Have just received the 'schedule and dress code' for a wedding I'm attending.

(269 Posts)
ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:18:52

I'm screwed.

I'm seriously screwed.

reastie Mon 11-Mar-13 13:19:42

Come on then, how bad is it what is it?

DewDr0p Mon 11-Mar-13 13:19:59

What on earth does it say? Schedule??

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 13:20:32

<waits>

Does leopard print feature?

scaevola Mon 11-Mar-13 13:20:58

Dress code - wtf? Or is it eg overseas in a different tradition which they are concerned a UK guest might be unaware of?

Schedule (depending on what's in it) might be a good idea, so you know how long you have to get between different parts of the day.

ivykaty44 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:22:08

lounge suit? Black tie?

CharlotteBronteSaurus Mon 11-Mar-13 13:23:01

ooh, now sometimes i think I would have welcomed a schedule.
it would have been quite handy, for example, to know that at the wedding we attended which started at noon, that there would be 4 hours of dicking around taking photos and "mingling" before we would be offered refreshments. I could have packed some butties and a hip flask.

"Everyone must wear a specific shade of teal green (sample attached) plus a top hat (even the women). The theme will be 'nutty as a fucking fruitcake'. Gift list for a brocante in the South of France to follow. There are no rooms at the clearing in the forest, miles from anywhere for guests but please feel free to bring your own yurt."

Hopefully Mon 11-Mar-13 13:24:02

Charlotte I went to a wedding like that once, at 8.5 months pregnant. I genuinely thought I was going to die.

Abra1d Mon 11-Mar-13 13:25:06

Laurie For one second you had me!

Trills Mon 11-Mar-13 13:26:09

Schedule sounds like a useful thing to send out.

Dress code: come dressed like your favourite soap opera barmaid? <hopeful>

Moominsarehippos Mon 11-Mar-13 13:26:34

Dress code? When the hell did that become a 'thing'?

I'd send the invite back with 'fuck off' written on it. I have no truck with That Sort of Thing. Unless its something like Wizard of Oz, Greese or The Sound of Music themes wedding. Hmmmmm, maybe next time...

FashionFail Mon 11-Mar-13 13:27:53

Between us, we will have something.

Spill ....

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 13:28:12

Why are people surprised at a dress code? It is normal to indicate whether a lounge or morning suit are required and whether ladies are supposed to wear hats or just invited to do so - isn't it? Is for every wedding I've been to...

fossil971 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:28:48

you know you are completely at liberty to ignore it?

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:28:49

The schedule is really useful, really, really useful. It's the specifics I'm going to struggle with.

As detailed elsewhere, I have nothing which fits (have lost 3.5 stone and am skint) and this is less a wedding, more a hoopla.

I can manage the day before stuff as that is more casual as dress codes go. The day itself is formal (fascinator or hat required) and heels should be high. I have never worn heels in my life. There are pimms soirees and afternoon garden parties to which I have to wear a semi formal dress (no skirts, should be summery) and men may wear shirt sleeves if warm and shorts if smart.

I own one dress. One dress. No heels. Dress isn't particularly formal.

I don't want to mock or sneer at or ignore or anything else, any of their requests. They are dear, dear friends and their wedding will be brilliant. I just don't know what to do.

DH is a levellers hoodie and tatty jeans type btw. He has work suits though but I don't think they count as formal. He has a dress uniform but that would be a v v v bad idea.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 13:28:55

Showy I'm guessing that it isn't a medieval theme otherwise you would be fine. That is always my worry grin

Dress Code: Pretend you're from Liverpool

<gets out onesie, Ugg boots and curlers>

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 13:30:13

Oh x-posts.

What size feet do you have? Can someone here lend you some shoes?

But actually - WTF are they thinking insisting on heel height? Very rude IMO.

Poledra Mon 11-Mar-13 13:30:25

OMG, it's Showy's yearly S'n'B thread! Along with the crocuses blooming, this tells me it must be Spring. <ignores snow outside>

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:30:42

Medieval and I'd be there with bells on. Literally.

x-posted, sorry don't mean to mock, thought your were just jesting.

Seriously, what size are you? I have so many frocks and shoes that don't fit I'm sure between us we could find you something.

Moominsarehippos Mon 11-Mar-13 13:31:20

I'm quite disappointed it wasn't 'come as your favourite sandwich'.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:31:39

THIS is not my annual S&B thread, this is a serious cry for help. It's not about the clothes. It's about my complete inability to adapt to modern life.

MirandaWest Mon 11-Mar-13 13:32:30

I would have issues with someone dictating the height of my heels. Would make me want to wear Crocs (and I don't even have any).

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 13:32:32

Pretty Joe Browns dress not going to be good enough? I have several size 8 ball gown type things in addition to the little black silk number. I can and will lend you something.

Unless it is vicars and tarts or animal print. Then you are on your own.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:32:38

No mock, please do. It cheers me right up. Was just pointing out that I love these people. Will not be telling them to sod off or ignoring their requests. It's their day, I want to get it right for them.

Meglet Mon 11-Mar-13 13:33:24

I'd ignore the heels thing for a start. How rude!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 13:33:56

No I would struggle with that tbh. I am short but I refuse to wear stupidly high heels to things like weddings. I still want to be able to walk at 3pm!

What size are you? Surely we can rustle you up something lovely to wear?

MrsKoala Mon 11-Mar-13 13:33:56

i dont mind dress code as in longe suit etc. but i was recently invited to a wedding which specified colours and types of hats that women should wear. we declined.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:34:02

Joe Browns dress will NOT be good enough, no.

I don't know about women's formal stuff but I'm assuming it's these sort of slinky, silky things with little jackets and roadkill in your perfect hair and make-up and heels and monochrome and block colours and what the fuck am I doing here?

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:34:48

Heels I can't do. Never worn them. Would look like John Wayne. But what DO I do. Where do I start?

scaevola Mon 11-Mar-13 13:35:04

Anyone who attempts to prescribe things like heel heights is in a fantasy world!

Ditto whether the too half of your attire is actually stitched to the bottom half.

This could be a hilarious event!

But, seriously: do not compromise on heels - you don't wear them and you'll be uncomfy. I doubt they'll attempt to police that on the day.

I have been to at least 30 weddings (mostly 10-20 years ago) and have never seen an invitation with a dress code, is this a new custom?

ivykaty44 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:35:45

charity shops - ask in them as they keep more formal wear hidden as often poeple aren't looking for it. I went to a ball and found when I asked in charity shops they had a wealth of interesting dresses out the back grin

QueenCadbury Mon 11-Mar-13 13:35:48

If they really are dear dear friends then surely they should accept that you are skint and accept that you don't do heels.

I'm all for dressing up and respecting people's dress codes but I think when it's this specific then it's a bit rude of them.

mungotracy Mon 11-Mar-13 13:36:01

There is nothing modern about a dress code or a schedule at a wedding.

ivykaty44 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:36:51

oh and wear flats - if anyone says anything

say oh my goodness the heels snapped of in the awful guttering and I had to snap the other own - this keeps happening and then wink

MountainOrMolehill Mon 11-Mar-13 13:36:52

Afternoon garden party and high heels?

Lawn and heels?

You need to get in touch as the bride hasn't thought this through.

heels? Thank goodness I'm not invited as I'm not allowed to wear heels (had bunion surgery, doctors have ordered no heels on pain of bunions returning). I might invest in some sparkly Birkies, but that's as far as I'd go as regards footwear instructions.

Ad why do men get to wear smart shorts, if women can't wear skirts? I look loads more put together in a smart skirt than DH does in shorts confused.

scaevola Mon 11-Mar-13 13:38:18

The garden party dress code bit (which is useful) is planters. I'd go in a Laura Ashley or Monsoon style dress with ballet flats - channel period documentaries of the Raj or Death on the Nile.

belfastbigmillie Mon 11-Mar-13 13:38:23

I am seriously appalled that they have told you to wear high heels! Post this on the feminist forum and see what they have to say about it! What about people with rheumatism/bad hips etc No way would I wear high heels because someone ordered me to. What is the world coming to?

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 13:38:34

Ok, we can get you through this. Is the dress you have the one you linked us to on your annual d&v thread last year? Bluey shift dress with flowers? That would be fine for the "garden party" (wtf?)

I would ignore the footwear requirements. How do they know if you can wear high heels or not for medical reasons. Alternatively you could go for a maxi dress to hide your feet, then no one will see if y have the right shows or not.

Do you have a budget for your outfit? What size are you now (well done on the weight loss) I have a wardrobe full of dresses that no longer fit me in sizes from 12-18! Fascinators can be picked up for £10 and tarted up if ned be.

Suit hire for DH is easy, forget about him.

When is the wedding??

GemmaTeller Mon 11-Mar-13 13:39:38

I'm going to a big wedding later in the year, so far I have got:

beautiful Coast dress from ebay £10

high black satin shoes ebay £10

and am hoping to get a hat from ebay for no more than £20

No way am I joining in the weddingzilla £500 an outfit brigade ( I is mean with my money grin )

'Heels must be high'. So what will they do to you if yours aren't? Send you home? And how are they going to check? I have visions of Bridezilla crawling round on the floor with a tape measure between her teeth....

I give them six months

thestringcheesemassacre Mon 11-Mar-13 13:39:56

Do you have a mate/sister you can borrow from?
I regularly lend my mates stuff for weddings/balls and vice versa.

And yes charity shop.
will your H need a morning suit?

MrsKoala Mon 11-Mar-13 13:40:14

you need wedges for a garden party. this stops heel sinkage and pulled calf muscles from straining to stand on your toes.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 13:40:29

Oh my. Tbh I'd be a bit hmm at that as however dear the friends are they have perhaps got a little carried away planning their dream wedding and not thoguht about the cost for their guests.

But between us all I am sure we can think of something, I know you don't like accepting things but can we not lend you stuff to be posted back afterwards?

I can manage the day before stuff as that is more casual as dress codes go. The day itself is formal (fascinator or hat required) Can't help with hat I'm afraid! Formal how? Are we talking floor length black tie or just a nice dress? Nice dress as I said on the other thread can definitely be picked up on ebay for £10 as it is flooded with people who have bought a £100 frock for a wedding and want to sell it on afterwards.

and heels should be high.
What size feet? Got some nice low ones I wore for my wedding that are pretty comfortable (I was pregnant remember, comfort was important!) or some high beaded white ones I had for balls at uni. Less comfortable.

I have never worn heels in my life. There are pimms soirees and afternoon garden parties to which I have to wear a semi formal dress (no skirts, should be summery) and men may wear shirt sleeves if warm and shorts if smart.

I think your joe browns dress with the nice little jacket you mentioned would be ok for that, it looked like a good garden party dress smile

I own one dress. One dress. No heels. Dress isn't particularly formal.

GemmaTeller Mon 11-Mar-13 13:40:34

There are fascinators on ebay for about £5 (was looking yesterday)

EauRouge Mon 11-Mar-13 13:41:58

How breathtakingly rude to say that you should wear high heels! shock I would be tempted to wear my DMs just to fuck them off. It's useful to know what sort of day it's going to be so that you can dress accordingly but specifying the height of heels is taking the piss. Tell her you've got a bad back and you've been told by a chiropractor to wear flats.

MrsKoala Mon 11-Mar-13 13:42:22

what size are you op?

curryeater Mon 11-Mar-13 13:42:36

wtaf. Seriously, they think they can tell you what height heels?
If you have back problems or similar, do you need an actual dr's note?

If you do not usually wear heels you will need several weeks' lessons to pass your test, or you will have to wear L-plates and have a qualified heel-wearer at your side, holding your elbow, by law. Ask someone very patient to do this, and ideally not your partner, because this can ruin relationships.

QueenCadbury Mon 11-Mar-13 13:42:40

Sorry I realised my previous post was in no way helpful. I was just shock that people can be so prescriptive about what you should/not wear.

If you want to go and want to respect the dress code,it sounds like you are going to have to spend some money. So as others have said we need budget, size etc.

MountainOrMolehill Mon 11-Mar-13 13:42:51

Could you walk in wedgies do you think? Low ones? A kitten heel?

Definitely scour e bay for a bargain dress. Floral or bright colour if its a summer wedding. Maybe go into a few shops like monsoon and ask their advice and try some dresses on? Then you'll know what you're comfortable in and what colours suit you.

But you must be comfy or you won't enjoy it as much.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 13:43:18
Dadowado Mon 11-Mar-13 13:43:22

Agree with QueenCadbury. However, I found a great outfit for a wedding in a charity shop, also a fascinator. If you have some time, go round every one you can get to - you will be surprised what is there. If you don't do heels, you don't - could you borrow a pair? Do you know anyone who could lend you an outfit (box of chocs or bottle of wine as a 'thank you.')? Does the invitation actually specify high heels? If so, that is going too far!

Poledra Mon 11-Mar-13 13:44:05

"roadkill in your perfect hair "

There was a dead pheasant on the road on my way into work this morning - do you want me to run out and collect it for you? It was recognisable as a pheasant at 8am this morning, and it's probably frozen, so shouldn't be too much problem <helpful>

Fuck the HIGH heels - cannot believe they specify height.

What dress size are you Show ? <Rallies the troops> I have a few lovely Phase Eight / Damsel in a Dress 16's.

We'll sort this.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:44:49

Oh the heels will be fine on the terrace and there will be that bit where all the beautiful people playfully kick off their heels to gallop on the lawn, fuelled by pimms and canapés.

They are brilliant friends. I love them dearly. But they are the opposite to us in every way. They are rich and stylish and like to travel and eat out and own nice cars and houses and live in the City and have City jobs and we live in Norfolk in a 2up 2down terrace with a couple of children, a car held together by electrical tape and wishes, no money and a busy sewing machine.

Seriously, we've had to sell stuff to afford a ferry to get there, scrabbled to afford accommodation and now this other stuff. I'm baffled and a bit worried.

I know them. If I phoned right now and said 'sorry old chaps we're skint' they'd say sod it, come in a bin bag/how can we help/who cares, just come. They're good people. But this is their wedding. I want to celebrate it with them in the way they want to celebrate.

Am going to the charity shops in a bit. What do I look out for? Is there a length of dress considered correct for formal wedding dress? One colour? No patterns? Arms covered I think isn't it?

I should have gone to finishing school instead of arsing about in the local woods building dens.

MooncupGoddess Mon 11-Mar-13 13:45:24

FFS.

Can you go 50s style? Dorothy Perkins has some nice flowery fitted dresses that aren't too expensive:

here

Then, shoes in a matching colour with a tiny heel so it looks like you've made an effort.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 13:45:58

Showy I'm sure between us we can get an outfit together. I have size 5 feet and a wardrobe full on clothes shoes and bags that should really go on eBay or to the charity shop. I can photograph some bits and post anything you like to you for first refusal.

Bless you for embracing your dear friends madness! smile

JuliaScurr Mon 11-Mar-13 13:47:08

You, my friend, need charity shops. And cheap flat shoes from Primark.
Have a nice time smile

Trills Mon 11-Mar-13 13:47:47

Fuck the heels. They won't care.

MrsKoala Mon 11-Mar-13 13:48:02

can you get cheap mid height wedge mules from primark/shoe zone, then decorate/hide the plasticy strap over the foot with flowers/ribbon/butterflies etc from haberdashery/hobby craft? if you can borrow a dress you can match them.

Inertia Mon 11-Mar-13 13:49:31

Hang on- women have to wear high heels and fascinators while the men get away with shorts and darts shirts?

If this is the wedding of dear friends, they won't mind that you've turned up in low heels and a smart item of clothing that fits.

Is the bride a similar size to you? Can she loan you a dress of the sort that she has in mind? She'll be in a wedding dress after all. Or any friends that could lend you a dress?

MooncupGoddess Mon 11-Mar-13 13:50:58

If you can sew, buy a super-cheap hat from a market stall and accessorise it with some nice ribbon.

I'm sure pretty ballet flats or similar would be fine.

Show - when you go into charity shops ask if they have any party / prom dresses hidden away. Our local shops usually save all the party / prom ones for school leavers balls / christmas time so they might have some even if they aren't in the shop.

Inertia Mon 11-Mar-13 13:53:16

You mentioned the sewing machine- can you make a dress?

You can then tell all the swishy people that it's a unique piece created specially for the occasion by an up-and-coming designer.

BoffinMum Mon 11-Mar-13 13:54:08

FFS, wear what you like! Ignore the wedding fashion nazis.

I have a green and flowery Fever dress on the MN pinterest swapboard if you're anywhere near a size 12/14? I wore it to a wedding myself and got lots and lots of compliments on it.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:55:18

That linked dress I like Indith! I have good shoulders/arms too from the resistance training. I may be too pale though.

I'm v v pale, a size 8,light brown hair and blue eyes, have a nice figure but have had 2 emcs so my stomach though flat/defined, is not what it once was. I like green best. Legs are a nice shape but have stretchmarks down to my knees so need decent coverage.

I can't wear heels, be them wedges or kittens or platforms or fuck me sideways stilettos. I wear Doc Marten's.

The heels aren't for the garden party bit, they're for the wedding. The garden party says nowt about footwear, just specifies a summer dress.

I have a million hats. Most are crocheted or patchwork. One has ban the bomb on it?

fossil971 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:56:50

My best going-out dresses have all been from charity shops. Way to go. And look out for a nice pashmina/wrap, and if you are handy with a sewing machine, you can alter anything oversized you find to fit and flatter a bit better. Nobody will be looking close up, as long as there is an overall impression of English country garden party it will be fine. smile. And above all go for comfortable shoes - low wedges are good and add a bit of height. You'll have the last laugh at the end of the day.

I think I would pick out a few pretty artificial flowers to make a little hair corsage/fascinator rather than the awful debenhams-type ones. I feel like a muppet with anything on my head!

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 13:58:45

Hang on, to explain...

Wedding is formal wear which for the women should be hats/fascinators and high heels.

Garden party is a different day and men may wear shirt sleeves and smart shorts and women should wear a summer dress.

There is another reception and a 'meet the other guests' function too. I'm not going to them. I'm going to stay in with a gingerbread man and my best onesie.

Floggingmolly Mon 11-Mar-13 13:59:31

Just forget the heels. You say you want their day to be perfect, and I'm sure it will be, near enough.
But if their idea of perfection is their schedule and dress code being adhered to to the letter, and them not being adhered to is enough to throw the whole day off kilter, they're in for a serious land.

Floggingmolly Mon 11-Mar-13 14:01:45

There's a "meet the guests" function before the wedding, and a garden party after the wedding??? Wow.

JuliaScurr Mon 11-Mar-13 14:02:23
Poledra Mon 11-Mar-13 14:02:32

To be serious, I don't think there'll be someone checking on your heel height - they probably just mean dressy shoes, rather than a pair of DM lace-ups (sorry, Showy). I had (probably still have somewhere!) a pair of sparkly flat shoes that I bought for a formal do when heavily pg with DD1 and physically incapable of walking in anything higher than 0.5". I think a previous poster's idea of customising some flat shoes is fabulous, and would suit your personal style better than some fuck-off 5" stilettos.

MooncupGoddess Mon 11-Mar-13 14:02:48

So you need at least two different frocks? Good Lord, it's like the wedding festivities of Charles II and Catherine of Braganza. Will there be a round of cannon and fireworks?

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 14:03:03

Floggingmolly, that's not even the half of it. grin

A lot of it is optional thankfully.

Rikalaily Mon 11-Mar-13 14:04:05

Get your shoes (wedges feel like you are walking in flats!) and dress from here >>> http://www.everything5pounds.com/ Very cheap but most of the stuff is decent quality considering the price and I've had tons of compliments when I've worn dresses from there to weddings etc. I don't get out of my jeans very often so spend as little as possible because it will just be sat in the wardrobe for years afterwards.

They change thier stock very very often so you can look every few days if you don't find anything you like at first.

Rikalaily Mon 11-Mar-13 14:04:49

Forgot to tick the box blush

www.everything5pounds.com/

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 14:08:56

Dear God it sounds like a right circus!

CMOTDibbler Mon 11-Mar-13 14:09:57

SoH, if you want, I can post you a hat - I have red and black, silver, a cream top hat, and red fascinators. And if you are a size 6, I have some black heels that I wore once, gold similarly, cerise never worn - all of which you'd be welcome to just totter into church on and then change into flats after.

And if you wanted to hoik it in a bit, a red and white 50's dress with bolero and petticoat - the seams look like it would come in easily. Pic on my profile

I have no more weddings to go to, so they are all just sitting around.

Is it just the garden party and wedding you need to cover?

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 14:15:58

So if it just the garden party and wedding then use your joe browns dress for the garden party. it is pretty, smart enough especially with your jacket and will be fine. Then scour ebay for something nice for the formal wedding. Sod the heels, you won't be the only one in flats. I bet you can do it for under £20.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 14:19:07
Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 14:21:13
Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 14:24:29

I am astonished at the heel dictating. I had to wear flat orthopaedic Mary Janes (think 5 year old girl school shoes) to a very glamorous wedding once, as I had bad knee problems. I felt crap enough about it, without feeling like I was breaking some ridiculous dress code.

How about some pretty beaded sandals for both days? Next do some with gems on, flat but sparkly and pretty.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 14:26:30

Or this tell me to stop!

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 14:28:14

Oh that last one is lovely.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 14:29:45

Do I have to go get the boy from school? I'm having fun looking at dresses!

turkeyboots Mon 11-Mar-13 14:31:44

Forgive me if I have mixed you up with another poster, but this is an Irish wedding isn't it?

In that case the under 40 female guests will be in short, tight, bright and shiny dresses. The others will be nice sensible skirt suit things. But you are forrin, so wear what you like, but prepare to feel underdressed regardless!

Jacksmania Mon 11-Mar-13 14:34:20

Showy, I wish I could post you my pretty dress I wore to the fancy-schmanciest wedding ever last year, it sounds like it would fit.
Postage from Canada a bit steel though plus bloody Canada Post takes ages Glaikit said they send it by Mountie and the poor horse has to swim the Atlantic angrygrin

But hang on... you've lost 3 1/2 stone??? As in, about 50 pounds???? And you're now a size 8 - if I've got it right, that's a US 4 to 6... was that intentional or through illness? I hope you're ok. And if intentional, please tell me how!!! Well done you!

Ok.

You can easily ignore the heels bit. Nobody will be checking and you won't be the only one who can't wear heels. Guaranteed.

formal wedding dress

Glaikit's last link was darling and would be formal enough, we'll find you some black satiny looking ballet flats for next to nothing. You don't have to wear a nasty fascinator. Either a) buy some florist's wire (it's for pennies) and wire up a rose from your/your mum's/your friend's garden - there are tutorials as to how to do this online - or b) get a nice silk flower frome etsy or somewhere. Wear the flower over your ear - again, google is your friend. It'll have the same visual effect as a fascinator but will be much nicer.

garden party

I am also size 8, pale, with blue eyes and brown hair, and I have a dress that will fit you! Feel free to borrow it if you like the sound of it: It is a really lovely dark blue dress with roses along the v-neckline. The skirt is sort of garden fairyish smile and will hide any post-cs worries beautifully. The roses are edged in black, so you could wear the black ballerinas again...

Do you feel any better yet?

BOF Mon 11-Mar-13 14:39:22

I've messaged you some dress pics via FB you can borrow- all size eights, Karen Millenish type stuff, perfect for weddings.

kelhen Mon 11-Mar-13 14:43:22

I got an invite once that specified "Celtic attire or white (yes, white) tie". Nobody bothered and turned usual wedding gear. Also a request at the end of the invite not to turn up at the church late as a courtesy to the bride

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 14:50:09

It is an Irish wedding yes. The bride is from a large, traditional, Catholic family. Has a beautiful accent. Is just v beautiful.

I do like the vintage style dress.

If I'm going to part with cash, I'd like something that at least slightly represented who I am. Otherwise I'll just look like I'm wearing somebody else's clothes. I like wispy, floaty, patchworky, hippy, handmade type stuff. Or vintage. Quite like 50s style tea dresses. Something a bit different.

Jacks, 3.5 stones sounds a bit misleading. I had a baby and had a lot of water retention post cs. I've lost 3.5 stones since the day after ds was born. You could write 1.5 stone off as water/blood volume/uterus/boobs etc etc so have lost 2 stones in real money. I've gone from a big 12/small 14 to a size 8 which is more my natural size from pre dc.

I didn't 'try' to lose it really. I have a v v v clingy boy who lives in a sling and I don't drive so have had a 2 mile school run each way twice a day carrying the boy (who weighs 2 stones himself), I run a lot for my own pleasure/sanity and I lift weights 4 times a week to stay toned.

Moominsarehippos Mon 11-Mar-13 14:50:11

Celtic attire... I would have worn the football strip or painted my face blue. Or both.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 14:54:42

Boffy, have you seriously sent me pictures of your stunning dd dressed in stunning dresses? You do know I'm a washed up 32yo don't you? I LOVE the first one though. It looks floaty. Tell me, is it floaty? I like floaty type things. I don't want to feel trussed up or shiny or sort of caged in.

I have floristry wire. I use it to make Christmas decorations.

jeez, it sounds like no Irish wedding I've ever been to - and I have been to many! On that note - there will be loads of ancient relatives tsk-tsking about how over the top everything is and adamantly not wearing heels smile

The dress I mentioned above for the garden party is totally wispy. Let me know if you want to see a pic of it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 11-Mar-13 14:57:03

Showy have a look at the Lady V website. I bought a lovely dress from there for a very glam wedding last summer, 50s style, it is beautiful - but about 4 sizes too big for you!

BOF Mon 11-Mar-13 15:00:42

Yes, all floaty! You'll look great in them. I shall parcel them up this week for you to try- I think you'll definitely be able to use one or two of them- I like the hippie relaxed-but-pretty style for weddings too, and it would be nice for the frocks to get some use as I'll never see size eight again or be invited anywhere nice smile

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 15:01:42
kelhen Mon 11-Mar-13 15:04:14

Goodness me. I'm Irish and that does sound unusual (and a bit like the pretentious goings on we had during the Celtic Tiger when we all thought we sh#t money).

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 11-Mar-13 15:13:21

Fuck the heels thing. That's outrageous (I know, I know, they're good people, dear friends ... but that IS outrageous.)

As is the hats/fascinators thing. Not everyone suits them and not everyone will already own one or want to wear them again; they can't expect people to spend money on something they'll wear once.

I'd be tempted to wear a dress with a belt, so no one can tell if it was a dress or a matching skirt and top. grin

I know that's not helpful. But lots of other people have posted helpful stuff.

BOF Mon 11-Mar-13 15:15:58

I'd assume the heels decree is simply shorthand for "a bit glam", so don't worry about that. There are plenty of of nice shoes and sandals that are wedding-friendly but not high.

Jacksmania Mon 11-Mar-13 15:17:06

<ponders borrowing Showy's boy and using him to lift weights>

My own is past the age where I could bung him in a sling grin

Hmm, my dress isn't floaty. It's sort of drapey and body skimming.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 15:17:55

floppy hat I would love one of these!!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 11-Mar-13 15:18:53

I dunno, BOF. 'heels should be high' doesn't sound like shorthand to me, it sounds pretty unambiguous and like shoe Nazism.

EuroShaggleton Mon 11-Mar-13 15:20:02

They seem to have forgotten the important thing about hosting is to make your guests comfortable...

BOF Mon 11-Mar-13 15:20:04

Hmm, I hope not. It does seem rather strange.

MortifiedAdams Mon 11-Mar-13 15:23:08

I think the high heels thing is do-able. Find some on ebay or in a charity shop and carry them, whilst wearing slippers.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 15:23:08

boho frock seriously tell me to stop before I buy myself!!

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 15:25:27
ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 15:26:09

They'll be feeding and watering us for 3/4 days, providing entertainment and excellent company. I think they're being more than generous. My sartorial failings are my own.

I LOVE that vintage dress and the hat, seriously like the style but I don't have that kind of money.

Snazzynewyear Mon 11-Mar-13 15:27:13

As others have said, just wear flats as 1) a wedding in uncomfortable shoes is the ninth circle of hell and 2) there is no way this can possibly be enforced. Despite what magazines tell us, not all women wear heels and you will not be alone showing up in flats.

Fascinators are the kind of thing lots of people buy in neutral colours for an event, then put away and never wear again. Ask around to borrow one. Or get cheap flower accessory as someone suggested.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 15:29:57

That floaty dress! The sleeves! Now THAT I would wear. It's not formal though is it? It's very me, that's how I know. Massive straw hat, Doc Marten's, patchwork coat. Sorry, I'm getting carried away.

My dress code for our wedding was 'wear what you want'.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 15:31:24

I can find a cheaper hat, bear with me! Which vintage dress and I'll scope about see what else is out there.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 15:33:06

Orange flowers

BOF Mon 11-Mar-13 15:33:19

I love that floaty dress! Very Margot.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 15:34:56

I think it is perfect for a wedding, straw hats are cheaper pink to match floaty dress

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 11-Mar-13 15:35:23

OP, I do take your point. They are being generous and putting on a lovely do.

But not wanting to/being able to wear heels isn't a 'sartorial failing'. At the lighter end of things, they can be very uncomfortable, especially if you're standing a lot. Being a bit more po-faced, what if someone has foot/leg/back/neck problems and simply can't wear them?

BOF Mon 11-Mar-13 15:35:26

Would look lovely with this sort of hat.

Startail Mon 11-Mar-13 15:36:15

Fascinators, I can do, hats I do in summer because otherwise my head aches. Summer dresses, assorted I can manage.

HEELS, HEELS I DO NOT DO!!!!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 11-Mar-13 15:36:17

Also, if you can sew, could you make yourself a floaty summery frock? Choose some lovely fabric and rip off one of these that people have linked to?

Ashoething Mon 11-Mar-13 15:55:35

Do people really go along with these kind of bizarre requests? I guess they must do but I was shock when my friend told me that her friend demanded she get contacts as none of the other bridesmaids wore glasses-and she went along with it!!

Wear what you like and feel comfortable in-your lovely friends sound a bit too try hard to me.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 16:14:36
ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:19:12

I really like that indith. But is it a bit wintery? August wedding, I might bake.

Contacts? shock

I have a purple hat like the one linked BOF.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:21:06

I know, I know, it looks like a wedding dress but oh my God THIS.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 16:24:54

Haha I was just looking at that same one!

Yes probably a bit wintery. What colour scarves/wraps do you have? You probably need to go for short sleeves/sleeveless and take for when in case it is cold.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 16:26:23
ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:27:36

Wraps? None. I have a purple scarf which would do. Is velvet. Um, couple of red ones. I have mostly big, knitted chunky ones.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:29:06
ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:33:18

I have a deckchair which would go with that!

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 16:36:33

A dress that goes with purple then.

That one reminds me of a dress we have that belonged to my great grandmother.

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:36:58
Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 16:40:07

I don't have a clue about sewing. Lovely though.

BanjoPlayingTiger Mon 11-Mar-13 16:42:44

show you know you can get high heeled Docs don't you? whistles innocently

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:44:25

Bad Banjo. No biscuit. <googles>

What IS Pimms btw?

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 16:45:04

Ooooo yes yes to that ww2 one!

pleasestoptalking Mon 11-Mar-13 16:45:36

I would either beg, steal or borrow (ok stealing may be going a bit far) or ignore.
They are your friends so they'll be pleased that you're there.

This all sounds a bit weird. I have never received a dress code for a wedding. My guess is that they are either minor royalty or into am dram in a big way... am I close???

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:47:06

Can I wear something described as steampunk and/or victoriana to a fancy schmancy wedding?

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:49:38

<snort> at am dram. No!

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 16:51:18

Pimms is a fruit cup usually made with gin, served at Wimbledon to the gentry and by me a bbqs! (Although I prefer the whiskey based on) it has sliced fruit cucumber and mint in it.

Not suggest these actual shoes, but could you cope with the tiny heel? Mary janes

ShowOfHands Mon 11-Mar-13 16:54:22

Sounds vile lovely.

I have never worn heels. Seriously.

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 16:56:15

Ok so we are looking for completely flat dressy fancy shoes! That's fine, I can do that, but I need to feed ds, he is gnawing the door frame through to the kitchen!

I'll be back!

Glaikit Mon 11-Mar-13 16:57:32

You don't do ballet pumps though do you?

givemeaclue Mon 11-Mar-13 17:00:54

Please please tell us the full schedule and required attire, my mide is boggling at this need full details

What size are you? What size are your feet? If I am anyway near your size I shall have a dig about and see what stuff I have I can post. And I'm sure others would do the same

Primark/Penneys are doing suede wedges at the moment for €10 (I don't do heels either but am considering purchasing a couple of pairs for work in the summer) - red, navy or tan, straw heels so quite summery/garden partyish.

Can you tell us the venue without outing yourself? (am nosey cos am Irish and want to know if I've ever been to a wedding there!)

corlan Mon 11-Mar-13 17:30:05

There are a few very,very cheap garden partyish dresses here on Penny Plain.

I think they are aimed at older women but some of them are OK!

Hullygully Mon 11-Mar-13 17:33:49

The day itself is formal (fascinator or hat required) and heels should be high. I have never worn heels in my life. There are pimms soirees and afternoon garden parties to which I have to wear a semi formal dress (no skirts, should be summery) and men may wear shirt sleeves if warm and shorts if smart.

IS THE WEDDING IN FUCKING STEPFORD?

Will there be mogadon in the champs and will the laydeeze retire while the men quaff port and smoke cigars?

I would be RAGING if I got a request like that.

HEELS SHOULD BE HIGH!!!!!!!!!

Showy, If I didn't know you I would never ever ever believe this.

hahha, I misread Hully's indignant caps as

iS THE WEDDING ON FUCKING STEROIDS?

It's totally a wedding on steroids! (please post the full schedule)

cocolepew Mon 11-Mar-13 17:44:16

I have hairband type thing from monsoon. It is white with a clear stone and white feathers. It sits flat on your head. PM me your address if you would like it. Its dressish but a bit different. Cant help with dresses, you're much thinner than me!

Flosshilde Mon 11-Mar-13 17:51:27

Showy, I have a size 8 red silk Phase 8 wrap dress which doesn't suit me as my boobs are too small. It's knee length and gorgeous and would be v flattering over a C section bump.

Do you want it? It will sit in my wardrobe forever otherwise. I will stick a picture on my profile if you're interested.

I have just realised you're an 8. Which I am not grin I do however have a fab cream wedding hat....

cocolepew Mon 11-Mar-13 17:58:21

What size are your feet?

EduCated Mon 11-Mar-13 18:03:27
EduCated Mon 11-Mar-13 18:07:32
mewkins Mon 11-Mar-13 20:53:49

If I were you I would wear a smarter version of what you usually wear eg. If you are a strictly jeans and jumper person I would go for wide legged trousers and a sleeveless blouse (similar to that victoriana dress you linked to). Also wedge or platform shoes or any sandals you have as they'd be hidden by the trousers anyhow. Seriously you can absolutely wear trousers to a wedding - my mum and half the female guests wore trousers to mine. No one cared and everyone looked nice. As a concession, a huge flower in your hair, hat (charity shops should be a good source) or something else in uour hair would make it more weddingy.

As the bridal couple you should feel privileged that people want to celebrate your wedding with you and trust them as grown ups to choose
appropriate clothes to wear. And even if they don't, at least they made the effort to turn up. Rant over.

bigbadbarry Mon 11-Mar-13 21:30:06

Definitely wear flats

CeeceeBloomingdale Mon 11-Mar-13 21:36:13

If they are good friends then I'd slap them hard. They'll appreciate it one day. Seriously, heel height, what on earth? I can't wear heels at the moment as I'd put my back out, I'd be claiming disability discrimination if I was a guest! On the more useful front Matalan does fascinators from about £3 or £4 which are surprisingly nice for that type of thing.

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 11-Mar-13 21:38:05

It sounds like you're getting fitted now but just wanted to say I am. Formal sort if person. My idea of casual clothes is smart black trousers and fitted top. I do not own a pair of trainers or jogging bottoms.

BUT I would be appalled at that dress code. I don't wear high heels. I have been to weddings wearing lovely summery dresses in flattish shoes. I have Aldo Wien floaty skirts Snd blouses. I never wear hats to a wedding apart from one in Wales where we hired them. Fascinates look tacky.

Oh, a fabric shop or haberdashery (Hickey's) will have cheap fabric flowers and feathers for a DIY fascinator.

Chandon Mon 11-Mar-13 21:47:55

I would love ot if you would take up the generous offers of the MNers above, and then post a pic on profile.

A lovely MN support story! Go for it.

BreasticlesNotTesticles Mon 11-Mar-13 21:52:01

That Boden dress is lovely!

Snazzynewyear Mon 11-Mar-13 22:00:54

Just looking back at the instructions for the men at the potential garden party, there's potential there for some bloke to go slightly wide of the mark and arrive in a Hawaiian shirt and beach shots. smile

Flosshilde Mon 11-Mar-13 22:31:28
ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 13:34:51

Oh you people are just brillig. Thank you for your kind offers of help for a washed up hippy. MN is marvellous. I don't say that enough.

I think we've found a solution. By we I mean super BOF and her legendary cape/knickers over tights. She sent a couple of dresses over and one of them fits, covers up all hideous bits and matches a hat I already own. BOF herself will have to tell you whether it looks ridiculous, though she informs me she's ill so the picture I've sent her might have finished her off completely and she'll never recover, let alone post on MN again. Bagsy her cape frankly.

So, I have a purple dress and a purple hat. I will try and work out how to get the picture from my phone onto here.

I have some flat purple velvet thai slippers but they wouldn't be weather friendly for owt but brilliant sunshine I suspect.

So shoes and a wrap or jacket or something? To match purple.

And what do people do about things like hair? Do you go to a hairdressers on the day? This will be my only holiday/childfree day in 6.5yrs. I'm even going to wear my good knickers. Should a hairdresser attempt something?

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 13:58:19

Have added a couple of pics. Laugh away... grin

Indith Wed 13-Mar-13 14:02:21

I would laugh but you are still private grin. I am sure you look lovely.

Hair dresser? Are they those people who wave scissors, try to wash your hair while you lean back over a very uncomfortable sink and try to engage you in small talk? Not visited one of those in a very long time. I just aim to wash it and make it slightly less frizzy by applying something randomly picked up in a mad panic after staring at the shelves in the supermarket for far too long trying to make head or tail of all the serums and stuff.

turkeyboots Wed 13-Mar-13 14:10:57

You look great.

Wash and blow dry from hairdresser. Will make hair all swishy and shiny.

Indith Wed 13-Mar-13 14:11:08

Remembered I have an "updo pin" that comes out for extra special occasions. Really easy to use, you just shove it in and it magically holds your hair in a twist. like this mine has a decorative bit on it though so it looks pretty too.

Indith Wed 13-Mar-13 14:12:06

You look great smile and envy.

Poledra Wed 13-Mar-13 14:19:20

I'm disappointed - I could do with a laugh but you just look gorgeous. Humph.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 14:19:54

Arf at that link "it's that simple, 1 2 3 <smile>" Yeah right. I go to the school of hairdressing you went to indith. Wash, go. Don't go to the hairdressers. Wondering if I should though.

MooncupGoddess Wed 13-Mar-13 14:20:18

You look lovely. Probably a neutral jacket/posh cardigan would be best to complement the purple.

Hairdressers are high-risk, in my experience. There's always a possibility they'll get it totally wrong (especially with styling) and you'll have to run home and put your head under the tap, so maybe best to go a day or two in advance rather than on the day itself.

Perfect. smile

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 13-Mar-13 14:24:13

You look ber-yeeeeutiful!

Agree about a neutral jacket to sling over the top. Keep your hair under the hat/in a bun/nice ponytail and don't worry about hairdressers.

Shoes ... flat neutral brogues? Aldo have a sale at the mo, as do Clarks. Or ebay. Ballet flats would be nice too.

Indith Wed 13-Mar-13 14:27:51

It actually is simple though, I promise. Even I can do it and I can't locate a hairbrush most days. I went to a hairdresser to get my hair done once. It had all fallen out by the time I got half way down the street.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 14:33:19

Aww you're all drunk very complimentary. Lying obv. Please be honest. Do I look ridiculous? I don't feel like me.

I love brogues. Colour? No to ballet whatsits.

Will attempt uppy, twisty hair.

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 14:39:04

Can't open your profile, am poised to give feedback! grin

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 13-Mar-13 14:42:42

I am not drunk! Well, on tea and biscuits maybe. [rock n roll]

Paleish neutral for shoes. Not too tan/yellow. This kind of business

Or these.

Indith Wed 13-Mar-13 14:42:53

You don't look daft, you look great. Do you look like you? Perhaps not. So then what do you want to do? Borrow a dress that you think is more in keeping with the wedding but not feel comfortable or wear something that is more your thing but not up to scratch for the dress code? The borrowed dress might feel more you once you've teamed it with a jacket and shoes that you like.

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 14:43:14

Too slow, you've sorted it!

Dress is excellent, I'd suggest hair down (properly blowdried if poss!) to balance out the floaty hem-the hat does the job, but no way will anyone keep their hat on all afternoon in August, it'll be much too hat. Can you do big(ish) hair?

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 14:43:40

hot. not hat blush

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 14:52:19

I have never attempted big hair. I have dyed it ridiculous colours if that helps? I suspect not. I don't do anything to it. I braid it or put it up simply, that's it. Usually do bog all to it tbh.

I wish I could wear heels. I'd get these in a flash. I'd love some brogues. Ballet flats I won't wear as I feel like an infant in them. I like a bit more chunk iyswim. I wear Doc Marten's as a rule. I like to know I have footwear on.

Not feeling like me is fine actually. Not sure what 'me' is. I'm thinner than I've been in years, look totally different and nothing from my old life fits. DH is similarly pale over the whole wedding. I feel like a poor friend and don't want to get it all wrong. I'd like to look acceptable and not like I'm wearing somebody else's clothes. I love the dress actually and it fits perfectly. I'm not used to having a figure though. I wear baggy stuff all the time. DH says I dress like I'm hiding.

don't wear the heels.
unless you're tiny, you'll be fine.
it's only the "dress code" they can enforce - they can't exactly force you to damage your feet for them!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 13-Mar-13 14:55:31

You don't look like a poor friend in the pictures. Did my links help at all? I saw too late that you don't do ballet flats – sorry – but I liked the brogues I linked to.

Viviennemary Wed 13-Mar-13 14:57:37

Schedule sounds OK. People might have babies to feed and so on. Or just going for part of the day. But dress code isn't on. I wouldn't bother going.

Indith Wed 13-Mar-13 14:57:46

Be proud of yourself!

shoes?

it looks great.
if you're worried about your figure showing, you could wear a shawl or cardigan when you feel self-conscious.

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 15:07:14

You don't look like a poor friend at all, but it sounds like you need a bit of practice at wearing stuff that shows your body to feel confident in a posh frock at the wedding-it's not for a few months, would you be able to start wearing slightly more fitted clothes just to get used to your new shape?

I think if you really want to stick with heels to fit the dress code, wedges are your best best-much more chunky than a heel, so you'll feel more comfortable in them.

I think you're amazing for going along with the loony rules, you must be a great friend, but do remember that you're there to have fun too!

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 15:09:07

Really vivienne? DH's best mate of 20yrs? I would never not go. Schedule I wholly appreciate. grin

Linked brogues look a bit, um, orthopaedic. Woud never wear again either.

Indith shoes are fine but meh. Too dainty and girly.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 15:14:21

I have no intention of ever wearing heels. I suspect after 32yrs, I couldn't do it comfortably anyway.

It's not so bad having a dress code is it? I suppose they are just having their day and you're at liberty to conform or not?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 13-Mar-13 15:15:44

Oh, sorry, I quite liked those brogues. blush And to be honest I thought all brogues looked a bit orthopaedic ...

But that's the kind of colour I think would be good with your purple dress.

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 15:19:18

How about these? Neutral, walkable. They are quite dull, so won't suit your personality, but a start?

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 15:21:06

Oh god, that looks all wrong. Please don't take offence, I just meant you sound really interesting, and I know those shoes aren't!

they'd be too high for me.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 15:24:56

The linked brogues are fine in style. I LOVE brogues. It's the colour. My grandma wears several orthopaedic pairs of shoes she has specially made. They are exactly that colour.

I couldn't walk in wedges DrGarnett. I just couldn't. It'd be embarrassing when I fell on the cake/in the ornamental ponds.

i love office
do any of these look right?

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 15:28:56

Ah ok, didn't know if low ones would help, but I understand the need to stay upright. Will have a look and see if I can find something properly flat and suitable!

bigbadbarry Wed 13-Mar-13 15:58:14

I see everybody else has already said it but wow! You have a great figure and that dress with hat looks lovely on you. <no help with shoes, sorry)

Naoko Wed 13-Mar-13 16:14:54

You look lovely smile I'd get a wrap of some sort to go over it, as it does have quite a deep neckline and I found myself at a function a while ago where I realised halfway through that every time I reached for the water jug on the table the people sat opposite got a very good look down my similarly deep dress blush (Spent the rest of the day hoiking it up and standing up very straight, good for your posture at least!)

Shoes - I also can't do heels, at least no higher than one inch. For my best friend's wedding last summer I wore some very pretty flat strappy sandals. They looked fancy and expensive (they weren't) and not at all out of place, even though every other woman in the place was in high heels. Could you do something like that? It's a summer wedding, so open strappy shoes would be fine.

cocolepew Wed 13-Mar-13 17:25:12

You look lovely. Don't bother with a hairdresser if you're wearing a hat.

Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 18:05:49

Pale grey or silver wrap with that frock I think. Would a flat sandal, flip flop type thing work for you?

You could braid your hair the night before slightly damp with a skooshy of something (mousse or a hold spray) and have sort of disheveled hippy like hair I also want you to wear a daisy chain round your head like a crown, but that would just be projecting my longing to be a hippy!

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 18:13:54

Some of those Office ones are lovely but sooooo expensive. Those linked mary jane ones, I have some Doc Marten's just like that so could wear them. I also have some shoes which are quite brogue like but no holes, they're green purple and yellow which sounds vile but I LOVE them. They might work actually.

My Mum has a beautiful pale grey pashmina which I could borrow.

Glaikit, you've just described my 'going out' hair. Wash and braid the night before, let down the next day, couple of flowers, done.

TBH I'll end up barefoot by the time the dancing starts anyway so shoes are fairly irrelevant. grin

BOF Wed 13-Mar-13 18:18:15

Yes yes, flowers in your hair! Lovely.

Hullygully Wed 13-Mar-13 18:20:30

you look vair pretty darling

vair

you will quite outshine yon bride

You look stunning.

envy

That's a jealous face and a "oh to have ever had a figure like that" face and a "oh to be that young" face

Seriously love, you look gorgeous. And stunning.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 18:30:35

Och, you drunks lovely folks.

Outshine the bride? Fnar. Imagine a really, really, really beautiful woman. Now make her 67% more beautiful, stunning figure, bloody lovely and a sunny disposition. That's yon bride. She is going to look so fabulous. And I don't give a witch's tit about fashion or wedding dresses but I know she's going to just look breathtaking. I shall avoid standing next to her tbh. I'll stand next to dh and repeatedly ask him if I look ridiculous/which fork to use next/whether I can sneak my gingerbread man out of my handbag yet.

Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 18:34:37

espadrilles?

I personally love a good wedding, not expecting an I native to any this year though sad

Anyone want to invite me to their wedding?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 13-Mar-13 18:40:50

Oh, I see. But you see, I do think a pale neutral would be really nice with purple ...

here?

here?

studded!

Inertia Wed 13-Mar-13 18:51:42

Outfit looks terrific!

How about flat silvery grey sandals to match the pashmina? Would probably be easier to match than trying to match specific shades of purple, plus you can get sparkly sandals these days if you're able to tolerate a bit of bling.

Inertia Wed 13-Mar-13 19:04:36
EduCated Wed 13-Mar-13 19:12:37

I know you said this isn't your annual thread, but I bloody luff you on S&B.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 19:20:53

Oh I love those espadrilles, seriously like. Like the sort of frilly, flowery nature of them and Inertia, those purple ones I like too, especially the colour. And you're going to roll your eyes but not only can I not wear heels, I can't do toe posts. I don't know what is wrong with my blooming feet but they hurt like a thousand knives.

I know, I know, I'm awkward.

I'll get it all out in one go. I'm teetotal, I don't like fizzy drinks, I find oversized belts and sunglasses silly (you look like a child dressing up), can't bear it when people put weetabix upside down and I don't like any part of Gregg Wallace, particularly his head.

Oh and I fancy David Mitchell.

Merguez Wed 13-Mar-13 19:33:40

I honestly don't think you should worry too much about the dress code. As long as you look as if you have made an effort, no-one is going to criticise you for wearing wrong shoes or whatever.

Dress codes are guidelines for people who are not sure about what is appropriate - you have your own sense of style and should be true to yourself.

Merguez Wed 13-Mar-13 19:37:10

When I got married my wonderful nanny, who had blue hair at the time, borrowed a suit - smart jacket and skirt - from a friend, and asked me beforehand if I thought it was Ok. She had obviously chosen it because she thought it was the sort of thing my friends would wear (and some of them would) - I said it was fine but didn't look like her normal style and she should wear what she felt comfortable in. She came in a multi-coloured sarong and looked amazing.

Maryz Wed 13-Mar-13 19:51:59

I have read this entire thread and am very impressed by all the offers of help. But I would like to point out that this is an Irish wedding. Therefore:

1) It will piss rain on the garden party so you can wear wellies and a poncho.

2) It will piss rain on the wedding so all the high heels will sink in the mud

3) Everyone will be so pissed at the wedding they won't notice what you are wearing

4) Everyone will be so hungover at the after party that onesies will be positively welcomed.

5) Once you get there, everyone will be having so much fun you will forget completely what you are wearing.

BOF Wed 13-Mar-13 19:53:57

Absolutely, Mary grin

Maryz Wed 13-Mar-13 19:55:56

And I'm dying to know where in Ireland the wedding is envy. I might just gatecrash go to watch.

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 19:56:21

Nice!

sigh

Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 19:59:36

I can't wear toe posts either, I have short stubby toes that have too big gaps between them. I'll be back with more no toe post, flat, weddingy sandals!

Maryz Wed 13-Mar-13 19:59:46

You could wear a long dress and no-one would see the shoes.

or a burkha

BOF Wed 13-Mar-13 19:59:56

Maybe you should wear your docs- be you, as people have said. Nowt wrong with a bit of polish and some purple ribbons.

Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 20:04:06

no toe post but a Bit ugly

Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 20:05:14
Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 20:06:08
ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 20:07:20

If all that's true, Lady Mary of Zed, I'm taking my Cath Kidston poncho and striped wellies.

Glaikit Wed 13-Mar-13 20:07:29

ooh

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 20:12:15

Will check your links in a mo, but do any of them top these babies?

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 20:15:56

The ooh ones. I love the ooh ones!

Well done glaikit.

I like the idea of wearing docs too though...

post your green and yellow shoes.
green and yellow would go well with purple

link an actual link. that just takes me to my ebay, not a listing...

Oh my god, those shoes are baaaaaad!

I've just read the whole thread and been reminded why MNers are soooo lovely.

It sounds like you're sorted, but you mentioned you liked green earlier. I have a green dress similar to this which you would be very welcome to if you think it would work for one of the many stages of the wedding (I am never, ever going to fit into it again and it would look amazing on your figure)

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 20:35:48

My greeny/yellowy shoes have a sunrise painted on them. Bit like these but less garish and brogue style. I love 'em.

ATruth, that green dress is beautiful. There's a line in the Barenaked Ladies song If I Had $1,000,000 about buying a green dress and dh sings it to me all the time. I crave the perfect green dress.

BOF Wed 13-Mar-13 20:39:25

Feel free to take that one i sent you in at the bust if you want to, Showy. I don't think I'm going to be a size eight again any time soon.

MaryZ I was just about to say... August wedding in Ireland?

You need an umbrella and you can't wear that (lovely) purple dress with no sleeves cos you will be absolutely freezing grin

But not a real green dress, that's cruel. grin

PM me your address SOH. It's yours. I'd love to think it would be worn again.

I should make it clear that it is a Zara/Mango (can't remember which) rip off of the Mouret, not the actual Mouret but I get the impression you wouldn't know or care about the difference anyway grin

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Mar-13 20:57:34

Other one's a size 10 BOF. It just falls right down! I love the colour of it too. It's beautiful and I have a beautiful necklace which would set it off perfectly. BUT I love the purple one too, so it's fine. grin

Terra, I love that song a bit too much.

Okay, not only does mouret mean bog all to me, Mango is a fruit and Zara is the tall one of the twins in the year below me at school. The twin who didn't get off with James on the back of the bus on a school trip to Barcelona.

Right so send me your bloody address and you can have the fruity twin's dress grin

JamInMyWellies Wed 13-Mar-13 21:37:32

Hello Mrs!

3.5 stone you must be about a size 6!

Can I help you with anything. I have frocks and lots of shoes.

But I did chuckle when reading kept thinking but its an Irish wedding everyone will be drunk singing and it will rain. Then I see Maryz has already pointed this out to you. grin

JamInMyWellies Wed 13-Mar-13 21:38:39

Crikey just checked your pics. Foxy lady you are looking fab!

Maryz Wed 13-Mar-13 21:56:07

Cath Kidson poncho and striped wellies would be great for most Irish garden parties I have been to.

This is an Irish garden party.

Maryz Wed 13-Mar-13 21:57:18

Ha MaryZ, I need a like button for that one!

Fashionfail Thu 14-Mar-13 16:09:28

Yes, yes address please! I promise you I will tick the floaty / hippy / wispy boxes

ShowOfHands Thu 14-Mar-13 16:25:07

My address is...

Showy,
Norfolk

HTH

Indith Thu 14-Mar-13 16:59:41

Course if we just sent stuff to "The crazy hippy who carries her baby in a sling and wears patchwork, Norfolk" it would probably get to you somehow.

Fashionfail Thu 14-Mar-13 18:16:24

I think the DMs should be mentioned in that description, and also possibly the puddle dress.

Maryz Thu 14-Mar-13 18:28:24

And the Cath Kidson brolly and wellies, though being Norfolk a lot of people may have them grin

Kinnane Sun 17-Mar-13 12:17:18

Moominsarehippo smile

Trills Sun 17-Mar-13 12:21:58

Sorry to distract from the dresses, but this is important:

Do Weetabix have a right side up?

Kinnane Sun 17-Mar-13 12:27:23

Trills,You've lost me there!

Trills Sun 17-Mar-13 12:31:57

Showy: I'll get it all out in one go. I'm teetotal, I don't like fizzy drinks, I find oversized belts and sunglasses silly (you look like a child dressing up), can't bear it when people put weetabix upside down and I don't like any part of Gregg Wallace, particularly his head.

Trills Sun 17-Mar-13 12:32:14

But I do love the idea of putting that on random threads... grin

Maryz Sun 17-Mar-13 14:25:13

[arf]

I never got past "teetotal" in that sentence, seeing as the thread is about an Irish wedding grin

I dare you to post that as a question in chat. Or even "AIBU to think that weetabix should not be put upside down?".

ShowOfHands Sun 17-Mar-13 14:31:48

Does weetabix have a right way up?

DOES WEETABIX HAVE A RIGHT WAY UP?

Of course it fricking well does. Go and look at a weetabix now. I don't care if you don't have one. Go to a shop. Do it. In the aisle. Report back.

Maryz Sun 17-Mar-13 14:44:05

<soothes>

I have started a thread for you. We can get the Mumsnet opinion on this.

Maryz Sun 17-Mar-13 14:44:30

Oh, here

grin

Charleymouse Thu 25-Apr-13 12:24:41

Showy you looks lurverly. XXX

Are the shoes sorted yet?

I don't have any practical beauty advice but if I were in your situation, I would decline the invitation. Weddings should be about celebration and making guests feel welcome and comfortable, not high heels FGS.

Good luck anyhow.

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