I am sick of being fat and frumpy

(36 Posts)
ReculverTowers Wed 01-May-13 18:44:07

can you help me change please sad

I lost 4 stone a couple of years ago but I have put a stone and half back on and just cannot motivate myself at all but I really need to do it. I feel old and fat before my time.

I am only 35 but I am so short of money all the time I hardly ever get my hair cut/spend time or money on myself. How do you do it all on a budget?

I feel like i am having some sort of mid life crisis. This morning I bought myself some ripped jeans confused as I guessed I am not really that old and can get away with it. Yet I look at other women my age and they seem so much younger and care free. Is this my punishment for having teenage children in mid 30s.


Snog Wed 01-May-13 18:52:12

Try the 5:2
Very easy to stick to

minimumthebare Wed 01-May-13 20:45:08

Hi Reculver, wow, losing 4 stone is an amazing achievement in the first place, and 1.5 stone can be shifted within a few weeks if you really want to do it! Snog has suggested the 5:2 diet ('normal' eating for five days and fasting for two) - I have a blog post about following this diet here if you're interested in reading a bit more about it.

Sorry you're feeling low-if your budget is tight, do you have a local college that teaches beauty therapy or hairdressing? They usually have a salon in the college that does hair and beauty stuff incredibly cheaply (my local one charges 50p for an eyebrow wax, about £4 for a manicure or pedicure and £4 for a cut and blow dry. They also do free courses of 6 back massages or facials, if you agree to be a case study and fill in a questionnaire at the end of the course) If you don't have a college nearby, keep an eye on hairdressers windows, as they often have a notice up looking for models for free haircuts (eg Model needed Monday at 4 o'clock) which could be a good way of getting your hair cut-it can really boost how you feel! Another great morale booster is getting a cheap, pretty nail varnish and painting your nails-mine make me smile whenever I see them.

I can't really help with the clothes side of things, but perhaps someone else can advise you on those?

Hope you feel happier soon-why not look at some threads called 'princessing' in the archives-they have some great, affordable ways of improving how you look and feel smile

LEMisdisappointed Wed 01-May-13 20:47:02

You could cycle from reculver, to margate and back grin Tis a nice cycle and by jove you will know it if its a windy day smile

LEMisdisappointed Wed 01-May-13 20:50:20

I can't imagine putting your body into a faux diabetic state can be healthy - fast for two days a week??? whatever next?? Or you could do what i did when i had a teenager at 35, i got pregnant again grin maybe not! lol

losing 1.5 stone in a couple of weeks is a surefire way to pile it back on again the minute you start eating properly again. The best diets are ones that don't deprive you of anything, just eat healthily and increase your exercise regieme, you'll feel so much better for it.

minimumthebare Wed 01-May-13 21:12:59

It's actually a very well regarded way of losing or controlling weight, LEM-lots of research into health benefits in addition to weight loss.

The Big/slim/whatever weightloss section of MN is home to a busy and very long running series of threads about 5:2, and they have some great links if you're interested in reading more of the science behind it. This looks like the current thread-the first post has a summary of how it works.

Just to be very clear, I didn't suggest that 1.5 stone could be lost in a couple of weeks-when I said a few, I had an average weight loss of about 2-3lb a week in mind, which is a healthy and achievable loss (the first week, as with most diets, generally sees a greater loss than that).

Chubfuddler Wed 01-May-13 21:15:17

I will be your buddy. I've lost nearly four stone in the last year and a bit but I'm in a major plateau and need to lose about another 20 pounds. I'm 34.

We can do this. We could get that weight off in ooh 10 weeks I reckon? Shall we try?

Chubfuddler Wed 01-May-13 21:19:26

And I'm on a tight budget too. I dye my hair myself. Cut at supacuts every three months (I am growing it and trim the fringe myself). Pound land do a rip off version of the John frieda brunette shampoo and conditioner - it's really good. Clothes mostly charity shops/sainsburys or clearance/sales online, but I don't buy much especially in the last year as I've dropped through quite a few sizes (I was an 18, now a 12-14 depending on the shop).

Keep your hair brushed, your eyebrows groomed and light well applied make up and it makes a massive difference. Also not too much alcohol and lots of beauty sleep!

notnowbernard Wed 01-May-13 21:23:51

I recommend The Shred

A fiver inc p+p from Amazon

20 mins a day. It works

You'll feel better physically and mentally

Chubfuddler Wed 01-May-13 21:39:17

I tried the shred for a week recently. Plus a very healthy diet.

I gained 2lbs. I was not impressed.

Yonihadtoask Wed 01-May-13 21:42:45

chub I always gain weight when I re-start an exercise routine - It's because your muscles are sore and have retained water temporarily.

Good tip OP on offering yourself to be practiced on by the local beauty college. My colleague used to get her hair done there regularly - it was always fine.

I too rate the 5:2 eating plan. What can be cheaper than going without for 2 days a week ;)

Chubfuddler Wed 01-May-13 21:45:08

Really? There's a science thing to it? Ok maybe I will give it another go.

Southeastdweller Wed 01-May-13 21:46:43

Of course you should do the 5:2 WOL. You save lots of money, it's easy to do and there 's lots of support on here. Come and join us smile

Fluffycloudland77 Wed 01-May-13 21:57:55

The shreds £11 now, I reckon they put the price up towards summer, if you have unlimited broadband it's on youtube for free so I hear.

SavoyCabbage Wed 01-May-13 22:12:06

I recommend the shred too. I could see I had lost weight after just a week.

I dye my own hair too. And I've found a lovely local hairdresser who doesn't charge too much. I had my hair cut short after having it in a bod and it definitely makes my look more 'pulled together' as its in an actual style now.

I also had my ears pierced at age 38.

Go through the clothes and make up you have and start wearing what you've got.

notnowbernard Wed 01-May-13 22:35:38

Muscle weighs more than fat

That's the theory I'm working with anyway wink

Nehru Wed 01-May-13 23:58:17

You don't need to spend to lose weight

You can't turn fat into muscle.

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 08:49:18

I already have the shred, I did it a while ago and lost interest blush and arf! at cycling to Margate. I live way way over the bridge and tunnel now, it would take me a couple of days...

I have recently been approved for a swimming pass through a carers charity (I am a carer obv) which is amazing as I could never pay for one myself but I broke my coccyx a couple of months ago and I thought swimming would help me get fit again and my dd's social worker applied for a grant for me and they approved it, which is bloody amazing BUt i am yet to pick it up and I am already stressing about wearing a swimming costume. gah. Actually mentioning the coccyx, I think it is when I started putting weight back on and feeling unmotivated as I couldn't do any exercise for weeks and weeks and even now if I walk too far it can ache and I feel a bit unstable.

I will look at the 5:2, thank you smile

Re. the hairdresser, I will look at my local college, what a great idea. My eyebrows look AWFUL atm sad and my hair but it's nearly £50 a cut locally to me. We do have a super cuts in the next town that people queue up to get into. Are they okay then?

Thanks for all the advice

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 08:53:14

omg, thank you SO much. A quick google has found the local college does have a salon and it's only £10 for a wash, cut and blow dry, £4 for a eyebrow wax and shape
what a revelation! shock grin
oh i love you all

minimumthebare Thu 02-May-13 09:14:32

That's great, phone them now and get an appointment booked in! I also have the shred, and manage a day or so every now and then, then my legs hurt and I give up-this thread has inspired me to dust it off and give it another go!

The swimming pass sounds brilliant too, and I don't think anyone really feels super confident in a swimming costume-everyone is there to get a bit fitter, so try not to worry too much about how you look.

You sound much happier this morning, it's a gorgeous sunny day here, I hope you have lovely weather and a positive day smile

MonkeyingAroundTown Thu 02-May-13 09:15:30

Hi. I am also 35 and felt exactly like you do now. I lost my post pregnancy weight quite quickly following the birth of my lo. But ended up putting back on over half a stone by pigging out and going for the easy but not so healthy option for lunch and tea. Ie biscuits, crisps, chocolate etc. I felt like I had let everything go as I stopped looking after myself. My hair was shit, my skin pale and tired looking, and so on.

Anyway I decided to start looking after myself and my spur on was my return to work. I didn't want colleagues thinking I had let myself go since having a baby. Plus I think also becoming a mum too I wanted to look good and start taking care of myself.

I downloaded my fitness app on my mobile and restricted myself to 1400 calories a day. And 15 Weeks later I was 22 pound later. I am now a size 8/10.

I have also started taking some evening primrose oil capsules and vitamin c tablets to help with my skin. I fake tan to give myself a bit of colour. I have my eyebrows waxed every three weeks. I am looking into a new hair cut too as I have had the same style for years (long and straight). I am also in the process of trying to sort a skin condition out with the help of my gp which I have had for years but fed up of just putting up with it.

Because I have lost weight though I need a whole new wardrobe but I am crap at buying clothes as I don't know what looks good on me. I always end up with Jeans!

But if I were you give yourself a goal. I found that making a list in my head of what I wanted to change spurred me on (weight, hair, skin, eyebrows, teeth). You can do it! You will feel so much better once you are happier with yourself. It does take time though. I started my diet just after Christmas and am at my goal 15 weeks later.

MonkeyingAroundTown Thu 02-May-13 09:16:33

Sorry meant 22 pounds lighter!

ppeatfruit Thu 02-May-13 09:24:25

Look at the Paul Mckenna Way of Eating: I've got to my target size 10 on it and I'm maintaining (you can get the booksetc. on Amazon) its the best because it changes your attitude to food and doesn' t involve fasting or calorie counting or humiliating meetings or (best of all) diet low fat shxx food!!! grin

Fluffycloudland77 Thu 02-May-13 09:30:23

I'm a size 8, I feel self conscious in swim wear. It's practically underwear fgs.

I have two bikinis I've never worn. I stick to a nice safe cossie. You know where you are in a cossie.

MonkeyingAroundTown Thu 02-May-13 09:31:59

I also dye my hair myself and have a friend who is a really good hairdresser who cuts my hair for only 15 pound.

Can I just add that my fitness pal is the easiest and best way of losing weight I have ever tried and I have done a lot of diets over the years. I didn't do any exercise to help with my weight loss. I just did some toning up at home when I saw the weight coming off as my skin seemed to be sagging. I do 50 Push ups on a chair for my bingo wings, squats for 50 seconds to help with my flabby thighs, 50 seconds of the plank for my jelly belly and 50 sit ups. I try to do this daily ( only takes about ten mins) but most off the time its every other day as I forget.

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 09:54:05

you are all very good getting to a size 8-10. I am not sure that is acheivable for me though as I am 5 9 1/2 5 10. i am quite happy with a size 12-14 tbh! but atm I am in a tight 14 and a size 16 and it's bloody depressing.

yy re swimwear <sigh> I contemplated buying one of those costumes in m&s with the skirt on but then decided I would just look silly

MonkeyingAroundTown Thu 02-May-13 10:00:28

You don't need to be a size 8/10 just whatever size you feel better about yourself with. How much do you currently weigh?

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 10:03:13

13 stone <sigh>

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 10:14:30

Right I have made an appointment to have my hair done and eyebrows waxed and shaped at my local college salon on Tuesday !

she couldn't fit me in a for moustache wax at the same time...

so that's a startsmile

BiddyPop Thu 02-May-13 10:24:58

I'm 38 and stuck between 11.5 to 13.5 st for the past 10 years. Occasionally I manage to lose a bit and move back towards the 11 (I want to be 10.5 ideally), but then life interferes and I get back over 13.

With a coccyx problem, swimming might well be a great way to move without putting pressure on it. And not just doing lengths (I used to plan my current garden needs and design my dream house as ways to overcome boredom doing lengths - I don't do underwater music!!). But do some other exercises when in the water - sideways stretches, running on the spot (a lot less pressure with the water buoyancy) etc. If they have an aquafit type class, go once to get an idea of what would be good and then do it yourself on your own trips. And don't worry about your swimsuit - everyone (even those who have great bodies) have some hangups about it and most people are too busy concentrating on getting their own stuff done to look at other people anyway. There's all shapes and sizes in the pool at my gym grin

Add lots of veg into your food if you can - if you're having pasta with a tomato sauce and chicken, add in some mushrooms, peppers, courgette and peas for example. Or cauliflower chunks and carrots and mushrooms to a curry sauce, along with your meat. Do you eat salad at all? Add a bowl of leaves to the side of meals, or a few tomatoes, or nibble on olives rather than crisps.

My lunches at least 3 times a week for work are a salad bowl - but I hate dressing and am hungry, so it's: 2 carrots in large rings, half a pepper in pieces, handful each of sugarsnap peas, olives, cherry tomatoes, handful of lettuce shredded (I like romaine for a bit of flavour) and half an avocado if i have some (i only buy when on special). Avodado has some fat, but it's very good for you. If' I need more than that, I have packets of breadsticks in my desk to nibbble on.

And if you are hoping to lose weight, perhaps don't buy too many clothes for now - concentrate on accessories instead if you are buying anything. A nice scarf over plain white t-shirt and stright jeans makes a plain outfit look chic, some nice earrings or a belt can also change the look of something. Find things about you that you are happy and comfortable with, and highlight those with jewellery (doesn't have to be expensive) or other accessories, and that will often minimise bits that you don't like.

And on clothes, try to dress for the size you currently are (and suiting your body shape). Not the one you hope to be (and if possible, not the larger one you were). Dressing the right size and shape can actually take POUNDS off how you look (I had a suit once in a size that fitted me well rather than pulled tight or hanging baggy, but was also long line so drew the eye up and down rather than sideways - a few girls asked where I'd bought it as they loved it (chainstore) but were ASTONISHED when I said what size it was, thinking it was 2 and sometimes 3 sizes smaller!!)

BiddyPop Thu 02-May-13 10:27:54

Just realised you had your sizes there - I am currently wearing size 18 clothes (and have had 20) but aiming to get back through 16 to 14. My DREAM would be a 12. But meanwhile, I will stay as healthy as I can, get what exercise I can fit in (I hate gym and don't generally have time, but I swim a few lengths once a week and do a fair bit of walking), and dress to suit what I am NOW. And work on getting better over time - but I know I need to be happy about current things or I will end up eating for comfort and that is no help at all.

Fluffycloudland77 Thu 02-May-13 10:30:52

At 5,10 you'd look a bit too thin at a size 8. My gorgeous-every-man-stares-as-she-walks-by friend was 5,10 and a 14. She was slim but her frame was too big to be an 8 or a 10.

Eyebrow shaping is brilliant imo.

paintyourbox Thu 02-May-13 10:39:05

Wow, 4 stone! What an incredible achievement! Pat yourself on the back that you've cut your risk of type 2 diabetes and our risk of heart disease massively.

How about yoga?! There are lots of cheap DVDs out there and it's great for toning and strength, I have a yoga DVD that I don't use anymore (going to classes bow) so if you would like it, PM me your address and I will post it.

I find that applying a body moisturiser every day makes me feel really great. It doesn't matter what I weigh, having smooth skin makes so much difference.

Since summer is coming up, how about a DIY pedicure to get your feet flip-flop ready?

I make a homemade foot scrub by mixing olive oil and a teaspoon of brown sugar. I rub it onto dry feet then soak them in warm water for 10 minutes or so. Then cut/file my nails, remove any stains on the nails with a little lemon juice and apply a colour. Follow that with a moisturiser and go to bed with cotton socks on- wake up with gorgeous feet!

minimumthebare Thu 02-May-13 10:57:39

Also Superdrug have a brilliant range called Make Up Academy (MUA) where everything costs £1-£3, so you could have a completely new make up look for less than £10!

Eyebrow pencil-£1
Nail varnish-£1

Make Up Academy

ReculverTowers Fri 03-May-13 15:12:33

Thank you for all of the advice smile

I am going to get a bit of sun this weekend (ha!) and start the healthy living ....Tuesday but I am being good, today i have had salad and strawberries

I think the new me begins on Tuesday all round!

busyboysmum Fri 03-May-13 17:30:57

Above tips all brill, would also recommend boot sales for clothes, I go every Sunday and always get bargainous stuff. Jeans are often £1 or £2 a pair, tops 50p. Have a look at some current trends you think would suit then look out for them.

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