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Lesbian wedding ideas please :)

42 replies

notthestereotype · 06/05/2015 11:06

Hey,

I originally posted this in chat, but then got a few suggestions to put it here, which makes sense really! Smile


My dp and I have been together for 3 years and we recently got engaged Smile We're both feminine, but my dp is definitely less so and pretty much lives in her jeans, converse and various geeky comic book t shirts grin So you can imagine my surprise when we were looking at wedding dresses, what I thought would be for me and she starts drooling over the extra pretty pretty, floaty, feminine dresses, for her! I didn't necessarily think we'd be having the 'typical' one in a dress, one in a tux weddings, but I wasn't expecting her taste to be more traditional than mine! Obviously she can wear what she likes, but I'd like us to compliment each other. I've seen some lesbian weddings where the brides are wearing identical dresses and it's just not for me. Also, I'm not really into the whole rainbow style wedding. Don't get me wrong, I completely support what it symbolises, obviously, but I'd prefer it to just be about us iyswim.

Ok, so I'm a size 10, 5 8", long dark hair, pale skin and green eyes. I'm nearly 31. My dp is a size 12, same height, mid-long reddish hair and is also pale. She is 28.

I would love something elegant, fitted and slightly sexy. Possibly with a bit of lace and probably strapless.

So, any ideas? smile

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notthestereotype · 06/05/2015 11:09

oh dear. A couple of the emoticons don't appear to have worked second time round Confused

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GraysAnalogy · 06/05/2015 11:12

You're username is notthestereotype yet you think there's such a thing as a 'lesbian wedding' style Confused

Why don't you both just go out and try dresses on together? Both of you find a dress you like.

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HerrenaHarridan · 06/05/2015 11:12

My best friend and her wife got married last year, they both chose the same colour (white) in different styles and fabrics.
They looked stunning and definitely didn't clash.

If you want to feel coordinated you could pick a colour for accessories too.

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HerrenaHarridan · 06/05/2015 11:15

Here they are.

Lesbian wedding ideas please :)
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HerrenaHarridan · 06/05/2015 11:16

Grays Shock

No need to be like that ffs

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GraysAnalogy · 06/05/2015 11:19

Like what? I pointed out the irony. As if there isn't enough stigma without folk going on about 'lesbian styles' now Hmm

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ReallyBadParty · 06/05/2015 11:24

Op didn't say anything about a lesbian wedding style; just asked for ideas for a lesbian wedding. Obviously, that's different as you need to sort two dresses that go together, instead of just to go with a suit/kilt.

Are you happy to go shopping together, or do you want the outfits to be a surprise? Also what sort of budget, and bit more detail of your plans?

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notthestereotype · 06/05/2015 11:27

Grays, wtf are you on about?! I never said it was a lesbian 'style' wedding. It's about style generally. Thanks for the genius and unnecessarily sarcastic idea of trying dresses on and picking ones that we like. What is your problem?!

Herren, what a lovely picture Smile

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Myfanwyprice · 06/05/2015 11:29

When my sister and her wife got married they wore dresses by the same designer so they had a similar feel but were different styles.

The shop they went to were brilliant, they went separately but saw the same adviser, so she knew what the other had chosen and helped to choose a dress that would compliment that!

Both were concerned that it would look odd that they both wore full on wedding dresses, but they looked beautiful together Smile

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PeachandBlack · 06/05/2015 11:32

A friend of mine wore a tailored, buttoned up jacket over a dress with a very full skirt, like a Victorian riding habit. She also wore a hat with a small veil. I thought that was rather sexy, even though there was no flesh showing. Her wife wore a traditional beaded bridal dress and they really complemented each other.

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GraysAnalogy · 06/05/2015 11:33

You're talking about 'lesbian weddings' so of course you're implying they have a style Hmm

Actually the suggestion wasn't sarcastic. Your fiance has obviously shocked you because she's not buying into the one woman has to dress like a man assumption so it might be nice for you to both go out and find something you both like but that reflect your different tastes.

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sebsmummy1 · 06/05/2015 11:37

Grays I have no idea what you're on about either. OP wants some ideas, not a lecture on irony.

It makes sense to me that originally you thought one of you might opt for a more low-key style and the other a bit more meringue. Now you realise your fiancée wants to go uber feminine and you are floundering a bit, totally understand.

I guess first of all where are you getting married? Is it the type of venue where full length, full skirted dresses would work? If so then I would go get a load of wedding magazines and you and your fiancée go through and pick the type of dresses you would like to wear. Once you get an idea if styles then you could work out how to tie them together.

It might be that you find a co-ordinating colour that can appear on both of you. For example a sash belt on one dress in a colour that matches the head piece of the other outfit. Or perhaps you both wear different dresses but the same tiara and veil, or the same corsage/flowers.

If you kept it pretty low key and classy I think it could be gorgeous and fun to put it together.

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notthestereotype · 06/05/2015 11:44

Gray, no. How have you come to that conclusion? If I said I'd been to a straight wedding, would I simply be saying that I'd gone to a wedding where there had been a bride and groom? Or would I be saying that I'd been to a straight 'style' wedding? Hmm It was mentioned in the title because there will be two dresses, so it can be harder to style sometimes. That's it! And how on earth am I "going on about lesbian styles"?! You clearly do have issues with this don't you.

My, that's a really good idea! Thanks for sharing.

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ReallyBadParty · 06/05/2015 12:25

You could also look for a local dressmaker, who could make you each what you wanted and make sure they go together.

Ask around for recommendations, a couple of my friends have had dresses made and they were beautiful and fitted/suited them perfectly.

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ReallyBadParty · 06/05/2015 12:25

Oh, and try some on first: what I thought I wanted and what I ended up with were completely different!

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MonoNoAware · 06/05/2015 12:36


My friend was similarly surprised when her fiancee said she planned on wearing a 'proper' wedding dress, she'd never seen her in any dress before! They are still planning theirs, but have found that as long as both dresses are in exactly the same colour most styles work. Probably helps that DF has been planning her wedding since she was about 6...

IMO they look even better if they each have one obviously 'different' feature (e.g. different straps/arms, lace/fabrics, shape or fullness of dress, etc). Whatever you both pick, I'm sure you'll both look and feel great.

Have fun and congratulations Flowers
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Pony74 · 06/05/2015 13:02

Congratulations on your wedding. I'm sure you'll both look gorgeous.

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 06/05/2015 13:14

To restart the thread a little....

You are after two complementary dresses, yes?

Where is the venue and what is the budget?

(And congratulations!)

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Instituteofstudies · 06/05/2015 13:31

I was one of the posters on your first thread who suggested starting a thread on S&B. Starting to feel a bit bad about after the unnecessary comments earlier :(

If you don't want to see each other's choices before your wedding day, I like the idea of going to the same shop but separately, so that they will know each of your favourites and help make sure both dresses compliment one another.

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 06/05/2015 13:47

How about something like this for you (the reviews say that there is a slit in the side, so I think it ticks your lace / elegant / sexy boxes)

Then there are lots of other dresses on the J Crew website that would coordinate beautifully - though I love love love the jumpsuit in the same lace

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Hadron21 · 06/05/2015 13:48

How about agreeing on a style, like 1920s and then buying separate dresses. You could always go for vintage then.
Complimentary hair accessories would be good but I would avoid matchy matchy as the danger is you'd end up looking like two bridesmaids.
Congratulations. Ignore the negative comments. I'm just wishing I had lesbian friends who were getting hitched as I love wedding planning and dress shopping.

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ChangingTiming · 06/05/2015 13:51

Depends on if you want to know what each other is wearing/pick them out together or pick them out so its a surprise.
Defintiely wear what you both want to wear, have seen friends family wedding pictures and they are both in full skirted traditional dresses yet different to suit figures and looks great

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Sootgremlin · 06/05/2015 14:10

Honestly I think if you go for the same colouring you can't go wrong with different styles. Formal wear is formal wear, so as long as you are both similarly 'dressed up' it will go.

What time of year are you getting married? I think formal coats are lovely in an autumn/winter wedding, you could have very similar dresses with different fitted jacket/shawl in complementary colours to tie in.

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notthestereotype · 06/05/2015 16:30

I'm very busy atm, but just wanted to quickly say thanks for all your suggestions. Will reply properly later.

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BadgersArse · 06/05/2015 16:46

i dont get the matching thing

Weird imo

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