Mumsnet Talk

Don't think there's any advice anyone can give me - what's done is done and I just have to wait (months ) for it to grow out. Need some sympathy and virtual hugs though .

My usual hairdresser recently left the country, and I decided to treat myself to a re-style in a posh, swanky salon. I know the stylist from years ago when the prices were cheaper and my finances were more robust.

I wanted my hair to look like this:

lovely

This was completely realistic given my hair type and the length I had. She discussed it with me, I showed her the picture and she both said the words 'just touching the shoulders' and indicated this to me with her hands. Great!! Get washed, come back and the first cut she makes at the back of my head takes it to a fraction below the nape of my neck. So what should have been just above shoulder length hair is pretty much chin length and I could cry!

Gets worse, because my hair, especially when shorter, is curly. So when I wash it it will curl up and look even shorter. I'm crap at blow-drying so I was going to GHD it into submission. Except I'm not that good at GHD-ing and need a decent length of hair to work with. I haven't tried it yet, but my fears are that my hair at the back is going to be too short for me to manage. Oh and it cost a sodding fortune.

I know that in the general scheme of things this is trivial, hair grows, blah blah blah. I'm reacting particularly badly to this because next month I am having my third operation to repair serious birth injuries. I know what's coming and that it's not going to be nice. I know I'm going to be in pain and feel like shit. So this haircut was a treat! I thought that even though I'll feel crap, etc, at least I could look in the mirror see a nice hair cut and feel just a little bit glamorous.

As I say, there's nothing to be done. Just got to wait. And wait. And wait. And not go back there again. .

Can I have a hug please?

Oh you poor thing! I hate hair disasters!

BUT why would you choose a style that obviousy needs so much up keep if you are useless at blow drying/styling? In that pic she has been blow dried with in an inch of her life!

BIG HUGS because not liking your hair is awful

Thanks for the hug . If I have a decent length of hair to work with, I am ok with GHD's. I know I was never going to look like the picture when left to my own devices (ha!). But with GHDs and products I could have done an acceptable job. Bugger.

More hugs and sympathy and !
Are you breastfeeding at the moment? If not, have a go with one of those Amazon Keratin Kits to help keep your hair a bit more manageable. You can still blow dry or roller volume into the hair but it will be smoother and silkier to start with.

Thanks - that's a good idea (not BF any more). And with my hair the length it now is, I'll get 3 applications out of the kit! At least all my dry ends have gone.... [tries to find an upside].....

Did you say anything to the hairdresser or were you concentrating on not crying? Chin length and shoulder length is the difference of about 3 inches!!

Someone cut 7 inches off mine once - was only meant to be a tidy up!

I think you should complain and get your money back, at least it would maybe make you feel a bit better if you hadn't paid for her to give you a completely different cut to the one you asked for!

I agree. DO NOT get talked into a restyle from the same salon <bitter experience>

Didn't say anything. As soon as she made that first cut at the back, there was no turning back. So I just didn't see the point. The haircut had to be finished and the maximum length it could be had just been set. So that was that. Maybe I should have said something. But I don't see how I was ever going to get my money back. And, yes I was pretty much concentrating on not crying! What with all the surgery and tension around that, I'm really not in the mood for confrontation. Never going back there.

7 inches, valium? Yikes .

I think you should email the manager at the very least - a good one will want you to walk away happy and not give bad recommendations to friends.

Hope your surgery goes ok x

poor you op, can totally empathise. I went into a well known chain of expensive (and shit imo) hairdressers many years back now with hair halfway down my back and halfway through explaining to the person who was going to cut it what I didn't want he pulled it into a ponytail and cut the whole thing off. He had obviously always wanted to do that but it wasn't what I wanted.

I was v v v upset but like you spent my time concentrating on not making a show of myself as I felt young and naive and abit out of my depth. I hated that hairstyle, took me literally years to get it sorted and back to something reasonable. Cost me £60 too which back in 1999 was a bloody ridiculous amount of money for a haircut I hated!! I wish I'd had the balls to complain back then.
The only consolation I can offer you is that after it had grown a little bit it looked lovely and I found a lovely local hairdresser who was much cheaper and did what I wanted, sadly there was no getting that long hair back

Thanks everyone . Will think about emailing the manager. I think the last thing I want is to get drawn into a whole conversation with them about it (really feeling wimpy and vulnerable!) and any offers of 'oh well, come in, and she'll sort it out for you' I'm not going to want to take up. But, I will think about it.

On penguin - that is dreadful!!

That is something you can say in your email if they offer to redo it "I have no confidence in your salon as you have already ignored what I wanted."

Poor you. Hugs .

I know it's no consolation (been there, done that) but it probably doesn't look half as bad as you think.

Hope the operation goes well.

hugs to you

was it much longer to start off with? I bet within a few weeks you will be much happier with it - even by time the op's over with. Hope that goes well and go and get yourself a box of chocs or other treat as soon as possible I say

Oh poor you, this is rubbish particularly when it sounds like you'd done it to make yourself feel good as a treat before your op.

If you complain you might find other people have also been unhappy with her work and it becomes an easier conversation to have than you would have expected.

I think you should go back and say after looking at it at home you're not happy. Don't let them restyle it but they could at least refund some of your money so you can spend it on a lovely treat for yourself.

Thanks guys . I shall definitely be having tonight once DD is in bed. Good point about the potential cumulative effect of complaints.

It does grow quite quickly (at least judging by the grey that starts showing far too soon after having my colour done!), so hopefully once I get another 1cm or so of length, that might be enough for it to start looking like a shorter version of what I wanted, rather than something completely random.

Thanks as well for the good wishes for my operation. X

Not liking your hair is so horrid, it makes you feel crappy.

Options are:

Go shorter! How about something like this? You would obvs have to straighten it a lot, but this is so cool! My current favourite style.

Blow dry with a big round brush, will give you a nod to the look you were aiming for this kind of thing. Hold the brush verticly and wave the dryer over each section as you work your way from front to back.

Dry the top half a bit less curly and then let your natural curl dominate the bottom, use some mousse like SJP.

These curls may be looser than yours, but jaw length can be flattering too.

If you have just got back, I would wash it and dry it yourself, maybe try the straighteners to see how that looks.

I am a trained stylist, if you live near me, I can come visit!

I had my 'trying to grow it' messy hair cut into a sloping bob, it was short and I hated it especially as mine is wavy and unless I GHD'ed it to within an inch of its life I looked ridiculous like someone had put a bowl over my head and chopped it off at chin length. I started taking Biotin tablets to help it grow and in what seems a very short time its grown, and / or I have got used to it and really like it now. Its growing in the same style too so I will eventually reach a below shoulder length which is what I was aiming for. I am sure it will 'grow' on (scuse the pun) and good luck with op. if you can't be bothered with the GHD's what about some cute scarves and headbands?

le chat where are you?

OP - do you know the difference between a good haircut and a bad one?
About two weeks.

Don't panic. Give it a couple of weeks, and it'll most likely be lovely. xxx

Definitely definitely email them, and without going into too much detail about the op you are facing, explain in it why you concentrated on holding yourself together so not saying anything and getting out of there. Give the link to the pic, discussion with stylist, take pic of your hair etc. You deserve your money back.
To cope with the type of hair you have at a much shorter length than anticipated, I can really really recommend Redken products. Can't do links at the mo cos am on phone, but there is a hair oil (3 types of it depending on your hair) which you can use before styling and it is fabulous stuff. My hair is the opposite of your and I thought it would leave my hair lank and horrid, but no, it becomes wondrous and swishy, and my blow drying skills are rubbish. I use it to keep my hair in good condition, because is can get v dry and crispy v quickly. Then you will need another styling product from the range suitable for your type of hair. I invested in a few, yes they're not cheap, but I have my 'hair sanity back' .

LeChat - those are some great ideas - and that's pretty much the length I am now. Thank you! I'm in North London .
Vesta - will have a serious think about emailing. And thank you for the Redken recommendation. I have been using Frizz Ease shampoo and conditioner and Moroccan Oil. Products can make all the difference and I will have a look at Redken.
StepAway and pictish - thank you for the sympathy, encouragement and tips . I have been experimenting today with slides and clips and feeling slightly better about things.

Everyone's so lovely! Thank you! X

vesta, can you remember what the hair oil is called?

Aw, same happened to me 9 weeks post-partum with DD, so I know exactly how you feel. Strangely, yesterday I went to a different salon than usual 10 weeks after DS was born, to have my highlights done, but they've come out chunky and brassy ('too much caramel' said the stylist). He offered for me to come in and have it put right even before drying it, but he's the salon owner and I don't want him to touch it.

Hope your op goes well, and remember, even though it's easy to say, it will grow back.

'chunky and brassy' - oh dear.

Been there! As someone already said, it probably looks better than you think (not excusing the hairdresser, though!) While it grows, you may feel better if you Google images of women looking great with chin-length bobs - Keira Knightly and Drew Barrymore, for example? And TBH I don't like Eva Longoria's hair in that pic; your bob sounds much funkier.

Well, when it happened to me I found that salt spray was my friend. Gave it a nice messy look; I actually grew to quite like it. And hey, thought of another bob inspiration: Gemma Arteton. She ain't mumsy looking.

I guess it would; it just gives a slightly "undone" look, and makes hair seem a lot fuller. Mine's slighy wavy and it worked on me. Superdrug do an own-brand version for about £2, so you could give it a try.

I had a v bad cut in 2010, 3 days before I went on holiday.

I looked like Brian may

I must a agree that I don't like the style in your link. Very frumpy and ageing - even on Eva Longoria. Yours does sound better.

piratecat, just checked and the redken oil I have is their Argan 6 oil, there aren't 3 different types, just this. I got myself a bit confused because I also have a kerastase hair elixir (mine is the one with moringa in it). That's the only kerastase product and it's brill for my hair (as is the argan oil). I use both but on different days (the kerastase stuff was a birthday present from a friend who uses it). They both make my hair lovely and swishy ! It would be hard for me to choose between them. With the argan oil, a little goes a long way with my kind of hair. They are expensive products but the poor state of my hair wasn't being helped by cheaper stuff I could get away with in the past.

thanks vesta for getting back to me and explaining the one's you use.x