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As an older mum...

32 replies

Tia4 · 28/02/2016 10:17

I'm just looking for pointers as I intend giving myself an image overhaul now that I have a bit more time for it. I think I know what I like (and yes I know that's what matters most) and feel I don't do so badly but I am conscious of perhaps sometimes verging on the mumsy side whereas I'd like to give a nod to trends. Probably more of a classic dresser though. What makes you think a 50+ woman seems to have it together and looks great? I need to lose a couple of stone but am well on the way with that and my hair and skin are pretty good...interested to hear opinions if you have any!

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MizK · 28/02/2016 10:39

A great leather jacket is always a good choice and looks stylish without being too try-hard.

I think classic outfits can work well with more 'trendy' shoes...shoes are easy to experiment with and can make so much difference to an outfit. Usually the first thing I notice when I look at what somebody is wearing!

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Tia4 · 28/02/2016 11:20

Thanks MizK, agree re the leather jacket. I am holding out until I reach goal weight and will search out my perfect one! With shoes I have to look for "sensible and comfy" now due to health condition :( Hate it!!!

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Floisme · 28/02/2016 12:48

For me, its hair and - if you wear them - specs.

I don't mean hair colour - I think grey looks fine, it's the style/cut.
If you do wear glasses, then I think up to date frames make a huge difference.

In my experience, if those two things look modern then people assume you're modern too.

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Tia4 · 28/02/2016 14:17

My hair is cut well *Foisme so I have that covered. Do you mean going with the latest frames featured in opticians ads? I know they'd need to suit my face but hadn't given much thought to that so thanks! How about clothes wise? Any advice on fashion that doesn't scream "I'm not really 50+!"? Perhaps opinions on what always*looks good...

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Tia4 · 28/02/2016 14:19

Sorry Floisme!

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cissyfuss · 28/02/2016 14:24

I agree with Mizk... Shoes can really direct your outfit... I think metallic flats would inject a bit of 'modern', like those below.

I also think dress to your shape (sounds like you're prob already on to this) if you like classic then play around with proportions and balance wide with fitting. I like Cos for their clean lines but interesting cuts and occasional bonkers colours!

Talking colour... a great haircut with a bright lippy and minimal make up always looks stylish and modern (IMO)

As an older mum...
As an older mum...
As an older mum...
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Annarose2014 · 28/02/2016 14:29

There are tons of cool flat shoes around now. Brogues, Chelsea boots, biker boots, Toms etc.

The secret is to get them in a non boring finish. Go for the cool metallic or studded ones.

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Annarose2014 · 28/02/2016 14:30

There's a blog called That's Not My Age you should check out.

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Floisme · 28/02/2016 15:13

Yes up to date frames. I'm not normally one for following trends for the sake of it but I do think with glasses, it makes a huge difference. Within reason obviously. I really like cats eye style frames because they have a bit of a cheekbone lifting effect.

I'll have to think a bit harder about clothes cos I'm not sure there's anything that looks good on everyone. But I think where you shop makes a difference. E.g you could find a classic jersey dress at Whistles, Cos, Phase 8, Jigsaw, Hobbs, H&M, White Stuff etc etc but the ones in Whistles, Cos or H&M will probably look the most modern because all the little details will be bang up to date.

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PollyPerky · 28/02/2016 16:57

It's really hard to generalise, and it depends what your lifestyle is and if you need smart gear for work, but as someone in the same age group I wear pretty much the same as most younger women but with a few exceptions.
Ie straight or skinny jeans and boots - ankle and knee high. Trench coat, nice knitwear, wool dresses with biker type boots or ankle boots, smarter trousers and nice tops, a good coat, quality bag but not blingy. I prefer a minimalist look in neutral colours- grey, navy, blues, black only for trousers.
mumsy to me is a certain boring type of black ankle boot, dull mid heel court shoes (often worn with trousers) , hair too short unless it's a really great cut, clothes that don't really fit well, droopy ankle length skirts, too much bright and patterned stuff ( Per Una), with make up it's lipsticks that aren't flattering, pearly or frosted eye shadows (in blue!), foundation that is too thick or too dark, hair that is dyed a flat colour all over and looks dead , the same boring black cheap handbag worn with everything....

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MamaLazarou · 28/02/2016 17:20

For me, a woman looks stylish if she has a definite sense of individual style and isn't just wearing the same as everyone else.

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herecomesthsun · 28/02/2016 20:07

Well, I lost 2 or 3 stone in my 40s and thought I would love a leather jacket, but it seemed to me that it was a more complicated choice than in earlier decades. I felt I erm wanted to look more classy than urban/scruffy at that stage in my life and this required some deliberation, though I am sure it can be done. I do have a pleather one I still like, but not in black, which is more of a challenge now. YMMV.

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Floisme · 28/02/2016 23:20

I'm going to nominate my ex boss. She was a very classic dresser who never, ever looked frumpy and I think one reason was she wore interesting jewellry that was always just slightly out of kilter with the rest of the outfit e.g. a masculine watch or a knuckleduster coctail ring.

(Plus she had fabulous arms, damn her.)

Re leather jackets - I'd say they were more classic than scruffy though obviously it depends on style.

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Annarose2014 · 29/02/2016 09:02

One thing that really ages someone I think is when they've worn the same gold jewellery for the past 30 years.

Chunky silver jewellery always looks amazing on the over 50s.

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Floisme · 29/02/2016 10:02

Going slightly older, I think Diane Lockhart (Christina Baranksi) in The Good Wife does that too: very classic (and expensive) business dress but with cool accessories, especially jewelry and specs. She often wears strong colour too - no less is more for Diane!

Sorry Julianna Margulies but I think she knocks you out of the park. It makes me cheer to see a woman in her 60s dressing with such confidence.

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SoyYo · 29/02/2016 10:33

I think being the "right" weight (healthy BMI, not too thin not too podgy) really helps. I noticed after Xmas I was looking a bit "middle aged" (just put on some weight in an absent minded way if you know what I mean) so I joined Slimworld...highly sceptical but in 6 weeks I have shifted 12 pounds, and only have 9 pounds to go. Very easy to follow, more of a healthy eating plan.
Agree on a nice leather jacket or two (I own 3 Muubaas, they are all lovely!).
What I discovered recently is the power of expertly applied make up, I went to the Charlotte Tilbury shop in Covent Garden for a make up session with a stylist and it was amazing and not at all plastered on...like me but a much improved version of me. It cost £35 but it was free as I could exchange it for a purchase (which I did). I recommend for instant confidence boost!
What I do not like is mutton dressed as lamb...a woman needs to know her limitations!Smile

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Floisme · 29/02/2016 10:37

And that phrase gives me the rage.

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SoyYo · 29/02/2016 10:42

It was tongue in cheek.

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getoffthattabletnow · 29/02/2016 11:52

I'm 52 with several young kids and wear the same types of clothes as the young mothers but better quality.My coat is wool/cashmere or Alpaca.My Boots are Duo or whatever the current name is.Knitwear is cashmere - mainly from Tk Maxx/Whistles sale.I need more structured clothes as my body shape has definitely changed.I do buy M&S basics like jeans/leggings though.Cheap disposable fashion now mostly looks dreadful on. Unlike on my 16 year old dd with the fresh face of youth.
Diamond studs or gold hoops are classics and i've worn them for years.I do think it's aging at all.My skin tone looks awful in chunky silver so prescriptive advice about jewellery just doesn't work.

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Jackie0 · 29/02/2016 12:03

I can't wear silver either .
My costume jewellery is from Follie Follie or similar, all those Accessorize fun necklaces and cheap stacking bangles look tacky on me now.
Basics from M&S . Dresses, tops and jackets tend to come from independent boutiques rather than high Street chains.
I find I have to spend more to look good.
I really need to do something about my weight though, it's really taking the fun out of clothes.
Make up every ( working/ leaving the house ) day.

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PollyPerky · 29/02/2016 12:11

I'm with your getoff.
My DD actually covets some of my clothes because I wear similar styles to her (late 20s) but 'toned down' and better quality. It helps that we are the same size- 8-10. I won't buy H&M or Dotty P any more (haven't for years) but invest in nice knitwear from Jigsaw, White Company,etc.
I think gold / silver depends on your colouring. I am cool toned and suit silver better and have ditched all my gold stuff.

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SoyYo · 29/02/2016 12:36

Agree on cheapo fabrics/disposable clothes: they don't work for me either ...for work I stick to classic styles (boring but necessary Hobbs, etc) but since I am home based 50% of the time when I am not travelling with work I can experiment with my inner bohemian and rock chick the rest of the time which makes for a very interesting wardrobe Hmm which I think it is still age appropriate.
DS's are now 19 (college) and 23 (working) so I have no clue what younger mothers wear at school gates these days...
Shoes need/must be comfortable. Nothing is as ageing as a pained expression or being unable to walk fast.
Jewellery is highly personal, so difficult to make recommendations, agree on diamond studs. I like both silver and gold, and a bit of (real) bling never hurt anyone... it is all a matter of matching it to the occasion and outfit.
I also like some of Amrita Singh jewellery (some is fab some is gaudy, none of it expensive as far as custom jewellery goes) for channelling the inner bohemian.
A good smile, white teeth also help! Grin
Make up: Less is More IMO but the C.Tilbury experience did make me realise how incredible you can look for a special occasion.

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GeorginaWorsley · 29/02/2016 14:20

I'm late 40s with loads of childrenWinkbut youngest now 10 so out if toddler years apart from grandchildren (but that's another story ).
I agree with well cut and coloured hair or if you are lucky enough to have a 'nice' shade of grey it can look fabulous.
Very well applied but not over done make up,no harsh eyeliner or scouse brow.
Pared down simplicity is my watch word now in clothes,I like a neutral palette of navy, grey, white, black, taupe and rarely do pattern.
I spend more and buy less, so shop more at mid to higher end high street.
I think being healthy weight and reasonably fit is tremendously important both for physical and mental wellbeing too.
I exercise daily and am a bit addicted as I have that sort of addictive personality but it makes me feel wonderful.

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citychick · 29/02/2016 14:42

Hello.
I am mid 40's, but always people watching for ideas on how other ladies 40/50+ are making the most of themselves.

I saw a lady earlier today who looked amazing. She must have been in her 50's. Classically dressed, in black or dark grey. Beautifully cut clothing. Leather handbag in similar colour. Then I saw her shoes. She had on the funkiest pair of trainers I'd ever seen a lady of "that" age wear. They were black with white soles. Must have been Nike or similar. She looked comfy and stylish.

So yes, to paired down simplicity. And comfy shoes don't have to come out of a horrible catalogue!

I love trainers and they are so on trend at the moment. Check out Pinterest. There are some wonderful styling ideas to be found there.

good luck!

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GeorginaWorsley · 29/02/2016 16:27

Agree re trainers!
My default outfit is coated skinnies in black, navy or plum teamed with trainers on black, grey, navy or white .

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