Pale Cream Dress to Wedding?

(94 Posts)
KT1366 Wed 15-May-13 16:34:45

Hi i have a wedding to go to soon and have spent ages searching for a dress. Tried loads on that are too short/too bridesmaidy/unflattering/frumpy/too expensive/too casual etc and finally came across a beautiful pale cream dress in Oasis. It is a simple sleevless shift style with a high neck and silver 'necklace' beading detail around the neckline, low dropped waist with two ruffles (slightly 20s style i think). And most importantly in my budget! I was planning to wear with black shoes/wrap/stole and fascinator for a bit of colour contrast.

Showed my mum and a couple of friends who said it was fine but then one friend mentioned i shouldnt wear cream to a wedding...(i only thought this rule meant long bridal style gowns). I am now having second thoughts!

However the bride wore a cream short dress herself last year to another of our friends' wedding so i'm thinking she doesnt perhapes know/care about the rule either??

I really like her and it is in no way about upstaging/wishing it was my wedding etc. neither am i family so will not be in family photos. however would never wish to offend! what do people think?

Absolutely no way.
Even if the bride doesn't care, you will not make friends with the other guests.

Songbird Wed 15-May-13 16:51:18

What? I don't see the problem. ...not make friends with other guests - why on earth not? Are they going to think she's the bride?

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 16:51:34

nope, sorry, thats a hard and fast rule. whats your price range? maybe we can help.

Songbird Wed 15-May-13 16:52:04

But with black accessories? Really?

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 16:53:48

even with black accessories, imo anyway. It is just too bridal.

DiscoDonkey Wed 15-May-13 16:54:15

There was a similar thread recently, huge majority said it was a big no no. Even if you aren't trying to steal the brides thunder there will be those who think you are and will declare you pathetic, try hard and needy.

Not worth the bother I say!!

CoolStoryBro Wed 15-May-13 16:58:12

If it isn't bridal and you like it, wear it. Just don't carry flowers and insist on 'Hear comes the Bride" as you enter church wink

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 16:58:47

disco, yep. It's like wearing black. Even if the bride doesn't mind (although when it's her, I'm sure she'd feel different) the bridesmaids, the groom, their families... it does come across as trying to upstage the bride. I've been looking for something for a friends wedding, and have come across some great dresses though, what are you looking for?

Songbird Wed 15-May-13 17:02:11

OK, I bow to the greater knowledge of mumsnet! I love green and really would have loved my bridesmaids in a soft sagey colour but didn't even bother looking as my mum has a buge 'green at weddings is bad luck' superstition.

Songbird Wed 15-May-13 17:02:57

I tried to find the dress on the Oasis website thinking there must be something similar somewhere in a different colour but can't find it.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:04:43

I wanted black for my bridesmaids, I saw them in simple black, long satin dresses, but my mum threw a hissy fit over it. Its a minefield, black and white is fine, but not separately.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:06:33

grin great minds, I did too. Found some lovely stuff though this is gorgeous

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:07:12
Songbird Wed 15-May-13 17:08:40

Lovely lissie, especially the second one but good god they're short!

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:16:53

they are shorter than I thought blush

MarianForrester Wed 15-May-13 17:19:57

Miss Selfridge has some really nice dresses this year. I am a lot older than their target market, but got a gorgeous twenties-ish blush one in February. Not too short at all and I am tall.

Some lovely looking ones on website.

KT1366 Wed 15-May-13 17:27:27

It has surprised me how against this people are. I honestly hadnt even heard of the rule until my friend told me...! Maybe that just shows my ignorance/naivety of wedding ettiquette! I am only just starting to get to the age where friends are getting married so maybe i'll learn as i go along!

My trouble is i dont like form fitting dresses, i feel too body concious. and the same goes for anything short or tight around the legs. floaty is more forgiving on me. im also short though so midi dresses swamp me a bit and look a bit frumpy! and long dresses with heels (a must for me!) look very bridesmaidy! I am early twenties so want something respectable but that wont age me.

my budget is around £50 - the cream dress was £70 but i got 20% student discount smile

The dress i have isnt on the website i checked to try and give a link. must be new in?

thanks for the help

smile

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:28:20

ok, what about 50's style dresses?

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:29:38

what size are you? any preference on colour?

<flexes googling fingers>

sunshinenanny Wed 15-May-13 17:31:11

Songbird, Green is only considered unlucky because it's the faries colour and it was said if a bride wore green the fairies would spirit her away to fairylandgrin

I think it depends on the outfit and what you wear with it. you should have posted a photo.

KT1366 Wed 15-May-13 17:35:06

i had a little google and apparently cant wear white, cream, black, red, nude, pale pink, gold, silver,lemon or green! absolute minefield!

what happened to celebrating a couples love with friends and family all looking and feeling happy and relaxed with a good day had by all....

I appreciate it's the couples day and a honour to be asked to attend but we've spent about £1000k on attending this wedding (stag, hen, wedding suit, dress, accessories present, taxis, hotel, money for day)...surely it should all be a little more relaxed bearing in mind the people they have invited are nearest and dearest and have made the effort to attend?

dont get me worng i will follow advice and try to find something different but i will try to make a concious effort if it ever is my turn to take some of the pressure off my guests!

thats my theory anyway!

KT1366 Wed 15-May-13 17:36:18

i am a 10...but 5ft 2 and with awful legs that have succummed to the cellulite waggon much before my age!

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:38:56
zzzzz Wed 15-May-13 17:39:54

Dye it?

Really really don't wear it.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:42:43

I get what you're saying, and tbh, the only colours I wouldn't wear are white/cream or black/dark grey. But, I would have been fuming if someone wore white to my wedding, silly, I know.

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 17:43:11

Blimey!
I wore cream and black to my Dhs best friends wedding.
I wore black and bronze to my dbros.
I wear a lot of black and white generally and to weddings and always have.
Dh no idea it was so frowned on!
Surely most people have black shoes, handbag etc?

garlicyoni Wed 15-May-13 17:43:51

i had a little google and apparently cant wear white, cream, black, red, nude, pale pink, gold, silver,lemon or green!

Flippin'eck, there's not much left, is there?! I have worn red to lots of weddings ... and received a few wtf comments about being 'brave' or 'bohemian' confused I didn't know that rule!

Looks like it's gonna be orange, purple or blue! That's inspiring ... hmm

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 17:43:56

I didn't even notice what people wore at my wedding tbh.
I simply don't care.
Weddings aren't fashion shows fgs.

TeamJesse Wed 15-May-13 17:45:39

I don't think it's about them having to be more relaxed - cream or white dresses just look bridal, and wearing a bridal-looking dress at someone else's wedding is embarrassing. Maybe the bride won't be offended, but you will look weird. It can't be so hard to find a dress in a different colour.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:45:59

black accessories are different, and black and another colour is fine, but black is a funeral colour, imo.

garlicyoni Wed 15-May-13 17:46:31

I've got to say I think cream-and-black is a failsafe 'smart' choice. You said you were considering a black stole; surely that'll break up the cream and stop you looking bridal?

Some twat wore full-length white & cream to my wedding. She was making a point, yes!

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 17:49:09

I wore a cream suit, black hat, shoes and bag and black and cream scarf.
For my brothers wedding which was at Xmas I wore a bronze jacquard dress and a knee length black coat as it was bloody freezing.
I have worn black and purple, black and white, black and orange once...

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 17:49:38

That's why I love white/cream and black.
It's very hard to get it wrong.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:53:37

garlic, shock thats shit.

gillywillywoo Wed 15-May-13 17:54:06

Don't bother.. YOU WILL BE JUDGED!!!

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:54:22

Badvoc, but it does look bridal.

IrritatingInfinity Wed 15-May-13 17:55:39

I think a cream dress as described would be perfectly OK.

I am not keen on fascinaters though confused.

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 17:58:53

A short sleeved jacket and above the knee cream skirt looks bridal?
Ok, if you say so....

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:58:53

this is lovely and could wear it again just pick out one of the other colours.

sunshinenanny Wed 15-May-13 17:58:56

garlicyoni, Maybe all those colour bans is the reason so many wear floral or mixed print to weddings.smile

There used to be a poem about brides not wearing certain colours but I thought it was only black or white that was a ban for the guesthmm

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 17:59:33

yes, it does, imo. My mum wore something v similar to her wedding. so did my cousin.

garlicyoni Wed 15-May-13 18:03:18

YY, sunshine, the migraine-inducing print outbreaks make more sense now! I would really look a lot like Hyacinth Bucket in florals shock

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 18:03:20
garlicyoni Wed 15-May-13 18:07:03

Both those Monsoon numbers are v. nice imo, lissie smile Plus they manage to be both 'weddingy' (flowers) and smart.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 18:43:55

Thank you garlic, both could easily be worn again to christenings or night out.

KT1366 Wed 15-May-13 19:28:54

Thank you for all your help and opinions! Especially you Lizzy you have been busy! Was leaving work hence the delay in replying!

I don't think wearing cream/white is embarrassing - because to be embarrassed you have to agree that it's wrong (which I personally think its just an outdated silly rule) and i dont really care what others think guestwise...its no more their day than mine and most are my friends anyway! I was more concerned about upsetting the bride, which I'm still not sure she would be given her wedding outfit choices in the past however I will deff be making another shopping trip - as people have said its not worth the risk!

Thanks again for all your help smile

KT1366 Wed 15-May-13 19:29:48

Lissie sorry (replying with a mispelt name IS a rule I hate to break! Whoops xxx

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 19:46:56

KT, no worries, my phone autocorrects lissie to lassie.

Good luck shopping, I love shopping for wedding outfits!

OnlyGirlinmyHouse Wed 15-May-13 21:30:35

Sorry to hijack, but would you think this is ok for a wedding. I was planning to wear it with patent black peep toe shoes, patent black clutch bag & a white shrug/cardi with a lacy back. Have got some pearly/sparkly jewellery which goes with the white.

Not sure now though, having seen all these rules about colours not to wear!

OnlyGirl - that's fine. It's not all white/cream.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 22:29:56

Oh, that's gorgeous, and yes perfectly alright!

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 08:07:41

I found my dress on a website...just incase you were curious! m.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_58605+5550059304_-1 xxx

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 09:10:43

That's really pretty, but sadly, not for a wedding. Shame though! Do you like any of the dresses I've linked to? I am writing my style blog today, so trawling various clothes sites/shops, I can keep an eye out for you?

DailyNameChanger Thu 16-May-13 09:28:13

I got married 17 years ago and vaguely remember someone wearing a cream trouser and top set. Never occurred to me it was a problem! I think someone had a white jacket on too. I hope no on was giving them dirty looks! I hate weddings!

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Thu 16-May-13 09:43:03

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone wore white or cream to my wedding - as I said on the other thread, for all I recall, someone may well have. I was having far to good a time to notice or care.

I am a bit hmm at people who would be put out by it - it seems so precious.

However, to my mind, it's not the bride who's the problem; it's the guests. Guests spend way too much time standing around, knocking back champagne, noticing things....! It's an easy bitching topic for people who don't know each other very well to bond over, IYSWIM.

That dress is lovely, though. I'm sure there must be a way to make it wedding-acceptable...

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 10:14:12

i quite liked the oasis ones Lissie, the monsoon are perhapes a little old for me? or too sophisticated whichever way you want too look at it lol!

do you like any of these.......?

www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Floral-Coloured-Skater/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2934927&SearchQuery=asos%20floral%20skater&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Navy - White but floral? Would have to order to see length but model is very leggy!

www.asos.com/Warehouse/Warehouse-Mesh-Embroidered-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2964802&cid=6097&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Coral - not particulary my style (colour wise) but i dont hate it and guessing its suitable?

www.asos.com/Warehouse/Warehouse-Flower-Organza-Prom-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2964765&cid=6097&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Cream - i like this one, i think its classy. cream lace overlay though???

I ahve come to the conclusion whilst doing my google searchs that i am i colour phobe! all my wardrobe is black/cream/grey and muted colours. Maybe that is why i have struggled, colour scares me and some florals are nto to my taste either! just a picky girl i guess!

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 10:32:26

I love the second one, the third is very, very pretty, but I think its the same sort of problem. When is the wedding?

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 10:39:06
lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 10:41:18
KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 10:42:45

i have just ordered these to try...

http://www.asos.com//Asos/Asos-Shift-Dress-With-Frill-Sleeves/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2760759 - pretty i think

http://www.asos.com//Warehouse/Warehouse-Lace-Bodice-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2767667 - maybe a bit nude? i am a nude fiend

http://www.asos.com//Asos/Asos-Shift-Dress-In-Triangle-Jacquard/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2804363 - bit wowy! cant really tell fabric so ordered to see if it will look dressy enough.

also the coral one i put before.

2nd weekend in june so i have a bit of time. my plan of attack is order all i remotely like on CC (ouch) and return ones that are no good! luckily ASOS is free delivery free returns and 10% student discount!

i am going to find it hard to part with the cream one. wish i could afford to save for another occassion but sadly bank balance says not sad

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 10:44:09

LOVE the lydia bright one...being added to the basket as we speak thank you!

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 10:46:03
whatsleep Thu 16-May-13 10:48:28

The last one is stunning....

whatsleep Thu 16-May-13 10:49:56

Sorry more posts between so that didn't make sense! The one from warehouse, the nude one with cream overlay. Beautiful

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 10:50:19

yay! It's pale pinky beige, so not too bridal, and it'll be easy to accessorize too (tbh, I would stick with tan or nude accessories OR go for metallics)

I'm so glad you like it, its so, so pretty.

whatsleep Thu 16-May-13 10:53:50

asos is stunning if you like nude tones.

Vonnegut Thu 16-May-13 10:55:44

Summer wedding ideas here.

Interestingly, in the picture half way down this post, there's a group picture of a bride and her 11 female friends, all looking ridiculously happy and bonded, and 5 out of the 11 girls are wearing what could be described as a cream dress. Amazingly, no-one is making hairy eyes at them.

Just saying...

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 10:59:08

whatsleep really like that one too, sometimes midi lengths arent great on me but will order to try. what the heck my order is huge one more wont hurt!

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 11:08:37

Vonnegut i had never even heard of this rule - after the advice i have had i am going to edge on the side of caution however i do wonder if its something that varies by region/culture/class/religion etc perhapes? Neither my mum or nan thought it was an issue...and both quite traditional!

O well i am playing it safe!

Vonnegut Thu 16-May-13 11:13:02

I completely understand, KT1366 - you'd probably be massively self-conscious in cream now that you're aware of this 'rule'. Good luck with your choice - I'm sure you'll look fab smile

- V

whatsleep Thu 16-May-13 11:15:43

I'v got the same one in plum it's a lovely dress, it would be easy to get it shortened by a tailor. Hope your not going to the same wedding as me!!

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 11:36:18

I love this and this

Oh god! look at this clutch bag I'm in love wink

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 11:37:05
JeanPaget Thu 16-May-13 11:41:07

Glad you've decided to play it safe, I'd be very hmm if a guest wore white/cream to a wedding, even if the bride herself didn't care. It's just rude and attention grabby.

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 11:47:30
KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 11:51:20

Thanks Lissie you are an online shopping pro!

JeanPaget in the nicest possible way maybe it would be better if guests were less [hmmm] and more wine?

i will be far too busy enjoying myself, spending time with loved ones, drinking champagne and dancing to notice what anybody but the bride and groom are doing! after all if the so called 'rule' is about respect for the bride and the bride doesnt care surely its not really up2 the guests to judge? IMO anyway smile

Plus strangers that judge others that easily and have to bitch about others for 'bonding' can stay strangers if you ask me!

I am playing it safe purely for the bride and groom. they are both good friends and their happiness on the day is all that matters x

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 11:51:47

and this I love the blue in it.

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 11:55:07

KT, I am a googling genius! I do a bit on my blog about finding cheaper alternatives to designer goodies. I enjoy honing my craft wink

IKWYM, I'm sure you will have a good day, I feel your pain though, I have a wedding to go to in dec and the dress I fell in love with was cream, but, for various reasons, I've had to let it go.

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 11:57:32
lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 12:00:41
lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 12:02:31

apart from this

now, I've got to do some work

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 12:04:35

lissie the last one is beautiful... added to the list. you are bad for my CC!!!!

KT1366 Thu 16-May-13 12:05:18

me also. thanks again for your help!!!

lissieloo Thu 16-May-13 12:08:05

I'm just doing my bit for the economy at least thats what I tell dh when the statement comes

bottleofbeer Thu 16-May-13 12:12:06

I had a guest wear white (she did try in numerous ways to make my wedding all about her though) I actually wore red thankfully because in the big group photo you would have struggled to pick the bride out if I also had worn white. Year later she wore light cream to another wedding and threw a hissy fit that the bride was wise to her after her antics at mine and didn't allow her to do the things she'd done at mine.

It's just a no-no I'm afraid.

badtasteyoni Thu 16-May-13 12:14:23

Yes it's a no-no from me too.

Might be old-fashioned but the day is all about the Bride (and the groom - a bit grin) and rightly or wrongly a guest wearing white or cream is seen to detract from her.

fedupofnamechanging Thu 16-May-13 13:39:27

I have worn black to a wedding - it wasn't at all funereal. Ordinarily I'd steer clear of cream/white for someone else's wedding but I think if you wear a coloured jacket and shoes, the cream dress wouldn't look at all bridal. Maybe ask the bride?

JeanPaget Thu 16-May-13 13:58:42

Ha, the more wine I'd had, the more likely I'd be to comment on what I thought of your decision to wear white! wink

Badvoc Thu 16-May-13 14:24:56

I think I must be odd then.
As long as the guests aren't naked or actually wearing a replica of the brides dress I really can't see the issue tbh.
But I am obv in the minority!!

roseinwinter Thu 16-May-13 23:38:17

My MIL wore pale cream to my wedding! To be honest I didn't notice or care at the time, but when the photos came back I did think it was a bit odd.
I dont think she had any malicious motive but personally I wouldn't wear white or cream to a wedding.

Badvoc Fri 17-May-13 07:23:56

One of my guests wore all white.
White hat, shoes, coat the works.
Didn't even notice til the photos came back.
And even then I didn't give a crap smile

KT1366 Fri 17-May-13 11:40:43

badvoc... good attitude!

Badvoc Fri 17-May-13 11:46:10

I think so...some people are just weird about weddings.

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