I need help dressing my husband

[SharingMichelle]

He has absolutely no interest in what he wears.

We live somewhere very hot and he wears baggy shorts and a t-shirt or striped polo shirt every day. With sandals. The overgrown toddler look that men favour these days.

The problem is what to wear in the evenings. We go out a lot to parties, dinners, cocktail dos, bbqs - usually outside on the beach or in gardens, and he says that shorts and a polo shirt is a normal and reasonable thing to wear out to dinner. His concession is to choose reasonably clean shorts and a polo shirt with almost no holes.

I have vague notions of him wearing pale linen trousers and a James May floral shirt. The sandals are non-negotiable. I have decided to buy him something and hope that he might be persuaded to wear it, but having spend an hour online at Gap and John Lewis I'm a bit flummoxed.

He's very big - tall and wide and a little overweight. Sort of eccentric I suppose. He's very traditional. It would need to be something classic - absolutely nothing trendy, and nothing uncomfortable or fiddly. He's in his 40s. Oh I think I have even less idea than him.

Is anyone interested in advising me?

[FenellaFellorick]

what do the other men wear at these events? Is he right that what he wears is normal and reasonable?

If he wants to wear shorts and tshirts then perhaps he should just buy new ones so that they aren't scruffy and full of holes?

I mean, if he's showing up to a formal dinner and everyone else is suited and booted then obviously he needs to sort it out but if everyone is fairly casual then he should just go along similar lines?

Please don't make him wear floral shirts. They are hideous.

[FenellaFellorick]

Are you having a laugh? they're foul.

[SharingMichelle]

Other men wear chinos and shirts I guess? He's definitely usually the only one in shorts. And sometimes other men will come in shorts and say "ha ha I knew I wouldn't be the only one in shorts when I saw Mr Sharing was coming tonight". I don't mind him setting the bar for minimal style amongst our group of friends, but when we go to new things or out with new people I do think it would be nice if he looked like he'd made a bit of effort. When it's indoors at a place where shorts aren't allowed he wears his work trousers. With sandals :/

And I do think that he cares so very little that if I got him something reasonable and said it was important to me that he wore it he would, as long as it wasn't too hot or uncomfortable or trendy.

[SharingMichelle]

Ha I like a man in a floral shirt.

[annandale]

What material are his current clothes? I would go for something in the same material so it feels familiar.
How are his feet? I have introduced my husband to cracked heel cream and treating fungal nails, so that his feet look good in sandals.
Shorts are tricky for the very tall but I am with him on comfort. Actually like a pp I would just work on him having enough new shorts and polo shirts so that you could ask for a bottom line if them being in good condition. Also plain colours not always stripes.

[FenellaFellorick]

Then perhaps get him a couple of pairs of chinos and a couple of shirts similar to what you've seen the others wear?

Does he hate the heat? I do. I would hate to live somewhere hot and I can imagine that I'd always wear as little as I possibly could without getting arrested I mean

[SharingMichelle]

100% cotton. It really is hot and sticky here. Synthetic fabrics not a good idea.

What's a pp?

I think I will get him some nice new shorts and polo shirts (for him to treat with suspicion and ignore) AND I'll get him one pair of 'evening trousers' and a shirt.

[SharingMichelle]

I can't find well made chinos in the right size and colour at Gap or JL. Where else could I try? I'm looking now for pale yellow or maybe a pastel colour chinos. Must be a colour he can't wear to work or they'll end up trashed as work trousers.

[NorahDentressangle]

It can look like a lack of respect to me. If the hosts have gone to the trouble of buying food and booze and laying it on the least you can do is dress smartly.

Perhaps you can dress really nicely, hair, makeup, jewellery and then chat to as many admiring men as possible and he might take the hint.

[SharingMichelle]

Exactly Norah. It's about looking like you've made an effort when your hosts have gone to a lot of trouble.

I always do dress up - we go out with him in tatty shorts and me all done up to the nines - well seven and a halfs anyway. And ROFL at the idea of him getting jealous of me talking to other men. He'd just be delighted I was having a lovely party.

[FenellaFellorick]

What shops do you have where you live? Obviously you're not in the UK, what with your use of the word 'hot'

Where do your friends buy their clothes? Where do the locals?

[FenellaFellorick]

Actually, I am really sorry for assuming that you are not local to the country you are currently in I just got the feel that you're working abroad but realise you've never said or suggested that.

[SharingMichelle]

No no, spot on assumption Fenella. Almost no shops here. Am shopping online.

[MissMuffetisin]

Have you tried Debenhams ? Husband iLife's in their stuff and there's a50 % sale on , so not much lost if he hates it ! They do chinos under their own label and short sleeve casual shirts. Both floral and plain .

[FenellaFellorick]

If he's a big chap, what about something like jacamo?

It's not high fashion or anything but it's good enough.

here

[SharingMichelle]

What about these?

trousers

[SharingMichelle]

Are they something your dreadful golfing uncle would wear?

[FenellaFellorick]

crikey. That's er, that's certainly yellow I like the stone.

[annandale]

What material are his current clothes? I would go for something in the same material so it feels familiar.
How are his feet? I have introduced my husband to cracked heel cream and treating fungal nails, so that his feet look good in sandals.
Shorts are tricky for the very tall but I am with him on comfort. Actually like a pp I would just work on him having enough new shorts and polo shirts so that you could ask for a bottom line if them being in good condition. Also plain colours not always stripes.

[WyrdByrd]

Have you tried Next? Joe Browns also worth a look for shirts. Also try Jacamo and High and Mighty if sizing is an issue.

My DH is mid forties and generally has quite good dress sense but I had to laugh when he trundled off to golf the other week in smart shorts and a black and cream polo shirt - he looked like he was channelling Charlie Harper from Two and Half Men !

[FenellaFellorick]

good grief

My husband is banned from buying clothes since the Hideous Jumper Incident of 2003

Left to his own devices, he'd wear this shit.

(for the lurking frothers, he's not actually banned from buying clothes, I am making a joke about his terrible taste in jumpers)

[SharingMichelle]

Am chuckling at Charlie Harper, the Hideous Jumper Incident and the lurking frothers [shark music].

Have never heard of Jacamo. Am going to investigate. House of Fr looking quite promising but their site is playing havoc with my feeble internet connection.

Because I have to pay so much for delivery out here I had hoped to get everything from one shop - but of course eldest daughter has now chosen a nice little haul from Gap. Everywhere seems to have a sale atm. Wonder if I can persuade her to switch allegiance...

[MrsRossPoldark]

Is that chap actually wearing the sweater or is this a 50s version of PhotoShop, as his head doesn't fit the rest of his body [uness there's a corset under that sweater?]

[NorahDentressangle]

People were skinny in the 50s MrsR

That is a knitting pattern pic, you'd have to love him lots to make that, and includes 4 different colours of wool!! (no central heating then)