Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

(270 Posts)
NumTumDeDum Mon 03-Jun-13 23:50:54

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

deleted203 Mon 03-Jun-13 23:56:09

Have no help to give (except to shout 'Hooray, I'm not the only one') but wanted to say I haven't heard anyone, barring my own family, use the expression 'rough as a badger's arse' for years and I am wildly excited to see it does still get bandied around!

(Good luck and I may lurk for advice from the sartorially proficient).

30 day shred dvd (i got it for £4.99 in debenhams) that should help with the weight, i warn you, it is very hard.

Can you home colour your hair? What colour is it now? is it too light or too dark?

Primark do cheap skinnies or if you can stretch a bit further, New Look do good ones and they aren't too pricey

Grab a few cheap vests from primark for layering and some t-shirts in different lengths and colours

Don't go overboard with clothes if you're going to lose weight though.

RachelHRD Mon 03-Jun-13 23:59:41

I had to do some videos for market research and I ended up doing them with my sunglasses on as I just couldn't look at all those grey hairs for that long...
I feel your pain x

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 00:00:27

Yay solidarity for frumps! Frumps unite! And er, go shopping, hopefully. And come back with things that look nice.

aftermay Tue 04-Jun-13 00:03:11

You only need a good top for the videos, I imagine. So don't worry about the jeans. Make up, tidy eyebrows (but not in the caterpillar category), smile. Just get the money and forget about it smile

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 00:07:20

Yes I think my hair is too light. Last time I dyed it I went for dark brown but that made me look sallow. I can't work out what my colours are. I think I need to go for a brown but a cool one rather than one with red tints if that makes sense?

I do really want to lose a bit more weight. I'm back to pre pregnancy but I was overweight to start with. Not sure when I can fit the shred in but I'm marrying DP in September so I think I had better find the time!

If you need a cool toned brown, you need to look for something with ash in it I think. Try a semi permanent first so if it's wrong, at least it will wash out! I believe you can google what the numbers on dye boxes mean which might give you a better idea of what to look out for.

Also, tidy your eyebrows (it will make a massive difference, I promise)

Before you decide on make up, sort your hair colour as you might find the colours of your make up change as you change your hair.

Shred is a 20 minute workout. doesn't sound like much but it's hard, it really makes you feel it! Even a couple of times a week will make a small difference but obviously, the more you can fit in the bigger the difference.

Get fitted properly for a bra if you haven't already. if you need help with that, head over to the bra thread, the ladies there will help you.


NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 00:30:49

Thanks! I will need the bra thread, that's another thing - I'm stuck in these awful nursing bras which don't hold me up very well and I'm in an f/g cup - probably wrong, didn't have a lot of faith in the bra fitter at M&S.

Right. Off to Boots tomorrow and then to make an appointment with a hairdresser.

Pusspuss1 Tue 04-Jun-13 05:30:33

What about setting yourself a weight loss goal and saving up a bit in the meantime, then making an appointment with a free personal shopper in one of the department stores? I did it once and it was great - you can try on loads of stuff and they'll suggest ideas and help you pull together an outfit or two for when you need to look good.

You might also get your colours done or buy the CMB book which is cheaper and will mean you can work it out yourself.

Don't go on film again without a trim and professional blow dry, at the very least! :-)

Sunnysummer Tue 04-Jun-13 06:29:55

Have you got any good hairdressing schools nearby? You can get cuts and colours for feee or very cheaply from trainees - most of these will be pretty good (and fixed by the teachers if not) and if you hate your current style then the risk is low in any case!

For clothing - agree that primark etc can be great in the short term, but its also nice to have better quality things that will last more than a few washes, especially as from the sound of it you're not a frequent shopper. Do you have brands that you like but maybe can't afford? Save a search on eBay and gumtree, and if you're patient you'll see loads of good quality second hand or new but unworn bargains come up :-)

Last but not least... Before you start any big transformation, there are some great style blogs to look at for inspiration, or just go on Pinterest and make yourself a look book, it can really help direct your hairdresser and clothes search! hope it's all fun :-)

Callycat Tue 04-Jun-13 08:56:07

I'm sure you look better than you think. I know on me badly fitting clothes can add a good few pounds (more so 'cause I'm short). And a poor night's sleep adds a good five years.

A good night's rest (easier said than done with a 6-month old, I know) and a new outfit will do a lot to make you feel better.

DoctorRobert Tue 04-Jun-13 09:38:29

Re jeans, I found jeggings (good quality ones, not thin ones) a life-saver after I had DD. Elasticated obviously, so perfect for that pre-baby transition back to normal jeans - but as long as the waistband is hidden, it looks like you're wearing skinnies. You might feel a bit less frumpy than in bootcuts?

Startail Tue 04-Jun-13 09:49:02

Sainsbury's tops are much better quality than Primark, they wash really nicely.

I second jeggins I live in M&S ones (they actually have jeans waist bands, but very stretchy).

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 10:36:56

Thank you all! There is a college salon down the road but having enquired I can't take my son with me as no children allowed on site so that's out. Might be an option when my mum comes to stay. For now I've got a medium brown dye to try at home until I can decide on a style and arrange a cut.

It's definitely a case of starting to look around me and see what other people are wearing. I popped in New Look earlier but had no clue. Pinterest is a good idea. I love French Connection but don't think it suits - think short and dumpy hour glass with a short body and long legs.

Hazelbrowneyes Tue 04-Jun-13 10:37:04

Get thee to Tesco if you have a limited budget. I've bought dresses, work clothes, jeans, tops, jumpers, shoes, etc from there a few times in the last year and weirdly, the only time I get complimented is when I'm wearing a Tesco purchase! You can even browse and order online clicky

HellonHeels Tue 04-Jun-13 12:42:15

What kind of hair do you have? Mine is a mess if I leave it unattended (wild, frizzy). Five minutes of blow drying or a quick run over with straighteners really helps me look a bit more put together but I know it can be hard to do if you've got a demanding baby.

I also like a bit of serum or moroccan oil to calm it down without getting greasy and that takes only a minute to do.

I agree with those who said eyebrows make a huge difference. I get mine threaded; if you're in a place with a reasonable-sized Asian population you should be able to find a cheap place to get them done - around £4 or £5.

Get a couple of tops that fit nicely, maybe a more fitted style. If you're carrying some extra weight a closer fitting top (not skin tight) is more flattering than a smock top which (IMO) frumpifies by making you look bigger than you are. V or scoop neck is flattering for larger boobs.

Get the new bra fitted somewhere decent. Bravissimo? Just get one to start with if you're short of cash and losing weight / changing shape, wash it out overnight.

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 14:00:17

Hellonheels, it's very thin and prone to break. I have it just below my shoulders with bad layers which I've been trying to grow out along with a fringe that didn't suit me either. I have blowdried today to try and feel better and it does look a bit better. For some reason my hair always looks terrible straightened. Plus I tend to burn myself. I need to find a good hairdresser. The last one did a terrible job.

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 14:02:11

Smock top will be burned ceremonially well sent off to the charity shop anyway along with the nasty bootcut jeans. If I get rid then I won't be tempted to wear them or make do. Been making do for a long time.

5madthings Tue 04-Jun-13 14:04:30

I just got two new pairs of jeans from next, both skinny jeans, one pair is high waisted and they are great! Have had lots of compliments.

One pair was £22 and the other £28

5madthings Tue 04-Jun-13 14:07:10

Oh and I have done couch25k and continued running and lost a stone, I have another half a stone to lose and am going to get the shred DVD to help but couch25k was great, free and really easy to follow and fit in with kids etc.

HellonHeels Tue 04-Jun-13 16:58:18

Walking is really good exercise and something you can do with the baby in the buggy. Tackle some hills / inclines. It will tone your legs and I find it pulls in my stomach if I walk a reasonable distance regularly.

Sounds like you've made some progress already though, OP!

Clothes-wise, have a look at ebay - I've just bought a pair of Gap jeans for a fiver. If you can get into a Gap and try different ones on you'll know what size and shape you need then you can search for them. There seems to be a lot of current styles on ebay. Same probably applies for M&S or Next jeans.

Absy Tue 04-Jun-13 17:10:18

This is another simple, effective, and free thing that you can do.

Practice standing up straight, shoulders back, stomach in. People ALWAYS look better when they have good posture, it can make you look slimmer and apparently standing in an authoritative stance can make you feel better about yourself and more confident.

Start when you're pushing the buggy around or just walking around at home, and slowly it will become habit rather than something you consciously do.

unapologetic Tue 04-Jun-13 17:28:51

My favourite stretchy skinny bright blue jeans are from Asda! I tried on a pair recently in Karen Millen and they were about £100 and not as comfortable as the Asda ones (comfort being important when you are a frump.) But they actually quite stylish.

howiwonder Tue 04-Jun-13 18:06:48

yes yes yes, are you me? could have written your post - minus the cheese research part. also 34 with a 6 mo ds2, feel like i have really aged in the past year...
Problem is, lately I feel like I maybe should just accept it and be a frump. like im not actually that bothered. thats not good, is it? am losing the will to clothes shop....shall go and check out some of the links and tips above in an effort to get my mojo back

issimma Tue 04-Jun-13 18:14:06

I'm the same age, and have a 6mo ds2...

I'm on a mission to sort myself out as I look soooo much older than 6mo after having dc1. And I seem to have got vainer, so watching w interest!

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 18:48:41

Oh Absy, are you my dp?!! He is forever telling me to do this. He's right and so are you. I have terrible posture. Ok, shoulders back.

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 18:50:34

Issima and HowIWonder, it's my dc2 as well. I wore bikinis and all sorts after the first. I can't imagine ever doing that again at the moment. I just look soooo old!

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 18:52:39

I am not accepting the frump though i shall banish it. No choice really otherwise I've got to accept my mother dresses better than me. This cannot happen.

issimma Tue 04-Jun-13 19:41:40

howiwonder I keep thinking 'sod it, this is it now', but don't really want to embrace the frump. Would be easier though.
num My hairstyle is also crap. But I have no time/energy to spend wazzing around with straighteners. Would get it all chopped short, but that would make me look like a man!

New Look have great Tshirts for £5. Or work with what you have - bootcuts aren't necessarily bad. Are you on pinterest? Lots of good bootcut looks there. Maybe smarten them up with a jacket or new accessories? What do you like? Wear the type of jeans you feel good in, not the ones DH likes.

As for colour, save up to get them done by HoC. Until then, do as I saw recommended on another thread. Have a look at the palettes for each season here, choose your favourite and try to stick to those colours.

Inspired by this thread, tonight have sorted out facial hair (my neighbour does bargain waxing) and will do a home facial. But first chocolate and wine.

Valdeeves Tue 04-Jun-13 19:57:31

I'm laughing as I was thinking the same thing - are you me???
I'm 34 too with a 3 year old and a nine month old. My whole torso is just been ransacked by the kids - boobs small and flat after BF, ribs pushed out, whole upper and lower abs baggy. I've also got a pregnancy rash that never went away.
When I look in the mirror I think " Frumpety Frump Frump!"

My best tips are these though:

1. Do the BIWI low carb diet on here and DO NOT CHEAT - watch the weight fall off quickly.
2. Drink two litres of water and a day - you will be amazed after two weeks at how much better you look
3. Try Peacocks for tops and flip flops.
4. Get some coral nail varnish - it's on trend and will really make you look more fashionable.
5. Use coconut oil to give yourself a hair mask - it seems expensive but lasts forever.

And the shred is really good but God it gets boring after a while - go walking etc if you can.

howiwonder Tue 04-Jun-13 20:10:24

i have the shred, dare i dust it off once more? i did find it good first time round, might go and have a look for it in a minute.

i just ordered the book 'escape the diet trap' the other day so am hoping that will inspire me, its essentially low carb too i think - is low carb a bit dodgy with bfing though valdeeves? cant cope with feeding as much as i do plus feeling all weak and wobbly

i think having no real social life doesnt help at the moment, find myself thinking whats the point in getting nice new clothes if i will only get to wear them round the bloody supermarket. need to find some sort of babysitter and have a few dates with DH again...

off to browse new look, peacocks, tesco websites etc

btw - looks like 34 is the age for mid frump crisis?!!

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 20:23:29

I think it must be. I don't know if I should take it as inspiration or a smack in the face that Nicole schertzinger is 33.

issimma Tue 04-Jun-13 20:25:58

Blame the babies. I looked just like Nicole S before I had kids.


5madthings Tue 04-Jun-13 20:32:25

I am.also 34 and was def looking frumpy til i started losing weight and exercising, then got new clothes. Oh i also have a pair of skinny jeans/jeggings from sainaburys, dp bought them and i was like wtf but they actually look good on and are soo comfy!

Still need to sort my hair, its really dry and brittle but am not sure what to do with it, i always just tie it back in a bun/knot or pony tail...

happyreindeer Tue 04-Jun-13 20:45:21

I am much older than you. You lucky thing to be so young.I shop 99 % in charity shops and all my clothes are from Boden ,Hobbs , Jigsaw and the like. Cheap and easy way to help yourself and other people. I am a great believer in the Paul Mckenna I can make you thin cds. I have been totally in the zone for months. Desperate to exercise( I like aqau fit, Davina Mcoll dvds and walking) and losing loads of weight.

howiwonder Tue 04-Jun-13 21:07:23

bollocks, just found the shred dvd, was kinda hoping it was lost...

NumTumDeDum Tue 04-Jun-13 21:09:23

I'd never heard about the shred until I found MN. Is it better than Davina?

howiwonder Tue 04-Jun-13 21:25:02

i dont know, i did have a davina one years ago and i cant remember what i thought of it - they're all pretty much by much i reckon. the thing that i liked about the shred was that it was really short so easy to fit in to my day, and i remember that i did genuinely start seeing a difference pretty quickly.

i had the super embarrassing situation of someone thinking i was pregnant the other day, so that was a bit of a wake up call. DH assures me its not that i look huge but just that i always wear tunic baggy type tops at the moment, hes probably being kind - i think its a combination of both the clothes and the post baby belly.

new look seem to have some really nice cheapie jeans, think i will head there at the end of the week when DS1 is in nursery and have a look.

Startail Tue 04-Jun-13 21:36:36

Also shoes, I loath heels, but I have to confess that I feel a lot less frumpy in wedge sandals than absolutely flat ones. This especially true when wearing very frumpy cropped trousers, because they force me to stand straight and tall and look less like a square blob.

5madthings Tue 04-Jun-13 21:44:49

I am wondering g if this better than Davina, as I have Davina DVDs already and they work quite well for toning up and losing weight, I just fancied a change..

scarlet76 Tue 04-Jun-13 22:03:11

Beauty: cleanse tone and moisturise morning and night. Use a whitening toothpaste, pluck brows or have threaded, keep nails clean, short and painted with clear varnish, toe nails painted a blood red, get hair cut in a low maintenance style that suits and find the right colour for you.

Health: Lots of water, healthy meals, portion control, small treat, shred DVD, Walk/jog/run at the weekends.

Clothes: well fitting slim blue jeans, well fitting bra, ditto breton tops, t-shirts, sandals or flipflops for summer, straight cut maxi skirt or dress, sunglasses and accessories to pull your look together

HandMini Tue 04-Jun-13 22:21:31

Frumping it up here as well, at 33 and four months after DD2 arrived. My stomach is baggy, my hips are vast and the worst thing is my skin which is just fucked from two years of less than optimal fucking terrible sleep.

This thread is great and I would love to hear more of how other people manage this, but for the record, here are my tips.

1. Drink water. Just stand at the kitchen sink and neck a glass of water. Every time you make a bottle, every time you rinse a tea cup, every time you wash your hands, every time you do anything.

2. Wash your face every night and morning, and occasionally use a handful of sugar in with your usual cleanser to exfoliate (or buy a posh exfoliation scrub thingy if money no object). I may be the skankiest person ever but I sometimes don't manage to wash face every night and morning, and it starts to show after a few days.

3. Get thee to Primark. (Or NL or DPs if you can't stomach Primark's approach to sweatshops). I just went in and bought three pairs of skinnies and three plain t shirts. At least now I have a uniform of sorts.

4. Don't experiment too much at this stage. Don't see a gorgeous woman in a maxi skirt and crazy topknot and think "right, maxi skirts and crazy top knots will change my life". Keep it basic. Really good fitting jeans, nice crisp white shirts.

5. Do the Shred. I've been doing it for about four weeks, NOT I hasten to add every day, but I am feeling the benefit and you can do it in less than half an hour at home. My toddler laughs in my face as I do crunches over the nappy changing mat. It's free on Youtube as well. Go on, perch your laptop precariously on a shelf and do it.

6. Bit if bronzer and/or blusher is way more lightening / lifting than a face of slap.

BabCNesbitt Tue 04-Jun-13 22:46:43

Handmini, I love that point about keeping it basic at this stage. I keep fretting that I'll never make it back to the level of stylishness I had before I got pregnant (not that I was super-stylish then, but I'm super-frumpy at the moment! blush ), but probably what I should be aiming for right now isn't 'incredibly cool' (I'll leave that for other women who can do that more instinctively, it seems) but 'reasonably presentable'.

Valdeeves Tue 04-Jun-13 22:53:08

Yes - I think you need some carbs if your Breast feeding! Just cut out sugar and you'll see a difference xx

IceNoSlice Wed 05-Jun-13 17:06:13

Some really good tips on here, thanks!

HandMini Wed 05-Jun-13 19:18:28

Thanks Bab - this thread inspired me today and I got changed half way through the day. Out of bootcut jeans and minging cardigan and into half decent fitted denim skirt and totally plain navy long sleeve. Quite "boring" but I added some cream beads and actually felt ok for the first time in ages. Didn't manage any hair or make up tho....tmrw.

fedupofnamechanging Wed 05-Jun-13 19:41:18

If you are near a Gap discount outlet, you can get some decent stuff for hardly any money. They are doing 40% off sale prices at the moment - I got some purple jeans for £8.99 last week.

Also M&S are doing a basic t shirt, which is quite long so covers the bum. it is scoop neck and has half sleeves and is shaped, without being tight. Again dirt cheap (£7.50, I think) and available in black/white and a nice pink. The other colours were a bit dodgy imo.

I think you should invest in a new feeding bra, because it really will help your shape.

DownyEmerald Wed 05-Jun-13 20:27:13

I totally lost my clothes mojo after baby, and it took me years, so you are doing well if it's only been months.

I'd totally lost touch with what people wear and why and there's just too much choice in the shops and online. What really helped me was following a few fashion blogs. Got me used to how to put things together, what are trends that I like and which I don't. Just to get an idea of an overall picture in my mind of what I could aim for. Try a few and see which stick. You're a decade younger than me so bearing that in mind!
Susie So So - I like her writing style and she's a jeans and tops kind of person, but she thinks about her jeans and tops.
School Gate Style.
Style Guile is a bit more spensy and she is very tucked in, but also good for getting an idea
There are loads, you just have to find ones you like. They usually all link to each other.

NumTumDeDum Wed 05-Jun-13 20:53:42

Up with the Frump revolution!!! I put in skinnies and a long sleeve blue top today but one which flatters and felt so much better. Have also finally listener to dp about leaving my hair down and I think he's right.

Saw the dreaded bootcut jeans and smock top today as I hung them out on the line. Momentarily I thought oh I'll keep them just in case. But just in case of what? Just in case I want to look frumpy again? I reached for the bin liners and started a charity shop pile. It felt really very cathartic.

NumTumDeDum Wed 05-Jun-13 20:54:58

Gah the typos I'm making today! Fat fingers + iphone.

HelgatheHairy Wed 05-Jun-13 21:09:13

Can I join the frump club please?

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and today ended up wearing one of DHs t-shirts IN PUBLIC!!!! It was the only thing that fit. Ended up desperation buying 2 maternity t-shirts I don't think really suit me and a dress as its REALLY hot here (south west Ireland)

I know there's not a lot I can do till PFB arrives but if I even managed to get a skin care routine in place it would help. DH has decided to try to get a bit healthier as well and is talking bout one or two low/no carb dinners a week - anyone know if that would be safe for me?

xTillyx Wed 05-Jun-13 21:28:27

I think if you're planning on losing weight you should start putting whatever you can to one side and save a little bit for new clothes in your final size. I'm a bit in between sizes at the minute so I've been wearing quite plain clothes like a long vest and jeggings but a nice pair of sandals brightens it up. Maybe give youself a 'uniform' for day to day wear such as plain tee, skinny jeans and blazer so you don't get stuck what to wear. If your hair,nails etc are nice you will feel loads better x

howiwonder Wed 05-Jun-13 22:03:42

drank 2 litres of water today thanks to this thread - havent stopped weeing all day!

NumTumDeDum Wed 05-Jun-13 22:26:36

I've had a lot of water today too, but I've had a headache all day, and I'm wondering if that's caffiene withdrawal as I normally drink tea. I don't think it can be a bad thing to cut down though.

ivanapoo Thu 06-Jun-13 09:10:20

Some great suggestions here. I couldn't sleep last night as kept thinking about how young I looked 10 years ago. Sob. Even 2 years ago I looked way less frumpy.

Anyway my advice is:

Stop wearing black. It does very few people any favours.

Wear more fitted stuff. Baggy clothes aren't flattering on anyone.

Charity shops are your friend. A lot of stuff in fashion at the mo is unflattering (crop tops, 90s revival, dungarees?).

If you want to de-frump, by on-trend accessories. I might get one of those giant statement necklaces to wear over plain tops.

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 10:00:24

Yes yes to charity shops. I bought a really nice Hobbs denim skirt last week and I do not even live in a naice area full of women emptying their spring/summer 2012 wardrobes into Oxfam. I wish.

Thanks for the Gap and MS tshirt tips. My other t shirt tip is don't expect them to last that long. Three or four mid price ones will see you through the summer, wear them under jumpers in winter, then chuck them. T-shirts have to be pretty fresh to look nice, even if they're expensive ones.

Lets start a frump club. Everyone must chuck out an item of clothing every week, including ratty knickers and bobbled PJs.

NumTumDeDum Thu 06-Jun-13 10:24:12

I've added tartan shirts and a massive white overshirt which makes me look pregnant to the charity shop pile. White looks rubbish on me, no idea why I kept it. The tartan shirts are rejects from my mum. I really think that ought to have told me something... Not much left in wardrobe now but I love this idea of a uniform of sorts until I lose the weight. I can totally see how that is going to help me reduce stress in the mornings getting dressed. And yes to the on trend accessories. My sister does this and always looks amazing. Mind you she has the budget and no children.

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 10:35:46

Right, my plan for shopping is this:

Things to buy with wild abandon, in crazy colours, from cheapo shops, to try and appease your inner hipster: Sandals, necklaces, scarves, earrings, lipsticks, belts, bags.

Things to buy from M&S or Gap or similar following careful consideration and only if the item fits well: jeans, tshirts, long line cardigans, all in plain colours and shapes.

Nothing more exciting than that. Once I have got the basics of jeans and tshirts sorted, I will venture on to more exciting dresses, skirts, shirts etc. I will report back if anyone's interested.

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 10:36:17

Well done Num, your local charity shop will love you.

NumTumDeDum Thu 06-Jun-13 10:43:51

Next problem is my bras. I put on a t I know suits my shape except that today it looks crap. The reason being that my boobs are about an inch and a half too low. Damn nursing bras. Are underwired nursing bras any cop? I don't want to waste money if they're not. I

hattyyellow Thu 06-Jun-13 10:45:21

Your outfit can be fairly simple if you have good haircut, nice bag that fits baby stuff in (accessorise do some fairly cheap but on trend ones) - my SIL introduced me to bag inserts for carrying nappy stuff as I always felt really frumpy with a big baby bag. They are a waterproof zip bag which goes inside a normal bag. Might be just me that had never heard of them!

Oh and I get my toenails pedicured and painted at my local salon and that works wonders (my one beauty expense). I always tell my hairdresser that my haircut needs to last and my pedicure lady that my nails need to last and she puts about 6 coats on! My last nail paint was last month and it's still intact!

Gap & H&M shirts I find work wonders with skinny jeans and flats. H&M do good, cheap straight legged trousers in cotton. Comfortable for running around after small children. I feel more pulled together in a cotton shirt than a long sleeved breton t-shirt as I still have a bit of a tummy 4 years on from last DC birth and the t-shirt tends to cling. Shirts have to be at least semi-fitted though, baggy ones I think can make you feel more frumpy.

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 10:47:05

Num, are you still in the midst of breastfeeding? Honest answer is don't spend a fortune trying to buy amazing nursing bras. Not worth it as they are (or should be) soft and not designed to mould or shape you, but just to support the nork close to its natural position/shape. Do you know / plan how long you will bf? Just wait till you're done, then buy lovely bras, as your bomb shape will prob change quite a bit anyway. Mine are way smaller having bf one baby for 8 months and another for 3 months.

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 10:48:41

Hatty, awesome tip on the haircut, I'm going to get mine done on Tues, hurray.

Where do you buy your shirts? Apart from the fact I have to iron them, I prefer shirts too.

xTillyx Thu 06-Jun-13 11:00:40

Sounds like you ladies are on the right track. I feel much better having a smaller but more wearable wardrobe. I only really go clothes shopping now to stock up my basics or if I need something for an event and its more enjoyable because I can focus on what I need.

Good luck updating your wardrobes, I think you'll enjoy it x

Laquila Thu 06-Jun-13 11:01:54

New Look skinny jeans are excellent (and I've tried zillions of pairs!), wash well, and are fairly cheap.

I would say try to only buy things that look as if they could feasibly be expensive. They don't have to BE expensive, but this is a rule that has served me well over the years. If you're unsure of fit, err on the side of caution and buy th bigger size. There's not much more unflattering than seeing someone squeezed into too-small clothing.

As a general rule, I find colours such as beiges, blues and greys are most flattering to the majority of colourings, and also easy to mix together without too much clashing. In my experience, bright or "artificial" colours rarely look expensive. Again, I find that more natural fabrics generally wash better and are more flattering - avoid pure nylon or polyester, but remember that a bit of Lycra can be a godsend!

I second the advice re comfortable, supportive bras - these will make a big difference to how you feel and look.

Paint your toenails, tidy up eyebrows (I tint mine every few weeks) and moisturise all over daily if poss (or use Palmers Body Oil in the bath or shower). Work out whether your face suits silver or gold jewellery better and buy a small pair of everyday earrings in that colour - I find small drop ones best - the right ones will help light up your face. Mine were little gold feathers from Oliver Bonas - £8 and they make such a difference!


hattyyellow Thu 06-Jun-13 11:02:49

Thanks handmini (have just chucked out some bobbled long sleeved tops in your honour!)

H&M are worth digging through to find good shirts. They feel enough on trend without feeling like mutton dressed as lamb (am 38). With straight/skinny jeans and trousers it's a fairly easy uniform! I went into their Oxford street branch last month and tried on a massive pile of shirts - check/dots/plain and found 3 that fitted really well - fitted at waist without being clingy..they brighten up skinny jeans without feeling over the top

As someone else said, worth looking in Gap as they permanently seem to have a sale, their fitted shirts are cotton and wear well..i have gap jeans too and would not live without them, they're often on special offer - plus in my opinion, gap are vanity sizing gone mad, i'm often a size 8 in jeans there and i'm certainly not anywhere else - i know their sizes are a bit crazy but it does make me feel better!

Laquila Thu 06-Jun-13 11:06:33

Just had another thought - I bought a half-price jersey blazer in Zara a few months ago and it has been soooo useful! It's cream/beige marl, but washes quite well, and I think marl fabrics tend not to show the dirt too badly anyway. It doesn't crease much and worn open with rolled-up sleeves it smartens anything up without actually looking formal. Recommended!

NumTumDeDum Thu 06-Jun-13 11:07:18

I am bf, but longing to wear clothes that don't require access. I have some nice sundresses but I can't wear them as I'd have to get undressed. I'm trying to get baby to take a bottle (without any success) because I have a friend's 30th birthday party coming up in July which requires an overnight stay. I very much doubt I'll be able to express enough and DP is very stressed at the prospect so I want ds to be happy to drink formula occasionally plus I really think I'd like to do away with bf now because he won't go to sleep unless it's on me and I would really like to be able to go out for more than two hours without worrying about feeding. Anyway, that's a whole other thread but effectively you've nailed what I was thinking, which was a trip to Bravissimo once he's stopped breadtfeeding and get two really good bras.

Startail Thu 06-Jun-13 11:17:20

If you Carry in BFing, ditch the nursing bras.

It's way easier just to push an ordinary non wired bra up out the way and flick it back than fight with ford evil clips.

After a year or so I just retuned to perfectly ordinary underwired ones, which just take a touch more practice to flick out the way.

DD2 hated underwired bras and used to tell me so, at great length. She wasn't keen, a) because she couldn't just turn any cuddle in to a feed and b) if I did let her feed she had to keep still and be sensible or the bra bonked her on the nose.

xTillyx Thu 06-Jun-13 11:24:55

I want that Zara blazer now it sounds perfect. I need a neutral one. I just got a jersey one from New Look in a blush/nude kind of pink. If anyone is interested they have it in a mint colour and navy.

IWillDoItInAMinute Thu 06-Jun-13 12:02:11

Frump club joiner

warning the shred is a killer!!!
Did it for 4 days, everyday something new ached!!
Then DC were ill and then away for half term and now hiding under duvet due to D&V and excessively MNetting grin

Continuing the badger theme - as rough as a badgers armpit

Laquila Thu 06-Jun-13 12:05:37

Tilly was it the unstructured, slightly textured one from New Look? I saw that in a green but knew it wouldn't quite suit me. Next have a nice one in grey and navy and I've seen a couple in BHS too. A jersey blazer is the kind of thing I used to look at and think, WHY would you buy that?!, but know I have one it all makes sense ;)

xTillyx Thu 06-Jun-13 13:43:03

Yes that one! Hehe I know I used to think they're horrible but the smarter ones don't look right on me x

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 14:43:32

This one? http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/jackets-and-coats/shell-pink-roll-sleeve-jersey-blazer_282404872. Lovely.

Right, I'm already breaking my shopping rule above...must get the basics right first.

NumTumDeDum Thu 06-Jun-13 14:48:41

Just been to New Look again. Their basic t's are no good for me. Also, I'm not sure skinnies work either. All the current shapes are for thin teenagers. What happened to darts?! There is no catering for boobs! Given up on New Look for now. Will have to go into the city for other shops. Too hot today.

Laquila Thu 06-Jun-13 14:51:22

Ahhh I feel your pain. I like NL skinnies because they're not drainpipes - more like slim straight-legs. But if you feel you suit bootcut better and are mre comfortable in them then definitely stick with them.

I find M&S best for vests and t-shirts (the former often from the underwear section - their supima ribbed cotton scoop neck vests are brilliant).

issimma Thu 06-Jun-13 14:58:04

Bobbly skinnies and a too-small winter jacket are in the charity bag.

howiwonder Thu 06-Jun-13 15:29:41

oh no numtum, ive been planning a new look trip myself, had high hopes after looking at the website. thin teenager i aint....

how I'm a size 18 in jeans and NL ones fit me perfectly and are not too tight and/or baggy

howiwonder Thu 06-Jun-13 15:49:17

thanks will definitely go and have a look, really need some jeans. also all this talk of blazers has made me fall a bit in love with this one

HelgatheHairy Thu 06-Jun-13 16:02:17

I've now filled a big bag of clothes to go to charity shop tomorrow. Mix of things I've never worn, will not wear again or just worn to death.

So for the next 9 weeks I'm living in 2 pairs jeans, 2 yoga pants, 3 t-shirts (unless I borrow more from DH!), 1 hoody and 1 dress. Eeek!

TSSDNCOP Thu 06-Jun-13 17:07:22

Gap have 3 t shirts for price of 2. Miles better than M&S for colour.

I find long line cards the frumpiest of all. Oaisis have got some lovely colours which look fab over the Gap t shirts.

Next for cheap good shape skinnies, and cropped chinos.

Flip flops with coral or red toes.

NumTumDeDum Thu 06-Jun-13 17:07:29

I've now extended my charity bag to accesories. Amazing how many crap belts, scarves, necklaces and bags have built up. Plus I found some jewellery that is good enough to ebay but not my taste. And I've ditched my mum boots. You know the kind - black ankleboots with a small heel. Bleurgh.

issimma Thu 06-Jun-13 19:19:54

Wow, you're on a roll. I'm actually ok with clothes - need more Ts but they just end up milky right now. My problem is hair, skin and nails. All knackered from hormones and lack of sleep, and lack of time for maintenance. Oh, and huge tummy, as revealed by trying on a stripy sundress in new look...

issimma Thu 06-Jun-13 19:20:33

Thanks for the GAP tip - there's 7% cashback right now with quidco too.

HandMini Thu 06-Jun-13 19:26:48

Num, I'm so proud of you re the boots! Have your bootcut jeans gone as well?!

IceNoSlice Thu 06-Jun-13 21:35:40

Loving this fred. My name is Ice and I am an ex-frump.

I'm de-frumped. A combo of post baby weight loss, 10 months of not wearing a suit every week day, getting into mumsnet plus a bit of time to think. I didn't realise quite how bad it was! So now the worst of the frump clothes are gone, I am onto level 3 of the shred (and loving MyFitnessPal too) and life is looking rosier.

There are two reasons I need this thread:

1. I fear the Frump tendency is in me and always will be. I need constant vigilance or I will slip into old ways.
2. I now own hardly any clothes, so I need to plan a new wardrobe. I own one pair of jeans and no other trousers. Tis a nice place to be but I'm a little daunted by the task!

Chelvis Thu 06-Jun-13 22:19:27

Another frump here sad I've had the same hairstyle and makeup for 10 years, I am 3 stones overweight, and I recently wore IN PUBLIC some of my MIL's hand-me-downs because I can't get into my own clothes post baby. I'm 29 FFS! So as of tomorrow, I'm off to buy some new look skinny jeans and I'm starting the shred - just watched it on Youtube (does that count as day 1???!!).

Good luck NumTum and all the other frumps, please keep on with the tips for de frumping - I for one really need them!

NumTumDeDum Thu 06-Jun-13 23:08:05

Welcome all new frumps. <waves to all frumps>

Status of bootcut jeans - debating keeping them for gardening. They are resting on top of the charity pile at the moment. Possibly may need a push, or maybe I should watch the cheese video again. Oh god no. I can't face it. Right talked myself into dumping them.

Have identified a further issue. I do not have a full length mirror. All I can see in my mirror is my shoulders and head. Can't help but feel the frump would have been identified a little earlier had I not just been guessing at what I look like. Debating a little trip to Ikea tomorrow to rectify that issue.

ivanapoo Thu 06-Jun-13 23:11:30

Do you think we should have some kind of Frump Confidential where we can post pics of our outfits and others can help us defrumpify them?

Startail Fri 07-Jun-13 00:48:05

Mum boots and mid calf summer dresses stay. Frumpy they may be, but I can only wear, boots, trainers or sandals. court shoes of any sort hurt.

Dresses stay as they are cotton, cool and comfy. I m 45 and I don't have the legs for short short or the hight for a maxi dress.

If any one has seen any trousers like these [http://www.whitestuff.com/jeans-dept1000013_pg1/ white stuff ocean jeans]] with a £30 or less lable I will love you

Startail Fri 07-Jun-13 00:50:00

Sorry, Don't buy a kindle fire it's text editing is awful
white stuff ocean jeans

KeatsiePie Fri 07-Jun-13 03:24:03

Hmm. For those of you who did the shred, I was just looking at it online and thought I would start it, but did you do it in front of a mirror? I feel like I won't be able to tell if my legs are at 90 degrees or whatever unless I can see them. On the other hand I'm not at all sure I want to watch myself trying to do it, plus would have to unscrew the mirror from the wall every day and then I suppose put it back.

IceNoSlice Fri 07-Jun-13 06:58:37

I don't do it in front of a mirror but I can see where you're coming from. But there is not much of it like that. I'd give it a bash if I were you, and see how you feel about needing a mirror then. DO NOT use lack of mirror as an excuse!

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 07:15:09

No, it's ok without mirror and I am v uncoordinated. Although its fast its repetitive so you get lots of practice at getting yourself into the right position etc.

KeatsiePie Fri 07-Jun-13 07:38:40

Handi that's nice to hear, I didn't think about the repetitions, was only worried about the speed. Ice you're right, I can't think myself out of trying it! I think I will just go ahead.

I did also find a set of v. short videos like this that explain how the positions work so might just go through them if I have a hard time. Have never really done anything but yoga before. But I have the 30-day shred bookmarked on youtube to start day 1 later!

NumTum I think a full-length mirror is a really good thing to have for noticing what works on me now vs. when I was younger. I tend to default to 90s fashions and have to sort of work my way out of there pretty often, which requires a mirror.

Chandon Fri 07-Jun-13 08:36:59

The thing is it can all be so confusing.

Like, yesterday I was wearing a Mint Velvet tunic with skinnies, I thought it looked nice when I looked in the mirror. Then at the station I got chatted up by a young guy ( 20s?) haven't I met you before? Wanno go clubbing on Friday ( I was so stunned I did not know what to say, am 41!).

Then later that evening a friend took some pics of me and put on facebook.... I look like a sack of potatoes! Fat, old and frumpy.

So is this outfit a winner or a loser....

How do I know?

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 08:37:52

I too need a full length mirror.

I'm v impressed by all those that fit in pedi every six weeks or so. I'm going to make that my mission. I think I'd feel way better about summer sandals that way.

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 08:48:20

Chandon - I don't think photos - a millisecond in time - are accurate. If you looked in a mirror and felt good, you looked good. In a mirror your face is mobile, clothes flowing, that's how you REALLY look to others.

Got dressed in 15 secs this morn - literally as DDs pick up arriving and had no time for shower or anything. BUT, denim skirt and white tshirt and I don't actually feel terrible. A week ago I would have been scrabbling round for something "interesting".

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 08:49:01

PS - what is the BIWI low carb diet? Sounds like sth I need to try. I love eggs and cheese and meat!

Chandon Fri 07-Jun-13 09:17:04

Haha, I had to get dressed in 15 secs, and grabbed jeans skirt ( shortish) and a fitted white tee...this morning

Good standby items

I think everybody needs to work out a few acceptable in-a-hurry choices that are not frumpy. You cannot think anout how you look every day ( well I don't)

JaxTellerIsAllMine Fri 07-Jun-13 09:20:33

get yourself to Matalan - I got their straight leg jeans and they are so forgiving, make you look amazing actually. And the best bit £12 a pair!

Where are you in the world? Have you got any friends who would know what colours, styles would work on your shape?

howiwonder Fri 07-Jun-13 12:19:46

mini shopping spree in new look done! 2 t shirts at a fiver each, 2xjeans/jeggings at 9.99 each. think im doing this the wrong way round though as havent actually done the clearing out of frump clothes yet...

cardamomginger Fri 07-Jun-13 12:37:18

Joining too. I am a summer frump. I do cool/cold weather really well, but fall down when it comes to summer clothes. I went to Levi's a few weeks back and got fitted with their fit-to-curve jeans. They are fab and my legs and arse look amazing in them. But sometimes it's too hot for jeans, or they are in the wash, or I think I'd like a change.

Don't know what I am doing wrong, but everyone seems to waft and look effortlessly chic where I live. Whilst I look rumpled and messy. Material never wafts with me, it just seems to bunch and ride up. And I glow blue in direct sunlight, which doesn't help the overall picture.

Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong with cotton (or at any rate thinner material) skirts? Anything that's shorter than maxi length ends up riding up and forming a bunch in between my legs.

hinkyhonk Fri 07-Jun-13 13:46:07

This is totally what I thought yesterday. Nominally back to pre many weight after DS2 but still wobbly - must fig out the shreds again.

But mostly its my clothes and bras (and skin). Have started drinking 2l of water a day but got a massive headache for the first few days. Lack of caffeine? Still that should at least help my skin right?

I wear the same pair of straight ish jeans all the time and yesterday I wore a lovely smock type top which in my mind is wafty and cool but actually just makes me look fat.

DH has been wittering about how I don't look my best in it but its my go to when I've eaten too much of the kids tea and am trying to hide it.

Well no more I tell you! First step was more water, next is getting back on the shred then smocks are being binned, new bras shopped for and the cull begins....

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 14:09:21

Cull before shopping. You must end up with fewer (but better) items.

primallass Fri 07-Jun-13 14:23:40

Startail I posted a link to cropped jeans on the summer trousers thread. Similar-ish to the Whitestuff ones but a bit shorter. Very generously sized.


Laquila Fri 07-Jun-13 14:27:28

I would say that as a general rule, gently fitted items with some stretch in them are more flattering than wafty smock type things. This isn't always the case, although I do think that if you're wearing a wafty smock type thing then it will look best with slim, fitted trousers/jeans rather than wider-legged trews.

And vice versa - if I'm wearing a very fitted too I would probably wear it with a maxi skirt, linen trousers, boyfriend-type shorts or similar, rather than with super-skintight fitted trousers.

I do agree that a full-length mirror is a must, and also TOTALLY agree with HandMini's point re photos not being an accurate representation of how one really looks!

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 14:37:58

What the F can I do about shorts? I need some as (a) it's getting hotter please please please don't go away yet sun and (b) I spend all my time crawling round on floor with toddler / changing baby and so I flash my pants if I wear a skirt other than a maxi.

NumTumDeDum Fri 07-Jun-13 14:53:39

Shorts are an issue for me too. I have big hips and risk looking boxy. Haven't yet found the answer.

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 14:59:20

I have wide hips too. I feel like a barge on a canal as I squeeze through shop aisles.

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 15:03:08

Just painted my toenails blood red. I love Rimmel 60 seconds.

SorrelForbes Fri 07-Jun-13 15:16:33

Visit the bra threads for some good info on nursing bras and measuring/fitting.

howiwonder Fri 07-Jun-13 15:49:26

bought a rimmel 60 secs myself today Handmini - went for coral though on the advice of previous posters.

feeling a bit deflated after trying on the clothes i bought today in the harsh, truthful environment of my own bedroom. unfortunately i do have a full length mirror...

although everything i bought is nice and fits well, nothing hides the big loose muffin top that glares out from above the waistband. i never really used to have this but 2 kids later and its my worst enemy. i suppose thats why i too have favoured smock tops as i figure that look is preferable to a big spare tyre on show (which it it with anything fitted). i even bought special high waisted jeans but they just seem to push the bloody muffin top higher up!

will this just decrease with weight loss? any ideas how to blitz this area/dress to hide it without resorting to smock hell?

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 16:32:14

Ooh, if the coral is nice pls can you tell me what name/number it is....am going to treat myself to another 60 secs this weekend as my reward for three solid days of baby/toddler/visitors.

I have a muffin top as well, and there is no ideal situation other than losing it (which is my intention at some point) but until then, i plan to slightly display the muffin in fitted, but not too tight clothes, rather than just wear smocks/free flow fabrics over it. I think that's the lesser of two evils.

mignonette Fri 07-Jun-13 16:46:25

Go to your local college with a hairstyling and beauty therapy department. You can get excellent treatments and cuts for an absolute steal. The students are all supervised and are allocated according to their skill levels. You can feel a million dollars with a new cut and a facial/pedi/mani.

Buy some new make up, especially a good cream blusher (good for summer) some mascara and a summer lipstick shade. it need not be expensive. Look for 'buy one item, get another with it' deals run by Rimmel, Boots 17/7 etc...A complexion enhancer be it a CC cream or facial balm can help lift grey sleep deprived complexions.

Go to TK Maxx, leave the kids with a sitter and try on clothes that perhaps you'd not considered before. and if you like some, they will not break the budget.

Invest in really good underwear-proper pants that do not cut in or give VPL and a proper supportive bra. Go 1940-50's for old fashioned glamour.

Do your nails, buy a nicely cut and fitted white V neck T-the white can lift your complexion. Or get a vibrant shade that will go with a lot of items such as dark red, deep orange, blues or pinks.Worn with a fitted blazer/jacket and a (new) pair of straight leg jeans/trousers and an inexpensive pair of flat/thong/block heel sandals, you'll feel more pulled together. the blazer will look good with all manner of skirts, pants, city shorts and even dresses.

Go to New Look for disposable trend led items or Vera Moda for more classic interpretations of trends. Asda have a good cotton stretch jersey blazer for around £14. No pockets but still a good buy.

Check out the sale sites Cocosa.com, Theoutnet.com, BrandAlley for secondhand designer. Don't be put off by some of the high prices on there. You can pick up excellent jeans and trousers for high st prices and they'll last and make you feel cool too.

Oh and Bootcuts? They're on their way back. Don't chuck for now.

mignonette Fri 07-Jun-13 16:48:02

A good well made T shirt worn with a blazer over it will hide that muffin better then puffy baggy smock tops.

Also check your posture. Wearing a little heel will help you stand taller and sassier too.

mignonette Fri 07-Jun-13 16:52:16

And as Jax says- Get thee to Matalan. They have some gorgeous dresses, a little wafty to disguise that mid section you are conscious of. They also have some lovely silky tea dress styles in navy print. Very now.

Also I bought several of their thick cotton stretch tube/pencil/straight pull on skirts. They hold everything in, are streamlined and come in plain colours-black, grey marl, navy plus stripe, geometric print and olive green. They will look good, again with slouchy or fitted tops and tees and a blazer. Add any kind of sandal, pump or heel and they'll work with all kinds of clothes you already have. Long line sleek cardigans are another option.

ChasingStaplers Fri 07-Jun-13 17:06:23

Sorry if I'm repeating anything - haven't read the whole thread.
I am by no means stylish but I recently had a revelation, like you.
I have been to work today (where they are used to seeing a polished, professional pregnant version of me) for the first time since Ds2 was born 5 months ago. It was an important networking event so I couldn't afford to go looking a mess.
Usually I look like shit.
Skinny jeans and baggyish top (to hide huge boobs and baby belly) and brown boots.

The S & B threads on here have been amazing and I have managed to salvage something without losing lots of weight.

First of all I worked out what 'season' and 'colour' I am:


And my body shape.

And I've resolved to buy a few key, good quality pieces and build a wardrobe around them.

I also went for a skincare consultation (free one) as my skin is terrible now. I invested in new cleanser/toner and moisturiser and some new make up (and got loads of freebies too)

Yesterday I dyed my hair (to get rid of the greys), had my eyebrows threaded and had my hair cut. I filed my nails, used a whitening pencil under the tips and used a creamy/clear polish.
I also went to the dentist and had my teeth cleaned.

Today I look like a new person!
Honestly, people didn't recognise me. (A good thing, definitely!) smile

Just knowing my colours has changed the way I shop. I went in and immediately knew what would suit me and what wouldn't, which shortened the process and meant I haven't bought a load of stuff I won't wear.

If I can do it you can as I am really crap at shopping/style/etc.

My next phase is the shred which is still in its wrapper from when DS2 was 8 weeks old which will hopefully make things even better.

howiwonder Fri 07-Jun-13 17:26:11

just been on the matalan website mignonette thanks - i really like the pencil skirts you mentioned, and only a tenner too, if im looking at the right ones? will be near a matalan next week so will try to run in and grab one.

Handmini the Rimmel is no 200 - called 'orange your life' - its what i would call coral anyway, i think its lovely smile

Chandon Fri 07-Jun-13 17:27:28

I can make my muffin top invisible by wearing quite loose fitting non VPL knickers, and a fit and flare dress. Nothing gets pushed up and out that way, IYSWIM.

It looks much better than any jeans and any top! Dresses can be the way to go, they are for me. Just bought a gorgeous LK Bennett jersey dress on e bay.

rootypig Fri 07-Jun-13 19:28:33

NumTum re shorts, have you ever tried denim ones that are close fitting but end just above the knee, cuffed ones are good. Do you know what I mean? They work well for the pear / hour glasses I know because you're not putting a band of denim around your widest point, iyswim. Below the knee also good if you don't like your knees (but stay out of 3/4 territory).

I have to sound a note of dissent re cheap jeans, I would say get a decent pair, it's hard when you want to lose weight, but I find that saying you'll wait til you've lost it to buy lovely things that make you feel good means you just don't lose the weight. It's funny.

Was wondering about your hair - what is your natural colour? am a big believer that most people look better close to their natural shade, so I would let it grow out if I were you. will also help with the condition.

I am trying to absorb lots of other good advice here! water I am crap at to busy eating galaxy

rootypig Fri 07-Jun-13 19:28:55

*darkish denim for the shorts

newbiebaby Fri 07-Jun-13 19:34:47

I LOVE this thread as a result of lurking I was called a yummy mummy today smile thanks all!

Christabel3 Fri 07-Jun-13 19:37:01

I agree with the second response. 30 ds!. I'm not high maintenance (nails, tan, roots, none of that!) but I do not let my weight go over nine stone (which for me is a bmi 22.5?) and I hope (?) that my hair is flattering. I buy fewer clothes these days. I never shop as an activity. I only buy things if I'm certain that they suit.

I have almost a decade on you and I don't feel frumpy so it's not hopeless! you can turn it round. Actually, the frumpiest I ever felt was at 35 when I had a baby and a toddler. Janey mackers..... So glad I'm in my forties with children who can cycle round the block and fix their own snacks! lol

NumTumDeDum Fri 07-Jun-13 19:38:29

Rooty, I see what you mean about shorts to the knee. I can see that working. The temptation to wear short ones is there because my legs are thin but although I'm an hour glass I'm so bulky round the middle that I look apple shaped. The advice about dresses is good, but I can't try that til I've stopped bf.

mignonette Fri 07-Jun-13 19:49:20

Yes, those are the pencil skirts I meant.

Try a shirt dress (very fashionable at moment) button through with a loose cami or vest top underneath. I BF two babies wearing these and it can be done discreetly, especially with all these gorgeous scarves about at the moment.

rootypig Fri 07-Jun-13 19:55:34

yy my mum has great legs and wideish hips and she wears shorts this way - makes her pins look even more lovely and doesn't distort the hip area. you could also try an above the knee slightly A line skirt?

I know you've said budget is minimal but I would go for a few pieces you love from Zara, COS, H&M (who sometimes have stellar fabrics), Whistles, and build from there. A few things in neutral but possibly unexpected fabrics, will feel more luxe eg dark denim shorts, perfect leather skirt (current obsession), then mix with cheaper stuff.

A fab jacket is actually a good place to start, because you can wear it with everything and then you feel marvellous all the time grin

Sorry, I luff threads like this!

mignonette Fri 07-Jun-13 20:01:37

Posted too soon.....RE scarves, New Look have some fantastic prints and styles priced from £6 upwards. One or two scarves worn with fairly classic separates or a plain dress can really uplift your look. Google scarf knotting tutorials online for a myriad of different ways to wear it and invest in hotter weather scarf and one for early mornings, late evenings out and transitional weather.

And re hair, if a fringe suits you and your hairstyle consider getting one cut. They really do knock years off of one. Or learn a few simple braid techniques. Plaiting damp hair overnight if it is shoulder length+ also gives a youthful beachy look for summer when unplaited and shook out the next morning.

Use a glossy moisturiser to keep skin as supple as possible-essential when BFing sucks all the zip out of you. Spending 2 minutes slapping scented moisturiser etc can give you a bit more confidence.

And has DH upped his game since having the baby? I'm sure he means it kindly and is trying to support and encourage you but I hope his comments don't have a negative effect upon you. I think even the most supportive of men still have no real idea of just how much our confidence and vision of our womanly selves as something other than a life support system for children takes a battering from pregnancy and post pregnancy.

issimma Fri 07-Jun-13 20:35:32

Am thinking of embracing dresses for the summer. Do you think either/both of these will disguise a postnatal muffin?
dress 1

dress 2

To be worn with tan or snakeskin flat sandals.

Looking for a crossbody leather bag and a denim jacket suitable for lanky people... Links this way...

Toenails are Nails inc Shoreditch (hot pink, free w glamour ages ago). About to do very basic home mani. Thanks for the inspiration fellow frumpsters (am sure you're not really!).

HandMini Fri 07-Jun-13 20:39:52

Issima both those dresses look as though they COULD be nice shapes. I would play it safe and get them in darker colours, then brighten them up with scarf / bag / sandals.

issimma Fri 07-Jun-13 20:42:07

I would def avoid the patterned ones, forgot to say.

newbiebaby Fri 07-Jun-13 21:12:52

Issima I have the jersey dress v easy to wear and flattering

mignonette Fri 07-Jun-13 23:14:26


The pink cotton slub will hang better IMO. Jersey can cling especially during hot weather and a jersey empire line can cling to the muffin and make it look like a pregnancy if the proportions are out. I like both dresses but the cotton slub has more structure. Like the pink with a tan shoe and denim. Very city day wear. If both colours are in the cool spectrum, then a cool pale yellow can look fantastic with pink. Unexpected but true and also not commonly seen. Pale Ice Blue also looks good as does Indigo hence the denim.

KeatsiePie Sat 08-Jun-13 01:18:46

I also think jersey might cling too much. But they are great dresses and the waistlines seem good. Is polyester not better as it won't cling? H&M has some nice dresses right now that are not too flowy but would move well, I would think.

Chasing am so impressed by everything you've done. I just did the color site, which was fun.

And I really have to do the shred sometime tonight. It will be my first day. I know I can't procrastinate on it.

Arseface Sat 08-Jun-13 02:42:22

Bfing in dresses:

Stretchy v/cowl/ scoop neck - the Boden ones Issima linked to would be great, you basically need to be able to get your boob out of the neckline. Thin vest or cami underneath dress.
Dress neckline goes down, cami/vest goes up and over cleavage and baby. You can add a scarf for extra coverage/swishness, should you have time for such fripperies.

Much easier for hurried dressing as it's just one item and no need to pair separates. Infinitely more flattering over post baby wobbly bits and you'll feel less frumpy.
I put short leggings on underneath for baby groups/toddler stuff to avoid flashing.
Plain colours and thicker fabrics with a bit of structure look pulled together, patterns with more drape are more relaxed but hide a multitude of splats!
I'm 5'5", appley and boobs are currently 30G (so not a svelte young thing that can covertly slip a nipple out of a t-shirt).

Hugely shallow, but the prospect of vest, loose top & jeans combo ad infinitum would never have seen me bf my DCs to toddlerhood!

MummaBubba123 Sat 08-Jun-13 07:06:21

6 months.
You're doing brilliantly to be able to fit into ANY jeans.
We are like butterflies. You're still almost in chrysalis stage.
I joined Slimming World and shop carefully at Sainsbury's and TK Maxx. Always wear (for an hour or so)to show a friend whose style you admire.
Keep labels on. Take back if its not who you want to be.
I lost weight and now can't close my wardrobe. Shopping addict.

newbiebaby Sat 08-Jun-13 08:28:22

On the boden dress topic the jersey is quite a thick jersey hides my muffin; )

newbiebaby Sat 08-Jun-13 08:29:12

Gel nails -led lamp is fab and cheaper than salons

HandMini Sat 08-Jun-13 09:07:47

Keatsie - did you Shred?

I'm doing badly today - not one item of my outfit makes me feel / look nice.

MangoJuiceAddict Sat 08-Jun-13 10:32:03

I cannot recommend maxi dresses enough! They are so flattering and are suitable for all budgets, everywhere from Primark to Prada seems to stock them.
A classic black maxi dress with sandals and bangles is always good smile. Also, natural but will applied make-up is great: a good foundation, blusher, lipstick and mascara will take years off you. What's your budget for make-up?

KeatsiePie Sat 08-Jun-13 11:29:13

Hand no, I didn't. I'm so irritated with myself. I had a lot to get done before the weekend but really I just allowed myself to not do it. I'm going to do it this evening. I did get my old yoga mat out in preparation, which seriously has not been used in 10 years.

I know that feeling of all the clothes being unflattering. I had that going on too but blamed it on not Shredding so as to motivate myself. (But why are there no long t-shirts anywhere? Who decided that all my t-shirts should expose my jeans button? The jeans are from Old Navy, I have no need to flaunt the insignia.) Sorry you're feeling out of sorts. Oh -- one thing I find refreshing as I'm trying to drink a lot more water, which you mentioned -- I heat water in the electric kettle and then just drink a mug of hot water. It's somehow nicer and feels more cleansing and soothing than yet another glass of tap water.

HandMini Sat 08-Jun-13 11:55:17

Might try hot water. My grandma used to drink it as her beverage of choice....I think it had something to do with the war years / rationing still being ingrained in her!

HandMini Sat 08-Jun-13 11:56:03

Oh and DD2 has just thrown up on my frumpy outfit which will force me to change. About to go and put on plain black maxi dress.

KeatsiePie Sat 08-Jun-13 12:02:35

The hot water is really nice. I've started drinking it when I first get up, it makes me feel like I'm starting the day cleanly, helps me pay more attention to how I feel and what I really want to eat (am cutting out most gluten for the month to see if it helps with energy levels, figure if nothing else it will cut down on carb intake).

KeatsiePie Sat 08-Jun-13 12:03:12

Ugh. But suppose you should thank your DD for getting you out of a bad outfit grin

HandMini Sat 08-Jun-13 12:46:31

Keats, I actually am really pleased she did it! Tho obv sad for her - she's a poorly pudding today.

NumTumDeDum Sat 08-Jun-13 14:46:47

Am desperately trying to get my washing done. I've got rid of do much stuff I'm down to three pairs of jeans and a few t shirts. Off to peacocks later to try on the knee length shorts without dd in tow. She keeps hiding under the clothes racks, it's exhausting.

FilthyCar Sat 08-Jun-13 18:56:33

I have read this thread with interest!

I was feeling like a total frump until recently. I've been in a bit of a frump rut for a couple of years really. I think the main cause of me feeling that way was that I'd put on weight (2 stone ish). Also I felt really fed up with my hair. It's quite wavy, and straightening it just made it thin, limp and frizzy, but unstraightened it looked awful too, so I ended up wearing it up most of the time (and looking mumsy and frumpy as it just doesnt' suit me up)

So I did two things. Firstly I dug out some Davina McCall DVDs I'd had for ages and started working out every day for a month or so, then dropped down to every other day. This has made a massive difference to me and how I feel. I really feel like I'm getting my body back! I haven't weighed myself but I think I am losing weight as clothes are hanging off me, and I am getting to the stage where if I catch sight of myself in the mirror in my undies I'm thinking 'Is that really my body?'. It's brilliant! I'd definitely recommend the Davina DVDs. Superbody is particularly good!

Also, on the recommendation of a friend I ditched the straighteners and got a Babyliss Big Hair styling brush, and, again, wow! It makes my hair look fantastic and people actually come up to me and say they love my hair! Three months ago I hated my hair! It makes it all bouncy, and wavy, and big, with no frizz!

Now my body is more to my liking I've found my interest in clothes has returned, and I have bought a few bits; I've got a few dresses for summer, which I am wearing on cooler days too, with leggings. Also skinny jeans and vest tops just seem to look better now I am slimmer and my arms are more toned.

HelgatheHairy Sat 08-Jun-13 19:56:18

I actually wore a dress in public today. And thought I looked good! It was a desperation buy from earlier in the week because its soooo hot but actually seemed to work well. this one. Had no suitable shoes though so ended up in my black fitflops which didn't really work but it was so hot I had nothing else to wear.

hinkyhonk Sat 08-Jun-13 22:51:23

Operation defrump has begun. Shredded yesterday, measured for new bra today, cull tomorrow.

Today tried to put something interesting on and looked crap so took advice and went for blue jeans, black vest and cardi with gold ballet pumps with statement necklace Didn't feel I set the world on fire but didn't also feel crap. A win today I think.

KeatsiePie Sun 09-Jun-13 00:06:58

Helga that's a lovely dress! I really like the print and the cut. Shoes are a whole other thing though right? I don't have any summer shoes I like at all, so black flip flops complete all my outfits too. Shoes are so expensive and I can't figure out what kind of flat-heeled sandal would go well with jeans and also skirts.

Do you all think the long shorts look good on tall people with long too-skinny legs? I look like a stork in all shorts, and usually wear knee-length skirts.

issimma Sun 09-Jun-13 09:00:23

This weather is doing my head in! Order for summer dresses cancelled; off to stock up on Jeans + Ts + Blazer!

HandMini Sun 09-Jun-13 18:36:18

blue jeans, black vest and cardi with gold ballet pumps with statement necklace

This is perfect.

This is defrumping 101.

If all of these things fit nicely and look to be if decent quality you will have looked FAB.

hinkyhonk Sun 09-Jun-13 19:51:51

Aw thanks blush

Felt a bit boring but then again I didn't feel crap.

Beginnings of the cull today and three smock tops have hit the deck together with some dubious ancient t shirts. Jeans and trousers next up for the chop.

HandMini Sun 09-Jun-13 19:57:18

I chucked out a sundress that looks nice at the top/shoulders but makes my hips look 10 feet wide.

issimma Sun 09-Jun-13 20:46:06

I bought some new clothes grin.
I need to return some as they're all navy hmm.
And I want some navy converse.

I need to branch out...

howiwonder Sun 09-Jun-13 20:51:09

4 bags ready for charideee...!! hurray!!

this de frumping is timely actually as we are moving house at the end of the month so need to clear out anyway.
have bagged up quite a few items that ive had for years, i liked them but have never ever worn - this is the right thing to do, yes?

NumTumDeDum Sun 09-Jun-13 23:35:56

Totally the right thing Howiwonder. Added to my pile a pair of hipster Jane Norman jeans that only ever looked good on me in the fitting room ... 8 years ago. I have never even worn them. I couldn't if I wanted to now of course.

Bit of a bad day for me today, not feeling at all good, ds has been very demanding and we had other parents over with babies same age. Felt uncomfortable in what I had on - black linen trousers, vest and flipflips and they looked chic, relaxed and very together. Also wasn't able to sort grooming this morning as planned, dd meltdown = no time to do anything but brush hair. I have ragged nails from digging the garden and raggy sore cuticles. My toenail polish had only a first coat from last week which is all I had time to so before getting distracted and was all chipped. Felt a total mess.

Also checked bank account and I have £0 until next week so no new clothes.

HandMini Mon 10-Jun-13 08:33:41

Num, it's a good thing you have no cash this week as can fully concentrate on the nail situation: today trim and clean off ratty nail varnish, tomorrow massage lots of oil /cream into hands and cuticles, Wed/Thu lash on a few coat of varnish and if you have it top coat. All ready for the weekend.

PS linen trousers are really really difficult - I have never found a good pair - either too baggy or horrible tight bottomed. Have you found a good pair or should these be chucked???

issimma Mon 10-Jun-13 11:32:44

I hate that feeling numtum and know it only too well!!
Can you keep the defrumping going by doing what handmini advises (I'll be doing the same!) and also by doing one beauty thing per evening - so eyebrows tonight, pedi tues, face mask weds, etc?

I made an effort to straighten my hair. The June gales and rain made that task completely pointless, so am off out in my frazzled state with young companion to return all the clothes I bought yesterday hmm.

shoeprincess2 Mon 10-Jun-13 12:59:27

Hola! I'm de-lurking. I am currently residing in frumpsville. DS1 is 2.9 and incredibly demanding at the moment and DS2 is 9 mths. My body has been ravaged by BFing and I seem to have lost my way in the style stakes. I turn 37 on Friday and feel like having a one person pity party. DP and 1 went out for a meal on Saturday and all the women there just looked so pretty and glam and I felt like crying. I do not need to lose weight- I am tall and slim, but just feel frumpy and that nothing suits me. I look in the mirror and just look s***. Anyway, operation defrump needs to commence!

NumTumDeDum Mon 10-Jun-13 17:15:59

Shoeprincess I've a vision of you de cloaking like a klingon warship. Wow I'm a geek.

Today I have gone through my toiletries and cosmetics. Anything older than a year has been dumped - reason being that it will be either full of bacteria or past its best. I vaguely remember Kim amd Aggie doing tests on a mascara someonr had and it was full of bacteria including conjunctivitus. Nice thought eh. Most of my nail polishes were separated and dry so that made choosing those easy. Have kept my favourite ruby red and two neutrals, the rest have gone. For some reason I had loads of fuscias, horrible colour on me.

I've also dumped all the little sample sachets for things hanging around that I'm never going to use. Amazing how much more space I have in my drawer now. Also going are my cosmetics/toiletry bags. I don't like any of them, they've accrued from christmas presents- you know the kind that come wrapped up with really cheap nasty toiletries specially packed for christmas.

HandMini Tue 11-Jun-13 09:06:52

Shoeprincess - hug for your birthday, and sorry you felt sub par - I've had that feeling too of looking round a pub/restaurant and feeling frumpy. It's rubbish. I usually have another glass of wine and try to be more witty pissed than usual!

Right, in the last two days I have plucked my eyebrows (bit wonky, but neater) and straightened my hair (the cut is still shit but at least it looks smooth). I've also taken off my ragged nail varnish on my finger nails and trimmed nails. Haven't managed to re-varnish yet, but I reckon that's all I can manage for now!

Rain and greyness not improving my de-frump motivation.

HandMini Tue 11-Jun-13 09:07:29

Num, SUCH a good idea. I have hundreds of mini shampoo bottles!

NumTumDeDum Tue 11-Jun-13 13:50:43

Shoeprincess, what have you got planned for your birthday? Will you be getting money/vouchers possibly? Perhaps you could try the personal shopper at Debenhams/House of Fraser? I'd love to try that, but requires cash first so I can actually purchse something.

Handmini, good going on the nails. I found cuticle oil and cuticle remover during my rummage- didn't realise I had them so that's saved me duplicating. Need nail polish remover and then I'm doing a home pedi and manicure aided by the power of You Tube.

In terms of hair, I'm with you on the not being able to get it cut yet. I've been trying to teach myself to french plait my own hair. I've just about got it practising on dd's hair but doing it to yourself is a bit trickier.

NumTumDeDum Tue 11-Jun-13 13:53:51

Issima, did you manage to return the clothes? I'm having trouble working out my colours. Not helped by my hair being three colours, dark at the tips from old dye, a sort of brown/mouse in the middle and then bleach almost blonde bits from the sun. My mum's coming over tonight so perhaps she can help me. She's a bit like Bridget Jones mum!

issimma Tue 11-Jun-13 15:03:15

numtum Isn't that ombre hair? grin Mine is a frickin' disaster zone!

shoeprincess2 Tue 11-Jun-13 19:12:40

Ooooh num, that is a good idea. I have got some cash coming my way, so will certainly think about having a personal shopping session at Debenhams. I need something to inject a bit of life and style into my wardrobe. I am actually out with some old work colleagues on Friday for my birthday. I haven't seen a few of them for a year, so want to turn up and look cool and glam that I imagine myself being in my head. I am planning on having my hair done in the morning, as it has been woefully neglected since having Oliver in September!

HandMini- I did have an extra glass of wine but the warmth and alcohol combined just turned me into a sweaty mess.

Plans for this week- microdermabrasion on Thursday (a Body Shop one) and haircut Friday. i wouldn't mind treating myself to a new lipstick. Any recommendations for one that looks natural? has to be available at either Boots or a small Debenhams.

NumTumDeDum Tue 11-Jun-13 20:47:13

Shoe, when you say a bodyshop microdermabrasion, is that a product they sell or does your local bodyshop offer it as a service?

shoeprincess2 Wed 12-Jun-13 07:32:51

Num- it's a product. In an orange tube. Called Vitamin C microdermabrasion. It is a very, very fine scrub and you can only use it twice a week max. It is seriously good stuff and a reasonable middle ground for someone who doesn't want to go to a salon and actually have the microdermabrasion. It is very good and leaves your skin extremely smooth. If you then apply a serum, it soaks straight in- I guess because it doesn't sit on top of dead skin. There are always loads of Body Shop offers on, so you never seem to pay full price for things.
How is the sleeping going Num? The sleep deprivation plays havoc with your body and skin- my 9 month old has just started sleeping for 10-11 hours in the last 3 weeks, so I was ready for dropping. Your Jane Norman jeans story made me smile, as I had the same issue with an impulse purchase of some hipster Karen Millen jeans. They sat in my wardrobe for years. I never ever wore them. In fact, most of my jeans now just sit awkwardly on my hips. I think 2 rounds of baby carrying has re-distributed everything as nothing seems to sit right anymore. Gah! Did your mum sort you out last night then?

NumTumDeDum Wed 12-Jun-13 07:58:50

Shoe, thanks I'm going to have a look for that next time I go into town.

As for mum, no sadly! She's going on a cruise today so last night was mainly talking about the cruise! Well, can't blame her, she's very excited.

Ah Karen Millen. I love that shop but as you say pregnancy has redistributed my body and I doubt anything they sell would fit now. Plus, I don't have a job currently so I haven't the budget any more. I have fond memories of buying a dress in there after I qualified, I think I did a victory lap of the street carrying the bag, I was so chuffed.

HandMini Wed 12-Jun-13 09:31:06

Hi frumps (tongue in cheek). We're doing so well!! Haircuts, nails, microdermabrasion for fricks sake! Keep it up.

I'm doing ok today - plain blue jeans, pink cardigan buttoned up, blue ballet flats. And I chucked out two rancid old gilets both of which made me look like a fat child at pony club.

NumTumDeDum Wed 12-Jun-13 10:12:22

Morning Hand! Outfit sounds nice. I have never bought shoes in any colour but black or brown. I may try and break that habit.

I'm pretty amazed how many people have commented on this thread, it's quite comforting that I'm not alone.

yanicka Wed 12-Jun-13 12:11:00

hi well i like my hair to be healthy so i like natural products so i usually buy henna its a perfectly natural hair color and its cheap $4 in indians store , i buy creams and shapoons and all that staff from there its really good and cheap and its do wonders for my skin as i have very sensitive skin
hope it may help you

howiwonder Wed 12-Jun-13 14:42:11

Hand im laughing at fat child at pony club!!

so agree at that 'redistributing' thing that pregnancy does - im at my pre pregnancy weight on the scales (not that thats anything to be proud of, was a stone heavier than i would have liked when i got pregnant) but nothing fits right any more. quite liking these high waisted jeans i bought though, having previously moaned about them on here, theyve loosened up a bit and look quite nice.

bought some coconut oil the other day, hear it makes a nice hair treatment so i will be trying that shortly

hinkyhonk Wed 12-Jun-13 15:37:25

ooh microdermabrasion sounds good

i my skin looks knackered and half dead so i need something to perk it up - i feel a little trip to body shop and new look coming on

at work today so easy to not look frumpy (i hope) ash coloured cowl neck top with navy ankle grazing narrow leg trousers and some cool navy shoes with bows to do them up.

back into civvies tomorrow for sahm look which is not so good - will be back on tomorrow to whine for sure

shoeprincess2 Wed 12-Jun-13 19:23:01

I'm going to de-fuzz my legs and lady garden tomorrow night. OH is out for the evening, so am going to have a bit of a pamper session once the boys are in bed. I had a potter round Debenhams and am disappointed to report that I found absolutely nothing clothes wise. Well, one top, but it was way too short, so would have exposed my lovely love handles. So, still no idea what to wear on Friday.

NumTumDeDum Wed 12-Jun-13 21:28:28

Right I'm taking the opportunity to go to Lakeside tomorrow as I'm dropping dd off to her dad in that neck of the woods. I've just been paid for the cheese video that started this off so I've £55 to spend.

Now normally I'd head straight for Primark and get quantity. However, this time I think just one key item that I really love (plus the microdermabrasion stuff from Bodyshop). But what?

shoeprincess2 Thu 13-Jun-13 07:31:38

After the microdermabrasion stuff, you'll have about £40 ish left. So, a nice top to go with the black skinnies (I'm thinking something victoriana style) or a pair of sandals. Mind you, I find it so difficult to find anything decent/ likeable at the mo, I'd probably go and blast it on a bottle of Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repaur or Chanel Les Beiges face powder. I'm no help, am I? grin

NumTumDeDum Thu 13-Jun-13 08:08:35

Sandals are a possibility. My old gladiator ones have definitely had it.

rootypig Thu 13-Jun-13 09:24:51

Hmm. Key pieces I've just bought for my summer capsule wardrobe hmm (determined not to rely on a handful of things I love, mix and match)
- Saltwater sandals in tan - these are the sandals I've been looking for my whole life, they are so comfy and stylish I could weep, I am mentioning them on every thread I'm on grin They're sold out everywhere in London but if you're in the market for some check out Modcloth
- white and navy print shirt with buttons, to wear done up to the collar (I have stopped BF so am flat chested again grin)
- denim shorts
- perfect grey t shirt (from Monki online, really good value)
- leather skirt (ok this is not for everyone but I am obsessed with mine)

for that money, if you have a pair of skinnies and a pair of flats that are good, I would look for a great top that's easy to just put on, but looks put together. For me that would be something fairly boxy with short sleeves in a thick fabric, clean lines, from COS or Zara. That will balance the skinnies, and won't bag or sag. H&M also sometimes have lovely finds.
Or a good quality summer jumper or sweatshirt. I just bought this one from Topshop, it's much admired <ignores review about quality>

HellonHeels Thu 13-Jun-13 10:12:03

Hey frumpers I just popped back onto this thread for a bit of inspiration. Nice ideas coming out here - thanks!

shoeprincess2 Thu 13-Jun-13 20:05:18

Pah! It's my 37th birthday tomorrow. Someone asked me if it is a "big" one. I glared, said no and then wondered if he might have meant 30 deluded woman that I am. I'm off to microdermabrate (is that even a word?) a decade off my face!

IWillDoItInAMinute Thu 13-Jun-13 20:55:31

I turned 35 last month, someone asked me if it was a big one, I could've cried -slapped her-

Why are all of my clothes blue/navy?? In my 20s it was black, do you think by the time I hit 60 it will be beige ? One colour lighter per decade older?

MissingGuiltyPleasures Thu 13-Jun-13 21:15:17

I'm in the same boat too, except a bit further down the line - I'm 35 (eek) and DD is 2.
I lost my babyweight quickly, but it has left me looking tired and old. I need to do something, anything, with my hair and to get a bit of the 'old' me back. I really miss her. I think I may need to invest in some polyfilla or antiwrinkle gloop.

Debenhams do a free personal shopper service. If you're unsure what really suits you now you can use them to pick out good shapes, styles and colours. You don't need to buy anything there, but it may focus your search on specific pieces of clothing - skinny jeans or belted dresses etc.
I agree with others - eyebrows! I always feel better when they and my moustache and beard have been professionally vanished!

If you're in the process of losing weight and want to avoid buying clothes, treat yourself to a few cheap and cheerful accessories - bags, scarves, earrings, hair bands etc. They can really make a plain outfit look 'done' and you'll attract compliments which will make you feel so much better about yourself xxx

shoeprincess2 Thu 13-Jun-13 21:17:11

IWill- lol. Yes, my wardrobe has changed from black to brown/grey in 10 years too. Right, de-frump in progress. Off to commandeer the bathroom for a bit and sort out my face and fuzz. Then I'll rifle through my wardrobe and see what I can wear tomorrow. Probably jeans and a vest top and blazer. Chuck a chunky necklace round my neck and I may just pass for a thirty something smile.

Num- what did you buy at Lakeside today?

Rooty- I like the sound of your staple items. I'm off to have a look at those sandals

rootypig Thu 13-Jun-13 21:35:51

ugh meant determined to, not determined not to. Stupid subconscious derailing my defrumping.

shoeprincess we are clearly cut from the same cloth, I love nothing more than blasting money I do not have on Chanel and EL grin

The sandals are really good on the foot, just clunky enough.

Lakeside num? is there more than one place named that or are you in my neck of the woods? Without wanting to be too specific, I'm up Northwards?

NumTumDeDum Thu 13-Jun-13 21:49:38

Lakeside Essex! I have rubbed shoulders with the very groomed today. Sadly I had no time for shopping as I met up with an old friend for lunch and spent my shopping time chatting! Had to leave early to miss the gridlock on the m25 so was quietly miffed but it was nice to catch up. Had a good look around me though. Some lovely outfits. Some not so lovely involving velour tracksuits

Have decided to try and sell some things on ebay to add to the pot.

Big birthdays? Obvs they meant 30 grin

Lakeside must be a popular name for shopping centres then! Velour tracksuits are big here too, usually worn with big skyscraping heels hmm not by me though, I'd pierce the earth's crust if I put all this weight on a stiletto heel grin

leahmoore Fri 14-Jun-13 05:32:04

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

IWillDoItInAMinute Fri 14-Jun-13 07:35:40

shoe tell me about blazers. I love the idea of a blazer but what type, etc. frumpy frump frump doesn't know where to start confused

shoeprincess2 Fri 14-Jun-13 07:58:13

I have one that I really like. I bought it in a sale a few years back, in Miss Selfridge of all places. Just a thick black jersey material and single breasted- one button. It isn't fancy, just a simple style. Oh, it does have a wiast- i cannot wear boxy styles or cropped ones, as they add pounds to me. This one just sits at the top of the hip bone too. I like the idea of a cotton blazer for summer in a lighter colour. I used to have a navy one with cream piping, but OH said that I looked like Patrick McGoohan from The Prisoner. It kind of put me off wearing it.

Rooty- I prefer spending money on beauty products as they are easier to buy and don't depress me like clothes shopping. I shall have to take the bull by the horns and get a personal shopper. It has to be done smile. Have a pleasant day ladies. I am now officially 37.

rootypig Fri 14-Jun-13 08:01:41

I know you asked shoe but if you don't mind if I chip in blush, I have just been trying to work this out because I've just dug out a blazer I bought a couple of summers ago from Zara but has hardly seen the light of day due to DD. Mine is a neutral sort of sandy colour. It is quite soft and unstructured and I think the way I am going to wear it is as a defrumped alternative to a cardigan, with the sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow ie not too precious. Zara is king of the blazer on the highstreet and I think the way they've styled them on their site is nice - I really like some of the print ones.

rootypig Fri 14-Jun-13 08:02:25

Happy birthday shoe! flowers I am a Gemini too grin

IWillDoItInAMinute Fri 14-Jun-13 08:22:17

Yes rooty alternative to cardi's I am the -frump- cardigan queen. I have lots of them and HATE them!

Well off to do the sr -in my navy cardi- blush

NumTumDeDum Fri 14-Jun-13 09:03:28

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear shooooooooooooooe! Happy Birthday to you!

I very much hope you are being spoiled rotten.

IWillDoItInAMinute Fri 14-Jun-13 09:13:45

Happy Birthday shoe hope you have a lovely day flowers

rootypig Fri 14-Jun-13 09:19:28

I have decided I hate the cardi. Almost any lady shape will be frumped by one - with the exception of very chunky wool. They just hang from the saggy post BF breasts.

Laquila Fri 14-Jun-13 09:55:36
shoeprincess2 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:07:06

Thanks ladies for your birthday wishes!! I have had a lovely day, though on my way to meet my friends for lunch, I ended up signing up for a free facial with Origins. To be fair, they also gave me 3 free samples of skincare products...I wore a high neck lace top, blazer and jeans. I felt ok but a bit paranoid and old looking. Hope you are all well xx

IWillDoItInAMinute Fri 14-Jun-13 19:37:00

So glad you had a lovely day shoe smile. Your outfit sounds great!!

Had a look at JL website at wide range of blazers. Saw a really nice -pricey- Jigsaw black blazer. Luckily -sadly- it was only available in s. I am not even close to being a small blush

shoeprincess2 Fri 14-Jun-13 20:29:00

IWill- have a look in H & M and TK Maxx. They should have a good range of blazers.

cloutiedumpling Fri 14-Jun-13 20:41:29

Hello ladies

I've been following this thread and decided to de lurk. You're giving me inspiration to escape the shapeless jeans and fleeces that I seem to live in when I'm not working. I don't want to spend too much at the moment as am hoping to lose weight so will look at accessories.

NumTumDeDum Tue 18-Jun-13 11:13:53

Welcome Cloutie. Fleeces were the first thing to go when I started looking at my wardrobe with a critical eye.

Been busy over the weekend gardening and diy-ing so not much time for de-frumping. I have started the process of ebaying clothes so hopefully will be able to replace my clothes with something nice.

I think I found the holy grail of peplum tops yesterday, it has a v slit neckline. This is very important as I need separation or I have a giant uniboob. Only £8.99 from new look. In my staple colour of black (baby steps, still not confident on colours). What I definitely need now is a bra fitting.

NumTumDeDum Tue 18-Jun-13 11:15:19

Re blazers, I tried on a few in New Look but on me they look boxy. Are they just not good on big busted women?

MadBusLady Tue 18-Jun-13 11:20:58

I find not, Num (am 30FF). Haven't looked good in a blazer since I was a skinny teen with no boobs.

Pepperberry can be a godsend for jackets but they don't have a lot of choice. Really wish they just did a range of basics in different colours rather than trying to "outfit" everything.

MadBusLady Tue 18-Jun-13 11:27:42

Laquila you must be my style twin!

I have those Clarks sandals, they are fantastic, I wore them most days on holiday last week except when we were hiking. Not one pinch or blister. I have an old lady bunion on one foot and the cross strap was just above it so didn't bother it at all. I have them in normal width, which surprised me, I am usually a tad over normal even without said bunion.

I've also been looking at that jacket, and those Ravello tops are one of the few things I still really like about Boden. I feel so dressed in them, without having to layer or accessorize.

NumTumDeDum Tue 18-Jun-13 12:11:49

Right, I think I've cracked a jacket for the larger busted woman - waterfall jackets. Much more flattering. Just tried on a few in New Look (not my fave shop but I only have a choice of that or M&co unless I go into town).

angeltulips Tue 18-Jun-13 13:03:09

For those who are wanting blazers, may I put in a recommendation for top shop ponte range of blazers - they are soft, don't have buttons so not boxy & generally brilliant. They bring them out in diff colours & fabrics at different points of the year - I have about 6 of them in different colours.

Marking place to join in later, 33 years old with 3 year old and 9 week old and a husband that works abroad three weeks a month. Did veet my legs this morning, first time post dc2 blush have at least two stone to lose, and a horrid flabby belly following EMCS. Am EBF so have a huge appetite which isn't helping. Already have the shred DVD still shrink wrapped so just need to get my arse in gear really....

howiwonder Wed 19-Jun-13 12:41:15

hello all,
have lost touch with all this de frumping recently as have been caught up in the horrors of packing up and moving house.
however i have booked in a hair appt for saturday and am desperate for something different, going to get a fringe for the first time in years, thought it might make me feel like a have more of a style.
well done on the ebaying num - ive just been charity shopping lots of stuff that i know would make a bit of money but i just havent the energy or time to list it all...

cloutiedumpling Wed 19-Jun-13 12:47:25

I've been going through my wardrobe and putting things in bags for charity. A lot of the things are frumpy. Someone on here said something that has really chimed with me - there's no point in identifying something as being frumpy and then putting it back in the wardrobe just in case you wear it again. Why? Just so you can look frumpy again? Great sentiment and I've tried to follow it.

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 15:27:08

have also been off out of the defrump as been busy with moving house and general tomfoolery involving hospitals - anyway back onto the non frump this week.

need to find me some skinny jeans as i live in them when not at work. have a good pair of blue jeans and black jeans but then what else do i need? any other suggestions for non frumpy skinny jean type colours? going to try to get to primark at lunch time which might be tricky. liking the topshop blazers so will give that a go too.

will def need to get my barnet done before our actual move so that i'm not left with a pile of boxes and no hope of finding a new dresser in months and months.

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 15:33:39

also need some advice re swimwear. due to move we aren't going away on holiday this year (and due to ds2 i won't be wearing a bikini until after the tummy tuck until after i've toned up) but i need a swimsuit to take the boys swimming. i've had a standard speedo one but its gone rather fluffy so need a new one but which one.

i think i like this one

but is it frumpy

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 15:35:24

and if not that one - any suggestions?

i'm size 8/10 ish but a little wobbly in the stomach and small ish knockers so don't need support particularly - help!

Paribus Wed 19-Jun-13 16:58:32

I love- love- love Primark boyfriend (skinny actually, at least in me) jeans for 11 pounds. Have lots of jeans from different makes, all if them much more expensive, and these by far are my favorite now. Recommend- and totally not frumpy!!

NumTumDeDum Wed 19-Jun-13 16:58:52

Hinky that is lush! (Ok showing my age and westcountryness with use of lush there but hey it is). I love that costume! You have to get it. As far ftom frumpy as you can get imo.

Paribus Wed 19-Jun-13 17:02:44

.... ON me even...

MadBusLady Wed 19-Jun-13 17:10:36

I'm sure I've said this before a million times but I really rate Uniqlo jeans. They have gorgeous colours, are soo comfy, wash well and feel a bit more substantial than my New Look ones, which I have to be careful to wear the right knickers with. My current favourites are the khaki Ultra Stretch and am coveting the coral Skinny Fit Straight. They do a whole confusing variety of fits so any sized person can find something they looks "skinny" on them IYSWIM.

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 21:10:11

Right uniqlo it is. Any idea what colour to go for?

MadBusLady Wed 19-Jun-13 21:22:53

I think looking at the undergrad students I see around me anything goes with coloured trousers at the moment! Whichever colour will go with a lot of your stuff and not make you feel silly. I tend towards greens and reds/pinks because those are almost neutrals for me, I wear a lot of those colours and also a lot of black/white, beige and brown. But your "almost neutral" might be a blue or a purple. I also have a pair of grey-beige Uniqlos that look a bit more restrained and go with any bright top I want to wear.

fivefoottwowitheyesofblue Wed 19-Jun-13 22:03:31

madbuslady how does uniqlo sizing come up please? Really love the trews that you linked to smile

MadBusLady Wed 19-Jun-13 22:08:04

I would say they run a bit large, compared to the likes of say Topshop. They have a lot of stretch. I have a big arse and I can fit into a 29 inch waist. I am NOT a 29 inch waist.

The other thing I should have said is they come in one length, 33 inches, and you have to get it shortened. They do this in store for you if you can get to a store, I think it's about a fiver. I leave it though, I am a 31 inch leg and I like having a little extra to roll up.

howiwonder Thu 20-Jun-13 13:53:04

ha ha num we must be near one another, we are west country bumpkins too!
I dont think of that swimsuit as frumpy hinky i think its very sexy and stylish. i am shuddering at the thought of ever having to wear swimwear again, i suppose that could be considered an upside of having no holidays in the sun planned anytime soon...
my DH loves uniqlo and swears by their mens trousers, they do seem to last for ages. Maybe I should try some for myself, i like the sound of the fit

CounselorTroi Thu 20-Jun-13 18:21:27

M&S bra fitters are EVIL. They put me in a 36D bra. I am in fact a 32E.

fivefoottwowitheyesofblue Sun 23-Jun-13 13:42:39

madbuslady Thanks, have now ordered.

NumTumDeDum Tue 25-Jun-13 21:10:14

Right. Today I've had a little bit of success getting ds to take some expressed milk from a bottle. Feeling positive, the possibility of a well fitted bra a little step closer.

More importantly, I've just ordered The Shred from Amazon and I've found my sports bra.

HandMini Tue 25-Jun-13 22:57:51

Hi frumps, sorry for my absence, been a crazy week here. I've completely let defrumping fall by the way side so am now back on it with a vengeance.

Num - how brilliant, sexy bras will be yours.

NumTumDeDum Wed 26-Jun-13 10:08:00

Morning Hand! Well today I nipped into Peacocks for some shorts. No go. Bad fit on everything I tried on. Then ds voiced his disapproval so still no shorts. Gah can't do shopping with children in tow.

NumTumDeDum Mon 01-Jul-13 00:04:48

I have The Shred and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm lying, that's why it still has cellophane keeping it prisoner.

Going to take the wrapper off tomorrow. I may even work up to putting it in the dvd player by Wednesday.

HelgatheHairy Mon 01-Jul-13 09:31:53

I think I had the Shred 4 months before I even took the wrapper off! I conveniently lost it in the bottom of my wardrobe after buying it. I remember my legs KILLED me the next day.

RainbowBob Mon 01-Jul-13 11:57:47

I am supposed to be shredding. I bought the DVD about ten days ago, it arrived last Wednesday. I had one go at it last Wednesday and since then I have ...erm.. lost it somewhere...? The plastic DVD case is there, but it has Toy Story 3 inside it? A mystery.

Love this thread by the way. It is inspiring me very much. Although I am hitting a brick wall with the exercise bit.

redwellybluewelly Mon 01-Jul-13 13:24:24

Greetings from a fellow frump. DD1 is almost 3 and DD2 is nearly four weeks. I've actually not been able to go out of the house since she was born except to my MIL (who is sleek and sophisticated and understanding of post baby wardrobe) because I have no clothes which fit.

Even post DD1 I remember a shopping trip when she was 18months old and bought mainly from East, came home much poorer and although I had clothes I now shudder slightly at how frumpy I was.

I like White Stuff but love Seasalt, doesn't help I'm trying to grow my hair again (short is smart but just feel I've lost part of my soul), I own one pair of carhaart flip flops, a pair of black flats I bought for a funeral and some brown pull on ankle DMs.

Pre DC I was a size 12, 5'8 but now size 18, after a CS my shape has totally changed with a beastly overhang one side of my stomach. I have mountains of clothes but nothing to wear, no style having bought mostly to 'fit in' and look ten years older than I am. I go back to work after Christmas and will be job hunting from Easter so need to nail this stye business!

NumTumDeDum Mon 01-Jul-13 13:40:50

I think I've now finally removed everything from my drawers and wardrobe that either didn't fit (and isn't ever likely to again) and/or didn't suit.

Knickers have been sorted into wearable, hideous (straight in bin), aspirational (might get in them again if I hit target) and you've got to be joking (will never in a million years fit again - toothfloss thongs I'm looking at you).

I tried on a bikini top yesterday for the garden. It looked indecent, the triangles of material were so small. I've now hoiked the lot of those out and put them in the charity bag. Having consulted the Bra thread it turns out I am not a 36e. I'm actually a 32h. Slight difference! Anyway. I no longer feel so bad about high street clothes never fitting as they are just not designed for a h cup bust. This has helped me mentally no end. I've tried some on and the lift was fab!

Turns out there is a waist under the sagging bust, you just couldn't see it before. I haven't yet bought as money is very tight, so need to make sure I get a really good quality one. The only ones I could find in my size were Debenhams own and I'm not sure I'd rate them.

Hello to RedwellyBluewelly. I feel your pain re c section overhang. I've had two emergency c's and all I can say is the overhang for me has gradually reduced and certainly after my first got to a point where it was barely noticeable. That has yet to happen with the most recent but it is going down.

happyreindeer Mon 01-Jul-13 13:45:34

I have hysterectomy overhang and I do not think it will ever go. I am incredibly frumpy today in my all navy outfit of m and s v neck jumper and denim skirt and my one shoe to rule them all
Sketchers go walk I am exercising twice today so want to be able to get changed quickly.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 01-Jul-13 15:01:50

I had the same experience after the birth of my third child (minus the cheese video). I looked at myself and realized that I looked ridiculous and frumpy and old.

A lot of it was down to not having anything that still fit from the pre-baby days. And, I still had some weight to lose.

But, I managed to find some things by going to charity shops, Primark, and Asda. I use Primark and Asda for things like tee shirts and jeans, and the charity shops to get nice tops, skirts, and dresses. I mix it all together.

Just today I scored some stuff from Monsoon and Boden for a couple of quid each. Go to the posher villages/areas near you and scour the charity shops. Buy funky, unusual things that will liven up your wardrobe.

Also, accessories can help a lot. I use cheap, bright scarves from Primark and street vendors.

NumTumDeDum Mon 01-Jul-13 15:56:22

You're totally right about location for charity shops Katy, the ones around here are stuffed with F&F and George, and often priced totally unrealistically.

I think I might have a go at swishing later. I've given up on ebay a bit now postage is so expensive.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 01-Jul-13 16:02:00

Yeah, when I lived in Dumbarton, the shops were full of George t shirts priced at £3. Um, I can get a brand new one for £5.hmm

But,if I drove up to Helensburgh, the shops were full of Monsoon and Boden, at the same prices.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 01-Jul-13 16:07:20

One reason I love charity shops and tk max is that everything is all mixed together. It's not all arranged into outfits and "looks" and nobody has dictated what colours you're going to wear.

I buy certain colours (pink, purple, blue, and a bit of green) and mix them together. I also only wear black, never brown. Buying brown opens the brown can of worms: you need brown shoes, belts, bags, etc. And there are different shades of brown. Black is black, and goes with anything.

needasilverlining Wed 03-Jul-13 15:45:58

Been lurking on this thread since the beginning and it's currently my favourite thing on MN. Genuinely inspiring (and you all sound lovely if I may say so).

After 2 DCs I think I've got my clothes more or less sorted (favoured uniform; skinny trousers, floaty/long top, flats, jacket) but I have been feeling a bit mumsy so it's fab to get your ideas.

In fact, I went off to Matalan this morning to try out the double layered pencil skirt and all I can say is, IT IS AMAZING. Smoothing, slimming, only a tenner... loved it so much I am driving 20 miles (after a frantic phone round) on Saturday to get the grey one in my size. So Thank You to the hero who mentioned it.

NumTumDeDum Wed 03-Jul-13 16:55:36

I nearly bought that skirt in the olive. But I don't know what to wear with it? It is seriously out of my comfort zone but it is lovely.

needasilverlining Wed 03-Jul-13 18:37:56

Mine too, TBH - I don't really do skirts, or tight jersey. But they are fab. I hadn't realised there were more colours than grey or black so might cancel the 20-mile trip and get the animal-printy one instead.

There's a code about for 10 off 25 spend at Matalan (don't know if the online ones work but you can get voucher instore) and Click and Collect is free...

needasilverlining Wed 03-Jul-13 18:50:12

By the way, to wear with what I hope will become the MN Skirt, I'm thinking either loose long tops, or maybe nicking the Vogue woman's idea and investing in a couple of men's shirts...

MadBusLady Wed 03-Jul-13 19:13:56

Well, I need little persuading to buy pencil skirts. They are great with linen shirts or shirt-type jersey tops and a skinny belt, as well as more informally with pretty vest and flipflops. Matalan Lewisham here I come. Baaaaaa....

needasilverlining Wed 03-Jul-13 21:36:37

Idea: frump club shopping trips! Meet up, get feedback on outfits (and vet them for mumsiness).

Who's where?

NumTumDeDum Wed 03-Jul-13 21:44:29

I'm near Portsmouth. It's true, I shouldn't be allowed to shop alone. Or with children. A lot of my purchases are snap decisions because all hell is breaking loose around my knees. Plus dd likes to flash me in changing rooms!

NumTumDeDum Wed 10-Jul-13 23:41:13

I've finally ordered some bras - thank you bra intervention thread! I've bought three for less than £15 in the Debenhams sale. Feeling rather pleased. Hopefully they will fit alright.

Since I threw out all my offending frumpy clothes, it has been much easier to dress in the mornings, if only because there isn't much left.

What are your views on linen wide leg trousers? I have three pairs, two black, one clay. They're practical in this heat (hate legs rubbing) but caught sight of myself today after a drive in a very hot car and I looked a bit like an unmade bed.

EliotNess Thu 11-Jul-13 03:27:51

They're vile. Make you pit on weight due to waistband. Do f flatter anything. My rotund mil likes them if that helps

NumTumDeDum Thu 11-Jul-13 11:08:46

Ha, yes that helps! ok, so thats a few more things for the charity shop.

hinkyhonk Fri 12-Jul-13 07:12:16

Just moved house and now have a full length mirror propped up in our bedroom.... Not great to catch sight of an unexpected frump. Amy way to angle the mirror so it doesn't make me even shorter and dumpier?

The defrump continues slowly.

NumTumDeDum Fri 12-Jul-13 09:13:17

I still don't have a full length mirror, I can't buy one with the kids in tow, no way to carry it to the car. I keep thinking I'll get one at the weekend and then forgetting.

Hinkyhonk, if you find that elusive angle let me know! grin

I've posted separately as well but I've got my hen night coming up and I need something to wear for that and a swimming costume for the spa. I'm broke and this is added stress! My sister has very kindly organised and paid for this, I think she assumed I had clothes etc. I literally have nothing that would be suitable for a night out - meal, bar, club. I'm thinking a dress as that cuts down options and matching things.

I really wanted the Very costume on Mn recommends but it's out of stock in my size. I'm sure wedding planning and hen planning is meant to be fun but all I'm doing is stressing like stressed eric. I don't want to let my sister down as she's put in a lot of effort and all my farflung friends are coming. I feel like crying this morning. I can't afford new clothes, this will have to go on my credit card, which I've finally cleared.

I've started jobhunting early, I said to myself September when dd starts school and Ds will be 10 months but I am so sick of counting every penny and feeling like buying brand shampoo is extravagant.

Passthecake30 Fri 12-Jul-13 11:55:33

I have been following this thread and have decided to de lurk...I'm 38 and in the process of having a pre mid life crisis. Been trying to deft frump , my wardrobe that consists of dull dull dull plain jersey tops and boring black trousers. I'm 6ft so struggle finding interesting things when tall ranges just cover the boring basics. So far this week I have chucked out very old gym gear and about 8 of said boring jersey tops and been on an on line shopping spurge that totals quite a lot but I guess lots will be sent back. I am blaming frumpsville on the fact that I have been the same size (apart from pregnancies) since I was 18,..... Some of the clothes I have date back to my mid 20s when boring clothes was maybe more acceptable (to me)

NumTumDeDum Fri 12-Jul-13 13:35:47

Hi Passthecake30. I know what you mean about having things for a long time. I finally threw out my stuff. It's quite cathartic in a way, I feel my bedroom is more organised and I can actually put things away and find things easier.

I've just been on the dressipi site (linked on my other thread) and it looks very good, I need to do their style challenge so it can recommend things for me to wear. I have the opposite problem to you, I'm on the shorter end of the scale, regular length legs but a short body so very often the tops need to be the petite range but they never have much in.

Mind you since I've been on MN I have had my eyes opened to what is out there, so many great websites and brands I had never heard of, I feel annoyed that I've only really bought on the high street. Have you tried posting for recommendations for tall women? I have found everyone so helpful with suggestions.

HelgatheHairy Sat 13-Jul-13 14:23:00

In my defrumping mission I've sent another bin bag of clothes to the charity shop AND perhaps more importantly I've bought a full length mirror for the first time in 2 years. I haven't had one since we moved into this house and I could just see chest up in the bathroom mirror.

Can't buy new clothes at the moment as 36+6. Want to try and sort (I.e. throw away most of) my underwear drawer next after having a look at the bra threads.

NumTumDeDum Sat 13-Jul-13 21:52:06

Nice one Helga, I will get one tomorrow for definite!

HelgatheHairy Mon 15-Jul-13 15:04:06

I've sorted the baby clothes by size does that count? (Went a bit crazy in the Next sale). It means the baby chest of drawers is all nice and organised!

Still need to tackle my underwear drawer.

Passthecake30 Mon 15-Jul-13 16:31:01

Got 2 new pairs of skinny crops to replace what id been wearing for years...too short jeans hacked off with kitchen scissors. Look smarter already.

Also got my first ever maxi dress...feeling v proud. Bet dp hates it as he is frumpy beyond imagination, plus has no idea what women wear so whenever I get something a little less dull it gives him a fright lol

Next to arrive is a replacement gym kit to replace my bobbly faded attire that I've worn forever.

At present if I've had it pre my first pregnancy then it is considered worthy of the defrump pile. Ds is 5 and a half.

NumTumDeDum Mon 15-Jul-13 17:01:03

The jeans sound great Passthecake. I had a set back, the bras I ordered arrived but really don't fit. Back to the drawing board. I think I'll try a back size up and a cup size down next. Desperate to get them up where they should be rather than tucked in my belt!

HelgatheHairy Mon 15-Jul-13 17:26:16

The whole bra thing is a minefield! I need to sort out my nursing bra but only have a mothercare or Debenhams and don't trust either of them to measure me properly so need to get out my tape measure and post a thread for help!

NumTumDeDum Mon 15-Jul-13 19:45:14

Right. The cellophane is off, the Shred is in the dvd player. I have squeezed my bulk into lycra (and drawn the curtains - boy am I glad I still haven't got that mirror). I just need to find the will to start. I'm sure it's here somewhere?...

NumTumDeDum Mon 15-Jul-13 20:37:48

Ha! I've done it. First lot of exercise since I ran the Sport Relief 5k at 12 weeks pregnant. And, surprisingly, it wasn't too bad! I will hurt tomorrow for sure but, I reckon it's do able. The only thing I really couldn't do was press ups, but I've never really been able to do them really. Need to get some better weights - slippy hands + baked beans = disaster waiting to happen. Is the idea that you do it every day? Because I was thinking I would alternate with a run but maybe that would be counter productive.

DP is now attempting it in an act of solidarity (he's a keeper this one). He's struggling with the quick switching between exercises.

NumTumDeDum Mon 05-Aug-13 21:11:01

I have finally purchased a full length mirror. Now I can see exactly how frumpy I look before I go out!

rockybalboa Mon 05-Aug-13 23:16:44

Just found this thread after having a major 'I'm a frump!' crisis today. I am a sucker for White Stuff longer length/tunic style tops especially if a bird print but realised that wearing them with leggings only works with chunky boots. With pumps or flip flops the shape of my legs just makes me look frumpy. Tried on various pairs of jeggings today, all fucking horrid. Do love my NL Supersoft Superskinnies though so might see if I can get away with a pair of them in green/dark red. It's just finding bottom halves for the W. Stuff tunics that is the problem. Too sticky for jeans at the mo. I thought jeggings were the answer but I'm too fat and they are just too tight round my shapely calves. Am 36, mum to 3 (youngest is only 3 weeks old mind you), 5ft 3, 3 stone overweight but 12/14 on top and 14 bottom. I do have a trendy fringe which looks great (altho not as much like Taylor Swift as i would hope) when I have time to straighten my hair but makes me look like Kathy Burke in Gimme Gimme Gimme if not. Watching this thread with interest. Tomorrow I will not be a frump. And my bank card might get a bashing...

Peregrin Fri 23-Aug-13 21:02:28

Are bootcut jeans frumpy?! confused butbutbut... I am a pear shape and they balance out my butt. I am aware that skinnies are all the rage but isn't it more frumpy to wear styles that don't suit one's body shape?

FariesDoExist Sat 24-Aug-13 21:30:17

Peregrin I don't know the answer, I cannot wear skinnies at all as I am 'blessed' with thunder thighs and small boobs but nobody seems to wear bootcuts anymore. The shops still sell them though!

rockybalboa Sat 24-Aug-13 21:48:08

Straight leg jeans are the not-skinnies-but-not-bootcut solution. New Look ones are good.

LadyMilfordHaven Sun 25-Aug-13 07:51:45

Bin the white stuff tunics. Frump tastic

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