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Style & Beauty

Sorting myself out - give me a simple 'makeoever' ? (pics in profile)

48 replies

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 29/07/2015 22:44

I've given in to admitting how totally crap I feel about myself. The past 5 years have washed away half of me, due to lack of help (and for a while school) for my severely autistic son who needs constant attention, and I'm completely on my own. Haven't seen friends for nearly 3 years,stopped taking care of myself like I used to and have ballooned in size although that's shedding. I haven't looked in a mirror for heaven knows how long, aside from a compact size one that I can only see little bits of me in and in changing rooms a couple of weeks ago that made me want to cry! I've always been insecure about the way I look (abusive parents) and really have gone to pot, probably been slightly depressed for a while but hey ho! I'm desperate to be me again and the bit I'm really struggling with, the rest I can manage, is looking like 'me' or just like someone who hasn't been dragged through a hedge backwards after being hit with every ugly stick going!!!

Anyway, I'm 33, roughly an 18 but smaller waist. Hourglass with 38J boobage!! Being hourglass still means the weight is chunked all over my entire body making me look even larger. My hair is an issue colour wise, I'm naturally some shade of brown, golden brown when I was a kid but it darkened to a yucky dull darker brown as I got older. I've been every shade of red/ginger going and have gone back to a brown but am stupidy insecure.

So, my needs are help with hair colour, maybe a cut that is manageable with my curls (although I tend to just chuck it in ponytail) and some nice but relaxed outfits for during the day, I don't really go anywhere, work at home and only go out with ds really although respite is starting again so I can venture into town and maybe one day to the theatre or something?!

Only requirements with clothes is, aside from being nice but not ott, I don't want cleavage showing, I always cover my shoulders/upper arms, and I don't show legs unless covered in leggings!

Just braved temporary pics in profile for hair help. Two are two years old, the last one bravely taken today...I don't do photos Blush

Please help me, it's like my sticking point and people aren't taking me very seriously with the state I've become (pics don't quite show that tbf)

OP posts:
Blarblarblar · 29/07/2015 22:49

Sorry Triptrap I tried but could see no pic Sad

AmazonsForEver · 29/07/2015 22:49

Your hair is beautiful! It's so gorgeous, but it must take so much looking after.

Mamabird3 · 29/07/2015 22:53

I can't see any pics in your profile, but to work out what hair colour will suit you you'll need to work out if you're cool, warm or neutral toned. There's plenty on the internet to help you work that out, then from there you just pick a dye that is either golden or warm for warm toned, cool or ash for cool toned and natural for neutral toned. Cut wise would depend on your hair type and texture, face shape and what you want to emphasise or hide. Clothing colours will be easy as well depending on your warm cool or neutral tones.
Ps, the best thing you can do is learn to love how you are, I know it's easier said than done and it don't exactly practice what I preach with regard to self esteem but confidence really does shine through.
I hope that helps a little! Smile

Mamabird3 · 29/07/2015 22:54

I don't even, not it don't! Stupid auto correct!

Snoozebox · 29/07/2015 22:54

Wow your hair is amazing...both in curl invests and colour...please don't cut it much!

Sounds like you have a great waist....hourglass is such an enviable shape...wear clothes which emphasise it and nip in at the waist to show it off.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 29/07/2015 22:55

Should be in the 'view triptraps photos' bit Blar

Thanks Amazon :) It's a pain to look after, hence not bothering much now, I just chuck it in a low pony and look dreadful :(

Any ideas on colour for it?

OP posts:
ShipShapeAhoy · 29/07/2015 22:56

Hi op, your hair is stunning and you have a beautiful smile. I loved your hair that red colour you had it but can imagine it looking lovely in a glossy brown like Kate Middleton's of colour. I'm not an expert on clothes but will have a think. Sorry to hear you've had such a tough time. Flowers

ShipShapeAhoy · 29/07/2015 22:58

If you can't view the photos and you're on your mobile, click 'view desktop site' and then they should show up. I've had that problem before, it seems to be a bug with the mobile site.

ShipShapeAhoy · 29/07/2015 23:02

Would you wear this sort of thing with leggings and a cardigan or am I way off?

steppemum · 29/07/2015 23:06

Trip Trap, you are lovely!

Your hair is fab, and I like the colour, soft reddish brown.
The curl is gorgeous

You have a lovely face and a great smile.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 29/07/2015 23:06

Tbh ShipShape it would probably look tent like on me, I still very much go in and out so I worry about that kind of top. No idea if the shape would be ok or not really, I just imagine it would make me look bigger but slim the legs?

OP posts:
steppemum · 29/07/2015 23:07

I am no good at clothes, but for hair, get it in great condition, glossy and curly and let it speak for itself

frick · 29/07/2015 23:07

Hello....haven't got whole lot of advice style/beauty wise..being a wing it kind of girl...but I just want to say that you are gorgeous..and I'm jealous of your hair!
I think your colouring is beautiful and maybe a good place to start for building your confidence would be to experiment with what colours you feel good in.....I am thinking blues and greens would be beautiful with your hair and eyes (again..must state am no expert!)
When I went through a process of finding myself again/feeling better about myself after some rough years I started going to see a beautician once a month for little bits...manicure/eye brows ...(whispers) waxing my annoying facial hair..I found someone I was really comfy with and it was much cheaper than I thought it would be..about a tenner for eye brows..so I could manage a treatment a month and it just made me feel more "done" and as though I was looking after/treating myself.
I also started looked on some style blogs to see what styles I was more drawn to, and to get some ideas, and gradually it influenced my choices when shopping......mainly second hands from e bay....but it has been a process of trial and error to see how I feel comfy. Having said that, on bad days some blogs can seem very "perfect" and can make me feel a bit crappy..so beware of the bullshit!
I also learnt to meditate which i think has been the biggest thing that has helped me to feel more confident and positive about myself generally..and, in my case, loosing a few pounds also helped!
Good luck..i hope you learn to see how lovely you are.

DelphiniumBlue · 29/07/2015 23:12

Just looked at the pictures, and your hair is absolutely gorgeous. It looks beautiful in either the red or brown colours in your photos, and I see you have quite pale skin. So if you are toying with a different colour, it's probably best not to go too dark in case it looks too harsh. Maybe a golden or light mahogany brown.
Have to say, you don't look as if you are an 18, do you need that size to cover your boobage? Just thinking that it might be worth trying Pepperberry or similar to get tops which are big enough up top but smaller around the waist. Also are you sure you are a 38? I'm wondering if you need a bra intervention. If you post the actual measurements then I'm sure someone will assist with that. Only saying this because you look quite slim in the photos ( although I know we can only see your face).
As far as clothes are concerned, am assuming you need comfort and ease of movement. Could you say a little more about what styles and colours you like?

DelphiniumBlue · 29/07/2015 23:15

And what colour eyes you've got? Can't quite see from the pictures.

ShipShapeAhoy · 29/07/2015 23:16

I think this would look lovely but feel that you would disagree!

m.evans.co.uk/h5/product?productId=20334669

I agree with Frick that blues and greens would look good on you. Have you got any clothes that you feel good in that you could post a link to as a guide?

IDismyname · 29/07/2015 23:17

Im a similar shape and size to you. I often wear tops form Kettlewell Colours in my kind of colours, and then the tie fronted cardigan you can get in Woolovers. They do a nice cotton and silk ones, and they're not too expensive either.

If you have the budget, get a pair of NYDJ jeans. They generally make you look a size smaller,,and will fit you better around the waist.

Sorry haven't figured out how to link on my iPad.

Anyway, that's what I wear! It's pretty simple, but works for me.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 29/07/2015 23:18

An 18 often won't cover my boobage Delphinium. My chest is 48 inches Blush My face never catches up properly with the weight gain either, which can look rather bizarre I think. I have lost some weight though.

OP posts:
TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 29/07/2015 23:21

My eyes are kinda multi-coloured delphinium and change with mood, light and clothing etc. Browny bit in the middle, then a greeny colour with a different colour in a ring around the outside, with blueish flecks according to an old friend!!!

OP posts:
FunnyNameHere · 29/07/2015 23:27

I'm a really judgey person and wouldn't bullshit you... YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!!! I love you with the ginger hair in the first pic. You have a GORGEOUS face! If you're feeling a bit of a chubster, just carry on following a diet/exercise plan until you're happy.

I have to say, working from home is v depressing. I did it for years and piled on a tonne! Can you look towards getting a job where you meet people regularly? That'll remind you how gorgeous you are. :)

AmazonsForEver · 29/07/2015 23:37

Well, re-reading, you certainly don't look a state!
Do you have good bras? Large works need good care. Read the bra intervention threads, measure yourself well, and get a couple of good ones.

mombie · 29/07/2015 23:57

I agree with the other posters about the beautician and getting out and about to feel human again. I have just gone back to work after 8 years as a sahm and have found that these little things have made the biggest difference to me. Feeling like you are investing in yourself feels a bit strange and almost extravagant after a long spell, but it reminds me that such a world still exists.

I am a 16 and tend to wear longer tees and floaty shirt dresses, or printed trousers , Jazzed up with jewellery /sunnies or funky flats. You would look lovely in emerald greens and bright blues. A little splash of colour always lifts my mood.

Otherwise, your hair and colouring is lovely. Please don't cut it all off. I imagine it looks lovely in messy up dos or just roughly pinned.

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mombie · 29/07/2015 23:59

Yes the bra! I love my triumph Doreen's. They are literally scaffolding for big taboo dies and create a waistline that you forget existed

DelphiniumBlue · 30/07/2015 00:08

So I think what others have said about blues and greens is probably right then.
I've found that the right colours really make a difference, and that even though black and grey do suit me, I feel more polished in colours.

I think with your shape I'd go for slightly soft,drapey tops, maybe with a belt. Can you do jeans?
H & M have a good selection of plain t shirts in lovely colours, like this

www.hm.com/gb/product/87752?article=87752-A#article=87752-I

and this www.hm.com/gb/product/82361?article=82361-A#article=82361-C,
both would look nice with an embellished belt tucked into jeans.
I don't know your budget but Phase Eight have a lovely dark emerald linen long top, which you could belt, think it's in the sale.

www.phase-eight.com/fcp/product/phase-eight/tops/louise-linen-top/301765693

PastaLaFeasta · 30/07/2015 00:30

The hair colour in the first pic really lightens your face, it may be the sunlight but matching that shade would be lovely. It's also nicer to have curls in a lighter colour, I find my wavy dark brown doesn't look good compared to the same waves in lighter colours or blonde. You can see more of the texture when it's lighter. It's also more flatering for pale skin tones.

I struggle with flattering clothes if they aren't fitted, also have a small waist. Anything you can tie around the middle is more flattering as are two piece outfits - pencil skirt and tucked in shirt for example. Investing in well made classic trousers and skirts is a good idea as you can chop and change the tops easily and more cheaply. Again fitted tops with skim over the problem areas but define the waist are ideal. Don't be afraid to show a little cleavage - try bravissimo etc for tops for bigger boobs as you won't need such a big size which would swamp your waist.

I'm a similar age and am considering a make up lesson as my 20s make up isn't going to suit much longer and I need help with hiding my bad skin at times, more so as I get older. I think emphasising your eyes would be really flattering, making them stand out more. I just bought eye make up brushes to help me learn to do this better. There are loads of you tube tutorials but I'm finding them tricky to copy.

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