Need some objective hair advice: please could you have a look at this pic and tell me what I should do with it

(53 Posts)
hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 09:38:02

(Temporary namechange so as not to out myself in RL)

Stuck in that eternal cycle of growing my hair, deciding I don't like it, cutting it, then changing my mind and having to wait an age for it to grow again. V long now but I think it's starting to make me look a big haggard (and I vaguely remember stern warnings from my mother about not growing hair long beyond a 'certain' age, just not sure now what that age is, whether I've hit it confused and whether that is in fact outdated nonsense).

Anyway, tempted to get bob of some description but then it might all start again. I've done that horrible thing where you turn the iphone on yourself, and taken the 'hair dilemma' pic that is now posted on my profile. It's tied back because that is how I almost always have it. Can the mumsnet S&B ladies give me some honest opinions?

Pros of long hair for me:
- simple to maintain: wash, brush, tie back
- It stays out of my face when tied back
- shorter styles seem to need more maintenance, blow-drys etc, which i'm rubbish at and having it long means it can be put up in interesting ways, not that i really do that

Cons:
- it never feels quite 'me' having long hair, especially when it's down (feel a bit like a man in drag)
- i've got quite pointy features, particularly as I'm ageing, and I think maybe long hair accentuates that and makes me look haggard

Thanks v much folks

There is no pic OP smile

But without seeing it just want to say there is no 'certain age' so wipe that thought....

There is only 'certain age hair' which you definitely don't want smile

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:14:46

If you like having long hair, don't cut it just because you think you ought to due to your age...that's a load of crap. As long as it's well maintained and doesn't look overgrown (ie too long with straggly ends) it won't make you look older, assuming long hair suits you.

Hassled Thu 28-Mar-13 10:18:40

I agree that cutting your hair because of age is madness - there's lots you can do with it without looking witchy and muttony. You see some very elegant older women with longer hair.
I've had the same dilemmas for ages and in the end have kept it long - a) there's more scope to tie it back/pin it up/do different stuff and b) like you, I can't be arsed/don't have time to fanny about with blow dries and products and shit.

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 10:20:28

Oh, weird - is it not in 'my photos'? showing up when I preview my profile but perhaps I've missed a step. Crikey it's an awful pic though…

Thanks v much for answering anyway.

Gabaccia Not sure long hair does suit me, that's the thing. It is in good condition but is always tied back to seems a bit pointless in some ways. I grow it long so I can tie it back because I don't want to have to deal with a complicated styling routine. There must be a better way! A

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:22:34

You need to make your profile public.

Have you ticked for your profile to be public?

Other than that I'm crap with MN techie stuff too smile

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:23:47

Click on My Profile and scroll right to the bottom, and select the Yes option smile

this is mumhair, BTW.

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 10:24:27

Doh, I hadn't done that blush thanks badtaste it's up now...

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 10:26:41

Lol re mumhair

thanks Gabaccia

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:27:27

OP I look much better with short (bob-length) hair than long, because I have a small, narrow face - maybe you're like me smile Long hair just drags my face down and overwhelms it. I don't find a bob any more work than long hair, because I always had to do something to my long hair to make it look decent and not just hang there or scraped.

Bobs are tricky territory though - overly layered or ones that go up too much at the back can look really dated.

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:29:07

shock you're really pretty OP.

I reckon you could pull off the right bob. This pinterest page has lots of good bob inspiration.

I think you would suit short hair, but you really need to speak to a good hairdresser and explain what you like and dont like. They can come up with styles to suit.

Everyone seems to get a bob when they thing "argh, I need to cut my hair" but I found a bob was more work than long hair.

How about a pixie crop, wash, blast, chuck some wax on?

Ok can see it now. It's kind of hard to judge without being able to actually see your hair grin

But if you have it tied back like that all the time, I agree it's not a great look. Is your hair quite fine and flyaway? If so what about a really choppy layered (longish) cut?

And BTW you definitely don't look old enough to have to worry about being a 'certain age'.

And I would go for this kind of bob rather than anything too structured, and definitely not a pob.

winnybella Thu 28-Mar-13 10:36:29

How old are you? Because going from the photo you posted you are nowhere near enough the age where you should start worrying about long hair making you look older/haggard (I think it's nonsense anyway).
I think long or just below the shoulder hair would suit you and actually soften your face. I think blunt bobs or overly layered pixie cuts usually sharpen the features. Having said that, you're very pretty so would suit most hair styles.

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:37:35

That's a good bob badtaste.

This is my current hair and it's my favourite style ever.

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:40:04

You can definitely get away with long hair if you want to, but I reckon as your face is narrow and you have a lovely slim neck, shorter would emphasise your features more and make your eyes look even more massive smile

Gabaccia I like that too but it works best if you have really thick hair. I've tried to replicate that look before on thin hair and it never looks as good.

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 10:45:42

sorry to disappear, a flurry of work emails arrived, which I'll have to head off and deal with properly. Thanks for being so complimentary ladies blush

I'm 35, wasn't sure if that was 'the age' - though I've been successfully disabused of the idea that any of that matters which is good smile

badtaste - hair is quite fine but there's a lot of it, i.e. it's thick and heavy when down, which might be why it doesn't quite work down

Jax I always like the sound of a pixie crop, though again assume it might be high maintenance. Think you're probably right that I need to speak to a hairdresser. Trouble is, the same person has been cutting my hair for years and years, it kind of always ends up the same when I go to him. He's a good mate though grin

Will spend some time looking through your suggestions later and have a think

love the expression 'pob' grin

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:46:01

True - my hair is medium thickness I think, thick enough for a full fringe anyway, and it's dark. It's hard to tell what the OP's hair is actually like!

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:46:34

x-post OP smile

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 10:47:08

ooh, Gabaccia I really like that bob. That might be an option…

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 10:51:04

Less drastic than going straight for a pixie anyway smile And fringes grow out surprisingly fast (which is quite annoying as it means popping into the hairdressers every 3 weeks for a free fringe trim - something to bear in mind if you're not near your hairdresser often.)

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 11:08:25

have done what I should have done to begin with and put up a hair down photo, which probably gives a better sense of what would/wouldn't suit.

Right, really do have to do some work now will pop back in an hour. thanks so much for taking the time to give opinions ladies

Right, that gives me more scope.

I would advise that you have it cut to at least shoulder-length. Nothing to do with age but because your hair is quite flyaway-looking and you have a long face (not bad long-long, just long rather than square/round, whatever...). I would definitely go for a choppy bob, with lots of layers around the face and a good thick fringe smile

I would cut it for you but you're probably too far away to make it worth my while grin

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 11:12:56

Well, now I'm not sure, because it does suit your face long. I think it's just a bit flyaway rather than looking heavy and shiny which maybe makes you think it looks haggard/witchy? Because it's definitely not your face that's the problem!

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 11:16:37

I also think you should keep it chin length or below, as it will soften your features. I've seen people with your type of face (high, sharp cheekbones, sharp-ish nose) look a bit harsh with pixie cuts or ear-length bobs.

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 11:16:56

I would go for shoulder length with a sweepy fringe. To be honest I'd maybe go a little darker as well.

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 11:18:28

Oh I agree it's not your face, you are very pretty. You hair looks too fly awayish (not a hairdressing term grin)

And yes I agree I would go a bit darker - flyaway hair is accentuated (sp?) by being very fair. A warmer darker colour would add texture and more shine.

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 11:22:53

Gab I really like all of those apart from your 'shoulder length flyaway blondeness' one, which I don't think would work with the OP's face shape. And I don't like the last one which is vergeing on Pob territory I think.

The rest are all lovely though.

Especially the first two links...

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 11:30:50

I wouldn't get a blunt cut across fringe if you have 'pointy' features.

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 11:32:42

It IS verging on pob territory isn't it badtaste? I hadn't noticed that - was distracted by her stunning Debbie Harry-esque face I guess!

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 11:33:44

And the texture of it is just gorgeous.

That's the trouble - half the time when I see a haircut I like, I'm ^really& thinking 'I want her face' envy

pixiegumboot Thu 28-Mar-13 11:35:45

OMG I think I have a pob!!! Is that bad??

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 11:37:36

wow, you gals are amazing. Those links are v helpful indeed

Quite like the idea of going a bit darker colour-wise, but I'm really pale and thought it might make me look a bit washed out. No?

No it doesn't have to make you look washed-out, as long as you don't go any darker than about a level 7, which is a dark blonde really, although it looks more of a brown, and chose a warm shade rather than a cool one (think chestnut, caramel, etc)

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 11:43:20

What's your natural colour OP? I'm paler than you with dark hair and don't look washed out (with a bit of blusher!) It just depends what suits your skin tone, which is v hard to tell from a photo - hairdresser will help with that. Personally I love your colour but that's prob because it's as far from mine as you can get... and the grass is always greener smile

HaveAGoodDay Thu 28-Mar-13 11:59:20

I actually like it long, but i am a fan of long hair! To be honest, in my experience, short hair takes more faffing about with. If you are looking to do something different, how about a choppy longish fringe & some blonder highlights? If you really want to be shorter, maybe a long bob?

www.voglue.com/nicole-richie-hairstyles-has-been-revamped-with-a-blonde-bob/nicole-richie-hairstyle-long-straight-cut/

long bob (side view only!)
pinterest.com/pin/18507048440881441

Gabaccia Thu 28-Mar-13 12:07:14

HaveAGoodDay that's a good fringe (maybe not on Nicole Richie, makes her look a bit like a Dulux dog with her tiny short face) but I can see the softness of it working well on the OP's face - maybe better than a really blunt fringe (as Coco said, a blunt fringe could look wrong on sharp features.)

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 12:16:34

Gabaccia natural colour is probably quite dark now and a bit red in places (I've definitely got the ginger/freckly gene in there) but when I've tried going that colour I've always looked a bit ill or felt like needed to wear lots of make-up, which I never manage to keep up.

Re the flyaway thing, I should add that my hair in the pic I took earlier is (a) a bit greasy (b) completely unbrushed, I just put it in an elastic first thing then took it out for the photo, so perhaps looking a bit more flyaway than usual.

I'm definitely erring on the side of a thicker fringe. Need to give a bit more thought to the colour issue. Loving all these links

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 14:49:22

Stay away from anything darker than a medium brown if you home dye, they can be very dark unless you are going to break the colour up with a lighter on. If you go to the hairdresser I would go with the caramel/blonde look. If you have red tones you might get away with a chestnut colour.

EldritchCleavage Thu 28-Mar-13 15:00:34

My dear, you are emphatically NOT haggard.

Right. Disclaimer: I am not an expert on white people's hair, far from it. But I reckon messy bob (I think the terminology is 'choppy'?) with a long-ish fringe is the way to go. No longer than shoulder length and no shorter than just below the chin.

hairdilemmaday Thu 28-Mar-13 15:26:47

thanks cocolepew - v helpful, I wouldn't dare have a go myself, am due a hairdresser trip once I've been paid so will go forth with the words 'caramel blonde' in mind.

Eldritch thanks grin sick children, so got about 4 hours sleep last night hence being a bit melodramatic about my hair crisis. That sounds like eminently sensible advice. I think I have a hair plan…

mummiebummie Thu 28-Mar-13 18:15:00

I have to say I love it long! Looks more casual and youthful on you, I think.

BrunellaPommelhorse Thu 28-Mar-13 18:55:42

have a fringe

looks lovely as it is though

lowercase Thu 28-Mar-13 21:36:30

It looks good long.

Get a restyle, keep the length.

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