Another 'is this ok / smart enough for a wedding' thread

(66 Posts)
SmileAndNod Sat 05-Apr-14 13:37:04

Just that really. Summer church wedding for D/B. Acting as witness and so have to walk past lots of people. Feel rather depressed [PND) and down about myself and the way I look so I want to feel lovely. Just for a day.

I'm winter colouring, the dress looks to be electric blue. In early 40's. 5'7, Size 10-12 probably more of a 12, wide shoulders and hips but go in at the waist. Have a 9 month old so stone heavier than I used to be and a horrible tummy. Bit worried that I may not be able to BF in it, but Dd will be a bit older by then anyway.

So, do you think it's suitable? Appropriate? Finding it really hard to get something that fits the bill. Probably won't wear a hat / fascinator. Am very indecisive and the whole thought of it is stressing me but I can't just not go sad

Financeprincess Sat 05-Apr-14 13:42:36

I think it's lovely. It's chic and occasion-appropriate.

If you are size 10 - 12 and 5'7", I don't think you need to be worrying about your tummy!

Have a lovely time.

Oh that's lovely. You'll look curvy and gorgeous!

Everybody's body changes after having dcs. It's because it's done an amazing thing. My youngest lost a milk tooth last night and I was looking at it - that started off INSIDE me. I made that grin It's a pretty cool thing but also of course a big adjustment.

SmileAndNod Sat 05-Apr-14 14:13:03

Yes, dd is my third, and my body has definitely changed northernlurker. Overall I weigh less, but I just don't look or feel the same. I know my body has been through it. I remind my six year old most days that I know him better than anyone else as I grew him. All by myself.

Is the dress age appropriate? I don't want to look mother of the bride, or like I'm trying to dress too young. It looks as though there will be a bit of arm coverage but what could I wear if it was cold. I'm really not good at putting things together!

Lambzig Sat 05-Apr-14 14:39:16

I think it's lovely.

Have you tried it on? Do you feel good in it? That's the important thing really so do try it on as soon as possible.

What do you want to wear with it?

If that one doesn't work then I am sure Mumsnet can find you something.

SmileAndNod Sat 05-Apr-14 14:52:17

I don't feel good or look good in anything. At all. That's the problem. I just feel very flat and as though I've lost something about myself (I realise that's probably part of PND). I know I'm going to have to put on a happy face somehow.

I ordered the other day from HoF, so due any day and I will need to try it on. How do you get that 'I look fantastic' feeling when the person looking back in the mirror looks grey old fat and knackered grin

Pollywallywinkles Sat 05-Apr-14 16:33:34

Even if you don't feel good, you will look a million dollars in that dress.

Lambzig Sat 05-Apr-14 17:35:21

So sorry to hear about your PND. I think it's hard sometimes to feel you look good when your head just isn't there.

I had a complete clothes panic before going for my birthday lunch last week, trying on my whole wardrobe, declaring it all hideous and fat making and feeling I couldn't go. In the end I just wore the first thing I tried on and went out feeling dreadful. Half an hour later I forgot I looked hideous, but it is a horrible feeling.

It's probably me being shallow, but sometimes if I can get the outfit right I feel the more confident about whatever I have to do that day. And if the outfit is lovely, but I look grotty, then it doesn't matter so much.

I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. You had a baby a few months ago and it takes a while to get back to normal.

I know your body is different now, but what sort of style did you used to feel good in? Is that dress something you would choose. I think it's very age appropriate as long as you get the accessories right.

I think the minimum benchmark is if you try on something you already own and feel ok in and then try the dress and you feel it's more flattering. Do you have someone in RL who you can try it on around who will give you an opinion.

Do you have time and the will to take care of yourself a little at the moment? Not suggesting the ubiquitous spa day, but the usual eating right, bit of exercise, bit of grooming. For me recently a proper skin care regime has made a world of difference to looking grey in a really short time.

I hope I am not being too trite here as I don't really understand what you are going through with PND, but I do know quite recently what it feels like to feel post baby like I have lost my looks and my spark and am working on getting it back.

Chewbecca Sat 05-Apr-14 17:47:24

I have that dress. I am the same age as you but quite a bit chunkier. This dress is the most flattering I have ever bought I think! It does cover the arms a little, covered the worst bits up. And disguises wobbly tummies really well. Do you have some spanx you could wear too?
Try it on when you get it and post a pic if you are unsure. From the description you give, you will look fabulous.
I think a fascinator or perhaps a fab clip or something might look nice and just tip it from a great dress into perfect wedding outfit. Plus a clutch and some good heels.
I do hope you feel good in it.

StephenKatz Sat 05-Apr-14 17:50:20

It's a beautiful dress, very feminine and appropriate for a wedding. I'm sure you'll look lovely in it, even if you don't feel it.

Lamb Has written it better than I could but I hope you're able to take some time for yourself. I had PND with DD1 and know what a horrible thing it is. I hope you're getting decent support and good luck on the road to recovery.

LocalEditorCardiff Sat 05-Apr-14 18:28:58

Lovely dress, v wedding appropriate. Go and have a proper blow dry on the morning of the wedding, if you can, and have someone show you how to do your make-up the way you want it to look.

Sorry about your PND. It's grim. What treatment are go getting for it?

BillyBanter Sat 05-Apr-14 18:36:28

I think it is a lovely dress, and that it sounds like it will suit your figure.

I hope you are in a better place come the wedding and appreciate how lovely you will look in it. smile But even if you don't feel it I'm sure others will appreciate how lovely it is.

Blow dry is an excellent idea.

SmileAndNod Sat 05-Apr-14 19:50:25

Thanks for the replies. I am hoping that the dress looks as nice in real life as the reviews suggest. Had not thought about accessories much. I do have some cobolt wedge shoes which may go? I tend to like quite dull things clothes wise. Nothing too frilly or flouncy. My hair is quite short - choppy bob so again not sure how to style that.

As for the PND, I had sort of hoped that it would go away by itself. But dd is now 9mo and whilst I think I'm having better days it still catches up with me, especially if I'm tired. Which I am. I don't have much time to look after myself (who does with children) but I did recently have a hair cut and eyebrow thread. I eat more cake and drink more caffeine than is good for me, just to keep myself standing. I do try to have three meals and two snacks a day, though it doesn't always work out that way. I do need to get a grip of myself, it's just hard. Sorry to hear others are going through / have been through the same thing. It's rubbish.

SmileAndNod Sun 06-Apr-14 09:50:00

The dress has arrived smile. Sadly doesn't look quite the same on me sad. It's a lovely cobalt colour blue, I like the colour.

For the first time, I'm going to attempt to post a pic of me in it (hopefully from shoulders down). Will be back...

Teabellie Sun 06-Apr-14 10:10:45

I bet it looks fab smile

Can't see any pics as on my phone but sounds lovely <scours HOF for pic>

Twinklestein Sun 06-Apr-14 10:35:06

Some shape wear would probably help.

SmileAndNod Sun 06-Apr-14 10:48:50

Has this worked now?

Teabellie Sun 06-Apr-14 10:51:44

Smile, are you serious?! It looks gorgeous!

SmileAndNod Sun 06-Apr-14 10:53:00

I know I'm big but would rather an honest opinion. DH just said its fine confused. Also have a side version but that's too awful to share blush

lurkingaround Sun 06-Apr-14 10:53:08

Just clicked into this thread.
Jeez you look fantastic! 3 kids you say?? You look amazing.

truelymadlysleepy Sun 06-Apr-14 10:53:34

Blimey, you look stunning.

whereisshe Sun 06-Apr-14 10:54:26

I think it's a lovely dress. If you wanted an alternative if that one doesn't work out, this is very forgiving on a post-baby body and breastfeeding friendly.

whereisshe Sun 06-Apr-14 10:55:11

Ooh cross post with your pic. You look amazing in that dress! Keep it!

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