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Style & Beauty

I'm scared of people seeing the new me

63 replies

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 22:42

Have you reinvented your fashion style and how did people react? After my DC I gained weight and became a little frumpy looking. I have had a big shopping spree over the sales and have bought quite a lot, enough to ditch my frumpy clothes and reinvent my style a bit.
I will be doing the school run for the first time tomorrow and I'm a little terrified of the other mums seeing me in totally new outfits, scared they will think I am making a fool of myself.

OP posts:

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imip · 05/01/2014 22:53

I've done something a little similar. After five kids in seven years, I started wearing make-up. I get sooo many comments. Some have been embarrassing (look at you, kind of thing, when wearing higher heel black boots). I think before kids I used to be kind of glamorous, always wore make up, hair nicely done, fashionable clothes; however, five pregnancies, HG through all of them, and crappy sleepers have definitely taken its toll.

The one thing though is that I have put on four or so kilos after dd5 and this time I haven't lost it. It is also mainly on my stomach. I really need to focus on losing this.

What I am trying it do is to make sure I have make up on every day, so that the 'new' me becomes everyday and everyone is used to it. Rather than every now and then and I stand out more.

Good luck. I'm hoping to lose a bit of weight before summer and then go the same as you and get some more clothes....

burnishedsilver · 05/01/2014 22:57

Honestly, I think most people will be supportive and tell you look fabulous. Well done. It sounds like you've had a bit of fun in the sales.

OneLittleLady · 05/01/2014 22:58

I haven't so much reinvented myself as actually started taking care of myself. I have a number of medical conditions, including one which can make it difficult for me to even do the basics like dress myself without help. However, I vowed a couple of months ago that I had to just keep fighting it and actually start making the effort to dress/wear make up/brush my hair because doing nothing to take care of myself was killing my already very low self esteem. I've had plenty of comments, both negative and positive and I just don't let it bother me. Be proud of yourself and shine. You have every right to feel good about yourself so just do it!

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:01

Thanks, I started with make up and got lots of nice compliments and now I get some comments on my weightloss, mostly good

Feel really nervous of turning up looking totally different, I think they will think I am trying to make too much of myself. My DH likes my new look, it is a bit more egdy and funky and I don't know what people will think. I worry they will laugh at me, either in their heads or behind my back. I think it would crush me tbh.

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burnishedsilver · 05/01/2014 23:01

Onelittlelady, anyone nasty enough to make a negative comment about someone taking better care of themselves isn't worth listening to.

SinisterSal · 05/01/2014 23:02

Oh I know how you feel, I get like this too. Silly really! Generally try to gradually ease new things in, rather than all at once.
Bright and breezy is teh way for you tomorrow 'Oh, thanks just picked up a few bits in the sales,' ...and deflect ...' Have you been?'

Though only horrible people would think you were making a fool of yourself (unless you are wearing a cocktail dress on the schoolrun, of course)

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:04

No cocktail dresses, I promise and no skin on show either, nothing risque. Much more figure fitted though than I usually wear, I'm not going to hide behind baggy things anymore.

What kind of negative comment have you had One?

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Lilacroses · 05/01/2014 23:05

Well done OP and OneLittleLady, you both sound brilliant. Absolutely go for it! I bet you both look great. I was ill for 2 years and totally understand what you mean OneLittleLady. After a year I was so low with all the things I couldn't do I thought about something I could do to make myself look better which in turn made me feel nice. I It really helped and people were complimentary and then quickly got used to it.

OneLittleLady · 05/01/2014 23:05

Burnished you are right. I just let it go, I don't have the time or the energy to get into it with people.

Nordic making 'too much of yourself' is a ridiculous idea. Why should you not want to look great and fabulous every day? ignore anyone who makes any kind of negative comment about you, you don't need their approval. If you like it, that's what matters and as an added bonus, your DH likes it so you must be doing something right

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:10

My DH even said I looked 'hot' when I tried it all on after going shopping Bless his heart, I could have cried.

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Catsofa · 05/01/2014 23:13

If someone started wearing cocktail dresses on the school run I would think they were absolutely completely bloody awesome. Am I weird?

I can't get my hair cut, literally, from one year to the next because I can't handle the day that everyone sees it and comments about how nice it is.

If I knew you and noticed you change your look, regardless of if the new look happened to be to my taste or not (which who cares? If you're confident in it then it obviously does it for you, so well done you!) I would want to sidle up to you and ask you to talk me into a drastic new hair cut.

OneLittleLady · 05/01/2014 23:14

Sorry missed you post asking what kind of comments I've had nordic

Comments have ranged from 'don't you think you're too...ahem, rounded for skinny jeans?' to things like 'don't you think you ought to be dressing your age now you're 30?' these are comments from supposed friends as well. I just smile and change the subject, I see no reason that i should justify what I choose to wear and am comfortable in.

Nordic your DH obviously likes your new clothes to say you looked hot!

buttercrumble · 05/01/2014 23:17

Go for it ,well done

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:17

One, I can't believe that someone said that to you.

My worst fear is someone saying something along the lines of 'don't you think you ought to be dressing your age now you're XX?' I can't think what I would say if someone said that to me, I'd cry I think

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SinisterSal · 05/01/2014 23:19

God I can't imagine someone saying that, the cheek of it.

Well they're just opinions. No more likely to be correct than your own opposing opinions. Who made them the oracle?

OneLittleLady · 05/01/2014 23:22

I honestly think there's really no age limit on clothing, as long as it fits you properly and suits your body shape I think anything goes. I don't understand people who think that once you reach a certain age that certain clothes are off limits.

Nordic don't worry about what other people think, like I said, you don't need anyone else's approval. All that matters is that you like, are comfortable in and enjoy the things you wear. Anyone who laughs or thinks that their negative comments are needed, needs to get their heads out of their arses and grow up!

funnyvalentine · 05/01/2014 23:22

Practise a breezy "Thanks, thought it was time to smarten up again now the kids are at school" with a big smile :) the biggest key to pulling off a new look is to feel (or at least look) confident about it yourself.

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:24

I lost all my confidence in the years I've been at home with the DC, I lost all sense of my own value and worth.

By taking the time to look after myself its like I'm trying to show that I'm worth something again, but I'm worried that I'm not really worth anything at all and that people will see right through my new image and think I'm making a laughing stock of myself.

I haven't bought anything fashion victim or anything, mostly some bits from Dorothy Perkins and H&M so it is hardly out-there fashion wise.

I need to pull myself together!

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tanukiton · 05/01/2014 23:25

Isn't kate moss near 40? Shit ! I was still single and childless at 30, short skirts and hot! Now I am fatter and 40. BUT I am in the process of change! Good bye frump hello fabulous. You rock it and enjoy. Some people don't like change they like the comfort of things being the same. So only hear the good and ignore the bad.

OneLittleLady · 05/01/2014 23:29

Nordic it can be hard when your self confidence has taken a battering, for whatever reason. However, you ARE worth something and you ARE valued. You are just as special, important and worthy of care as the next person and don't you forget it!

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:30

Thanks One

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burnishedsilver · 05/01/2014 23:30

If so called friends make nasty comments, new friends, as well as new clothes, should be part of the make over. That's no way to treat people you care for.

Onelittlelady, I'm shocked.

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OneLittleLady · 05/01/2014 23:32

Burnished I was shocked to be honest. I have carefully distanced myself from those people now and feel much better for it. I think whatever I'd done, they'd have been negative about it and it's taken me a long time to see that but now I have and have taken steps to remove myself from their negativity, I feel much better

funnyvalentine · 05/01/2014 23:34

Everyone is worth something! And anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth worrying over.

There's a great TED talk about confidence - google 'TED fake it till you make it' and you should find it.

NordicHousewife · 05/01/2014 23:36

I'm going to go upstairs and plan my outfit for morning, make sure it is something that I can feel good in. I need to find some confidence, wonder where the hell it went? I did had some once.

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