Bad experience personal shopping- can anyone advise me of what I should be buying!

(24 Posts)
Miolmor Sun 28-Aug-16 11:42:01

I've name changed as this is embarrassing and identifying!

I recently lost almost 4stone, hoping to lose 1-2more, have a BMI of around 26 currently. I've also stopped breastfeeding recently. All of this has meant my shape has changed hugely. Needing new clothes for both work and casual wear and having no idea what would suit I decided to try a personal shopping service in a department store. It was a disaster to say the least. She kept pointing out my problem areas (hips, thighs, bum, stomach, breasts arms- basically everything) and bringing me baggy shapeless clothes which were too big (to hide the problem areas). No advice on colours etc. Needless to say I left in tears and with no new clothes.

I was previously an hourglass, probably more a pear now that my chest has deflated completely. 5ft 5, very pale freckle skin, green eyes, dark brown hair. Narrow shoulders, upper arms need toning after weight loss, measure 31inches under bust and 37 over leaning forward. Waist 28inches, hips 40inches, diastesis recti and c-section shelf, large bum, thighs, saddlebags. Calves muscular but well shaped, skinny ankles and wrists and tiny hands and feet.

Wearing 12-14/M-L on bottom, generally 12/M on top. I want to lose more weight, but it's going to be slow and I need clothes that make me feel good while I lose it. I now have even less confidence than when I was over 15 stone. I'd love to wear skinny jeans with draped tops but I know they don't suit at all. Problem is I don't really know what suits!

RobberBride Sun 28-Aug-16 13:49:40

I'm really sorry you had that experience. I think you should complain to the store!

First of all, make sure you've got well fitting bras and pants. It is amazing what they can do to help you.

With your hip and waist measurements and your legs (which sound amazing, I'm v jealous) I reckon pencil skirts with looser tops tucked in will be a good bet. Try and get lined skirts made out of thicker fabric as that helps to smooth over any lumps or bumps. I've got some wool ones from M&S which are fantastic in autumn/winter/early spring. The nice things about skirts is that they are fairly forgiving of weight changes, as you lose weight they will just slip down a bit til you need to change them!

The other thing you could try is fit and flare or scuba skirts like this www.asos.com/ASOS-Tall/ASOS-TALL-Midi-Prom-Skirt-In-Scuba/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=6998789&affid=14173&channelref=product+search&mk=abc¤cyid=1&gclid=COWYlt2S5M4CFaIW0wodfEEAPw. Tuck in a nice blouse and you're good to go. The only thing is they won't last long if you lose weight, they need to fit exactly on the waist.

Kirriemuir Sun 28-Aug-16 14:06:01

I think you should try a different store for personal shopping. Hopefully it wasn't John Lewis you had a bad experience with.

MsMims Sun 28-Aug-16 14:20:35

To echo robber I too have a big difference between my waist and hips, and pencil skirts are the most flattering item for me. I usually pair with a well shaped but loose top. My stomach area isn't a problem but the tops skim over nicely and would conceal well. My skirts are either nice and thick, or double layered.

Most from house of Fraser, joules and miss selfridge.

ThunderboltKid Sun 28-Aug-16 14:59:28

Your description and measurements (down to the dr & cs shelf) are exactly me grin. I've learnt that I cannot wear jeans - they just don't suit me. I'm still stuck in fit & flare type dresses or leggings & tunic combos. Following in the hope of more inspiration smile

margaritasbythesea Sun 28-Aug-16 15:03:49

Write a complaint about that personal shopper. You are not overweight at all. I should know your figure is pretty much like mine. I'd be fuming if someone made me feel like that.

My fave style Outfits -

Pencil skirt with tucked in top often silk. Blazer if working.

Straight Maxi either with belt and smart teeth if working or oversized teeth a bit tucked in if casual. Dorothy Perkins do a good basic Jersey Maxi.

Slim / cigarette cut trousers and blouse tucked in it oversize flowing blouse with a heeled shoe

Dresses with sleeves and waist defined. Biden have a few ATM.

margaritasbythesea Sun 28-Aug-16 15:04:37

Smart teeth? Smart T-shirt!

Pestilence13610 Sun 28-Aug-16 15:21:44

VavaVoom Your body is not a problem, the personal shopper is.

Get fitted for a bra, your boobs are probably at their lowest ebb after weight loss and stopping BF. Hang on in there they should be a bit recovered in 6 months or so. Get comfy knickers, maybe a bit bigger, higher than pre DC.

If you fancy jeans try every pair on the planet, diesel and M&S are quite good for small waist big hip combos.

Robber has good ideas.

Miolmor Sun 28-Aug-16 15:22:42

Thanks everyone. I will write a complaint alright. I feel very self conscious when I try on pencil skirts etc as my thighs are so big. Pre-baby I loved shirts etc tucked in but now with the shelf/weak core muscles again I feel self conscious. I'm not sure how much of that is perception after being so overweight and how much is real which is why I wanted an objective opinion!

I have signed up to Pilates to hopefully improve my stomach area. Think I'll try John Lewis once my ego has recovered a bit.

Hope34 Sun 28-Aug-16 15:24:02

hello...well done and congratulations

I went to JL personal shopper earlier the year, she was a lovely lady and found me the perfect jeans, however because she was running 40 mins late , it felt quite rushed an dI did feel I had some pressure to buy, which i returned later in the afternoon!

The one thing I would suggest is to get your colours done, I did this a few months ago, and was so glad I had an empty wardrobe and needed to buy clothes. The consultant not only went through the colours but also the styles of clothes that suited me best. It has made shopping so much easier.
Saved me money in the long run......

Pestilence13610 Sun 28-Aug-16 15:38:05

Embrace the thighs, they go with womanly hips and are sexy.
DD2 has a similar shape and looks knockout in pencil skirts. She often favours fit and flare dresses that finish a bit above the knee, less sexy but still flattering and practical.
The woman in this photo is a similar size shape to you. She really is!

PhyllisWig Sun 28-Aug-16 15:49:02

Sorry you had a crappy time. You sound remarkably similar to me down to the amount of weight lost and the decimated boobs.

I've got on well with gap jeans and also m&s relaxed skinnies.

I also find a much more fitted jersey dress than I'm used to is flattering and makes me look nicely curved but I do size up so its not too clingy around the tummy. This only works with jersey though as more tailored fabric gapes more.

I've also had some success with slash/boat necks as well as vs and scoops. The poor deflated boobs can cope with a slightly higher neck line and a glimpse of new found collar bone looks good.

I can't do a pencil skirt due to tummy. I look better in slim/skinny trousers rather than wide legs which surprises me and can be challenging to then find a top which shows the waist without being too fitted. Blazers can help with this I find.

Miolmor Sun 28-Aug-16 16:46:55

You are all very kind. Pestilence that woman looks fantastic- I guarantee she is better toned and has a flatter tummy than I do! I probably do need new underwear- definitely new bras but maybe some decent shape wear would give me more confidence.

Phyllis I think I suit more slim fit trousers too, as long as they have a high waist. I need to find a decent dressmaker too I think, to take in waists, and maybe alter some of my current clothes.

I've read bra intervention threads and looks like I need to try bras in 30E/F and 32D/E so may order some and see if that helps my poor boobs look any better!

prettywhiteguitar Sun 28-Aug-16 17:23:07

It's take a year and a half for my boobs not to feel empty, don't despair ! This is after dc3 so I did think they were done for !

I think everything everyone has suggested is great, what I recommend is finding material that you really like, I have a cashmere cardigan I picked up in John Lewis for £30 in the sale. It makes me feel amazing, it it gives you pleasure you will feel good.

prettywhiteguitar Sun 28-Aug-16 17:23:37

It's taken, that should read !

margaritasbythesea Sun 28-Aug-16 19:17:03

It's worth asking for your own bra intervention. Posters are really knowledgeavle about styles and shapes for the shape of your boobs too. Very helpful. I tried dozens of bras before asking. Turns out there are only two or three styles that suit me.

NotAnotherHarlot Sun 28-Aug-16 19:31:26

Your boobs will recover! Mine seemed to take a few months after stopping feeding then were fine. Good bra essential, not too many if you are still losing.

No no no to things that don't show your waist. You need the definition. Skinny jeans and loose tops make me look huge I'm a similar shape. Tops should reach the top of your hips at longest. Same with jackets.

Pencil skirts - yes, though you'll struggle to get lined ones off the shelf with your fabulous waist to hip difference. Dresses - shift ones should suit you, ones with seaming all the way down are better than a defined top and bottom.

Short blazers are good, jumpers which skim and finish at hips.

I hope you feel better, the personal shopper was not professional.

Pestilence13610 Sun 28-Aug-16 20:07:59

Balconette bras are like BF recovery bras, they scoop it up.
Only one pair of support knickers, they are not comfy and will make you pull silly faces.
How about something like this for everyday wear?

Miolmor Wed 31-Aug-16 08:39:39

I'm coming back to update everyone! I had a child free day off yesterday so booked appt for 2 hour personal shopper in John Lewis. Went to bravissimo in morning.

I've got 2 new bras in 30F (was wearing 34G!) and some shaping underwear for my tummy. I came home with this pencil skirt for upcoming presentations with a short fitted white shirt and a wrap around top to match.

Casual wear wise had more difficulty as there's a big shortage of short tops, but got a pair of ankle length black jeans and a very slightly draped t-shirt (fitted over chest/shoulders but loose over tummy)). But tried on lots of things and have a better idea of what to look at!

She was great, spent about 3 hours going through shapes and colours that should suit me and I feel much more confident now. She suggested that I look at clothes that would suit both pears and hourglass, as while technically I'm a pear shape, I have bigger chest-waist difference than most pear shaped women so I don't fit in to either category perfectly.

Thanks everyone for all your help and kindness!

SugarMiceInTheRain Wed 31-Aug-16 08:46:20

Glad you had a more successful experience in JL yesterday. What you've got sounds fab. Good bras make such a difference. Also encouraging to hear from PPs that it can take months for post BF boobs to recover - 3 or 4 months after stopping and mine are like spaniel's ears sad

Number4OnTheWay Wed 31-Aug-16 08:55:01

So pleased you had a great expiearience smile was your first in debinhams by any chance hmm I had a crappy expiearience there too, its put me off ever since!

Miolmor Wed 31-Aug-16 09:06:45

Number4 I was visiting family in Ireland and my experience was in a well known department store there. I do feel much better now.

The bras definitely make a huge difference. My breasts are very empty on top so I've got half cup/balconette styles which help a lot. Strangely wearing a better fitting bra makes my waist look smaller!

I'm much more motivated to lose the last stone now too!

Pestilence13610 Wed 31-Aug-16 10:37:15

wearing a better fitting bra makes my waist look smaller! Nothing strange here Mio Glad you were successful this time, we all knew you were gorgeous.

NotAnotherHarlot Wed 31-Aug-16 23:36:23

Hurray! So glad you had a good time.

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