Mumsnet Talk

Dd is a flower girl nd DS is pageboy. For many reasons I decided not to be bridesmaid and now regretting it as can't get my head round what to wear.

I am 40, size 14, 5'11 but not much of a waist, small boobs, column shape really and have blonde hair, pale skin

Bridesmaids are wearing claret which doesn't suit me.

I have beans searching the web but would love some help if anyone is up for it.

Would this Coast dress suit you? It's quite good at nipping it at the waist, the neckline is better suited to a small chest, and the colour would look great next to the claret bridal party. If you enter promo code 'apology20' it costs £108

Phase Eight Could be flattering...but you need to try it on

go to john lewis or somewhere.

dont reject more glittery evening type numbers for a winter wedding

I wouldn't wear it, but maybe you would!

I like the green Coast dress.

Amblin - I was trying to find something weddingy, do you think glittery evening is ok?

I love this...go and try it on

i think - when and where is it?

I would also highly recommend a corset for giving you a waist. I had twins and still don't have much waist (4 years on). It really works miracles. Buy it and then go dress trying-on.

i like the green coast one a lot too -a nd SLEEVES

with red shoes
www.johnlewis.com/370925/Product.aspx

I don't get it. Are you a guest at the wedding, as opposed to having a "role"? You decided not to be a bridesmaid but you want to wear the same colour as them...I am lost

Thanks MM and all suggestions Will purchase a corset and take myself off to JL for trying on session.

I bought this last week but length was wrong in me

Amblin wedding in January- church and hotel

its a nice style though.
I would think carefully about what coat you get as that is key for the ceremony.

then something eveningy afterwards - if its late on in the day

Yes I am a guest at the wedding.
I don't want to wear the same colour as the bridesmaids as I chose not to join in. She was fine with this btw- no issues about that.

I just can't find a dress I like for a winter wedding as all very glitzy at the moment and felt too Christmassy

think smart coat. then you could always hav LBD for the dinner.

phase eight have some smart coatsin reduced

Love the green coast dress

You reckon red shoes with it? I thought red and green should not be seen......

I about to order coast dress just in case I can't find it to try on in shops

The coast dress looks lovely.

This will give you a waist.
fab dress with sleeves, lovely vintage feel with these, this and this. Or, not vintagey at all this, these and this.

Notmarlene- that's genius, you are a genius.
I haven't seen that make before but will try on tomorrow. Am totally inspired now, thanks all for the fab ideas.

Play to your your boyish figure? similar too short?

Very comfortable, you'd actually be able to eat. Isn't so much fun in a corset.

x posts!

Why didn't you want to be a bridesmaid?

Because bridesmaids always look shit ?

Like the blue but I think on a 14 might look a bit tenty

It might be tenty but then the OP is very tall - I suspect the size she is at a 14 could well be proportionally like a 10 would be on shortarsed old me.

Do theoretically prefer the dress I got all carried away about though.

Good job she's not the one getting married then...

Love notmarlene's one with the modern accessories. Those Martin Clay shoes are gorgeous (if pricey!).

True about eating in a corset though. And you can't wear it longer than 8 hours. But it does nip the waist...pros and cons

love this

Love the red

Me too it looks very high end for teh price.

Red good if it suits OPs colouring and shes happy to wear long. Still like the Coast dress and notmarlenes first one best. That colour is lovely and rich and easy to wear as well as being on trend.

That adriana one looks like middle aged day at the races

Noddy love the red but it is too much like the bridesmaids dresses unfortunately. I am thinking I might get that for another wedding we have got between Xmas and new year
Which Adriana did you mean - the first or the second?
On my way to JL now so will let you know

Never regret refusing to be a bridesmaid when you are 40.

Sound move.
Even if you wore any old dress!

That first turquoise one with all the lady gaga bits. terribly mother of the bride at the races

Yeah, it is rather noddy. No denying it

But, the OP is wanting a waist and it would give her one what with the built in corseting and deceptive detailing...

Still love the second one though - on a model here. Damned good dress.

Yes that is lovely.

Ok updates:
John Lewis didn't have ANY of the dresses in stock that were linked. I tried a few on but none that inspired me although was in a rush.

Have ordered the coast dress and the nice Adriana dress so will see what they are like when I try them on.

Off to peruse French connection and Mango sites now

Urhg, that must have been annoying! Will you keep up posted?

I certainly will!
Karen Millen have 20% off
What do we think of
this but might make hips look huge?
another karen Millen

think the sleeves would annoy me on this one although like it on model

Bump for evening crowd to slag off comment on new dresses

Like the sleeves on no.3 - why annoying?

Don't like K Millen ones - a bit too 'look at me', but that is my personal taste...maybe you like people looking at you .

Those are lovely, Wine, but if it's a January wedding, what will you wear over the top of it? Bearing in mind that churches can often be cold, and there's usually a bit of hanging around outside while photos are taken.

Well, apart from anything else they all look like a nightmare to accessorize. The only one of hers I like on the HoF site is this but you'd really have to embrace the pear. Actually, [[ this is great]] but cream so no good.

Rather like this, the vintage feel appeals. Red shoes, silver bag.

this?

What about this, with suggested accessories?

Good point about what to wear over the top and the accessorising.
BIWI I quite like it but not sure bout the suggested accessories. Black seems. Bit harsh with it.

Notmarlene- not sure about the Eliza. Bit too Kirstie Allsopp for me
Like the pied a terre.

Going to a posh boutique type department store in the morning

Thanks to the help so far
I have two weeks to go and have decided on the coast dress
which I love

I have two pairs of shoes
Aldo
not very weddingy

coat I got this just for the church service and walking to the reception as its in a village and close together

I this fascinator

Just feel the accessories might flatten the dress needs something to wow it and no idea about jewelry.

Please help as am panicking slightly now

Bump for some advice

Ok, I like both shoes and the coat could work.

I do not like the fascinator. I would wear this instead.

Then I would get some 60s- style earrings like this and leave it at that.

Have you chosen a bag?

I'm not keen on the facinator either TBH, the rest is great though. Prefer tje snake shoes for with the dress, I think. That said the peeptoes and this would be fab.

this in the brown or cream would be good with either shoes. Tethers green pill box is good to but it's a bit of a risk, impossible to know if the two green will match / compliment each other.

Am also interested to hear if you've chosen a bag!

oh, and yy to just earrings.

I bought fascinator in a panic in case I couldn't find anything so completely agree. It's going back - no worries on that score. I was even thinking when buying - s&b won't like this!!

I really like tethers pill box hat but worried the green wouldn't match.

I haven't got to a bag yet- what would you go for?
I'm going with the snake shoes I think

Notmarlene- I also bought the Adriana second dress you linked to which I wore to an evening do and got loads of compliments so thank you for the link

Tethers I've ordered the green hat as they take returns so if colour not quite right it can go back

Had a whiz round John lewis but wasn't inspired for bags. Do I match to dress, shoes or hat, depending on which hat I end up with