Does your DD wear foundation every day? I feel like a bad parent

(42 Posts)
FATEdestiny Wed 26-Oct-16 11:45:53

I'm really torn about full coverage foundation use in my young dd. She wears it every day.

DD (post-puberty) has teenage spots. Yellow heads mainly, some blackheads and very, very oily skin. No massive cysts but once popped, the yellow heads are red until they fade. Her periods started 2 years ago and she is fully post-pubery. Her hormones are settling now. Her skin isnt though.

So...

Right from the beginning of puberty I introduced skin care and hygiene. For 3 years now she's been washing with salicylic acid products. Cleansing, toning, skin appropriate moisturizing. Adequate makeup removal etc.

No one guided me through that stuff, i was left to figure skincare out for myself. So I'm glad to do it for dd. Now for my dilemma - matt full-coverage foundation.

Despite good skin care, she has spotty skin. She feels more confident about her appearance when she covers her spots, I am trying to help her make good choices. We have tried lots of different types of foundation and have found that unless she has full-coverage stuff she will more-or-less cover her entire face in concealer stick rather than using light/medium coverage foundation. I feel this is worse than just using full coverage foundation. She favours maybeline whipped moose full coverage (sand).

I am beginning to doubt myself. I'm worried about her covering her delicate, precious skin in this thick stuff. On the one hand I want her to be confident in her skin as it is and make-up isn't teaching her this. On the other I want her to be able to take pride in her appearance if she wants to and if that involves wearing make up to cover spots, I want to help guide her to do it well.

She's just finished her foundation pot and has asked for a new one. I feel like some dreadful parent buying my daughter this thick stuff, let alone allowing her to wear it daily.

Should I be discouraging full coverage foundation use every day?
What about her spots?

Fuzzypeggy Wed 26-Oct-16 11:48:06

I'm no skin care expert but if she's self conscious about her skin then I think letting her wear make up is the right thing to do. It would be awful as a teen to have problem skin and not be able to cover it up.

Being a teenager with spots sucks. Monumentally. Let her cover them up.

As a still spotty adult, try getting her a green toned Concealer for dotting on the red spots first as it will mean she needs less to cover them.

WickerLoveHearts Wed 26-Oct-16 11:52:51

Let her wear the make up she wants to. My mum used to let me when I was younger (12/13) and I gradually used less when I realised my skin wasn't that bad.

Going to the doctor helped me too. Although I had mostly clear skin I was very self conscious and the doctor still prescribed me something called Zynert which is applied twice a day and left to dry, you can wear makeup over the top too smile. Sometimes cleansing and toning isn't enough and that's okay.

JoJoSM2 Wed 26-Oct-16 11:53:25

Sounds like the poor thing is very self-conscious. Has she seen a dermatologist? I wouldn't worry about wearing foundation every day - just make sure she has a good one.
I would also recommend Avene and La Roche Posay stuff as I only stopped being covered in spots when I started using those. I also find Estee Lauder foundation very good - and I can be caked in it day after day and it doesn't clog pores at all.

WickerLoveHearts Wed 26-Oct-16 11:54:41

It's actually called Zineryt, proves how reliable my memory is blushgrin

WilliamHerschel Wed 26-Oct-16 11:58:35

When I was a teenager with acne, salicylic acid did nothing for me. Benzoyl peroxide creams (such as panoxyl) worked though. You can buy them OTC in most chemists. I still keep it in now as I get hormonal acne.

As for makeup, I don't know. If it helps her feel more confident I suppose that's good but I'd worry about her feeling she had to wear it. Maybe encourage her to be make up free as much as possible when not going out as it will also contribute to clogging up her pores.

longdiling Wed 26-Oct-16 11:58:38

I definitely don't think you're a bad mum. I second the recommendation to see a Gp though. That was almost life changing for me as an acne covered teen, I got prescribed some tablets (antibiotics I think) and they pretty much totally got rid of my spots.

Rueben Wed 26-Oct-16 11:59:01

As long as she is removing her makeup properly, I don't see the problem with her wearing it - it shouldn't make her skin worse.
Also, what really helped to keep my acne at bay is changing my diet - taking omega 3 fish oil capsules, eating fermented kefir, taking a daily probiotic, reducing consumption of refined sugars and dairy, and eating plenty of veggies. For my skincare routine, I discovered lots of helpful advice on Reddit's r/skincareaddiction

Yakitori Wed 26-Oct-16 12:01:21

Not at all, OP. It's almost certainly just a phase while she is self-conscious about spots. I agree with taking her to the GP. I used to use lots of concealer as a teenager and was quite shiny and pale!

PosiePootlePerkins Wed 26-Oct-16 12:04:03

Can I recommend Estee Lauder doublewear maximum cover camouflage makeup. I use it to very effectively cover my rosacea. The good thing about it is that you only need a very small amount, so although it gives excellent coverage, my face is not plastered in makeup and looks very natural. Its not cheap, around £30, but one tube lasts me about 3 months or so. You just need to blend it really well.
As an adult with bad skin I completely understand the need to cover up, I wouldn't go out of the house without it. And my GP said that as long as it is properly cleansed, it shouldn't make my skin any worse.

Rueben Wed 26-Oct-16 12:09:36

Personally, I don't think antibiotics are always an appropriate treatment for acne. I was presrcribed antibiotics for my acne, which temporarily cleared my skin but then it came back worse later on. My GP offered me stronger antibiotics but after researching side effects (killing the healthy bacteria in your gut which in some cases can be another cause for acne) I decided against them. I'm so glad I didn't because as I'm sure you know it's not great to take antibiotics for a long period of time. Although, your daughter may be lucky enough to only need to take them once and for her acne to not come back.

Mamushka Wed 26-Oct-16 12:10:05

I wore concealer every day from the age of about 12 onwards. Only reason I didn't wear full coverage foundation is because I couldn't find/afford one pale enough at the time!

It's not like she's 'tarting herself up' with a full face of makeup though right? False eyelashes, bronzer, thick drawn-on eyebrows etc?

I see using foundation and concealer to cover acne is like management of a health condition. I think there was an episode of Embarassing Bodies where a bloke had terrible skin on his back/chest and couldn't go topless for swimming or anything. They couldn't treat it immediately but showed him how to apply professional waterproof concealer/foundation to cover it up. It was lovey to see what a difference it made to the poor bloke.

ijustwannadance Wed 26-Oct-16 12:12:05

As someone who was like your DD 25 years ago, let her wear foundation. She can be comfortable in her own skin when she's older and it has calmed down. It's better that she feels more confident with her foundation on than being teased or feel crap about her spots when there is a simple fix. Especially these days with all the bloody selfies and snapchat etc.

I use the maybelline same as your DD. It is really light on the skin. Not thick and gunky. I wish it had been available when I was her age. Everything back then was bright orange liquid and useless for greasy skin.

Also, sometimes the skincare routine can be a bit much. Maybe try something else if what she's using isn't working.
Keeping her face clean is great but maybe lay off the moisturiser. Last thing she needs is more grease on her skin.

Eminado Wed 26-Oct-16 16:02:44

Take her to the GP and get her something that will clear her skin up properly.

ComputerDog Wed 26-Oct-16 16:06:46

Definitely let her wear foundation. I don't blame her for wanting to cover her spots, I'd be the same if I were her.

I'd agree with others that its worth taking her to the GP to see if they can prescribe something. I took the pill from that age which completely cleared my skin up.

Be careful about using overly harsh products like salicylic acid. In some people they can irritate the skin and make spots worse.

TheOptimisticButtercunt Wed 26-Oct-16 16:07:51

Let her wear it. Bad skin can be horrendous for your mental health and if it makes her feel happier then it would be cruel to take it away.

Also agree with PP that suggested panoxyl - it's the only thing that ever worked for my skin and I've never looked back.

Trinpy Wed 26-Oct-16 16:16:26

A benzoyl peroxide cream worked amazingly well for me as a teen. She just needs to be careful not to get it on her clothes because it can leave bleach marks.

I had terrible skin as a teen and wouldn't leave the house without foundation and concealer. Thank god my mum bought it for me or my confidence would have been rock bottom. My skin cleared in my 20s and I rarely wear make up anymore because I don't need it. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

VenusRising Wed 26-Oct-16 16:18:18

Bring her to the GP and get a dermatology appointment.

Let her wear full coverage make up and make sure she knows how to remove it.

OTC panoxl 5% is essential if she wants to keep the bacteria levels down.

Look at www.acne.org for a regimen of how to treat it.

Also make sure her make up, serum, moisturiser and concealer make up is non comedonegenic.

Look up Lisa Eldridge make up you tube channel for videos and lists of products for covering up acne bumps, lumps, discolouration and scars, and fantastic step by step application, with very positive and affirming chat. Also cleansing routines. Www.Lisaelridge.com

Your DD may do very well on an oral contraceptive pill like cilest, or Yasmin so keep that in mind too.

I had very bad cystic acne on my back chest and neck, when I was a teen, not so much my face, and it had and still has a huge emotional impact, so make an appointment for a dermatologist consultant as soon as you can.

Don't leave it, it's not only her skin that's scarring.

dovesong Wed 26-Oct-16 16:22:24

I think that's absolutely fine. Get her some primer and setting powder too - helps with oily skin. Blotting paper's fab too - she could pop it in her bag and de-slick her skin at lunch time at school. Maybe encourage her to remove her makeup when she gets home to give her skin some time to breathe? But honestly, being a teenager's rotten and you feel so self conscious. I think it's lovely that you're supporting her and helping her feel good about herself.

tissuesosoft Wed 26-Oct-16 16:26:36

Dermablend is amazing- it isn't oil based and you only need a very small amount (about 5p size) for full face coverage. It does seem pricey to buy but a 30ml tube lasts me 2.5 months and I wear it every day and my adult acne has cleared up because I'm not using cheaper commercial brands

Neverknowing Wed 26-Oct-16 16:33:11

I would take her to Boots to talk to a skin care expert and then ask them to find her a suitable foundation as maybelline matte mousse is horrible (in my opinion!) it's not going to be good for the skin or look good on? It's very pore-clogging which will cause more spots, but I'd say allow her to wear makeup or she'll just feel insecure smile

CaitAgusMadra Wed 26-Oct-16 17:27:49

Look up Lisa Eldridge's video on make up to cover acne, very good technique & she doesn't go for that caked on look

bunnybleu Wed 26-Oct-16 18:02:05

I think that as long as she's cleansing properly then let her wear it. It's an advantage of being a girl with bad skin, my DS is just starting with the teenage spots and I feel awful that he can't cover up!! Just research the best type of foundation etc, I'd second the Lisa Eldridge video suggestion.

SuperPug Wed 26-Oct-16 18:08:12

Dermologica starter set is great.
As a one off treat, perhaps a foundation and consultation at Bobbi Brown? Coverage is excellent re: foundations on concealers.
This may not be something you want to consider but a close relative's skin was massively helped by going on the pill.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now