What does one wear to a swingers club?

[SnowNotSoWhite]

Apart from not a lot
Have no intention of getting totally bare assed in public so any ideas on nice lingerie and clothes that would, be, ahem, accommodating?

[fortyplus]

A friend of mine is into this - he's a little short fat red-faced bloke with a very small willy They're not all George Clooney you know. He doesn't care what they wear - he just wants to have sex with women who've already had several blokes cum inside them... delightful

[TheLostPelvicFloorOfPoosh]

A tracksuit fashioned from pampas grass?

[mrscumberbatch]

Rofl @ fortyplus

[Destinysdaughter]

Well, if this is serious, I have been to a few in my time and a short sexy dress or nice lingerie/ fetish wear is appropriate.
Something that comes off quite easily ( and you don't mind getting a bit of spunk on...) :)

[roadwalker]

leather shorts?

[Destinysdaughter]

Here's a pic....

[Only1scoop]

The lost

[SofaCanary]

Your dignity and a smile.

[peasandlove]

dont forget your mumsnet scarf

[Bunbaker]

Perfume

[KristinaM]

Hi snownotsowhite and welcome to mumsnet

I suggest you wear a warm waterproof bum covering coat, that's the holy grail of mumsnet outfits

[Leviticus]

Something with a pocket for Dettol wipes. Ewwww!

Shit. That sounded judgemental.

[Fallenangle]

faux fur coat and no knickers

[TheCrackFox]

Gimp mask.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

I work next to a swingers club. It's very convenient - midway between the office and the train station.

From the customers I've seen:

• a tight perm
• glasses on a chain
• a low cut lurex top with creped over suntanned chest
• pleather easy wipe white skirt
• fishnets (I assume stockings, but they are parking up outside so I don't get a full view)
• a strappy gold sandal with stout heels.

HTH

Can you post back and tell us how good the buffet was? My colleague and I were amazed at the level of review that went into a Swingers club buffet when we were reading "Swingers Monthly" at a petrol station, last year.

One buffet seemed so delicious that one poor man was left with his arse catching breeze hanging out of a solitary glory hole, with no one paying it any attention because they were swarming over the cheese cubes. At least that's what we think it said. It was in German.

[Cocolepew]

Something wipe cleanable. or the zip up suits CSIs wear

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

Actually I went on their website and checked the do's n don'ts page for you op:

New-arrivals often ask themselves: How do we dress?

Gentlemen may combine discreet briefs with a body and ladies may wear a corsage or a combination of panties, bra and suspenders. Discreet vinyl and leather apparel are also much appreciated. The main point is not to walk about stark naked but, instead, in apparel which befits the club-atmosphere and makes us feel at ease. Less welcome are unerotic makeshift solutions such as a profane bath-towel around the hips or casual street-wear. In case you do not have a suitable outfit, no problem: The crystal cave offers you the fitting accessories in the small club-boutique. As a general rule: "Anything is possible, nothing is binding"

So if I'm reading it correctly you can jam an old record up the crack of your arsecheeks but don't sashay in in a Primark beach towel, or shell suit.

I never knew that bath towels were being discriminated against so harshly.

[Destinysdaughter]

At Chameleons swingers club in Birmingham the women can wear whatever they want but the men have to wear just a towel!
( it's up to them what they wear underneath it but most don't tend to wear anything...)

[Destinysdaughter]

But... They are very strict about you not chewing gum, you can get kicked out for that!

[KatoPotato]

I think it has to look really flammable...

[Suzannewithaplan]

They're not all George Clooney you know

I seriously doubt that any of them would be George Clooney...isn't it all out of shape over 50's?

[KissesBreakingWave]

It's not all out of shape over 50s, or even a majority. (There are always a few, bless 'em. They're no trouble. It's the fit single guys you've to watch for, always tediously monosexual but nice to look at when DP's getting the spitroasting she loves.) Dress code depends on the club, check their website first (fetish places are a LOT more strict). If you want to go in the nip, go in the nip. Or, rather, whatever you want by way of street attire and change/undress when you get there. A sarong tied halter-neck fashion's never a bad move in my view. And whatever you're not into, don't do.

As for the buffet, don't hold out any hopes.

I did hear of one place that does a regular Pie Night, though. And another that serves cheese toasties that are well thought of.

[AndTwoBits]

Dont wear expensive shoes. They can get mixed up with others and easily pinched. Apparently.

[MissBeehiving]

The hot cheese in the toasties and bare flesh sounds like a health and safety hazard.

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Corsage? Pie? I have lived a sheltered life.