I know what dadsy looks like and it ain't pretty....

(78 Posts)
Chandon Tue 30-Apr-13 10:52:24

just for the sake of fairness and equal bashing, let's talk about really bad dadsy styles.

So, I will start: grown men in shorts and crocs. Cute on 3 year old, but I always flinch slightly seeing an acquaintance thus attired.

Men look so much better in nice long trousers or jeans, and closed toe shoes. ( big white hairy feet in sandals......NOOOOOOO)

But clearly they do not carevto dress to impress me, bastards...

So what is your definition of dadsy?

Hopefully Tue 30-Apr-13 10:54:12
YoniYoniNameLeft Tue 30-Apr-13 10:55:58

Simon's dad in The Inbetweeners. He is what I would think of for Dadsy.

Chandon Tue 30-Apr-13 10:56:35

That is better than crocs, IMO

Much less offensive

MarshaBrady Tue 30-Apr-13 10:57:27

Flip flops

Shorts with side pockets

T shirts with semi ironic pictures

VivaLeBeaver Tue 30-Apr-13 10:58:06

Brown slacks and a short blue anorak is what my dad tends to wear.

Dh wears awful dad jeans. Really untrendy ones in the same style as he's worn for 25 years. But he's happy.

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 11:00:52

Fat Face sweatshirt one size too big with cargo trousers and trainers.

MolotovCocktail Tue 30-Apr-13 11:02:22

Dadsy - definitely trickier to define than Mumsy, IMO.

I would say however, that Dadsy is chinos with open-toe sandals and a nice sensible T-shirt from Matalan.

Just for a laugh, I saw a heavily-suntanned, silver-haired man who I'd age as late-40's, rollerblading with (who I assumed were) his 2 teenage daughters and chihuahua wearing:

1) a cerise pink sweater with a blue check shirt underneath.
2) short shorts

Now there's a dude desperate to break out of the Dad Brigade grin

CambridgeBlue Tue 30-Apr-13 11:02:24

I just posted this on the Mumsy thread...

I do think there is a 'Dadsy' look and I know this because my DH wears it. It's not his fault bless him but he moved into a job where the dress code excludes jeans but isn't smart enough for a nice suit. He ends up in sort of chino trousers (but not the trendy kind because he's 40 odd and doesn't want to dress like a teenager) with a plain or checked shirt and lace-up shoes - it's the Mumsy look encapsulated for men - comfy, inoffensive but rather dull and unflattering. I don't think any of his friends or colleagues have either noticed or could give a toss though.

I also think too much outdoor wear worn for occasions when you're not doing anything active - most things from Trespass/Blacks etc. And anything that can be bought from the back pages of the Sunday supplement. But if you're buying clothes from there I think you're a lost cause really smile

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Apr-13 11:10:03

DH is the epitome of dadsy. Lots of Rocha.JohnRocha (shirts made from blouse fabric), M&S North Coast jeans (safe, but slightly trendier than Blue Harbour to his mind), Joules bodywarmer ("Designer, this is"), Camper trainerish shoes, always has to have a collar because T-shirts are for 'youths'. He always looks presentable, to be fair to him.

YoniTime Tue 30-Apr-13 11:25:01

Fat Face sweatshirt one size too big with cargo trousers and trainers.
These men are ten a penny where I live and personally it makes me want to weep. Because every man can look good with a bit of effort and imagination. All men have something beautiful about them. All of us have good points we can emphasise.

But hey, I get it that some people care a lot less than others. And I'm sure that many of these men are perfectly content with themselves and their lives and would just rather spend the time they could be using to style their hair and put some thought into their clothes and make-up, doing something else. Fair enough.

(Shamelessly stolen/sex switched from the other thread, sorry I thought this thread needed it too grin)

AgeingFop Tue 30-Apr-13 11:33:40

Just posted on the other thread before I noticed this one. I'm guilty of the "dadsy" look at work, but try harder at the weekend!

Like the OP, I avoid crocs - vile on anyone. I also avoid open-toed sandals and flip-flops. This does rather restrict summer footwear! Currently investigating espadrilles.

I'll do shorts when it's very hot, but the slim-fitted to-the-knee ones, not baggy cargo ones.

woozlebear Tue 30-Apr-13 11:35:18

Way to go. Let's make up for making one lot of people feel bad about their appearance by doing it to another group as well confused.

Oh I get it, it's ironic and tongue in cheek and funny.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 11:40:30

dexter that's my DH lol. Just replace the trainers with hiking boots. And add fleeces for winter. Or add a waterproof jacket if it's raining. He's in the same clothes all year round.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 11:42:24

BTW, he's improved slightly after all these years together. Now he has two pairs of hiking boots. One without mud and crap for going out, and another pair for when it could get dirty hmm

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Apr-13 11:42:47

It's not tongue in cheek or ironic to me. My husband dresses like all of his friends. I dress like all of my friends. We're all mums and dads. There's no shame in wanting to be comfortable in reasonable quality clothing grin

Yep, my DH is definitely 'dadsy'. Especially according to this thread. He won't wear jeans and has a lot of John Rocha. He also has a jacket from Gap with elbow patches.

In fact, those jackets in sort of suit-y grey tweed, that aren't suit jackets? Those are dadsy.

No crocs, though.

I don't see what's wrong with it, though. He looks nice and comfy and I think he would be quite pleased to think he looked dadsy, TBH. He enjoys being prematurely middle aged. grin

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Apr-13 11:43:58

I love the spare hiking boots 'for best', OLTT grin

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 11:44:50

It's virtually every dh here, OneLittleToddleTerror! I don't think it helps that the only mens clothes shop in my town is Fat Face. I think it looks ok it is just that they all wear it!

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 11:45:59

My dh has 'going out' trainers and 'everyday' trainers.

EarlyInTheMorning Tue 30-Apr-13 11:46:14

Are our DHs 'dadsy' because we dress them? I mean, I buy most of my DH's clothes because he absolutely detests shopping. Anything too trendy or fashionable or over-styled or with visible logos will have to be returned. So yes, chinos and unoffensive fat face shirts/tops tends to be the 'uniform'.

Nope. DH was 'dadsy' when I met him at 21. smile

YoniTime Tue 30-Apr-13 11:47:38

That quote sounds strange when you replace the sexes doesn't it?
I picked it because I think it shows a common attitude to women and looks. We are all beautiful, we should show our beauty...but what about men, are they beautiful, should they show their beauty?
Men simply aren't supposed to work on their looks and beauty are they, but women are. Men aren't judged like that. Will a man instead be judged if he wears pretty clothes?
I think I'm also getting a bit too deep for my own shallow brain so i better stop now.

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 11:48:33

I don't buy my dh any clothes - not for birthday or Christmas or any reason. He chooses all his own clothes, and has a penchant for t-shirts with various cycling images on them! He hates shopping too so only buys clothes when absolutely necessary.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Apr-13 11:48:45

My son is already dadsy. He's still in junior school. It's born into the men in DH's family.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Apr-13 11:50:03

My DH is terrified of Dadsy....he actually asks me "Do I look Dadsy today?"

He wears nice shirts and jeans generally...he's a lot more stylish than me. I live in skinny jeans, boots and a gilet with an arse covering top. Except when I am home and can release my poor scarred midsection from the skinnes....then I wear Primark pjs.


isitsnowingyet Tue 30-Apr-13 11:51:24

Good point and well said yoniTime

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 11:53:50

Early DH buys his own clothes. When he goes shopping, he'll buy multiple of the same cargo trousers. And then two years later, the same shop will still sell the same cargo trousers, which he'll buy another 2. He has 3 black berghaus fleeces. I think two are thinner and one thickner. They are all hang at our entrance. Ditto with the hiking boots. It's always the same pair from berghaus (or they look the same to me). He complains when they stop selling his favourite trousers or fleeces.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 11:55:47

And DH has multiple drawers of t-shirts. There's one drawer for slightly nicer looking ones. Then they get retired to the lounging around home drawer. And finally end up in the DIY/sleepwear drawer.

AuntieStella Tue 30-Apr-13 12:07:14

Remember the Hugh Dennis sketch about the awful embarrassment of a Dad dancing? I think that involved a brown cardigan and slacks.

It's the cardigan, or it's modern equivalent, the zipped fleece, that shows the first surrender to Dadness.

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 12:07:51

However my dh spends an absolute fortune on his cycling clothes and everything has to be coordinated and is very expensive. Maybe I should make him take me out in his lycra shock!!

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 12:11:26

dexter my DH clothes are very expensive too. He buys them from active wear shop like cotswold outdoors. He has those fancy cyclewear too, though he's not into lycra exactly. Just the cycle jackets, the underlayers, the hats, gloves. Said hiking boots I mocked are waterproof. Which he took great pleasure in telling me when it's raining.

Spending a lot on clothes doesn't stop them looking dadsy. It's an eye and care for fashion they are lacking grin

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 12:12:24

The old practical and functional approach to clothing grin

SignoraStronza Tue 30-Apr-13 12:14:58

My dh is in no ways 'dadsy'. In fact, he frightens small children despite the fact he's a brilliant dad, great with kids and a total softy

Badvoc Tue 30-Apr-13 12:18:16

Everything from m and s blue harbour smile

Startail Tue 30-Apr-13 13:05:01

"Everything from m and s blue harbour" Yes and the Debenhams equivalent, Maine.

That's, DH!

Why? because he never ever buys his own clothes never has in 25 years.

These places are guaranteed to fit, wear reasonably well, have no logo's he might not like and don't coast too much.

DH would much rather turn His clothes money into "Geek" (electrical, computing and technical stuff of every possible kind).

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 13:19:38

Why do some men not buy their own clothes? That seems very strange to me.

Badvoc Tue 30-Apr-13 13:39:41

My dh loves blue harbour smile
I wear boot cut jeans and have been known to wear a fleece if its cold out.
So we are mumsy and dadsy smile

DontmindifIdo Tue 30-Apr-13 13:44:14

Yonitime, that was funny.

Some men (like DH) really struggle with "smart-casual". It's very hard to avoid chinos, polo shirt, in a place with a smart-casual code. It suits the tall and slim but less so everyone else.

DontmindifIdo Tue 30-Apr-13 13:45:22

(I don't buy clothes for DH, I'm not his mum)

SomethingOnce Tue 30-Apr-13 13:50:18

One variant is pushing 50 and still dressing like your 8yo skater DS.

DialsMavis Tue 30-Apr-13 13:51:08

My DP wears the same type of clothes he wore a decade ago. He is rapidly running out of places to buy them from! He thinks he is too old to wear skinny jeans, brogues , plimsolls etc but too young to look boring and smart. He wears skate trainers (not too chunky, not too slim), baggyish jeans, t shirts (usually from threadless), nice jumpers and a snow boarding coat. He is stuck in the no mans land of the mid 30s scruff bag grin.

GibberTheMonkey Tue 30-Apr-13 13:56:25

So just like all the mumsy thread. Don't wear this don't wear that. What are they supposed to wear?

My dh wears dark jeans, shirts or polo shirts (we argue about the polo shirts) joules rugby style jumpers and josef siebel rigger boots.
It's bland and probably dadsy but its also respectable and he feel comfortable in it. He would look at dick if he tried to be fashionable

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 14:02:56

Thisisaeuphemism my DH's idea of smart casual is a casual shirt, his usual cargo trousers with his 'going out' hiking boots. If it's cold, he'll add a fleece. Ditto the raincoat. Basically it's his normal clothes, but swapping the t-shirt for shirts.

The shirts look like

elfycat Tue 30-Apr-13 14:10:14

<laughing> DH (43) loves those fat face tops in the first link, with M&S chino trousers and then quite nice shoes - not lace ups as they make his feet look like boats. And he probably is Dadsy and was long before the DDs came along. But he feels good in those tops. He tried one on and his face lit up at the comfort and weight of the material and that's probably why it works and is right for him.

He's one of those big-bear type men. Barrel chested, bit of a tummy, 6ft 4inch tall. The look suits him. If he wore trendy jeans and naice t-shirts he'd look terrible.

DebsMorgan Tue 30-Apr-13 14:13:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dexter73 Tue 30-Apr-13 14:13:49

They bloody love those FF tops don't they?!! That is why I said it was dad style, because so many of them wear it. I think they look good but it just amuses me sometimes when you see a group of the dads at an event and they are all wearing the same top (but maybe in a slightly different colour)!

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 14:17:36

Hey nobody says they don't look good. The clothes just speak DAD.

This is a tongue in cheek companion to the mumsy one. I doubt our DH cares a bit whether they look dadsy!

GibberTheMonkey Tue 30-Apr-13 14:23:43

I don't know the mumsy ones are very disparaging and this was paired with them

Startail Tue 30-Apr-13 14:33:31

When and how do men buy their own clothes?

There's no where near work. If I sit DH down with the next catalogue he just turns to the women's underwear or the cameras. He just isn't interested.

I can't conceive of DH choosing to go to town at the weekend unless he took me and the girls shopping with him. Then he happily walks around all day looking at women and children's clothes, TVs, computers, cameras, chocolate, books etc. He has to be forcibly pushed into men's shops.

I married him straight off a postgrad course and all he wore as a student was what his mother bought him and DMIL was as disinterested in clothes as he is so this was checked shirts, some plastic easy wash M&S trousers in bright colours and several thick knitted jumpers because his parents house was freezing. Oh and a horrible washable suit.

The only nice clothes he owned was a proper dinner suit, shoes, shirt and collage bow tie. He looked very good in them, but I could hardly take him down the pub.

Thus I've just taken over DH clothes buying and now DD2 joins in.

If I stopped buying him clothes tomorrow, he'd just wear what he's got until it fell apart. The only thing he might buy is white shirts and dark trousers to look acceptable for work, but that is it.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 14:35:12

startail I work full time. I manage to buy my own clothes. DH works full time too. He also manages. If no one buys their clothes, they'll do it. It's just like children.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 30-Apr-13 14:35:47

I mean, do single men fail to buy clothes just because they have a demanding job?

SugarMiceInTheRain Tue 30-Apr-13 14:39:46

My DH used to wear Buffy T-shirts and wolf T-shirts when I met him <weeps> hence I now choose his clothes - and yes I threw out the dodgy t-shirts. I'll take Dadsy-style clothes (whatever they are) over that any day.

Fillyjonk75 Tue 30-Apr-13 14:45:18

DH likes clothes shopping - for himself. Does most online now though.

He loves clothes but isn't interested in fashion. A bit like me, though I do have a passing interest. Getting good quality expensive clothes and shoes at a fraction of the price is his bag. I'd say his style is "Gentleman". A bit old fashioned, classic, dapper. There may be an overlap with dadsy in some aspects. For work all his suits are designer at hugely reduced prices. All his work shirts are double cuffed to be worn with cufflinks. All his ties are silk. He does look very smart.

LadyBigtoes Tue 30-Apr-13 14:51:42

I totally disagree that men can't, or aren't supposed to care about clothes. Just like some women, some men follow the herd and look boring, others express more individuality through their clothes.

I think dadsy is straight blue jeans, those floppy pointy-toed trainers, rugby or polo tops and vaguely sports-esque/partially knitted jacket-cardie hybrids.

I lOVE it when I see a man doing bright pink cords, a velvet jacket and a bow tie, or tweed, or hippy craziness.

SorrelForbes Tue 30-Apr-13 15:07:35

Luckily DH wears a uniform for work as he is completely uninterested in clothes and would happily live in sailing gear.

His wardrobe consists of Berghaus jackets, Brasher boots or deck shoes, FF tops (as linked to upthread), moleskin trousers, Gap jeans, polo shirts and rugby tops from Crew.

Chandon Tue 30-Apr-13 16:01:08

Actually, those Rocha john Rocha shirts that look like blouses....they are horrid! I associate it with lefty dadsy types, for some reason.

Flowery horrors. my eyes!

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Apr-13 16:04:27

Oh yes, DH accessorises the John Rocha blouses with a Guardian poking out of his brown leather satchel. He is the man you're imagining.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Wed 01-May-13 01:25:30

I mean, do single men fail to buy clothes just because they have a demanding job?

Well my DH did used to only buy clothes once every 2 years (still does). In fact, today is the day of his bi-annual spree (Public holiday here). He will go to GAP and buy 2 pairs of longish beige shorts (with side pockets, natch), some polo shirts and 3 casual shirts, of which at least 2 will be pale blue. He may splash out on another pair of relaxed fit jeans. Other than socks and pants, that'll be him sorted for the next 24 mths.

For work he gets his suits and shirts made and his more casual stuff from GANT.

At weekends, all the dads here wear the same shorts with flip flops or deck shoes, apart from the french dads who wear knee-length nicely pressed shorts with a belt grin and a polo shirt (never seen a French dude without a collar)

My 40+ year old xp has recently overhauled his wardrobe.

He can now be seen around town with the following fashion combination (yes all as one outfit)

Black/royal blue f&f t shirt
Dog poo brown cargo pants with elasticated bottoms
Black and purple 'Vans' hi tops or skin tone canvas shoes
Little waterproof fabric jacket 3 sizes too small
Leather 'braclet' thing
Coloured charity bracelet/band thing.
Wrist to elbow tattoo.

Can some please advise me. Is this 'dadsy' or 'mid life crisis y'???

Ujjayi Wed 01-May-13 07:07:44

I think the definitions of "Dadsy" expressed in this thread are very specific to UK. DH is Dutch, very stylish and would rather go naked than wear Fat Face grin

Back2Two Wed 01-May-13 07:33:01

grin at Edwina. Dog poo brown is so fetching.

Leafmould Wed 01-May-13 07:50:10

Yoni time. Interesting comment. I definately read it 2 times when you said about each man's individual beauty......

DebsMorgan Wed 01-May-13 08:00:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Get this right...dog poo brown. Combined with blue black and purple...

GibberTheMonkey Wed 01-May-13 08:39:29


So what does he wear? My dh wants to look stylish but doesn't have an innate sense of style so I'm afraid I've guided him towards dadsy to help him feel comfortable. I just don't know what a 30-40 something man would look stylish in unless they really did do something a bit different and out there. I do know men who looks stylish and different but they are very individual and its definitely a matter of taste.

LadyBigtoes Wed 01-May-13 09:07:56

Yes there's no point being "out there" if it's not you. But your DH could just maybe buy some men's mags or style mags that appeal to him and just leaf through for ideas - if a shirt or jacket leaps out and really appeals to him, that would give him an idea of what he might like to try. There's no need to spend loads - if he can find brands/designers he likes, he can then see what's around by them on ebay.

AgeingFop Wed 01-May-13 11:53:56

Slightly bemused hearing that many men don't buy their own clothes in this day and age. It's something I associate with my Dad's generation - and I'm in my forties.

Myself, my brother and I'm sure my male friends all buy the majority of their own clothes. Not to say that DW doesn't buy me clothes as a present, but if I need new everyday or work clothes I'll do it myself. If I'm shopping, then I may take her with me for a second opinion.

freddiefrog Wed 01-May-13 12:50:35

DH definately has a uniform

Jeans or chinos or long shorts (with the aforementioned pockets grin)
Checked (usually blue) short or long sleeved shirt

Smarter jeans
Slightly 'out there' shirt
Black shoes

He works from home so doesn't do smart-smart

He wears the same thing every day, any suggestions from me to deviate is met with disdain.

He does do his own shopping, although its usually a few more checked shirts and another pair of jeans

He looks alright, doesn't give a toss about clothes or how he dresses, and I'm just grateful if he hasn't sniffed it before putting it on

Fuckitthatlldo Wed 01-May-13 13:25:50

Me? I like a snappy dresser. A man who dresses well and looks after himself stands out, and is instantly more attractive.

But I beg to differ on the shorts and sandals combo. If the man in question is in good shape with nice skin, and he wears a wears a nice shirt with his shorts, then it can look just fine IMO.

Not short shorts though. Good god, no.

DebsMorgan Wed 01-May-13 14:05:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fillyjonk75 Wed 01-May-13 19:38:05

I love DH in shorts and sandals and try to persuade him to wear them as much as possible in the summer. He has really good legs and nice feet, no manky toes!

Maat Wed 01-May-13 19:52:11

DH buys his own clothes.

He goes out twice a year - spring and autumn and buys whatever is cheapest and covers his body.

I can't even define him as "dadsy". He's in a class of his own and not in a good way

MadBusLady Wed 01-May-13 20:06:29

I think DP looks timelessly good, and I really wish I had his shopping habits. He has a range of jeans and tweedy trousers, with all types and colours of shirts, a few good jumpers and cardigans in black, grey, navy, maroon, teal, brown etc, with a tweed or linen jacket (generally photographer rather than blazer shaped), or a wool overcoat in winter. He only has a few pairs of shoes but they cost eye-watering amounts of money.

He doesn't mess about with shopping, couple of times a year he goes somewhere ruinously expensive and buys one thing. Couple more times a year he buys out Ted Baker's entire shirt stock. That's it. He doesn't stress about it, he just knows what works, and looks good. The swine.

For reasons I have yet to fully work out, this totally falls apart when we go on holiday.

Maat Wed 01-May-13 20:09:38

MadBusLady I envy your DH, but more for myself.

I really wish I could clothes shop in that manner. Knowing what suits me and investing in some good pieces that just need topping up a couple of times a year.

Maat Wed 01-May-13 20:11:39

Apologies - DP not DH.

MadBusLady Wed 01-May-13 20:13:13

Same here, Maat. I just do a panicky sweaty-palmed thing in Dorothy Perkins/Zara/Topshop every other month and end up taking most of it back.

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