I'm scared of people seeing the new me

(64 Posts)
NordicHousewife Sun 05-Jan-14 22:42:43

Have you reinvented your fashion style and how did people react? After my DC I gained weight and became a little frumpy looking. I have had a big shopping spree over the sales and have bought quite a lot, enough to ditch my frumpy clothes and reinvent my style a bit.
I will be doing the school run for the first time tomorrow and I'm a little terrified of the other mums seeing me in totally new outfits, scared they will think I am making a fool of myself.

Rubybrazilianwax Mon 06-Jan-14 21:50:34

You walk into that playground, swish your hair and say 'its because I'm worth it'. Well maybe not quite but seriously don't give anyone negative a second thought. I love to see someone in something nice and always compliment people. Its also a good conversation starter.

JimmyCorkhill Mon 06-Jan-14 19:48:12

I'm always delighted when my friends emerge like little butterflies from baby-induced frumpery!

I love this image grin

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge Mon 06-Jan-14 19:08:05

Rather than reinventing myself I'm scared of being myself and wearing what I did before life getting shit got to me!

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 18:46:21

TBH none of them are friends, just school run acquaintances. They don't really know me at all, think my very few friends won't bat an eyelid!

OBehaveMaeve Mon 06-Jan-14 18:41:42

I don't know how some people pick their friends! I'm always delighted when my friends emerge like little butterflies from baby-induced frumpery! I love it.

OBehaveMaeve Mon 06-Jan-14 18:40:48

introduce the items one at a time!

But honestly, good for you. I'd just say "it was about time I got some new outfits!"

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 18:33:28

And Lila, thanks!

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 18:32:51

Rock You're right, people do need to deal with their own insecurities rather than project them on to me, I have enough of my own already grin

Curious You've hit the nail on the head there, I felt very conspicuous indeed.

Rookie I do a double pick up and drop off at two places so there is always hanging about to be done at the second one, waiting for the gates to open. Whilst we are all hanging around waiting usually there is nothing more than chit chat and that is when there are comments about a new coat or shoes, I think mostly people are just passing the time.

Jimmy grin I bet you looked fab, good on you!

JimmyCorkhill Mon 06-Jan-14 18:13:37

I wore make up to do the pre school run today because of you Nordic and I even reapplied my lipgloss before collecting DD at 3pm grin

tuggle Mon 06-Jan-14 16:32:24

As someone who cares too much about what others think of me, I say do what makes you feel good.

I do not have wardrobes and wardrobes of clothes or dress in up to the minute fashion. However, I make an effort even for the school run. It makes me feel confident when my hair and make up look good.

I am sure you will receive compliments. Do not worry about the mother(s) who choose to say nothing there is always one.

Curioustiger Mon 06-Jan-14 16:26:08

I went back to work a stone lighter and with an entirely new wardrobe. I am hugely confident ... Sometimes over confident!... And even I felt conspicuous. You just have to style it out at first. Then it very quickly becomes the norm. Then you won't be able to believe the way you used to dress (eg in my case all in black! Every day!)

rookiemater Mon 06-Jan-14 16:21:04

Goodness I'm bemused by all these people that make comments on what one is wearing on the school run. Usually I'm in my cycling gear, having pelted it from work to make it there in time.

I may have gone so far as "You look nice" or "That jacket looks cosy" and I get the odd comment when I wear my pink coat "Good to see a bright colour in winter" but that's about it - I'd fall over in shock if someone mentioned if I was wearing lipstick or not.

See to me the key thing is that most people don't notice or care what you wear. I'll make a positive remark if I see something I like and do occasionally ask where people got things, but anyone remarking negatively about your clothes and appearances are the ones with the issue - not you.

Anyway glad the school run went well.

lilaloves Mon 06-Jan-14 16:12:19

Nordic, I Don't know about looking lovely but you certainly sound lovely

RockMummy Mon 06-Jan-14 16:08:57

Well done Nordic. Glad you stuck with it and didn't bottle out. You deserve to look fantastic and people need to deal with their own insecurities rather than project them on to you!

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 15:40:30

Just done the school pick up and had one 'you look different' which was said with a sort of bemused face, and one genuine sounding 'you look lovely, did you get some clothes over Xmas?'

So that's it done, they've seen me now, they world didn't end grin

StyleOverSubstance Mon 06-Jan-14 14:52:23

Think it depends on who you are with - for people I have met since having children, eg playgroup mum friends, school playground friends it would feel more difficult because they didn't know the old me, so I would definitely feel more self conscious around them as for them it would be more of an obvious change from how they are used to seeing me.

For other people, family or long-standing friends from pre children, less of a problem as they would just see me going back to how I was before I had a family and had more time/money to spend on myself.

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 11:46:55

I'm meant to be doing some work today, but actually spent all morning finding some fashion blogs to give me some inspiration. Quite hard to find!

SecretLimonadeDrinker Mon 06-Jan-14 11:41:19

Well done lovely, I'm glad it went well, ignore any negative comments, says more about them then it does about you.

I'm currently work in progress but do feel the urge to hide away from comments/looks bil gf is a master at this and she is v insecure about her appearance, still upsets me far more then it should.

Great idea to get rid of anything that doesnt make you feel good, you sound fab and glad your new image reflects this.

Lambzig Mon 06-Jan-14 11:25:28

Please remember if anyone makes nasty comments it's because they are jealous or feel insecure themselves.

Someone I worked with who had always been a bit of a slightly mumsy dresser, suddenly came into work with a whole new, much younger look. I told her she looked amazing (she did), but must confess to feeling a bit envious. It did kick start me to lose some weight and get some new clothes myself, so maybe you will inspire someone else's makeover.

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 11:09:32

Jimmy Your post really connected with me. Facing the people who have only ever known the frumpy version of me is the hardest, you're right.

And this bit you described is exactly how I feel, like I'd be failing.
"If I look like a scruff they know I have made no effort but if I dress better and they don't like it, then I have made an effort and got it wrong"

Snowdown Mon 06-Jan-14 11:06:51

I think wearing a bit of make up is a great way to start the exit of the frump. Not too big of an investment...it spurs you on....and leads you gently into the change from moth to butterfly.

JimmyCorkhill Mon 06-Jan-14 11:02:20

I'm so glad it went well for you smile

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have become very frumpy since being pregnant with and having DD2. People have only seen me do the pre school runs with DD1 pregnant or in the newborn stage, make up free, rubbish clothes and hair scraped back. I'm now at the stage where I can make much more of an effort with my look but I'm really self conscious because they've only ever known the frumpy version of me.

I am really cross with myself because I'm a SAHM and can wear whatever I want, have my hair however I want, get multiple piercings if I want I don't! as there is no dress code...but I remain the same old boring me.

I think it's perfectionism. If I look like a scruff they know I have made no effort but if I dress better and they don't like it, then I have made an effort and got it wrong blush It's so silly.

There is a mum at preschool who started wearing red lipstick before Christmas and, yes, I did notice. But I thought good on her. She looks great. I must start making more of an effort myself.

Thank you OP, you have given me some confidence. It's also reassuring to know that I am not the only person to feel this way.

cloudskitchen Mon 06-Jan-14 10:40:20

Sorry I should have read the end of the post first blush as for your family, if they have a habit of talking to you this way hmm then don't take it seriously. If you are happy with your new look that's really all that matters.

cloudskitchen Mon 06-Jan-14 10:37:33

Nordic I haven't read through all the comments but quite frankly who cares what the others at the school gate think. The positive comments will come from the people who are genuinely pleased for you. The negative from the green eyed monsters that would so like to reinvent themselves but don't know where to start. Go in with head held high like its any other day and rock your new look grin

NordicHousewife Mon 06-Jan-14 10:30:39

The next scary thing will be letting my family see me in my new style. They are the say it as they see it type and usually hold nothing back.

My family can be a bit mean in the name of being funny, they think it is gentle ribbing but really I'm always the butt of the joke, it stopped being funny a long time ago.

Christ, I need to shut up moaning, this is S&B not relationships!

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