DD and Clothes...

(56 Posts)
LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 10:19:15

DD is 14. Left to her own devices, she would entirely equip herself from Go Outdoors, and then feel self-conscious when going anywhere smart, or to a party, because she would have nothing to wear.

She does largely equip herself from Go Outdoors. She hates clothes shopping. And she is a very non-teenaged shape. She's not fat, she just has the ILs' physique (think Gimli in Lord of the Rings, with feet that are practically cubes - buying school shoes is a torment.) When it comes to non-school clothes, she has nothing to wear apart from jeans, Go Outdoors trousers, a few pairs of leggings, a couple of jumpers and fleeces, and a summer dress or two. Shoes? Sports sandals, boots, wellies, Sainsbury's knock-off converse-type things, and Clark's ladies extra-extra-extra-wide Mary Janes for school (her feet are wider than the Clark's width measurer will measure - H+).

I want to make the most of the sales, and I want to find things that will fit her and suit her. She's 5'4", and her vitals are 35" bust, 28.5" waist, and 40" hips. She is chunky of leg (muscle), and sturdy of shoulder.

She hates glitter and plunging necklines. She is not keen on her arse.

All suggestions gratefully received.

LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 11:36:36

Bump.

NeedsAMousekatool Sun 27-Dec-15 11:45:24

What does she need clothes for? I mean, what situations rather than why clothes are needed by people.

burnishedsilver Sun 27-Dec-15 11:51:08

I had to look up who Gimli is. I cannot believe you could describe your daughter like that. Poor kid. There's a very negative vibe coming accross in your post.

If she is that difficult to dress I suggest that you try a personal shopper. A lot of shopping centres have personal shoppers so you're not limited to one shop.

TheBestChocolateIsFree Sun 27-Dec-15 11:53:47

I wouldn't try and get her into dresses unless you absolutely have to get one for a wedding or a funeral or something. It's too big a culture shock, and for the number of times she'd wear them it would be a waste of money.

I'd get her a well fitting pair of immaculate black jeans (Gap Real Straight worth a try with those measurements) and a few nice tops - at least one plain or subtly patterned for more formal occasions (again the Gap sale (women not kids) worth a look for someone with her tastes) and at least one with a fun design that reflects her tastes - owls/unicorns/cogs/galaxies/daleks/whatever. And a pair of decent comfy leather ankle boots to wear with them for winter maybe with a low heel to make her feel dressed up - in summer a clean colourful pair of converse-a-likes should be perfectly fine for non smart occasions when you want to look nice.

But while you go round, do wave any dresses you see under her nose in case any of them take her fancy.

tuilamum Sun 27-Dec-15 11:55:47

My friend is a similar shape and she likes to wear high-waisted skirts (hers are quite tight but if your DD is self-conscious about her bum then maybe a-line?) and scoop neck long sleeved tops
If she has broad shoulders I definitely recommend long sleeves
Also try casual long shirts with leggings, she may or may not suit a belt with it but that's up to her
Try boots like doc martins or similar cheaper versions if you can find the size
If she likes jeans see if you can find a decent pair of high waisted ones as they can look smart
This is all based on your DDs willingness to participate, if she's happy in what she wears already then I wouldn't be forcing her to change

DurhamDurham Sun 27-Dec-15 11:56:08

I would just let her wear what she is comfortable in, at 14 she is still finding her own way and developing her own style ( my youngest was a goth at that age ) and you have to let them get on with it.
Buying clothes she doesn't like will make her feel worse not better.

TheBestChocolateIsFree Sun 27-Dec-15 11:57:33

New Look and H&M are good places to start for fun designs of tops - both women and teen areas worth a look.

Gruach Sun 27-Dec-15 11:59:00

I want to make the most of the sales, and I want to find things that will fit her and suit her. She's 5'4", and her vitals are 35" bust, 28.5" waist, and 40" hips. She is chunky of leg (muscle), and sturdy of shoulder. She hates glitter and plunging necklines. She is not keen on her arse.

At the risk of spoiling the Christmas spirit - this is not nice.

Too much about what you want.

What does it matter what her "vital statistics" are? She's a teenage girl. As long as she's not arrested for indecent exposure who cares what she wears.

And why on earth would a 14 year old ever have to consider plunging necklines?

Leave the poor girl alone. Half the fun of being that age is choosing what to wear for specific events and running out to the shops. Can't you let her do that when she's ready?

burnishedsilver Sun 27-Dec-15 12:09:07

If the in laws are the same shape maybe they're best placed to shop with her.

LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 18:34:46

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I just wanted a few ideas of things she could try on that she might a) like and b) find useful. The black Gap jeans and the DMs are both good suggestions, ditto high-waisted skirts.

I wouldn't be bothering about her clothes style at all, except that SHE is the one who feels self-conscious when she realises that she hasn't got anything 'nice' to wear to a friend's birthday party, or a family get-together, and SHE is the one who clearly feels delighted when she gets a new garment which fits, and is useful and comfy and looks nice.

As for those who think this is about what I want... er, no. I said she didn't like plunging necklines as I didn't want people to suggest specific things I knew she wouldn't wear. I gave her stats (anonymously) to give anyone with a better idea than I have about teenage clothes some idea of her shape, so they wouldn't be recommending skinny jeans or whatever.

I love this kid to bits: that's why I want her to feel good about herself.

Fairylea Sun 27-Dec-15 18:42:03

I don't think there's anything wrong with recommending skinny jeans! I have yet to meet a teenager who doesn't love skinny jeans and when you're young they look great whatever shape you are. You can dress them up or down, plain black ones can do just about anything. A 28ins waist and 40ins hips is a perfect hour glass, nothing wrong with that at all!

I agree with the others about the negative vibe coming across in your post, your dd sounds great. My dd is 13 and mostly shops at new look and primark - she goes for an adult size 6-8 rather than a teen size. I'd go to new look and let your dd have a browse and see if there's anything she likes, if not take her back to Go Outdoors and let her go wild!

Jammygal Sun 27-Dec-15 18:43:27

My daughter lives in jeans, shorts with leggings(without in summer) t shirts and hoodies teamed with a pair of nikes! She is 13 .
I'm just glad she's not flaunting her boobs in tight black dresses on Instagram like so many of her classmates. Don't worry about it ....it sounds fine to me😄

LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 18:54:08

Fairy, my DD IS great: bloody lovely, actually. She's the one who doesn't like her arse, not me...

New Look is a good idea too: I'll take her in there tomorrow and let her loose.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Sun 27-Dec-15 19:10:44

Dd was a little like this.....didn't have much idea what she wanted to wear but knew she wanted to get a bit more with it.

We had a trip to a shopping centre and our first stop was Costa in the middle of the "mall". Perfect teenage girl watching potential on a Saturday morning and she got ideas of what look she was going for.

We then headed off to Primark and H&M. She pretty much lives in jeggings and tops. But jeggings and a smarter top with a nice pair of boots can look smart. She tends to wear Uggs in winter, has some Rocket Dog slip Ons for summer. She's also got deck shoes and a pair of DMs. toms might be good footwear.

Other places to get ideas might be YouTube videos. I don't know any specific teen vloggers thag I could recommend but you can start off by searching for Primark Haul and see what you find.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Sun 27-Dec-15 19:13:59

And yes dd is 14yo now and some photos of her cohort ive seen over xmas stunned me.....wearing tight, short Lipsy type dresses. I'm not judging but that's not dds style, she is far more casual. Thankfully most of her friends seem to have a similar style so she isn't getting teased for not wearing such stuff.

Kids have to find their own style and be happy with that, not dress how they think others expect them to. But I know what it's like to have a teen who wants to change a bit but no idea where to start!

LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 20:14:53

Thanks, WhoTheFuck.
Second suggestion for DMs... I think she'd look cool in them. I'll point her in their direction and see what happens.

TheBestChocolateIsFree Sun 27-Dec-15 20:16:55

I agree that much like an adult woman, she doesn't need a whole new look, she just needs to have a nicer/sparklier/more colourful/more fun/newer version of what she normally feels happy in. I think most of us have "smart" clothes which other people wouldn't necessarily see the difference in but which make us feel like we've made an effort.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Sun 27-Dec-15 20:20:31

Oh and Converse might be an idea?

bonzo77 Sun 27-Dec-15 20:37:24

I was your daughter. Still am really, though I'm slimmer now. Jeans in the cut she likes but that fit well. Doc martens (they do lovely biker boots if she wants trendy). Smarter branded versions of what she likes (so the look is more "sports-luxe" rather than trainspotter-in-anorak). For evening going out a subtly sparkly sweater or top in a shape she likes. Maybe a short skirt in denim or cord to wear over very opaque leggings. This is the wardrobe I have now, and what I wish I'd had as a teenager. Hair she likes and can style, ditto make up if she likes.

bonzo77 Sun 27-Dec-15 20:40:14

Sorry, meant to add, really proper nice trainers. At around 18 I got a pair of silver Nike air and I just felt so much more "done" in them than vans or converse.

LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 20:45:14

WhoThe Fuck, she has knock-off Converse. I'm not sure the actual brand would fit her feet.

A cord skirt over leggings might work: she likes skirts over leggings.

LumelaMme Sun 27-Dec-15 20:47:34

bonzo, she has lovely hair, cut as she likes it. I'll ask her about trainers.

BikeRunSki Sun 27-Dec-15 20:51:48

If she gas chunky calves, she may find it difficult to find skinny jeans that go over them. I have this problem, but FatFace jeans and Sainsbury's trousers generally fit. Clearly a 14 yo may not chose to buy their clothes in these places.

Loveleopardprint Sun 27-Dec-15 20:58:59

Does she have nice friends that she could go shopping with? Or an older cousin. My DDs like shopping with friends and trying on crazy clothes but they normally come home with something suitable.

My 13yr old dd likes urban outfitters. They have loads of comfy and trendy tips. Then she dresses them up with a long necklace for certain occasions. A necklace can be less intimidating than a full on sparkly number. She also has a pleather biker jacket which looks smart.

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