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Caught sight of myself today- 36 and I dress like a fucking student. Help.

42 replies

ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 17:57

Was wearing bootcut jeans, converse, khaki tshirt and a navy parka.
I've got a good few casual-ish dresses pm have ordered a couple of pairs of ankle boots so I can wear them with tights, but can anyone find me some mid range to lower priced casual type blouses to go with my jeans? I need to look my age.
Work is a very prescribed black suit white shirt thing so need casual clothes to pull off the mid 30s not 22 look. Thanks!

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ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 18:23

For reference, I buy a lot of clothes from Next, tesco, primark, debenhams, m&s (but usually only for jeans at m&s). Thanks.

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LordVoldemortsMissingNose · 08/09/2016 18:37

Oh god, that's how I dress too. I'm 35, still wear boot cut jeans, converse and hoodies. I'm not sure where I fit in now either.

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willconcern · 08/09/2016 18:42

Er. I'm 43. I also wear jeans (boots cut & skinny), converse, t shirts & hoodies......

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SpaceKablooie · 08/09/2016 18:47

It's only an issue if you want to dress differently! I do think it's easy to get stuck in a rut though.

Are blouses really the answer? I'm in my mid-30s, I like shopping in White Stuff, Fat Face, and Uniqlo.

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ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 18:51

I just want to look more, polished? I don't want to look out of place. Shoes as well. I'm very much a skinny jeans, boots in autumn winter, but I'm always at a loss if I'm not in pumps or converse the rest of the year.

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yougottheshining · 08/09/2016 18:57

I've actually found Mango has decent blouses that can be worn with jeans. I have a few of them and have been wearing one particular sheer nicely cut number from there for years now and always get complimented on it when I do. Obv you need to root around a bit.

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Laquila · 08/09/2016 18:58

Lol at "Are blouses really the answer?" - love that line! Personally, I'm not convinced they are, unless you're doing them with cigarette pants and minimalist jewellery in a Claire Underwood type way.

I do feel your pain, OP - I feel like I've lost my way a bit in recent years (I'm 34 with two kids). My rules are a follows:

  • jeans must be skinny or boyfriend
  • print/pattern on top = plain below and vice versa
  • simple, modern jewellery can make a big difference
  • only buy things that look more expensive than they are
  • for years I thought that navy was more chic than black but am now veering the other way
  • neutral colours will generally always look classier than prints and patterns (not a hard and fast rule)
  • avoid prints featuring entire animals (ie whimsical foxes etc Hmm) whilst actively seeking out animal-print (ie leopard-print cashmere cardy worn with black tee, skinny jeans and Supergas)
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ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 19:04

See that all sounds dead trendy, and kind of where I want to be. I've got so many breton type stripe tops I could sell them.
And then there's jackets. What jackets would I wear with a dress without looking too over dressed for the school run?! This middle age is a minefield Grin

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Gardencentregroupie · 08/09/2016 19:05

Sod off with your middle aged! I'm 35 and in no way admitting middle age!!

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ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 19:10

Haha, I was just thinking, statistically speaking I'm hurtling towards 40 and hopefully will last until I'm 80 Wink

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Allinafankle · 08/09/2016 19:32

I'm another one - a 43 year old student Grin
I've tried to change my look and be a bit more grown up but I always feel overdressed in anything else.

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ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 19:35

Allin that is exactly how I feel...overdressed. In fact I positively try and avoid overdressing to the point where if I go to the soft play, there's mothers there who are more dressed up than I get for a night out Blush

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Allinafankle · 08/09/2016 20:18

Agree. I see people in the supermarket or wherever looking all co-ordinated and like I imagine a 30/40 woman should look ... and then there's me looking scruffy! I'll often quite like things I see others wearing but I either can't find similar things to buy or try it on and just think ... nah!
And don't get me started on actually getting dressed up for a night out!!
I think I just need to resign myself to the fact I'm not one of life's smart dressers.

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SENPARENT · 08/09/2016 21:16

Er I'm 60 and I wear skinny jeans (and slim fit ones) boots, pumps, t shirts and hoodies. Confused. But I also wear other things and have smarter stuff for work and for going out.
I think you should wear what you feel comfortable in and it doesn't matter what other people are wearing.

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PNGirl · 08/09/2016 21:46

I'm generally to be found in trainers and skinnies or rolled-up jeans, a t shirt (usually stripy) and a leather jacket.

I have a pair of flat brown brogues that I wear with turned-up jeans on days I want to look 32 rather than 19, which helps, and chelsea ankle boots are a good spring/autumn alternative.

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Namechangenurseryconcerns · 08/09/2016 21:51

This is how I dress. I don't really see the issue although I find I am finding it harder to stay 'in the loop' wrt what to wear on a night out.
The way I see it-my nan dresses in tweed skirts and blouses from 18-90, my mum wears jeans and polo shirts and has done for the last 40 years. I will probably still be wearing jeans and hoodies as a pensioner and being happy and comfortable!

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Kenworthington · 08/09/2016 21:56

I'm 41 (today!) and mostly look bonkers. I def don't 'dress my age'. But wtf does that even mean anyway? Fwiw I don't know any students that wear bootcut jeans but maybe I'm spectacularly missing the point Grin

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ChippyDucks · 08/09/2016 22:39

Haha good one Ken and happy birthday for today! I don't know, I just feel a bit, for want of a more British word, daggy. I see mums at school who are the same age-ish as me and I feel like a child in comparison.
PN do the brogues not rub on your ankles? I fancy a pair but don't know how comfortable they would be.

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PNGirl · 08/09/2016 22:41

No, but they were expensive and soft leather. I'd definitely recommend a try-on before buying.

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EchoJuliet · 09/09/2016 08:18

I'm 40 and have no intention of dressing my age!! I'd agree with Laquila's 'rules'
A good leather jacket (mine is all saints) is great over loads of basic tee and jeans combos. And jersey bikers give a bit more of an edge than a cardigan and are more casual than a blazer. But Zara have a fab blazer with ruched sleeves in Ivory and black that go with everything! A few cool scarves and pieces of statement jewellery and your look will be updated in no time whilst still being able to wear the jeans and trainers you are comfy in :-)

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CallarMorvern · 09/09/2016 08:37

I'm 46 and still dress like a student, I also wouldn't feel comfy 'dressing up', but I'm happy as I am. I do have a perfect black dress for posher outings, jeans for everything else.

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Flisspaps · 09/09/2016 08:40

Why do you need to look your age?

Why doesn't everyone just wear what they like rather than what they think they ought to wear?

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bomfunk · 09/09/2016 08:43

31 here - may-October I wear 3/4 jeans or denim short shorts with band t- shirts or plain/surfy ones, outfit completed with flip flops. The winter months - skinnies plus biker boots and hoodies or dresses and boots. That is my formula and has been since god knows when - and I'm sticking to it! Fuck it!

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bomfunk · 09/09/2016 10:30

31 here - may-October I wear 3/4 jeans or denim short shorts with band t- shirts or plain/surfy ones, outfit completed with flip flops. The winter months - skinnies plus biker boots and hoodies or dresses and boots. That is my formula and has been since god knows when - and I'm sticking to it! Fuck it!

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Floisme · 09/09/2016 10:48

What is 36 supposed to look like? or a student? I'm a part time student, a part time office based worker and I'm also 60. What do you think I should look like according to these mythical rules?

If you want to change your style because you're bored with it or because you don't think it suits you any more or because your lifestyle's changed then that's different and I'm all for it. But doing it because you've reached some arbitrary age and everyone else seems to be doing it so you think you'd better too .... it just seems a bit of a shame.

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