hypothetically, what do 42-year-old brides with two children wear?

(46 Posts)
curryeater Fri 11-Jan-13 15:54:45

they are getting married in church
Are short, have stocky legs, red hair, no tan or any likelihood of same, size 12 below 14 on top

Just wondering...

emsyj Fri 11-Jan-13 15:56:19

This! grin

Well, that would be my choice - but what sort of thing do you like/normally wear?

ISeeSmallPeople Fri 11-Jan-13 16:00:12

That's lovely.

What is your favourite party/wedding guest dress? I'd go with something like that but in cream. White is too harsh for redheads, or the terminally pale like me

curryeater Fri 11-Jan-13 16:00:52

Oh wow, that's really cute but I'm afraid it might be too like the sort of thing I had in mind for my dds!

No idea what I usually wear. Right now I am wearing uniqlo jeans with 4 jumpers and a fake fur hat, but that isn't quite the look I am going for.

Do you think one (hypothetically) could wear trousers? like a kind of drapey palazzo pant thing really flat fronted and long over heels? I honestly have awfully thick lower legs, no point in suggesting losing weight as it just won't go from there, they're just like that.

curryeater Fri 11-Jan-13 16:03:18

Agree, white kills me

What sort of shape exists for a dress that is flattering for a big bust, but not "hello boys"?

emsyj Fri 11-Jan-13 16:23:29

You can wear whatever you want, you just need to make sure it fits perfectly. Have you thought about having something made?

A halter neck could be good for a big bust...

Check out some of the big wedding blogs for ideas - lovemydress.net is the biggest, also rocknrollbride.com is popular.

Also be aware that things look totally different on from how they look on hangers/in photos/on models, so go around a few shops (do you want a 'wedding' dress?) and try on things that you might not necessarily like the look of - also try on things suggested by the assistant. I used to sell wedding dresses and people rarely bought the style they initially thought they liked best.

ISeeSmallPeople Fri 11-Jan-13 16:26:13

Look on eBay for pics as its old now, but monsoon orianne is lovely. No good for hiding calves though.

curryeater Fri 11-Jan-13 17:20:21

thanks. that was a fun brief day dream but if I get married it is pretty clear I won't be getting a new dress. the financial reality has just made itself very clear to me
I was going to say "I can't remember the last time I had a new dress" but that is a lie, it was over a year ago for my 40th birthday and I was really fat and I didn't really like it. Still wearing it though, now I don't really like it AND doesn't fit me smile

emsyj Fri 11-Jan-13 17:45:04

What will your budget be? It might help to get realistic suggestions rather than links to £4k fantasy dresses! grin

Also, if you wanted a second hand one they are usually very cheap as people are funny about second hand. There's a place in Liverpool called Copplestones that does bankrupt stock and ex-sample dresses, nothing over £300. I've never been there but a friend got her dress there. I don't think it's a luxury shopping experience, but they have a lot of very very reduced price dresses in perfect condition.

curryeater Fri 11-Jan-13 18:05:36

Actually emsy that sounds like a really fun shopping experience!

I don't have a budget. The reality is you can't get married without inviting some people (ok you can but my mum would be really really sad) and you can't invite some people without giving them something to eat and drink and then you look at it all and.... I'm not getting married, am I. the dress is the least of it. I mean if we invited 50 people and gave them a homemade ham sandwich and a glass of wine and a bit of cake each at £3 a head, that would be £150 and we can't even do that, so...

ISeeSmallPeople Fri 11-Jan-13 18:30:22

Have a look at the MSE wedding threads.
They will get you the fees, church, dress, food, drink, photographer & band with charge from £150 smile
You can invite people to celebrate your day. You don't have to pay to feed them. Ask for contribution to the wedding & reception rather than a wedding present.

ISeeSmallPeople Fri 11-Jan-13 18:33:33


Cerealqueen Fri 11-Jan-13 18:40:40

I'd go vintage!

IceNoSlice Fri 11-Jan-13 18:46:12

You can defo get married if you both want to- loving the MSE and contributions ideas. People will help, for sure! Ooh get married, then come and tell us about it.

Shop assistants don't need to know you have no intention of buying their dresses! Go in and play pretend, get then to show you some lovely flattering dresses to get ideas then eBay or charity shop it up!

TheFallenNinja Fri 11-Jan-13 18:50:39

Knowing smiles smile

Pompbear Fri 11-Jan-13 19:12:32

Invite your nearest and dearest for a group dinner. Book a restaurant, get married. Arrive at restaurant and suprise n+d. Split the bill. Married!

Ebay and a decent seamstress for a dress. Arrange pretty flowers from supermarket yourself. Practice hair and makeup yourself.... all pretty cheap!

Do it!!!!

Pompbear Fri 11-Jan-13 19:14:19

We did very similar for ours, went for curry and had an amazing day. Everyone loved it and it cost very little

Pompbear Fri 11-Jan-13 19:19:36

Or invite people (by email) to the ceremony and say you'll be booking lunch/dinner somewhere, at xxx cost, and ask everyone to let you know whether the can make both. Honestly real friends won't care! Weddings get so full of poncey crap! We planned ours in a month. No stress, just did it and it was great! Its refreshing not to know 6 months in advance, get the john Lewis gift list etc etc. You don't actually need to spend much to do it and have a great time x

Levantine Fri 11-Jan-13 19:40:12

You could fine a venue where you can do your own catering and ask everyone to bring something special to eat rather than a gift. People would love that. Masssive buffet of delicious home cooked food. Phase eight and monsoon do nice wedding dresses for not very much

AnaisB Fri 11-Jan-13 20:41:03

Oxfam bridal shops are good. Sorry can't link on phone.

AnaisB Fri 11-Jan-13 20:43:53

Also monsoon outlet shops - or the monsoon sale. Go on - get married.

Murraylover Fri 11-Jan-13 21:03:59

Pg9 Letti for inspiration
Most wedding cakes start at £150...

Levantine Fri 11-Jan-13 21:10:34

There is a posh M&S iced fruitcake that IS wedding cake. I had it at a christening recently.

curryeater Sat 12-Jan-13 11:56:00

Oh gosh, you are all great, thanks so much.
Feeling better this morning, as you do after a night's sleep, so this has all changed into a fun idea again. Thanks for all the great ideas.
there is some discrepancy between the usual formality of the palaver that surrounds a church wedding, and our budget. But we go to church and should be married in our church so people will just have to deal with whatever cheap and jolly stuff we cobble together around it.
thanks for the positive vibes everyone! really helps.

IceNoSlice Sat 12-Jan-13 14:24:29

We went to a wedding recently where guests brought food. The food was delish - far better than some bland hotel wedding food. Because it is a wedding, no-one wants to bring something rubbish so the guests went all out!

The way they arranged it was they designated someone (bride's sister in this case) in charge of food and guests rang her to discuss what they would bring. This way, if someone really wanted to make their special quiche they could, but the sister could co-ordinate so there was enough variety, savoury/sweet etc. A lot of people said 'what would you like me to bring?'

And because it was the sister (and not the bride herself), then the bride didn't need to worry about the food on the actual day.

They did BYO on booze too. No-one minded in the slightest. It was nice to drink exactly what you wanted without having to pay hotel bar prices TBH.

Oh, have a lovely day OP.

KatyS36 Sat 12-Jan-13 14:36:36

Just an idea, but if you know what sort of dress you want how about putting a post on your local freecycle asking for one?

I'm suggesting this as I don't want to keep my dress, but I want it to go to a home where its loved, and if I heard of someone like you you could have it! (unfortunatly it is white!)

Definatly suggest going into bridal shops. I went into about eight to try things and they weren't pushy. They know if you are going to buy new you will want to shop around, and they won't know you aren't.

Good luck and enjoy.


A simply decorated cake like this would be lovely using the M&S cake. All you would need is some wide ribbon in your chosen colour. The big broochy thing you can get from eBay like here

ISeeSmallPeople Sat 12-Jan-13 19:45:00

Church wedding & church hall with guests bringing food would be lovely. Usually church hall hire is £30 max.
If you are into that, go all vintage. Make your own bunting ( pinking shears & stapler! ), have mismatched crockery either your own, from a charity shop or get guests to bring their own. Bring a dish & a bottle each. One teenage cousin can dj & will have his own decks smile

Ps. Can I come? I have my own pinking shears & am pretty handy with a stapler...as artistic as I get!

Mewsical Sat 12-Jan-13 20:04:44

Hiring a church hall is a minimum £150 around here.

I had a Monsoon dress and only relatives attend a registry office wedding, though looked around for a nice one. Then we went for drinks and then a to a really great restaurant for a long lunch.
No wedding cake, just desserts as I was too late to order an M&S one.

LaTrucha Sat 12-Jan-13 21:12:50

It's around £25-£30 for church hall hire here. A friend of ours did it and the wedding presents were the food. One couple bought trifle, one bought bread, one bought potato salad. Parents bought drink. It was great. I am never bloody making tortilla de patata for 70 again though grin

Taffeta Sat 12-Jan-13 21:17:54

My BF got married at 40 with 2 kids and wore a white trouser suit. Bootcur white trousers, white jacket, floppy hat. Kind of like this
She looked FAB.

curryeater Sat 12-Jan-13 21:23:00

Oh you are all so inspiring!
Taffeta, that floppy trousers and heels look is exactly what I had in mind - wider than bootcut, more dressy. I am not sure if this is a good look if you are 5'4" though, it is really really elegant on tall slim women.
I love that cake with the black ribbons.
I bet I could hit up my folks for some booze.

Taffeta Sat 12-Jan-13 21:29:44

My mate is a size 12 with cankles, 5 ft 6.

Taffeta Sat 12-Jan-13 21:31:05

And you too can be 5ft 6 with those heels! grin


I wore this.

Am very pale and a bit bigger than you.

Do you want a borrow?

curryeater Sat 12-Jan-13 22:31:49

Liza, that is so kind! I really like your dress, the simplicity is so elegant. I won't say yes as I don't have a date, so don't know when I could return it, and would prefer something I could alter if necessary. but thank you so much that is very very kind of you, I do luffs mn xxx

lalalonglegs Sat 12-Jan-13 22:41:40

Something vintage like this would look stunning with a larger bust and red hair (don't let the size put you off, you can have it altered and I suspect it is an "old" which comes up a lot smaller). A really simple posy with it, some pale shoes and red lippy.

Schooldidi Sat 12-Jan-13 22:53:43

I've just been invited to a wedding where they are getting married in the church, then the reception is in the church hall (across the car park) with a 'bring and share' buffet rather than food being provided. They don't need gifts because they have lived together for years but want to be married.

The invitations also specified a colour of dress if you fancy being a bridesmaid. I'm really looking forward to it, fancy weddings are not really my thing.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 12-Jan-13 23:21:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 12-Jan-13 23:29:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mcsquigg Sun 13-Jan-13 08:35:27

No help on the dress front (apart from trying your local charity shop- one near me has gorgeous wedding dresses for very little).

One of the loveliest weddings i've been at in recent years was in the brides church and her friends from church laid on a beautiful afternoon tea in the church hall with homemade scones and shortbread and flowers, confetti etc on the tables with. They were so happy to marry each other and it was a really beautiful, happy relaxed day.

Go for it!

Mayisout Sun 13-Jan-13 09:06:56

I would go out and try stuff on.
Have just been looking for a dress for a winter wedding and must have tried on 30, most look dire. Out of the 30 one was flattering but a day dress, one was flattering but black, too evening wear rather than wedding, and one (not in the sales needless to say) was flattering. I now need to find a shrug or jacket to match.

curryeater, I loved it, it's the best dress ever. The offer is there, bear it in mind if you decide you want a 'dress'

curryeater Sun 13-Jan-13 22:04:53

Thanks so much, Lizatarbucksauntie!

OK Schmalzting, I reluctantly agree about the trouser suit. That is what I was afraid of. I think those are lovely dresses but they might be a bit too much for me - I think again the lack of height and the stockiness is a problem - I think the beading and decoration is beautiful if you come out like a 20s gazelle but would be a bit lampshade on me. Maybe not - maybe the thing, as everyone is saying, is to try things on!

thanks again everyone for all the encouragement, really appreciate it

LaTrucha Sun 13-Jan-13 22:37:24

Liza - that is such a beautiful dress. It's a pretty lovely offer too.

ProphetOfDoom Mon 14-Jan-13 00:57:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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