Please help me with my hair - pics included

[HairToday2]

Have NC for this due to photos.

Background: my natural hair is very dark (greying) and I've got v pale (pink toned) skin and dark green eyes. Going to same hairdresser for 5+ years and I've gone from a chestnut all over colour to more and more blonde highlights over the last few years. My colourist and stylist are both the top rated (and most expensive) in their salon.

I was approaching a milestone birthday last year, so asked colourist about trying to go fully blonde - to try something fun and crazy for once in my life. I brought in about 20 magazine pictures of blondes I liked and he picked out the 2 attached as the ones that were most achievable and would suit me (Bobbi Brown model and Claire Danes - those aren't me ). I was hoping for something with a dark base and then light on top. I said we could take it slowly and if it took 6 months that would be fine.

8 months later and I've attached pics of my hair now. Actually it's 10 months as I haven't been back for 2 months and I'm dithering about going or what to ask for - hence I'm asking for your help. Edit: Sorry they're sideways - no idea why it's doing that or how to change it.

This is almost an AIBU but no one in RL likes my colour or thinks it suits me. I know it's not what I was hoping for (at all) and I'm not even sure what colour to call it. Is it more red/auburn maybe? Orange if I'm being mean?

I'm just not sure if this is his way of telling me that an out-and-out blonde won't suit me. But if it is (which would be understandable) why would he have picked out those 2 photos? If he wasn't so well rated, I would be wondering if he just isn't very good at his job.

What irks me slightly is that my stylist changes her hair from blonde to dark and back again every six months - it never takes this long and she goes to a beautiful blonde, although she is young and v pretty so anything would suit her.

At each session, I did try to subtly say that we could go lighter with the blonde and I asked if my hair was just not taking the colour. But I've never been brave enough to complain/question it outright.

I guess I'm asking for your help, advice and expertise. Should I give up on going blonde at this stage? Or is there any way I can try asking again without being horrible/insulting to him?

I realise from looking at the photos that my hair is in fairly bad condition but that's another day's thread I guess.

[TheOddity]

You have nice strawberry blonde hair but basically you want a cooler blonde, and a block colour. I'd say (no expert mind!) You'd need to go every six weeks for roots if not highlights. Could that be why?

[Fuzzypeggy]

I also don't understand this. I hear time and time again (in real life and on MN all the time) that it is very difficult to get a very cool light blond if your hair is dark and or warm. And that it takes ages to achieve. However my hairdresser is like yours, she goes from a dark auburn to a silver blond regularly and her hair always looks wonderful. Therefore it IS possible but I have no idea how.

[wowfudge]

It's a bit gingery and you want blonde. I'm no expert but spent ages talking to my hairdresser last night about going lighter as I have so much grey under my colour. The colours aren't what you've asked for from the pictures. The base colour has to be the right one to go with the highlights you want. It does look as though your hair needs a really good deep conditioning treatment.

[GingerbreadCake]

Change your colourist and be very very clear about what you want.

I've gone from dark brown to light ash blonde and there's no orange colour. They're playing it safe but you need to be firmer with them. You could have your hair platinum in a couple of hours if you wanted then just put a toner on it it shouldn't take months!

[phoolani]

Tell him to get the bleach out! And if he won't/doesn't, ask him why; there may well be a good reason, but he should be clear on what it is. Or just find a new hairdresser. I would.

[BakeOffBiscuits]

Have you taken the two pictures back into the hairdressers, recently?

If not he ,as have forgotten what you're aiming for.

[IntelligentPutty]

It looks like what happened to me. I spent a fortune over 8 months and now just given up and gone back to dark brown. My hair looks in much better condition. And was along the lines of what yours is now.

I think they are scared to do it.
Agree that you should take in pics again and ask if it is actually achievable ?

[Choceeclair123]

Same thing happened to me which is why I ended up going back to original colour. Hair wasn't as light as I'd wanted and was in rubbish condition despite paying fortune for "top" hairdresser and hair treatments. I have also witnessed hairdressers going from dark to light blonde very quickly and ending up with gorgeous healthy looking light blonde hair. Would love to know how myself?!

[mycatstares]

For a quick fix I'd recommend 'a touch of silver purple shampoo', just to get rid of some of the brass colouring in there.

If your not happy with how your hair stylist is colouring your hair you must tell them! Your presumably paying them a lot of money so make sure you tell them what you want.

[Ohb0llocks]

I'd reccomend a deep conditioning treatment before you do anything, dependant how it comes out some foils with an olaplex treatment in.

[ginghamstarfish]

Agree, a new hairdresser! I've had similar problems, I'm natural dark blonde but highlights have ALWAYS gone coppery - my dad's family are redheads so apparently got a lot of red pigment in my hair. Maybe you have similar. Given up and going grey now!

[YellowShockedFace]

You definitely need purple (also called silver) shampoo and conditioner. The pound shop sells it if you don't want to spend too much.
It will work from the first time you use it.

[Youvegottobekidding]

I'm no hairdresser, but I've had my hair all colours over the years! I'm naturally a dark auburn. I've gone from being a mid-auburn brown (dyed) to really blonde, in a few hours at my local salon by having cap highlights about 5 years ago. I had attempted to go 'blonde' before but this was the best result. A week later I went back & got the hairdresser to take me back to light brown/auburn. Why? Because the blonde did not suit me at all - I looked completely washed out, as soon as the hairdresser put that brown colour on, the colour in my face came back. I'm fair skinned, with light freckles. I simply cannot have blonde hair. I can be anything from light brown to black.

If you want to be that blonde (which I think your current colour is fine) perhaps try a new hairdresser for new ideas?

[MoBro]

Find two new pics which are ashy. Type ash blonde into Google and see if you like any of the pictures. The first image you have looks like a root smudge but has a heavy shadow at the top making the roots look a lot darker than I'd guess they really are. The second picture looks like a build up of foils- probably 3 applications. That's why she looks almost globally blonde but has the nice staggered regrowth. They both have a warmth to them in areas but I think that is shadow/filtering but I think your stylist has interpreted that you like that. A picture of a cool blonde would be they way forward so there's no confusion and if you like the fact you can see the roots then point that out. If I was you though and prepared to spend good money on my hair, I'd go to a new stylist who will see you in a fresh light. I'd probably recommend one of my own clients to another stylist if I was getting a bit stale.

[MrsSeanBeanIsAtWork]

I hate it when hairdressers do this (and themselves seem to achieve what they tell you is unachievable!)

Be firm, say you definitely want a much lighter and cooler colour. At the end of the day sod what they say about not suiting you, if you aren't getting what you want: if you want light you want light.

I would also second ditching the hairdresser and finding another.

[SuperFlyHigh]

New hairdresser (colourist) definitely. They aren't listening to you.

Is there a recommended salon in your area for colour?

[GingerLDN]

Change your stylist. They can get used to your style and not be very adventurous after a while so it's worth a try. Also the Fudge Purple shampoo takes out any brassiness and tends to lighten hair. Also Fudge (I don't work for them) Dynamite treatment to get your hair in good shape. These are the best I've found and I've tried loads - high end and budget.

[SuperFlyHigh]

If there's one near you try an aveda salon or one who uses their colours. Their blondes are nice but also very conditioning with the products etc.

[Fairylea]

I think your hairdresser is scared of going blonder. It sounds like they're not too sure either what you want or how to do it. I often find when you want something more "extreme" (very strong colour change or extremely short) they're hesitant to do it! Drives me nuts!

I think I'd actually go to another hairdresser; one that doesn't know you and won't have known what you've had done before etc. Bring some new photos, maybe a bit lighter blonde than those ones just to really hammer it home!

[Oblomov16]

I'm really sorry OP! But I agree with all your RL friends that your actual colour you have now is not very nice.
As others have suggested, have you shown the original pictures and the actual current pictures to your hairdresser? How anyone could argue that they were at all similar.......

[Oblomov16]

And if for any reason the hair colour you want, in the Danes picture for example, isn't achievable, because you have too much xxxx/red/whatever in your hair then they should say so. "I can't achieve that because xxx, but here is a picture of what your hair type can have .... Are you happy with that? "

It's all about communication.

[Blueisthemagicnumber]

Google for your local Olaplex salon. It is what the Kardashians had mixed in their colour to go from black to platinum successfully. You can buy the at home treatment online to use between colours.

[SuperFlyHigh]

I'd be wary of Olaplex because on googling it there wasn't much scientific evidence it worked at first...

Also my nearest salon to my work the owner did a big hard sell on Olaplex for me giving me a quote for treatment that would have cost approx £160 over course of 4 treatments. This is in a well off area so she may have presumed I had the money.

I spoke to my regular hairdresser who said she could do treatments, sold me a l'oreal professionel range (shampoo, conditioners which are deep condoning treatments) etc... And as I've known her 20 years I trusted her more!