i have £100 to spend, I'm a size 16-18 and I'm so depressed with my size / shape / clothes i don't want to leave the house....

(50 Posts)
Fairylea Wed 24-Apr-13 20:28:09

So help me.

I have put on a lot of weight in the 10 months since ds was born (was size 10 before). He is my second child and I now have a big wobbly stomach that looks like I have two tiers when I wear jeans so I can't wear plain tops as it shows underneath them.

I recently spent money on some tops and jeans only to feel I have wasted the money as everything just looks awful. sad I think I am still trying to dress like a size 10 and it's not working sad

I know I need to get out and walk more to lose the weight but I hate the way I look so much that I'm hardly going out except for the school run for dd or to the park for ds two mins down the road.

So what can I buy? What should I be wearing?

I'm 5ft 7, apple shaped sad and size 16-18 with average size boobage.

Thanks for ideas in advance. I feel very lost.

Hopefully Wed 24-Apr-13 20:38:19

You poor thing, it's crap when you feel uncomfortable with your size. Is it worth buying a couple of non-size related things (scarves, shoes) and going on a bit of kick-start diet to lose a few lbs before you invest in more clothing? Only if you're thinking of losing it - if you know full well you're going to be that size for a while, then definitely invest in a few bits and bobs that will make you feel ok about it.

Cherrypie32 Wed 24-Apr-13 20:47:41

I agree with the post above. I am currently a size 16 after 2 kids, I was a size 12 on my wedding day 6 years ago. I love clothes and shopping but have got to the point where nothing I like looks good anymore and I don't enjoy the shopping experience any more. So I have just taken out a gym membership and am going to aim to lose a stone before I buy anymore clothes. You could put your money toward something like that or a couple of classes, or join a slimming club maybe? Buy some nice scarves/ accessories, get your hair done as a quick fix but promise to buy something nice as a reward for losing the weight maybe grin

PoohBearsHole Wed 24-Apr-13 20:54:38

Ok, have the tummy wobble so can I suggest the following

With this cover the tummy wobble?

Don't say anything rude as have both blush

Fairylea Wed 24-Apr-13 21:20:00

Oooh thank you, I like the bits on those links... I wouldn't have gone for those trousers as I would have thought they'd cut right across my cake shelf (!) But you say they don't..? Ooo smile

Thanks for the ideas about accessories. Not a bad idea really. I just don't seem to be able to shift this weight and to be honest I can't see it happening until ds starts nursery at 2-3 (by which time I might need a crane to remove me from the house hmmm) as I have literally no family support, no one to watch the dc forme and dh works 8-10 most days!

I have got a couple of fitness DVDs but by the time dd goes to bed at 9pm I'm ready to collapse on the sofa.

So I'm assuming I'm destined to be this size for a while. I'm not even over eating -Im calorie counting and eating about 1800 calories most days. I eat properly and healthily as dc are so demanding.

Thanks for the ideas...

PoohBearsHole Wed 24-Apr-13 21:30:23

Not that I am great person to follow but if you do ironing try doing squats whilst you are doing it, put things away twice etc so lift tin to put in the cupboard then take it back down and lift it again?
I take to dog for late night walks and tend to take music with me and dance down the road blush

Fairylea Wed 24-Apr-13 21:41:27

Haha! smile I love the image of someone doing a moonlit dance down the road with the dog... !

Oddly enough I have just done the ironing.. I never iron at all so just thought it would keep me standing and burn a few cals. I might do some squats next time too.

Now if only I could find some things I might not inwardly groan at when I go to put them on in the morning!

I know how you're feeling fairy though my weight gain is due to medication not pregnancy. Be kind to yourself, beating yourself up about your weight won't make you feel any better and/or motivate you to lose it, you'll just convince yourself that you'll stay big no matter what and won't even try.

Now, clothes wise, if you really want to buy some now, go for high rise jeans so they hold you in, no low rise or you'll get muffin top. Lots of stretchy vests and long and short sleeve t-shirts that can be layered up depending on the weather (primark is excellent for them) Wrap dresses are a good choice as they nip you in at the waist, New Look has a really nice one in plain black at the minute. Stretchy leggings to wear with said wrap dresses. Scarves are a cheap way of brightening up a simple outfit and they can be bought cheap as chips in places like Primark. Most importantly of all, whatever you buy, no matter the size, make sure it fits. You can shave off the appearance of a couple of dress sizes if everything fits properly.

Hope you start to feel better about yourself soon smile

PoohBearsHole Wed 24-Apr-13 21:52:22

And always go a bit bigger in dresses if you can so they hang better! Nothing worse than bra back overhang smile

ExRatty Wed 24-Apr-13 22:29:14

Lose the weight. You can easily do a dress size every size weeks.
In the meanwhile decent spanx, light layering loosish shirt.
Play up tits and pins, if good, whilst middle shrinks

Or accept roundy. It isn't bad you just aren't used to it. Lots of very well dressed size 16 ladies abound

Fairylea Wed 24-Apr-13 23:08:57

Thanks for the tips. I'm making a mental checklist so I can get a few bits. The idea of lots of layers is a good one... not something I've done before and might disguise some of the rolls of flesh I seem to now have. I will also look at wrap dresses.

I feel very old at 32 and a larger size. I don't know why and I know it's perhaps media fed but in my head being slim is associated with being young and now I'm larger I feel like I have aged 20 years .. I don't know how to dress for my age and size without looking frumpy. A lot of the things I keep picking (longer line tops, patterned stuff etc) all seems horribly ageing.

But then the stuff that is younger looking isnt suitable for me... skinny jeans now look super ridiculous on me and anything that ends above my bum ends up round my armpits in a few hours especially bending down with ds all the time.

I'd really love to lose the weight and I am trying, it's just so bloody hard sad I've been trying for 10months now and I'm still the same size I was at the time I had ds. I guess the only good thing is its not going up and up.

I do find myself really hating myself though. I don't go out and meet people or do anything much because I think people will be judging me. Which I suspect is nonsense as I wouldn't judge a larger woman so why should they.

I also feel embarrassed going into town as I live very rurally and I know quite a few people in town as its tiny and I'm sure they're probably going to have a good gossip about me putting so much weight on sad

At the moment I am still wearing mostly a pair of m and j jeggings, t shirts from Tesco and converse. Sometimes I might really mix it up a bit and wear brogues. Which I brought on a whim but I think they're quite manly and I'm not even sure if I like them now.

The other week I brought two pairs of leggings, a tunic ditsy black dress thing and a floaty printed long line top.. all of which I now hate as they make me feel huge sad

Moan moan Moan.

Sorry. Maybe I just need a moan.

And a little kick. And a cry.

QueenCadbury Wed 24-Apr-13 23:13:46

Ok, I'm going no be brutally honest (have had a couple of glasses of wine) but I think you need to lose the weight as exratty says. If you hate the way you look I cannot imagine tht new clothes will make you feel any better. Yes, it's hard but achievable. If dc1 goes to school can you not thn go walking with dc2 in the buggy? To me 1800 calories sounds like a lot and I would have thought you should be aiming for less thn that if trying to lose weight.

Otherwise as exratty says embrace your new shape smile

You're allowed to moan! Just don't get so caught up in feeling down about your weight that you forget to do something about it. It is very hard to lose weight and keep it off. I'm trying hard to lose some myself but for various reasons, it's just not shifting. Have you considered speaking to your GP and asking to see a qualified dietician if that's available where you are? They might be able to give you the kick start you need.

Fairylea Wed 24-Apr-13 23:22:43

Queen... I appreciate what you're saying but the problem is I feel so down about myself and my clothes that I don't feel able to walk about with ds in the buggy.. I do what I need to do and hurry back. I feel embarrassed. I need to find something I feel at least bearable in to be able to get out and about so hopefully I can lose some of the weight.

1800 is still under the 2000 daily recommended amount. Sometimes I do eat less than this but I think upping my activity is a better way to go as I have thyroid and immune system problems so I need to eat quite well otherwise I will just end up being ill.

I am going to go back to the gp to check everything is as it should be. I am under the care of a consultant for my thyroid and pituitary issues and my last blood test was well within normal levels.

Thanks for listening to me. I'm going to try and get some sleep now and start all over again tomorrow.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards Wed 24-Apr-13 23:23:22

I'm 5 months post caesarean with DS2, size 16 at least and I was a size 10 before DCs. I live in stretchy leggings and long frumpy tops as refusing to buy bigger clothes. I look really awful but this time I know it is temporary because it was the same after DS1, your body lays down fat for breastfeeding and then tries to hang on to it, you have little or no time to workout and food is often one handed carb laden stuff shoved down on the go. I daydreamed about bikram sessions or a trainer then realised I had no time or childcare and settled for the 30 day shred and the couch to 5k app.

BiBiBroccoli Wed 24-Apr-13 23:28:48

don't be too hard on yourself. Having young children is fecking hard and most women struggle with their weight/changed body shape after pregnancy.

Do you know anyone of a similar size/shape whose style you admire? I think it's very hard to be objective about yourself and sometimes it helps to mimic a look you have seen and liked on someone else. You could also book in for a free personal styling session in House of Fraser, John Lewis or Debenhams. It's good to have the opinion of someone who doesn't know what you usually choose, or what your pre pregnancy figure was like.

Also, try looking on Net a Porter for some styling ideas then nick them and create similar looks from asos/h&m etc!

PoohBearsHole Wed 24-Apr-13 23:30:09

If you wer jeggings wear skinny Jensen, many places do stretchy jeans. More solid and can be slimming just don't go light colours, go dark with a shade lighter in the middle iykwim.

Don't get down, get proactive, look on the good food website for lw cal tasty options, join something like my fitness pal, don't do patterns but go bold with nautical stripes. Go to tk Marx and purchase a for now wardrobe to update what you have in the view of losing weight. Buy one really lovely accessories, I bought an expensive lk Bennett belt that was wide and patent it dresses up even the shittest of outfits I have and make sme feel more confident regularly.

Be nice to yourself, if you aren't no one else will feel the need to be.

Buy some new make up and wear it every day.

If you feel more confident, you will look it and I bet you weight drops off smile

DialsMavis Wed 24-Apr-13 23:46:38

I can't help with clothes I'm afraid. i found that while BF and/or not sleeping with both my Dc I couldn't lose an lb. When DS was about a year old the weight seemed to come off (slowly) of it's own accord. With DD it didn't so had to act. I had the MyFitnessPal app on my phone and logged everything I ate. I had to stick to 1250 then 1200 cals a day, but could eat more if I exercised. You log everything you do, including housework and walking and then you can eat more. I lost 3 stone in 9 months. I found the easiest way to stick to the calorie limit was to limit carbs and exercise so I could eat more or save the cals for a bottle of wine and chocolate one night per week. I ate a banana and full fat greek yog or bacon and eggs for breakfast, a whole pot of supermarket fresh soup or a salad with tuna/cheese/ham etc for lunch and whatever the family dinner was in the eve but I substituted the pots/past/rice for handfuls of salad. There is a graph that shows your weekly calories and I went by weekly rather than daily totals, so that if I had a bad day it didn't matter. I could make better choices throughout the week, or be particularly pious for a few days before a night out etc.

Due to DD stopping eating and stress and poverty I have taken my eye off the game a bit this winter and have put a bit back on, but nothing like before. I need to get back on it. Also it is a MN cliche but the 30 day shred works and it works fast. I have found that since stopping it (and other exercise) I ahve only put on about 4-6lb but I have gained loads of inches as all the lovely muscle I built has slowly turned back to flab. For me the key is exercise, like you I never over ate really, i am just prone to being chubby. I feel to shit about myself to do the gym or jogging, but did the shred, zumba and boxercise/circuits with friends in the same boat.

I hope what I have said has been helpful as you only asked for fashion advice, but it really, really helped me so much.

jackstini Thu 25-Apr-13 07:51:32

If you want a few bits to keep you going whilst you lose the weight have you tried everything 5 pounds .com?

Couple of pairs of new shoes, new bag and maybe a couple of tops and you won't break the bank.

I second the myfitnesspal app - I know a few people that use this and it's working

Waferthinmint Thu 25-Apr-13 08:07:32

I have had great success in Harcombe Diet. Google it. Main thing I've noticed is my 'carb belly' has debloated and even though I am still a 16 at the moment, I am not nearly as round and flabby, puffy etc.

Be careful of trying to 'disguise' weight in big floaty tunics. Can make you look fatter. I think you probably look as lovely as you did before but are more self conscious about it.

How are you feeling in general about yourself, ar you ok? You sound quite down and harsh on yourself . . .

lovesmileandlaugh Thu 25-Apr-13 08:24:53

I'm similar, I've been about to lose the weight for years, whilst not buying anything nice because it will be too big soon. Every so often I accept that it is okay to buy something nice in a 16, and feel so much better for it!

I would try find some nice jeans that fit, new funky shoes, nice scarfs, nail varnish and accessories.

Try and enjoy spending it, you are worth it grin

Ah don't be so down on yourself. I'm a size 18 ish and it definitely helps to have nice things to wear.

I'm more of a pear shape but I really rate Evans (fat ladies shop) for their cheap jeans. I wear the bootcut ones (not going to win any prizes for fashion forward here am I) but the high ish waist keeps my stomach in, and the bootleg balances out my big hips. I wear them with a simple T shirt or vest, or a cute 3/4 length sleeve sweater.

Like I say, its not particularly trendy but it feels presentable for wearing in public (please do go out more, it will definitely make you feel better!)

amessagetoyouYoni Thu 25-Apr-13 11:54:36

I was this shape for a good year or two after each of my kids were born.

I wore wrap dresses in dark colours or patterned/prints (seem to disguise the jelly belly). I would invest in one or two decent ones - go to John Lewis or a big department store and have a good gander.

For spring/summer casual, I went for light, floaty, stomach skimmin tunic tops (White Stuff?) over 3/4 trousers (New Look usually do a range each spring) or stretchy, lightweight jeans (Next are good for this).

Good luck! Its crap when you are in that post-baby-belly phase x

I know you said you've got loads of fitness DVD's but can I recommend the Shred DVD if you haven't already got it. It's 20-30 minutes per day and my DS used to love either watching and laughing at me doing it, or he'd join in - obviously your 10 month old won't be joining in but any pre-schoolers could.

If you've got time to iron then you've got time to Shred! grin

Do you live anywhere near an Evans store? Their clothes are designed for fuller figures. I was in there with my Mum recently and surprised at how "unfrumpy" their clothes are. I think their staff are pretty good at looking at your shape and recommending styles. Sometimes, the styles you think won't suit can actually be quite flattering.

If you had a couple of outfits which made you feel better - or "bits" you could put with things you've already got, maybe you'd feel better about getting out more.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep Thu 25-Apr-13 14:02:55

Being a size 18 isn't the end of the world you know! grin

With summer on the way and all, I second the dresses suggestion. Maybe see if you can do a personal shopper wotsit at a department store?

Also make sure you have a good comfy pair of shoes, you're not going to get out and about much if you start limping 100 yards down the road. I have a pair of black Mary-jane style shoes with a trainer-type sole, they go with both all my dresses and I can walk for miles in them.

teta Thu 25-Apr-13 14:05:10

I'm also apple shaped and smaller than you at 5 ft 3.I have a problem belly caused by 4 dc's[one set of twins] and genetics i guess.What works for me is exercising [cheers me up and makes me feel under control].Watching what i eat[my fitness pal is really good]as i bet if you are at home a lot you will be snacking more than you realise.Cutting down on carbs[drastic effect on size of belly here].I live in M&S pull on jeggings[wide elastic waistband so no belly overhang] in indigo/black.Long black vest tops from Matalan[bottom covering and hold everything in.But get 1-2 sizes bigger].As a top layer a basic crew neck t shirt[at the moment Matalan have them in white/black/cobalt].
Pair with comfy boots if cold or flipflops[fitflops are comfy for walking].
Just get out there and walk.No one will be talking about you and your weight gain.You will become depressed if you are at home all the time.Plus it won't be good for the baby.Do you go to any baby groups?there will be other mums in the same situation there.Pilates dvd's are good to start off with postnatally as is yoga [calming and strengthening].

LifeofPo Thu 25-Apr-13 14:10:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

polyhymnia Thu 25-Apr-13 14:11:40

Lots if good advice here (though I'm not at all a fan if Evans or other 'specialist ' plus size retailers - and at 16-18 toy really don't 'need' to go to them anyway).
My advice would be to spend some if the mOney on a really great hair cut and maybe c

QueenCadbury Thu 25-Apr-13 14:12:38

Hey fairy, sorry if I was so brutally honest. I really shouldn't have wine and then remember I didn't have tea!

Please don't be embarrassed about people seeing you. If they want to judge you or gossip about you then that says more about them than you. As you have a thyroid problem then as you say, you definately need to eat well. But I do think you will feel better about yourself if are proactive and increase your activity levels. It's amazing how many calories you can burn by pushing a buggy along. And the fresh air will make you feel better. After dc2 I joined buggy fit and that was great as it was walking in a group with other mums and no one cared what anyone else looked like.
Good luck.

polyhymnia Thu 25-Apr-13 14:15:16

Sorry - wretched phone! Suggest hair cut and codour plus really good well-fitting bra. Your hair and your bra are there no matter what you wear and make a huge difference to look and confidence.
Also I'm sure other people are not criticising you as you fear. The vast majority of peo

Pigsmummy Thu 25-Apr-13 14:16:49

Shift dress? Don't go for high necklines, v neck or cowel. My uniform currently is cropped trousers and nice bum covering long shirt. Could that work? on cooler days a nice long waterfall cardi?

Bootleg jeans with hipster not high waist might help? Try Matalan?

polyhymnia Thu 25-Apr-13 14:19:10

Aargh, sorry phone - did it again!
Meant to say people are far too busy worrying about their own problems and insecurities to take negative notice if everyone who passes them in the street. So do get and about. Good luck!

Pigsmummy Thu 25-Apr-13 14:20:26

Get a pedicure and either sandals or flip-flops for when the sun is shining? All winter i have been wearing a nice pair of brown flat boots all the time and realised that they were making me feel frumpy.

soaccidentprone Thu 25-Apr-13 14:39:57

I am in a similar position to you, having put on life loads of weight since I broke my leg and started taking antidepressants. I went to my uncles funeral earlier this year and one of my cousins didn't recognise me sad

m&s do jeans with different waist to hip ratio, so I don't know whether these are worth investigating? if you get jeans which are too tight on the waist they will cut your tummy in half.

don't go for tops which are too big or gathered - they will make you look bigger than you are. find tops which skim not cling. maybe wear boots which are the same colour as your trousers to lengthen your legs?

v necks or low scoop necks rather than round necklines.

and don't be so hard on yourself. it's difficult when you have small children.

maybe you could take your 10 month old to parent and baby classes at the swimming pool.

hope these all help

carrie74 Thu 25-Apr-13 18:51:44

Poor you, you sound as though your confidence is really knocked. FWIW, I tend to agree with those who suggest trying to lose the weight. I was always a 10/12 before children and after my first, was a 16 (and had never had any weight issues before). I'd never dieted, or exercised to lose weight, but I just didn't feel like me (and actually, my H, as gently as possible, suggested he'd appreciate a return to form too - it wasn't as bad as that sounds, but it really kicked me into touch).

I used to go to my parents' house every couple of weeks, leave my DD with them for 1.5 hrs, then I had a personal trainer at the local state run gym. It's meant it only cost me £12.50 an hour. After the first couple of months, I saw him infrequently, as I was able to maintain the exercise in between (I also signed up for a 5k run, determined to be able to run it all, which I did). It wasn't expensive, having a PT was v encouraging, changed frequently to keep the interest, pushed me when I needed it, but didn't overdo it and put me off. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

IMO it's really worth exploring,lots of council gyms also have classes at the same time as a crèche. I think you'd very soon start to feel better about yourself, and with the next £100, you can buy ourself something fabulous for your new shape.

Good luck!

KatyS36 Thu 25-Apr-13 19:18:36


Whilst I agree with a lot of the posters re longer term weight loss, I think that you need to to something now to improve how you feel about yourself.

I was a 14 to 16 pre pregnancy, and a 18 afterwards. Now down to a 12 to 14 after a lot of hard work and still going down. I remember deciding not to buy any new clothes until back to pre pregnancy weight and then it suddenly hit me I was huge and had nothing nice to wear.

So I went shopping, and it massively helped. I just bought a few bits and pieces that fitted and flattered and I looked and felt miles better.

As a size 16 to 18 you will not be able to look skinny, and I wonder if that is difficult to deal with after being a 10? However, as a 16-18 there is no good reason why you can't look attractive, nice, stylish, confident and good. (Not claiming to have managed all of these, but I felt OK about how I looked once I had some decent clothes!).

I am a different shape to you, so can't offer specific advice, but I would suggest both going to a large store like debenhams and trying loads of stuff on. Loads and loads. Also suggest looking at what other woman your size whose style you like are wearing.

I didn't buy loads, but its amazing how knowing you have one nice outfit helps. £100 if spent carefully should be able to get a few options.

Good luck and I am glad you have had so many lovely replies.


madmomma Thu 25-Apr-13 19:34:48

OP I feel the same. I just can't seem to shift the baby weight from my 2 littlest and I feel so old being this fat + flabby. I have wasted loads of money this year on clothes that I look a mess in because I'm dressing the body I used to have instead of the one I have now sad I am virtually housebound beecause dh works late and once the kids are in bed I tackle the mess and fall into bed. My youngest is 15m and I can't see a way out of the fat trap until she's in school. Totally given up. Sorry - none of that was helpful - I just wanted to say you're not alone. Watching with interest.x

PoohBearsHole Thu 25-Apr-13 19:41:49

Just to reiterate making yourself feel better, I realised I was puffing and panting to bend down after dc 1. I got a personal trainer then and whilst I am no skinny rib 14/16 my shape changed so when I had dc2 I found myself ina situation that my body was in better condition. I know that doesn't help now but that £100 could be spent on 4/5x pt sessions in your home to give you a boost smile

yellowhousewithareddoor Thu 25-Apr-13 19:53:13

I'm even larger (about 3 stone over my pregnancy weight). Traumatic birth, husband away during the week, exhaustion etc and just plain comfort eating.

Not too sure how to tackle it. I try walking but end up exhaustem by the end of the week 'overdoing' it. I've ended up so unfit and unhappy. I need energy to get through day and get them to bed so its a vicious circle. Desperate to do something though.

It certainly affects how I feel about myself. Bought some huge jeans and a top in Sainsburys today but don't feel great at least they aren't as small as what I was wearing :-(

TERRICOVERLEYDoSAC Thu 25-Apr-13 20:32:56

Been in a similar place.

Would suggest you buy a couple of things now that make you feel really fantastic and give you a buzz when you look in the mirror - could be a great print/colour, a vibe you like or they highlight a bit of you you feel really good about. But only buy them if they lift your spirits.

Key is to invest now in things that put you back in touch with feeling good about your self, and then build on this feeling. Then repeat at really regular intervals (fortnightly?) as you recognise the progress you are making. Hanging on and building on that will keep you motivated.

Do not postpose getting nice things for yourself! You need to be feeling really positive about who you are and your committment to taking steps along this journey.

Money was tight for me so I often bought lovely things from Ebay which I couldn't have afforded from elsewhere. They lifted my spirits and I sold them again too as I lost weight! Avoid buying cheap cover-ups now to tide you over - completely depressing, profoundy unflattering and a waste of money. Buy stuff now that reinforces your personal sense of style and reconnects you with who you want to be. Go for aspirational brands if you can.

Guessing as a tall apple you'll look great in tailoring (fitted shapes?) and have fantastic long legs (jeans/ankle skimmers?). Dressipi can be a helpful resource?

Try not to be too hard on yourself - that body has done great things in producing DS. Give yourself a bit of time and you'll get to where you want to be.

Very best wishes

newgirl Thu 25-Apr-13 20:34:27

Get yourself to new look.

They have fab stripey tops, thin long cardies - £8. I got dark straight jeans £16. Go for cotton rather than weird fabrics. I think it's a gem if a shop if you ignore the teenage stuff. So you can kit yourself out in your budget and recycle jeans as/when you lose weight. Get things that fit not baggy.

2fedup Thu 25-Apr-13 21:27:41

Buy a couple of tops that make you feel better. Something like this that is empire line should help to give you a waste, depending on the cut, too much cloth can make the tummy area look bigger. You can wear it with ankle length trousers or knee length shorts or skinnies.
Losing weight will help long term, but you can still better.

janey223 Fri 26-Apr-13 00:28:13

Sorry haven't read the full thread but I'm a 16-18 and the only jeans I can wear properly are high waisted ones. Normal jeans cut me in half and still fall down

Fairylea Fri 26-Apr-13 19:43:38

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate all the replies and tips.. and whilst I'm sorry to hear so many others are feeling similarly to me it helps to know I'm not alone. Thanks.

I went out shopping today with dh and ds (who seemed to eat his own 10 month old body weight in pizza at pizza express... oops smile ) and I remembered some of your ideas and brought myself some tops and a wrap dress. Going to attempt to get out and about more.

I also brought some red brown hair dye to give myself a bit of a lift... at the moment my hair is mousy grey whereas I always used to dye it etc. I think I had completely given up ! So I'm going to give that a go.

I'm still feeling very self conscious. But you're right, the world is full of people like me. No one is going to be looking at me (IkKeep telling myself anyway).

I do find it very hard trying to accept my size. And someone was right when they said it's accepting I'm not seen as slim or skinny anymore. As I always have been. So it's like my whole body image has been knocked on its side. It's hard.

I do want to lose the weight but I have decided that I am going to up my walking about, hopefully in clothes that I feel ok in.... if I lose weight great. I don't have the energy or patience to calorie count right now, a bit of chocolate or cake is all that keeps me sane some days!

Thank you all for your support and help. I might post again if I'm feeling low. It helps to talk to others.

PoohBearsHole Fri 26-Apr-13 20:12:22

Good for you op. baby steps, make yourself feel better first then start on larger goals. It's like fly lady for you body! And take it from me, don't wait for something special to wear your new gear! Wear it because you can and it makes you feel nice. Don't forget to add a bit of lippy even if its lip salve! Baby steps grin

Go op! It's good that you are taking these little steps. Baby steps still take you forward even if it's slower than striding smile

KatyS36 Sat 27-Apr-13 08:01:01

So pleased you are starting to feel better, and taking positive steps forward. Enjoy your lovely new clothes and good luck. Remember to post again if you need to.


higgle Sat 27-Apr-13 09:49:36

As someone who has been to fat and back more times than I will admit to I probably know how you feel. If you buy something nice now, that fits properly you will feel cheered up a bit. Make sure your underwear fits, there is nothing that makes you grumpier than bras and knicker elastic digging in. Once you are dressed in your nice new clothes think about losing some weight gradually. I can assure you that size 14 when you are on the way down feels a nice place to be, whereas like you I find 16/18 is not.

I know the idea is a bit yucky but if you join a group ( I go to a lovely friendly small Slimming World group) it does help. I would have thought a morning group would have a lot of young mothers in the same boat as you. At my group about a third of those who go along are at target and most of those have been there for ages, so it does work.

Don't think of it as wasting your money buying clothes that fit you know - the morale boost will be enormous, and you will find it much easier to source cheaper clothes or things on ebay that look lovely when you are a smaller size. I'm not doing much exercise at the moment but I used to run a lot - couch to 5k feels like an amazing achievement when you start from scratch. It might sound silly but if you are out and about, exercising, in a yoga or Zumba class or at diet group you can't at the same time be pigging out at home!

DewDr0p Sat 27-Apr-13 16:24:48

OP I'm a bit late to this but it's good to hear you feeling a bit brighter.

I know that when I was in that post-baby phase, a few well fitting clothes gave me a huge boost, as I just felt a bit weird and well, not me really!

Be kind to yourself - it's really not that long since you had a baby and celebrity mothers aside, most of us take a while to get back to "normal" Exercise might be good just to boost your mood though - does the baby nap? Could you do 20mins of one of your exercise DVDs then rather than wait until the evening when you're knackered? My friend used to run up and down the stairs! Maybe when you take ds to the park do a lap or two with him in the buggy before you head home again?

btw I live in a very small and very gossipy place and I have NEVER heard anyone bitching about anyone's post-baby weight (heard them bitching about everything else under the sun but not that grin )

Hope you are enjoying your new clothes smile

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