What do you think of a teenager at a wedding in jeans?

(57 Posts)

We have a family wedding coming up.

DS1 who is nearly 13 lives in jeans or scout trousers and t-shirts, hoodies, really casual stuff and is not interested in clothes at all. I asked him to choose chinos and smart shirt for the wedding, took him into Gap as he shunned other places, and he picked:

red, skinny jeans
checked smart shirt in several blues

They look great on him, but for a wedding??

My Mum thinks they're fine - she asked the bride to be who said 'as long as he's happy, he can wear what he likes' but I'm worried it will look wrong on the day and be too late!

MultumInParvo Tue 25-Jun-13 22:57:08

Sounds fine to me!

chickensaladagain Tue 25-Jun-13 22:57:36

Weddings are much more casual affairs than they used to be

Your mum and the bride thinks he will be fine, so he will be fine smile

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking Tue 25-Jun-13 22:58:27

Sounds ok to me TBH. Could he be persuaded into a jacket of some kind to smarten it up, perhaps?

Oh thanks that sounds great. I can switch off!!

Doodledumdums Tue 25-Jun-13 23:00:26

Well I had a couple of adults turn up to my wedding in jeans, which I thought was very inappropriate. Especially as one of them was female...which I know is massively sexist, but for some reason it annoyed me even more! However, I wouldn't have a problem with a teenager turning up in jeans, not in the slightest.

Pagwatch Tue 25-Jun-13 23:01:27

Tbh unless the wedding is informal i would think it was too caual. I woud never let my teenage boys wear jeans to a formal do.
But if the bride thinks its fine then that's probably fine.

BOF Tue 25-Jun-13 23:01:50

I wouldn't worry at all, I'd just be pleased to see them.

alto1 Tue 25-Jun-13 23:04:49

He took an interest
He chose clothes that he likes and will wear again
Granny happy, bride happy
Lucky you. What are you wearing?
Have a great time

The bride is informal and lovely with DS so I know she means what she says about it being fine by her. But as she is Scottish lots of men will be in kilts including the groom- so that makes it formal.

She's my cousin but we're English so I didn't want to go down kilt route. I thought maybe because the jeans were bright red they'd be not seen as jeans?!

MarthasHarbour Tue 25-Jun-13 23:06:02

That sounds like a really cool/smart/casual outfit.

If the bride isnt bothered, and she just sounds happy to have you all there, then don't worry. Just go and enjoy yourselves.


AuntieStella Tue 25-Jun-13 23:08:01

Well, I think it's a bit too casual. But as bride and yr mother are OK with it, I wouldn't fret

Thanks for replies!

I'm in a gorgeous green Kaliko dress - lacy, shift type style which I love. And DS2 who is 8 is the smartest of them all in lovely shirt and tie and smart chinos!

BackforGood Tue 25-Jun-13 23:13:05

I would think it too casual, but probably think that his parents had bigger things to worry about, and the fact he was there at all was probably an achievement wink

The alternative is to hire a kilt for him - which would mean both boys, as DS2 would love to wear one. The last time we did that for a family party it was £60 for DS1! He did love it though and joined in with the ceilidh - though he was 10yrs - he might well be too cool for that now!

usualsuspect Tue 25-Jun-13 23:19:49

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Surely the days of stuffy formal weddings are long gone.

elastamum Tue 25-Jun-13 23:23:42

My brother is getting married in Dec and both my two teenage DS will be in suits. even if I have to bribe them

It is DSIL's big day and her DC will dress up too. I would be mortified if they wore jeans but maybe I am just old fashioned

angusandelspethsthistlewhistle Tue 25-Jun-13 23:25:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I feel that as children of a cousin to the bride, they're not that closely related so can be more casual, but maybe I'm trying to justify something that I'm really unsure about!

If it were my brothers wedding, they would dress up more because they'd be more involved and central. My DH really thinks DS1 should be in a suit, and he thinks we should insist. I would love to let him be himself and he does look cool and lovely in his red skinnies. And way smarter than the usual scout trousers!

Cravingdairy Tue 25-Jun-13 23:30:10

Much better for him to be happy and comfortable than self conscious and cross in an outfit he doesn't like. The bride has expressly said she doesn't mind so you have nothing to worry about.

Hi-jack ........................

I used to argue with my mum about jeans at church.

I was a teenager
My mother used to make me 'dress up' for church
Our minister used to say he didn't care what the teens wore as long as they turned up.

So I guess jeans (smart jeans) at a wedding are OK wink

ICantRememberWhatSheSaid Tue 25-Jun-13 23:32:51

Sounds really nice. Much better than him wearing something he won't wear again.

Just make sure his jeans are hoiked up (not in a matronly MN fashion but just so you can't see his undies/boxers)

usualsuspect Tue 25-Jun-13 23:34:19

My DS would have refused point blank to wear a suit as a teenager.I wouldn't have made him wear one either.

AnyFucker Tue 25-Jun-13 23:34:25

would not bother me at all

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Tue 25-Jun-13 23:34:36

I think regular jeans are far too casual for weddings - but brand new red jeans and check shirt sounds fine smile

Bride is happy
Grandmother is happy
Mother is happy

... job done smile Tell DH - MN said so wink

It is a total waste of money buying a suit for a lad that age and he will feel like a prat in it - so not worth it. Kilts would be cool though if he'd wear one now?!

TidyDancer Tue 25-Jun-13 23:36:11

It wouldn't bother me at all. The outfit sounds nice. smile

I would probably give him the option of the kilt if you can afford the hire price, but I wouldn't worry otherwise.

You did the right thing checking with the bride.

curlew Tue 25-Jun-13 23:37:45

It depends what he's wearing on his feet, and on his attitude. Cheerful, chatty, engaged- jeans fine. Sullen, grunting, distant- jeans not fine.

Startail Wed 26-Jun-13 00:04:11

Brand new coloured jeans and a nice new shirt fine.

Denim jeans no.

Weddings need you to look like you have mad an effort. That the effort is something your comfortable in is fine.

Teen DD1 will wear a posh frock, but not uncomfable posh shoes (I don't do wedding hight heals either).

lillybloom Wed 26-Jun-13 07:18:20

i think it sounds a great outfit. I have managed to get my son into a suit for my friends wedding - although he is wearing trainers as I'll never get him in shoes.

Blue faded jeans and a logo T-shirt => really not making any effort and a bit rude
New coloured jeans and a shirt => making an effort and absolutely fine

In fact my teenaged cousin wore almost exactly this outfit in different colours to my wedding. My aunt was very worried that this was the smartest thing that she could manage to force him into so she checked with me and apologised, but I could not have cared less.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 26-Jun-13 07:28:22

As a parent of two boys I'd be disappointed he'd chosen jeans, albeit coloured ones, but in all honesty I'd be more grateful that he was still engaged in the process and happy to go. Someone up thread mentioned about attitude - if he's happy to be there and will be pleasant and polite to other guests and older relatives etc, I think you can count it as a win!

MrsShrek3 Wed 26-Jun-13 07:43:04

ds1 is the same age. he recently went to a family function in very similar stuff in his own choice of colour, but had a waistcoat on too. Looked amazing. the shirt had the colours of both jeans and waistcoat in. Is that an option if you feel he needs something "smarter"? I also agree fine btw, I'm discovering it is difficult to get it right for young teen boys' clothes for any kind of occasion. There's only casual stuff or very formal (and expensive) ime.

50ShadesOfMaybe Wed 26-Jun-13 09:56:10

Smart coloured jeans and nice shirt sounds fine to me. (Not faded denim, not a t-shirt.)

Would probably steer him away from trainers/converse on his feet for something more formal.

Yonihadtoask Wed 26-Jun-13 10:08:52

Sounds fine to me.

We went to a family redding earlier this year.

Dss(16) had a new suit, which he did need for other events, so fair enough.

Dss (13) wore coloured chinos, and a smart, casual jacket. Shoes were a bit smarter looking than vans.

DS (15) wore coloured jeans, checked shirt and some chelsea boots.

It would have been pointless to kit them all out in suits and smart shoes, which they would then grow out of having worn only the once.

They all looked smart and clean.

There were some guests in the church wearing actual blue denim jeans anyway, so I guess things are more relaxed.

Just make him put them away until the wedding so they look new and smart. You know what boys can do to jeans in a very short time! It wouldn't be great if they looked faded or scuffed at the knee. However the fact that they are red makes them a bit more trousery and less casual and with a nice shirt they will look great. Can you persuade him to wear a red skinny tie? He would look so cute cool.

Unless it's a really formal society wedding then I think new red jeans on a pre-teen / teenager are fine (blue denims would be too casual).

pictish Wed 26-Jun-13 10:18:26

Sounds good to me! Kids look weird in suits anyway.

IceAddict Wed 26-Jun-13 10:23:26

I think new red jeans sound fine, I think casual old jeans would not be right. Have a great time

They aren't 'jean' jeans are they? Not blue or black and denim so I think they would be fine with a smart shirt, especially for a young teen. It might be different for a full grown 19 yr old though. Potentially, Bright colours won't look out of place if there are going to be kilts too. It isn't like everybody will be in full black morning suits.

If the bride and her DH aren't bothered everybody else can take a running jump imo. They are the ones who will be looking at the wedding photos forever more and if they are happy who cares? I also think it would be a terrible waste of money to get a suit - when is your DS ever going to wear again before he grows out of it? Even hiring, if children's suits are available, is expensive and a waste of money.

(Off on a tangent, DS is 8 and wants to wear suits at almost every opportunity, so long as they are either brown or navy pinstripe and he can wear them with red Converse to look like the Tenth Doctor grin)

landofsoapandglory Wed 26-Jun-13 11:03:54

I've got 2 teen boys, they wouldn't have got the option of wearing jeans to a wedding. They know they have to wear certain outfits to certain events even if it is not their usual attire. We went to a wedding when DS1 was 16, he wore the suit he had worn to his Prom, and DS2(14at the time) wore formal navy pinstripe trousers, shirt and tie.

daisydoodoo Wed 26-Jun-13 11:19:41

could you not persuade him into navy chinos? they would be a bit more formal/weddingy, but still able to be dressed down with a t-shirt for after so he could get wear out of them.

We went to a wedding recently and both ds wore chinos, ds2 is 11 and wore smarter beige/tan ones from next with a gap checked shirt and collared cardigan (was feb so cooler weather) ds1 is 15 and wore navy chinos with a green checked shirt and a cotton knit jumper all from next.

They have worn the chinos since so would no longer be any good for a formal occasion but looked smart on the day.

Happymum22 Wed 26-Jun-13 13:57:48

In some ways because lots will be in kilts, the red may blend in.

Fine if the b&g aren't bothered but I wouldn't have been impressed if it had been my wedding. There should be occasions when we dress up. Casual and comfortable is fine for most days but I don't like that people now don't like to dress up at all. I would expect wedding/christening etc to involve a bit more effort than a night out with your mates kind of clothes.

The red jeans and shirt are being saved so they will still be 'new'. I love the idea of a bow tie or skinny red tie and DS1 raised his eyebrows in a 'yeah might be ok' type way!

We are having a dress rehearsal on sat am prior to shopping in the afternoon so will decide then if changes needed.

Thanks for replies, really helpful, I'm sticking to plan for red jeans for now!

YoniSingWhenYoureWinning Wed 26-Jun-13 22:28:02

I would find it a bit disrespectful, but I am quite po-faced.

BackforGood Wed 26-Jun-13 22:33:58

I think the thing is, you asked him to pick some chinos, but then you bought him the jeans.
With my ds I would have said... "Do you want me to buy you some smart new trousers {hold up chinos} or are you going to wear your school trousers?", therefore making the chinos the more acceptable (to him) option. By buying him a pair of red jeans, you have added that option into the mix.

tabulahrasa Wed 26-Jun-13 23:20:26

Just because kilts have colour in them it doesn't make them casual dress...they're formal wear and I think jeans no matter what colour or the age of the person is not ok.

saintmerryweather Wed 26-Jun-13 23:29:44

if i get married i think id prefer everyone was happy in what theyre wearing (as long as its not drab boring black, black is for funerals). so i wouldnt mind in the slightest. as long as my wedding party was dressed smartly i would be pleased to have some bright colours among my guests

OverAndAbove Thu 27-Jun-13 07:54:51

The bride says it's ok, and the boy's mum says it's ok? Then it's ok! Have a nice time, OP.

RainbowBob Thu 27-Jun-13 09:54:24

Haven't read the other comments - so apologies if I am repeating something - but red jeans sound great for a wedding. Faded blue ripped jeans - probably not! But the outfit you've described sounds perfect for a 13-year-old. My mum dressed my brothers, when they were a similar age, in Bermuda shorts (remember those?!) for my cousin's wedding as they refused to wear anything else, and she could not afford smart trousers. They looked fine - they sort of got away with it because they were young. Red jeans are so much more smart than cheap-o Bermudas. And about a million times more stylish!

I was prepared to say no way, but think that sounds great - not like he's wearing ripped blue jeans and a t-shirt! Much better to buy something he will wear again.

SoupDragon Thu 27-Jun-13 11:48:05

I'd probably make him wear a plain shirt rather than checked but [shrug]

curlew Thu 27-Jun-13 11:53:53

My ds has green chinos for "smart" and a linen jacket he loves that he bought in TKMaxx that seems to pull any outfit together.....

lillybloom Fri 28-Jun-13 22:22:16

TolliverGroat - my 11 yr old is the exact same!

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