anyone fancy going grey next year?

(431 Posts)

so, i've been toying with this idea for ages (am nearly forty) but always end up dying it. i thnk i'm going to go for it - anyone want a support thread for intermittent updates?

wigglybeezer Thu 20-Dec-12 18:58:02

I'm already doing it, go for it!

I'm thinking of going for it too. I'm 45 next month and have a grey stripe in my fringe and many many scattered ones. I've been ill for 7 weeks and not had it coloured and am thinking 'sod it!'

are you - tell me how? am definitely not going to do highlights.

join me medusa! revolt against the hairdye! (although i will still be wearing make up)

knittedslippersx3 Thu 20-Dec-12 19:10:46

Oooh me, I think! If I can stand the inbetweeny stage. Am fairly grey underneath with dye fading/growing out on top. How dowe cope with the half and half stage?

I don't know - maybe it'll be like weightwatchers and we can post about wanting to dye and talk each other out of it? i'm kind of excited about it!

knittedslippersx3 Thu 20-Dec-12 19:17:03

My grey is a real dull greasy grey sad I want to be a nice silvery white grey!

3littlefrogs Thu 20-Dec-12 19:21:03

I am using a lighter colour now, then when I retire I am just not going to bother any more. (I think, unless vanity gets the better of me).

knitted - can you try silver shampoos? my plan is to go grey and then use some kind of wash (i'm not sure if this actually exists, in my head know what i mean)

FirstPersonPlural Thu 20-Dec-12 19:24:47

I've done it - and a wee 38 at that! wink Started going grey when I was still a teenager. 'Tis very liberating to have kicked the hair dye habit and I get loads of compliments. Probably because the natural colour suits my skin tone.

How did I do it? Let the roots go for a few miserable months and then chopped it off super short in a pixie cut.

One word of advice - grey hair tends to look much better and less frumpy when worn in a stylish cut, regardless of what length it is. Really makes a huge difference.

Go for it!

FirstPersonPlural Thu 20-Dec-12 19:27:17

Yes, yes OP. The purple shampoo makes a big difference as it 'brightens' your grey.

yes, that's my plan - look dreadful til my summer birthday, then have a lovely cut.

Hetaera Thu 20-Dec-12 19:30:30

I grew out my dye for just under two months to see where the grey was and then my hairdresser gave me a half head of some fine, ash-y highlights. She said this would help me keep my length whilst growing in the grey... hmm Armed with a silvery shampoo I am dertermined!

FirstPersonPlural Thu 20-Dec-12 19:38:13

The important thing to remember re. shampoo is that it should actually be purple, as that's the only colour pigment that will combat yellow brassiness.

Not, don't go too long without a haircut while you're growing out your grey - you still want to feel confident and attractive!

Bonsoir Thu 20-Dec-12 19:40:47

Yes, you need a great haircut (not too long) and use lots of conditioner when you wash it - old grey hair doesn't shine as much as young hair!

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Dec-12 19:41:21

I've been trying to do it for the last year. I get to about two months and I look so bloody foul that I cave in and coluor it again. sad If I could wake up and be grey overnight I'd do it, but I am dark haired, and white badger roots are not a great look. shock Plus my hair is quite long, so the thought of growing out the color seems eeeeeeeendless. confused

scurryfunge Thu 20-Dec-12 19:41:34

I stopped using dye over a year ago ( I have very dark brown hair and I am very silver with a predominant Stripe at the front too). I got bored today and have dyed it again but am already wondering why I bothered. A good haircut would have sufficed.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Dec-12 19:42:48

I have been toying with the half head of ash/soft caramel mixed highlights to help me on my way, but my base colour is still bit too dark ATM. I am trying to lighten it gradually but it doesn't seem to be happening.

RachelWalsh Thu 20-Dec-12 19:48:11

I spend a fortune getting my (dark blonde not greying) hair bleached and then having tonerut in to make it grey. I use loreal silver shampoo to keep it like that - got a 1500ml bottle off amazon for 15 quid...

NedZeppelin Thu 20-Dec-12 19:49:02

I've had mine grey for over a year. It looks shit, I look old and washed outhmm. I am just about to dye it again. I wanted to look like Deborah Landis (John Landis' wife). Google her, she has stunning hair...

scurryfunge Thu 20-Dec-12 19:52:26

When you talk about purple shampoo, do you mean any shampoo that is purple? Or is it code for some mystery product?

CMOTDibbler Thu 20-Dec-12 19:52:52

I did it this year - stripped the dye 3 times with colourb4, then bleached the section at the front where I am pure white, and then stuck it out. I had fairly long hair, so by wearing it twisted up, you saw the white streak, and not so much of the dye line. I love it now, and get lots of compliments even though I don't have a chic, sharp cut

NedZeppelin Thu 20-Dec-12 20:13:37

Ah...famous last words from me. I have just done a patch test, for the first time ever, and it has flared up red burning and itchy, so will just have to remain washed out grey forever more.

cocolepew Thu 20-Dec-12 20:19:08

I was off work eith ill health for a year andgrew my hair while I was off. I really regret not trying grow my colour out. I don't know if I could bear it now.

anniepanniepears Thu 20-Dec-12 20:20:23

I done that this year and I get loads of compliments btw Iam 54

soupmaker Thu 20-Dec-12 20:25:08

I love my grey hair. I went grey in my 30s. I've never dyed it as for years I had it cut in a French crop. I then decided to grow it and now have a curly grey graduated bob. I get loads of folk asking how I manage to get such amazing colour in my hair! The best advice I got was to use conditioner regularly and get a hair cut every six-eight to weeks.

yuleheart Thu 20-Dec-12 20:34:29

I was talking to DH about this the other day.

I have quite long dark brown hair and dyes are just not covering the grey anymore.

I would love to be silvery grey but don't want to cut it short, think I might have to go lighter brown, then even lighter brown then grey.

I too would love to wake up tomorrow with gorgeous grey hair.

bonzo77 Thu 20-Dec-12 20:47:46

No fear! I tried it for 4 months last year. Did all the right things: went lighter first, short chic cut, purple shampoo. I looked washed out and old and shite. I was 34 looking 54. DH hated it but was too polite to say anything at the time. Today I am pillar box red.

That may happen! I suspect I may hate it more than I hate dying it. I'm going to go cold turkey, and will post a non identifying photo asap (ie after xmas)

KnittingChristmas Thu 20-Dec-12 21:15:37

An interesting thread. I am 40 and have been dying my hair for 20 years - last time I went to the hairdressers asked to go back to my original colour, knowing I would have a lot of grey, and the hairdresser had to break it to me that I was entirely grey sad.

I am not slim and couldn't get away with a chic hair cut and I fear that being completely grey would age me very badly but I would love to stop dying it sad.

Hmm . . . .

twentythirteen Thu 20-Dec-12 21:17:29

I last coloured my hair September 2011. I have long hair so it took a while. I did have to change shampoo and conditioner, and it was hard the first several months when it was in the in between stage and looked straggly colourwise. Really had to grit my teeth. But am so pleased now, it's healthy and cheaper, interesting and hairdressers praise me! (I'm only 40!)

Loveleopardprint Thu 20-Dec-12 21:53:25

I have been grey for about 4 years. I am 42. Always on here saying how much I like my grey. Just a word of warning re purple shampoo. Don't use it every day as it starts to look like you have had a purple rinse!!

wigglybeezer Thu 20-Dec-12 22:56:59

I went for the pixie cut. to be honest I am not very grey so didn't have very noticeable roots anyway as I just had crown and parting lowlights. I wanted a chic style to make it easier to go grey in the future. treated myself to really stylish new glasses frames too. I haven't persuaded my greyer friends to follow suit yet although one is wavering.

niminypiminy Thu 20-Dec-12 23:32:13

I've been grey for about five years now and never - or hardly ever - looked back. At one stage I tried having ash highlights in my grey hair, and that looked ok, but not so very much different from my silvery streaks on dark, now anthracite hair. I spend money on getting my hair cut - now in a crop inspired by stunning pictures of grey-haired Jamie Lee Curtis - and aim to get it done every four-five weeks.

Funnily enough I had a dream last night in which I dyed my hair purely-brown (the last dye colour I used), and then was filled with panic and regret about having got rid of my lovely grey hair.

niminypiminy Thu 20-Dec-12 23:33:16

Not purely brown - bloody auto-correct- purply-brown!

3b1g Thu 20-Dec-12 23:38:16

I last hennaed my hair in June and am now making a positive decision to grow the grey out, so it'll be good to have some company! I have about three inches growth of scattered grey in my shoulder-length hair plus a grey/white streak at the front.

I will be forty in a couple of weeks and now have enough grey that this is my last chance to grow it out without it looking really bizarre in the interim.

DD (8) asked me a couple of weeks ago: "Have you decided to let the silver bits grow because you remembered how nice they look?" which has helped me keep going.

Chippychop Thu 20-Dec-12 23:41:09

Love the thought of having classy silver hair. Quite cowardly about doing it. I used to have a silver 'Mallon" streak am now v grey underneath the hair dye. Good luck you have my admiration!

drownangels Thu 20-Dec-12 23:45:13

Not a chance if I can help it!!!

Isabeller Thu 20-Dec-12 23:50:05

I've got some grey but still mostly dark, have never dyed so here to support but I am not all that glam.

My very very glam friend however used to self dye and it started looking less great then got professional dyes which were brilliant for a good while then, in late 40s I think, decided to go grey and WOW!! Looked and looks amazing, very glam cut and she is always beautiful anyway. Still WOW 10 years later. Go for it!

TheFarSide Thu 20-Dec-12 23:55:48

I am 50 and would love to get away from the tyranny of touching up my grey roots but my hairdresser says grey wouldn't suit my colouring! sad My original colour was auburn/brown and my skin is pale and sallow and aged .

FellatioNelson Fri 21-Dec-12 04:51:59

I think I will put this off until i am 50 too. 3 and a bit years to go then. Phew! grin Although I agree about the tyranny, and the bloody COST!

My fear is that, the same as TFS, after the purgatory of looking absolutely shite for 18 months it turns out that it really doesn't suit me anyway, and I just look worse, and older. sad

cafecito Fri 21-Dec-12 05:10:39

I found my first grey hair at 21... then I went throuh a very stressful time when I was 23.. and they just proliferated rapidly. I now, at 26, have to dye my hair every 2 months or I look awful (naturally very dark hair, but my grey hairs are bright white!) I'd love to look like Carmen Dell'Orefice when I'm old enough to get away with it..

Aquelven Fri 21-Dec-12 12:36:24

I did it years ago, started going grey in my teens, after dying it all through my twenties. Best thing I ever did. grin
I suppose I'm lucky that it is that bright, white/silver, in fact it's the same colour & style as the link cafecito gave to Carmen Dell'Orefice, though I'm no where near her age yet!
It suits my skin colour so much better than the dye job ever did & I get loads of compliments on it.

yes, I'm quite excited about it: although am also extremely fickle and may decide to dye it red again. At the moment I have wings and threads, going to stick it out anyway.

twentythirteen Fri 21-Dec-12 14:30:39

Just googled "athracite" - lovely word, lovely colour!

I'm still mostly dark too, but the grey is clearly in there, with some streaks around the face which I particularly like. I'm auburn brown (more brown than auburn), Thefarside, with brown freckles and pale skin. Do you know what sort of grey you'd be naturally? I'd always worried about what sort of grey I'd have. Some are a faded yellowish colour, I'm not thankfully, I'm white, I wish I was silver! I have thought about getting some highlights put in but am very happy being natural after ... 20 years off and on so will wait a bit longer.

MamaWomanAha Fri 21-Dec-12 14:31:05

My mum went totally grey in her 30s. She got fed up of dying it so wore a wig for a few months whilst it all grew out. Apart from the fact it was the heatwave of '76 it was very successful grin

She does have the most beautiful white hair though and looked much, much younger when she had it cut very short.

drownangels Fri 21-Dec-12 15:55:18

But Cafecito even Carmen Dell'Orefice doesn't look like that picture of her. It's photoshopped to high heaven!!

doglover Fri 21-Dec-12 16:21:20

Please could someone link to a suitable 'purple shampoo' for me? Many thankssmile

JRsandCoffee Fri 21-Dec-12 16:38:32

Thank you for asking the shampoo question Doglover!

Would love to join the thread, last dyed mine in April and them didn't want to dye it while pregnant. Started out with long dark hair now have a mostly grey bob! Am being driven slightly mad by last bits of dye and dithering for the first time but reading this has made more determined!

CMOTDibbler Fri 21-Dec-12 16:47:08

I use Touch of Silver weekly treatment 2 or 3 weekly, and the Trevor Sorbie shampoo for platinum hair in between. The Lee Stafford Bleach blondes stuff is good too

TheFarSide Fri 21-Dec-12 16:55:52

twentythirteen my grey is quite silvery at the front but according to my hairdresser more salt & pepper at the back sad. I'm not sure the white/silver look would suit me because of my sallow skin.

<considers the wig idea>

twentythirteen Fri 21-Dec-12 17:03:55

Thefarside, you keep describing your skin as sallow... is that true or are you being harsh on yourself? A good cleanser and moisturiser, maybe a little foundation? Silver is beautiful, I've never seen a silver that didn't look amazing. Maybe you need a nicer hairdresser? It's normal to have the changes in hari colour you describe, but that's what makes going natural interesting and it's why hairdressers rarely agree to do block hair colour, because the variations are nice/interesting.

Maybe I'm sticking my nose in, just sounded a little harsh. I have a red nose and am prone to going red generally, nothing suits that! (I wear foundation!)

doglover Fri 21-Dec-12 17:06:25

Thanks for the link! May venture into Boots tomorrow!!

Aquelven Fri 21-Dec-12 17:41:52

The ranges for platinum blondes work really well at keeping it bright. Be careful of using too much of the purple shampoo/conditioner if your hair is very, very light. They can definitely be a touch of the blue rinse if you use them too often.

cafecito Fri 21-Dec-12 20:25:46

drown I know, it was just the first one on google I think - I like how she actually looks though she's amazing, and her actual hair colourcolour, properly white/silver/glimmering

probablyaslytherin Fri 21-Dec-12 21:50:09

I stopped colouring my hair four years ago. I had been colouring it for 20 years and just felt it could not be healthy putting strong chemicals on my scalp every 6 weeks. I grew it out while I was off work following an operation. It is great not having the tyranny of hair colouring to think about.
I use purple shampoo and also like Klorane shampoo for grey hair, available in every pharmacy in France and in John Lewis.
I have no intention of colouring it again - I love it. However, I've found I have to be careful with the colours I wear. Black washes me out and I need strong rich bluish colours - absolutely no warm colours at all. Also, I read somewhere that if you have light grey/white hair, in order to give definition to the face you need to have strong eyebrows. Now, some people have white hair and naturally black eyebrows. I am not one of them. So I use eyebrow pencil (which has its own challenges as I can't see too well without my reading specs!)
I feel sorry now for folk who feel they need to dye their hair. Many of them are fooling no-one and often it's too harsh for them. Smacks of lack of confidence. (Sing after me "I yam what I yam.... I yam my own speshul creation...etc")

wigglybeezer Sat 22-Dec-12 16:05:09

Forgot to mention that my hairdresser has gone grey and stopped straightening her curly hair (she is still beautifully groomed though).

TheFarSide Sat 22-Dec-12 16:30:23

OK <deep breath>, inspired by this thread, my New Year resolution is to go grey.

Like the OP, I've been considering it for ages, but this very afternoon I've just spent hours and £££ in the bathroom putting in some highlights (£6.99), noticing a stripey bit, opening up another packet of highlights to correct the stripey bit (£6.99), thinking it then looked a bit too highlighted so putting a light brown semi-permanent over the whole lot (£5.99). sad

I wouldn't be surprised if all my hair fell out overnight.

TheFarSide Sat 22-Dec-12 17:39:32

I have posted my 'Before' pic on my profile - check out the monotone orangey hair. It is a bit lighter than that now as I'm currently using Dark Blonde semi-permanent. Could be some time before I get round to the 'After'.

KnittingChristmas Sat 22-Dec-12 18:12:54

Your profile isn't public!

TheFarSide Sat 22-Dec-12 18:26:08

Is it working now?

doglover Sat 22-Dec-12 18:51:50

Yes, it's workingsmile

hattymattie Sat 22-Dec-12 19:03:50

I tried this year, having not seen my true hair colour for years. My grey looked like bad highlights - so I've recoloured it and I'm going to wait until I'm 55 (I'm 48). smile

KnittingChristmas Sat 22-Dec-12 20:03:01

See, I really don't think I could get away with that 'After' pic - I'm not slim and attractive and just think I'd look old, fat and ugly sad.

God, I know this is such a 1st world problem but I hate dying my hair!! blush

cocolepew Sat 22-Dec-12 20:10:45

My mum went grey in her 30's. She always wore her hair really cropped and people used to ask her where she got ger "tips done" grin. She's 70 now and still has the crop and lovely silver hair .

I worry that my hair goes a dull grey, but the bits that shine through between dyes are silver. <dithers>

TheFarSide Sat 22-Dec-12 20:50:23

I don't suit a crop because I have a double chin, so I have the dual problem of going grey and needing to keep my hair fairly long.

doglover Sat 22-Dec-12 20:55:14

I really want to try some of the recommended 'purple shampoo' - please could you have a guess what impact it may have on my hair?!! (I won't sue if you're wrong!!). My natural colour is dark blonde with quite a sprinkling of grey. I'm also growing out old light blonde highlights. Could anyone suggest what could happen?! TIA smile

I haven't dyed my hair for over a year and I'm now completely grey. If you are interested you can see a photo here

doglover Sat 22-Dec-12 21:05:45

I genuinely like it, FHS smile

Fab41 Sat 22-Dec-12 21:05:51

I will join in here too. My hair was home dyed red, naturally auburn but with a lot of grey which was becoming resistant to dye. I went to local hairdressing college to get ash highlights, but my hair failed the incompatibility test and fell apart when tested. So two weeks of coconut oil treatments and I was able to go back and get some darker lowlights in to break up the solid line of the colour growing out. Toned it down a bit closer to natural, but I now intend to let it go natural, maybe a few highlights over the year to help smooth the process. Feels like a big step though... I am reluctant to cut it short as it has taken a couple of years to get a decent shoulder length. Will follow with interest.

TheFarSide Sat 22-Dec-12 21:14:53

FHS I am inspired! Your hair looks wonderfully natural.

The growing out stage looks pretty painful though.

Farside, it was a bit and I could see people looking and trying to work out if I'd just not had time for the hairdresser.
Luckily I don't really give a shit about my appearance, so it didn't bother me much. You could get some highlights only to break it up a bit, this is what my hairdresser suggested but I stopped dying because my psoriasis got really bad.

3b1g Sat 22-Dec-12 21:52:27

I thought about having highlights to break up the transition but failed the strand test (pale green or sludge, anyone?) as there was so much henna build up on my hair. So far, it doesn't look nearly as bad as I expected. I changed my parting to make the (now half white, half brown) streak at the front less obvious, and the rest of the grey is still only scattered. If you can, I would definitely recommend taking the plunge while you are still only a bit grey.

DistantShip Sat 22-Dec-12 22:37:28

I can only read a few messages in this thread as the app keeps crashing.

Marking place, as today my hairdresser advised that due to my scalp being "frazzled" by years of 4-weekly dye, I will have to consider the option of a "managed transition".

Pass the wineto me now!!!! hmm

I'm 44 with a 4yo DS and fear looking even more like his granny at the school gates.

Help me find something to celebrate .....

TheFarSide Sun 23-Dec-12 01:23:41

grin @ "managed transition".

Here's to a stripey New Year wine.

FellatioNelson Sun 23-Dec-12 05:16:45

That's what I need - a managed transition, from solid all over medium-dark brown, to what is now my natural colour - almost completely grey/white across the front, and half and half towards the back.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life a slave to really expensive blonde highlights though, no matter how fabulous they look. I'd happily be go as nature intended if I could guarantee beautiful, silky silver/white streaks, but I suspect I'd look more like a ravaged old brillo pad. sad

Haha, just read some of the decriptions of what we might look like - little bit harsh on ourselves aren't we!
I had a look round the supermarket yesterday - block colour, obviously dyed - reminded me not to do this, grey hair, not cut well - must avoid this, and some really sharp greying bobs and pixie cuts which sort of inspired me to keep going (on very much older ladies, but still).
I think red lipstick will be my friend, and pony tails or updos for a while!

yuleheart Sun 23-Dec-12 08:40:42

Now I'm really dithering - I don't want to lose my long curly hair but have sons wedding in approx 18 months.

3b1g Sun 23-Dec-12 08:44:29

In 18 months you could grow out 9 inches or so. Then wear your hair up for the wedding.

MissBoPeep Sun 23-Dec-12 08:48:16

You can get away with grey if you are young and have great bone structure and a good cut- usually short.

But if you are middle aged it looks awful IMO.

I am 50-ish and women my age I know who have gone grey ( along with giving up entirely on the fashion and make up fronts) look in their 60s or older. It can be terribly ageing unless you are attractive anyway and fashionable. Sorry if this offends but it's how I see it.

PeppermintonCandyCane Sun 23-Dec-12 09:04:50

It's totally worth persevering, but IME you need to work with a good hairdresser to achieve a painless transition.

Because I went grey so early, I got tied into having a cut and colour every six weeks to maintain my natural brunette. In discussion with my hairdresser, she started adding highlights and gradually lightening the brown base down to dark blonde, to avoid the 'badger stripe'. In summer 2011, my hair bleached badly in the sun/sea water and we seized the opportunity to drop the base colour altogether, and go properly blonde, by adding ash highlights to tone down the brassy yellow tones, and complement the emerging greys. So a year on, I still have regular appointments, and have a sharp-ish bob that's multi-toned ash and grey on top, and cut high at the back to reveal the darker natural brown/grey underneath.

I defy anyone to say I look like a granny from the back at least.

FellatioNelson Sun 23-Dec-12 10:34:38

I think you are right BoPeep. Although I don't think it's an age thing necessarily, it's a style and bone structure thing. I see some incredibly elegant older ladies with very classic, simple, sharp bobs or gamine crops in white/grey and they look fabulous. But I agree, most women of a certain age just look lumpen and featureless and dowdy, so grey hair just adds to an already quite depressing look. sad

TheFarSide Sun 23-Dec-12 11:16:20

I agree with Fellatio - I don't necessarily think that it's the grey hair that makes women look "awful" BoPeep. If someone really looks that bad, chances are it's because they've given up generally.

With age, skin fades and hair fades, and in theory our changing natural hair should suit our changing natural skin tones. I think we are just used to seeing dyed hair in older women and therefore associate grey with age.

Anyway, I need this thread to stay Positive About Grey grin

EuroShagmore Sun 23-Dec-12 11:19:37

I like the idea in theory but my hair with a smattering of grey just looks really scruffy. I'm greying v slowly - got my first one at 18, 18 years on I still just have a few. I'd like to go grey proudly but mine is more "unkempt bag lady" than "blue steel" unfortunately, so I always give in an dye it.

I am 4 months into pepperminton's plan. Found an award winning colorist with excellent credentials who has advised me to lighten my dark brunette base colour every 8-10 weeks to minimize the badger stripe, then add in highlights in the new year.

I am tempted to go straight to grey but am not yet 40 and although white on top, have salt and pepper underneath..... I have a pretty modern jaw length cut but fine hair so have been advised not to colour strip .... Also I spend 10 hours a week in swimming pools so don't really want to dry out my hair more than necessary.

Let 2013 be the year of the silver blonde grin

TheFarSide Sun 23-Dec-12 11:29:01

Lots of attractive grey women on here, but a few who look more like me "normal":-

knittedslippersx3 Sun 23-Dec-12 11:29:23

So, is it better to lighten your hair rather than leaving it to go grey on it's own? I have very dark brown eyes and eyebrows, I would look weird with lighter coloured hair.

ninah Sun 23-Dec-12 11:32:21

I have a few silver hairs along my parting, I pull them out when I see them, apart from that I am dark haired
I dunno what grey would look like on me, I quite like the colour of the ones I get but the texture is foul

DistantShip Sun 23-Dec-12 11:34:56

Hand holding needed please blush

Transition day 1 is tomorrow!! Yip Xmas Eve at noon the change begins.

My jaw line layered bob - which is currently mid-brown with a 1" skunk stripe of roots - will be transformed into a shorter pixie style, then the colourist will take over.

She took samples chunks of my hair yesterday to experiment with different processes to see what will work best on the remaining dyed ends.

There was lots of waffle about products and how I am
80% grey, that I pretty much ignored.

DH really supportive; although I think that may be because in his own misguided way, he thinks that I will spend less at the hairdresser in 2013. Ha ha!

DistantShip Sun 23-Dec-12 11:39:23

Thanks for the link TFSide - silver, hematite and anthracite are my new words to describe me.



I don't think grey hair is dowdy bopeep but maybe the majority of women who go grey started off not that 'fashion forward' iyswim? Ie gone grey having never really bothered with makeup etc. I am positive about it - I will be free of the whole stupid clinging on to youth and spending 4 hours in the bathroom with the henna. I hope!

yuleheart Sun 23-Dec-12 16:29:19

I would very much aspire to this:

or this:

or this

and now I'm off to make a 'grey hair' board on pinterest (why didn't I think of that before?)

soupmaker Sun 23-Dec-12 16:53:19

Yule, mine is like the middle one you posted, with even more white stripes at the front and side. I just wash and go in the mornings. But I invest in really decent hair cuts by a stylist I trust. It's not cheap but much better than dying it!

I am lucky as my hair colour suits my skin tone and although I don't wear make up very often, I like to think I'm relatively fashionable at 42.

I agree that to carry of grey you need a decent cut and to not be shopping in the 'classics' section of M&S.

FirstPersonPlural Mon 24-Dec-12 04:12:55

I came back to this thread because I luff you all my stupid BIL made me feel self conscious about my grey this evening...cue funny look at me and "Didn't you used to dye your hair, First? Why ever did you stop?"

Ok, so I'm 33 weeks pregnant with DC1 and a hormonal mess about to turn 39. I'm completely paranoid about what DistantShip mentioned...looking like my child's grandparent at the school gate! sad

I really wish grey hair was reflected more positively in the general media. We just don't see enough of it on people younger than 60, do we?

yuleheart Mon 24-Dec-12 08:50:30

soupmaker I'm envious. that looks lovely!

I've shown the pics to DH this morning and he definately doesn't want me to have my hair cut so I'm going to ring the lovely Cheryl at Saks (who has been the only one EVER to do good things with my hair) after christmas, and hopefully go down this route:

yuleheart Mon 24-Dec-12 08:50:53

oops, didn't tick the link box!

Distantship - good luck!
The grey hair in the media thing is just another part of 'youth' being prized. Hence women ending looking like puffer fish caught in a wind tunnel.
I love the links.
I am going to try to up my grooming, and stay grey!

DistantShip Mon 24-Dec-12 18:41:43

Thanks to Marie at the salon, I am now much less brown, with ash highlights to blend in my rootline and the old brown dye. The bob has gone and I now have a Michelle Williams style crop with longer 'sideburns' and a short choppy fringe.

I do like it, but it will take a few weeks to get used to different look.

Happiy to report that I dont look remotely like my granny wink however I do look even more like my mother

laughinglikeadrain Mon 24-Dec-12 18:43:40

I've just gone from a 18in lenght to a 4 inch lenght jsut so that i could cut all the coulour out!

Its still got some colour in but now it looks like its been dip dyed rather than my roots.

i was pleased to discover that i'mnaturally 50 shades of grey!

DistantShip Mon 24-Dec-12 18:45:40

I must remember to log in using a proper computer when posting. This phone nonsense is just confusing when wine has been opened.

Sooooo, how is everyone doing? Anyone reached for the clairol yet? I have a good inch of grey and mother is horrified!

TheFarSide Sat 29-Dec-12 18:32:48

Obsessively checking regrowth, but remaining determined.

doglover Sat 29-Dec-12 18:36:31

I'm using the Pro:voke 'purple shampoo - love it - and have well and truly 'joined the club'! So fed up of darkish regrowth and am ready to embrace the grey!!

cece Sat 29-Dec-12 18:52:47

I'm now into my second year of turning grey.

I'm nearly 46 and a couple of years ago I decided I was fed up with the bad home dye jobs. It looked awful. The hairdressers were too expensive, so I decided to get rid of the dye. I let it grow out for a couple of months and then had my hair cut short. Thus cutting out all the dyed bits in one fail swoop.

I have very silvery white bits at the front and more salt and pepper at the back. It has now grown back to shoulder length and I have had quite a few compliments from people about it over the last couple of years. Although one of my friends is quite vocal that she thinks I should start dying it again.

What I do notice in group shots, where all my friends have dyed hair, my hair looks quite dull in comparison to others. But I guess that is because not one of them has their natural colour.

Overall I like it and I don't think I would redye it. Although I might consider getting the back done to the same silver white as the front!

Excellent! I am weirdly excited by this! Glad the purple is working - my cousin was quite vocal about the grey too.

Dawndonna Sun 30-Dec-12 14:20:10

I'm 54 with olive skin. I still have jet black (in the main) hair. It looks like a bad dye job, but isn't. I wish I could go grey, I think it would suit me! My grandmother at 99 had more black than grey.

Aquelven Sun 30-Dec-12 14:37:02

Stick with it!!!
Don't get disheartened & give up & undo all the progress.
If you think about when you see a group of women together, some with colour, some not. Do you always think that the ones with dyed hair are years younger than the others? Bet not, it's usually overall style that makes the difference.

I stuck it out, though did get fed up at times, & this is what I have now, same style, same colour..

Look at these & think about not having to bother with the expense & mess of colour again....freedom!

Flossiechops Sun 30-Dec-12 15:10:44

I am 35 and dye my hair a lovely silvery grey colour. It's all the rage now!

Dawndonna Sun 30-Dec-12 16:30:26

Unfortunately, I'm allergic to hair dye!

cocolepew Sun 30-Dec-12 16:44:08

We had a ladies choir cone to sing for us at work. They were all around the same age and most of them had ash blonde bobs or shorter hair. The only one who stood out had let her hair go grey. It was cut into a heavy short style, the others actually looked older.

Has anyone ever tried to dye their hair platium?

I stared growing out my dye a couple of years ago, and spent a lot of time tying it back or twisting it up at the back. Then I went to a very expensive hairdresser and put myself at her mercy - thankfully she created a style which works with both my hair and face shape (I need hair down by my jawline to counteract the chubbiness, so can't have a pixie crop plus my ends curl outwards MIss Hoolie style regardless), and nagged me into using mousse and a hot brush. Then I realised that I needed to change my wardrobe to reflect the new hair colour (after getting massive amounts of compliments wearing a turquoisey top from Primark grin), and finally talked to a lovely woman at Boots who sorted out my foundation needs.

All that's left is to sort out lipstick (and go slightly more often to the hairdressers - haven't been since September, and it shows), and I think I won't look much any older than my actual 42. Everyone thinks I'm older than i am anyway as I had DD1 quite young grin.

A lot of it is confidence (and a decent cut, and grooming) - frumpy and round shouldered is going to look old regardless of the hair colour (and ime a home hair dye, which tends to go along with that sort of mindset, is just as ageing. Been there done that, got the unflattering T shirt). Treat it as a whole person project, and it's a lot easier.

Well. I am quite inspired now. To the poster who asked about platinum - I did and totally ruined my hair.
At the moment I have long curly red hair with a good inch of grey. Not sure how to manage this but I suspect a cut will come into it!

TheFarSide Sun 30-Dec-12 23:08:00

I am starting to get palpitations when I think about not dyeing my hair any more. This is almost as bad as giving up smoking.

I've still got two packets of emergency dye in the bathroom cabinet. Shall I throw them away?

FirstPersonPlural Mon 31-Dec-12 00:33:29

Toss 'em FarSide - be strong!

yuleheart Mon 31-Dec-12 12:06:16, I've been mooching on pinterest and this photo has confirmed it for me!

My hair currently looks a brown version of this and I want this silver grey version -

I have a spare block of henna far just in case the queen asks me to tea mid transition. I have a plan! I am going to keep at it, then have a bob, and white highlights (t section) just to make sure it look like I haven't given up!
I am liking the pinterest stuff.

PessimisticMissPiggy Tue 01-Jan-13 17:32:14

30yo here - left mine for 12 weeks and have a white Mallon streak. I'm getting comments now that aren't exactly supportive. I'm booked in for t-section foils to start working with the grey and transition to a lovely chic salt n pepper grey.

I will need to lose 4 stone before I pixie crop. Triple chin here!

TheFarSide Tue 01-Jan-13 17:51:48

The most recent semi-permanent dye has just about washed away. I now have about half an inch of silvery grey regrowth with the rest of it getting darker towards the tips (a long-standing build up of semi-permanent). However, the regrowth has merged in reasonably well because I put in some thick stripey and very unsubtle highlights before Xmas.

It looks fine in certain lights but really shit in natural daylight.

Pinterest is keeping me motivated.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 01-Jan-13 19:19:10

Yuleheart, that looks like a witch's hair! Long grey hair, unless it is put up, looks terribly ageing and as if you don't care what you look like. (I aspire to this when I am 80.)

drownangels Tue 01-Jan-13 19:30:25

yuleheart. Are you having a laugh?
That is the sort of look that puts me off grey hair.
You will look homeless.

yuleheart Tue 01-Jan-13 19:40:17

good job I'm thick skinned ladies smile

My hair is that long, curly and brown, dye is starting not to take so what do I do? cos I'm definately not a short haired person.

DH prefers this

ChippyMinton Tue 01-Jan-13 20:14:47

Your second link is lovely yuleheart.

Ladies, this is a support thread, so if you can't say something nice...wink

Ooh...... I am so glad I found you all, yuleheart my hair looks like your first pin link, but at present has dye in all bar the first 4 inches... That is how I want to be too
My New Years resolution is to not dye by the end of 2013, I have an appointment on Friday with a good hairdresser to get a shorter cut, maybe shoulder length as I couldn't lose more than that, and to get silver put through to start getting rid of the brown and gold in the rest.
The condition at the ends is shit and I am spending a fortune on colours and conditioners.
Time for a change, please help me be strong

knitknack Tue 01-Jan-13 21:16:45

Yuleheart I think that hair on you link is simply stunning - have you seen the model from the front doubters? I'd LOVE to look like her, in fact all the women on that board:

Look INCREDIBLE! Much, MUCH better than short severe crops, IMO, which just goes to show that we're all different!!

yuleheart Tue 01-Jan-13 21:30:31

I'm already following that board knitknack, I love the pics she uploaded of herself with the timescales on.

knitknack Tue 01-Jan-13 21:34:23

It's so great to see women embracing their natural colour and looking so beautiful!

Jellykat Tue 01-Jan-13 22:01:50

Those women are stunning!

I haven't dyed for @ 6 months, and just checked under a good light, lots of grey in there, but i'm lucky as the darker root colour isn't far off the dyed atm, so its all blending pretty well.

Only trouble is, a lot of the grey seems to be sticking up at right angles to my head! Maybe it'll end up spikey grin
Spent years in my youth trying to get it to do that..

I was a dull brown with grey / white streaks for years and years. Combined with being overweight I looked rubbish.
I then lost some weight and to celebrate had my hair highlighted. Twice over the space of a year. Cost a fortune. Had lots of positive compliments.

BUT, I am 41. I can't really afford to keep colouring my hair. I know it is not an awful lot of money but it is still money we can put to better use elsewhere.
And then there are the chemicals in hairdye...

I currently have a lightly layered chin length bob. My hair was last highlighted in July so I have obvious re-growth.
I think I will go and get my hair cut into a shorter layered bob, buy some purple shampoo and embrace the growing out of the rest of the colour.
Now that I have lost some weight and can dress better I hope / think I will be able to carry the grey off better...

So, Operation Silver 2013 commences here grin

TheFarSide Tue 01-Jan-13 23:29:26

Yuleheart the hair in both your pics looks fab! Clearly there is also a prejudice against older women having long hair as well as grey hair.

<Decides to grow grey hair really long>

yuleheart Wed 02-Jan-13 08:58:59

[Operation Silver 2013] it is!!

Love the new title! We must use Operation Silver 2013 when we run out of space. I saw someone in a feature (my age) with long curly grey hair - looked fab, but helped that she was stunning.
Might be a place here for the odd reminder that we are aiming for chic silver fox not witch grin
Still impatiently waiting for a few more inches of grey!

FirstPersonPlural Wed 02-Jan-13 10:17:43

I love this thread. I click here everytime I have a wibble at the mirror (and currently the pregnancy hormones are running rampant, so it feels quite often!) That said, I know without a doubt that my skin looks better against my silver/grey/dk brown natural tones versus the dyed unnatural colour.

But, again, I really wish there was more positive media coverage and more celebrity women in their 30's and 40's wearing their grey with pride.

Maybe I should move it to style and beauty?

Don't do it - by the time the baby's a year it'll just be nappies in boots, not dye! I too think the white grey suits my skin much better.
Easier to know I'm not on my own doing this. We should all meet in 6 mths for my 40th to update visually!

naturelover Wed 02-Jan-13 10:59:01

I've just read this whole thread.

I'm having a huge dilemma over whether to continue dying my hair or not. I'm 38 and my natural colour is "mouse". I can't afford salon colour, so for the last couple of years I've been doing semi-permanents at home every 6 weeks or so. The problem is that I can never match my natural colour. It always ends up darker and "flat" IYSWIM. Too dark makes me look washed out and I'm convinced that this obviously dyed look is making me look older than I am.

But it takes courage to go against the grain and NOT dye. I mean, if you look around you could be forgiven for thinking that women only go grey in their 60s! (And men go grey in their 30s and 40s hmm...)

I don't have much grey, it's on my temples and parting. I love all those pics you have posted of older women with long glossy silver hair, but alas my hair is short and I'll never be as beautiful as those women either!

If I decide to NOT dye any more I figure I won't have to deal with the in-between stage of growing out colour. Even though I use semi-perm colour I can tell that there is build-up (which always looks brassy after a while) at the ends.

How about this for a strategy:
- stop dying it
- get hair cut more often so that it always looks well styled
- use better shampoo so the condition is always good
- continue to focus on diet and exercise to look healthy (I'm tall and athletic/slim which I appreciate helps me look my age)
- always wear make-up (I'm lazy about this)
- wear more of the bright colours that I KNOW suit me?

I'm hoping the above will counteract the potential ageing effect of some grey hairs. What do you think?

That is also my strategy nature so i can only agree it is a good one!
I think the proble is the tyranny of pretence at youth; which at its worst leads to puffy faced/ puffer lipped/ freeze framed slebs who don't look twenty but look like strange photoshopped beings. I am quite happy about this now - just want to get more grey in!
Also - why are you dying your hair? To attract a mate? For self esteem? To look young? For other women? I'm trying to work out which of those apply to me, and why it matters.

naturelover Wed 02-Jan-13 11:25:48

I think the reason I'm dying it is because it's going to be years (10? more?) before it's fully grey and I somehow don't like the mix of brown and grey. B the fact is that my natural grey-streaked colour does flatter my skintone much more than the too-dark dyed look. I suspect some nice highlights would look good but I am not willing or able to spend that amount of money. And the whole tyranny of it annoys me! I'm by no means a rebel but it feels quite non-conformist to stick two fingers up to the whole norm of dying hair. A whole industry worth a lot of money! The whole thing is such a palaver, whether you go to a salon or do it at home, it takes TIME! I'd rather be reading a good book I think.

Thanks so much for this thread - it's giving me confidence. FWIW DH thinks the grey hairs are fine (he has more than me!)

Aquelven Wed 02-Jan-13 13:19:37

yuleheart I don't think your links look witchy at all, they're fab. If yours is like that it will look stunning silver or grey instead of mud brown.

If it's any help, when I was going through the transit I speeded up getting the dye out by using those kits you can get from Boots for removing hair dye when it's gone wrong, or just too dark. (Just search "colour remover" on Boots site) Plus regular use of Head & Shoulders which helps fade hair colour. Near the end when it was looking just a bit muddy blonde, I sprayed it with Sun In before drying. It soon was light enough that the silver coming through was indistinguishable
Wouldn't go back to dying it now for anything! I love my " platinum" silver/ white hair & wear it shoulder length not all cropped off.

I'm definitely not going for a pixie crop, have decided to go shoulder length. I'm so excited - weird!

I'm still very impatient for my grey silver to grow all the way through to the ends, but looking at the photos of me from Christmas and New Year, the transition isn't actually that noticeable, which has made me feel more confident about continuing. By this time next year I'll be getting the last dyed ends cut off! smile

PessimisticMissPiggy Wed 02-Jan-13 19:40:52

Has anyone with darker hair used the colour remover kits? I was looking at them and considering giving it a go but was wary when it said about greys might have absorbed more colour than other hairs.

I'm worried it'll go patchy and look shit.

yuleheart Wed 02-Jan-13 20:52:06

Emmylou Harris rocking the grey hair

Hi misspiggy i haven't tried, as henna is apparently permanent and can't be coloured over, removed etc.
I now have a halo of grey/ white and am quite excited. Straightened my hair yesterday and it's quite noticeable. I wonder how short I can actually beat to go though, as I have spent several years growing it long.

chocoluvva Sat 05-Jan-13 11:12:08

Takes deep breath.

Puts hand up.

Asks to join.

Time, cost and the principle of accepting that greying hair is normal - attempting to set a good example for my teenage daughter are my reasons.

I like my caramel highlights and they give the illusion of body to my fine hair, but the thought of spending so much time and money at the hairdressers year in year out is a bit depressing.

Verrrrrrry nervous though!

TheFarSide Sat 05-Jan-13 14:39:17

Welcome choco.

Normally I top up my roots with a semi-permanent dye every two weeks, but I haven't touch it since a week before Xmas (although I did put in some rather thick highlights to help disguise the grey regrowth).

It's pretty noticeable already and I am swinging between feeling liberated and feeling incredibly self-conscious about the half inch of regrowth.

I think it's scary because it's a big change in identity - I'm trying to re-imagine myself as a wise and stylish grey haired middle-aged woman (as opposed to a youthful dark haired woman).

TalkinPeace2 Sat 05-Jan-13 14:49:19

I stopped dying my hair years ago. Its long, but always worn up or neatly plaited. The grey is growing in via a gradually widening white streak above my right temple.
People ask where I had the highlight done ! wink
And my hair is naturally shiny because I put very few chemicals onto it.

welcome chocoluvva - think of what you could spend £80 every six weeks on?

Stick with liberated farside - if one crumbles, we all crumble!

peace - nice timely pep talk.

When shall we put photos on our profiles? (Except I want to stay anonymous so will have to hold a big mask up!)

RollerCola Sat 05-Jan-13 16:01:30

Has anyone used a white toner to lighten blonde hair? I have a (probably stupid) theory that if I start to lighten my currently mid-blonde highlighted hair to a more ash/white blonde then the grey/white bits won't be so noticeable when they grow through. I could then gradually stop highlighting and let the natural grey take over.

I don't mean by actually bleaching it lighter as that would damage it, but by using a blue toner to take away the yellow.

TalkinPeace2 Sat 05-Jan-13 17:54:43

silly thing - how many of you actually know what colour mix your natural hair is?

a dear friend went grey at 17, dyed for 30 years and now has let it all fade and grow out leaving the most amazing salt and pepper stripes - that look stunning with red dresses and high heels

less is more ...

80% grey.......

TalkinPeace2 Sat 05-Jan-13 18:14:11

which grey .... and what 80%

I'm originally dark blonde, so my 'grey' is in fact white
and its come in as a stripe rather than salt and pepper
my cousin is battleship grey, evenly spread among her natural black

SwedishEdith Sat 05-Jan-13 18:23:59

Hmm, the reason all those women look good (attractive?) on those links is because they are, well, attractive. And have tanned skin = very key to grey hair looking good, I think. I'm not brave enough to actively choose to do something which would make me look washed out.

TheFarSide Sat 05-Jan-13 19:56:23

But we are also very attractive, SwedishEdith grin

Do you think men with grey hair look washed out? Or are we just not used to seeing women under 60 with grey hair?

white grey with some iron type colour and 80% all over.

I think that's it farside - when you think about it, it's always women wearing makeup/ covering up spots/ dyeing their hair etc - maybe when we were more financially vulnerable and in need of a man it became the norm? Now we can liberate ourselves and join them as equals! [rallying cry!]

SwedishEdith Sat 05-Jan-13 22:29:50

Oh, good question TFS. Had a think about this whilst watching Casualty and noticed Charlie Fairhead (appropriately, grin) and concluded that he did look washed out. But, yes, you're right, we're probably just more used to it with men and less critical.

2kidsintow Sat 05-Jan-13 22:57:27

I love this thread.

One of the men at work is the same age as me. He has gradually gone salt and-pepper grey over the last couple of years. I'm still dying mine.

My husband keeps telling me to stop dying it, and I'd love to. I'm definitely losing the war. Up til now I've only had the odd grey hair, which showed through the dye in about 10 weeks. Now I have a LOT and they start to show through in a matter of weeks.

The only thing is, the lady at work who has just decided to stop dying hers and go grey is 15 years older than me. I'm 38 and don't feel ready yet. (But wish I did!)

TheFarSide Sat 05-Jan-13 23:47:24

It definitely seems to be the case that skin fades as we get older, so we reach a point where we look a bit weird if we keep dyeing our hair its original colour. That certainly applies to me at 50.

I appreciate that quite a few on this thread are still in their 30s - although I think grey hair combined with young(ish) skin can look really great.


I've forgotten what point I'm trying to make.


Grey hair = win-win all round, maybe, no matter what our age?

PessimisticMissPiggy Sun 06-Jan-13 00:49:17

I'll steer clear of the colour removing products and stick to my plan.

I was asked where I had my hair done yesterday and told my badger stripe mallen streak is cute and super cool.

I think I'll need a 'cool' hairstyle to pull it off without looking like an old lady. I love KellyOsbourne's look.

2kids - but has she generally decided to stop with all the effort, or just the grey? I think if you do makeup/ decent style/ clothes you don't look frumpy. I had very short platinum hair a whle ago and it looked good! I'm planning to go grey first and then decide what to do....

auntpetunia Sun 06-Jan-13 19:24:01

Can I join hair last dyed in October and going to be able to go hair dressers for 10 or so weeks, certainly not to sit for 3 hrs when she does my colours,due to having surgery just before Christmas . Am naturally dark with red highlights at the minute it's a shade lighter with lighter reddy blonde highlights but even now have lovely silver parting. Plan is to leave it then get it cut in April.

TheFarSide Sun 06-Jan-13 22:15:12

Welcome, auntjpetunia, the more the merrier. You've done well to manage since October, and April's not too far off.

I've only just started and it's going to take a year to grow my dye out because my hair is a shoulder length bob. I'm on this thread for the long haul.

My naturally brown (with a lot of grey) hair was last highlighted with lighter brown and caramel tones in July. Have not been able to afford to have it re-done and am now deciding not to.

What can I do to strip the remaining colour out, or do I just go through the painfully slow growing-out stage?

doglover Sun 06-Jan-13 22:20:19

I'm in for the long haul, too, TFS. I'm using the Pro:voke 'purple ' shampoo range and am looking forward to a more natural me. Mind you, I do ensure that I now wear make-up - never used to - so that I don't look

auntpetunia Mon 07-Jan-13 06:40:36

I was told vosene shampoo is good for lightening your hair, gonna check that's right and maybe start using that! Used to love the smell when I was a kid.

laughinglikeadrain Mon 07-Jan-13 08:19:32

my sides are very grey....... and i still have 3 or 4 inches of coloured hair to grow out but tthe overall condition is lovely. I too feel liberated from the rigmarole of dying and never being satisfied. my roots always came up lighter than the main colour even when done professionally, soemthing about head heat affecting the dye....

so i was always unhappy....

Now i feel like i'm in charge!

Have only had positive feedback so far, but to be honest, i dont think many people have commented on it.

I think curly hair helps hide the transition!

baby shampoo is apparently really good for removing colour - my hairdresser warned me against it ages ago.
off to work now - will report back any funny looks at my 'letting myself go' ....

TheFarSide Mon 07-Jan-13 15:32:00

Ha ha notactually - since my last top-up, the semi-permanent in my hair has faded somewhat (it won't wash out completely). I went into one of my jobs today for the first time since mid-December and the receptionist did a shock face and said "OMG - you look really different!


I'm not even grey yet.

Only comment ' you can always dye it back ' smile

Oi! Am I on my own here! Am slowly turning grey...

TheFarSide Sat 12-Jan-13 01:35:51

Still here, still here.

I've had some compliments tonight on my hair colour - admittedly the setting was a candelit room where the grey roots blend in with the home-made highlights.

I don't look so hot in natural light.

Haven't caved in though - still feeling very "grey power-ish".

tigerdriverII Sat 12-Jan-13 01:43:51

No. Not a fucking chance. Haven't read the thread, just the OP. sorry.

FellatioNels0n Sat 12-Jan-13 05:18:22

No! No! You should never dye it back! After two years of pain and looking frankly quite shit, why would you DO that? Just to have to do it all again, one day?

My advice would be to anyone finding their first few greys now would be LEAVE THEM. The trauma, at 46 of trying to keep the badger at bay on my dyed dark hair is just awful!

I am fairly dark haired naturally but I went grey quite young and I am now probably 50% white/grey, mostly at the front.

I have no idea how it would look, if I could ataully let it come through - maybe I'd hate it. But the most I would EVER recommend for someone in my situation is that they wait until the grey is about 25% and then start on a programme of mixed coloured soft highlights to blend the grey. That way it is a gradual process.

Honestly I feel like a hostage to my permanent all over medium dark brown. And it never looks that nice anymore, even when freshly done. The depth of colour is not the same and it looks patchy and uneven, my white roots are through after 2-3 weeks and I can't seem to find a hairdresser to get hte shade just right any more. I am thoroughly fed up with it.

If I was skinny I'd have the whole lot cropped off and start again, but at the moment I'd look like a football with a pea on it. sad

I've got my fortieth birthday party tonight. Over a hundred people coming, some of whom I haven't seen in ages. Currently have three to four inches of grey 'highlights' along with a Rogue-style white streak at the front.

Part of me wants to henna it all before tonight so that I look younger and cooler, but then I'd be undoing seven months of 'growing out' and would have to start all over again.

It doesn't help that I've gained a stone over the last seven months, either. Slightly worried that everyone will just assume that I'm no longer making any kind of effort. sad

Oh I really hope your party went well!
Know what you mean about the short cut - I would look odd.
Have a v lovely day planned for march 1 and an thinking about whether I am brave enough to go very short so I don't look stripey.

I can't do it.

I've tried and I don't mind the stripey look so much (have been getting a lighter base colour on my dark brown hair) but I would be white on top and dark underneath. I just don't think it will suit me at the moment and at under 40, I don't think I'm ready yet. I have ordered great henna for grey hair that I used to use (one major factor for another dyeing was the ppd in hair dye that made my head feel are really tight, almost painful, for a couple of hours after dyeing). I will watch the thread with interest and will be back eventually.....

laughinglikeadrain Sat 12-Jan-13 12:56:29

threebeeonegee cant you wear a hat? a facinator? a scarf? a thick headband?

Get the wash in wash out purple coloured fashion hairspray... then everyone will think that you are as mad as a box of frogs especially if you match it with a purple teacosy hat!

Gulp. Count me in. You lot have inspired me. I've dyed my hair since I was 15 and can't actually remember what my real colour was. Am 50, completely white on top and darker underneath but have been dyeing it blonde for the past few years which looks pretty good and helps with covering up the regrowth. Am very pale with grey/blue eyes so could look v washed out.

Scary though and know I will have to make more of an effort with makeup, hair etc. Thinking updos may help with the growing out stage. Views?

TheFarSide Sat 12-Jan-13 20:55:34

I think updos can look very elegant paddy and the grey regrowth doesn't seem to look so bad. Unfortunately I am self-conscious about my double chin, currently hidden under my shoulder length hair.

I hardly ever wear make-up but I DO dye my eyebrows and eyelashes to avoid the washed out look.

MadgeArsehole Sat 12-Jan-13 21:22:30

One of my colleagues is grey. A friend commented that she "looks like your Auntie, Madge." She is 5 years younger than me...

It was fine. smile
I had such a great time that I completely forgot about my hair or what it looked like.

Good, I'm glad it was fun.

I'm wobbling...

TheFarSide Fri 18-Jan-13 19:17:21

notactuallyme nooooooooooo!!!!!!

We are all in this together.

Look at the pinterest photos again. Pick one to aspire to.

We don't want to look young (it doesn't work anyway). We want to look striking.

Well, it's not quite the inspirational "I have a dream speech" but the best I can do right now.

TheFarSide Fri 18-Jan-13 19:18:01

Somehow, when I look in the mirror and see my three quarters of an inch grey regrowth, I think of you all and know I can carry on.

TheFarSide Fri 18-Jan-13 19:18:58

You started this.

Now finish it.

<running out of cliches>

Don't worry! Your last , slightly scary, message has kept me on track! I am happy about my choice, just wish I had more grey and less red!

TheFarSide Sat 19-Jan-13 18:57:10

Sorry, notactually - I was panicking!

My hair is shoulder length and all one length, so I think my difficult patch is going to be when the regrowth is fairly significant - over an inch - and that stage will continue for many months.

I was told last week that my hair looked sexy - admittedly it was my 75 yo female friend, but ignoring that, I'm still incredibly pleased I suffered the dye growing out phase. Stick with it folks, and think of the new wardrobe you'll need for the new image grin.

PessimisticMissPiggy Sat 19-Jan-13 20:44:22

Hair fail today sad.

Went to the hairdresser together a cut and she suggested rather then high and low lights taking my grey stripe all the way down by lightening the non-grey part (bleach) then toning it grey/silver.

I now have a chunky pale blonde stripe either side of my parting. The hairdresser is blush and I'm going back on Monday for more bleach and toner. If it doesn't work then it'll have to be coloured brown I'm back to square one, but I'd have lost my lovely mallen streak.

Arghhhh misspiggy - just argh!

I am holding out - tied my hair back and shocked myself at the grey halo!

auntpetunia Sat 19-Jan-13 22:57:23

Oh misspiggy that's bad.

mine isn't looking too bad as it's permanently tied up at the minute whilst I'm off work and my grey is very much down my parting and I only see it when I'm brushing, actually can't really see it then am so short sighted! But DD told me today that the silver is about and inch on the parting. Going to just leave it whilst I'm unable to go hairdresser and see where we are in April.

My problem is I've just grown my hair out from a very short crop and it's now past my shoulders and I don't want to get it cut because of the grey. Any ideas?

PessimisticMissPiggy Mon 21-Jan-13 20:27:58

Hair success today!

More bleach and toner and I'm now fashioning amazing ash grey highlights at the most grey part of my hair (front). It's a statement look and I've had some amazing complements today!

TheFarSide Mon 21-Jan-13 23:22:53

Good news, Miss Piggy - we can't afford to lose anyone from the cause.

I'm off on holiday next week looking like a wreck with grey roots a mature confident woman who's not afraid to be herself ...


wendycraigsmini Thu 24-Jan-13 15:03:01

Hurrah to find this thread smile
I've not dyed for quite a while; am aspiring to a 'striking' look ('aspiring' the key word here).
Does anyone use Klorane silver highlights shampoo? Came across it on Amazon and wondering whether to get.

homeaway Thu 24-Jan-13 16:00:40

I am inspired by all of you ! I have a few grey hairs and the hairdresser keeps on trying to pressure me into colouring the whole lot a different colour. I have resisted so far and now I am growing out a pixie cut from last summer but it is taking soooooo loooooong. At least now I can just about get it all into a ponytail but I really want to be able to put it up in a messy bun but that is months away. I think you are all great for going " au naturelle ".

turkeyboots Thu 24-Jan-13 17:33:14

I am another one you are all inspiring not to go down the hair dye route. Have increasing numbers of greys but staying strong and not dying it. Despite my not so "D" mother and sister expressing their horror at my hair.

Stay strong everyone!

Well, I was at a large conference today, full of lots of women my age and older ('wmaao') - of these, some had just obviously gone grey, kept the same style, and weren't doing the whole make up thing. One on my table looked amazing - long bob, really nice condition, and others had variants of full dye job, highlights and just grey. So, actually whoever said it's not a frumpy thing, unless you give up on style, make up, clothes (and fair enough if you do) is, I suspect, right.

At soft play and there is the most beautiful white haired mum - grey not platinum, long hair, ageless. Inspired!

TheFarSide Sat 26-Jan-13 17:52:55

I'm about to lighten my hair so the grey regrowth isn't so noticeable - can't face going on holiday tomorrow with it the way it is.

Just going into the bathroom now ...

Come out!!!! Nooooooo don't abandon me!!!

TheFarSide Sat 26-Jan-13 19:43:40

Fear not, notactually - I was lightening it with a colour removing kit, not dyeing it !!!

Anyway, it didn't work.

I will have to go on holiday with my grey stripe.

TheFarSide Sat 26-Jan-13 19:44:08

I will never abandon you.

PessimisticMissPiggy Sat 26-Jan-13 19:59:39

Keep strong!

Phew. I am quite liking my grey - if I have a ponytail I look like someone really clever. [Grin]

Someone on another thread is about to start dying their grey for the first time.

Anyone want to join me in suggesting it would be better to just leave it to grow gracefully?

Direct them over here! I really wish I'd never dyed my hair!!!!

catnipkitty Sat 02-Feb-13 11:42:38

Hooray for finding this thread! I stopped dying my hair 1 and half years ago at the age of 41. I just got totally fed up of the time it took, the money, the testing on animals and felt awful about washig all those chemicals into the environment.

Sooo...I have very short hair and brown flecked with silver now - about 60% brown, 40% grey. I do look in the mirror sometimes and feel old and I hate that, but I just give myself a good talking to! Hardly anyone else I know in RL of my age has let themselves go grey and i do sometimes feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.

But it's SO UNFAIR that it's ok in our culture for men to go grey but wierd for women to not mind looking their age.

Good luck to all and stay strong!!

PessimisticMissPiggy Sat 02-Feb-13 16:22:20

Found some amazing and cheap Greg products this week. Bristles shampoo, conditioner and styling product for grey hair - 99p each!

PessimisticMissPiggy Sat 02-Feb-13 16:24:59

Greg? I mean grey. Also Bristows Silver is the brand!

Haha. Thought you were drowning your sorrows in sausage rolls! How short is short catnip

LazyMachine Sun 03-Feb-13 08:56:44

Hello again - glad to see everyone holding out and staying strong! I've ha a few wobbles this week. As a reminder, I'm late 30's, grew out grey for a few months and then did the pixie chop, which was quite flattering. But now it's in a still-short but growing out akward phase ghat happens to coincide with a birthday AND the final weeks of pregnancy - not the time you want to be feeling rotten about your hair!

The thing that saved me from pulling out the dye was a loooooooong conversation with my wonderful DP. Seriously! We talked out all the pros and cons (including potential PND) and I'm feeling confident again. He did suggest that maybe I should get the cut reshaped, so that it felt 'fresh' again. Did it yesterday (without losing the long fringe I've been growing out for what feels like ages) and it looks a lot better. (Actually, I don't know that it looks that much different, but I feel better, which is really all that counts!)

The thing I find most interesting, which I've already mentioned up-thread, is that wearing my hair it's natural colour (60% grey/40% brown) makes my skin glow - I'm no longer washed out by the tone of the dye. If that's not an incentive, then I don't know what is. Please don't burst my bubble and tell me it's the pregnancy hormones!

LazyMachine Sun 03-Feb-13 08:59:26

Sorry for all the typos - I've got swollen fingers!

Definitely not the hormones! I think the grey. Definitely the paler colours will look better with your skin!

TheFarSide Sun 03-Feb-13 17:25:37

Survived my week abroad with ever expanding grey roots - nobody was pointing and laughing at me.

I do agree LazyM about glowing skin - my growing out grey definitely makes my skin look better. As you say, not so washed out.

Glad you're all still here, plus some newbies too.

catnipkitty Mon 04-Feb-13 21:13:59

Notactually my hair's very similar to Jamie Lee Curtis's short style. Takes 5 mins to wash, condition and dry and I put in some putty and go!

practicality Tue 05-Feb-13 14:29:20

I have done this by just clipping it all off. Currently wearing an array of berets. I like he colour that's coming in- just not the current buzz cut. The line between the colour and roots was making me look bald as it was growing in so I just grasped the nettle.

I was having to dye my hair every two weeks. I then had a reaction (mild) but took that as my cue to stop. Only a month to go before I will okay going out without a hat......

Practicality - wow! not sure i'm brave enough for that - currently thinking about when to go for the chop from half way down my back?

doglover Tue 05-Feb-13 16:26:01

I had a hair appointment today for the usual cut 'n' blow and mentioned to the stylist that I was going to let nature take it's course and go grey. Well , her reaction was hardly supportive! She tried to talk me out of it for ages - I've been dying my own hair so it wasn't as thought she's losing any money - leaving me feeling very disheartened shock. I'm rather liking my multi-toned locks and now feel quite upset that she was so disparaging. I will be continuing with my quest, however! smile

TheFarSide Tue 05-Feb-13 16:47:38

doglover my hairdresser has always been against the idea of me going grey even though, like you, she wouldn't be losing any money. I'm dreading my next visit but she cuts it really well so I don't want to find another hairdresser. I guess hairdressers have the same prejudices as the rest of the population - some of them are going to be anti-grey.

doglover Tue 05-Feb-13 16:59:57

Thanks for that. I'm keen to give it a go and have to realise that not everyone else has to agree with my decision! Be strong!

catnipkitty Tue 05-Feb-13 21:50:40

My hair dresser said women shouldn't let themselves go grey until they are in their sixties! She is a fab hairdresser and really lovely and has got used to the idea now, but does still mention dying my hair occaisionally! I think it's just such an ingrained thing in our cultrue that we dare not go grey until becoming an OAP that it's hard for people to understand why on earth you'd want to!

I think hairdressers are just conditioned to want to do stuff to hair! So they might not be losing your money! But buying into grey might not be the way forward for a profit making career. Plus, most hairdressers experiment with colour and cut themselves - going grey is really an alien concept.
I really like my paler hair now - I'm wearing a pony tail a lot. Its kind of like a little bereavement - accepting that I'm getting older and that's okay.

shopafrolic Tue 05-Feb-13 22:15:20

Apologies if this has been posted before as I've only had time to skim read but thought you'd like to read this

LubyLu2000 Tue 05-Feb-13 22:17:41

Love this thread and just wanted to add some hope to those going through the transition grin. I'm a youngish looking 40 and had been dying my hair very dark brown for over 20 years. 18 months ago got it all chopped off and bleached - admittedly hair was an odd colour & very dry for a week or 2 til I went back and got it sorted. But that phase passed within a few months & when it was all my natural colour I let it grow down to a sharp graduated bob. My hair is a very bright sparkly white & I get loads of compliments & people asking how I managed to get my hair that colour. It's possibly not to everyone's taste but I cannot even begin to explain the relief of not having to dye my hair every 3-4 weeks and seeing the badger stripe after just 2 weeks. I also look at a lot of older women with very obviously dyed hair & feel quite smug cos mine looks nice & shiny & healthy wink And I also think I won't go through some sort of ageing crisis in to do with my hair as mine was already white before I was old! I've never been tempted once to go back to the bottle. Good luck everyone!

naturelover Tue 05-Feb-13 22:39:53

Thanks for the link shopafrolic! Very inspiring.

I'm definitely finding it hard not dying my hair. I only have about 10% grey and it could take 10-15 years before I'm completely grey. I suppose my worry is that people think I have let myself go. Right now my hair looks terrible - grey streaks in the roots but meanwhile the bulk of my hair is a nasty brassy dyed colour (nothing like my natural colour thanks to two years of semi-perm colour).

Like Anne Kreamer in that article, I need to get in shape, wear more colour and rethink my make-up.

Most of my friends seemed puzzled by my decision. One friend was shocked and has been trying to talk me out of it...

TheFarSide Tue 05-Feb-13 22:40:24

I've added a new photo on my profile showing progress so far ... just so you all know you're not suffering alone.

naturelover Tue 05-Feb-13 22:41:39

My hairdresser has also tried to talk me out of it, saying I'll regret making myself "look older" in her words.

TheFarSide Tue 05-Feb-13 22:55:16

Just read the article - a very good description of what I'm going through at the moment - thanks shopafrolic.

PessimisticMissPiggy Tue 05-Feb-13 23:18:51

Wow. Well done everyone for staying strong. I'm noticing more silvery shimmers in my previously non-grey sections.

I'm wondering whether or not to really push with my weightloss, lose the double chin and go for a pixie cut to completely cut out all of my dye. If only losing 2stone was so easy!

shopafrolic Wed 06-Feb-13 08:35:49

Glad the article was of interest. I'm probably 70% plus grey with a very short haircut but I'm not ready to let go of the dye just yet (just turned 40). My hairdresser says I should "embrace" it but I can't yet. We are starting to put a few highlights through it though to soften the line as the grey roots appear!! I'm very impressed reading this. Good luck!

Wow! A sudden burst of energy, prob down to the article! I will try to post a photo, eek! I do feel that letting yourself go shouldn't be the same as going grey - we need to stamp that out. Its about good skin and hair care and not valuing yourself by clairol!

neriberi Wed 06-Feb-13 14:14:18

I'm 38 and are in the process of going grey. I have naturally very dark brown - black hair and lots of the grey, which all seems to be concentrated at the front of my head which means I look like a badger when it grows out after colouring, so I decided to stop dying my hair. That was a a year ago.

I did however use a couple of semi colours in 2012 because I panicked about going to a job interview with root growth blush the semi's seem to have clung to my hair not washing out properly which is fine because they've made the grey look like a dirty blonde and I have no root growth!

I rather like my grey, its a lovely silver colour and seems to sit well with the unwashed out semi colour, however I did ask my friend who's a colourist to put some low lights through my hair, I have hazel eyes and very pale skin which means I can look a little washed out with the amount of grey, so I had low lights put in and chopped my hair into a short bob and for once in my life I'm actually happy with my hair grin

Meglet Wed 06-Feb-13 14:34:48

My hair is dark brown and only has some grey speckles, but I've never dyed it and have no intention of doing so. I figure that grey hair doesn't affect me, whereas eating well and going to the gym will keep me looking younger.

I'm keeping it shoulder length as it can be curly and short hair looks awful on me.

farside - your grey looks lovely! almost like the blonde. You'll be fine!

doglover Wed 06-Feb-13 17:42:50

What an inspirational article! I must re-read it if I ever have a 'wobble' in my grey journey!

PessimisticMissPiggy Thu 07-Feb-13 20:22:50

neri sounds lovely!

I just had all my hair cut off!
It was down my back in a cascade of red curls and now it's just under my chin. With a good few inches of grey underneath but only a small visible bit / stripe. Looks like it's really happening...

Aquelven Sat 09-Feb-13 17:11:20

I'd just like to add my agreement to Lubylu's encouraging post as I too am through the other side & don't regret for one minute dumping the dye.

Stick with it, you're doing brilliantly.
It really is worth it in the end. No messy hours every few weeks, gone the expense, far more flattering to your skin tone as it lightens along with your hair AND no more risk of a horrendous allergic reaction like that poor boy had this week that was reported in the papers.
As someone who has been rushed into A&E on three occasions with anaphylactic shock ( not hair coloured related but to a medication I need to keep me going, heart related) believe me, it's not something to risk for something that's use isn't vital.

My hair is white now, has been since I stopped colouring it in my early thirties. I have a shoulder length bob & I get more compliments on it now than I ever did when it was dark. Get stopped in the street & my son's new girlfriend took to the peroxide to try to get hers the same!!
The transition bit can be a bit of a chore, disheartening at times, but honestly it is worth sticking with it. Good luck....just think you could be platinum blonde for free. wink

TheFarSide Sat 09-Feb-13 18:16:01

OMG notactually !!!


twentythirteen Sat 09-Feb-13 18:22:13

Just thought I'd have a read to see what folks are up to in their journey. I went for a trim today and very kind (very young I should add) hairdresser complimented my "natural highlights"! I do love it. I last coloured my hair over two years ago and although the first several months were a struggle, and it took some time working out what products to use on my uncoloured hair, I've never looked back. Good luck to you all!!!

CeeceeBloomingdale Sat 09-Feb-13 18:40:18

I've just dyed my hairline and thought I'd look up this thread. I'm 36 but probably look a little younger. I started going grey when I was 11and have coloured my gair dark brown ever since. It's vety porous so a semi will grow out like a permanent so I tend to use pernanent as it's cheaper. My grey is almost white so very contrasting. My middle parying is probably 95% grey now but the back more salt and pepper so I'm experimenting by only dying the hairline which is the visible bit (I gave long hair and wear a ponytail most of the time to hide roots). I'll see what the underneath bit looks like before commiting to going grey. I feel too young but then the maintenance is too much.

frostfrond Sat 09-Feb-13 19:12:13

I am not trying to put anyone off as it is a personal choice but I would just like to say. I let my hair go completely grey 2 years ago after getting it cut really short and then it came in quite a nice colour of grey and was very curly.The thing is I felt I looked much older and people TREATED me as if I was older.I am 49 and look that but no older and people in their 60`s were saying "we" in conversations with me as If I was as old as them .I went back to the hairdressers and my hair is now a lovely light brown shade as I had been getting it dyed darker brown for years so of course it was going darker and darker and would not lighten so going grey actually made me have the colour of hair I had been craving IYSWIM as it was easy to colour it after that .Just another way to go if you are wobbling

Thanks 2013 and ceecee for the positive stories - it does seem quite hard now, but I just want to stop with the whole dying, waiting for roots, colour build up etc. frost thank you, that is a bit depressing! I was chatting to the hairdresser about maybe getting a cple coloured strands at the front, to ensure it looks like a positive choice!

TheFarSide Sat 09-Feb-13 23:03:45

I still say grey hair doesn't actually make anyone look older, it's just that we associate it with being older. We will all get to a point where dyeing our hair is just going to make us look like old people trying to look young. I think we should explore ways of projecting youthfulness other than dyeing our hair - the obvious ones being the way we dress and our fitness levels.

TheFarSide Sat 09-Feb-13 23:05:22

There's always false hair extensions in a range of colours.

Farside - I agree. Plus roots coming through look really ageing and ungroomed anyway.

Still trying - got about 2 inches of grey, and an appointment in 8 weeks with hairdresser...

Intersat Sat 16-Feb-13 09:49:17

I'm glad you're still going grey. I have been following the thread from the start and made the decision to stop dyeing my hair too. Unfortunately it is taking ages to grow at all. I used to think it grew fast up until this point. Apparently you stop dyeing it and it stops growing! Who would have thought it.

Do you think it's psychological? Like it feels forever?
I'm going to put a few while highlights through the front of mine when it's all gone, just to make sure it looks like i want grey! Not in a kind of covering it up/ every six weeks way, just a little nod to this being a choice.

doglover Sat 16-Feb-13 12:47:59

I'm starting to struggle with how my hair looks at the moment. Although, to be fair, I think it's more the style than the rather nondescript colour. My fringe does peculiar sticking-out things which is currently driving me crazy - I need to 'keep the faith' and possibly think about a restyle! confused

Don't give up! If you dye it, you'll be fine for six weeks, and then the teeny grey roots will appear again....
Straighteners for the fringe?

TheFarSide Sat 16-Feb-13 14:16:11

I'm finding my hair-related mood can swing from one extreme to the other.

I've had a really good week with a compliment from some friends that lighter hair suits me, and generally feeling really confident, but then woke up yesterday feeling like a 50 year old with grey roots ...

Good idea to have a goal to aim for, notactually, with your white highlights plan. I'm sure it will help keep you focused, and when you get there you might find you don't need them after all.

Doglover - the restyle idea sounds like a good one. At least you can see that the colour isn't the problem. Stay strong!

TheFarSide Sat 16-Feb-13 14:28:48

There's a FaceBook group called "Going Gray, Looking Great" which I've been following. It's a bit cheesy and American, but every couple of days they post a photo of a normal-ish looking woman with grey hair. It's really helping to keep me going.

Intersat Sat 16-Feb-13 16:37:02

Notactuallyme ...It may be just psychological. It just seems to have been stuck at 1 inch of grey since December. It looks like I have just forgotten to dye it.

Doglover...I just had my hair cut an hour ago so that's cheered me up a bit. I think you are on the right track with a restyle.

Intersat Sat 16-Feb-13 16:40:17

TheFarSide... I know what you mean about the hair related mood swings. I
felt quite good until I caught my reflection in a mirror while out shopping. It just catches me by surprise sometimes.

noddyholder Sat 16-Feb-13 16:42:37
doglover Sat 16-Feb-13 16:44:46

Thank you, ladies. Your comments have helped me to re-ignite my grey ourney! I'll see if my hairdresser can fit me in for a revamp next week smile

doglover Sat 16-Feb-13 16:45:11

Or even *journey!!

MerryCouthyMows Sat 16-Feb-13 18:15:03

Um, NO! I've only HAD grey hairs for 3 months, the dye got whacked on immediately. I'm still firmly in the denial stage about my grey hairs. Going without the hairdye?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

MerryCouthyMows Sat 16-Feb-13 18:21:41

(I'm only 31, not yet ready to be grey. Plus my hair is waist length, and it would either mean having to have the whole lot cut off, or having to deal with gradually lengthening grey bits for 3+ years!)

merry grin shhh! I wish I'd not bothered with the dye when I started going grey, but its very difficult not to. Maybe we should set up a gb facebook group...

TheFarSide Sat 16-Feb-13 19:42:22

Merry you are a mere youngster so I understand you're not ready yet ... but beware, if you dye your hair for too many years, one day you're going to have to deal with the pure grey re-growth. Your youth could be an advantage - grey can look really stunning on young people.

If you must dye, consider the temporary dyes - so-called semi-permanents still stain the hair shaft and don't wash out.

Ha ha, get us wise old women. I am actually thinking of setting up a blog or FB page...

CeeceeBloomingdale Sat 16-Feb-13 21:37:19

I've just had a haircut and I was speaking to my hairdresser about my plans (although the huge roots underneath were probably a clue. She's keen for me to lop all my hair off into a short and funky do but I think going grey AND short at the same time might be a step too far. At the moment it's long and dark brown (or at least the hairline is dark brown). Underneath I've stopped colouring it to see how grey it is. I could tell the front and top is almost 100% white but I thought the back was less so. My hairdresser surprised me by estimating as much as 80% underneath.

I have about an inch grown out so far underneath and about 3 inches of hair where a semi-permanent colour has clung so that's a paler brown. I figure the front might be easiest to do last as I can get that cut into shorter layers.

I'm struggling to find a style to aspire too though. I'm 36 and had short hair as a teenager which didn't suit me. I have high cheek bones but am quite jowly, skin is a pale olive. My hair is thick and I have a lot of it. It's natural state is frizzy which I straighten (or occasionally curl). I also wear glasses although may go back to contact lenses in the future. I worry long mught be too 'witchy' but bob length is a big no-no for me as me hair is uncontrolable. It either needs the weight of long hair or no weight at all.

i could see myself like this in the future (well maybe not THAT good lol) and this is not far from my usual style

My age is worrying me though, I'm only 36 with young children, and just starting to get back into fashion and styling myself more. Hoping I'm not making myself dull and dowdy.

TheFarSide Sat 16-Feb-13 23:20:25

Hmmm Ceecee - if your hairdresser is suggesting a short do, maybe it will suit you better than you think? (Unless she is one of those hairdressers who just like to experiment). On the other hand, those pinterest pics look fine. I wonder why we are so quick to associate long grey hair with witches.

Notactually - start a blog, start a blog!!! It will have to have pictures though.

Aquelven Sun 17-Feb-13 02:50:22

I think the most witchy look is long dark hair once hour skin as lightened along with your hair colour, which it always does.
Older women with very dark hair look awful.

Aquelven Sun 17-Feb-13 02:51:33

Your not hour blush

CeeceeBloomingdale Sun 17-Feb-13 07:42:00

Thanks both. That's true re the too dark to be natural hair. I think the hairdresser just doesn't know what to suggest. She's a funky little thing in her early 20s so just doesn't have things like this on her rador.

Ceecee I typed a really long reply in my head and then realised I hadn't posted! I think be careful over a very short cut, harder to straighten, harder to leave without a cut etc. I am aiming for nondescript but well cut at the moment - chin length bob.
Farside - very tempted, will investigate later today. Not sure about the photos tho - might have to name change for any other posts!

TheFarSide Tue 19-Feb-13 15:34:24

You can block out your face, notactually - I know it's not quite the same but anonymity is very important (to me too).

Just back from a visit to my 82 year old dad who told me (aged 50) that I shouldn't be going grey yet and, if I insisted, I should get my hair cut as women look terrible with long grey hair.

I reverted to being a teenager and told him not only am I going to keep it grey but I am also going to grow it even longer.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 19-Feb-13 15:49:39

I like this thread grin I am going through the same at the moment and am about 5% grey and 42. I used a different hairdresser last week and when I mentioned about going grey he said 'well you HAVE to dye it, theres no option', and when I said well I just pluck them out at the moment he looked horrifed and said 'oh no that will make them grow even more quickly'. Rubbish!

So in the manner of TFS I vowed not to dye and to carry on going grey and see how far I got. I have very dark hair and so greys really show up.

Hmmm, like cutting it makes it grow faster (my hairdresser last month). Funny how dyeing it and cutting it are bread and butter to hairdressers.

Its just such an alien concept to go grey when we've been conditioned to dye our hair til our eighties.

NuclearStandoff Tue 19-Feb-13 18:06:48

Agree with Aquelven my SIL is 60 and has jet black hair and I think it looks terrible. Think Hilary Devey.

I am going to be 50 this year, and have only been dying for about 4 years - mid-brown hair with blonde highlights and a tint every six months, so not a slave to the hair dye. But can still see quite a few greys.

But, I look younger than 50 (I think!!) and if I stop the hair colour that will make me look my true age won't it?

I agree with others it must be easier to go grey when you only have a few grey hairs than when you are completely grey.

saw a woman in her '80s the other day with jet black hair. and thinning. not a good look.

What to do!!

TheFarSide Tue 19-Feb-13 18:22:15

<googles Hilary Devey>


What to do?
Join the revolution!
Am going to start a blog tomorrow, spent today lookong at them and deciding who to use.
My mil is 76 and has jet black hair. I'm quite excited must be the wine

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 19-Feb-13 23:02:17

I god, I often liken myself to Hilary Devay! I have naturally black hair and quite high cheek bones, but I am ageing. I see HD quite often in the mirror. In fact all made up tonight I said to DH I look like HD!

I am going to embrace my grey grin

babySophieRose Wed 20-Feb-13 00:08:42

Noooooooooo! Why should I? Hair dye is cheap, and you look better!

funny or dorien?
Think of all the women with dyed darker hair - does it really look good? Paler is much better.

auntpetunia Thu 21-Feb-13 22:49:17

Well my 11 year old DD told me today I have to get my hair sorted out. Apparently going grey is not an option it would make me look old like Daddy (he's 50), I'm 45 but my hair is so much darker than his ever was.

I am considering leaving it till end of March and then going short, currently below shoulder level but I have been very short in the past and it looks OK.

PessimisticMissPiggy Fri 22-Feb-13 13:22:33

FarSide oooooh you rebel! Do it.

Looking forward to a blog linky!

auntpetunia - I was checking out a load of women's hair today (new hobby) at work and one had amazingly lovely judi dench type short hair. If it works, it works.
My first post may well be about the most gorgeous looking grey haired lady that I interrogated blush - curls, funky fringe, cropped back - who looked fab. Also noticed a lot of oddly flat dyed hair. Noticing more when dye looks wrong.
Blog tba - sorted photos and may post a link under a name change shortly.

doglover Fri 22-Feb-13 20:56:29

I'm really, really struggling to keep the grey going at the moment. In my opinion, my hair looks drab. I feel drab. Drab. Sorry

Oh no! I might allow you highlights if you really can't cope....

doglover Fri 22-Feb-13 21:31:37

Thanks, NAM. I may have to succumb ................ sad

<Powercrazed> that's fine!

TheFarSide Fri 22-Feb-13 23:34:00

doglover weren't you trying to book yourself in with your hairdresser for a revamp? Anyway, as notactually says, highlights are allowed. Stay strong.

Haha, I love this 'what's allowed' we're like the weightwatchers point system for hair. <bossy>

rubyrubyruby Sat 23-Feb-13 10:39:08

Just marking my place as I have S&B topic hidden so only just found this thread.
I have recently started doing this. I usually have foil highlights and base colour but missed out the base colour last trip to he hairdressers and onlyI had highlights.

Is that cheating ?

pirouette Sat 23-Feb-13 10:42:07

I can't get the link to work but Olga Polizzi (Alex's mum) is absolutely gorgeous and I want hair like hers.

doglover Sat 23-Feb-13 12:23:15

Yes, TFS, I was. Well-remembered! Unfortunately, she was ill and I've been ill so nothing could be arranged. Maybe next week if we're both well again!

TheFarSide Sat 23-Feb-13 14:27:55

Hmmmm Ruby ... I would like to propose that highlights are allowed but only on a temporary basis ie during the transition phase, as a way of merging regrowth. Once all the old hair dye has grown out, highlighting should be stopped immediately.

Ooooooh harsh! I just had a chat with another lovely grey lady who told me to go for it.

auntpetunia Sat 23-Feb-13 20:01:59

Oh TFS you are harsh! I'm giving mine another month then am going to see what amount of grey I have then decide whether to highlight or go pixie!

rubyrubyruby Sat 23-Feb-13 20:15:16

Thanks TFS blush
I did need the highlights to generally lighten my hair so the re-growth is less obvious but will try to resist at my next appointment.
I'm very grey at the front but have hardly any at the back.

TheFarSide Sat 23-Feb-13 20:38:24

I have to admit I've put in so many Wella highlights that I have actually turned myself blonde at the front. It's helping me (and my acquaintances) get used to myself with very light hair (it used to be brown).

rubyrubyruby Sat 23-Feb-13 20:40:25

Well - I'm not sure I will allow that TFS wink

Erm tfs I think that may be against the rules...<Flicks to 'stealth blonde' in Grey Rule Book>
A bit like accidentally lowlighting my hair to a lovely brunette?
Am probably going pixie mid March - eeek. Was past shoulder length henna red last month!

auntpetunia Sun 24-Feb-13 08:20:55

Errr notactually did I read that right? You've gone brunette!!! What about all this girl power and going grey gracefully …<wandering off to double check rule book >

auntpetunia Sun 24-Feb-13 08:25:23

Errr notactually did I read that right? You've gone brunette!!! What about all this girl power and going grey gracefully …<wandering off to double check rule book >

practicality Sun 24-Feb-13 10:15:20

I have gone back to the bottle. My hair came through like that guy from the Sopranos- really White at the sides. Tried blonde and that look BAD. So now it's brown. All over. I am going to have to wait for my crown of wisdom. It's not there yet.

auntpetunia NOOOO! I still have grey and haven't coloured it, high or lowlighted it at all. Was an example of what would not be allowed.
Man down! - practicality

TheFarSide Sun 24-Feb-13 11:17:32


I've finished with the highlights now. One way or the other, the grey regrowth cannot be avoided.

Never mind, Practicality - perhaps the time is just not right for you. You really have to want this.

auntpetunia Sun 24-Feb-13 13:00:41

OK sorry misread that! Glad to see you're setting a good example for everyone

Okay! Spent all of today hating myself for general frumpiness - I have always been quite interested <shallow> and adventurous and this chin length thing is not working for me. Looked at short grey haired ladies and its not going to look good on me just yet (not enough grey). So I've booked a six o'clock tonight - going to go for sideways sweep of grey stroke red, and an undercut. Need to look like this is intentional. Hairdresser 1 didn't seem too adventurous when I told her I couldn't stand it anymore (poPped in) so am trying elsewhere!

auntpetunia Wed 27-Feb-13 17:39:33

Oh dear, not sure this is allowed!!. Have to be honest I'm not sure where mine is going, at minute it's past shoulder length with red and caramel highlights and 2 inches of silve /grey, but not at th ehairline can get away with it pulled back into pony tail and still look OK. I'm not sure about going short taken bloody ages to get this long .

Oh well I don't have to think about it yet as not back to work for at least another 7 weeks.

I think we might have been unrealistic thinking we could just go cold Turkey on that dye.

Post a pic notactually.

Hi auntpetunia I have added you and TheFarSide to my mumsnet mates, and uploaded two photos. Let me know if you can see them? One is the frumpy halfway bob and the other is my new style - really like it at the moment. Undercuts both sides, long one side. So much better!!!!!

TheFarSide Wed 27-Feb-13 20:11:58

Strangely, I'm going through a super-confident phase at the moment, possibly because my 100% grey regrowth blends so well with my highlights - the overall "brightness" of my hair is making my skin look better than it has for years.

So, I do sympathise notactually - sounds like you feel your hair is not grey enough to make a statement, so I am hereby allowing you your grey/red sideways sweep - but, like Petunia, a pic would be useful because I don't really understand what you mean.

Auntpetunia - I fully understand your dilemma, wanting to keep the long hair but living with bits of obvious regrowth. If you give up now, though, won't you just have to face it again later on? Would more highlights help? Don't give up on me. I need you.

TheFarSide Wed 27-Feb-13 20:14:38

Oooh - cross posted notactually - would be very excited to see your new hair but nothing happens when I hover over your name.

Ok, I think I have to make my profile public, give me half an hour! How weird that we both had totally opposite experiences! However, I am 100 percent with you on the skin tone stuff. I actually love my new hair.

okay, I've made my profile public, and I've made two of you mumsnet mates so you can see the photos.

rubyrubyruby Wed 27-Feb-13 21:56:41

TFS - I'm with you too and determined.

My hair is long and I'm going to keep it that way whilst growing out so I can put it up, piled on top to help cover roots.

It's strange what you said about skin tone. I had my colours done a couple if years ago and she asked if I'd considered going grey. I was horrified!

rubyrubyruby Wed 27-Feb-13 21:58:23

My greys are all at the front and my hair is layered there so hopefully it won't take too long to grow out.

auntpetunia Wed 27-Feb-13 22:05:24

I love the short red bob! Very swish.

I'm sticking with my long pony tail as like Ruby I can pile it up to cover the grey.

TheFarSide Wed 27-Feb-13 22:31:26

WOW notactually - you could never be frumpy, not even with the 'before' haircut. I love both your hairstyles!!!

rubyrubyruby Thu 28-Feb-13 06:53:52

I'm suspicious I may look frumpy either way tbh.

Thank you - I was actually nervous checking in this am, in case you were all reaching for the clairol. Managed to get it to look good this am, and will road test at work...
Ruby, auntpetunia - part of me is sad to have lost all the long hair, and I do think ponytail is a good look. Previous hair dresser recommended the sit and wait approach, but it was bobbed by then and too hard to pin up. So this is an experiment. So far, I quite like it.

JRsandCoffee Sun 03-Mar-13 08:16:38

Hello, can I join back in? I'm 11 months past my last dye job and have gone from long chocolate brown to silver grey bob with annoying light chestnut ends remaining at the front. Many ideas why the bit that seemed to grow out first when I was dying it is the bit that is now growing out slowly?? Must go, milk monster in nappy catastrophe, again!! It is precisely this chaos and lack of time, not to mention the astonishing amount of money I seem able to spend on my beautiful baby that is keeping me from the bottle! Dye that is, wine another matter smile. Well done everyone sticking with it!

flipflopmolly Sun 03-Mar-13 14:45:36

Hi ladies, I just want to post some encouragement.

I am 36, started going grey when I was sixteen. I started dying my grey to my natural black in my early twenties. I eventually stopped dying it while I was pregnant at the age of 28 and have been grey ever since.

My hair is now probably 50%white at the front but only 20%at the back, the rest is black , it's curly and just above my shoulders.

I really like my hair, and since it has been grey I have actually had a couple of strangers tell me my hair is amazing. Now no-one ever said that when my hair was black!

I always wear make up and am careful with the colours of my clothes and I think I look pretty good if I do say so myself!

And if I could go grey in my twenties I know you can do it too, and you'll look fab!

Hi flipflop and jr - nice to see you! Well done on avoiding the dye, and thanks for the encouragement. So far, so good! We should all post a photo in 6 months time!

auntpetunia Sun 03-Mar-13 17:14:25

Wow that's good to hear flipflop. I'm 6 months no dye and apparently my streak at the front is now visible even when hair pulled up.

Have started on the vosene to strip some of the colour so it's not sooo obvious. I saw loads of ladies with lovely grey / silver hair yesterday so feeling positive again.

auntpetunia Thu 07-Mar-13 07:41:08

HELP am wavering! It all seemed such a good idea while I've been off work and not going out much so half assed pony tail was OK, but met with work colleagues and some friends in the last week who all looked horrified at my plan, and said I'd need to do something for work, not to go short as it's taken 3 years to get this long!!! …I don't know what to do now.

After eight months, my white 'highlights' are currently about four inches long. It does look a bit unusual in certain lights but I'm determined to stick it out.

I have a white streak at the front, but it's currently four inches of white then orangey-brown henna the rest of the way down, so I'm experimenting with changing my parting to make it look less silly.

TheFarSide Thu 07-Mar-13 20:21:34

auntpetunia - what do they mean, you need to do something for work? What's wrong with some kind of pony tail for work? Why can't you go a bit shorter if you want to? Sounds like you are facing the usual anti-grey prejudices and they are feeding into your insecurities. People have looked a bit shocked when they've seen me for the first time in ages, but when they've got used to me some of them have actually admitted that lighter hair suits me. You have done so well to get this far - don't let what sounds like some thoughtless comments get to you.

Aunt petunia - I'm so sorry you are wavering; I felt the same when someone said they thought I'd been ill! I think tbh, most women over 30 are hitting the hair dye, and they need to make out that its does the grey actually look against your skin? Could you do a quiff type thing at the front?
I am so pleased to have got this far - I actually binned my leftover henna today .
3beegee - well done!

WinterMymble Sat 09-Mar-13 16:11:38

Wow this thread is brilliant. I am forty, and haven't dyed my hair for ten years - before that spent years dyeing every four weeks, and unsurprisingly developed MASSIVE allergic reaction to dye, so had to stop when I hit 30.

Over the last ten years my hair (mouse) is getting increasing silver strands, but nowhere near enough of them to be gorgeously silver - just enough to look dowdy! And so I have started trying to find safer hair dyes with a view to dyeing again. Then I read this thread and now wonder if I should stick with it.... At least I don't have to grow it out ...

The clincher is I have my first baby! Beautiful six month baby girl. And as others have said I don't want people to think I am her gran!! So what I hope to get from this thread is how to avoid that dread fate.

I have long wavy hair and one thing I just won't be able to do is commit to going to a hairdresser every two weeks. I only went twice a year last year, and that was before the time pressures of being a mother! So I have to find a way of looking chic that doesn't involve a high maintenance cut - ooh any ideas very very welcome!

Hi winter, congratulations on your dd!
Stick with it - do you really want a grey halo every six weeks....
Can't help with the chic thing - I love my cut, but it is going to need maintenance. I think keeping up things like concealer and coloured lip balm are quick ways of looking groomed, get your eyebrows threaded and then just pluck stray hairs to keep the shape?

auntpetunia Thu 14-Mar-13 09:51:12

Well I didn't waiver!! I've just shrugged it off and am still resolutely silver down my parting!

Far ..I think coz I work front office of a busy primary school they have got used to eme looking a certain way. I've perfected a bun/pony combination which with a hair piece bobble thing from Claire's looks smart and only faint traces of silver are showing at the front.

I'm not back in work till after Easter at the earliest so I'll be able to do it in my sleep just need to work on skin and nails! Since hysterectomy 12 weeks ago skins dry and
flaky and nails are short splitting and awful. And as for style and clothes …nothing's fitting and I live in leggings, but at least my hair looks ok

LazyMachine Thu 14-Mar-13 10:10:55

I must admit to more (and more) wobbling. Perhaps it is the 5 week old currently snoring away on my lap? I just feel like I look so drab. And 'mumsy' in the worst way possible.

I'm 100% natural now, all the dye is gone and the biggest issue is that I'm growing it into a longer style at the moment. The silvery grey looked great when it was all super short and funky (& pregnant because I was obviously young enough to be reproducing!!) I think it will look beautiful when it has grown long as my hair is naturally wavy and looks properly done when air-dried, but it's this horrible, ugly, completely boring growing-out phase that is painful. And makes me feel really unattractive and OLD. I'm only 39, not 69, ffs!

Am visiting my lovely and stylish hairdresser this afternoon in hope that she can help me stay grey. But this is a yucky phase, made depressingly worse by lack of sleep and post-pregnancy weight. sad

LazyMachine Thu 14-Mar-13 10:13:26

Sorry that super long post was all me me me. It's great to see
That everyone is holding out through the tough phases! Very inspiring.

Aw lazy - it can feel really bad - i had to go straight to a hairdresser and demand they made me look better!
For me, the relief of not using hairdye/hairdresser every six weeks is immense, and I also feel less frumpy than when i had the odd creeping grey which indicated i needed to dye it.
I think its because everyone dyes their hair until they are late sixties, that we all feel 'old' by going grey any earlier. Could you compromise with a few highlights at the front? (Think that was allowed when we drew up The Rules)

auntpetunia Thu 14-Mar-13 11:12:56

You keep changing The Rules Notactually!

sweetfluffybunnies Thu 14-Mar-13 11:33:33

Hi all, just come across this thread and it's so interesting. I am 47 and for the last 4-5 years I have had my hair coloured (the hairdresser calls it natural glossing) to cover the few but increasing grey strands.

However over the last couple of weeks, whenever i look in the mirror, my face looks washed out and pale. I was wondering if this might be due to my hair colour now being too dark for my skin tone. Do you think this might be the case? I am due for a re-colour this Saturday but am thinking i might cancel and start to embrace my natural silver! I guess I can always get it coloured again if I don't like it, but as someone said above, I'm going to have to face it at some time, and of course grey hair can look fantastic.

auntpetunia Thu 14-Mar-13 12:05:54

I think you've hit the nail on the head sweet, we've all really old ladies with huts of jet black hair and white faces! Maybe speak to your stylist and go for highlights nearer the grey or just cancel and go cold Turkey on the dye like we are. I promise we'll hold your hand if you waiver.

sweetfluffybunnies Thu 14-Mar-13 12:48:01

Thanks aunt I think I will cancel and see how it goes. Both my dad and my grandmother had lovely pure white hair when they were older - hopefully mine will go like that eventually!

(And think of the money I'll save too!)

aunt are highlights not allowed? I do remember me and the farside getting a bit carried away and strident a while back...maybe we should relent and allow a t-section?
sweet - you are totally right, you can always dye it back. Growing it out takes forever! I do think a block of darker hair isn't ageing so much as unflattering. Try embracing grey for a while?

auntpetunia Fri 15-Mar-13 23:50:31

Right if highlights are allowed I may get some !....probably won't actually am liking my badger look. Was wondering about these dye strippers you can get and whether that would be a way to make all my hair the same instead of brown /caramel and brown(v nearly black )with silver! Anyone tried them?

TheFarSide Sat 16-Mar-13 19:19:41

Highlights are good for softening the contrast between grey hair and dyed hair (if your dyed hair is very dark) ... but then they do also have to be grown out.

I am discovering that not all my real hair is white - there seems to be quite a lot of darker grey round the back. I was hoping for a very striking all-white look, but it seems that is not to be. Still, it's an interesting experience waiting to see what's been hidden under the dye all these years.

Fluffy - one of the good things about having lighter hair is that my skin looks better than it has in years.

naturelover Mon 18-Mar-13 13:11:29

Help please! Hand-holding needed.

As my semi-perm colours grows out it is looking really brassy and unflattering to my skin tone. I have quite yellow-toned skin and my natural colour is mousey. So anything warm/orangey looks terrible.

In addition, I am realising that most of my grey is on the temples, and the rest of my hair is dotted with grey. A close friend told me yesterday that she thinks the grey stripes at the temple are more ageing than grey dotted through the hair.

Today I learn about a school reunion and I really want to look good in 3 months' time for that.

Is there some way to tone down the brassy semi-perm colour while the rest grows out? Temple stripes aside, I think my natural colour with some grey is going to be more flattering to my skin tone than this orangey colour.


auntpetunia Mon 18-Mar-13 13:40:18

Hands held here! Now I'm not an expert but from what I've read on these boards you need the "purple shampoo "apparently it's great for toning down the brassiness. Haven't used it my hair is too dark but heard good things from friends with blonde hair.

naturelover Mon 18-Mar-13 14:31:19

Purple shampoo? Yikes! But I'll look into it, thanks for the tip.

FannyFifer Mon 18-Mar-13 14:40:48

I am in my mid 30's and decided to let my hair dye grow out in Jan, but I just can't do it anymore & have bought dye today.

TruthSweet Mon 18-Mar-13 14:46:25

May I join in? I'm 33 & have no dye left after having it all chopped off last week to shoulder length. It's gone from straightish to wavy to smile

My hair is now dark chestnut (mid brown with red undertones & the occasional black hair) with white strands through out - about 90% brown at a guess.

Can I use the purple shampoo or is it best to wait until I have more white?

auntpetunia Mon 18-Mar-13 15:08:12

Right to the best of my knowledge the shampoo is not purple but it's in home bargain and boots called purple shampoo!

Fanyfifer don't do it...don't dye it, you've done so well, you'll have to go through the growing out phase all over again. Can you bear that. Can you get it cut to give you a lift, that's my plan (when I can sit in a hairdresser's backwash).

HilaryM Mon 18-Mar-13 15:30:18

Oh I like this thread. Am 36 and have v few white hairs (5-10%) so have never dyed it, and I always wanted to go grey naturally. I will be salt and pepper I think, but that's ok.

FannyFifer Mon 18-Mar-13 15:36:55

I have very dark hair with prob 30% grey, it looks really awful, white wiry bits that won't stay straight is not a good look.
It's just seriously making me look like I can't be bothered making an effort anymore.

Badvoc Mon 18-Mar-13 15:41:48

Ooh...I am trying to decide too.
Have been quite ill recently and last week I was starting to look a bit judi dench smile
My natural colour was very dark brown. Got my first grey hairs at 17 and have been dyeing it since.
Am so tempted but am only 40.
That's too young isn't it?
And I would have that whole alistair darling thing going on as I have black eyebrows and eyelashes....

Hey badvoc - i am 40 in July, I am much happier with about half grey, than when I had greying bits peeking out every six weeks. Try? Then you can always dye it back?

Badvoc Mon 18-Mar-13 17:43:48

Oohhhh...I don't know!
My mil actually said she liked it last week!
Thing is I am very would be mostly grey with a hint of brown.
Although I am quite pale...
I have a wedding to go to in july and I won't go grey before then!
Might do after though....

naturelover Mon 18-Mar-13 17:58:24

Before I give in and resort to highlights I'm going to try one of those purple shampoos to try and remove the brassiness from the coloured bits.

Am also considering Colour B4 - anyone tried this?

Badvoc Mon 18-Mar-13 18:01:33

Purple shampoo?
What's that for!?

TheFarSide Mon 18-Mar-13 18:50:42

To those struggling with making a decision, I think it does depend on age and amount of grey. I'm 50 now, which doesn't feel too old to be grey, but I would have struggled with the idea at under 40. As for amount of grey, if you only have a few grey hairs then dyeing is not such a big deal ... but for me, now more than 90% grey, the regrowth was very obvious.

WildThong Mon 18-Mar-13 18:59:31

Is this the purple shampoo

auntpetunia Mon 18-Mar-13 19:08:39

Yep that's the one apparently it's good to take away the brassiness!

Badvoc Mon 18-Mar-13 20:20:23

I am very grey tbh.
Not sure what % but must be over 80%.
Even buying home colours are costing me a fortune as I have to do it really every 4 weeks and I could never afford salon prices that often.

TheFarSide Mon 18-Mar-13 20:24:15

Exactly, Badvoc - home dyeing is a pain and still expensive. Re the grey hair/dark eyebrows thing - I actually dye my eyelashes and eyebrows to give my ageing face some definition, and I think the contrast with my white hair looks quite funky.

Badvoc Mon 18-Mar-13 20:30:06

Ooooooooooh I really don't know what to do now....argh.
I am really bad at home dyeing too sad it never looks great tbh.
My skin is pretty good for 40 and I am naturally pale....

Hey badvoc if you do nothing, you can always do something. Once you've done it though, you have to go through the whole growing it out again, or just keep going forever.
I'm actually (now I've got loads of grey, and not so much colour) so chilled about it. Its other people who are weird _ shop assistant practically begging me not to, as it would be soooo ageing apparently. Or, maybe I'll just look my age?

PessimisticMissPiggy Sun 24-Mar-13 13:44:24

How's everyone doing on the hair front?

Fab41 Sun 24-Mar-13 13:51:38

Not sure if this counts as an epic fail, still re-assessing what to do next... My hair was shoulder length after many years of growing out a short crop. I had been home dying red/auburn onto naturally dark hair but having to redo it every 3 weeks so stopped dying it.

I decided to speed the growing out process up by going back to a crop with long fringe, and having a few highlights at the front to blend it all in. But my second lot of highlights last week changed my hair from a ginger coppery colour to a horrible blonde. I hated it, so have applied a pillarbox red temporary colour.

So now I have bright red highlights which I love, and a pinkish wash through the rest. Hmm. Not sure what to do now. I go to local hairdressing college so it is only £20 for highlights and cut, so not too upset. Ad the red is great, but not really what I wanted to do.... Help!!

CeeceeBloomingdale Sun 24-Mar-13 14:11:10

I've just touched up the roots this morning but I'm doing less every time, literally the front hairline and parting. As I'm going from (almost) black to (almost) white I have to do it gradually. I'm growing the underneath out first and soon I'm going to start lightening the top

Welovegrapes Sun 24-Mar-13 14:13:02

What a great thread - I am inspired!! Definitely going to consider this in due course.

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Mar-13 14:26:36

I lost this thread and need your support this week!

Hairdressers appointment on Tues.

....... just going to catch up on thread smile

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Mar-13 14:33:18

I'm definitely keeping my dark eyebrows.
All the images I have looked at I think the grey looks better with a more defined brow.

Rubyrubyruby - I have a photo on my profile now, which you can see if I add you to my mumsnet mates. Can do that tomorrow?
Fab - erm......[Grin]
Welcome grapes and hi cece.
Yes yes to defined brows.

rubyrubyruby Sun 24-Mar-13 20:04:22

Thanks notactually smile

Added you - the first photo is horrible, taken by small ds in an hotel, and was my boring toni and guy bob, to get most of the length gone. The second is really unflattering, but I love the hair - undercuts to make it lie flat and gets the grey much more of a choice iyswim.
Just couldn't stand the greying long red hair much longer!

TheFarSide Sun 24-Mar-13 23:07:49

I've booked a haircut for Wednesday when I plan to lose 3 or 4 inches off my shoulder length hair. This will get rid of the hair with the heaviest build up of dye.

At this rate, though, it's going to be a year before all the dye and highlights have gone, so I'm feeling a bit sad

Have an undercut! It'll be like a mumsnet scarf, but cooler.

ouryve Mon 25-Mar-13 12:36:13

I stayed greying for a while, as it was lovely silver glints on my dark hair and quite striking. It reached a point where it just started to look ageing without looking good, though, so I'm going through a red phase to get me through it. I keep my hair cropped very short, so once the roots look a bit more promising, I'm going to grow it out, again.

rubyrubyruby Tue 26-Mar-13 05:23:01

Thanks not actuallyme - you look great! I'm a lot older than you.

I've been getting vibes from DH that he's not ready for a grey wife yet. He hasn't actually said but is making suggestions whereas he normally leaves it up to me. I'm going to see what ideas my hairdresser comes up with today as I don't want to go back to complete cover-up so perhaps a combination of low/hi lites? I'm going for a restyle though.

rubyrubyruby Tue 26-Mar-13 05:48:22

<<hangs head in shame>>

Aw, ruby, don't feel bad! See what the hairdresser says?
I'm now immune to comments - shop assistant practically begging me to reassure her I'd dye it back, friend worried about it, etc etc - poor dh has not been canvassed for opinion!
I'm forty this year. Figure if I go grey now, with a decent haircut, it'll be easier to stay grey later. It'll be a 'look' ...

rubyrubyruby Tue 26-Mar-13 22:14:45

I have not forsaken you grin
My problem is that I'm too grey I think but only around the front.

I had hi and low lights and a good cut. The idea is to work with it.