Feel out of place at dcs very middle class preschool

(60 Posts)
winemummy1 Mon 21-Mar-16 08:50:04

Hi I'm 34 & feel completely out of place at dcs very middle class preschool. Before dc I worked in fashion & was always bang on trend now due to money constraints plus having no time to go shopping due to DP working in another part of the country & no family support I have no time for myself & look a wreck.
Would love that polished yummy mummy middle class look the majority of the mums have going on & I feel it would suit me if I knew how to pull it off!
Hate the thoughts of being judged but I don't fit in at all sick of coming back from the school run feeling intimidated & shit about myself.
DC will be going to the local primary where same kids from preschool will be going so want to get my look together by then.
A bit about myself, I'm 34, size 10 good hair & skin, getting alot of orthodontic work done soon as 15 years of bulimia has really damaged my teeth & II never smile with my teeth, can't wait to have them fixed.
So please help me get that polished look & if any of you know where the trendy MC yummy mummies shop please tell me, might not be everyone's cup of tea but I like how they mums at dcs school look so polished put together & practical even though there's not much individuality I just want to fit in, I'm a sheep happy just to blend in!!

victoryinthekitchen Mon 21-Mar-16 08:52:42

bumpity bump, I could do with some advice on this one too ...

MorrisZapp Mon 21-Mar-16 08:53:45

Boden has what you want. It's online.

PurpleWithRed Mon 21-Mar-16 08:54:14

Are you on a tight budget?

MorrisZapp Mon 21-Mar-16 08:55:44

And a branded coat or jacket. Barbour, North Face, Jack Wolfskin, Didriksons all good for winter wear.

Summer I guess they wear blazers.

HanYOLO Mon 21-Mar-16 08:56:04

I bet you are not being judged. And I also bet that by the time a lot of these polished types are onto kid 2 or 3 they will look a bit less glossy.

Start with hair and eyebrows. Good simple easy to maintain cut, and eyebrows. Good eyebrows are transformational - nb not too dark. Simple make up that suits you.

Better knowledgable people will help you with clothes - depends where you live - up here in Liverpool people don't really do that m/c casual - its yoga pants or full on glam and nowhere in between.

HanYOLO Mon 21-Mar-16 08:56:57

clean, shaped, cuticle-massaged nails too. polish if you really want.

AuntieStella Mon 21-Mar-16 08:58:25

There was a long thread about 'how to look expensive' which will cover quite a lot of grooming tips and more (I'll see if I can find it for you).

It certainly used to be pure Boden for clothes, but their distinctive 'witty' bits are less seen now. Try Joules and White Stuff, or the brands which have concession sin John Lewis (including their own brand).

Chimchar Mon 21-Mar-16 08:59:07

I think a great haircut is a good place to start...along with nice fresh faced make up...a bit of mascara and lippie or lip gloss.
Clothes wise, I am clueless, but I'm guessing somewhere like Boden or Gap might be good to look for styles.

Pinterest is great for looking at styles you like, and you can just copy by buying individual pieces as and when you see them.

I'm guessing that you DO have a good look, having worked in fashion, and that you actually look nice, it's just your confidence needs working on.

Be kind to yourself, focus on the bits you DO like, and believe that you are good enough. I bet you're a lovely lady who has lost her mojo.

Good luck, and be awesome! x

MorrisZapp Mon 21-Mar-16 08:59:39

Yes, basically the whole of John Lewis.

Southernlassie Mon 21-Mar-16 09:01:59

You can totally do it on a budget. Fashion wise, a friend of mine buys everything from primark but looks like topshop and whistles! Buy two pairs of decent jeans and some primark swing jumpers. One colour, preferably dark, NO PATTERNS.

Style it with chunky necklace

AuntieStella Mon 21-Mar-16 09:05:36

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/2537782-How-to-look-expensive

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/2545302-How-to-look-expensive-2

winemummy1 Mon 21-Mar-16 10:00:21

Thanks so much for all the advice, have been holding out till spring to buy new bits, will definitely invest in some good jeans where would you advise? Had been buying my denim in next as it's easier as I could shop for DC at the same time but find Next jeans lose shape so easily...
Style around here is skinnies, check shirt, nice quality jumpers etc, very understated..nothing very obviously boden eg floral skirts etc.
Keep the tips coming!

MissTurnstiles Mon 21-Mar-16 10:35:43

Two huge recent threads on precisely this, linked by AuntieStella above - 'how to look expensive.'

Vilio Mon 21-Mar-16 10:46:13

I've just started the school thing too and the sheep mummies are here too. I have a good look at them while I'm waiting (not in a creepy way, I hope) and I can't help feeling a little sad for them.
They seem to be all a little older than me. I'm 35 and they all look at least 40. They all wear dark black, navy grey ankle or knee boots, skinny jeans or boot cut, and a branded adventure type jacket - all of them have the same brand of jacket as a shop close to here sells it, so its just repeated in a variety of colours.
They all have shoulder length wavy hair.
I think its quite sad to see and almost uniform like. Some have brought out the slip on sketcher go walk shoes now too as the weather warms up.
Its so drab and lacking colour and personality. It really reflects the whole tone of the school which seems to be draining my DS of any fun.
I really don't want to end up like that and I don't put too much thought into my outfits, but I am trying to maintain my youth and mix things up a bit with my clothes. I might dress a little too young for being 35.
I have a pixie haircut which some of them commented on how nice it was and and a couple said they liked it but could never do it. I wonder why, its quite sad.
I like feeling that I can dress how I please and not feel the need to fit in.
I'm not trying to say you shouldn't feel bad for sticking out, but I would say you wouldn't necessarily be keeping up with them by copying matching their look. They may, in fact, respect your individuality.

absolutelynotfabulous Mon 21-Mar-16 11:03:58

I agree with vilo above. Why fit in?
Most "M/C" types around here are scruffs. It's jeans in winter and saggy linen in summer. Grungy colours. Unkempt hair.

The look you are describing sounds dull as ditchwater. You've worked in fashion; I bet you look awesome. I bet you've got a real eye for style too.

Perhaps you could adapt the "standard" look to suit you. So you're kind of fitting in but putting your own twist on the look?

If they wear makeup, make yours less subtle. Get a similar jacket, but make it a stylish, colourful one. Wear cheaper clothes in dark colours but bling your outfit up with chunky statement jewellery. Get a nose stud; I bet no-one's going to have one of those!

If they wear Uggs, get yourself a pair of coloured wellies. If they're wearing GoWalk, get yourself a trendy pair of trainers.

And scour Ebay for bargains.

Celebrate your personality, and dare to be a little bit differentsmile

Sistersweet Mon 21-Mar-16 11:44:38

No no no to Boden, that's definitely not the look here. Skinny jeans in grey, blue and a washed out black slightly turned up at the ankles with a checked shirt or swingy jumper, lovely scarf and short dark shellac nails. Shiny hair, either messy bun, curly blow dry or straightened and a north face / Canada goose coat in winter or a leather bomber / biker jacket in spring, pair of Raybans and a hobo handbag or a cross body. Shoes - either ankle boots or back high tops in winter. Once it gets a bit warmer replace shoes with ballerinas or slip in trainers in a grey, black or metallic and tops with slub tshirt and nice belt.

Sistersweet Mon 21-Mar-16 11:45:43

Plus an oversized mans watch and a load of mismatched bracelets to stack

winemummy1 Mon 21-Mar-16 11:47:25

Sistersweet, you've nailed it that's exactly the look I'd love to emulate just don't know where to start. It's such a casual look but the majority of the mums are so polished too... Feel so frumpy & old fashioned in comparison...

thecatfromjapan Mon 21-Mar-16 11:51:21

Get the Hush catalogue sent to you and go and buy lookie-likie items in Primark, Topshop and Uniqlo?

thecatfromjapan Mon 21-Mar-16 11:52:00

Or look at the Hush catalogue on-line (even cheaper)?

thecatfromjapan Mon 21-Mar-16 11:55:05

I do think it sounds as though you've lost a bit of your confidence, though. If you worked in fashion, you must like fashion - and you must have a bit of an artisitic streak. You need to find your confidence, my dear.

Still, little steps and a bit of positive feedback will get you there. Remember, nearly all women who have had children have been through this "Who am I? What do I wear?" post-baby phase. It's a Thing. You'll get through it.

Good luck. smile

absolutelynotfabulous Mon 21-Mar-16 12:25:40

I think the key is immaculate, easy to style hair and short dark shiny nails. I wouldn't go for a messy bun, personally-too unkempt imho-but yes to massive watch and cross-body bag with a grungy look. In leather. You'll need your hands!

Lndnmummy Mon 21-Mar-16 12:31:43

Gap can be good for this look. They do 40% off often and recently did all denim for £20.00. I often get oversized shirts in their sale too.

Then a good hair cut, brows and nails and you are half away there. It is getting warmer soon so you won't need the coat wink.

I use bb creme and a light bronzer to look more glowy and a nice lipgloss to look more done.

Lndnmummy Mon 21-Mar-16 12:33:25

The mulberry messanger bags are useful and can often be found second hand. Sunglasses and ballerinas can often be found on secretsales.com etc

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