Someone throw some funeral outfit inspiration my way please!!

(39 Posts)
FindersKeeperz Mon 26-Sep-16 23:21:14

Basically that really. I'm so stumped at what to wear to a funeral next Monday. It's for dp's grandad who lived up country whom we didn't see all that often.... maybe once every couple of years.
Luckily for me I haven't had to attend many funerals, which is why I'm asking for help as black dresses seem to be really nice but more like going out dresses or dreary work dresses.
And what shoes?? I only have black ballet shoes or black high heels.
Thanks in advance

NicknameUsed Mon 26-Sep-16 23:31:14

TBH it doesn't really matter, as long as it is clean and presentable and not to short or low cut. I wouldn't buy a new dress for a funeral, but just wear some sober clothes that I already own. It isn't wedding and people don't look at or judge other people's outfits at funerals.

The last two funerals I went to were in winter, and as I have a long black coat it didn't really matter that the dress I wore was dark green and not black.

Floisme Tue 27-Sep-16 07:12:11

I agree with Nick - just something sober and unshowy, e.g. trousers and a plain top in any dark colour. I have never been to a funeral where black was expected. I wouldn't buy something special unless you really have to as it will forever be associated with funerals. Crematoriums and graveyards can be chilly so wrap/layer up and wear shoes you can walk in, particularly, if it's a burial.

If you do end up having to buy something then 'dreary' is better than 'going out'. The idea is that they will remember you were there but not your clothes.

Sorry for your loss and I hope it goes well.

Kittykatmacbill Tue 27-Sep-16 07:45:31

I am sorry for your loss.

Unless you have been told you need to wear black, I would go sober and conservative rather than tie yourself in knots over wearing black.

I think that work clothes are fine.

Perpetualstateofchaos Tue 27-Sep-16 07:51:53

I recently went to my Grandma's funeral and wore a black knee length swing dress from h&m and black heels.

readyforno2 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:56:14

I have this http://www.marksandspencer.com/3-4-sleeve-scoop-neck-shift-dress/p/p22477611?image=SD01T591197DY0XEC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=plp it's really flattering and easy to wear. Is this the kind of thing you had in mind?

PrincessOG16 Tue 27-Sep-16 08:19:29

Just wear Black.

No one is going to be paying attention to what you're wearing. The day won't be about you - it's about your DPs grandfather.

Sheusedtobesomeonelse Tue 27-Sep-16 08:30:43

I posted something similar last November and got some great ideas.
I ended up wearing a dark purple smart coat with a big black scarf and some black skinny trousers, with heels. Not many people were actually wearing black (apart from very close family) but noone was wearing pink or yellow either!

As long as you look smart and put together, that's the most important thing.

Somber is the new black. You may be on your feet for a while at the crem and wake so choose footwear accordingly. I wear black walking boots under my cassock for graveside burials but this isn't an option for mourners.

As the weather is changeable at the moment a good coat with a nice scarf could get you through most funerals as there is usually a lot of hanging about in the open air.

Avoid the nightclub look at all costs. I was at a distant relative's funeral many years ago and most of the women were inLBDs in January with no coats. They were blue with cold by the time we started.

Sorry for your loss.

FindersKeeperz Tue 27-Sep-16 13:19:25

Thank you so much all of you.
I'll just stick with my work trousers (smart black) and a new sober top as I'm quite into bold colours.

palanca Tue 27-Sep-16 13:39:04

just don't wear tight jeans and a tight white shirt as one of DH's friends did at the funeral of one of their mutual friends - he said it was because he "did not have time" to change [he is basically a white collar worker with plenty of money so I doubt he did not have a sober suit] but he is one of vainest people I have ever met so it clearly was deliberate to show off his gym honed body .....

FWIW the deceased friend never wore jeans and no-one else was wearing anything but black angry

Sorry for derailing but it still makes me seethe ...

palanca Tue 27-Sep-16 13:40:32

PS sorry for your loss and IMHO yes you should veer on the side of dull if in doubt unless given special instructions to wear something different

sweetheart Tue 27-Sep-16 13:47:38

Sorry for your loss. I think this is very chic and respectful for a funeral

specialsubject Tue 27-Sep-16 20:04:24

What you plan is fine - sober colours, smart and tidy is all that is needed. Not too much flesh. Either pair of shoes is ok looks-wise. If it is a church, generally they are cold so bear that in mind.

Sorry for your loss.

Snog Tue 27-Sep-16 21:13:18

At the funerals I have been to recently I expected somber colours but EVERYONE wore black

FindersKeeperz Wed 28-Sep-16 14:49:00

I've ordered these two to see what they look like. Probably pair with ankle boots and a blazer?

KoalaDownUnder Wed 28-Sep-16 14:54:25

No, no - not your cold shoulder one! That looks as if you're going to a bar or club. Too short and too much skin in show.

Bodycon one okay, assuming it's not skin tight?

I'd go for something more reserved, tbh.

KoalaDownUnder Wed 28-Sep-16 14:54:53

Sorry - typos galore

Fuzzypeggy Wed 28-Sep-16 14:56:07

The cold shoulder one isn't right for a funeral. The other one would be OK as long as it isn't too bodycon. Sexy is not a great look for a funeral

Fuzzypeggy Wed 28-Sep-16 14:57:21

Black trousers and a plain top would be better if you have that. Basically dark colours, not too clingy or short and not sexy.

Dulcimena Wed 28-Sep-16 16:09:43

You're overthinking it. Just wear something you already have, that's clean, ironed, etc, in dark colour or colours, and does not look too showy or require constant readjustments. Work trousers are fine.

polyhymnia Wed 28-Sep-16 16:42:31

Agree with recent posters. Those dresses are unsuitable,the bare shoulders one grossly so. Would look tacky and disrespectful.

Much better to stick with your black trousers and a non bright top. It's not really the opportunity to rush out and put together a great going out outfit. For once boring as well as simple is better.

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 28-Sep-16 16:49:01

Definitely not the cold shoulder dress! That's all wrong.

Plain black dress or black trousers and a top. Grey is also fine. And boring is absolutely fine.

specialsubject Wed 28-Sep-16 18:00:25

the outfit you have is fine. No need to buy more. Especially not that awful flesh-flasher!

Floisme Wed 28-Sep-16 19:31:51

I agree with everyone else. Normally it's seen as polite to dress up for a celebration but a funeral is the opposite. Anything that draws attention to yourself in any way is inappropriate. Unless you've been told otherwise, neat, sober trousers and top are fine.

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