What to wear for my 40th?

(64 Posts)
Oblomov Fri 28-Dec-12 14:04:14

I normally wear dresses. I feel lovely, if I get the right one. But I need to find a stunner of a dress, this time.
But i have put on quite a bit of weight in the last 2 years, and I have the worst cankles ever, and now I'm just not sure I can carry it off.
I have until the end of Jan to find something.
I am only 5'2'', size 14. I saw some lovely dresses in Hobbs in the sale a few days ago. They were a-line, which does suit me, becasue I have huge boobs, small wait, but very big thighs, and bottom. But the dresses were quite boring. And I need a 'wow' dress.
What do I do, other than lose a stone? wink

Mosman Sat 29-Dec-12 00:26:46

I would get the plain dress and buy killer heels, have a new hair cut, great earrings and a manicure. Plain can look very classy and especially when you hit a certain age can be very wow as it a) suits you and b) you don't look muttony

NicknameHistory Sat 29-Dec-12 00:28:14

good point mos... and if you seriously hate canklesthen get gorgeous shoeboots wink

Meggles76 Sat 29-Dec-12 00:34:33

Mos is right. Get a plain dress, a great hair cut and blow dry, some fab statement earrings and killer heels.
I wore a very simply black lace dress to a Christmas do. Teamed it with some unusual gold hoop earrings, layered some gold and silver bracelets and wore a great pair of gold heels. The dress was essentially nothing special but I felt great.
Enjoy your birthday!

Ive recently purchased the Hybrid Key Hole dress from asos (same height and size as you). Freaking amazing on. I bought primarni spanks to go under it and some killer heels. Will try and do a link (bloody phones!)

Mosman Sat 29-Dec-12 00:46:49

That is gorgeous I want it in both colours [greedy me ha ha]

Oblomov Sat 29-Dec-12 08:49:31

Thank you all.
Went out last night to my friends 40th, felt fab, wore a teal dress and black killer heels.
Mos (and Meggles) are right. I have already started with all those things. I have just had a fab haircut, I am having a big blonde stripe put in it next week, I have the fab earings and the black killer patent heels already. I will get a mnaicure and will have it blow dryed on the night. I am just not sure what to wear with it.
I have a green, blue, stripey dress, that everytime I wear I get loads of comments, but it is very summery and I have worn it to ds2's christening and quite a few other things over the years. So that is not the one for now.

Goldplated, I REALLY like your dresas. I think it could look really good on me. I think I may order both and see what they look like. I do have time.
I am not sure that the red or blue would look right on me. BUT, when I had my 'colour me beautiful' colours done, she said I was soft and muted. So I am supposed to buy soft muted colours - sage, etc, but my natural instinct, when I want a fab dress, it to go for sparkly wow, but this could be the mistake, when really I should remember the 'rules'.

I don't normally put photos on MN. But just to show you the green christening dress,and please remember I have put on weight since this photo, I will add the photo to my page, for a short time.

Maybe you could advise once you have seen my colouring and shape.

Please does anyone else have any other suggestions, for dresses that I could order. To try. Thank you.

Oblomov Sat 29-Dec-12 10:31:55

Goldplated, the size 14 and 16, (it does say it is small and to order the size up) are not available. sad

Ooh nooo sad Im a 14 hips 10/12 bust and I went for the 14. Could have got a 12.

Oblomov Sat 29-Dec-12 14:04:47

So the hunt continues. what shall I do now? Do you have any other suggestions for any other dresses, please?

MsArsebiscuit Sat 29-Dec-12 17:40:07

This is my new favourite dress site, I've bought three dresses over the past couple of months including the green version of this one for my work Christmas party and it was much admired Vintage glam.

Oblomov Sun 30-Dec-12 08:35:50

MsArse wink (love name) I ADORE your link. The dress in the plum. They have it in jade green aswell. I may order both.
I looked at the hourglass section, but they were a bit too clingy and I have such enormous thighs , that I really need a material that skims thighs, atleast a little bit, like the link you showed, rather than the classic totally hugging hourglass dresses.
What dresses did you order?
Do you have any other suggestions for ones I should look at. I only ask, because I really like your style. And think it could suit me PERFECTLY.

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 10:04:34

I'm glad you like it, the downsides with ordering from there is that you have to pay a (relatively) hefty p&p charge and then you pay an import charge a couple of weeks later, they do arrive within three days though and I've not found any uk stockists so far.

The dresses I have are,the Ava in jade, love it but as the reviews say, the top half is slightly small, I'm a 34ff and I bought the L, it fastens up but is VERY Up Pompeii.

This bad boy easier to wear than the Ava as less structured, also less cleavage-y

And this one Corrrr which I can't tell you anything about yet as I haven't got my sticky little paws on it, it's supposed to have a shaping interior thing.

You might like the Stop Staring dresses ( I have a couple, including the Billion Dollar Baby ) and Vivien of Holloway. Foxy
And a quick thank you to the MN Style & Beauty posters because I heard of all these sites and clothing makes on here.

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 10:28:34

Downsides 'are' Tskkk.

Oblomov Sun 30-Dec-12 16:42:20

Thanks for all your help MsArse, but the Ava dress in plum and also sage and not available. I have set up an e-mail request, but at the moment, I am unable to seem to find any dress which has availability sad

The Deadly dames and Monica (your 2nd and 3rd links) are just too clingy for me. Even the 'stop staring dresses', are lovely (am dead jealous of your figure!!), but I need just a bit of skimming over the hips - I need a material that hangs rather than clings over the thighs and hips, having fitted me very tightly over the bust and waist.

Am starting to feel like I am appearing impossible to please here.
But am a bit gutted that I have found 3 dresses I really like, but can't get the size.

OhCobblers Sun 30-Dec-12 17:11:32

That Hybrid dress is gorgeous. I have my 40th not too far away and might give it a whirl! Op hope you find something. Thought the Ava dress was lovely too.

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 17:42:58

Oblomov, I set up an alert for the Monica dress which was out of stock in my size, they got it back in pretty quickly, and like I say, deliver in 3 days.

If you can't find anything else you like and are ok with borrowing someone else's frock, you can borrow my Ava.

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 17:46:36

The Stop Staring dresses, by the way are made of some industrial strength stretchy stuff, which pulls you in and are very cleverly cut/ruched so they disguise one's less attractive bits. I think Northumberland Lass on here got one for her 40th.

Hey Oblomov, MrsArseBiscuit is right, I got the Billion Dollar Baby dress in red for my 40th! It really is made of the most incredible material! I'm 14/16 & 6ft tall - i'll try & put a pic on my profile in a bit.
As usual MrsA has put up some fab links...I lust after many of those frocks.

I went for a 'wow' dress, had hair put up quite 1950's, false eyelashes & Ruby Woo lips wink

Bugger - can't put photo on my profile from my phone.....

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 19:38:31

<waves at Northumberland, I bet you looked fabulous, how wonderful to be tall !>
Oblomov, if you google each of those dresses you will see them being worn by women with very much 'non-model' figures, they're the type of dresses that look better on people who aren't stick thin, honest, have a look.

<waves back>
Being tall has it's moments. I wore leopard pointy flats with the dress & it worked I think!

I've got a pic at work which i'll put on my profile on Wed when i'm at work.

Completely agree though, these dresses are made for curves! The 'Billion Dollar' dress is also cut beautifully and is one of the most flattering i've ever worn. Bought mine from Deadly is the Female & their service was excellent.

Pleased your 'Ava' dress was admired MrsArseBiscuit...its a stunner. I'm looking for an excuse to buy it!!!!

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 20:03:12

I'd definitely recommend the Ava, it got loads of compliments but I felt rather self-conscious about my outrageous cleavage so probably shouldn't have worn it in front of colleagues, Northumberland.

I'm a shortarse so have always wanted to be leggy.

Ah love it! Always good to cause a stir at a work 'do' - bet you looked awesome. It's a classy dress, so Classy Norks!

My legs are long, 1metre from hip to ankle, but it also causes problems finding trousers/jeans (see numerous other threads grin)

MsArsebiscuit Sun 30-Dec-12 20:43:54

Not so much classy as 'in your face' and much commented upon.

I have the legs of a sturdy northern pit pony...

Oblomov Mon 31-Dec-12 17:07:06

MsArse, what a very kind offer. I might have to take you up on that!! I really hope that I won't have to, but I might need to, if I can't find another dress. I will keep on looking though. And I will see if they e-mail me.
But as Northlass has advised I am going to go back and have a look at some of the other dresses. I normaly fear too clingy, but I will re-view again.

"legs of a sturdy northern pit pony" grin lol. that is me too. although not northern, I think I have legs like a southern elephant !!

What's your budget? I would recommend trying on a couple of Westwood Anglomania dresses. They look like nothing on the hanger but do amazing things to norks, bums and waists. smile

Oblomov Mon 31-Dec-12 17:41:09

It is the Ava in Plum, that I REALLY like.
I am a bit worried by their measurements/proportions. The dress proportions don't seem to suit me, they seem to be very slim on the hips.
I was looking at the large, but because I have huge hips, to fit them, I may need to order the xl, but then that could be too big on the bust and waist. This would not be uncommon, because I do often have this problem.
I want it to clinch me in on the bust and waist, but with lots of material on the hips, to skim and flatter. I am worried that it won't do that.
Did you see the reviews? One lady is very slim. Doesn't clinch her in, like I want it to do to me, like it does on the model in the picture. And the other lady reviewee ordered the large and is 34DD, 29, 29. Oh dear. If the large fits her, its not going to fit me, is it?

Remember that I am only tiny: 5'2'', but have :
32E (total bust measurement, round fullest bust is 39 inch), waist 32, but hips 42.

Am all of a dither. As you probably gather blush

Oblomov Mon 31-Dec-12 17:57:29

Remus, thanks for the link. x-posted with you.I may be able to go to £150 at a push. I was hoping for under £100, but I am starting to get a bit worried about he lack of availaiblity on dresses. Even on that dress Remus, the size chart says a size 14 is a Large, which is not stocked.

This is getting ridiculously hard, don't you think?

I'm a 12 / 32E and perhaps 34 or 36 hips. A medium is fine/slightly loose on me. Might be worth a go?

Hey - have just got to work and uploaded a couple of pics from my 40th & billion dollar stop staring dress.

MsArsebiscuit Wed 02-Jan-13 10:18:20

Northumberland, just looked at your photos, you look fantastic !

Oblomov, when's your 40th ? I covet an Anglomania dress and will be asking for advice on here when I finally take the plunge.

smile Thanks MrsA !
I do love the dress & it really smoothes out the old lumps & bumps. Worth every penny!!

I've looked at Anglomania dresses too...i have a list of coveted dresses!!

Great dress!

I got my Anglomania for £100 in the Selfridges sale a few years ago and it's one of the best £100 I've ever spent.

MsArsebiscuit Wed 02-Jan-13 13:11:09

Northumberland, I love my Billion Dollar Baby too, it's one of the best things I've ever bought.

Remus, I keep looking at the Anglomania dresses but can't shake the suspicion that I should try them on before I buy so I'm trying to build up my courage to go into the VW shop.

ClaudiaWinklepants Wed 02-Jan-13 13:30:43

What about the Pretty Little Dress Company



tethersjinglebellend Wed 02-Jan-13 13:35:56
ClaudiaWinklepants Wed 02-Jan-13 13:37:34

Sorry, meant to suggest Embassy corset dress or the wiggle dresses from the PLDC. Can't get the link to stay but if you don't mind cut & pasting its worth a look grin

Chewbecca Wed 02-Jan-13 13:39:56

I wore this to my 40th recently and felt fab. There's a variety of colours available and it's reduced to £90 too. I'm 5ft nothing and size 16 so I think it's a pretty special dress to make me feel fab!
Btw, your legs look great in your christening dress, really nothing to worry about there.

tethersjinglebellend Wed 02-Jan-13 13:47:34
tethersjinglebellend Wed 02-Jan-13 13:57:28

Oooo Chewy, LOVE that dress....<adds another to my list>

Oblomov Thu 03-Jan-13 11:58:51

Northumberland, You look AMAZING ! smile

Claudia. Thank you for the link. But I think maybe the Wiggle dresses are too clingy. I thought maybe a Hourglass Swing swing might suit me better.

Tethers - thanks for your links too. The first two, and the fourth are too clingy.
You all keep wanting to get me into clingy dresses. Do you think I am foolish to re-sist your efforts wink
I am scared by the clingy dresses, but honestly don't think they suit me. Do you think I am being stubborn and this really is where I am going wrong?
Thethers -the third - black and white, and the fifth, I thought was not glam enough. I also think it doesn't show enough chest, which I think is one of my best assets to show my curves. Thats why I normally go for a v at the front, to show some clevage.

The Green over budget, I truely LOVED. I thought it was beautiful. This is a possibility. I will talk to dh about the cost of it!!

The cheap lace one, I did not like.

Your last link, did not link to a specfic dress.

The asos dress that Goldplated linked to, at the start of the thread arrived last night. I wanted the oxblood colour, but they did not have, but a navy did arrive.
I am feeling very very fat and unattractive at the moment? sad
I have never been this big. Even my diabetic consultant commented on it,last week, saying we need to get my weight down. I seem to have no will power.Plus, losing weight is hard, I can't just cut down on food, without havign to work really hard at reducing my insulin and tryin got stop me from plummeting down so low that I have a hypo. Is a tricky balancing act anyway, on a daily basis, without trying to cut down on food aswell. I did try last year, for 2 months, cut out all wine, chocolate and crisps, keep going low so having to consume lucozade, thus presumably undoing all my hard work, and despite my efforts, lost not 1lb in 2 miserable mths. Anyway, I have started today and am going to try hard for the next 2 mths.

I tried on the dress. Dh, who is fab as choosing my clothes, and is very sympathetic, said it was " not flattering on the derrier, I'm afraid, my lovely"

I have put photos on my page.

Talking about diabetic,and I am really sorry to drip feed, but I wear a pump, so often buy dresses that have a tie at the back, so I can clip my pump, pump which has a metre of tubing, out from from tummy, up and under my bra, and out the back to clip onto the ties at the back of the dress. This always means that dresses never quite fit properly, but it is the way it has to be. If there are no ties, I clip my pump to my bra, under my arm, most uncomfortable!

I have also pm'd MsArse, after her very kind offer, to ask to borrow her Ava dress. She has the jade in a L, so am hoping that will fit me. I really like the jade alot. But would prefer the plum. But atleast I can try her's on, and maybe wera the jade. And also trying hers for size, will tell me if the L fits. and then I will know whetehr to keep trying to get hold on the L in plum, or to try and get the XL in the plum.

What do you all think.
Give it to me, hard and straight.

Ah thanks Oblomov smile

Have you looked at Deadly is the Female site ? It's where I got my stop staring dress...
what about this one ?

Alika Dress

Emma Dress

I am determined to help you find something !!

I am sorry you are feeling so down, it sounds like you have a lot to deal with. Do you see a dietician aswell as GP for your diabetes ?

Oblomov Thu 03-Jan-13 12:25:51

I don't see my Gp for my diabetes. I see the Consultant. She is the top consultant in the country and she admitted last week, that after all her efforts and mine, for the last 8 years, so almost knows not what to do with me!! Great.
I do e-mail the pump specialist nurse, atleast onece a month - she works for the consultant.

Thanks. IAm I your mission ? wink I appreciate your support. I am sure we will get me sorted. Eventually.
I have never been known to be that 'easy' in anythng I do !! wink

I will look at your links Northumberland.

By the way, for my 40th an appointment has been booked for me, to go to Debenhams and also to John Lewis for one of thiei fashion consultations. free. But was booked for me. I thought that was a really nice thought.

sad Ok - so the aim is to make you look fabulous & find an awesome dress.

I haven't had any experience of John Lewis or Debenham's fashion consultants. I had a personal shopper at Debenhams once and it was ok..... but I did it in a blind panic when I didn't have anything to wear....

I usually know what I want to look like.....I just find it problematic to get there smile

Have you seen the Get Cutie dress? It is made to order, you can have a look at the sizing chart and choose a fabric. They have a gallery on the website so you can get more of an idea of what the dress is like. I think they might have a shop too.

MrsArse - Liberty and Selfridges stock VW too, if those seem less scary than the VW shop. smile

MsArsebiscuit Thu 03-Jan-13 16:44:36

Thank you Remus, I'm thinking about going to the VW shop in Manchester as, even if they are dead posh and intimidating, I'm on home turf so will feel better able to stand up for myself !

Chewbecca Thu 03-Jan-13 17:12:53

I do think since your DH said that you'll never feel entirely comfortable in that dress, especially since he can be trusted and is kind.
Don't want to be a bore but did you look at the pied a terre dress in HOF I linked to unthread? Seeing you in the black dress makes me even more convinced that it'd look fab on you and flatter. Try it! It's even cheaper now too, you can always send it back.

Sparklegeek Thu 03-Jan-13 17:13:04

Gah, I sooooooo want that Pied a Terre dress in midnight for my cousin's wedding this year but that colour is still £180! Don't suppose it's likely to go into the sale now though? sad

Chewbecca Thu 03-Jan-13 17:39:21

Says £54 for midnight ? (not the long sleeved version?)

Sparklegeek Thu 03-Jan-13 17:44:37

Chewbecca £54, where, WHERE???? What am I doing wrong?! I click on your link on the last page & the only £54 is the hot pink? If you can link me to the midnight at that price I'll love you forever grin

Chewbecca Thu 03-Jan-13 17:51:54

Oh no, I am so sorry, you are right. When I clicked on midnight the price didn't change but on clicking on a size it goes back up again. Oh dear. Maybe coz it is still winter, perhaps it'll get reduced as we head towards spring.

Sparklegeek Thu 03-Jan-13 17:54:40

I shall have to play a waiting game then as the wedding isn't until July. It is the sort of colour that may get reduced as it gets warmer so fingers crossed!

Oblomov Tue 29-Jan-13 09:28:05

Just to let you know that MsArsebiscuit was so very kind as to send me her dress. Which was lovely. But, becasue the material was very shiney, it semed to clingy in the wrong places.
So, I ordered the green Swing dress from the Pretty Dress company, green that ClaudiaWinklepants suggested. Thanks Claudia.

I actually ordered it in the Green and also the black. Dh told me that they were so lovely I was to keep both. smile He suggested I wore the green, kept the balck, for other occassions. "I'm going to make sure you have plenty of opportunity to wear them", he said. Bless him. He then booked us a 3 day break to Barcelona, in April, with my sil looking after the kids. This is my 40th present and what I REALLY wanted. "Now your'll get the chance to wear the black one", he said.
The boy done good smile

So, finally to my 40th. I wear the green. I now realise that my bra was showing a bit too much, so will have to get them both adjusted, this week. (It did not show when I tried it on. Typical. But not to worry. But I did feel fab. And I had the best night. TOTALLY FABULOUS.

So, I just wanted to thank you all. For all the support. I know I was very difficult to 'fit'. wink But we got there in the end. So thanks very much.

I've put up a photo of me in the green dress, on my 40th, on my profile. I scrub up well. smile


Just wanted to say that the Hybrid dress that GoldPlated linked to is half price on their website now.

I know as she recommended in on a thread I started last week & it arrived yesterday grin

You look fab in the green though - very glow-y smile

Happy birthday

I love the jade dress, think it is a stunner, well done Oblomov and to your dh! Happy 40th when it comes.

Oops just read your post properly! Glad your birthday went well, our 40th birthdays are v close together, but I didn't celebrate in style like you did.

Oblomov Tue 29-Jan-13 13:21:50

Thank you both.
Tap, my 40th was actually on saturday, the night i went out for the meal. Its just the Barcelona bit that comes in April - seemed sensible to wait till the spring and really enjoy our long weekend.

Oblomov Tue 29-Jan-13 13:28:08

I have been to 3 other 40th's in the last 2 months. Has been fab.
One a boat party up to london, I danced and danced. Another a local meal. Was lovely. One in London, at the Barbican. And mine was a fab cheesy Greek, plate smashing place, that Chris Evans likes !!!!!
So I have been having a good time wink
Tap, I'm sure you had a good time. It doesn't need to be on a grand scale.

Sounds fab, I was ill, had an upset tummy too, at the end of a flu bug, could hardly bring myself to eat, think it is the only alcohol free birthday I've had since, well a long time ago, it was on a fairly miserable Monday too! Hoping to make up for it in the summer, planning a party/gathering.

I really do like that dress, how was the length on you? I am a bit shorter than you are!

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