4 letter words tattooed across your fingers(82 Posts)
Yes or no?
My 20 year old daughter has just had it done, I am very very very about it.
I am not anti tattoos, she has a few others but across your fingers, a letter on each?
Surely there are times when you just need to cover up your tattoos, so is collar and cuff a golden tattoo rule? Or should it be?
I love good tattoos, which are works of art. Words are not art (not visual art, anyway). Names of children or lovers are not art. Words on fingers are just awful and while I am tattooed myself, I would pass immediate judgement on anyone with knuckle tattoos, and it wouldn't be a good judgement.
Its not even like she is heavily tattooed, so has that sort of 'look' sigh
Is it permanent or the ones that come off after a few years?
Our undertaker had Love and Hate on his. Definately added a bit of 'je ne sais pas' to my dad's funeral, although he would have hooted if he'd seen it (said undertaker also had a tear in the seat of his trousers, god knows where the Co Op dug him up from.
Maybe there will be a Mumsnet trend of AIBU on the knuckles...
I have a heart on my ring finger, and quite a few others that can be covered up, but I'd be sad too if I were you. Unless she is thinking of a career as a tattoo artist there's not really a lot of jobs where she doesn't run the risk of being 'judged' at say interview stage for having knuckle tattoos.
It seems (in my v humble opinion anyway) that the new trend seems to be for visible tattoos, 10 years ago even tattoo apprentices had non visible tattoos done first then hands, necks etc when they were more established.
I'm with Annie - words on fingers are horrible. Totally different to good artwork (which can be amazing/a thing of true beauty).
Also - tattoos on hands/necks/faces just shouldn't be done. You end up barred from so many jobs.
Sorry "I'd be sad if I were you" sounds a bit mean, didn't mean it like that.
Think it means stay true to yourself, maybe? Dont know, its permanent though, and not even been done to the best standard
God no! I don't mind tattoos but those remind me of, as someone said, the old love and hate and ACAB ones. I'd've gutted if one of my children did this.
It can't possibly be as bad as any of these...
Well, there's always laser removal if she saves up for it.
Sorry OP. It sucks, but she's done it and will have to deal
So I myself, am not being over the top in feeling a bit upset about this?
I think tattoos on face, neck and hands look dreadful (with the possible exception of tattooed wedding rings or tiny ones which can be hidden under a ring).
And I think it may be a disadvantage in life (no equality laws protect you on being rejected because of appearance/suitability on this one). Even the Armed Forces are iffy about highly visible tattoos.
So I can see why you are sad about this, OP, but as you know there is nothing you can do. Would [chocolate] or help?
No, awful, just awful.
You are not being over the top being upset about it.
I would be devastated in one of my perfect children did this to themselves. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
I'd be very concerned about her work prospects. What does she do?
If she has a job in arts for example then it probably isn't such a big deal but if its going to be a real barrier to work I'd be very that she would be so stupid.
Sorry, I am probably not making you feel any better.
Are they small? Hopefully she will come to her senses and it won't be too difficult to get them removed.
I adore (good) tattoos but I'd be devastated if one of my kids did this. IMO you should keep tats away from public skin until you've made a million in your chosen career - then you can do what you want because you're judged on your talent rather than your appearance.
What a silly girl! I'd be researching tattoo removal immediately.
I am prepared to be flamed over this, but I associate the tattooed words across the fingers thing as a really unclassy and (whispers) chavvy thing to do. I admit that it makes me sound very judgemental. And, just words is rather boring anyway.
I am not a fan of tattoos, but I love the one a work colleague has on the inside of her wrist, and she can cover it up if she needs to.
She is un-employed....
I even said to her, have it stencilled on, and live with it for a while. I even said it would look nice up the inside of her lower arm, but she wouldnt have it.
I have one tattoo, its 25 years old, and it really doesn't look great now, very smudged. I dont regret it, but know how people change over the years.
I work in an office. I know that if someone came in for an interview with words tattooed across their fingers it will count against them (given that all things equal). And, they wouldn't even get a look in in a customer facing role, not in the kind of business I am in. Sorry.
I don't agree with that, but that is how the modern world works.
www.tattooset.com/images/tattoo/2012/06/04/4178-knuckles-stay-true_thumb.jpg like this but shaded pink
Looking for a positive slant on it here....at least she didn't get ARSE and FACE tattooed.
She has seriously damaged her chances of work.
Rightly or wrongly, that's the sort of tattoo that gives a lot of people the worst impression!
The whole 'love hate' across your knuckles look.
People WILL judge. It may even affect her employment prospects. Unfair? Perhaps. Untrue? No.
* as in the words ARSE and FACE, not her actual arse and face IYSWIM
...although that would be pretty bad too..
I've just clicked your link.
This is a bad move if she ever wants a job! People make judgements on the type of person you are based on stuff like that.
They shouldn't. But they do. And there's no point pretending otherwise.
I have tattoos, but I would never have ones that couldn't be hidden if I wished.
If it were my child I would be upset too op. She could have them removed at a later date though, they must be fairly small.
Not impressed with the tattooist
A lot won't do hands or faces as still more would say no to a not so tattooed personas your daughter seems to be.
I know cos been trying to find someone to do a cross on my ring finger for ages and all the decent established places around here are no hands or faces rules
I was thinking they were going to be on the sides of her fingers so they are hidden at times IYKWIM?
I think rhianna has one like I'm describing.
V surprised at a 20 year old going for such an old fashioned design.
Its worse, it was done at a house
Crikey, that's a VERY obvious and unhideable tattoo (the on in the link). She really has scuppered her job chances a lot in today's competitive job market
The best I can suggest is that you see it as her life and she will soon learn (the hard way) that what she's done is going to be detrimental, but it's detrimental to her life. Her actions, her consequences.
Am I the only one that thinks that AIBU across the knuckles would be an excellent precursor to punching someone in mush?. I have never punched someone in the mush before the flaming starts
You can buy tattoo concealer now that she can use for when she is at work .
DH is a senior government official. Lots of his mates have hidden tattoos that can be seen at the gym but are not visible when they wear work clothes. Visible tattoos and any kind of facial stuff (nose rings, piercings etc) are actively discouraged and, well, applicants with them won't get the job.
On the other hand, if your daughter is into something creative, I think tattoos are pretty mandatory these days. Start a plastic surgery fund for her but let her enjoy the tattoo for a few years until she asks you how she can get them removed.
Unless you're going to say you're called Courtney and your daughter is Frances
I would be mad if I was you.
Nothing much to be done now. She'd have to live with it now, or pay to have it removed later.
I'm covered in ink but I still wouldn't get my knuckles tattooed.
I don't think that tattooed knuckles is chavvy, given that I have friends with it done but they are head to toe in tattoos and either work as tattoo artists, graphic artists, textile designers etc.
So basically, so long as you're working for yourself it isn't an issue.
I'd be livid with her.
When you say tattoos across the knuckle i imagine big hairy men with mustaches and criminal records.
I have 15 tattoos (i think) but all of them can be covered.
Dermablend is a great makeup for covering tattoos on a day to day basis.
I can't believe the tattooist did it given that she has had no other work done. What an arse.
What does she want to do with herself? How can she make this work for her?
done at someone's house?
Is this person a professional?
Was the equipment sterile?
Your daughter has been very foolish.
Start a plastic surgery fund FOR her? FOR her?
Surely you mean tell her to start a plastic surgery fund herself, eh?
I love tattoo's and have some myself.
I think that your dd will regret this in a couple of years to be honest.
All the reputable tattooists round here will not do any work above collar or below cuffs unless it's integral to a big piece.
The lady who pierced me had "baby" across the fingers of her right hand and "doll" across the fingers of her left. It actually looked pretty and suited her - but she was heavily tattooed and pierced, so was able to pull it off.
I'd be really really upset with my dd in your situation, so you are not being unreasonable in your reaction.
And she got it done at someone's house? This, I would go mad with.
Was this person a professional? Were needles sterile? She's put herself at totally unnecessary risk health wise here, and she really is old enough to know better.
Poor you x
The tattoo artist who did my recent work says she's turned away a few people who asked for visible tattoos. I wish there were more artists with her ethics.
I don't get 'fashion' tattoos anyway. Fashion changes. Tattoos don't. This current trend for hand/foot tattoos has me baffled.
Well, it isn't ideal and I think the thoughts and reactions of other Mumsnetters here demonstrates that your daughter will face negative stereotyping in her life from the majority of people that she meets.
How does your DD feel about the tattoo? Does she love it, or is she regretting it?
I work in an art and design environment and this tattoo on the link that you gave wouldn't look out of place. Yes, it's difficult to hide, but I suppose it depends upon her social circle. If she wanted to get a very straight-laced job, then yes, I can foresee problems. If she was to work in a fashion or design environment, or somewhere not so concerned with conventional appearances, then it would be less of an issue. Also, think about whether she belongs to a subculture. This tattoo is very retro, vintage; think Amy Winehouse and the recent resurgence in 1950s fashions.
I'm trying to put a positive angle on this because it's a real shame for you to feel the way that you do. The tattoo is very on show, but if he has the confidence to carry it and fits into a subculture, then it's not necessarily the disaster that it's currently coming across as, IMO.
Was about to post that no reputable tattooist would do it unless she was already heavily tattooed elsewhere, then I saw she had it at a house
I'm not much older then her but think she will soon live to regret it.
No get a job a save up!
I was going to send her a text, making out I believed she gone for the stencil instead saying -
I am so glad you changed your mind and listened to advise from others for a change, imagine if you had had it dont with permanent ink, the mess she has made you would have to now live with forever, at least it will wash off, well done, very proud of you for making a grown up decision.
Didnt send it
She has a friend coming down to stay with her in a few weeks, he is going to do her a full sleeve.
Her girlfriend even phoned last minute, to say she thought it was a bad idea and maybe not to have it done!
Your daughter needs a reality check.
I have several tattoos myself and plan more in the future but I have lived with them for quite some time now. I have no problem with tattoos on the knuckles on a male or female, however this is someone that is already heavily tattooed and has lived with them for several years. One of my best girlfriends is a tattoo artist and she has this done, but it's fitting for her line of work. Hands, feet and heads are only things that she will do on other people that are already tattooed and have lived with them for quite some time.
I am shocked that you say that this is a first tattoo. She has made a choice that she has to live with. Laser removal is not an 'easy' option either, I have a girlfriend lasering off a very large arm tattoo and she says it is the most painful thing she has ever had done, not to mention the horrid smell of burning flesh whilst getting it done.
I have a small but vivid scar on my upper arm which I can hide with Dermablend. Your DD might like to try it on her fingers for certain social or work events. I loathe tattoos but each to their own.
I love tattoos, even full sleeves, and i have a large backpiece myself. But the link you posted as an example is something I would never do and be furious if any child had done. There's just no way to hide it with clothing. I think she will regret it later on and her employment prospects will suffer. Unless she wants to commit to putting tattoo cover up on every day before she goes to work.
What a silly silly girl
I would second what 4going has said. Lasering hurts like the blazes and is not to be done lightly. I've never known agony like it and I've birthed two children with only G&A.
she will regret that. How will it lookwhen she wants to wear a lovely ring?
But at least it was not LOVE and HATE in homemade blue ink from prison.
I am not a fan of tattoos at all, generally speaking, but I occasionally see a woman with something stunning/classy that I think she will be able to carry off for life without looking like a ropey old fishwife. I quite like the tiny ones between thumb and upper wrist, or the dinky ones on the back of the wrist, or on the ankle. They are like the modern day beauty spot. but beyond that I think the collar and cuffs rule is most advisable.
I saw a young girl with tattoos all down her thighs and her calves the other day, and I was for her. She didn't have the greatest/slimmest legs which means once she's put on baby weight she will be a bit dumpy and her legs will need all the help they can get in later life. Having her calves heavily tattooed will not help, and will make it impossible for her to ever be taken seriously in a business suit or a smart dress when she is older.
I have 2 tattoos which I have had done in my 30s. Took me years to work up to getting them done as I wanted to be sure I wanted could live with them forever. Your daughter is young so I would be worried she might regret it in years to come.
I agree that tattoos should be meaningful to the individual - be them art or script. I have 3 small teal stars on inside of my wrist which represent my DH and 3 children. They are easily covered by a watch or cuff should I not want them on show. The other is a decorative letter on my hip bone that's personal to husband and I.
I knew when I got them done that not everyone would like. It's very much a personal thing. I work in the criminal Justice System (yes those with tattoos can have successful careers) and I see criminals with badly done highly visible tattoos and of course others do judge.
The other day I saw a young girl with what looked like a seamed stocking tattoo down each leg. At the bottom of each leg was the word "undead". At 20ish it probably looks "cool". At 45 she will look ridiculous.
A full sleeve takes weeks and weeks to do - you can't (and shouldn't) have it done all at once.
Does she listen to you at all? Because her friends sound shit
Oh lord, sorry that is horrible, my friends daughter has had `bad bitch` tattooed on in the inside of her lip, my friend is so upset but I suppose its not too obvious.
I second what 'DowagersHump' said. Does your daughter listen to you at all?
Her friends seem a bad influence.
I saw a picture of a couple whose hands were tattoo'd so that when they interlocked their fingers, it spelled SOULMATE.
WHich meant that the girl had SUMT on her hand, and the lad had OLAE
I must admit that when I first read the title, I thought you meant she had F-U-C-K tatooed on her fingers
I second what Dowagers said. My brother recently had his sleeve finished off - it's taken at least 3 sessions.
She has acted ridiculously.
Gosh that's awful. I would be devastated.
What does she want to do for a career? If it isn't public facing she might get away with it, but job interviews are still going to be tough.
You really really need to stop her getting the sleeve done until she has grown up a bit. Why has she suddenly gone tattoo crazy?
I Personally don't like it out of taste, but irrelavant to that I think tattoos on hands are silly as you can't hide them ever. And although I think it shouldn't matter for jobs, it does and can hold you back.
My sister has 'can't stop' tattooed on her knuckles- red hot chilli pepper fan. I was very shocked when I saw it as she did it in secret do nobody could talk her out of it. My sister has never fitted in with the norm and she is more an edgy style dresser e.g rhianna . I'm use to them now though and don't notice them the same but I am noticing a lot more girls with them now. My sister is a manager quite high up but I'm retail where her edge is seen as fashionably and suits her profession. I think she is cool
She is a hairdresser, think it would have to be a pretty trendy salon that would take her on now.
She knew I was against it, but I seem to have been the first person she sent photos of it to.
I haven't replied, this was Monday. I think her life is going to be pulled by lots of very bad choices
The next will be a sperm donor offer over BBM, which she has already had 3 of
It could still be worse - I used to work in an off licence and one of the regulars had 'SPAM' tattoos on each hand
I think a trendy hair salon would be fine about it, my local Toni and Guy (as trendy as you get round here) seems like all the staff are tattoo'd, pierced and have hair like Rhianna!!
Colourists seem to be into tattos, my DH has tats but hates them now.
People think he's been to prison. We play chess and listen to radio 4, no one would imagine that when they see the tats on his arms.
It's not really the image he wants to project, his bosses have them but wear long sleeve shirt all year at work so no one sees them.
She's going to have a full sleeve
I don't have any advice as I don't have teenage or adult daughters but I think that's not a very smart choice for a 19year old. I think my parents would of DIED if I did that. Very career limiting.
I used to go to TUSK salon in London Camden to get my hair coloured. They certainly had hairdressers who were heavily tattooed and punkish looking! I don't live in London anymore and in the current town where I live, there is one salon with fairly unconventional looking hairdressers but that's the only one I know of in the city centre. There aren't that many here. The Toni & Guy near me doesn't have hairdressers looking like that at all. In some of the cities I've lived in, I have never met hairdressers like that - and I do tend to shop around and try different places and stylists. In Leeds for instance I can imagine some salon would have hairdressers like that. I think it all depends on where you live. Or maybe your daughter would be willing to relocate to a city where there is a salon where she'd fit into image-wise.
Maybe you could get FACE PALM tattooed across yours?
Im all for tattoos in general, childrens names, artwork........but letters on fingers imo just look horrible, im not surprised you were upset op-lets hope she doesn't regret them being so young
I think this thread is going to be very negative for you OP
It's done now and there is bugger all you can do. She will survive.
My dd has a MASSIVE tattoo on the top half of her back. I HATE it so I can relate to you feeling . I wish they'd find some less permanent ways of expressing themselves/articulating their feelings than scrawling all over themselves. Sorry if this sounds anti-tattoo but I don't like them on anyone. She can always have them lasered off in the future if she gets fed up of them though. The size of my dd's one would probably require a re-mortgage to fund!
she is an adult. She might regret it. Or. She might not. what type of thing does she want to do as a career? It is not so blanket as to say her job prospects are scuppered. Well, maybe if she wants to be a lawyer, or front facing customer service. But there are lots of professional routes where this would not be a problem. LOTS. I myself work in a professional environment with very professional colleagues from lots of different agencies who do AMAZING work, and some of those people have facial piercings, neck tattoos, lots of other tattoos, have 'unique' clothing styles. In some ways it actually helps to break down barriers working with some people, those people who for some reason are already alienated themselves and who automatically have prejudice against certain professions due to their own negative experiences, or others they know have. It helps them to engage with people who are not 'suits'.
She has not had Fuck You! written on them. So, while it is not ideal, it is not necessarily going to keep her on the unemployment list if she does not want it to.
Just saw that she is a hairdresser. I would say that in most of the 'trendy' salons around here, she would fit in well. Edgy is good in lots of fashion environments these days. Unless she has desires to work with old women and blue rinses then she might struggle.
I have visions of her being a cool hair stylist to the stars now they most certainly would not hold their own styles back and be 'boring'.
I think tattoos like that look awful but that is my opinion and not everyone would agree with me.
As a recruiter I would see past the tattoo and it wouldn't negatively influence my decision. However there is no denying that a lot of employers will not like it and I think it was not the most sensible thing to do when jobs are in short supply.
Oh right, didn't realise she was a hairdresser! I take back what I said, my hairdresser has something similar across her fingers.
I don't like them, least of all neck and hands. But it wouldn't stop me hiring her. My best manager has an eyebrow ring , I work for a blue chip.
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