you get a pair at the very least at that pricegrin

bigTillyMint Mon 01-Jul-13 15:04:40

Likey, Cremo - funky!

£500 for a tap!<faints>

herbaceous Mon 01-Jul-13 15:11:56

But I bet it's a lovely tap! My adage about home improvements is to spend money on the things you touch, like taps, worktops, etc. El cheapo bath and bog. Or, indeed, bog standard. Arf.

Hello there MaybeBentley. Nice to see another crepey. Do you too have to put on your reading glasses to pluck your nipple hair?

Back on the 5:2 today, after consuming vast quantities of food over the weekend, mainly at fetes. Had our first Pimms of the year at the delightful Vestry House Museum garden party, where we also won on the tombola... a bottle of wine, three bottles of flavoured oil, a bottle of soy sauce, three penguins, two snickers, a bag of toffees, and a sherbet fountain.

S&B news - just bought very acceptable 34E shock bra from BHS for a mere £14. I think BHS might be the new Primark, in a "I know! BHS!" kind of way.

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 15:44:22

BD, a tap can surely be purchased from Wickes'...or is that just me? A number of Crepeys will vouch for the fact the Inferiority Complex lives up (or down) to its name.

It is however stocked with lovely handwash costing 99p from Aldi, which is a direct copy of Molton Brown.

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 15:45:54

And, as ever, I am totally wrong: Wickes has this...!!!

bigTillyMint Mon 01-Jul-13 16:50:32

Herbs, re nipple hairgrin

I don't think I can do the 5:2 (and def not this week!) - I managed to not eat breakfast, but then stuffed a banana and then lunch... and we should be taking DD out for dinner as DS is away...

I have no idea what we spent on our bathroom taps. But as DH is the complete opposite of MrBD, I can't imagine it broke the bank!

CointreauVersial Mon 01-Jul-13 17:18:15

MrCV doesn't get involved in tap-choosing decisions - he waits for me to present him with a choice of one, which he then rubber-stamps. But I have cheap inexpensive tastes and an eye for a bargain. grin

Work on the guttering is proceeding apace; three-quarters done already, and it looks luffly. Of course, it only serves to highlight the shabbiness of the windows, the front door, the cladding....angry

QueenQueenie Mon 01-Jul-13 18:21:52

Hi Crepeys. Welcome MB!
Not much to report here... Bracing myself for the end of term on Friday (Friday!).
On an s and b note bought some rather wild trousers from <whispers> Boden, on some special deal which made them less outrageously priced. put your sunglasses on.... They are rather lovely (or else I have completely lost the plot... not quite sure which).
Have to drag my weary carcass off the sofa to cook some supper now when I actually want to have a quick nap. Feeling v crepey.

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 18:29:13

Ooh, a bistro crop. I'm quite overcome by the very name.

DD2 is trying to make choux buns in preparation for the school baking competition, which means the kitchen is full of, well, DD2. (DD2 is small but has impact iykwim.) DD1 sensibly suggested a stir-fry for supper, which will work perfectly with the rather random collection of ingredients I was already assembling.

rubyrubyruby Mon 01-Jul-13 18:51:22

Oh good god. I go away for the weekend and lose you all.

I will never catch up!
....... and who the fuck started this thread?

Hello MB grin

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Jul-13 18:53:13

What is a bistro crop? Is there a brasserie one as well? grin

I asked two colleagues (both who have children) their views on my disastrous phone interview the other week, when one of the women interviewing me had her screaming child in the room (screaming directly into the speaker phone) and one said it was utterly unprofessional, and the other said "oh these things happen." I said "Not in my house they don't, and shouldn't do, under any circumstances." I didn't receive an apology either - the woman simply said "oh she's tired."

I have emailed to complain and said that a sincere apology would have been nice - there was nothing about it in the feedback I got, which was all gloom and doom over how crap I was. Not even a shit sandwich approach.

rubyrubyruby Mon 01-Jul-13 18:54:17

A bistro crop? is that kitchens or hair related?

Beachy - were there <<whispers>> condoms in your undergrowth?
<<hoiks bosom>>

rubyrubyruby Mon 01-Jul-13 18:55:53

grin x-post with MrsS.

Blackduck Mon 01-Jul-13 18:56:19

Can I point out (£500 taps aside) Mr BD most assuredly does not expensive tastes.... What he does have is a strong sense of what he wants it to look like and therein lies the problem grin
And I bet my house could any of yours a run for the money in the shabby (forget chic) stakes smile

MaybeBentley Mon 01-Jul-13 18:57:12

Good evening ladies!
"Do you too have to put on your reading glasses to pluck your nipple hair?" grin. No obvious nipple hair yet! But definitely need the reading glasses to shave my legs, read a packet and file my nails. My eyes seem to be deteriorating so rapidly. I stood on the scales this morning and I've put on 3lb! Must get back to 5:2. Not tomorrow though, working late. How did you find the fast day herbaceous?
I'm amazed at the price of those taps! I want to replace my bathroom, but with those sort of prices I'll be saving a while longer.
"left behinds" beachyhead???? My imagination is running riot!
LOVE the trousers QueenQueenie. Such an amazing colour. Are they wool?

Blackduck Mon 01-Jul-13 18:58:30

Oh MrsS was the feed back really crap?
QQ -they are very, erm bright

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Jul-13 18:59:38

Yes, sadly, it was that bad. The only nice thing they had to say about me was that I seemed enthusiastic about the job. sad

Blackduck Mon 01-Jul-13 19:00:22

I am not sure whether to be shock at the thought of condoms, or to think 'sensible teens' smile

Blackduck Mon 01-Jul-13 19:01:06

MrsS sad - was it the screaming child that threw you off your stride?

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 19:33:38

That is truly crap, MrsS. I am so sorry.

bigTillyMint Mon 01-Jul-13 19:45:29

MrsSsad So sorry, too. And angry about the screaming child.

Love the strides, QQ - I have some bright orange ones (which a friend's 11yo SON told me were a really lovely colour the other nightsmile) I love brights!

Just been out for some dinner (at the pub we went to before MI's party) with DD and DH - even had a civilised chat with hershock!

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 20:06:47

DD2's choux buns - with whipped cream and choc sauce and all - look successful shock

bigTillyMint Mon 01-Jul-13 20:08:11

You could upload a pic, MI - see below!

QueenQueenie Mon 01-Jul-13 20:45:09

I was trying to blot out the memory of the name... "bistro crop" ffs. I bought them in "long" so they're not actually cropped, more 7/8ths. They are in fact a flamingo pink colour. And yes, MB, they are wool with a bit of something stretchy. I nearly bought them in navy then thought what the heck... please stage an intervention when I announce I am planning to dye my hair that hideous purply red much favoured around here by women of a certain age who think it's adventurous... TIA.

rubyrubyruby Mon 01-Jul-13 20:45:26

Sorry the interview feedback wasn't great MrsS. Screaming child obviously a contributing factor as you were really pee'd off about it at the time I remember.

Survey on our new house tomorrow

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Jul-13 20:48:38

Is that "Sharon Osborne Red" QQ?

QueenQueenie Mon 01-Jul-13 20:49:53

I/v fiasco sounds v irritating Mrs S.
I'd be telling myself I wouldn't want to work for a company that thinks that's a satisfactory way of doing things... and then doesn't apologise. Onward and upward.

bigTillyMint Mon 01-Jul-13 20:51:05

Oooh ruby, fingers crossed it's all good (the photo's certainly looked it - I am still thinking about what a lovely place we could get if we sold up here...)

I am NEVER, NOT EVER, going to dye my hair that Sharon Osborne red!

QueenQueenie Mon 01-Jul-13 20:51:26

x posts!
Mmmm sort of Mrs O red, but more purple, in a horrible sort of two tone / irridescent way.

QueenQueenie Mon 01-Jul-13 20:52:34

Oh and forgot to say, magnificent thread title MI!

rubyrubyruby Mon 01-Jul-13 22:18:18

grin bTM about relocating - I've been doing the same after our weekend in North Yorkshire. We could get a 4 bed cottage and 53 acres!

beachyhead Mon 01-Jul-13 22:57:20

Miserable about interview, Mrs S - very unprofessional!

Good luck with your survey Ruby.

Yes, in two minds about undesirables in the long grass - just the various flattened down patches made me smile.

Blackduck Tue 02-Jul-13 06:11:06

Random thought of the day - since when did lol become a word?

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 02-Jul-13 07:28:05

Not just a word - it's a verb - "I was lolling at that."

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 02-Jul-13 07:29:28

And a noun. The plural is "lolz". <shudders>

MaybeBentley Tue 02-Jul-13 07:31:52

Must be my age - I hate all text-speak!
Woken early and full of beans this morning for a change. I actually have energy, so watered the garden, tidied the house and made packed lunches, washing load, etc. already - WOW.
Now the decision of what to wear before the bathroom gets hogged. Still watching weather forecast trying to make up my mind. Probably trousers and a shirt (feel frump alert, but it is what I've got and suits my working day)
What is you morning beauty regime folks? - mine is face wash in the shower. Hair wash and shower, with nivea in-shower mosituriser, but a bit of extra spray oil on my v dry shins (if I can stay away from the dog so he doesn't lick it all off - yuck), Origins and L'Occitane face creams, minimal makeup and 3 minute blowdry.

rubyrubyruby Tue 02-Jul-13 08:07:22

Hello MB - welcome to crepesville smile
I have a licky dog too - yuck.

My morning routine is wash face with cleanser, scrub or just water depending on how it feels. Eye cream, serum, moisturiser and sun block on face and quick slap of body lotion. I shower daily but only wash my hair every 5 few days <<slattern>> when I'm working I sunblock only.

Btw crepeys. I have given up on the going grey gracefully and dyed it again blush I may review it again when I'm 60

bigTillyMint Tue 02-Jul-13 09:26:54

Oh ruby! It looked lovely at MI's!

My morning routine sounds similar to rubys and I also only wash my hair every few days, partly because it's so thick and partly because it's usually fine for a few days!

Cremolafoam Tue 02-Jul-13 09:33:55

I am a daily bath at night person usually with lavender froth . Gentle face wash from Avene and then lashings of Aveeno all over. It's a ritual that helps me sleep. Wash my hair 3-4 times a week and have a cheapo blow dry if I'm feeling in need of nurturing( been doing this a lot recently) There's an express blow dry place near work that will do a 30 minute job for £7 that I can squeeze into my lunch hour.
I love citrus products so Vetiver stuff from Occitane or Crabtree and Evelyn lime oil products are my small luxuries of choice.
Makeup wise I used lilylolo mineral for years but have recently been persuaded( on here ) into using bourjois gel foundation which is pretty damn good . Navy mascara, bit of blush and one of the 10,OOO brown pink lippys I have amassed. ( Laura mercier/ no 7 etc)
I have never had a manicure in my lifeshock
I do need my eyebrows done but am afeared of the HD things I have seen about the office recently.grin

herbaceous Tue 02-Jul-13 09:38:01

Shower. Wash hair every two days. Though there's lots of it, it's very fine and sticks to my head with the smallest amount of grease. But washing it so often makes it very dry, so I have to bung on loads of conditioner. Which makes it greasy. Ad infinitum.

Wash, scrub or ignore face. Some kind of oil/serum thingo, then moisturiser. Aveeno on the body. BB cream, eyeliner, mascara, some kind of lip gloss/stick. Done.

Had been putting Vicks on my manky toenails to cure them of 'the claw' before the summer, but now it's the summer and they're still clawlike, so I've covered them in orange nail varnish instead.

Cremolafoam Tue 02-Jul-13 09:38:37

Gold star Bentley for getting us back on topic

Lolz

Stropperella Tue 02-Jul-13 10:24:29

MrsS, damn shame about the job. I hope you get an apology about the interview.

Hello MB (and indeed everybody else on this shiny, new, perfectly-named thread).

I have been keeping a low profile as I still have a case of the "Mehs", mainly due to an extreme lack of sleep. Also, my face seems to have melted. This is a bummer. My morning regime will henceforth have to include duck tape, polyfiller and sanding. As it is, I am a bath at night person, so mornings are a face wash with <gasp> soap (it's that Dead Sea mud soap, which I switched to about a year ago after a recommendation on MN and it is completely fab), slap on Finacea ant-rosacea gel in certain areas, spritz with rosewater toner, drop of oil on crispy neck wattle and then slather on tinted factor 50 moisturizer. I don't bother with daytime makeup except sometimes when I put on a bit of eyeliner and lipbalm/gloss. I only wear makeup for evenings out.

Chicken house arriving tomorrow. Am still not sure about whole chooks idea, but it's a bit late now. Beachy, please tell me I'm doing the right thing smile

Dd's 15th birthday tomorrow. I do not have a plan because, as ever, she has not told me that she wants to do anything at all. This means that either I invent something she wants to do and arrange it, or she will not celebrate her birthday at all aside from a cake and meal with us. I suspect this is possibly not the way many 15 year old girls operate. She has just told me that she is applying for a Saturday job, though. ("Because I have to start somewhere.")

Got a lovely message yesterday from the client we were (ahem) socialising with last week. I was beginning to worry we had drunkenly put our foot in it. (All the alcohol was entirely her husband's fault as he kept ordering more and more wine. Which it would clearly have been rude not to drink. grin ) Ah the perils of mixing business with pleasure...

Stropperella Tue 02-Jul-13 10:27:17

"anti-rosacea", obvs. I don't want any of that ant-rosacea, oh no.

motherinferior Tue 02-Jul-13 11:04:05

I am a shower at night and scrabble for the bathroom person in the mornings grin

motherinferior Tue 02-Jul-13 11:13:57

Crepeys: do you Views on jeans with polyester in the mix? I am in need of a new pair. Uniqlo's cheap but often good ones (if bought as tight as possible) have polyester in them now...

Blackduck Tue 02-Jul-13 11:20:34

Bath here, hair wash every other night (shower too grim to contemplate, but when dp has finished I'll live in the shower if only to justify the cost).

I don't do make up, ever, (I feel like a clown adn dp looks at me funny)

ds is in a tres funny mood - anyone esle got a Y5 and got any ideas? (it could be the moving on thing - he is in a mixed Y5/6 class so very aware of the changes, plus his teacher is leaving, actually, scrap that, half the staff are leaving. Apparently at least one child bursts into tears everyday at the moment..)

MI - don't like streatch in jeans, but find it hard to avoid...

bigTillyMint Tue 02-Jul-13 13:07:01

I only do stretch jeans with a belt (owing to my thunder thighs), but I don't look at the material as I just thought it would be cotton and lycraconfused

Stropps, I am envy of your DD as my DD has organised her joint party involving a sleepover at ours for 10. And now sushi (which she and the other birthday girl will make before they go into town for dinner(confused, but one friend is doing Ramadam so will need to eat after dark...) and it's over my (and DH's) last 2 days of term. She hasn't mentioned a cake yet.

Stropperella Tue 02-Jul-13 13:22:45

I am not liking the sound of polyester-mix jeans. I like (and indeed need) a bit of spandex to cope with my mid-life lumps and bumps, but 30% polyester in jeans sounds .. wrong. And possibly a bit hot and itchy.

Then again, is having an aversion to polyester in general just a strange type of middle-aged snobbery? I wear more viscose than I like to admit these days and no one really seems to notice. The one material that I really hate is modal. My belief is that modal was created by an evil scientist who was on a mission to make average women feel REALLY bad about themselves. It clings to bits you didn't even know you had.

Stropperella Tue 02-Jul-13 13:26:43

X-posts, BTM. Yeah, I probably shouldn't complain about dd's complete lack of interest in social things. There may be a complete sea-change by this time next year and she will organize a 16th b-day party via FB (she has a ludicrous 400 FB friends) and my house will be a smoking ruin (and all the grass in the garden will be flattened grin ).

motherinferior Tue 02-Jul-13 14:58:00

Not that any of us ever flattened grass in our time, oh no

<wistful sigh>

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 02-Jul-13 19:04:43

I grew up in the country. I flattened a lot of grass on the towpath along the river Thames.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 02-Jul-13 19:07:12

And discovered another use for dick leaves. blush

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 02-Jul-13 19:07:55

dock leaves, dock leaves. FFS, sausage fingers. And Freudian slip!

alto1 Tue 02-Jul-13 19:18:12

Right first time MrsS grin

MaybeBentley Tue 02-Jul-13 19:44:09

MrsS grin - that really made me smile, I've had a heavy day, so it is nice to have a giggle. It may be on Tuesday, but I feel the vino calling.

Cremolafoam Tue 02-Jul-13 22:05:47

Snorts @ dick leavesgringrin

CointreauVersial Tue 02-Jul-13 22:16:14

<snigger> at dick leaves.

Had a blood test this morning; will find out next Wednesday if I'm in a state of hormonal collapse, devoid of iron or thyroid function, or just a lazy, moody cow.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 02-Jul-13 22:20:35

My period is a week late. No premenstrual symptoms, nothing. Is this it, the Big M?

CointreauVersial Tue 02-Jul-13 22:30:33

In DC news, I had a call from the Head of Y8 today, to say that DS had been involved in an incident at school. A boy, who DS knows, but isn't close to, stole some sleeping tablets (ffs!) from his mother, and handed them around a few of the Y8 boys. DS stuck one in his pocket, but then decided to get rid of it, and gave it to another boy....who swallowed it, as did a couple of other boys. One had an allergic reaction and was rushed to hospital, and the proverbial s**t hit the fan.

DS was very shocked and upset, but was regarded as having "done the right thing" by not taking the tablet, and coming clean with the school, although we have taken him to task about a) taking part in the "distribution" and b) hanging round with such a bunch of utter muppets. The boy who brought the pills into school has been suspended.

Nightmare. I'm hoping it's a timely lesson, and not the shape of things to come.sad

Oh shit cointreau, that's really bad! At least DS was sensible enough not to take the tablet. As harsh as it sounds, I hope he learns a lesson from it and doesn't repeat that kind of behaviour again. It must be so worrying for you sad

bigTillyMint Wed 03-Jul-13 08:03:49

dick leavesgrin

CV, sound like your DS tried to do the right thing. He is usually sensible-ish, isn't he?envy
As for the hanging round with a bunch of muppets... are there any teen boys who aren't muppets at least some of the time? Or is it just my DS and his mates?!

wilbur Wed 03-Jul-13 08:38:13

Aha, you're all here, flattening grass without me. I have been getting dh and the dss to wee around the back of the garden to discourage the foxes, and there are so many nettles there, they may indeed require dick leaves... Although it looks like ds2 has been bitten by something grim and has come out in a rash, so he's off weeing duty for a while.

CV - sorry about ds's school nightmare - I think it's likely to have been a timely warning about taking things that someone gives you and hopefully a lesson learned. And agree with BTM - boys en masse are muppets much of the time. I had to have a discussion with ds1 about the phrase "rape face" which seems to being bandied about at school. They are 12 ffs, and ds1 is a very gentle soul, but even he thought it was ok to use these terms. Some of them are promoted in gaming which really makes me angry. I have taken to reporting You Tube posts that refer to it. <channels Mary Whitehouse>

On a lighter note, I have decided my summer wardrobe has too much beige in it, which is maybe why I feel meh when I look at it. And I think maybe beige is not the right colour for me anyway. I went out in dark skinnies and a fitted navy t-shirt yesterday and got several compliments, so maybe dark is better.

And welcome maybebentley - glad to have you on board. smile

bigTillyMint Wed 03-Jul-13 08:44:52

Wilbur, I haven't heard the term rape face yetshock

And I cannot wear beige. At least, not next to my face. And I just changed a navy cardi for a bright crimson one - felt instantly more youthful!

herbaceous Wed 03-Jul-13 09:05:26

I'm on a mission to wear more colour also. Just got a bright red cardi, and have ordered some fit flop pumps in 'hibiscus'. A colour experiment safely fat from my face!

The closest my DS has got to unsavoury language was telling me a lion was going to put me in the bin lorry because I asked him to stop throwing his cereal round the kitchen this morning.

Stropperella Wed 03-Jul-13 09:16:37

CV that must have been a nasty shock. Hopefully your ds will have learnt something useful, although you never can tell with teens as to what exactly goes in..

<heavy sigh> I have a newly-15-year-old dd who is refusing to go to school today. She says she has no friends (no one has ever invited her to all sorts of parties that she sees being set up via FB), she has failed/will fail all her tests, she hates "all" the teachers and she hates and has always hated her step-father. <even heavier sigh> I know this stuff is festering around under the surface all the time (hence my misgivings about her lack of a social life) but she refuses to do anything to help herself and rebuffs all my attempts to help her. She is adamant that all her woes are everyone else's fault and is requesting a new school, new home, new everything etc etc. And doing the I wish I was dead thing. I have no idea what to do. Have not yet phoned the school because I don't know what to say. She is being an utter toddler, really, but the naughty step is not an option. Ideas?

Blackduck Wed 03-Jul-13 09:35:43

Dick leaves grin

Stropps - sorry, no idea, but sounds hard. My tearie 10 yr old sounds positively simple in comparison.

hattymattie Wed 03-Jul-13 10:17:43

Wow I go away for two days and there is a lot of catching up to do. Hello MB. Have been to London and failed to get a cocktail dress. I feel now I've no hips and no waist I just look like a man in drag in a dress sad. My French friend got two dresses but she of course eats nothing and has a sublime figure. (She's also 5 years younger).

Saw three uni campuses with DD and liked Kings the best. She's now on her taster course in Cambridge and has gone incommunicado hmm.

DD2 had made a quiche and salad for my return last night so am feeling very proud. Now I have to catch up on all the washing.

Mrs S - I think it's outrageous giving you bad feedback when they had screaming child in background. You should have given them some feedback yourself!

By the way - found London Underground spotless compared to Paris.

motherinferior Wed 03-Jul-13 10:19:29

Oh Stropps. And how very hard for you - it's that thing where you don't know what you can/should be fixing 'for' her...

bigTillyMint Wed 03-Jul-13 11:11:41

Stropps, my sympathies totally. DD is going through a tricky period too - will PM you.

Hatty, I told you to invite some crepey personal shopperswink
Uni visiting sounds good - I overheard DD talking to a friend about choosing one miles awaygrin

Cremolafoam Wed 03-Jul-13 12:40:50

Strops take it from me 14-15 is the worst . Dd was vile during this period and even now at 18 recognises it as such . I think it's the brink of their true personalities being born. Peers suddenly become so important- their opinions count for everything and poor dd is then stuck between a whole load of what she wants to do( prob still too young) and what she knows she's supposed to be doing( what mum thinks is right) throw in what the teachers expect if her, what the magazines think she ought to look like and the dazzling attraction of risky behaviour and you've got a right witches brew.
I certainly felt like I was no longer a parent at this time and had transitioned into a ' consultant'
It will take a while but she will emerge
Better braver brighter.
This too shall pass

Hattie:
Was it kings london or kings cambridge you liked? Dd is currently at Clare open day today . smile

Cremolafoam Wed 03-Jul-13 12:42:43

Oh and Facebook is the devil.

Cremolafoam Wed 03-Jul-13 12:45:01

Oh and I had a particularly sordid moment( not proudblush) when I threw dds mobile in the septic tank.

motherinferior Wed 03-Jul-13 13:12:44

ARSE. My childcare for tomorrow just fell through. Have patched together but Could Do Without This. DP, by contrast, is swanning off to sodding Milan...

In S&B news let me recommend this lot who do very nice little serums. Not the face cream so much, though.

Blackduck Wed 03-Jul-13 13:29:07

I did smile at septic tank....

Bugger MI - I know how it feels!

motherinferior Wed 03-Jul-13 14:11:30

AIBU to tell them - aged 10, 12 and 17 (the babysitter) - that they can cook their own damn tea, too? DD1 has been grumbling about 'having to do so much cooking' (ie putting the occasional thing in the oven, and/or making a salad) which makes me quite enraged.

I have in fact slammed together the makings of tonight's supper (the onions I'm going to put on a sheet of puff pastry, with a bit of thyme and some parmesan) but that is because I have to eat too.

addle Wed 03-Jul-13 14:26:35

Stropps, my daughter is now 19 and I agree with everyone else, I found 14–15 really, really hard (as did she) and then she started to come out of it, and will now cheerfully discuss how foul she used to be. Question of getting through it somehow and accepting that you may not know for years, or ever, what is/was the right thing to do, just doing your best. Sympathies

Stropperella Wed 03-Jul-13 15:07:49

Many thanks for all the support, crepsters (BTM, have pm'd you). I rang the school and talked to a very sympathetic dep HoY (helps that I know him outside school) and managed to stay firm but fair with dd (I think). I am v. pleased that for once I did not shout. smile She eventually pulled herself together, opened her birthday cards, ate her packed lunch and then I walked her to school. I assume she made it into lessons, although I think I will email them just to check. There is the small matter of half a day's work lost for me, but hey ho.

Dep HoY is going to have a word with a couple of teachers and we will see what transpires. My main objective is to try and ensure that she ends the year on a relatively positive note. We can but try. At least she went into school this pm and has, I hope, got some stress out of her system.

<<gives serious consideration to relieving stress by running around the house screaming, crying, slamming doors and then hiding under the duvet wailing "I'm soooooo angry and I don't know whyyyyyyyyyyyy". After all it's cheaper and less fattening than wine>>

bigTillyMint Wed 03-Jul-13 15:25:48

Oh God, DD isn't 14 for 3 weeks - I (and she!) have another year of it yet? She said Y9 has been really hard - we were both hoping Y10 would be bettersad

Glad to hear your DD is a bit more positive - at least she is "letting it all out"

alto1 Wed 03-Jul-13 20:34:05

Had a lovely w/e with friends and managed to hold on to the glow for a couple of days. Mandatory training today has doused it, though. Nasty sexist man showing off, mainly. Cold room, wet floors in loo, time crawling, loads of work waiting for me. Thought about early retirement almost all day (if only).

On more cheerful note, have booked holiday in lakes. We realised we couldn't afford Germany and I was nervous about driving there (don't they go v v fast?). But lakes will be lovely and we can take ddog.

Sorry to hear of teenage anxieties - ours is still angelic, if no longer hygienic. I have more problems with my dm to be honest.

In S & B news, I bought some wearable but non-frumpy heels in the sales so that I can wear dresses and skirts - but since then it's been too cold <wimp emoticon>

Stropperella Wed 03-Jul-13 20:35:28

Gah, I could say a lot of stuff now, but it's not politic. Suffice to say, I think I could write a dissertation on "Adolescent histrionics: when to take them seriously and when to call your dcs' bluff". hmm

QueenQueenie Wed 03-Jul-13 20:57:33

Poor you Stropps. You have my sympathy. My teenagers are 90% fabulous and 10% hideous for which I'm very grateful.
I have cultivated the goal of NOT JOINING IN with the bad behaviour and generally but by no means always succeed.
They do need you just to be there and to withstand their awfulness I think.
When she is calm rather than hysterical can you talk calmly with her? If she is truly miserable does she want to talk to someone? Counselling? Childline? If you think she's very unhappy rather than just stroppy / hormonal / moody she may need you to get her some help... How worried about her are you or is the feeling mostly exasperation rather than anxiety?

wilbur Wed 03-Jul-13 21:37:26

Ds2's rash turns out to be shingles, not insect bites sad. Poor thing - he's had such terrible hayfever and now this. He's been laying about this afternoon, really tired which is so unlike him. Not sure if it's the shingles or the anti-viral he's been given to combat them.

Stropps, so sorry about dd, but I can add to the evidence of 14/15 year old angst as I was a complete cow to my parents and beyond miserable at times and then completely fine at other times. Oh, and I had zero friends, for various reasons, and spent every weekend forever sat on the sofa listening to my parents have dinner parties. BUT it all got a lot better in sixth form where I met a lot of lovely folk I still hang about with today. It sounds like she has good support at school and home, she will get there, I'm sure.

Stropperella Wed 03-Jul-13 22:13:02

Oh Wilbur, you poor wee ds2. Shingles is miserable. Hope he gets better soon.

QQ, she had a referral to Camhs last summer, but refused to cooperate with a school counsellor or with Camhs. Still utterly refuses to admit there is any actual problem. She is currently completely calm, happily playing with her hamster, and all excited about the arrival of our chickens on Saturday. Many parents I know would sell their souls for a teenage girl who is happy with a hamster and chickens. So is it all bad? Probably not.
I admit to being anxious when she gets v. upset, not least because she has been known to do some fairly extreme things. Sometimes I can't help feeling that if she were in the school year below at this stage, things would be quite different.

bigTillyMint Wed 03-Jul-13 22:14:50

Me too, Stropps!

How do you ignore tone of voice issues?

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 03-Jul-13 22:20:02

I made an interesting salad tonight to go with our curry - tomato, cucumber, mango, green chilli, green pepper, onion and fresh coriander all swooshed together with olive oil and vinegar and a small teaspoon of fennel seeds and a bit of salt. Delish.

Sorry to hear about the shingles, Wilbur, that can be so painful. sad

DD1 is nearly 15 and so far very little trouble at all. She is, however, very young for her age, and only interested in boys if she can beat them at chess or play football with them. I think DD2 will be Trouble when she hits that age though, as she is much more like me feisty than DD1.

CointreauVersial Wed 03-Jul-13 22:25:08

<stuffs fingers in ears, not listening to any more stories of high-maintenance teens>

Poor DS with shingles, Wilbur. Why did I think only adults caught shingles?

All quiet at Chateau Cointreau; the fuss over DS's pill antics has died down, and Lessons have been Learned.

Meanwhile, it is Day 20 (20!!) of my period, and the worst day yet. Flooded the bed again this morning, then had to make a couple of dashes to the loo at work (I wore a dark skirt in a busy print, just in case). Pints of blood and clots. sad Miserable.

alto1 Wed 03-Jul-13 22:35:59

That's awful, CV and definitely not just something up with which you should put. Sorry, can't remember if you've seen GP yet but you need to (and go back if you've been already).

motherinferior Wed 03-Jul-13 22:41:43

Yep, get thee to the doc pronto!

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 03-Jul-13 22:56:50

Jeesuz, CV, go to the blardy doctor, that cannot be right! Mine continues to be smugly absent, no signs of making its presence felt, no rabid, snarly PMS, no period pain, no hurty bosoms. Perhaps you have mine as well, CV?

CointreauVersial Wed 03-Jul-13 23:11:40

Well, I have been period-free since Oct/Nov last year, so I guess they've all come at once. I already have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday (when he should have my blood test results), so I'll hang on until then, although every day I think "this must be the end of it, surely there's no more left in there?" I have to confess I was actually quite worried today.sad But what else could it be but a monster period? Bah!

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 03-Jul-13 23:14:49

I expect mine will launch forth when I am having fun this weekend.

Cremolafoam Wed 03-Jul-13 23:25:36

CV you have my every sympathy. That is indeed grim. I'd be beside myself with self pity- you are beyond stoic.thanks
Oh Wilbur shingles- poor wee sausage . Has he got the rash of doom? I've had it twice on alternate sides. Pain is ghastly -poor child.hopefully it will be a brief bout.thanks

Stropps you are doing everything right -dont forget look after yourself too-thanks

Dd is stuck on a guy who ' just wants to be friends'
queue -tears at bedtime
< rolls eyes / passes tissues>

Blackduck Thu 04-Jul-13 06:11:25

Ds had shingles last year (during the are we moving or not period) I didn't know children could get it either and he had absolutely no symptoms outside of the rash (which I didn't see until he was on the other side of contagion hmm bad mother alert)

I, too was a awful 15 year old, can recall picking a fight with my mother ever single night for a least a term - and was friendless too (had moved schools) I could, as my mum would say, have fought with myselfsmile

Mum has Royal Brompton appointment next Friday re bypass - I can feel my stress levels rising already.

CV I think my longest period was about three weeks and didn't really tail off, just stopped. I haven't had one since at least Dec.

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 07:41:57

CV, you poor thing - that sounds dreadful. Fingers crossed it stops before too long. Are you feeling really washed out?

And poor little-Wilbur. I didn't realise children could get shingles either.

My BF from school came to stay last night (at 2-day conference) and took me out for dinner - very nice to catch up - we don't get to see each other much these days and she won't do FB!

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 07:42:33

Meant to say good luck with your mum's appointment, BD!

beachyhead Thu 04-Jul-13 08:09:46

Stropps, it's so hard to watch the 'hate everything about my life' stage. To be fair, dd1 didn't suffer, but I know ds1, who is 12, has been there intermittently since he was 8 or so. I spoke to a friend, who is a psychiatric nurse, who explained the constant round of enforcing their low esteem. So if he hears three lovely comments about him during the day, from friends or teachers, then one shouting or teasing or telling off, that is the only one he will remember or take away from the day, as it reinforces his opinion of himself.

It's a real circle and hard for them to see the way out. Lots of calm encouragement and positive reinforcement and sitting it out seem to be the way to go, although CBT counselling can help them recognise the positive signs and ignore or balance the negative thoughts. You seem to be doing exactly the right thing at the moment, but I know how hard it is...

Right amateur analysis over and to give you all a laugh, I bought these beauties which in the shop I tried to convince myself were quirky, but actually they are just plain ugly and are being returned today. I hate shoe shopping for work.

beachyhead Thu 04-Jul-13 08:12:23

Oh and on chickens Stropps, never underestimate the the healing effects of chickens. They are perfect and will give her a summer long focus. Set up a bench nearby for chicken watching.

beachyhead Thu 04-Jul-13 08:18:25

Can't get my link to work, so scrolling needed!
Piquet wedges

wilbur Thu 04-Jul-13 08:32:17

Beachy - agree that the wedges are a little orthopedic, even for a crepey. Yes, shoes for work are a nightmare - I'm up and down a metal spiral staircase at work which are a deathtrap without adding heels.

I want some chickens too envy. Maybe Stropps can do some kind of adopt a chicken for the chickenless, like the Dogs Trust do. Mainly I want one of these. grin

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 09:25:21

I have just picked these up - they have already been much admired at worksmile

Stropperella Thu 04-Jul-13 09:45:38

CV, that sounds horrendous. I'd not be tough enough to hold out for another week to see the doc. Hope things settle down for you way before next Wed.

Here, dd seems to have reverted to entirely normal adolescent surliness. I predict another possible bout of hoo-hah on Fri, as she has (another) important maths exam for which she has done cack-all revision. O joy, rapture, etc etc. <<Takes Zen pills>>

Beachy, thank you! I have been having a major wibble about the chooks. I shall drag our garden bench down there this morning in preparation for chicken therapy. grin Also, what you say about them only hearing the negative comments is so true. I see this phenomenon with dd all the time. I do think that being young for the year and in some ways young for her age has been a major disadvantage to her in her school career. She has spent forever playing catch-up, which has been exhausting and, of course, fruitless. If she had been born 2 months later and been one of the oldest in the year, rather than one of the youngest, I think it would have made a big difference to her attitude to school.

Re shoes: I tried to buy some when on my hols, as the Germans and Austrians appear to have wider feet than the Brits, which means I can find stuff to fit me much more easily than I can here. However, I found myself inexorably drawn to the orthopedic shoes in the various shops and convinced myself that a certain pair of sandals were really nice. And then just before making my purchase, I saw that this very pair were on the trotters of some properly old person who was browsing next to me and in one fell swoop I lost the confidence to make any shoe shopping decisions at all. End result = no shoes.

Wilbur grin at the frizzy bird. 'Fraid mine will be v. dull-looking in comparison.

Stropperella Thu 04-Jul-13 09:48:39

Nice sandals, BTM. BTW, re: your tone of voice query - I'm afraid I don't deal at all well with it. I react to it every time. In part because if I let stuff like that go, ds starts doing what dd does and sorry, but I'm really not EVER going to tolerate it coming from an 8 year old. So it gets the ton of bricks treatment.

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 11:15:06

DD is summer-born too! (end of July) Maybe that is part of the problem?

I also find it very difficult to ignore, but I managed it the other night, and the conversation then moved onto a more normal tone. I must try harder.

addle Thu 04-Jul-13 11:42:33

DS is mid August and it seems very cyclical - sometimes he's fine and sometimes he seems much younger emotionally than his peers. And he's another who only sees the gloom in everything. Requires a lot of cheerfulness from parents, which doesn't come naturally to me as am a fretter.

Nice sandals BTM - do you think they really tone up?

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 12:03:30

Addle, I've no idea - I just bought them because they are comfy to walk in all daygrin

DD doesn't seem as resilient as she presents outwardly and is obviously finding it difficult to tell us when she is feeling upset about stuff...

I need to keep up my calm, patient, up-beat demeanour (that I manage all day at work) at home, which is rather drainingconfused

Stropperella Thu 04-Jul-13 14:22:27

I'm afraid I am by nature anything but calm, patient and upbeat. I am a stressed-out, over-anxious doom merchant. However, beating myself up about this won't help either. I tell myself that lots of people survive really, really bad situations and grow up perfectly fine. We do NOT need to be perfection personified. Part of adolescence is coping with the fact that your parents are real people and they have flaws. It's also about learning to take responsibility for stuff. It's not easy for either party, but I don't see that me tolerating rudeness and snarkiness is going to make them better people. Or indeed happier in themselves.

Also, I won't be held to ransome by bad behaviour. I've already had that horrible thing where she's run off and I had to contact the police. I know what it feels like. But that doesn't mean I can give in to her when she's behaving like an arse. She has a choice, just the same as everyone else. She did at least apologise yesterday. Eventually. I strive for firm but fair. Don't always manage it, but I try.

hattymattie Thu 04-Jul-13 15:22:39

crem My DD1 and yours must have crossed. She was also there Wed for Law open day and visiting colleges. She said she loved Clare but also several other colleges. The problem now is she'll be devasted if she doesn't get in. I've told her the chances are very slim.

Another who thought Shingles was for grown-ups poor child.

I'm not online very much at the moment as DS cracked the laptop screen. Definitely a case of "wait till your father gets home" last night. He went to bed ultra early and pretended to be asleep! I am now on DD1's laptop and had to ask her very nicely to text me her password! In fact I had to beg!!

DH says I should get an ipad but I don't know if they are good for typing.

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 15:32:42

Stropps, so true.
And I think DD knows that most of the time, but I think stuff from school got on top of her and so anything at home was just overload.

I need to force myself to remind her about tone of voice, etc in a non-snappy waysmile
I don't give in. Maybe that's part of the problemsmile

Fingers crossed for the DD's wanting to get into Oxbridge - Law there must be very competitive?

DH only uses his ipad for surfing. I don't really like it, but I think that's just because I'm not used to it. IMHO it's utterly useless for wordprocessing as it doesn't have word and therefore useless for anything other than research for homework!

beachyhead Thu 04-Jul-13 15:36:11

Talking of cracked screens, my dh dropped and cracked my iPhone last night....

It might be a case of LTB.

bigTillyMint Thu 04-Jul-13 15:39:13

grin

Cremolafoam Thu 04-Jul-13 16:12:21

Hattie oh that's funny they were there at the same time. Yes absolute long shot for dd too. Needless to say she loved Clare and got to stay in the halls and chat to head of dept. wants to do HSPS and likes clare because of music opps there. Motley than likely to end up in the 'pool' anyhoo.

However edinburgh might just swoop to pole position over cambs . She likes the idea of being able to work at the Festival and do more than one subject( in Scotland you can start your first year with 4 subjects before specialising )
It'll all come out in wash I say.

We are recruiting ATM and 2,400 people applied for 6 jobs. The short list contains 4 people with PhDs .
The job is basically to show people to their seats in a big venue. shock

Degree schmee.wink

motherinferior Thu 04-Jul-13 17:01:34

I just played Tough with a client and feel quite nervous. Actually I played tough with two - I charged one on the basis of word rate rather than hourly input which err was quite a lot more; the other is someone I've done an editing job for, for which I quoted 10 days at a rather nice rate. It's taken me rather a lot longer, but I've said all along that I'll absorb that as it was an under-estimate on my part AND the fee is pretty damn good.

I've also made it clear that any changes from now on are extra - and that I'll charge for them. In some ways I feel 'ooh, if I've done a bad job surely that should be absorbed' - I know they have 'some tweaks and changes'. OTOH they have had the copy for ages - the first lot went in over a month ago, at a timetable we'd agreed - and I did say a while back that anything that happens after I've submitted my final invoice (which went in today) is extra. And said (politely) that yes do let me know about final changes with an estimate of how many days you think this will take.

AIBU? Or alternatively am I being Entirely Reasonable?

addle Thu 04-Jul-13 18:16:31

Entirely Reasonable and Professional, especially given the lapse in time. I'm waiting for similar responses and not looking forward to it.

Cremolafoam Thu 04-Jul-13 18:17:44

Entirely reasonable MI .
< nods sagely>
Because you're worth it.

Cremolafoam Thu 04-Jul-13 18:18:55

I seem to have lost the power to use <<>>'s
Hmm

motherinferior Thu 04-Jul-13 20:07:50

My grim fear is that the Dame In Charge - who has been utterly unconcerned so far bar one phone call in which she was profoundly useless ("are you talking to medical specialists" - er yes because that is what I do, and why I got this gig in the first place) will suddenly decide she wants it completely different. Even though she has made no comment at all on the overall plan, the sections sent through to date, my queries as to whether they were entirely happy with my plan for the section where she specifically wanted input, etc etc..

CointreauVersial Thu 04-Jul-13 21:49:09

Stick to your guns, MI. If you don't ask, you won't get (and you can be sure it won't be offered).

Fingers crossed for the uni-bound DDs. That's too far in the distant future for me to worry about.

shock shock about the number of job applicants, Crem. Do you think they've heard about your schmoozing with Barack, and fancy a bit of the same?

Strops, I really feel for you. It must be so draining and worrying. It does sound as though you're taking the right approach, though. Keep Calm and Carry On.

Period still in full swing, and now I'm coming down with a cold. DD1 and I are competing for who sneezes the loudest. Kill me now.

Blackduck Fri 05-Jul-13 05:49:44

I'm worrying about secondary school - university is miles off (deluded)
We have West Fest tomorrow - our answer to Glastonbury. We are singing, ds is singing and acting and we are all on litter pick. I predict sunburn on Sunday and a hangover (my trying not to drink fell spectacularly on its arse last night). At least it won't be a mud fest - roll on 4.00 today when the weekend begins smile smile

beachyhead Fri 05-Jul-13 08:49:22

We had prom last night and I have five, maybe six sleepy teens upstairs smile. They burst home like a herd of baby elephants at 4.45am and I don't expect to see them again till this afternoon.

CV - I really think you should be doctoring for your massive period. You must be exhausted!

I'm so excited about the sun - might lay myself out on the grass and rotate like a chicken on a spit!

wilbur Fri 05-Jul-13 11:12:52

Agree, MI. Charming but firm is the way to go.

Got a picture text from dh last night, the most gorgeous view from his chalet in Annecy where he is the for the next few days in prep for his bike ride on Sunday. envy Still, I am sooo owed now (tbh I am still making him pay for the long weekend clubbing in Ibiza when dd was 6 weeks old) that any pink tickets I require for the next decade will be automatically issued. Poorly ds2 took full advantage of his dad's absence to come into me at midnight and then proceed to thrash about in itchy/sore frustration for a couple of hours, which was fair enough, but has left me a bit all over the place this morning. Hopefully I can get out to do some gardening for an hour or so later - in my bikini top and shorts to maximise wrinkle-giving sun exposure.

And my crepey event of the day is a chiropody appt (mere pedicures don't fix my feet any more sad) for hard skin and corn removal. Sexy.

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 11:28:20

I have backache and neckache and am worried it's All Downhill From Here sad

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 11:54:34

beachy, glad the prom was a success - wilbur and beachy, hope your tanning is too!

Annecy is lovely, isn't it? DH is still paying for the freebie 2 week cricket tour to BARBADOS he went on with his last school while I was stuck at home with a 12mth old DD and pregnant with DS!

Stropperella Fri 05-Jul-13 15:01:15

I had an emergency interpreting job at the hospital this morning. Haven't done any interpreting for years (and avoid it like the plague), so I was rather chuffed that I managed. I actually rather enjoyed what I had to do and would like some more gigs like that, please <makes offering to the God of Freelancers>, but not until after Monday as I am now massively behind with a job that has to be delivered Mon pm.

Have had 2 emails from 2 different teachers this morning about dd's "lack of commitment". And two out of the four teachers I have had dealings with in the last week are former work colleagues of mine. Oh, the shame. I (and dd, little does she know) now have an 8.30am Monday meeting with the dep HoY.

Beachy, you are a verrrrry nice mummy for looking after lots of baby elephants. grin

MI, well done for being firm. Give 'em an inch and they take a few hundred miles.

Best of luck to those dds who are uni-bound. It's all so exciting! Have to say I would love to live in Edinburgh as there is so much going on and it's such a gorgeous place. Only downside is the weather: the wind is horrendous.

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 15:11:35

I have just ordered some vitamin C serum from the French place I linked to upthread...in vain hope it will Transform and Rejuvenate me grin

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 16:03:25

Yes, one of my good friends is from Edinburgh and she would never move back, due to the weather!

Stropps, hope the dep HoY comes up with a good plan. I know what you mean about the shame - as DH and I are both teachers, I always feel it. He, on the other hand, has the hide of a rhinohmm

hattymattie Fri 05-Jul-13 16:05:02

Beachy - 4.45 am! You deserve a medal. I am so cross if I don't get my sleep.

I've come in out of the sun as I've gone red and er wrinkly. I'm on DD1's computer (still no news from Belgian rock festival.)

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 16:08:55

envy at those of you who have been in the sun all day!

DS is back, barely able to speak (could be because DD is sitting on him!) in the same outfit that he left in - we are wondering if he actually took it offgrin

herbaceous Fri 05-Jul-13 16:15:00

Stuck inside, writing about Wakefield, of all things. Though enjoying the Djokovic v Del Potro match on a corner of the screen. Go Del Potro!

Crazy weekend coming up. Rehearsal tonight, friend's fourth birthday party tomorrow afternoon, concert tomorrow evening. Photoshoot Sunday morning, DS's birthday party Sunday afternoon. At some stage during Saturday I need to make the infamous MI cake, sort out the garden, source a 4-shaped helium balloon, buy more food, build an Ikea table and chairs... Thankfully DP is as we speak cleaning the house, so that's one less thing to do.

Cremolafoam Fri 05-Jul-13 16:21:53

O M G I have won the b&q voucher unloved garden compgringrin
A crepey win no less!
Only thing is I now have to do a ta dah! On the front garden

herbaceous Fri 05-Jul-13 16:23:18

Bugger. Just realised I'm going to have to provide simple lunch for about 13 people on Sunday. What can I make that takes no time yet is delicious and suitable for a hot day? Other than just raid Waitrose deli?

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 16:26:54

Roast a couple of chickens in advance?

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 16:30:37

Cremo, congrats grin

I have to spend tomorrow singing, but then plan on not doing very much on Sunday. I rather hope my patchy fake tan has blended in by then grin blush

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 16:41:25

Well done Cremo! Our back yard is looking spectacularly unloved ATM, but we can't get it done till the builders at the back build a fekking wallangry

Herbsgrin at simple lunch! BBQ, run by DH?wink

herbaceous Fri 05-Jul-13 16:53:07

The food is for those coming to the party. I'd timed it for 2 til 4, thinking people would have lunch before they came. But of course the rellies have a 1.5hr drive, so will miss lunch at theirs. Gnnnn. BBQ would be good, but we don't have one.

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:02:37

herbs, my standby summer offering for such occassions is...

boil some waxy potatoes. cool slightly under tap. slice into thick"coins" (this is main ingredient so enough for 13).
make a generous amount of horseradishy vinaigrette (?sp?) with red wine vinegar / olive oil and pour over potatoes while still warmish in huge bowl(s).
pick over some bags of watercress to make decent sized sprigs.
Thinly slice red onion. Capers. Cornichons (optional).
smoked trout or mackerel fillets from supermarket, seperated by hand into bite sized pieces.
Combine all ingredients. You can make it all in advance except perhaps better to add fish and watercress at last minute. Best served room temp.
Serve with green salad, gazpacho perhaps, fruit... sorted.

Happy weekends crepeys!

In s and b news... am contemplating this if it goes into sale... (not to be worn with my flamingo pink trousers). Thoughts?jumper

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 17:02:54

You can get disposable ones in Sainsbo's [wonders why Herbs did not know this]...

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:04:44

Herbs, are you going to Richard Hawley next Sunday at Somerset House? Shall we try and meet for a drink?

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 17:05:14

Actually QQ's suggestion is better - I do a version of that too grin. Like the jumper. Back in the day I would have worn that with the trousers. I would upload a pic if I were sure how...do I just use the browse function? Do I need to convert anything?

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 17:05:37

Ooh, yes, there I am grin [dies a thousand deaths]

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 17:11:17

QQ, I am going to Richard Hawleysmile With DH who hasn't a clue who he is! I am up for meeting for a drink beforehand (though DH may raise his eyebrows at the thought of meeting a MNer!)

Love the jumper - shape and colour. Sadly not the right colour for me!

OMG MI - is that really youshock!

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:11:22

MI that picture is awesome! as long as it wasn't taken last week
Particularly liking the pale and interesting make up and the hair. The jumper is fab. I used to try and fail to knit such creations....
happy days.

herbaceous Fri 05-Jul-13 17:12:58

Mercy me, MI! That's one, ahem, colourful outfit!

And OQ - like your suggestion. Sounds yum. And, more importantly, easy.

MI - I knew about disposable BBQs, silly, but we haven't really got anywhere to put them that wouldn't be a hazard to stampeding four-year-olds. And BBQing's all a bit full on, when also having to referee pass the parcel, sort out aged Ps, and all that shizzle.

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:13:09

Are you politely ignoring my potato salad recipe herb?
Tell dh I am generally harmless... he and my dh can make polite manly small talk!

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:13:35

Are you politely ignoring my potato salad recipe herb?
Tell dh I am generally harmless... he and my dh can make polite manly small talk!

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:14:06

Oops. cancel that first remark. Twice.

herbaceous Fri 05-Jul-13 17:14:53

And didn't know about Husky Hawley next week! Shall investigate possibilities...

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 17:18:47

Potato salad recipe sounds lush!

OK - where do you fancy for a drink? (I should just warn you that DH is a real pint in an old man's pub type drinker most of the time, but I'm sure I can drag him into somewhere more upmarketgrin) And Herbs, get investigating!

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:22:09
QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 17:23:33

Will have a think BTM...
Oh do come Herbs if you can.

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 17:39:56

I was 20. Possibly 21 My hair, you will not be surprised to know, I cut myself. I am in fact wearing no makeup apart from masses of black kohl - it was the pallor of someone who didn't get out much.

Cremolafoam Fri 05-Jul-13 17:46:14

Herbs whoever said roast a couple of chooks : good idea
Do that and transform into coronation chicken or alternatively do a whole load of chicken legs roasted off in a nice glaze.
I usually do salads thus:
1 green
1, mayonnaise based( QQ lovely recipe natch)
1 tomato ( maybe sliced with pesto dressing and moz)
1 grain ( lentil or rice or couscous)
Crusty bread or garlic bread for soakage
A veg quiche for veggy types or the old piedmont peppers recipe.

MaybeBentley Fri 05-Jul-13 17:47:56

IT IS SO HOT! I was so glad to get home and take my clothes off wink. How do you look smart and professional at work and still cool. Linen never quite works for me.
I bought me No7 facial brush (poor-girl's Clarisonic) yesterday and tried it in the shower this morning. Seems quite nice and maybe it was the shortening eyesight, but the blackheads did look a little better. Saw they had a glycolic peel set. Has anyone tried it?

Cremolafoam Fri 05-Jul-13 18:14:58

Mi I had to rush in and log on to desktop machine just to see that pic. wowsers! lThat is a scream.
Gonna dig one out at similar age if I can work out how to do the upload thingy

Cremolafoam Fri 05-Jul-13 18:25:07

Portait with Watermelons

bigTillyMint Fri 05-Jul-13 18:34:30

Actually, MI, I had a not dissimilar haircut - done by my best mate - in my first year at uniblush

I am not uploading any embarrassing photo's of me - I would be instantly recognisable!

Am loving the salad suggestions - we have friends from down-under staying over for a couple of nights next week....

beachyhead Fri 05-Jul-13 21:00:33

There is a good salad thread running here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/food_and_recipes/1795606-fab-salad-recipe-needed-for-BBQ

We have the party tomorrow with the 'people I've invited but I don't really know' couple... Like a blind date blush

QueenQueenie Fri 05-Jul-13 21:16:59

And what will you be feeding your new friends Beachy?!

CointreauVersial Fri 05-Jul-13 22:35:47

<scans Inbox for message to say I've also won the B&Q garden voucher>

<finds only a school newsletter and a Chums promo>

<glares enviously at Crem envy >

Herbs, your weekend sounds quite exhausting. We have a BBQ, but we're not hosting. I'm going to make another of those yummy choc raspberry cakes, but this time I'm going to a) chuck in some fresh raspberries for extra squish factor, and b) not burn it.

I will be doing very little tomorrow, although we have some cinema vouchers to use up, so we're off to see Despicable Me 2 (I just adored the first one).

I can't see the picture of MI on this tablet, so I'm saving that particular pleasure for next time I put the PC on. grin

Stropperella Fri 05-Jul-13 22:49:09

Luffly melons, Crem grin

Cremolafoam Fri 05-Jul-13 23:27:42

Snurkgrin
I think it's Kefalonia and if it is then its around my 18th birthday( spent drinking ouzo on a beach under shooting stars)
Poignant only because dd is 18 on Tuesday <<< sigh /wipes away tear>>

alto1 Sat 06-Jul-13 00:44:31

Wot you singing MI?

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 06:55:02

MI could I trouble you again for the choc rasp cake recipe or link thereto?
I'd really appreciate itthanks

Have been goaded into coffee and cake pre-party Party for relatives on dds birthday. This, before teenagers arrive for Actual Party at 4pmshock

Blackduck Sat 06-Jul-13 06:55:51

Wow, just Wow at that pic MI.

I shall mostly be here this weekend (and performing on that stage in the background)

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 07:42:11

cake recipe! I shall be making it again for our visitors next week. Topping was 100g chocolate, 25g butter and a spoonful of syrup melted together, IIRC!

Is that you BD? Looks more recent than 80's?

Hopefully a quiet weekend here - fingers crossed that DS is as quiet as he was last night! DD has her two oldest BFF's sleeping over tonight - love seeing them all togethersmile

Blackduck Sat 06-Jul-13 07:50:33

BTM - no that was taken last night - that's the field I will be in today... The short haired lady is at least 10 years younger than me and less grey smile

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 07:59:18

Btm thankyou so much. Looks tremendous .grinthanks

So annoying you can't see photos on mobile. Grrr

rubyrubyruby Sat 06-Jul-13 08:06:58

Raspberry jam? Really?

Do you not bung in raspberries too?

motherinferior Sat 06-Jul-13 08:44:32

Nope, honestly you don't. You could bung some onto the top, of course, but that particular recipe is a Storecupboard Cake (a term which always annoys me because what's in your storecupboard is probably quite different from what's in mine...)

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 09:14:50

Ruby, it's quite a dense, luscious cake.... Raspberries on the top would look lovely thoughsmile

BD, have fun!

Might have to get my shorts on and get into the garden.

rubyrubyruby Sat 06-Jul-13 09:26:55

Thanks - I will give it a go and raspberries are my favourite fruit. I should make it this weekend really as we are celebrating 3 birthdays!

rubyrubyruby Sat 06-Jul-13 09:28:22

And yes MI - you a right about store cupboard.
I always have raspberries in my freezer!

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 10:38:23

ruby, it's dead easy - won't take a minute or two to mix!

herbaceous Sat 06-Jul-13 10:45:34

It is indeed super simple. Just taken mine out of the oven, and it smells GORGE. Though its not very big!

beachyhead Sat 06-Jul-13 11:15:41

So I'm making a massive quantity of salads this morning; new potato salad with chives and spring onion, cous cous with roasted red peppers, broad beans with mint and feta cheese and tomato, mozzarella and basil. Everyone is bringing meat and I have the rolls. Well, mr tesco has the rolls to be strictly accurate!

I need to make pavlova and I have ice cream in the freezer...

I might have a look at that cake recipe too. Like a mass simultaneous crepey bake off!

I love that picture MI. Amazing!! Those were the days! And melons, Crem. I have numerous pictures like that, had we never seen fruit before?

I saw Morris Men this morning. They make me strangely happy!

motherinferior Sat 06-Jul-13 11:38:16

Off to sing <eek> also am I too short to indulge my strange yearning for a maxi dress?

motherinferior Sat 06-Jul-13 12:31:17

Alto - Israel in Egypt. I have a solo. About frogs..

herbaceous Sat 06-Jul-13 12:57:37

Ooh MI - is that the Handel one that goes on about horses quite a lot? If so, it was the first thing I sung in choir. And wasn't put off...

Cake made, jellies made, fridge full of expensive Waitrose deli meat, potato salad ingredients at the ready. About to buy 4-shaped helium balloon, then go to party at soft play (mm just the weather), come back, change into v hot polyester concert garb, and go off to sing in the drama theatre of the local private school.

Tell you what, it gives me terrible SchoolCrush. Lots of ivy-clad Georgian buildings, its own dedicated drama studio, modern architectural glass box next to the cricket pitch, blah blah.

CointreauVersial Sat 06-Jul-13 13:06:44

I'm going to be a rebel and chuck some raspberries into my cake mixture. I did this once with chocolate brownies, and the results were rather marvellous. The cake is a similarly dense texture so I'm hoping it won't be a soggy mess.

We've just enjoyed a nice al fresco lunch, but the ambience in the back garden is ruined somewhat by a huge pile of scrap wood and guttering on the patio, scaffolding boards stacked on the (un-mowed) lawn, and a wasps nest just under the wood cladding on the back wall of the house.

Great photo, Crem, but I can't see yours, MI.

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 13:35:17

CV, update us on the effect!
MI ought to get royalties for bringing the recipe to our attention!

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 16:12:39

I might also risk a raspberry in the mixgrin

alto1 Sat 06-Jul-13 17:42:33

MI I love Israel in Egypt. When I sang it last summer I found it an excellent vehicle for all my impotent rage. Lots of smiting and the horse and his rider being thrown into the sea.

I've been singing Whitacre Gesualdo ans Frank Martin all day and I'm whacked grin

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Jul-13 18:38:25

I have just got back from Brussels (work) where I tagged on a Friday night to go out with some friends. Had a slight falling out with the friend I was staying with, who was invited out as well, but won't leave her child with a babysitter. She was going to bring him, but had a hissy fit when I said where we were meeting up as she "can't take the buggy there as it is cobbled." I said I would text her if we moved on, but she said "Don't bother; I won't want to come out if it gets any later." She then texted me around 8, asking where I was and what time I was coming home, as she goes to bed at 9.30. I said I was going to grab something to eat with friends and would be back around 11.00, but if that was difficult, I would try and make it back for 10.00. She said "Don't bother; I'll wait up, but you might have told me you were eating out." confused She then called and texted me non-stop after 10.00 asking when I would be back, cumulating in "I am locking the door in 5 minutes" - fortunately received when I was right outside her building. (She wouldn't let me have a key.)

She was arsey with me when I got in, had a rant about how difficult life is for her as a single parent, and how important sleep is, and how she thought I might have cooked something (I always end up cooking dinner, and usually stuff for her freezer as well, when I stay). I made her a cake this morning (at her request), cleaned the kitchen, and picked up all the dirty nappies, wet wipes and tissues from around the place, tidied the toys, and generally made the flat look less of a tip. I suggested we go out with her baby for lunch, on me, and she said "Oh I've got plans for the rest of the day, you'll have to leave now." So, having previously agreed to do this, she reneged on me, and kicked me out of the flat at 11.00, when my train was at 4.15.

I am seriously pissed off with her. I am not remotely tidy or houseproud (MI can vouch for this) but I think it is going too far to have dirty nappies slung casually around the flat - there was one in the washbasin of the guest bedroom and a sticking shit covered muslin on the floor when I arrived, no clean bedding... But on the other hand, I think she needs some help. She has always been a bit of a filth packet, but it has gone to new limits since she had the baby. I don't think she is depressed, just extremely messy. Our mutual neat freak friend is going to stay with her in a few weeks, and if the flat is in the same state, I know she will take one look and walk out of the door. Quoi faire?

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Jul-13 18:39:28

stinking not sticking!

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 18:57:37

Oh blimey mrs S what a cauchemar
shock
How utterly rude! Don't know how you resolve that. She sounds jealous or envious of you maybe?
Is her child v small? Is there other stuff going on?
Why would she say it was ok for people to stay if it clearly doesn't suit.
She actually sounds like my sister when she goes off on one of her rants. There's no reason to it except that I am in the way and she wants to vanish me. Quite often this passes off quietly and all goes back to normal after a couple of weeks- like it never happened shock pisses me off though
I'd warn your mrs tidy friend so she can make other plansconfused

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 20:02:10

MrsS, it could only happen to you!shock What a dreadful experience - must have been really awful for you.

It sounds like she is unhappy and struggling, though if she has always been like this, it is obviously something in her personal make-up which perhaps she needs professional help with? It's not just the untidiness/dirtiness, it's the trying to control you as the visitor - no key, kicking you out, making you cook/ tidy, etc.
Is she single because of a failed relationship or did she plan to have a baby on her own?

I would warn the mutual friend - it sounds like it would be too much for the "hostess" anyway ATM.

Blackduck Sat 06-Jul-13 20:06:07

I have a burnt neck, and a burnt foot and haven't eaten since this morning. I am now mainlining juice in the hope I won't get sunstroke and be sick as a dog tomorrow.

It was a glorious day grin

Blackduck Sat 06-Jul-13 20:06:38

Ohh and apparently our singing wasn't bad either smile

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Jul-13 20:43:31

She is in a horrible and complicated situation. She had been with the baby's father for 10 years - he refused to get married, said he didn't want commitment, didn't want kids. She has always wanted kids and accidentally got pregnant. I have no idea how much of an accident it was. He went on holiday for a few weeks to his home country, met a local girl, she got pregnant and family insisted he take his responsibilities. So he has two children three months apart. He lives with the other girl and his other child (who is the younger of the two). My friend only found this out fairly recently, and has said it is over between them, although she wants him to co-parent - which he does, although it is very much on his terms (his live-in girlfriends doesn't know about my friend and her baby), he turns up when it suits him and contributes nothing financially. For reasons best known to herself, my friend always defends him "it's difficult for him to get away and see DS1" and "he doesn't earn very much, so of course he doesn't contribute financially."

I have been to stay three times since she had the baby, and I have to say that this time she seemed to be even worse on the cleanliness front (and don't get me started on the fridge, which I also cleared out, and gave her a lecture blush on food hygiene and not putting raw chicken pieces on top of a cooked one). I think I am going to have to say something to mutual friend - she will expect our friend to go out to dinner or for a drink with her, and won't be overly impressed if the baby comes too, and will absolutely hit the roof if there are shitty cloths and dirty nappies around the place. I did wonder if Mrs Tidy and I should go and visit at the same time - we could give the place a good clean, and one of us could babysit for a few hours while she goes out for a drink with the other.

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 21:06:27

Oh dear, what a mess. The relationship, I mean.

That is a very kind thought - to go with MrsTidy and clean/babysit, etc. Would MrsTidy be up for it?

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 21:22:44

Oh sorry mrs s my post sounded a bit harsh given her situation . Sounds like she's coping with a lot with nowhere to let off steam( if she's alone with the baby a great deal)
Not a bit if wonder she's stressed to the eyeballs and needs help.
Will she be able to accept it though ?
I think considering what's happened your offer of help is very thoughtful.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Jul-13 21:24:40

Yes, I am sure she would. Mucky Friend might not like us turning up like the Put Em Rights (anyone else remember this nauseating Enid Blyton book?) though, and I can see her refusing to leave her baby with one of us and go out, so it may just be Tidy Friend and me (and her capacity for alcohol is enormous...) which may cause more resentment for Mucky Friend if we turn up pissed in the small hours.

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 22:10:35

Oh merde mrs s. has she got any other strands of help en place as it were?
I mean you can't be running up to Bruxelles every weekend. I'd be a teeny bit anxious about the baby thoughsad

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Jul-13 22:21:48

The baby is fine, Crem, as long as he doesn't get food poisoning. I think she needs to get her ex to help more - to tell his new partner about the baby, and to spend more regular time there. I suggested she ask him to babysit, so that she can go out with friends, and she bit my head off. But most of all, she needs to get a grip on the flat, and to start by putting nappies in bags in bins and throwing away the used wipes and tissues, rather than leaving them all over the floor and sofas. And to put dirty plates into the dishwasher rather than leave them strewn round the kitchen, and to wipe the table and work surfaces as she goes along. The kitchen just looked so much better and more welcoming once I had done this, and it only took a few minutes. And it must be quite depressing to come home to all this, although, to be frank, she doesn't seem to notice the mess.

bigTillyMint Sat 06-Jul-13 22:38:46

Hmmm, helping would be wonderful, but only if she is willing to accept it (and you don't end up carousing till dawn while she locks you out!)

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 23:01:07

Yes mrs s just what did you get up to for 5 whole hours wandering the streets of the Belgian capital. ?grin

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Jul-13 23:15:41

Well, Crem, drinking, obviously. grin And eating, with my other Brux friends, that I wanted to introduce her to. Was a little bit pissed when I got in, have to admit.

They have this wonderful chain of shops in Brussels called Dod, which sells last season's designer stuff, and the children's one goes up to age 16. I bought DD2 a fabulous hoodie in there for 20 euros, which has "Back to the Friture" on it. I have just googled it and the full price on the website is 119 euros. shock grin It was a pity she wasn't with me as they had loads of stuff she would have liked - Moschino trainers for 20 euros, jeans, T shirts etc etc. Maybe we'll have a little trip this summer...

Cremolafoam Sat 06-Jul-13 23:39:22

Lol back to the frituregrin
How marvellously Belgiangrin
Makes me think of Emma Beddingtons blog Belgian Waffle do you know it?
Which is yet another way I squander my time.blush

rubyrubyruby Sun 07-Jul-13 07:25:19

MrsS - what an awful situation sad and so difficult for you being a distance away and time short. Hopefully, a plan can be sorted.

The great crepey bake off ha!
...... bet I'm the only one who burnt mine hmm <<blames the oven>>

motherinferior Sun 07-Jul-13 10:20:18

Hello allgrin I sang quite well and am now lazing around doing bog-all. I will go into the garden latergrin

MrsS I am trying to think of constructive suggestions wrt your friend...

...and am feeling faintly guilty if anyone's cake has gone wrong grin

rubyrubyruby Sun 07-Jul-13 10:46:20

T'is ok MI grin

I trimmed the burnt bits top off, sprinkled with icing sugar and piled some raspberries in the sunken bit on the top.

MaybeBentley Sun 07-Jul-13 10:51:04

Morning Crepies! Family away for the day so whole day to myself ... the question is catch up with work that's stressing me out or lounge in the garden until Wimbledon on TV? Hmm! Think I'll fast today ... saved the hassle of cooking in this heat.
Have a great day, ladies, what ever you are doing.

Blackduck Sun 07-Jul-13 11:54:18

Just back from clearing up the field after the festival - nothing like the smell of stale beer and rank food on a hot day <boak> (glad I wasn't hungover - just tired)
However, it didn't take too long and the marquee guys are finishing off.....
I appear to have signed myself up for the Committee for next year.
I will mostly not be cooking today (or this week - want to lose weight as hate my body at the moment, so please stop all talk of cake, burnt, sunken or otherwise smile )

CointreauVersial Sun 07-Jul-13 14:38:47

Well done, BD. Better to be clearing up in the sunshine than in torrential rain and mud. <shudders at memory of recent football tournaments>

I'm taking a brief break indoors - we are off to a BBQ shortly, so I have plenty more outdoor toasting time to look forward to.

Cake is currently in the oven. Ruby, I also burnt the first one, so this one has been wearing a foil hat for the last 20 minutes. Still squishy in the middle, though (as am I....grin ).

Cremolafoam Sun 07-Jul-13 15:20:56

Well done bd

Oh dear I'm loaded with a wretched cold ,scratchy throat ,mild groaning.
It is a million degrees in the shade here and I am curled up in a dressing gown with a box of mansize Kleenex .
Boo
Dh is doing something to our tent- confuseddds birthday celebrations have allegedly now moved into the tent plus summerhouse pending heatwave.

Wipes nosesad

bigTillyMint Sun 07-Jul-13 15:53:49

Commiserations, Cremo! But the birthday tent sounds good - the party that DS went to in a tent involved no sleep, so we had a very quiet day the day after!

DD and DS went out separately with friends earlier, so DH and I went off for a cycle ride and people-watching in my fav local park. Felt strangely nostalgic for days gone by when the DC were small and wanted to spend time with usconfused

Stropperella Sun 07-Jul-13 16:39:04

Phew, wot a scorcher etc etc. I have absorbed an unholy amount of prosecco today, whilst bbq-ing Aussie-style in my bikini and hat with corks. OK, no corks, but the rest is true. smile .
Dog is mucho disgruntled that our family has been augmented by Esmeralda, Marianne, Griselda and, er, Snowdrop. Cluck, cluck, cluck. Chickens looove chilled watermelon in hot weather, apparently. Not that I am going to become a Crepey fowl bore, or anything. [Grin]
Sorry to hear your Brussels break was a bit spoilt, MrsS.
Well done singers. <totters off in direction of prosecco; it's going to be a hard week..>

Stropperella Sun 07-Jul-13 16:41:48

Gah, I canna do MN emoticons on me flash new smartphone, as it keeps foisting upper case on me.

bigTillyMint Sun 07-Jul-13 16:59:56

Stropps, sounds like you're having a great daysmile

Apparently DS is at the Lido with 3 Y7's (like him) and 2 Y8's. All girlshmm What is it about my DC and the opposite sex? At least DD is back home, safe and sound - sunbathing in the back "garden"!

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 07-Jul-13 18:13:24

I have been to a free concert at the Musee du Quai Branly and finished it off with a champagne mojito on the way home. It went down very nicely.

I have Chicken Envy. I have always wanted chooks.

motherinferior Sun 07-Jul-13 18:52:25

I am in the garden with a gin and tonic and the catgrin

herbaceous Sun 07-Jul-13 19:41:02

Party now all over. DS spent a sizable part of it in his bedroom, and another sizable part bossing his friends and cousins around. He insisted on leading pass the parcel and musical bumps, rather than taking part, but seemed to enjoy it.

The MI cake was FARKING LUSH, and generally agreed as a culinary triumph.

DS's presents included a drum kit, trumpet and guitar, all of which he played during the last few vital games of the Murray match, which did rather diffuse the tension.

All clearing up just about done, thanks to DP, and lots of cake and expensive charcuterie to get through.

All in all, 9/10.

motherinferior Sun 07-Jul-13 19:49:14

Phew re cakegrin

Cremolafoam Sun 07-Jul-13 20:42:38

wink Wonders if Nigella will be making her own cake to celebrate her divorce from Throttler Saatchi
Ahem
As you were

Blackduck Sun 07-Jul-13 20:45:41

But he's disappointed she didn't stand by him... <rolls eyes>

I shall start diet tomorrow - wine and tapas here smile. (I wish I could take the week off)

bigTillyMint Sun 07-Jul-13 21:17:40

Cremogrin

No wish to own any chooks - I have something of phobia of birds.

My diet always starts tomorrow too, BD!

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 07-Jul-13 21:20:01

Peeps, I am thinking ahead here to next summer. DD1's school breaks up in early June, and DD2's in mid July. What can DD1 do for that 6 week period? She will be 15. I was thinking of asking if she could do some voluntary work at Vauxhall City Farm. Any other cheap ideas?

bigTillyMint Sun 07-Jul-13 21:28:00

No, but I am watching for ideas too as DD will be 15 next summer holsshock
However, I doubt DD would want to volunteer at the farm!

Cremolafoam Sun 07-Jul-13 21:41:23
Cremolafoam Sun 07-Jul-13 21:51:52
CointreauVersial Sun 07-Jul-13 22:34:07

What a gorgeous day. BBQ with old and very lovely friends, plus the family we are going on holiday with in August, so the DCs were in social heaven. My raspberry-augmented MI cake also went down a storm. I'm nursing a serious case of house-envy; our friends bought a run-down pile, (Victorian, with shocking 80s additions), and have spent the last three years working absolute magic on it. The most recent addition is a garden shed the size of a small house, with a home office, giant sofa/TV, snooker table, bathroom etc. Even the garden is fabulous, with a manicured lawn and raised beds bursting with vegetables. envy envy

My cold has subsided; sorry to hear it has come your way, Crem.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 07-Jul-13 22:50:11

OOOH I love the idea of Ocean Youth. We have some good friends in Scotland and DD1 has cousins in Shetland - she could spend some time with them as well.

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 09:57:00

I am cross and having a bad day angry. Also I am fasting and in a vortex of self-hatred.

All this may not be unconnected to seeing my mother on Friday.

Blackduck Mon 08-Jul-13 10:43:44

Can I join you MI? I positively hate my body at the moment, fasting here too, and I think the vino will need to be kicked into touch too....

Was seeing your mother really ghastly?

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 10:54:54

No, just makes me feel inadequate. And unsuccessful. And fat. Not, any more, deliberately, but you can't eradicate a good decade of making someone feel fat - quite explicitly - from the age of nine onwards.

Blackduck Mon 08-Jul-13 13:34:12

You are none of those things. But, yes, I get that the messages are hard to eradicate.

I want to feel differently about things and that is proving to be very hard.

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 14:09:44

Anything we can help with, BD?

I have lunched frugally but rather deliciously on marinaded prawns, beansprouts and cucumber. And strawberries. And bought myself a couple of pairs of silver shoes/sandals in the Mini Boden sale [blush= to adorn my mutant feet in the sunshine grin

addle Mon 08-Jul-13 14:25:41

can I join in? fretting that no one wants editors any more but unable to work up energy to blog and tweet, plus hating changes in body plus generally feeling low (and old). otoh my mutant feet got me v cheap sandals in D. Trader sale so not all bad. gazes at feet

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 14:31:44

Addle, I tweet at most once a day. Can't say it's pulled me in any work so far...what sort of editing do you do?

bigTillyMint Mon 08-Jul-13 14:32:10

addle, I didn't make it to the D.Trader sales this time as I was so dispondent about the weather, plus I have so many summer clothes that never wear out... Bet they are nice!

MI, looked at Boden sale, but was too slow to bag the only thing I fancied - will keep an eye for it coming back, but I really can't say I need any more summer dresses!

Sorry people are feeling down about bodies/age/jobs, etc.
They are the least of my worries ATM - teenage DC are giving me more than enough to keep me awake at night.

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 14:40:42

Oh no - what's going on?

bigTillyMint Mon 08-Jul-13 14:48:04

DS - just seems to be growing up too fast. He's too big for his boots in all senses and I'm worried that he'll be trying to do stuff that he shouldn'thmm

DD is going through a very tricky stage which is so totally out of character. Feel like I'm tiptoeing round eggshells all the time.

I feel totally out of my depth with teens.

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 14:52:41

Oh sad. (Don't forget that you deal, professionally, with kids at the really difficult end of the spectrum and that may be making you feel even gloomier!)

That is difficult, wrt DS. I sympathise - I was abroad back in India during the equivalent of Y9 and all the boys shot up and turned into blokes (it was quite an excitement to return to wink) but that is a long way off at the moment. Even next year, though, shouldn't some of his mates be catching up?

wilbur Mon 08-Jul-13 15:01:17

Hola crepeys. I'm staring at the sunshine outside trying to work out how to explain to someone in Serbia that they need to have the proper rights to a play before they make their own translation and then perform it whenever they please. I just want to be sunbathing.

Sorry you are feeling mis, MI, BD and addle. None of the self-loathing is deserved btw, but I do know how you feel. Fasting on a day when you are feeling a bit wobbly of heart is a path to disaster, I have found. I have been reading a very good and informative book about depression, but the remedy recommended (which I am sure works) is rest, time off from responsibilities, and then a combination of drugs plus therapy. Sigh. He may as well recommend a trip to Mars. And to be fair, I am not particularly depressed these days (have been in the past) but would love to get a grip on those days when I just feel overwhelmed and grrr about everything. It's not fair on my kids to have me be Mrs critical and annoyed so much of the time.

We did have a nice time yesterday - went to theatre and then home in time to watch 3rd amazing set of tennis, plus dh completed his Etape du Tour successfully which was wonderful news. He said he had a bit of an emotional moment at the top when he was done, so it's not just women who have these crises of life - there are big strong men weeping at the top of Alps, too. And he posted a rather nice pic of himself on FB in skinny black cycling gear looking really quite fanciable. grin

Stopps - I am concerned that Griselda and Esmerelda will not learn their names very easily as I can't imagine that chickens pay much attention to subtle differences and will both just answer to ...elda. Still, fabulous names. <goes off to name fantasy chickens>

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 15:21:58

I have enough calories for a consoling fishcake later grin

herbaceous Mon 08-Jul-13 16:20:37

I wasn't going to fast today, even though I should, as was going to toy library party this evening. DP has now informed me he'll be going out, once I'd eaten large breakfast, big leftovers-based lunch, and some cake. So I could have fasted anyway. Boo Hiss.

bigTillyMint Mon 08-Jul-13 16:49:01

I think you are right, MIblush

I would like time off from my parenting responsibilities, but that ain't going to happen. Maybe wine would help though?!

Well done to your DH, Wilbursmile

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 16:55:02

Sorry lots of you are feeling poopy today. I know that feeling so well and sympathise enormously. May the sun melt your fears and embalm your souls hags.

MI the cake is in the oven. I have made double quantities as my springform tin is q big and there will be at least 20-30 people tomorrow.
I have diverted from the recipe ( typical of me) and used cherry bonne maman instead of raspberry. The choc cherry Black Forest vibe scent is divine . As its huge it may take some time longer than 45-50 mins dontcha think.??

wilbur Mon 08-Jul-13 17:30:10

Crem - I would turn down the oven a bit if you are cooking for longer as all the sugar from the jam makes it prone to burning.

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 17:33:27

Nigella does in fact do a cherry version grin. I quite fancy doing one of those too soon.

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 18:02:53

well its out, and thanks wilbur _ i did turn the oven down as you suggested as I was worried about all that sugar. it took approx 60 mins the second half i moved it to the bottom of the oven and covered with foil as i could see it was starting to caramelize. looks good though and smells of cherry coke hmm
Going to top it with fresh cherries and dust tomorrow. Artisically
MI i have probably seen that cherry version somewhere- I do know Nigella has a cherry obsession- see her black forest buns ( with undyed glace cherries within)which are un bel iev able.

bigTillyMint Mon 08-Jul-13 18:26:47

Crem, it sounds lush!

Isn't the cherry version the cupcakes one? I'm sure a friend mentioned them, or maybe that's the black forest ones?

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 18:44:40

Yep, that's the one. It is an infinitely adaptable basic theme.

I am crazed with hunger grin

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 19:18:26

OFGS its the same ruddy recipe grin
just recristen it Crepey Cakes. DUH
www.nigella.com/recipes/view/chocolate-cherry-cupcakes-144

goes to lie down with heat stroke

motherinferior Mon 08-Jul-13 19:42:15

Errr yes and if you do it with marmalade it is a choc orange cakegrin

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 19:50:37

<< thud>>blush

Pass the crepey revival juicewine

herbaceous Mon 08-Jul-13 20:19:06

Commiserations to all crepeys feeling fragile. It's the heat. I've been extremely short with my darling boy today, and felt super guilty, as it's his birthday. It may be connected with having seemingly been on the go for a week, rueing the passing of the years, and having to assemble an infernal Hot Wheels track in a stifling bedroom.

DS had a mini-party at his nursery today. Very mini, as it seems it was cut short to take the guinea pigs to the vet. They'd left them outside for too long in their hutch, and it seems they were dying of heatstroke. Doesn't fill one with confidence!

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 20:29:20

Herbs when my dsis was a nursery SN assistant she had a story every week about the guinea pigs.
Once they got heatstroke too and the local gp was collecting his dc and had to do CPR shock
Didn't end wellsad

I think there's a funny moon today - probably driving us all a bit lunar .

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 08-Jul-13 21:07:38

Crepey cupcakes: with a slightly wrinkly top (or icing) and the cherry near the bottom of the cake, not in the middle. grin

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 21:22:51

Fnar
Saggy cherries

CointreauVersial Mon 08-Jul-13 22:41:38

Felt very crappy today, with the remnants of my cold and STILL a huge amount of flooding. Day 25. I was in and out of the loo all day at work, and counting the minutes until I could leave. It has now reached the point where I am concerned it isn't a period at all, but something more sinister (but WTF?). I am seeing the doc on Wednesday, and will demand something, anything (heck, I'd even consider an on-the-spot hysterectomy) to make it bastard well STOP.angry

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 08-Jul-13 22:43:41

Can you speak to the pharmacist, CV and get some tranexamic acid to slow down the flow?

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 08-Jul-13 22:44:06

I have the, err, opposite problem...

Cremolafoam Mon 08-Jul-13 23:17:14

Oh cv that's worrying . Just wondering is it fibroid related. You must be wrung out. Can you consult gp by phone at your practice? I'd try doing that tomorrow and at least find out if he can put your mind at rest.
You poor thing.

Stropperella Tue 09-Jul-13 04:36:59

Oh CV, make them sort it! Your vitality levels must be in your boots, you poor thing.

Guess, I'm going to have to jump on the bandwagon and make That Cake. Although anything with jam or fruit in is usually met with a flat refusal round here.

Have been up since 2am worrying about my DD. Had a meeting (together with her) at school today, but, as usual, she says one thing whilst there (or to be accurate - mutely agrees with all sensible suggestions put to her in the meeting) and then something completely different at home. The meeting therefore got us nowhere and may even have made things worse.
It is incredibly depressing to realise that you have probably passed on a gene/talent for self-sabotage.

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 06:55:49

CV, that sounds dreadful - I can't believe it's been going for 25 daysshock Sounds like you need to stage a sit-in at the GP's to get seen this morning.

Stropps {{{big hugs}}} There is no knowing where teens get their "troubles" from... I definitely don't think it's a simple question of genes. And judging by the news, it's nearly all of them at one time or another. I even got an email from an educational training set-up yesterday doing a conference on teen mental health - self-harm, anxiety, body-image, depression. It's soooo common nowsad
I am hoping the summer hols will help, but I am probably sadly deluded.

rubyrubyruby Tue 09-Jul-13 08:15:30

Oh CV! that's not something you need to put up with. It needs sorting.

Strops sad I'm so sorry to hear about your DD. I'm also not sure how much genes play a part in all this but you are obviously very supportive and your own feelings and experiences will help you to understand hers.

I'm 50 now.

Blackduck Tue 09-Jul-13 08:45:57

CV - get thee to the GP - my longest was 21 days and was ghastly (without even thinking about the cost of sanitary products), so god knows how you feel.

Stropps - sorry to hear it's still not good, you are trying to be supportive and there for her, like Ruby I am not sure how far it is gene related.

Ruby - I am not far behind you!!

Right - re crappy body feeling - back on 5:2, cutting out white carbs and the vino will have to go too weeps

Re the rest unless someone can take me back 20 years so I can make the right decision I'm kinda stuck with the not feeling great. My lack of self worth has a lot toanswer for, and I have not fulfilled my potential. Now I feel I am too old and get all crabby when I look at people around me and realise I am as a good, if not better, than them....gahhh....

It is something I am determined will not happen to ds.....

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 08:53:33

Ruby, congratulations! What did you do to celebrate?

I feel so lucky to have a job I enjoy (and means I can forget everything else whilst I'm at work, even though it is exhausting at times!) I hope my DC are able to find something that is as fulfilling.

Blackduck Tue 09-Jul-13 08:58:05

There's a lot to be said for that BTM - eyes dp who has BDs career.....

herbaceous Tue 09-Jul-13 09:03:32

Ooh BD - I know just what you mean. I'm a chronic under-achiever, and it leaves me bitter and twisted about having to work for utter fuckwits. It's one reason I want a change of career - at least by starting at the bottom there'll be a reason for being junior at pushing 50.

It's my turn to feel out of sorts. I had total chin-wobbly cry at DP because he told me off for getting the wrong duvet out of the loft. I can't explain to him, but if I say anything to him that he takes as critical (even something totally minor) he goes off into a sulk, whereas he's pretty vocal in telling me my shortcomings, along with eye-rolling and tutting if I don't hear him say something.

But of course last night I couldn't think of any examples.

Put like that he sounds a total abusive shit, but it's not really like that. A mild version, I guess.

Not helped by feeling totally over-emotional about DS's birthday, school, end of childhood, WTF do I do now, etc etc...

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 09:04:39

Stropps - very sorry you are losing sleep over dd. I do think its not just genes. We went through hell in this house with dd. I don't want to go into it on detail on here for obvious reasons. Suffice to say there were elements of running away/ wanting to be dead/ self harm / police involvement due to a 'relationship' with a man who turned out to be on the register.
I spent months blaming myself for being a crap parent / blaming her background ( loss of parents at a young age) bad influence friends/ genes/ etc
A counsellor finally said to me that it was now very common it was like a fashion. That a great deal of what they pick up is online and what has become almost acceptable ( suicide / self harmsad) is based on having so much information available to them yet NO life experience or way of processing it.
We started by completely closing down all boundaries . Computer was limited and she had to ask to use it. Mobile phone removed. Dropped to school and collected from school( no messing about on bus)
Tough love in other words. It was really hard and intensive, but after 6 months we had her back and she had grown up a bit .

I've never been so lonely or sad while all this was going on and I feel for you strops I really dosad
Pm me if you need to vent.

motherinferior Tue 09-Jul-13 09:12:45

Happy birthday dear Rooo-beeeee
Happy birthday to you!

Stropps, it isn't you.

Herbs, shall I come round and biff DP? My DP can be similar. And look, there are many lovely years ahead of you - honestly, primary school is lovely - before you have Great Big Stompy Creatures like the rest of us grin I want to pick up the reception children (the non-soggy ones) and just cuddle them but would get arrested

I am determinedly having a Much Nicer Day as (a) am not fasting (b) have been swimming (c) have daringly put on a shortish denim skirt (when I say shortish I mean just above the knee, which Mr Inferior says isn't nearly as short as it should be grin).

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 09:32:29

Herbs, it is NOT the end of your DS's childhood, just a new chapter! Embrace it, because before you knowit, he will be a teensad

And my DH sometimes speaks in an extremely patronising way to meangry Plus he has the hide of a rhino and cannot understand how others (mainly me and DD are so sensitive) at all. Plus he just wants to give a quick solution and box things off, whereas I need to talk and talk and talk....

Cremo, how interesting that you say the counsellor said self-harm is now something of a fashion. I was wondering if this was the case myself.

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 09:34:18

Happy birthday Rubesgrinthanks

( tis dds 18th today too)

Blackduck Tue 09-Jul-13 09:58:11

Happy Birthday Cremo's DDS smile

Oh, yes, Mr BD has been known to be a tad patronising and cutting. He also works on the principle that if we don't talk about things it will go away. This has not been a helpful strategy in the past.

I have decided to take Friday off and have a day to myself (suspects it might mostly involve fighting with the garden and doing laundry but hey ho.....)

addle Tue 09-Jul-13 09:58:13

sympathies to everyone and congratulations to ruby and crem's dd

just to add that though nothing like crem, i've had a horrible few years with my lovely DD which has aged me no end, accompanied by a similar DH to those mentioned above, and not-so-well parent and to cap it all am over 50 underachiever and can't have HRT due to breast cancer worries which means I'm ageing twice as fast as anyone around me (and yes, of course I do know that that is a stupid attitude, it just sometimes comes over me when I look at my upper arms)

(MI - I do editing of reports, guides, etc for educational research agencies and charities - most of my clients were closed down by the coalition govt)

BTM - what do you do? i know you are a teacher?

addle Tue 09-Jul-13 10:07:01

sorry everyone - incredibly self-indulgent splurge there - ignore except for the sympathies and congratulations x

motherinferior Tue 09-Jul-13 10:07:34

(Ah, Addle, yes, I know the territory well. I have edited numerous reports for Organisations That Are No More.)

Actually I've met Addle and I thought she was rather gorgeous. Though admittedly did not inspect her upper arms.

herbaceous Tue 09-Jul-13 10:18:26

Ugh. Upper arms. That inside bit that's all puckered and doughy. Bleh. Mine, that is.

I too am an editor. Previously of actual magazines, now of other people's work.

Don't apologize for ranting. It's what I do all the time, tho shouldn't.

I'm taking DS to the playground and paddling pool at Parliament Hill Fields today. Getting in before the school hols!

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 10:42:39

Herbs I also have that on inner thigh.shocki have put a cardigan on today because of upper arm malaise.(even though it is already 26degrees shock
Have started kneading pizza dough and am boiled already.

Stropperella Tue 09-Jul-13 10:58:00

Addle, ha, call that self-indulgent? Nooo. Upper arms? Don't talk to me about them. I have just spent 18 months learning the hard way that no amount of press-ups will fix mine. Which is dispiriting. I can't do HRT as synthetic hormones send me even madder than I am anyway. I'm 48 and a half but look 92. grin Especially after a night of no sleep worrying about my utter inability to fix my dd/ understand what the school expect me to do when she refuses point-blank to cooperate.

It's sort of good to know that some of you have been through similar phases with your (now older) teens. I have also noted that there is a definite "fashion" for self-harming amongst teens these days, which is very depressing. It's very difficult to get any tougher with dd than we already are, as she doesn't have a social life (doesn't go out, doesn't invite people round, won't celebrate her b-day) and appears to be more of a lurker online that anything else. Punishment appears to feed her masochistic tendency for self-sabotage rather than achieve much else.

She has gone to school today having refused to do any preparation At All for her delayed French oral exam and is saying that she won't turn up to it and if she does turn up, she won't say anything. This is part of her actual GCSE. She has the German one next week and a battery of other tests that she is equally refusing point blank to do anything about.

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 11:14:47

You do NOT look 92, Stropps! But I know what you mean about feeling it.
I wish we could just move away to some remote island in the middle of nowhere (with no internet connection!)and keep our teens safe till the awfulness is over.

Maybe we should join Maryz's troubled teens thread.

Cremo, I may PM you later!

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 11:24:04

Please dosmile

hattymattie Tue 09-Jul-13 11:58:29

Just skimmed through the thread having missed a few days.

CV - sounds absolutely awful. Isn't there some procedure that can stop the bleeding D&C or something like that. You must be exhausted.

All those with body image problems - it's the sunny weather and having to get out bits that we normally don't show. I hate myself! My despair is just added to by the DD's who just fling on anything and look gorgeous. It sort of ousts any délusions that I'm not middle aged. I can't even find nice linen trousers as no hips only mummy tummy and wide shoulders so I look like a top heavy bloke.

Stropperella Tue 09-Jul-13 12:16:42

As a post-script to my woe, woe and thrice woe posts, I should probably add that dd's isshoos are generally well-camouflaged when out of the home and any hoo-hah is reserved for the home arena and specifically directed at me. The family who took her camping in France last summer say she is lovely and wonderful with their 4 small children and she gets on perfectly with their teenage dd. They want to take her again for 3 weeks this summer.

Sorry, it's all me-me-me today. I am knackered and listless. And I have a bunch of roofers doing expensive things to the chimney about 8 foot above my head.

Still, the chickens appear to be happy in their new home. grin (Someone pls reassure me chickens do not suffer from adolescence)

CointreauVersial Tue 09-Jul-13 13:00:47

I am feeling a little brighter today, still a bit snotty with cold, and in and out of the loo, but the GP appointment is in sight..... He's a popular chap, and off soon on a 6 week sabbatical, so I only managed to get an appointment tomorrow by nicking one DH had made (his dodgy knee will have to wait).

It has been therapeutic downloading my woes to you lovely lot; DH is mildly sympathetic, but to be honest is blissfully ignorant of the whole "period" thing. Like most men....

This "fashion for self-harming" thing is very interesting. It's true to say that I had never even heard of it until I was well past my teens, and certainly didn't encounter it at boarding school (anorexia was the mental illness du choix, if anything). Have any of you been watching that series about teens and mental illness?

Terrible-teens-wise, our biggest challenge in the coming months will be getting DS back on track for Y9. He had the most appalling school report, dreadful attainment, minimal effort....so we are setting up a meeting with his HoY to agree "strategies". Y8 was an experiment in letting him manage his own time at home, organising his own homework etc. and it has not been a success, so the XBox will be weekends only from September, and DH's "stick" approach will be replacing my unsuccessful "carrot".

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 13:13:18

CV, I have yet to hear a good story about a boy at secondary school (apart from a friend whose son is very keen) - they all seem to be a disaster AFAICS!

Blackduck Tue 09-Jul-13 13:49:26

I am getting dp to install software on ds's pc to limit time spent on it. He can 'earn' extra by doing jobs around the house etc.

BTM - thanks for that - mucho comfort as I have all that to come!!

hattymattie Tue 09-Jul-13 14:32:28

BTM - mine's starting secondary school in September - I'm already worried! His end of year teacher said "he's very lazy". Direct translation from French - they don't mince their words.

I'm going to confiscate the computer and DH has discovered a thing where we can switch on and off internet in different rooms so we don't have to suffer when we ut him off.

motherinferior Tue 09-Jul-13 14:42:00

I threatened to throw out the telly on Sunday. Admittedly this was because I couldn't reach the books DP had carefully and alphabetically stacked behind it, but my children's ability to veg in front of it is driving me demented. It is their default - turn the telly on and veg. Their father appears to find nothing wrong with this angry. They slump, blanket-wrapped even in this heat, sunken-eyed in front of it and appear outraged if I object to the fact I'm cooking their supper while they are in front of the Big Bang Theory.

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 14:46:58

Watching crappy TV seems infinately less problematic than social media.

wilbur Tue 09-Jul-13 14:56:43

CV - a friend in the States has endometrial ablation and said it changed her life during menopause. She was knackered and anaemic after a number of episodes like yours. Hope you get somewhere with dr tomorrow.

Stropps - I think it's v good news that dd is nice to other people and well-adjusted around little kids and teenage ones. I realise it's shit for you that all her angst is home-focused, but better that way than her not being able to manage outside the house at all. Interesting about the self-harm thing being a fashion, I can see how that could easily come about, but I also think that anxiety and challenging behaviour has always been huge for teens, it just that we are so much more aware and ready to talk about it now. That may have knock on effect of stirring ideas up in some teens, but on the whole I think it is a good thing. I wish someone had asked me how I was feeling when I started stealing things and pulling out my eyelashes (among other things sad shock) but I was just punished. Years later when I found out that other people did Bad Things too I was (a) very relieved and (b) furious that no one noticed I was in pain. Crem's boundaries sound good - being there for her but not so she can have it all her way. Could she be persuaded to get a summer job, or do some volunteering? Some kind of organised joining in thing? My own teen years were turned around by a church youth group - welcoming, non-judging, but with, obviously, high behaviour standards. I'm not suggesting religion is the answer, btw, it was just a space that wasn't school or home and had kind people there who understood that few members would carry on being churchgoers but tried to help them anyway.

Herbs - sorry dp being critical. I am lucky in that dh rarely does this (and when he does I fall apart and/or get shoutily defensive, neither of which is very grown up) but he does do the manly sulking thing which makes me feel equally terrible. We need to communicate better - I envy some American couples I know who go for a relationship MOT and counselling - not becasue they want to split up, but because they want to improve what they have. Of course this would involve me having to admit that not everything I do is completely perfect.....

Any MI - have only just managed to look at the photo you posted. It is truly, truly fabulous. grin

motherinferior Tue 09-Jul-13 14:57:35

God yes, I do take your point. It was my personal derangement of Sunday grin

Hatty, I look at DD1's reflection beside me in the mirror and feel quite suicidal. I look like Frankenstein's monster (my hair is doing weird things) while she looks...fabulous.

addle Tue 09-Jul-13 15:34:59

thank you everyone for sympathies - was so embarrassed at self, had to leave the house for several hours

herbs and crem - spot on re arm/thigh - i wore a jacket all day sunday for that v reason, stoutly refusing to remove it as I slowly melted

although i agree that social media is much, much more worrying, my dd's ability to lie on the sofa and watch TOWIE/M.inC. for hours on end drives me DEMENTED (small house, you can't get away from it) and she then points out that I am clearly angry because I am old and unsuccessful and should not offload my angst on her. some truth in that but still not fun or fair. she also looks fabulous in everything but I quite like that when I'm not looking in the mirror

and i do think daughters often seem to need to struggle really hard against their mothers for a while

hattymattie Tue 09-Jul-13 16:57:34

God Addle - children can be so cruel sometimes - don't take it to heart - sometimes they really know how to push the buttons. I usually finish by telling mine that I hope their children give them as much stick. You're probably right about daughters and struggles though.

Mine dont watch too much TV - computer is a big problem. Esp with DS.

MI - the mirror thing pretty much sums it up - especially when DD1 is trying on something of mine - just to show how much better it can actually look angry

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 17:30:52

Oh Addle sad how do they learn how to be so cruel.

My mother used to get on my case relentlessly about me carrying cups of coffee upstairs and it splashing all over the walls. Did I care. Did I fuck
It's come back to haunt me as dd now DOES THE SAME THING and it sends me over the edge. Ha serves me right. smile

rubyrubyruby Tue 09-Jul-13 18:13:23

addle - I hear you about DDs. Oh yes. It's tough but hopefully worth it long term.

Birthday was lovely thanks (yesterday - same date as herbs DS) my friends arranged a lovely lunch with sandwiches, cakes, summer fruits and vodka jelly sparkling drinks in a lovely little local church hall.. It was fantastic. I then came home to a family BBQ in the evening and more champagne. I have a house full of flowers smile

QueenQueenie Tue 09-Jul-13 18:20:21

Evening All,
Sorry to read everyone's woes and tribulations. Perhaps a mass angsting will be therapeutic / cathartic...

<stern voice and even sterner look>
50 and thereabouts is not, I repeat NOT, ancient.
It is only right and proper that our teenagers are gorgeous visions of youthful beauty besides us even if it is painful and very provoking that their loveliness is totally wasted on them... we are their betters in experience and wisdom (I hope).

I do think teenage boys and their mothers seem to generally have less agonising relationships than girls and theirs, well judging by my own experience and that of my friends. It's not plain sailing by any means but somehow more straightforward. I wonder whether girls and their mothers have to go through this in order to properly separate and allow girls to grow up and become independent... boys just replace their mother's central importance with girlfriends (not all of them of course...).

Don't underestimate the value of how much you all care about doing your best. The very fact we are struggling but able to think and talk about it counts for a lot IMO.

Hang on in there....

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 19:14:05

Addle, there is NOTHING wrong with your arms. They are perfectly slim and normal (unlike mine which are a peculiar combination of toned on top and massively bingo-winged under - DS used to love wobbling them!) Just wear what you want - no-one else will be judging yousmile

Luckily DD has not yet made rude comments about the way I look. She is petite with a lovely curvy figure and really pretty and I feel really proud of her (is that shallow?) And she is way too small for my clothes!

And I actually got quite into TOWIE when DD was watching itblush

Wilbur, poor you. But you came through it - that should give us all hope. And the rest of us with less than perfect childhoods. Actually, did any of us have a perfect childhood?

Ruby, your birthday sounds lovely. And a house full of flowers - perfectsmile

herbaceous Tue 09-Jul-13 19:23:49

Talking of flowers, DP bought me a lovely lot as a peace offering. I shall not be bought off, however, and will start the fight back at each barbed criticism, sulk or tut.

I should have seen it coming. In the early days of our relationship I asked if he could put the sharp knives into the dishwasher cutlery basket point down, rather than up, as it made me fear for my wrists. He went off on a self-pity whinge, saying wasn't he a good boyfriend in other ways, did he beat me up, etc. I stood there open-mouthed. Whenever he's being a dick I remind him of dishwasher-gate.

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 19:30:18

Lol herbs. I have had a similar conversation about dh's grass cutting recently as he never does the edges.no , just the middle. Woe betide anyone who criticises his macho- grass cutting esprit.now I have to get down on hands and knees and pull the grass fringe out by hand( in major rage and sullen huff obv.)
No humour here . Oh no.wink

herbaceous Tue 09-Jul-13 19:38:49

I specialise in passive-aggressive hoovering of the edges of the carpet, and grooves between stairs, for the very same reason!

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 09-Jul-13 20:22:16

Chums seem to be upping their game a bit - this looks almost wearable, although it is made of polyester. I wonder who buys their shoes though? And the rest of their clothes My mother is 80 and wouldn't be seen dead in any of them.

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 20:33:14

Herbsshockgrin at dishwasher-gate!

As our garden is waiting, desperately, for a make-over, trimming round the edges isn't currently a priority, but I have the same problem. Luckily the cleaner does all the hoovering!

MrsS, what ARE you doing looking at the Chums catalogue? Sadly my DM has been wearing Chums-stylie shoes all her adult life. She is now 82 so they are age-appropriate now!

motherinferior Tue 09-Jul-13 20:42:45

MrsS, step AWAY from the Chums catalogue!

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 09-Jul-13 21:07:04

Mind you, some of those shoes do look comfy... gringrin

Can someone tell this cat that it is too hot to snuggle right up to me? He is on his back with his paws in the air, but snuggled up to my legs and he's too warm and furry.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 09-Jul-13 21:10:51

Is it very, very hot or is this a hot flush? I have not had a period since May, so thought I had better POAS today, to rule that out. MI was getting regular texts, which concluded with me telling her I had weed all over the window, and it specifically said not to do so, so the test wouldn't work. But once it had dried out a bit, it looked as if it was negative. So is this it then, the Big M?

Stropperella Tue 09-Jul-13 21:52:34

Jeez, MrsS, I had a terrible vision there for a moment at "weed all over the window". grin (Am bit slow today due to lack of zzzzz)

bigTillyMint Tue 09-Jul-13 22:07:53

Me too Stroppsgrin

I (and my BFF - we live parallel lives!) did at least one POAS each when we first started missing periods. Thankfully all negative. Yes, I think you're on your way!

Cremolafoam Tue 09-Jul-13 22:33:40

Dd and friends delivered to metal rock night full of perry. I predict vomming later.
They are sleeping in the tent tonight!
so I don't care the wee darlings.

CointreauVersial Tue 09-Jul-13 23:33:30

MrsS - watch out - you'll have diddly squat for 8+ months, then.....BOOM! Or is that just me?

Belated Happy Birthday, Ruby. It sounded like the perfect day. How's the house sale, btw?

Blackduck Wed 10-Jul-13 05:45:28

Nope CV not just you...
I also read the weed and window bit as Stropps did and it took my lagging brain a couple of minutes seconds to catch up smile
We are back on Moon bloody River at choir - I might kill myself...

Mum at Royal B consultant on Friday - tad nervous...

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 06:39:25

I love Moon Riversmile

Good luck BD - I'm sure they know what they're doing and will look after hersmile

Blackduck Wed 10-Jul-13 08:36:00

try bloody singing it in four part harmony BTM!!

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 08:49:18

You wouldn't want to hear me tryinggrin

herbaceous Wed 10-Jul-13 09:56:00

Ooh I love Moon River, and we do it in four-part harmony! Just four of us! [brags]

Howevs, as I'm on the top I have the easy bit.

We should start a crepey choir - BD, MI, Alto and me!

Blackduck Wed 10-Jul-13 10:38:37

I suspect I am not of your or MI's calibre, Herbs... smile

motherinferior Wed 10-Jul-13 11:19:43

I am having a row with a client who did not read the original spec I sent over to them. I hate this!

CointreauVersial Wed 10-Jul-13 12:53:38

I like a nice sing-song, and have been trying to find a local choir that doesn't sing bloody church music for ages. Singing lowers your blood pressure, apparently (even Moon River wink).

Anyhoo, I went to see the doc this morning. Blood tests reveal the menopause is in full swing (none of this peri-meno nonsense any more, it would seem), and he reckons it will be all over in 18 months or so. He has prescribed norethisterone to stop the current bloodbath and referred me for an ultrasound to check for fibroids (I doubt there will be, as I'm not remotely bloated and haven't had any bleeding for a long time). Then after that we will consider HRT. My iron levels were fine. So I'm feeling a lot more positive about things.

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 13:08:36

CV that's good news. Especially the bit about it all being over in 18mths! How does he know? And great that your iron levels are OK (you must be a vampire eat lots of red meat!)

There are lots of choirs round our way, but I am too embarassed to go alongsmile

motherinferior Wed 10-Jul-13 13:17:35

CV, v pleased about the iron. It will all be over. Ho yes.

Blackduck Wed 10-Jul-13 13:39:50

We did belt out 'Summertime' last night which was jolly nice.... smile

I am still feeling ho hum and am unenthused and slightly cross about things.

I have booked Friday off, I will tackle our guttering and garden and doubtless been in a seething rage with dp by the end of the day smile

Cremolafoam Wed 10-Jul-13 14:53:06

Oh cv I'm so glad for you. A solution at last.
A straggle of teenagers are still half asleep in my garden. They got home at 2am and continued on the cider for a while. I slept blissfully through it all.
I have brought them a pot of tea and a box of coco rocks .grin
Have to start planning my front garden revamp for MN competition.
Dh out scanning the garden as we speak .q excited to get my voucher this morning!!grin

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 14:57:35

Oooh, keep us updated on what you're doing!
Is it mainly planting or are you doing hard landscaping?

We are waiting for the builders behind us to construct a permanent wall before we can sort our back garden out. Sadly it will be next year before it looks halfway decent.

CointreauVersial Wed 10-Jul-13 17:07:50

Look on the bright side, BTM, no slaving over a hot flower bed in the sunshine; you can let the gardening slide for a while.

Our builder finally pushed off this afternoon, leaving shiny new fascias/guttering, a front door that closes properly at last, some boxed-in pipes....and a big pile of rubble and scrap in the back garden. We will delay getting a skip until we rip out DS's bedroom (planned for sometime in August), so will be living with the rubbish pile for a while. No point weeding then, is there? grin

I don't know how the GP managed to put a time-frame on things menopausal, but he was fairly certain it would be less than 2 years. I believe him.....

Cremolafoam Wed 10-Jul-13 17:51:20

If you believe, it will be so CVgrin

I am envisaging a sweeping bed of lavenders: a gravel path to the front door : a willow tree: front wall repainted something farrow and ball-y :

What we've got:
Field grass & weeds up to knees : 4 raised beds falling apart as they were made out of old floorboards: a willow tree: several bastard tree stumps wink:
A giant artichoke plant like a triffid : some litter: a very hot cat

Well a girl can dream grin

rubyrubyruby Wed 10-Jul-13 18:11:12

<<sings>> moooon river ..... la la la la la

summertimmmme ....... and the living

Glad your GP has sorted you out CV, and your house is sounding great smile

Ours is rolling on nicely with surveys done, mortgage offers in and solicitors dragging their heels. Hopefully be ready to exchange when we get back from our holiday. Ours is the only house in the chain.

S&B - I went shopping today for holiday gear! I was dreading it but it went rather well grin apart from a distinct lack of skirt purchases. I did buy 8 tops though and a pair of shorts.

DD is envy ha!

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 10-Jul-13 18:39:48

Does the menopause coincide with a sudden interest in gardening, or is that just my friends? Although I was admiring the window boxes in the apartment opposite yesterday...

I have nothing weather appropriate to wear for a job interview on Tuesday.

hattymattie Wed 10-Jul-13 19:24:03

So glad it's sorted CV. I must go to Gynae but am waiting until September when kids back to school. Then I can find out the worst.

On a positive note - I finally found a cocktail dress after scouring london and Paris in a local shop next to Carrefour. 60% off and it gives me a nice shape - I'm very happy. smile

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 19:33:19

CV, I am liking your lack of gardening ethos! MrsS, it obviously doesn't coincide for some of usgrin

Cremo, lavender beds and gravel and weeping willow sounds lovely - go for it!

Ruby, you are sounding very jolly - any linkies? Upload a photo hatty!

In S&B news I have ordered 2 dresses from the dreaded B***n. this and this Fingers crossed they are long enough! Not that I need any more dresses, of course.

Cremolafoam Wed 10-Jul-13 20:02:53

Oh I love that poppy field dress BTM - I've had my eye on that for a while.smile

I am very disappointed with what summer clothes I have . This is the first time I've ever had cause to wear any if them when not on holiday.
They just don't seem to transfer from beach holiday in France to slightly unexpectedly tropical Ireland.
I have one dress I dare to wear here in shit brown taupe and 1 pair of white linen trews which are Ok if labour intensive in the cleaning dept.
All my summer tops show too much norkage. Fine for la plage. Not fine for pushing a trolley round Sainsbos.
I do hate t-shirts. So unflattering on me. Hmm

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 20:21:55

Re large norkage (not that I have any!), I work with two women who are enormously well-endowed in that department (and I mean enormously!)
One wears crew neck Tshirts which are frankly not at all flattering. The other wears much lower cut ones - V or rounded, but showing a bit of cleavage. Much more flattering and not inappropriate.

addle Wed 10-Jul-13 20:58:35

Lovely dresses BTM, and will look very nice on you - think they require a bit of height, esp. the second one.

CV there are advantages once it's all over. I'll scour my fading memory to think what they are.

Agree about t-shirts generally - fairly unflattering on most people.

In S&B news I bought some 'body shaper innerwear' from Uniqlo that 'shows off your natural curves' to wear underneath an unforgiving maxi. It's my first venture into girdle territory and it was very much reduced. I fear I may be going to find out why. Will let you know.

Cremolafoam Wed 10-Jul-13 21:08:08

Yes to v- neck or whatever you call those drapey numbers. Just don't seem to own any.shock
I must go and look in an actual shop.
Will the weather last do we think?

Quite like this looks cool
And top&Rf-700=1000&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=50&sort=-1&clr=Print this

motherinferior Wed 10-Jul-13 21:20:25

I appear to have given up wearing Tshirts completely. Quite startling, really. They make me feel all spare-tyreish even though I don't weigh any more than I did.

My MiniBoden silver shoes and sandals are charminggrin

bigTillyMint Wed 10-Jul-13 22:02:03

See, MI, there are benefits to being smallsmile

Cremo, yes those look better - especially second one. But figure hugging is also good - shows your curves off, especially for large boobagewink

rubyrubyruby Wed 10-Jul-13 22:20:23

My new gear is hardly worth linking to - just basic H&M cheapies but serviceable and holiday-ish. I've also bought some boyfriend jeans which are totally not my usual style but it's too hot for skinnies and they are comfy - wearing them rolled up with flat sandals.

Crem - I'm large of nork and definitely need a low V or scoop neck. I always wear some sort of contrasting vest top:camisole under.

Nice frocks bTM

CointreauVersial Wed 10-Jul-13 23:21:09

BTM - I also did a Boden order last night, but resisted the dresses. I can't do linkies on this tablet, but I ordered a nice stripy linen/sequinned top and two pairs of coloured skinnies (yellow and greeny-blue); I've somehow managed to trash my lovely jade skinnies, apparently having spilt bleach down them. angry

rubyrubyruby Thu 11-Jul-13 08:22:23

Just totted up and I got:

3 vest top/camisoles
3 scoop neck t-shirts
2 linen fine knit long tops
1 pair of shorts
1 pair of boyfriend jeans

All for £90!
Non designer obviously, but good enough for slinging in a suit case, washing in a bath tub and drying over the balcony.

Blackduck Thu 11-Jul-13 08:51:09

Love the halter neck one BTM (but it would involve the purchase of a new bra too, so luckily the colourway in my size I am not keen on!)

motherinferior Thu 11-Jul-13 09:16:35

Good haul Rubes. (BTW, MaybeBentley, you around?)

Am in Skool Play season. Sloshed makeup on many primary kids last night. Including several 11 year olds who are womanly. We're not talking the girlish winsomeness of DD1 and her lot, we're talking solid. Wouldn't want to get into a fight with that lot.

hattymattie Thu 11-Jul-13 09:33:35

MI - I've consigned all T shirts to the back of my cupboard after seeing May holiday photo's of me looking "pregnant" next to gorg DD's (see previous ranty posts). I am now also looking at drapey - unfortunately drapey seems to mean viscose - hot and sweaty.

Crem - grin at tropical ireland. I'm hoping for tropical north yorkshire next week.

BTM - need pictures of you in Boden dresses - esp second one. I'm eyeing the sorrento dress in pewter but it's still £66 shock. Waiting for further reductions.

hattymattie Thu 11-Jul-13 09:41:06

God DD's exam results online from 10 am. Of course it is now 10.40 and not a peep from the "maison des examens". There is a very high level of impatience and frustration with the little hatties at the moment

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 10:25:48

Oh good luck to small hatties this morning. I must say I find the online results thing a bit scary. It seems to add to the general terror.
Dd will be up an Alp in Chamonix when hers are out so I'm going to have to relay them to hershock

Rubes that's quite a haul for the money! When is singing trip?

Blackduck Thu 11-Jul-13 11:24:05

Interesting article on teenage daughters in the Times today (would link, but think it is behind a paywall)

Could scan and email if anyone is particularly interested?

addle Thu 11-Jul-13 13:11:29

who is it by, BD? general theme? x

motherinferior Thu 11-Jul-13 13:12:38

Can someone <wibble creepily> explain Skype to me? Do I need to get New Stuff for it?

Blackduck Thu 11-Jul-13 13:18:42

New book - decoding your teenage daughter- by some HT.

herbaceous Thu 11-Jul-13 13:23:39

MI - from what I can gather, you just need to download the software, and then you can make phonecalls over the internetweb, for free. With a webcam, you can do face-to-face calls, similarly gratis.

<insert disclaimer here>

herbaceous Thu 11-Jul-13 14:39:19

BTW, met DS's new teacher on Monday. Did I say? Can't remember. Anyway - she's very nice, and made me feel much happier about the whole business. The building had been perked up, too, with some lovely artwork in the hall.

There's not much of a settling in period, though. First day starts at 9.40, ends at 3.15. Next day starts at normal time. That's it. Get on with it. I suppose it's better for parents, and possibly kiddies. Less of a palava.

Now perusing school uniform, as don't want to be caught short in September. But just looking at the trousers makes my eyes prickle. I had a feel of the school uniform trews in Sains (natch) but they seemed very stiff. Will rub his little legs raw. <wail>

hattymattie Thu 11-Jul-13 14:40:45

Yay - super exam results. The junior Hatties are very happy. smile It's like the destress zone here.

motherinferior Thu 11-Jul-13 14:46:05

Hurrah for the Hattitudes!

addle Thu 11-Jul-13 15:00:47

Hattymattie - congrats, how lovely!

BD - thank you

MI - is honestly very straightforward, you download the software, sign in and get going. I'm on it if you wanted someone to, um, have a go with. I can't always make the video bit work, ahem.

bigTillyMint Thu 11-Jul-13 15:11:53

MI re Skype, DD worked it out OK so it can't be that difficultgrin

Herbs, parents round here would bite your arm off for a settling in period like that!

Well done little Hatties!

BD I would like to see the article, think I need to!

Had a lovely morning walking to Brixton and a quick coffee in Brixton Village before a meeting - felt like I was in the Real World (apparently us teachers aren't in the Real Worldwink)

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 15:20:16

Yay to little chapeauettes!
That's great hattie! Open the blancs de blancs!grin

I am at b et q browsing for the garden makeover. Gonna be easy peasy to spend 300 notes in here .
I am v sensibly making a wish list first wink

bigTillyMint Thu 11-Jul-13 15:35:40

£300shockenvy

DH just text me to say he had missed a call from the DC's school - thought it was yet another complaint about DS (or something to do with DD), but it was the science teacher saying DS had done very well in his science test, YAY! At last some good news about himsmile

rubyrubyruby Thu 11-Jul-13 15:48:13

Crem - it's not me on a singing trip. I can't sing a note grin
I'm just off on our family holiday next week.

Well done to your DDs hattie.

I've had a lovel afternoon with my Mum after a dodgy start to the day. Went for a lovely sandwich in the sun and then trawled around a load of local antiquey type shops.

rubyrubyruby Thu 11-Jul-13 15:50:36

Oooooo - have fun spending your winnings Crem.

I have another friend on MN who's a professional competition enterer (if there's such a word) she spends about 20 hours a week on it and wins loads

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 16:11:23

Sorry rubes - so many crooners on here I got confussed.grin
Yes £300 of your new pounds!!!
Lots Id love though. So hot tho cv is right - I'm slacking as gardening would be ridiculous today. 31degrees according to my fiatgrin
The student ( summer jobber ) b &q look like he was melting so I bought him a coke with my winningsgrin poor thing..

Blackduck Thu 11-Jul-13 16:23:12

Hattie - congrats to the mini hatties....

Article scanned - if you PM me at email address I'll send on....

hattymattie Thu 11-Jul-13 18:32:19

Thank you crepeys - mind you that's just a bit of the bac. The rest is next year!

My DD2 has taken DH's old Samsung Galaxy and given me her Sony thingy. I've discovered I cannot type on a virtual keyboard - I always hit the letter next to the one I want. I think I'm going to have to go back to my Blackberry.

I'm doing no gardening as we are going on holiday next week and the garden will inevitable shrivel up and die without watering.

CointreauVersial Thu 11-Jul-13 19:12:50

MI - why are you battling with technical stuff? Isn't that what your DCs are for?

Any IT-related issues here are referred straight to DS.

(fwiw, setting up Skype is dead easy, just download it).

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 11-Jul-13 20:32:03

Would this do for an interview? I have nothing to wear that is weather appropriate and smart and am losing the will to live. I don't think it's a particularly exciting dress, but it's either that, a grey dress from Boden or a black "bandage" skirt and a smartish top, but would have to wear tights with those.

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 11-Jul-13 20:36:39

And why is everything so short? I tried on a dress tonight, would have been perfectly nice if it had been below my knee, or even on my knee, not floating several inches above. Or do I need to go for frum clothing?

rubyrubyruby Thu 11-Jul-13 21:09:06

I think that dress is great for interview MrsS - not that I know much!

Are you heading my way Hattie?

Oh btw. I was scouring the 'which MNer would you most like to meet' thread searching for my name and someone mentioned us!
Just a lurker apparently.

<<narrows eyes and peers out>> join us!

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 21:10:28

That JL one looks perfectly ok to me.wink.
Move away from the Frum Wardrobe ..... grin

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 21:12:54

Come out lurker!!
Join the coven
gringrin

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 11-Jul-13 21:19:07

Oh yes, I saw that lurker, too!

Please come and join us. We are luffly, honest. grin

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 11-Jul-13 21:22:25

Crem, I lived in Israel for 6 months and went the whole Frumtastic way, as it was easier than thinking about what I was going to wear and whether it was going to offend, so I was always appropriately dressed to pop over to Bar Ilan university or spend Shabbat with a religious community on the Golan. DH eyed my long denim skirt, Naot sandals and shapeless elbow length T shirts with great suspicion when I returned. I did like that denim skirt though. And the black one, and the navy one...

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 21:37:53

Lololol gringrin
Ah yes mrs s kibbutz stylee.grin
I had a long denim skirt also to go with my cheesecloth blouse( bleurgh I can't even say that word ) when I was in hafetz hayim in 1984.
There is photo evidence of this posing with some freshly harvested avocadoes. ( photos with fruit seems to be a theme )

I

QueenQueenie Thu 11-Jul-13 21:42:16

ooh show us your avacados crem!

Cremolafoam Thu 11-Jul-13 21:52:03

No sorry cant seem to locate that particular photo ATM - ahem...

No just no.grin

alto1 Thu 11-Jul-13 23:07:17

Evening all. Glad to hear better news of yr health, CV.

Yy to crepey choir, though I can only croak atm. Feeling sorry for myself because we have a much- anticipated concert on Sat and I'm brewing a disgusting cold.

DH and I have caught up with Les Revenants on TV and I'm hooked - haven't enjoyed a programme so much for ages.

Dd has broken up and been out to leaving do for her friend, who's going to conservatoire. Fun evening but with tears at the end, and she's got the cold too, so a mixed start to her holiday. But she really needs the break, she's whacked.

Meanwhile at work, all I can think about is early retirement...

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jul-13 07:08:50

MrsS that dress is v. nice, but a bit £££ - I bet there's something similar but cheaper elsewhere - Boden/White Co sale? And WTF is Frum? Frumpy?

Our NZ visitors arrived last night - the DC hit it off with their boys straight away (DD having last met them when she was 1 and DS inside me!) and much wine and beer was consumed! Barbie tonight smile

Lucky DC who have broken up - DD has a French oral and a Maths test today. And a Spanish test next week. WTAF? She is on her knees (and was BBMing all the time I was trying to help her prepare for her Frenchangry)

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 12-Jul-13 07:20:52

I've ordered the frock, plus a few other bits from JL on click and collect, and will pick them up on Monday.

Frum = religious (Jewish) clothing - so long skirts and elbow length sleeves for modesty. Not always frumpy, but can be, especially Kibbutz or Settler chic.

Blackduck Fri 12-Jul-13 07:42:41

I have today off (yay) all the house is still asleep - will need to rouse ds in a mo for school. He has had enough - 9 days still to go. We fly out to Barcelona on the Thursday after he finishes. I think that might have been a bad idea!

Good luck with interview NrsS - I take into chance of screaming children in this one!?

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jul-13 07:59:29

Aahh, I see!

Good luck with the interview - I guess this will be a face-to-face one with no screaming childrenwink

BD Barcelonaenvy It is a gorgeous city!

beachyhead Fri 12-Jul-13 08:46:45

Finally have the house to myself. Last day of term here, last day of school for dd1, so packed her in for her last half day ever....Mucho complaining as apparently it is optional attendance on the last day, but why would you want to miss your last day ever at school.

I might like that teenage daughter article from the Times. We have seen a radical change from hard working, diligent and calm to grumpy, tired and partying since the end of exams. I had a word last night and even she admits she's finding it 'hard'. She's a girl who likes structure and this relentless summer is challenging her.

I've gone through her CV, she's dropped it off in a few places, she has a list of things she wants to do in the holidays, but I guess she has to figure out how to plan it all herself. Growing up thing I guess!

I've bought huge amounts of children's shoes for holiday, which I know isn't exactly S&B but these are super cute and a bargain

Good luck with the interview Mrs S, I really like that dress....

Happy holidays to all going away....sshhhh, but I tried on a bikini for the first time in 20 years last week. It was a truly horrible sight, but I think if you are venturing into bikini land after two decades, you probably shouldn't start in Sainsbury's smile. More scaffolding required, I feel.

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jul-13 09:01:10

Beachy, I fear my DD will find a long summer similarly challenging in 2 years time. Is your DD not going off on one of those "surfing" holidays which seem to be so popular with teens now? I am dreading it all!

hattymattie Fri 12-Jul-13 10:12:34

Herb's can you PM me article about daughters as well please. I forgot to ask yesterday.

Mrs S - I think interview dress is lovely. By the way I found my dress in 123 - a shop where nearly nothing ever fits me as it's made for French women - but I did find the miracle cocktail dress and it is knee length.

We have a whole two months to fill here - 1 july until 3 September.

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 10:37:11

Not I, Hatty. No daughters in this gaff. Or, indeed, the Times. Wasn't it Crem?

Good luck with the interview, Mrs S. Power on through.

Nasty headache here. The sort I tend to get pre Aunt Flo, but she's not due for another week. Then again, she came within three weeks last cycle, so maybe this is my crepey menopausal treat. Lovely short cycles, with plenty of PMS.

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jul-13 11:10:57

It was BD - she has just emailed me a copy!

Oh Hatty, that's quite a while. Are you going on hol at all?

Cremolafoam Fri 12-Jul-13 12:24:44

Not moi bd's article I believe.

We have two month break here as well although dd finished on 19th June and not back to school until 27th August or something.shock
She is off to arvon next week on a writing course and then granny's for 2 weeks.
Dh and I have been offered a cottage in west of Ireland by friends. So may have a wee quiet holiday on our owngrin

hattymattie Fri 12-Jul-13 12:28:45

Ahh - BD - could you PM me article? confused Useless today - trying to pack cases. Going to UK tomorrow - Up North to my parents. A huge drive - Paris to North Yorkshire.

Then back for three weeks then Spain for two weeks in August where I fear it mey be too hot for me.

Herbs - I always get once a month nasty headache where I swallow truckloads of nurofen.

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 12:48:04

I had found that taking a magnesium supplement throughout the month did help. But the problem is remembering to take it!

Blackduck Fri 12-Jul-13 13:19:44

Oh Beachy (checks no one is listening) I tried on one in Fat Face - bottoms okay, but feel very unsupported in top area - y y to scaffolding grin

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 13:34:07

Oh dear. I may have to grasp that particular nettle, too. I've got a halter neck one, but to hoist the baps to the required position puts quite a strain on the neck!

motherinferior Fri 12-Jul-13 14:17:49

Freya. You need Freya. With underwiring.

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 14:20:50

Freya, you say. Not Sainsbury's. I see.

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 14:30:19

Criminy. I've just looked up the price of Freya bikinis. £35 for a top? However, having been horrified by frumptastic pictures of me in last year's £10 swimsuit from Sainsbury's, maybe it is worth it.

motherinferior Fri 12-Jul-13 14:35:45

I purchased one a couple of years ago in the Figleaves sale (in a slightly strange purple but I felt that was the least of my worries). Obviously I don't wear it for my regular outing to the local leisure centre. Even the codgers I swim with would look slightly askance.

beachyhead Fri 12-Jul-13 14:36:13

I've just tried on another one in m&s which fitted fine, it was the strange dimply thing betwixt boobs and bottom which I think may require a one piece.... I've not had cause to examine it recently and it's not pretty...

I'm considering one of those veils that hang off the bottom of your bra a la belly dancers grin the shimmying may cause a distraction

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 14:44:19

My biggest 'problem area' is from the arse downwards, which no bikini can sort out, unless accessorised by a bathing machine. Even if I spent now until my holiday doing squats and lunges, my legs would still resemble two tubes of porridge, loosely wrapped in lavender clingfilm.

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jul-13 15:10:50

grin

I am hoping there'll be some miracle in the next 3 weeks and I will look stunning in mine.

rubyrubyruby Fri 12-Jul-13 15:30:17

Heavily patterned bikinis help to detract from the body I find.
Mine is a bright floral m&s number with top in bra size - not my bra size unfortunately as I'm a freak, but close enough I hope.

Blackduck Fri 12-Jul-13 15:53:18

I recall owning one aged 24 which was little more than four triangles and some string......sigh Now it's spandex, concealed panels, underwiring and enough material to make a 100 of said bikini.....

FF bottoms were nice thou' - short like....

motherinferior Fri 12-Jul-13 16:18:18

Beachy, the veil thing is sheer brilliance.

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jul-13 16:44:33

IN S&B news, my dresses have just come and I LOVE themsmile

BD, I erroneously bought a triangle-string bikini when we got back from Thailand and I was feeling lithe and tanned. I am not sure that it will get much wear in Turkey! At least it was a cheapie!

CointreauVersial Fri 12-Jul-13 16:45:04

I recently bought a FatFace bikini (yes indeedy), which is halterneck, however there's not a lot of weighty bappage to hoist. It does give me a surprisingly impressive cleavage, and the bottoms are boyshort style, which I prefer.

I think a one-piece can make you look more frumpy than a bikini - see multiple threads on the subject - particularly if it is a plain black one which shouts "don't look at me!"

Cremolafoam Fri 12-Jul-13 16:47:27

frumkini
That should do me anywaygrin

CointreauVersial Fri 12-Jul-13 16:48:05

My Boden parcel also arrived today - I love the striped linen top, but the two pairs of jeans were just a bit too tight for comfort (I wouldn't be able to sit down without risking the loss of sensation in both legs). I'm debating sizing up (noooooo).

Blackduck Fri 12-Jul-13 17:13:35

CV sounds like the one I looked at/tried. The top felt way too flimsey for my norkage smile the bottoms were board short stylee...

CointreauVersial Fri 12-Jul-13 18:49:07

Hold the front page, crepeys, I think my period has stopped!

29 days. shock

The blurb on the pack of pills said that I would get a period a couple of days after stopping the tablets (I have a ten day course), so there is more to come, but for now, a break. Hallelujah.

<share price of Tampax suddenly collapses>

And DS is being a vile little swine at the moment. angry I just dropped him off at school for a Sports Awards evening; I was sorely tempted to tell him he couldn't go, but I just wanted him out of the house, to be honest. Hug your sweet little boy, Herbs, while you still can.....

herbaceous Fri 12-Jul-13 19:34:34

Oh I do, CV, I do. sad

hattymattie Fri 12-Jul-13 20:33:45

CV - happy for you - you must be so relieved.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 12-Jul-13 21:56:13

Have I got this joy to come then, CV? sad Must be a huge relief to have stopped. You must have been feeling quite drained. grin (Sorry.)

I could not wear a bikini. I would clear the beach in seconds. My stomach (apart from there being much too much of it) is covered with stretch marks, which 13 years on have refused to fade and I look like I've been savaged by a tiger. Oh and there are several scars on it as well, from various bits of surgery.

Am meeting my Gentleman Friend for dinner on Monday night. He has become a bit of an old woman of late, which means we have to eat early, so that he can be tucked up in bed at a reasonable hour.

I spent today interviewing for an under butler (don't ask) and found it refreshing that all of those we interviewed had had part time or Saturday jobs all through school and college - Maccy D's, shop work, caffs, you name it. Unlike the policy wonks who will generally only do internships. I'd rather employ someone who has had a "proper" job, as they're usually a grafter and don't see things like doing the washing up as beneath them. I want to put up a poster in our office that says "Having a vagina is not a mandatory qualification for tidying the office and washing up."

Stropperella Fri 12-Jul-13 22:01:12

Very nice interview dress, MrsS. Good luck with avoiding all screaming kiddies this time.

CV, oh that is a record you won't want to break. 29 days.

Frum. I think I am naturally frum. I don't like exposing much flesh and am v. grumpy that tops these days all scoop down at the front. No likey. I currently have a chest like a pink crocodile, despite the Factor 50.

Wilbur, you may be pleased to know that Griselda is now Mitzi smile Mind you, Snowdrop is in danger of being renamed Greedy Bastard. Dog has decided he will only howl and scream if he catches us talking to the chickens. Otherwise he is pretty much ignoring them (well, he knows that he can't scale a 6-foot trellis).

I sat on my garden path on Wed evening amidst a tangle of 25m of electric fencing (bloody harder to put up than you might think) and blubbed pathetically after dd had been super-ultra-plus foul. Today has been better, with her actually doing something positive by doing an hour's prep with dh for her German oral. This is the first time I can ever remember the pair of them working usefully together. Amazing.

Less usefully, but entirely predictably, she has refused to see the Guidance Counsellor at school. If she could but volunteer or get involved with a project over the summer... This is not her way at the moment. Refusal and scorn-pouring are the order of the day. Oh well.

Off to Paignton Zoo with the cubs tomorrow. I hope the coach has aircon...

Stropperella Fri 12-Jul-13 22:06:27

x-posts MrsS.

I have my itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny bikini I bought from the surf shop last summer. It looks fine - as long as all observers are about 300 yards away. Dh kindly took some pics of me emerging from the river on hols. Arsula Undressed, it was. And Daz blue-white with interesting red scribble on my upper thighs (broken veins, which even ds saw fit to remark upon). It's basically an "abandon all hope" situation.

Stropperella Fri 12-Jul-13 22:07:57

And congrats to Hattie's dd on bac results. And belated happy birthday to Crem's dd and to Ruby.

Stropperella Fri 12-Jul-13 22:12:00

PS: Is the Helen Wright article any good? I'm schadenfreudischly looking forward to finding out if her advice works when her own daughters are teens...

Blackduck Sat 13-Jul-13 06:30:06

Ds's school report here. I blubbed. His teacher has been and is fab - it is a detailed report that describes my little boy and not some random y5. He has come out of himself and his confidence has grown - now they want him in a school team (all his scores were level 4 except PE - ha ha) and to take on a leadership role smile
You may recall the trauma threads and threads back about the battle with literacy many many threads back - what a difference a year and a school makes smile

Re mum - 4/5 weeks wait then they will take her in, check all other major organs are okay and can take the surgery. Collapse lung, key hole, 10 day recovery in hospital. He is hopeful. Mum will do it, dad is resistant.

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jul-13 07:05:07

BD, that's great newssmile

The HW article was interesting and pretty sensible. And so right about parents feeling alone in dealing with them. It is so helpful to talk to others about their experiences and realise how difficult a time it is for teens and how difficult it is to parent them!

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 10:23:51

Oh bd well done your ds. What a difference a year makes indeed.

Re your mum- do you mean she has a collapsed lung? Goodness poor thing she really has been in the wars.
Difficult for your dad and you too.
Take car bd

Blackduck Sat 13-Jul-13 10:41:17

No Cremo - she needs a heart bypass, to do that they collapse the left lung - hence the fact your organs need to be up to it. So they will check all that and assuming okay will collapse her lung, do key hole surgery and then re inflate.

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 10:49:08

Oh sorry bd I see now. Gosh.

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jul-13 10:54:24

Gosh, big op - no wonder your dad's worried. But I'm sure they wouldn't consider it unless they thought she was up to it.

Kiwi's now gonesad It's a shame NZ is so far away and £££ to fly over as all DH's old mates from school/uni are lovely.

CointreauVersial Sat 13-Jul-13 15:28:26

BD, fantastic news about the school report; a good teacher is worth his/her weight in gold.

Wearing my FatFace bikini today with pride (OK, only in my own back garden...). And a light sheen of sweat, which is why I'm having an ten-minute indoor MN break. grin

DD1 has six hours of play rehearsals in a stuffy village hall, poor lamb.

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jul-13 15:43:42

Me too, CV - tis tropical in my back yardsmile

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 16:41:07

You lot now have the weather we've had here all last week. Never thought I'd be so grateful for 19 degrees and a fresh breeze.grin
We have started on the big front garden makeover now that the temp has lowered by 10 degrees. Phew still scorching to weed in. I am stripped to my tankini and welly shoes. A less glamorous picture Ivan hardly imagine.
Poor kitties are flaked out inside with dd who is sun allergic. I am going to teach her Rick Steins Korma recipe later. She is learning one survival student recipe per week this summer.
grin
So far:
Bean chilli tacos
Leek and ricotta lasagne
Chickpea and rice
Homemade pesto
Homemade onion jam

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jul-13 16:48:02

Cremo, they sound fab recipes! I take it she's veggiesmile

DC have now both gone out (separately of course!) to the Lido - it's open till 9.30, so we should have a few moments of peace, unless they can't get in at all!

Blackduck Sat 13-Jul-13 16:53:23

All in various states of flakedness here!
CV linky...
May go to pub for a pint.....

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jul-13 16:59:41

Hmm, that sounds like a good idea BDsmile

herbaceous Sat 13-Jul-13 17:32:57

I'm counting down the minutes until it's cava-o'clock.

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 17:49:29

Just thinking the same herbs. Gotta do this curry and then it must be prosecco'clock here too. Have cleared 12 sq meters of grass today with dh. Am zonked .
Dd is grating coconut after dropping same from a great height. Lol
Took 45 minutes for her to crack it.
[ haven't told her you can buy coconut milk in a carton]gringrin
Better to learn from scratch - at least the first time.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 13-Jul-13 18:05:52

I have an Hermes scarf! DH said, as we were passing the shop this afternoon, "I always meant to get you an Hermes scarf before we left Paris." So I thought, Carpe Diem, dragged him in, and came out shortly after with a scarf. And then I went to BHV and got a Longchamps Pliage weekend bag in the sale. What a giddy day!

And we are going out tonight, to my favourite restaurant, DD1 is babysitting and DD2 has opted to stay Home Alone. hmm

Crem - get MI to send you some of her curry recipes...

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 13-Jul-13 18:06:24

I have a fantastic bean curry (two in fact), very easy, if you would like the recipes?

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jul-13 18:10:50

Had loads of fizz with Kiwi's last night - just fancy a cold beer now.
Apparently there's been a nasty accident at the Lido so they've all been tipped outconfused

When are you arriving over here, MrsS?

And yes, fresh coconut grated in curry is lushsmile

Blackduck Sat 13-Jul-13 18:20:03

Oh yes MrsS bean recipes please!!!

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 13-Jul-13 18:31:03

I will post later. One can also be made with chicken and contains peanut butter (Groundnut Stew). The other uses green beans and haricot or butter beans (from a tin) and some hummus. It's just called "Bean Curry", or as DD2 rather predictably calls it, "Well What Is It Now?" grin

CointreauVersial Sat 13-Jul-13 18:37:20

Well done, Crem. You have to work for your £300! It would have been unbearable in 32 degrees, though.

BTM - accident at the Lido sounds nasty. DS has just come back from the Stepping Stones (rope swing and wild swimming in the River Mole) and the air ambulance was there too.

envy at your Hermes and Longchamp haul, MrsS. I used to have a small Longchamp handbag, but the chuffing mice ate it. I like the look of the weekender size.

Well, the BBQ is lit, and it is most definitely Pims O'Clock at Chateau Cointreau. wine wine

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 19:14:02

Yes to " well what is it now?"curry recipe mrs S
The korma looks and tastes tremendous. She is inflating popadoms in the microwave ATM grin
Dd is indeed a veggie as is dh so mostly eat that way out of simplicity.
I wouldn't knowingly turn down a giant pièce de boucher if it came my way though wink
Got to keep up my iron haven't I?

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 19:23:47

Blimey mrs s just thinking of you in the BHV in the heat on the Bastille weekend . Feel weak
Loving the bargains tho.

Cremolafoam Sun 14-Jul-13 16:56:43

Afternoon hags!
We are having a spontaneous last minute sur Le vif Bastlle Manifestation here today .
There will be gallettes
Cidre
And a small display of left over fireworks from Halloween.
All welcome!

( we need no excuse to open alcohol in this houseblush)

alto1 Sun 14-Jul-13 17:08:43

I would love some curry recipes too, please, Our menu needs to be refreshed.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 14-Jul-13 17:42:09

I am getting a bit stressed about next week's interview, so do feel free to nag me next week re recipes if I forget. Made a quiche for lunch today (salmon and broccoli) and am about to make two dishes for Monday night (when I am away) and Tuesday (when I am back, late).

Have avoided all parades today - it has been remarkably quiet here, given that we live a hop, skip and a jump from Etoile. A 15 year old threw a firecracker at a bus last night and it went bang (the bus, not just the firecracker) - fortunately everyone managed to get off - a few streets away from us. The cloud of smoke was huge.

Went to my favourite restaurant last night and had most delicious food as always.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 14-Jul-13 17:45:14

Why would you need an excuse to open some wine? It is always Independence Day somewhere, or failing that, some martyr or saint you can drink to. If, of course, you need an excuse.

bigTillyMint Sun 14-Jul-13 17:56:09

Good Luck MrsS!

Off to Richard Hawley soonsmile <looks for QQ>>

Cremolafoam Sun 14-Jul-13 18:38:18

Mrs s very best of luck to you this week.thanks They'd be idiots not to have you.

Have a great night Hawley fiends!

Blackduck Sun 14-Jul-13 19:18:08

Fingers firmly crossed MrsS.

rubyrubyruby Sun 14-Jul-13 22:53:55

Hope it goes well this week MrsS

Richard Hawley? We've talked about him before on this thread haven't we? I can't remember who he is.

Another crazy weekend here.

motherinferior Mon 15-Jul-13 10:14:41

Pssstt...the toast sale is on grin

Cremolafoam Mon 15-Jul-13 10:33:53

(Averts eyes from sale)

motherinferior Mon 15-Jul-13 10:37:25

...in other news, the baton of the Period From Hell is now in my unsteady grasp...

Stropperella Mon 15-Jul-13 10:51:05

BD, fantastic news about your's ds's report! So glad the move has proved so positive for him.
Not so fantastic news about your mum's op, though. What a stressful thing for her and for you all.

MrsS, may this be The One.

Lovely day at the beach yesterday. I threw caution to the wind and wore my hankerchiefs-and-string bikini and then kept meeting people I knew. (A Local Beach for Local People with kayaks and little boats) Oh dear. Still, the dazzling whiteness of my stomach will have blinded them so that they won't have taken in any more detail. <<hopeful>>

Stropperella Mon 15-Jul-13 10:52:36

Ps: MrsS's Groundnut Stew is delish. Only downside was that dh liked it so much he OD'd the first time we had it and got dreadful indigestion. He is now only allowed the one giant plateful. grin

bigTillyMint Mon 15-Jul-13 11:12:23

Must try the groundnut stew - did I miss the recipe?

Richard Hawley was fab last night - we were right at the very frontsmile The warm-up -Tom Hickox was pretty good too, but what is it with these young men growing beardy beards and wearing full suits?confused

motherinferior Mon 15-Jul-13 14:59:40

I have, thrillingly, downloaded Skype and purchased headphones etc...

CointreauVersial Mon 15-Jul-13 17:20:42

Now, come on, Strops, we saw pics of you in your bikini, and you looked absolutely fine. No danger whatsoever of you scaring small children.

I don't think I actually took my bikini off this weekend.

wilbur Mon 15-Jul-13 18:09:08

Hola crepsters! I am returned from camping weekend near Camber Sands which was fun, except I think I have to accept I am not a great beach person. Or rather I have very high beach-related requirements which are rarely fulfilled [high-maintenance emoticon]. For a relaxing beach visit I must have at least 3 of the following: Very few other people there; an attractive view (picturesque rocks, pretty boats, a cliff or two, buff young men); a shower (open to the world is fine, just for rinsing); a gentle breeze, not a wind that deposits sand in every crevice; an ice cream/cold drink stand with less than 30 minutes queue; a waterline that is within a 5 minute walk of the back of the beach. Camber Sands has none of these. So the camping was lovely with lovely friends and cold fizzy pop, and then the let's all go to the beach, the children/dogs will love it how lovely, yay the beach etc etc kinda spoilt it for me. The main problem was the fact that the tide was out and the water was a mile away, and then it was still shallow for another mile, so you literally couldn't swim, which is the only thing I really like doing at the beach. Still, the children did love it, and if I'm lucky I can get away without visiting the beach again this summer (apart from the one in Aberdovey, which I love due to it having pretty much all of the above).

CV glad the pills have sorted you out, how very grim. Here's hoping it was a one off. Herbs - my cycle sounds like yours, getting slightly shorter and more moody each month. I assuming it's a panic-stricken last hormonal stand before it starts to go proper haywire.

smile at our mention on the "would like to meet" thread. We are lovely, in bikini body and spirit.

And re bikinis - I managed to find a very good one in the M&S sale last year. I realised I had only bought one new one since my honeymoon shock and so I went on a mission and found a v good halter style one, in a sort of dark taupe - it even has a bit of bling on it and I like it mucho. The bling is a distraction a la the bellydancer's veil idea. grin And the bottoms are as kind as they can be - nice and stretchy but firm and not teeny triangles.

herbaceous Mon 15-Jul-13 19:11:21

Gah. Spent a fruitless couple of hours in Stratford Westfield trying on bikinis. Hardly anything in JL in my size, and what tops there were didn't have bottoms to fit. There was one nice flowery retro number, but the pants would have fallen off as I got out. In Marks there was the usual paucity of anything over a C cup, lack of labelling and general tat. Everywhere else: poor show. I think I'm going to have to order a load online, and spend a hideous couple of hours trying them on, then drinking gin.

But crikey. What a flabby vile mess I am. I'm reconsidering the burkini.

herbaceous Mon 15-Jul-13 19:45:25

AND despite 5:2ing, am still only about 4lbs lighter than in March. Shall try and sugar- and wine-free week. Not counting weekends, natch.

Can someone link to that chat thread saying what jolly good eggs we all are?

CointreauVersial Mon 15-Jul-13 20:16:47

I'd love to see that thread too, Herbs. It's funny, every now and then, a lurker drops by, chats for a while, then....poof! Maybe we're too boringly middle-aged.

I reckon bikinis have sold out, like BBQ coal and parasols.

Rubes - aren't you off on your Grand Tour soon?

Cremolafoam Mon 15-Jul-13 20:56:37

And sparkling water and desk fans and bags of ice. None to be had anywhere today.
shock

CointreauVersial Mon 15-Jul-13 21:40:23

Never has the ice-maker on our fridge been so busy.grin

wilbur Mon 15-Jul-13 22:47:56

I just went to keep fit, with weights, in a boiling hot studio. I think I may actually be on fire. We have a break for the summer, so I'll be nice and flabby when I go back in September. Sigh. Never ending, innit? Herbs, at least you weigh less than you did and not half a stone more, which is what I seem to put on practically overnight when I take my eye off the ball.

Oh, and I had a brilliant idea for us all. Since we are both lovely (as recently confirmed by an impartial observer) and wise (as confirmed by me) I think we should set up as collective agony aunts. Gawd knows that between us we cover experience of pretty much everything that life can throw at women in their 40s/50s. Obviously I have no idea how we could do that, but I v much like the idea.

alto1 Tue 16-Jul-13 00:09:29

Nah, don't think agony aunting is for me. Gone right off agony. Too much like work. Want to sing, watch cat videos, maybe a bit of light cooking, gardening and dog-walking...

<dreams on>

Blackduck Tue 16-Jul-13 08:26:52

I think I have decided, like Beachy, that its the mass of white between the top and the bottom of a bikini that is the problem smile
I do like the short boardies (oh get her) in fat face, but the top simply isn't supportive enough. I used to be a dinky 34b and that was fine, but seem to be about a 34DD these days and that needs more support.

Tres warm here (not that I am complaining!) just wish I wasn't working.....

View from patio smile

motherinferior Tue 16-Jul-13 09:32:11

I ordered jeans in the Toast sale....three sizes too big <dur-urhhh>

wilbur Tue 16-Jul-13 10:01:10

Gosh BD, that is a gorgeous view, I can see why you moved! I have a view of dandelions on my dead lawn.

wilbur Tue 16-Jul-13 10:12:18

Alto - you're quite right, following your bliss if def the way to go, I was just amused by the thought of dishing out advice to all the youngsters who have not quite yet reached our state of crepey wisdom. grin

In other news, I amazed myself yesterday by actually telling the truth to someone (in a nice way) and making myself clear shock. I had invited a good friend and her son, who is over a year younger than ds2, but they get on v well, to come for a couple of nights to the Cotswolds with me next week. She accepted and then texted a day later to say could she bring another boy with her as she'd promised his mum she would look after him. Usually I would say yes, the more the merrier, but this year, I am so knackered, I just want to hang out with my friend and for once have someone for ds2 to play with and not have to deal with the tensions of 3 small boys trying to play together when 2 of them don't know each other (never a good dynamic, IMO). So instead of feebly saying it was fine and then resenting it, I said I would prefer not to have another child I don't know there shock. I feel both empowered and deeply guilty.

bigTillyMint Tue 16-Jul-13 10:53:51

BD, lovely view. I have a scrubby garden and a building site behind me ATM. And of course, lots of housessad I am beginning to dream of moving out to the coastshock

Wilbur, I think you are completely right - 3 is not always a magic number. Crepey-powergrin

bigTillyMint Tue 16-Jul-13 11:02:42

The heat is draining me. And I think I have caught CV's cold. Poor DD was completely on her knees after school yesterday - she had spent the entire day at CP stadium preparing for and doing Sports Day. She won the 100m sprint (for the 3rd year on the trot <proud mummy moment>) and then had to do a gym display. All in full sun and 30 degrees.
The hols can't come soon enough.

alto1 Tue 16-Jul-13 11:29:06

They wouldn't listen, though, would they Wilbur? They know best: they should really be giving us advice, in fact it's amazing we ever got this far without their insight grin

wilbur Tue 16-Jul-13 11:48:44

Alto grin. Absolutely. In fact, I had a conversation recently with a mother of a toddler and I was, quite entertainingly I thought, telling her about ds1's poor personal hygiene and how grubby and revolting big boys can be. Then I realised she was genuinely, uncomprehendingly disgusted by my story and I had to backpedal and say I do make sure he's scrubbed down on at least a semi-regular basis. I don't think she was convinced, and she definitely went home muttering "my son will never smell".

CointreauVersial Tue 16-Jul-13 12:54:31

They certainly never believe their darling little toddlers will ever be grunting teens. I recounted the tale of DS's recent brush with drugs at school, and several of my colleagues went shock and clutched their desk photos of small perfectly-scrubbed infants to their bosoms.

Bad luck on the cold, BTM. I am finally feeling human again after my marathon period and virus combo. I'm quaffing Spatone to keep up my iron.

I am worryingly piling on the pounds at the moment, even though my diet hasn't changed. angry

CointreauVersial Tue 16-Jul-13 12:58:44

Lush view, BD!

Our house is almost entirely devoid of views, being a long, deep bungalow on a narrow plot. The only decent outlook is from our bedroom window (trees and cows, and next door's immaculate plot); apart from that, it's fence, fence, cars, or hedge.

bigTillyMint Tue 16-Jul-13 12:59:39

Oh yes, when you have small children you cannot believe that they will ever fall prey to the teenage evils.

And you can protect them from nearly everything. Those were the daysconfused

motherinferior Tue 16-Jul-13 14:55:37

I was telling my lovely neighbour how embarrassed my girls get by my dancing. She was appalled at the very thought that her four year old could ever be anything of the kind....grin

motherinferior Tue 16-Jul-13 17:23:39

I have a job interview tomorrow!

bigTillyMint Tue 16-Jul-13 17:31:52

Ooooh Good Luck! Must be the season for interviewssmile

wilbur Tue 16-Jul-13 17:40:25

Yes, good luck, MI. smile

QueenQueenie Tue 16-Jul-13 19:05:17

Good luck to all interviewees!
Am so feckin hot and fond this weather exhausting.
Dss have announced they don't want to eat my planned supper, will cook something dull of their own choosing instead.
I am seriously contemplating going to sleep for a bit!

bigTillyMint Tue 16-Jul-13 19:24:12

Just had a semi-snooze myselfblush punctuated by DD and DH having a moment about a school tripconfused

QueenQueenie Tue 16-Jul-13 19:31:23

my sensible 14yo ds2 wants to go to Thorpe Park with 2 also sensible 14yo friends on Thursday. He is quite capable of getting about and manages most things well. He's been before but with an adult there but in the background. What do you lot think??

bigTillyMint Tue 16-Jul-13 19:36:29

I think he will be fine. DC's went with school to Chessington when they were in Y6 and were allowed to go around without an adult. All he has to do other than that is get there and get home!

addle Tue 16-Jul-13 19:37:02

good luck MI!

QQ - my quite sensible 13 year old went to Chessington with his quite sensible friend last year on their own and had a great time. they were careful to get there v early so that they could do as much as possible as early as possible. x

BD lovely view

QueenQueenie Tue 16-Jul-13 19:46:08

Thank you. Ds2 is much more adventurous than his older brother so I sometimes find it hard to use my judgment about this sort of thing... I think I'll let him do it <gulp.

addle Tue 16-Jul-13 19:56:45

thinking about it, me and my vvv sensible friend (mother of other boy) were very detailed in advance about trains, phones, what to do if lost, how to keep in touch, etc. i'll try to think if there's anything else. x

QueenQueenie Tue 16-Jul-13 20:16:49

oh yes.. he will have many instructions!

Cremolafoam Tue 16-Jul-13 20:20:42

I am in a revolting period-related funk.
Just feeling overwhelmed and sad.( not me at all)
I am SO fed up waiting for the hysterectomy . It's purgatory. Nearly a year.

Dh has been slaving at the front garden and most of the grass is now stripped. My hero.
Weeps into tea pathetically .sad

Good luck with interview MI.

motherinferior Tue 16-Jul-13 20:33:12

Oh Cremo I am so sorry.

I do not think I will get this job but will make creditable attemptgrin

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 16-Jul-13 21:39:56

Sorry Cremo. sad

I am not sure how my interview went. The main panel member was inscrutable, the chair was over excited and bouncy and the third member (who was DH's old boss) kept asking me questions about "upselling" and "strategising". I managed to avoid rolling my eyes.

The interview dress made me look like a fat frump, and I managed to pick up quite a funky top to go with a straight skirt, and looked reasonably presentable.

Other style and beauty news - I have managed to buy a pair of jeans that a) fit me properly and b) stay up. Less style and beauty is the fact that they are from Pruner.

wilbur Tue 16-Jul-13 21:51:59

Sympathies, crem, I hope tomorrow brings some relief. Blardy hate hormones, I do, I feel they are like some kind of reverse Ecstasy some days, sucking the joy out off the world. At least you have a nice new garden to gaze at while you can't be arsed to do anything else.

Stropperella Tue 16-Jul-13 22:31:16

Crem, hope the waiting is over soon. Sooo agree with Wilbur about hormones sometimes sucking the joy out of the world.

For the first time ever, ever in my whole life ever - I have gone a little bit brown almost all over. This is because I have been throwing caution to the wind and wearing my teeny-weeny bikini and Not Caring. The last time I wore a similar bikini I was 12 and I started Caring Far Too Much. That lasted for several decades (not exaggerating). If I look in the mirror for more than about 3 milliseconds, I will regress. So I don't look in the mirror. I put on the small garments and rush out into the sun and say "oooh, my tummy feels nicely warm". grin Sadly, tomorrow I will not be able to continue this important therapy as I have to work.

Upselling, MrsS? Are you sure you didn't do a tiny little eye-roll?

Stropperella Tue 16-Jul-13 22:31:45

MI, good luck for your interview.

CointreauVersial Tue 16-Jul-13 23:05:43

MI, best of luck with the interview.

QQ, I'm sure your DS will be fine at Thorpe Park. DD1 and three mates (all 12) went recently sans adults; my only fears were that they would succumb to sunburn or sugar-poisoning.

I've had a really nice day; DD2 went to a friend's after school, so DS and I went shopping for shorts/shoes/teeshirts for his depleted wardrobe. He was absolutely lovely all afternoon; I just wanted to hug him, and kept thinking "why aren't you like this all the time?" He 'fessed up to having a girlfriend for the last two months (I did know, but hadn't dare ask); he was chatty, funny.......ahh, I know he'll be vile again tomorrow, but days like today give me hope.

We got home to find DH asleep on the sofa (he had a ridiculous 17 hour shock working day yesterday, then was back in the office at 7am this morning), and dragged him to the pub, where we sat in the garden, ate BBQ food and chilled out, just the four of us; twas lovely.

Blackduck Wed 17-Jul-13 06:19:51

Good luck MI
MrsS you never know. - I got this job when the main person was inscrutable (seriously thought it was a 'no')
We are crawling to the end of term here. Latest news is ds's class teacher for next year is only coming back for a term / the head must be demented what with three resignations and a couple of retirements I think 50% have gone..... All change!!
But now ds will get Amalie teacher which I think could be a good thing.

bigTillyMint Wed 17-Jul-13 06:39:49

Sympathies, Cremo.

CV, we have to cherish those moments, eh?smile

BD, that does sound like all change, but it's good to get new blood and a male teacher should be a pleasant change!

Blackduck Wed 17-Jul-13 08:38:34

The head has obviously done a deal with another school - the guy who is coming in (obsentisibly for a term) is act deputy head and then they will 'advertise' (clearly hoping he will get it). His school are employing an NQT to replace him - looks like he had made it plain he was looking so this really suits everyone. Apparently he is well liked. Ds has him on Friday so we'll see how it goes!

Excuse my spelling - on iphone and no glasses!! (a real crepey moment....)

bigTillyMint Wed 17-Jul-13 08:55:48

All sounds positive BDsmile (not the glasses moment!)
Am just waiting to see how many will haemorrhage from the DC's sec school this summer - hope it's not as many as last year, though the replacements all seemed at least as goodconfused

herbaceous Wed 17-Jul-13 10:07:51

The head and executive head of DS's school are both leaving over the summer. I guess maybe it's nice they're all new starters together!

In a desperate pre-holiday move have been following a couple of Tracy Anderson workouts on YouTube. The woman has the hips of a 6-year-old. And massive boobs. Not Right.

Also ordered this 'retro-inspired' bikini from Marks in a variety of sizes. Looks super mumsy on the 'real'-sized model. But less so here. And bloody awful on me, I'll be bound.

bigTillyMint Wed 17-Jul-13 11:16:46

Like the blue spotty version top, but I don't do big pants as I haven't got the top half to balance them! Unless they are boy-shorts/boardies!