My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

For beauty and fashion style advice, join in our Style forum chat.

Style & Beauty

Grey hair - when to stop colouring!

24 replies

cariadpinc · 09/04/2010 11:48

I am 44 and have dark brown hair - have noticed grey hairs for a few years but have religiously gone to the hairdressers every 5/6 weeks to cover them up (have been every rainbow colour possible from about 16!) But am now going down the organic/mineral/natural road and try to keep as many chemicals out of my life as possible (see my problem!)
Has anyone out there gone for it and let themselves go grey? Men are able to do it so easily but have no 40 something role models to follow!!!! I love looking different so am not worried about following trends but have so many questions!
Will I look old? (obviously)
How do I do it? (there is a 5cm grey growth in my hairline at the moment - do I just let that grow down or will the colour gradually wash from other parts?)
Would love to have some advice!
Thanks x

OP posts:
Report
SethStarkaddersMum · 09/04/2010 12:01

I don't colour mine. For me it is an expression of feminism because I don't see why I should be pressured into making myself look any younger than I am - I am 38 and this is what 38 looks like and there's nothing wrong with that. I am naturally sort of mid-brown/mousy and have a bit of grey, more at the front.
When I've talked about this with other women we've agreed that:
-some people look extremely chic with grey hair and it can be a very flattering colour
-if you want to look smart you have to work harder and be more groomed than if your hair's all the same colour
-short haircuts tend to work best

I am frankly not very good at clothes so you shouldn't actually listen to me on style advice, but I do think there is a certain look (best exemplified by various New Labour women!) where women in their 40s dye their hair an unflattering reddish shade and it doesn't make them look younger, it just make them look a bit desperate. Grey hair says 'I am who I am' and I think that is much cooler.

Report
SethStarkaddersMum · 09/04/2010 12:03

to answer your practical question btw - if you wanted to do it gradually then why not dye it with some fairly weak herbal dye in a slightly lighter shade than your own so that it fades with washing and you don't get such a sharp line between dyed and not dyed.

Report
birdsandblossoms · 09/04/2010 12:03

i just cant see the day when i will let myself go Grey . Maybe if i just woke up one morning and it was a nice Grey but still long but thats not going to happen unless i get a huge shock which i sincerely hope i dont!. I am 46 nearly 47

Report
cariadpinc · 09/04/2010 12:07

Now that would be idea birds and blossoms! Then if it did make me look too old I could just get down to the hairdressers quick!
In the meantime I could try a herbal!

OP posts:
Report
PippiL · 09/04/2010 12:07

I can see both sides of the argument for colouring or not colouring hair.

I love seeing people with really fab coloured hair, who have the balls (sorry not very feminist word!) to go for something different that looks just wow.

And I also love the chic and short grey hair look.

I would love to feel that when I go white (which I will do as I have auburn hair and at 32 I already have a lot of white hairs there) I have the confidence to leave it as it is and be proud.

On the other hand I worry I will look like Pauline Fowler out of Eastenders and hate that thought.

Report
rubyrubyruby · 09/04/2010 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nefertiti · 09/04/2010 12:14

You can use henna and to get the brown colour boil dark brown dry onion skin and u can add tea as well to have nice redish brown colour
thier is 2 kinds of henna(orange brown)red henna and black henna (too black)
with red one only u can play with the colours by adding some leaves,spices,whatever.and don't forget to add lemon juice as it work like amonia to make the colour work.
And in both henna u can add yogurt ,egg or hair's oil to do hair musk at the same time

Report
SethStarkaddersMum · 09/04/2010 12:35

Nefertiti, are you the real Nefertiti, posting from beyond the grave? Because I bet she would have known all that stuff about henna too!

Report
cariadpinc · 09/04/2010 12:49

Last time I used henna I think I was about 18 going through my punk/goth/metal stage (I was confused - I liked it all so couldn't quite commit to one!) Wouldn't mind having a go at it again - my only problem is my hairdresser, have built up a good relationship with her over the years and don't want to hurt her feelings - will be taking a nice monthly slice out of her earnings won't I?

OP posts:
Report
deaddei · 09/04/2010 18:43

I am 50 next month and have dark brown hair which I have coloured with Aveda which is wonderful. Very shiny, no flat matte comour.
I have slight grey round temples, and odd hairs and colour every 6 weeks.
I think a fab cut and well groomed grey hair looks amazing, but sadly lots of women I see have that nondescript mumsy (Pauline Fowler in a cardi!) look which I don't want to have.
I feel vibrant and more confident at 50 than ever before- I certainly don't look it.
I think each to their own- my hair is a chin length bob, which I feel is kinder to my face than the short crop I used to have.

Report
fridayschild · 09/04/2010 18:55

I'm going grey. I always thought I was vain enough to dye it and indeed I am vain, but now I have the DCs I am time poor! My hairdresser keeps talking me out of it - he has pointed out I would spend hours and hours and hundreds of pounds in his salon getting my roots done all the time - and he says it suits my changing colouring. Which maybe a compliment, but equally it is possible that he thinks grey hair is better against exhausted-working-mum-skin as a look than dark brown. Apparently I am lucky that my grey hairs are as straight as the rest of my hair.

I think looking like it is time to have your hair dyed again is the least flattering look of all.

Report
BelleDameSansMerci · 09/04/2010 19:00

I'm 44 and, underneath the colour, about 60% grey. I will never, ever, ever let myself go completely grey... Even when I'm an eccentric old bat, it will be coloured white and will not be grey!

Report
deaddei · 09/04/2010 19:08

I'd love pure white, slightly punky hair actually.

Report
fishie · 09/04/2010 19:14

i have been dying my hair since i was 12. been pretty grey since early 30s, both my parents had completely white hair by 50 so it doesn't look promising. i will stop when my eyebrows go grey. but i have curly hair and it is hard to get that to look chic in grey, more like bedraggled sheep.

i use daniel field

Report
horridhobo · 10/04/2010 08:34

Hmm - this Daniel Field stuff looks interesting fishie - is it really good?
I appreciate that some women prefer not to colour their hair for feminist reasons but frankly most people look much better with carefully coloured hair, unless they are lucky enough to go a lovely soft all over grey.

Report
purplepeony · 10/04/2010 08:52

Unless you have a great cut, great hair condition and great bone structure, then most women IMHO look older with grey hair. Harldy anyone goes a lovely uniform shade of grey- it is pepper and salt with white, yellowy and other colours mixed in- and the hair itself is courser.

It is undoubtedly ageing for almost everyone.

I can understand the no-chemicals attitude but there must be alternatives?

If you are sick of regrowth why not have high/low lights so you can mix up the grey with lighter shdaes of brown and blonde?

Report
sybilfaulty · 10/04/2010 08:55

I started going grey in my 20s and am now about 70% grey I reckon. I am fair with pale skin and blue eyes so have the whole lot highlighted blonde to mask the grey. The hairdresser reckons once it all goes, it'll be the Helen Mirren silver grey colour.

It looks terrible at the moment though unless it is coloured. I also find it very ageing on me. I would consider going dark and using an Aveda type product to maintain ungrey hair, but am told it would not suit my skin.

Whilst I see the feminist point of view, I feel so much better with coloured hair that it's something I keep doing for myself. I am 40, BTW.

Report
cariadpinc · 10/04/2010 09:03

Thanks everyone - I think if I could wave a magic wand and see what my hair actually would look like as birdsandblossoms said then the decision would be so much easier. Have spent 2 years growing my hair, can you imagine growing it for another two to go grey!

OP posts:
Report
gtamom · 10/04/2010 11:10

If it were me, I'd do it gradually, what's the rush? I'd go to a colour specialist, and get it low lighted, and highlighted, not dyed solid brown.
Then it will blend in nicer with your current coloured hair. I don't think just letting it grow out with solid grey roots would look very flattering, with any hair colour.

Report
cariadpinc · 10/04/2010 13:38

The thing is I've already gone down that route - and the condition of my hair was awful in comparison to my normal shiny brown but at least the colour wasn't being applied to my scalp! I give up! Going to ask my hairdresser what lovely chemicals are involved in normal process and go from there (she used to be Aveda which is why I went there but she doesn't seem to stock this anymore so I don't know what she's using now)
Anyway the sun is shining and I think I should get out there and let my greys get some vitamin D!

OP posts:
Report
grumpypants · 10/04/2010 13:41

well, i am mid 30s and recently got fed up with colouring it dark. 70% grey now - white grey, not metal grey. Now I have it highlighted to blend in, short but cool, and i love it. kind of a compromise - almost blonde rather than granny grey.

Report
lljkk · 10/04/2010 13:42

Nicely said, SethStarkAddersMum. .

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

wahwah · 10/04/2010 14:05

I am of that Celt stock which is black haired, but goes grey ridiculously young. I have never coloured my hair and love it. I am tall and slim and I think not bad looking and I love that it makes me stand out from the herd.

Two young Dc and a full time job did make it hard to always look tiptop, but always had compliments from those not brave enough to do it themselves.

It could be aging, but you have to adapt clothes and makeup to make the most of it and dyed hair can be aging in terms of poor condition and colour. I am in my forties now, but I don't think anyone has ever thought I was older, usually the other way ( unless they're just being kind ) my sister has always worn her hair grey and at 50 she looks stunning and I think really classy.

Report
GladioliBuckets · 10/04/2010 15:02

If you wear glasses I would think twice. Grey haired women with glasses are just about the most invisible humans in the western world. You would need to invest time and money into being stylish, wellgroomed and colourful all the time. If that's do-able, go for it.

If you have 5cm grey roots now, can you stick it out another month then get the colour chopped out? If you can't bear it you can always dye it again and it will be cool for summer.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.