A Rachel. A friggin Rachel.

(68 Posts)
catslave Tue 23-Apr-13 19:03:57

The title says it all. I have been growing my hair for a year, after I had massive hormone problems, half dropped out, and I had it cut from armpit length to jawbone length.

It had finally made it to my collarbone, partly because I avoided the hairdresser for 6 months (except for 6 weekly grey-terminating root jobs). So I thought I'd book a trim. I am an idiot, the hairdresser is an idiot, and I now sport a Rachel from Friends circa 1996 crap hairdo. I am gutted.

I have thick slightly wavy hair, and if they cut in layers (which I always expressly say 'don't') the top ones turn in at the base, while the bottom layer flicks out. I look like a 90s mushroom. Bwaaah, sob sob.

If anyone else has hairdresser inflicted bad hair then please come and join my massive pity party. I have streamers and wine

TheRealFellatio Tue 23-Apr-13 19:08:42

They always do this to me, too. sad I am almost pathologically afraid of going for a haircut now. sad

I once posted a thread ranting about the very same thing. All sorts of stupid flicky layers in the wrong places, and the wrong lengths. No-one cared. I just want you to know that I care about your fucking awful hair. sad

MrsMangelFanciedPaulRobinson Tue 23-Apr-13 19:11:10

Oh no, I hate it when that happens. Are you able to minimise the 'Rachel' effect by straightening it?

I had a crap haircut about a year ago when the hairdresser hacked into my hair with thinning scissors, leaving some layers on top of my head as short as 2 inches so it was all static and sticking up. Was a pain to tie up too.

Wereonourway Tue 23-Apr-13 19:13:44

I feel your pain ladies, I had this once.

I've also got a very round head(or cherry shaped to be precise) and it looked awful on me.

Straightening was only way forward. And getting tough with hairdresser by saying LONG layers and shouting of she went near the thinning scissors

TheRealFellatio Tue 23-Apr-13 20:00:34

With me they always but the layers too deeply over my ears, so the hair springs up and I get a new pair of ear muffs. [hm]

Limoncellolovely Tue 23-Apr-13 20:54:04

Feel your pain I am exactly the same went in for a virtually any haircut I have if it involves layers morphs into a Rachel even a Danni Minogue bob turned into a goddam Rachel. Straighteners and lee Stafford climate control to try and resist damp weather flicks are your friends until you can grow it out.

EleanorFarjeon Tue 23-Apr-13 20:56:22

The Rachel is probably due a revival by now!

<not helping>

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Tue 23-Apr-13 21:02:12

i was just going to say, you should start telling everyone that the 'rachel' is back in and wear it with pride! grin i reckon the rachel could still work now with a bit of modern product help to make it less mushroomy. it depends how trendy you are with clothes and make up though? or use it as the basis for a style makeover?

daimbardiva Tue 23-Apr-13 21:07:43

This happened to me about 6 months ago, so frustrating. It's almost grown out now, you have my sympathies...

Puddlelane Tue 23-Apr-13 21:09:01

I have the same problem with fine hair!
I also have a hole basically at the front too.

It's either the mum bob or the rachel sad

I have thin fine straight hair which is the bane of my life and hairdressers ALWAYS want to "give it texture" by layering it which means that half of it is twice as thin as it needs to be confused

I sympathise with the one-inch layers too. She cut my hair in five minutes. She was like a maniac. I could literally have done a better job. She just attacked with scissors and before I knew it I looked like Sharon Stone for six months.

I have finally found one who told me that fine thin hair should have a blunt cut, before I had to tell him. Nobody else may touch it now.

I hate shit hairdressers. HATE HATE HATE.

VeremyJyle Tue 23-Apr-13 21:18:24

Just to hijack for a moment, went to great effort to straighten my hair yesterday for ExP to tell me I looked like Professor Snape. Have to face him weekly for contact with DS so now I just want to lop the lot off hmm

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Tue 23-Apr-13 21:23:44

what is it with EXes thinking their opinion on our appearance is still welcome? my ex regularly comments when i've put tan on or done my nails. tbh i think he's trying to work out whether i'm heading out for the night.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 23-Apr-13 21:28:00

Yes, Mushroom Head.
::understanding nod::

I have been there too. Whenever I have my hair cut - which is every 8ish weeks for me - I bang on to the hairdresser about how I want long layers 'like this' (demonstrates on hair), as if there's too much gap between them, I get Mushroom Head. I have had the same hairdresser for a couple of years now, but I will not rest on my non-mushroomed laurels. So she gets the spiel every time.

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 23-Apr-13 21:29:58

I think your options are:

1) put up with it
2) make it more wavy, to encourage choppy texture. Would your hair hold this?
3) iron it out and go heavy on the de-frizzing products
4) have the length cut off a bit.

But I am no hairdresser.

FrugalFashionista Tue 23-Apr-13 21:32:56

Not sure if this will make you feel better OP but I was given a mullet by a hairdresser a few years ago. <yes I know>

If you could choose, which one would you pick? A mullet or the Rachel grin

SingingSands Tue 23-Apr-13 21:39:58

This happens to me too! You only have to whisper "layers" at my hair and I end up looking like a mushroom head. Then they grow out into something that resembles spaniel ears. Grrr... I hate my hair! I had it cut to a straight jaw length bob in February which I hated and am growing out. I'm considering shaving my head and investing in a series of amazing wigs.

SolomanDaisy Tue 23-Apr-13 21:43:23

I am growing my hair and I was looking in the mirror this afternoon thinking it has turned into an accidental Rachel. It does look shit.

LynetteScavo Tue 23-Apr-13 21:45:00

I think a Rachel is a fine cut. The best thing to come out of the '90's, infact (and no, I don't wear bootleg jeans!) If you have thick hair and no layers you just end up with a big triangle.

If you really hate it, have the bottom cut a bit, so the layers are near the bottom, and have them cut into, rather than a blunt edge.

carabossse Tue 23-Apr-13 21:46:34

Oh I'm in!

Three years ago I found a great hairdresser. Late 40s, loads of experience, recommended... On the first visit when I began explaining please no point cutting, no short layers etc he immediately said all the right things and why my hair (long, dense, mixed texture with a few coarse hairs, slight wave) needed to avoid those things. Three years on and we have the same chat every time, butthe last visit I got a Rachel. Shorter layers at the front which jump up and longer at the back which flicks out. I have 1980s hair anyway, but this is some sort of Rachel vs mullet situation.

Any ideas for a new style gratefully received.

valiumredhead Tue 23-Apr-13 21:49:28

You need layers or you end up with a triangle.

TheCraicDealer Tue 23-Apr-13 22:06:39

Hmm, have you styled it yourself? When I get mine cut and coloured it always looks like a Rachel. They always seems to try to slick it down to my head and flick it out at the bottom in the course of cutting it. Then I get home and re-do it all myself and it looks grand. It's always a blessed relief as I don't like resembling a American news anchor from 1996.

HorribleHaircut Tue 23-Apr-13 22:17:19


I look fucking awful. Well I was no oil painting to begin with but now I look utterly vile and will do for the next six months.

Bad hairdressers of the world: kindly fuck back off to the School Of Hideous Hairdressing and stay there with your wonky eyesight and no sense of style or taste. angry

SacreBlue Tue 23-Apr-13 22:23:39

This is why I don't go near them except when I am in full expat control mode grin

It could be worse, really really. Old school friend posted on fb her hairdresser gave her a ............<choke> mullet

I linked to shhh DM article saying it was now back in but that's never a good look

Personally I feel hats are long overdue a revival

5318008 Tue 23-Apr-13 22:24:15

My hair will never do the rachel, it just hands there in limp hanks angry so I am mighty jealous of your bouncy locks, you lot

5318008 Tue 23-Apr-13 22:24:58

it doesn't hand, that would be vair odd <smacks self round face with wet fish>

5318008 Tue 23-Apr-13 22:26:04

yesah, the hat thing. 'S ok in wintahhhhh, but in summer, any hat makes me look like a fucking cherry head ffs

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 23-Apr-13 23:03:41

People, there IS middle ground between Triangle Head and Mushroom Head. Loooong layers are what we need.

StuntGirl Tue 23-Apr-13 23:29:01

I bloody love the 90s. Was contemplating recently actually asking my hairdresser to give me a Rachel blush The worst part is I think she's too young to know what that means! sad

TheRealFellatio Wed 24-Apr-13 04:08:06

Bad hairdressers of the world: kindly fuck back off to the School Of Hideous Hairdressing and stay there with your wonky eyesight and no sense of style or taste.

Hahahahahaa - I had to double check that you weren't Gerrof then - that sounds exactly like the sort of thing she'd say. grin

TheRealFellatio Wed 24-Apr-13 04:10:10

And the very worst thing about this cut is that the layers are way too short around the face and sort of frame it (in a bad way) so there in fuck all you can do to disguise it - it's just a 2 year waiting game. sad

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Wed 24-Apr-13 08:18:12

Can't believe I have stumbled upon this thread. I went to the hairdressers for the first time in nearly a year, a month ago.

Asked for a bob, same length all the way round, with layers cut in so as to avoid the dreaded triangle. I asked for this one time before (different hairdresser and came out with swishy, divine hair - something that never happens to my thick head of coarse wiriness).

Came out and wasn't happy with it, but couldn't put my finger on why. Went out the next night and my best friend's husband said, nice hair, yada, yada - what did you ask for? I said a bob. He said, oh really? I thought you must've asked for a Rachel. How the jeff does he even know about the Rachel?!


IceCubes Wed 24-Apr-13 08:31:03

Been there! I ended up going to another hairdresser to 'fix' it, which basically involved hacking the lot off. Two years on, my hair is now socially acceptable... And I only ever go to the hairdresser for a trim!

MrsBucketxx Wed 24-Apr-13 08:39:56

this is why I pay liads for my hair as I only trust one salon chain.

Rachels tend to be created by cutting the layers to short on wet hair blow drying with a round brush wont help either.

long layers and going over it (thinning and trimming to eliminate choppy layers) once its been blow dried should work.

its and old style of cutting they are using, some retraining is needed.

catslave Wed 24-Apr-13 09:08:08

Thanks ladies... and having avoided cuts for a long time I had forgotten the shuddering horror of the thinnning scissors. I have lots of hair, but it's quite fine, hence the flickety hell.

I think I just let my guard down, plus I had loads of work to so had my nose in my emails, and didn't notice he was holding great chunks of hair above my head and cutting bits off. My normal hairdresser was off sick, so the salon manager did my hair - imho the less experienced hairdressers seem to listen more and do what you want, not what they think will look best.

On the plus side, it looks good up, so the ponytail is going to be my best friend for the next couple of months.

On the other hand, I am quite shocked at the amount of people who have had big Rachel disasters...

HazeltheMcWitch Wed 24-Apr-13 11:02:04

Thinning Scissors.
I have been there too. In fact, I may have your exact hair - lots of fine hair.

I didn't notice at first, then - well, exactly as described. A shuddering horror as I realised what was happening.

YoniOno Wed 24-Apr-13 11:23:23

What's the triangle? I have shoulder length very fine hair and have learned to always ask for a blunt cut . <worries>

I asked the 12yo trainee who cut my hair for a fiver last time to give me a side sweeping fringe like the young uns sport and she gave me mum hair - feathered down at both sides hmm

Bearcrumble Wed 24-Apr-13 11:29:44

My lovely hairdresser went off to Australia for a year and a friend recommeded someone who visits you. Visiting hairdresser lady was very nice but she gave me 2 haircuts. One on top of the other. There was no meeting in the middle, didn't even look bouncy mushroom. Just a bob on top and then some long lank bits sticking out underneath. Undeterred I had her again and explained the issue. So she did it to me again.

Having resigned myself to going about with shit hair, about a year later I met my old hairdresser on the bus. I CLUNG TO HER AND DRAGGED HER HOME WITH ME.

Now she lives round the corner but works in a very posh salon in Chelsea but she will come to me on her afternoon off for tea and chats and to give me a nice hairdo. I love her. She still hasn't returned the muffin tray she borrowed to make red nose day cakes in but I don't even care.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 24-Apr-13 12:25:50

This used to happen to me.

Now I drive 40 miles and go to the same hairdresser who my Mum uses, who used to cut my hair when I was a little girl. She understand the layers thing, and that I don't want thinning scissors (I have very thick hair and the first thing a new hairdresser always wants to do is thin it - urgh).

But the best thing you can do is buy a decent hairdryer. My hair is currently longer than it has been for years, but with the help of my new Parlux it dries really sleek and straight, no mushrooms.

I do think that we Brits tend to over style our hair. Lots more women on the continent wear it longer and just blow dry it properly, and it looks much better and takes years off them IMO.

catslave Wed 24-Apr-13 14:36:30

I wish i could blow dry mine properly... last time I went, my usual lady dried mine like all lovely and swooshy this:




DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Wed 24-Apr-13 20:47:39

Yoni - if you have fine hair, you probably have no need to worry about the dreaded triangle.

It is something that blights those of us with thick, coarse hair. Here it is although this woman looks lovely with it.

Basically, your hair springs out at the bottom of the cut.

I was attacked by the thinning scissors two weeks ago by my hairdresser.. who usually has more sense.

I have thick long hair that needs the weight... I now have fuzzy random puffed up bits.


HomeEcoGnomist Wed 24-Apr-13 21:07:27

It could be worse ... He could have given you a 'Gail off Coronation Street'


Short hair is the way to go

<super helpful>


chibi Wed 24-Apr-13 21:16:04

i don't know anyone irl with hair like mine- superthick and wavy leaning towards curly.everyone i know has got nice well behaved naturally straight fine hair so there is no one i can ask for a recommendation. they all say, ooh, well most places are good, aren't they?

<head explodes>

i have had my hair violently thinned with thinning scissors. there are no words.

curmit Wed 24-Apr-13 21:26:34

I NEVER go to the hairdressers, well hardly ever, because they never do what you ask!! I really want to have mine styled again but am too scared to go as I just know they will do the opposite of what I ask.

Once, I went for a colour, and explicitly said, nothing that had red or purple tones to it. I came out with purple hair.

Another time, a hairdresser used permanent dye not semi permanent, about 6 shades darker than my natural colour.

The last time I had it cut, I asked for a thick fringe, not wispy as have naturally curly hair and it would just frizz. She cut it thin and said 'in case i didn't like it, it would grow out quicker' But I'd asked for it thick, I HATE thin wispy fringes, and that's what I got.

They just do what they want to do and don't listen to you in the slightest.

Errrrmagherd. Was that a rant?

curmit Wed 24-Apr-13 21:27:17

p.s. OP was it your thyroid? That happened to me sad

StickyProblem Wed 24-Apr-13 21:32:42

Apparently it's a common problem! I just found this

ArtexMonkey Wed 24-Apr-13 22:18:36

Fucking hell, thinning scissors. Is there anyone who they are a friend to?

I think Fellatio said it all really. Look for updos and how to do vintage stuff like beehives or rag/pin curls on Pinterest, try and detract attention and change the mushroom shape.

Wereonourway Wed 24-Apr-13 22:28:29

Bear- I have just wet myself laughing at your post. 2 haircuts in one. Haha!

Wereonourway Wed 24-Apr-13 22:30:22

Oh and it's not the same, but kind of is.

Has anyone else noticed the hair on the midwife on one born every minute? The one with auburn hair? Like a triangle but a truly magnificent volumetric triangle?!

Does she do it on purpose? I hope someone knows who I mean

Thewhingingdefective Wed 24-Apr-13 22:33:45

OP, count yourself lucky. I always leave hairdressing salons with a Myra Hindley do.

ArtexMonkey Wed 24-Apr-13 22:37:57

Do you go in and ask for 'a Myra' whinging?

Thewhingingdefective Wed 24-Apr-13 22:40:12

No I bloody don't, Artex, but every chuffing hairstyle I request results in a Myra. Must be my default do. All that blow drying....

The wispy fringe is exactly why I cut my own fringe these days. Even my best mate who cut my hair for years couldn't bloody get it right.

I stopped her cutting my hair a while ago though and had my hair cut for the first time by someone else recently and I love it! It is a bit triangular BUT it suits my face and I've had lots of compliments does a twirl grin

ArtexMonkey Wed 24-Apr-13 22:47:33

That's no good..

Me oh Myra!

ArtexMonkey Wed 24-Apr-13 22:48:19

Xposts throughgritted.

Daffyboobface Wed 24-Apr-13 23:45:45

Three words.

Tinsel wig fringe.

I hate her.

Ahem <does a twirl> blush

DuchessFanny Thu 25-Apr-13 10:15:02

People love my hair, it is shiny and straight, and looks healthy, but this does not stop it looking totally shite with the wrong cut -- years back i too had a 'two styles' haircut, you know, the one with a bob, but longer bits underneath .. DH said i looked like the alien from Mars Attacks (not good)

And just recently had an awful haircut. My hair is super straight and fine, and i'd had it cut from bra length to shoulder a few months previously, and it looked nice ... my usual hairdresser was giving me a 'trim', next thing i know it's up my neck and all sorts of lengths, bits poking out,the lot .. i was not happy ... ended up ringing a much more expensive salon and getting their last appointment of the night ( had to was going away the next day with the girls and couldn't go with shit hair !!) and he transformed it into a sleek shiny gorge 'do' had nothing but compliments ! however, it's still too short for my taste, so now doing the whole tedious growing out !

Know a girl with a wispy fringe and every time i see her i think 'no, no, no'

ATJabberwocky Thu 25-Apr-13 10:19:45

I sympathise, I always get told I have the face for a bob cut, I hate bob-cuts!

catslave Thu 25-Apr-13 15:02:00

curmit - pituitary failure, so thyroid, oestrogen deficiency, cortisol deficiency... you name it. My hair was actually fine until they discovered the problem and replaced everything, then it went into mad growth phase and all the old crappy stuff dropped out.

Anyway, i wish I could say the Rachel was my worst haircut. That gies to something resembling this:


Wiggy from Hitman and Her shows age

ENormaSnob Thu 25-Apr-13 16:47:15

Rather a Rachel than the Brian may/Russell brand hybrid I was given a few years ago sad

I'm currently sporting the worst fringe known to mankind.

I don't even have a hairdresser to blame. my fucking mother did it.

Luckily my hair grows fast.

Absy Thu 25-Apr-13 16:55:52

And this is why I continue to go to the same hairdresser who is expensive, but has never given me a bad hair cut. Even the time he cut it quite short (and I cried at home afterwards and refused to go out) turned out to be inspired. I DREAD a bad hair cut.

curmit Thu 25-Apr-13 19:05:30

ah sympathies. Pituitary, and Wiggy. ;)

Is the rachel due for a comeback? My friends were talking about it recently, we were too young at the time but were discussing if now is the time for a revival - i forgot it was so mushroomy i pity you all with your foisted on rachels sad

catslave Thu 25-Apr-13 22:39:46

It looks much better now it has been washed and Babylissed to death

Less like a Rachel, anyway - dear god, why did he flick out the bottom layer when he dried it??

I do struggle with the notion that thick fine hair needs layers or it will turn into a triangle. Mine seems to do better for being all the same length and blunt cut. When I have layers, it seems to puff up like a massive Polly Pocket helmet.

I hate my hair.

singaporeswing Sat 27-Apr-13 09:15:19

I had a Rachel for AGES - found that curling it with straighteners really helped, made it look less flicky and more bouncy, gets rid of the mushroom effect too.

I've now got ridiculously long hair and refuse to get it cut. Obviously traumatised by the Rachel.

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