Can I have some ideas on de-frumping myself please?

(74 Posts)
Graze8 Sun 20-Oct-13 22:31:20

I'm 5"2' and around a size 10/12. I'm 44 years old. In the winter I tend to want to hibernate and end up wearing things which are warm and comfortable but apparently this equates to frumpy. Some ideas on what to wear with a little bit of glamour but not over kill for the school run would be very appreciated. I tend to live in skinny jeans and thermal tops with big coats. Please help.

mignonnette Sun 20-Oct-13 22:34:30

Graze8

I'm off to bed soon but I'll come back tomorrow for a clothes chat. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you as I often post on the MNVogue thread. You'd be most welcome over there as all the posters on it are lovely. We never put people down and would love to help you.

See you tomorrow smile.

GeorginaWorsley Sun 20-Oct-13 22:38:18

I think scarves in your 'colours' make big difference in winter dressing,also I always wear make up and jewellery,so perhaps couple of bracelets?
I like the leather cuff ones ATM.
Maybe try a different shaped top,slouchy shapes very 'in' at moment,these could be layered over one of your thermals if cold?

Graze8 Sun 20-Oct-13 22:38:26

Thank you Mignonette.

SirChenjin Sun 20-Oct-13 22:38:47

I can't help I'm afraid, but since I'm also 5 fot 2, size 10/12, 44, and also regularly seen in skinnies, warm tops and big coats (spooky!!) I'm shamelessly marking my place. Hopefully there will be someone in MN land who can help you (and by association, me!) smile

NotScared Sun 20-Oct-13 22:39:42

Agree accessories make a difference, I'm a big fan of scarves and nice hats.

Graze8 Sun 20-Oct-13 22:40:59

Thank you Georgina. Do you have any links to the slouchy tops please. I have quite a few scarves and probably should dig out some of my jewellery. I suppose part of me is scared of people thinking I am trying to dress too young.

GeorginaWorsley Sun 20-Oct-13 22:47:27

Sorry can't link on this device but Boden Marylebone jumper is a great shape,plus their Everyday top I think it's called.
Look outfir slightly batwing sleeves
Phase Eight good fur this shape too.,plus Cos.

NotScared Sun 20-Oct-13 22:58:00

Did someone call you frumpy? Just curious.

You're still young you're only a baby. I'm much older 45 wink

Graze8 Sun 20-Oct-13 23:05:54

Yeeessss! Am a little (actually quite) put out. I got called frumpy on Saturday and also have been told I look tired! sad

Graze8 Sun 20-Oct-13 23:08:20

I thought I kept myself reasonably well groomed. Get greys covered every 6 weeks or so. Get eyebrows threaded. Also wear tinted moisturiser. Obviously it's not enough!

I'm 45.. and am finally discovering clothes. Having lived in jeans and t shirts for the last..oh 40 years (my job needs casual wear as with kids) I am finally finding that I want to look a bit more 'put together'

I know not everyone loves it, but I love Whitestuff.. more because I can find stuff that goes well together without too much effort and the sizing is generous and makes me feel skinny (I was a 10 now more a 12 but got a skirt in an 8 there today!)

Nice boots and a few nice coats make me feel happy!

NotScared Mon 21-Oct-13 00:27:22

Wonder if they were jealous? Oh I hate the 'you look tired' comments. Usually said by orange folk.

bigbrick Mon 21-Oct-13 00:31:57

Shoes, boots, scarves, handbag - with these details thought through anything looks great. There's nothing wrong with warm & comfortable

Graze8 Mon 21-Oct-13 01:16:34

Not scared - funny enough the person who said it was wearing a cream jumper that showed off all her lumps and bumps. I would never dream of telling someone they looked crap. I may think things but don't vocalise them in order to make someone feel bad. Instead I would try and comment on good things. I'm not saying I'm perfect but seriously I didn't think I needed to doll myself up for a kids activity. We went to dinner this evening after the activity and a woman on her first date at an adjacent table looked me up and down and gave me a really dirty look. My DH and my DS saw it also. Am having a crap weekend on the self esteem front I think.

petalsandstars Mon 21-Oct-13 04:43:52

Have a peek at the operation renovation thread, it's a defrumping support area smile

ilovethewinter Mon 21-Oct-13 06:52:47

Graze8 I wouldn't take any notice,I was told a while ago that I looked too pale by a very orange faked tanned woman with bleached blond hair!(I was wearing my new match my skin tone perfectly foundation!) In my experience women who look you up and down like that and then give you a dirty look are just feeling threatened by you and are jealous.I bet you look great.

LeoandBoosmum Mon 21-Oct-13 07:11:11

I posted some nice knitted dresses for a mnetter earlier:
Here's what I posted in case you like any of it:

Whistles and Toast have some stunning ones! Whistles are cashmere (Elena and Sara...very flattering) and Toast's are mostly lambswool (search the knitwear option, not dresses)... They are fabulous but £££! Sometimes John Lewis does a promo and there is 20% off Whistles. John Lewis has the Elena dress (I have the bottle green...it's TDF!) but they don't have the Sara dress yet. JL never have promos on Toast and they don't carry it all anyway.
Here are the Elena and Sara:
www.whistles.co.uk/search?performSearch=true&productsPerPage=60&keywords=elena#product=903000060737
www.whistles.co.uk/search?performSearch=true&productsPerPage=60&keywords=sara#product=903000060972

Here is the Toast page:
www.toast.co.uk/category/knitwear/knitwear.htm?utm_expid=77490557-8.rC_hSe0uSdiA4l6XEXUqgw.0&utm_referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.toast.co.uk%2F

Monsoon has some decent, not badly priced, knitted dresses (click option 'knitted dresses' but here are a few I like smile

This one is pretty for Christmas parties smile:

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4331200152

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4330868351

I think this one would draw the eye right to the top and right to the bottom so your middle would not be so obvious (if you are conscious of not having much of a waist)
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4330830152

A bit dearer but so pretty..and doubles as a cardigan!
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.2/4331134251

Zara:

Lightweight:

www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/dresses/zip-back-dress-c269185p1427564.html

Nice £90 Jack Wills' grey one with cute pockets:
www.jackwills.com/en-gb/product/borrowby-dress-10000219702

River Island (£40) One in link is black but go to swatches at the bottom...the silver grey one is really pretty!
www.jackwills.com/en-gb/product/borrowby-dress-10000219702

Oh, and cashmere and merino tend to keep you cool when you get too hot and warm when you get cold... Save lambswool for the coldest of days. I posted some above that are a mix of wool and cotton (not too hot and wash okay).

Haven't read your post...well, I have read bits...
Take no notice of the woman who made the comment! She needs to look in the mirror! Also, the girl on a date...maybe your hubby was treating you nicely and she was with an arse!
Some people have to try to make others feel crap about themselves cause their own self-esteem is rock bottom!
Whatever you do, do it for you!
Maybe go and get a radical cut and colour (most decent hairdressers will spend time talking through what will suit you, what you can manage in terms of style and upkeep etc
Go to a makeup counter and ask for a makeover...if you like the results then buy one or two key pieces (blush, lipgloss, mascara)
Take a trusted friend shopping with you and have fun!
You know what, I bet you don't look half as crumby as you think! Some women are bloody witches...!
smile

LeoandBoosmum Mon 21-Oct-13 07:14:54

Don't know why the Monsoon ones didn't convert to active links:

I'll try again

Monsoon has some decent, not badly priced, knitted dresses (click option 'knitted dresses' but here are a few I like smile

This one is pretty for Christmas parties smile:

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4331200152

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4330868351

I think this one would draw the eye right to the top and right to the bottom so your middle would not be so obvious (if you are conscious of not having much of a waist)
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4330830152

A bit dearer but so pretty..and doubles as a cardigan!
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.2/4331134251

LeoandBoosmum Mon 21-Oct-13 07:15:55

Sodding hell, what's up with me!
Once more!

Monsoon has some decent, not badly priced, knitted dresses (click option 'knitted dresses' but here are a few I like smile

This one is pretty for Christmas parties smile:

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4331200152

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4330868351

I think this one would draw the eye right to the top and right to the bottom so your middle would not be so obvious (if you are conscious of not having much of a waist)
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.6/4330830152

A bit dearer but so pretty..and doubles as a cardigan!
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.2/4331134251

LeoandBoosmum Mon 21-Oct-13 07:16:24

Ah well , I definitely did it right that time! Sorry!

bishboschone Mon 21-Oct-13 07:31:00

I'm the same size ish as you and 39 . I wear skinnies and tops . With uggs or biker boots .. Who told you you were frumpy ? Was it some one you admire or your dh? Either way what else are you supposed to wear ? I'm a sahm so need easily washable and comfy clothes. I see people looking frumpy all the time and it's very rare it's someone in skinny jeans!!

PervCat Mon 21-Oct-13 07:31:57

Lol at cut and bloody colour. Anyone mentioned scarves and blazers yet?

MrsCampbellBlack Mon 21-Oct-13 07:32:39

The white company have some really lovely stuff in at the moment and there's always discount codes around.

I agree that its the details that matter, so a nice cashmere jumper with well fitting skinnies, good boots - well I wear that pretty much every day in winter. I also like scarves and nice necklaces - J crew is brilliant for jewellery, especially in their sales.

Graze8 Mon 21-Oct-13 10:41:28

Thank you thank you thank you Leoandboosmum- I will look at all your links. Thank you everyone. I think I probably encountered a few grumpy women. I'm one of the older mums at my DD primary school so I already feel a little self conscious and this weekend the comments didn't help. I am planning a major blitz on my wardrobe now! Thank you.

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