The Crepe Papers

(1000 Posts)
motherinferior Sat 05-Oct-13 18:40:14

Did it!

wilbur Mon 07-Oct-13 11:10:06

I have a Will, it's just out of date (my relationship with my sister was, if not good, then tolerable when we gifted ds1 to her, but she hasn't spoken to me for 3 years now, so I'm not sure she'd do the best for my kids sad). BTM - now mine are older, I sort of imagine them doing without us Pippi Longstocking-style grin, I'm sure dd could run the boys' lives no problem, they know how to use public transport and ds1 can cook, sort of...

I do remember reading my dad's Will when I was about 13 and seeing that I was down to be sent to my aunt in Aberdeen if anything happened. I was v fond of my aunt, but even so I remember thinking "fuck that, no way". Maybe older kids should be given an opinion in this kind of thing? Lalsy's point is a very good way of looking at it, as a starting point.

lalsy Mon 07-Oct-13 12:31:10

I agree about Pippi Longstocking, or perhaps the Children Who Lived in a Barn, as they get older, especially for siblings close in age. You wouldn't want them uprooted, necessarily, for the sake of something that looked like a family.

beachyhead Mon 07-Oct-13 12:43:20

We don't have one either, not from lack of trying. All the solicitors seem to send you endless forms to fill in whereas I would just like to go in somewhere, have a 30 minute chat along the lines of 'so where would you like Tinkerbell to live?' and 'who would you like to leave your ancient Magimix to?' Etc etc, then they could draw it all up grin

On the subject of children, assuming you ship them off to relatives, are they automatically privately adopted and how do you get them into schools? Can they jump any queue? Or do you assume relatives are going to move to your house and assume the role there? In which case, presumably, you can't sell the house! All a bit morbid for a Monday!

CointreauVersial Mon 07-Oct-13 13:02:45

Well, Crem would be the expert in that, Beachy.

bigTillyMint Mon 07-Oct-13 13:03:35

beachy, I have no idea about any of those things! I also would not want them uprooted (particularly now DD is onto her GCSE's and DS will be next year), so I think we would have to put in a proviso as lalsy suggested. Anyway, DD said she might move out when she's 16!

lalsy Mon 07-Oct-13 13:06:35

Am definitely not an expert at all but in case it is helpful: we were clueless, our solicitor just said the most important thing is all your assets go to the children and that you appoint a guardian. As for schools, where dc live etc, none of that can be foreseen - it would depend what age this horrid event happened and what the situation was at the time, typically for young children you might hope a family member would take them in, for older children you might be looking for a friend's family who they could live with in the week, perhaps to see out that bit of their education. The house would often have to be sold unless you have other assets as whoever looks after them will probably need money, unless they are much older teens. That's what I remember - he was very firm and clear and basically told us what to do - he said people with young children have very little choice

herbaceous Mon 07-Oct-13 13:47:59

OK OK CV. I shall look into it. But lord knows who should look after DS. My sis would give him a highly priviledged (how the hell do you spell that?) life, with public schools and a huge house, but a fierce alpha male influence. DP's family would be more down to earth, but perhaps not the greatest diet or encouragement to succeed.

Cripes.

bigTillyMint Mon 07-Oct-13 13:57:39

Yes, that's the problem, isn't it Herbs?!

In reality, it is very unlikely that you would both die at once. That's why we haven't yet done ours! But I am now more concerned about one of us dying and the property, etc not passing to the other.

bigTillyMint Mon 07-Oct-13 13:58:08

And how's your cutie DS settling into school?

Stropperella Mon 07-Oct-13 15:01:51

I'm sure I've banged on at length about wills before, but just to say: it's really important to get them drawn up to make sure that if one of you dies first all the estate goes where you want it to and that probate is easy to sort out. Probate is an utter bastard to sort out if there is no will and dealing with extra admin at that particular time is the last thing you need. The admin is bad enough even when there is a will.
The guardianship thing in our case is much as Lalsy has it.
I dunno why a solicitor would make you fill in loads of forms for a will unless your circs are very complicated. I've re-done mine a fair few times over the years and never had to fill in a form. It's good to think about what age you would want your dcs to inherit. My exh insisted on 18 and now I rather wish I'd pushed for 25, as dd will have to make some very grown-up decisions on her 18th.

bigTillyMint Mon 07-Oct-13 15:13:45

Good point, Stropps.

motherinferior Mon 07-Oct-13 15:15:04

Yes, ours was incredibly straightforward...

Stropperella Mon 07-Oct-13 15:26:52

I'm feeling a bit weird as my mother phoned to say she's received a letter that's been forwarded on from her old address (which she moved from 16 years ago) that's addressed to me in my original surname. Turns out it's about a school reunion for the local school I went to until I was 16. I don't remember either of the secondaries I went to with much affection and have avoided all schooly nostalgia up until now. I don't think (m)any of the people I was at school with would remember me with any affection either, as I was drearily odd and generally not much fun. I strangely feel as though I ought to go, but I don't know why. Maybe it's masochism.

addle Mon 07-Oct-13 16:49:04

when we were particularly broke a couple of years ago and my dh was cycling from land's end to john o'groats i insisted we made our wills - we found a solicitors' website with a free, very simple template to fill in - on the basis that we just wanted to leave everything to our two children adn that everything didn't amount to much or anything complicated. at least that way we got something in writing. (not updated since, obviously, but it's a first step). agree with stropps about 25 btw.

herbaceous Mon 07-Oct-13 17:01:59

Our will would be v straightforward too. Tho less so once I inherit parents' various properties, etc.

Re DS, he seems to be doing v well in his milieu! They've put him in the top set of year 1 for reading, but he still comes home with homework counting the number of letters in cat and sounding it out, which he finds bafflingly dull. But does it, as he seems genetically programmed to be a girly swot.

He's made some friends, and has been invited to a birthday party by a girl who holds his hand as they go into school. The forward hussy.

The teaching seems quite strict - it seems whistles are blown to indicate time to tidy up, or shut up, and discipline includes having to sit facing the wall, but can't decide if that's ok or not.

One also has to take any tales of what goes on with a vast pinch of salt.

bigTillyMint Mon 07-Oct-13 17:06:36

Sit facing the wall and whistlesshock Hopefully that's not quite the whole story! Great that he's made friendssmile

Stropps, I'm a bitenvy at your school reunion - I've never heard of any (other than big fancy centenary do's) for ours. Suspect it might be a bit dull though as I can barely recognise half the girls on the photos others post up on FB and we were there for 7 yearsconfused

lalsy Mon 07-Oct-13 17:07:19

Solicitors also make mirror wills for couples - so if you want to talk to a person, it is pretty cheap too. What was hammered home to us is just to get something done - if the worst happens, you do not want financial or housing uncertainty or hassle. And whoever takes the dc in may need money quickly - to move house for example.

Cremolafoam Mon 07-Oct-13 18:18:56

Guys I will write on the subject of guardianship wills etc when I'm less woozy . Had my stitches out this arvo and I'm a little flayed .confused
Also infected - boo so onto the flucloxacillan.

I know it seems like the worst will never happen , but we are the surviving embodiment that this is not always the case. sad
Oh how I craved a piece of paper could have been left for me and dd so that we could have known that it was ok that she lived with me and dh.

bigTillyMint Mon 07-Oct-13 18:26:43

Oh Cremosad - both the will situation and the infection. cakeflowerswine for the invalidsmile

I heard about mirror wills - will be doing this.

Blackduck Tue 08-Oct-13 06:24:02

Oh poor Cremo - hope you get better soon...

QQ damn you I am now converting a pair of Clark's boots....

bigTillyMint Tue 08-Oct-13 07:59:17

Have just ordered some crimson chinos and jeans for DS - hope they fit!

QueenQueenie Tue 08-Oct-13 18:04:58

Really BD, what are you converting them to? Judaism? A sporty soft top? wink

Did I mention there's 20% off?

beachyhead Tue 08-Oct-13 18:29:05

Where is the 20% off voucher?

Also, I lost my Cos virginity last night.. OMG, that shop. Heaven grin

I have a dress which I can't see on the website so I can't link to it. It is huge and comfy and I probably look like a barrage balloon in it, but I don't care.

Blackduck Tue 08-Oct-13 18:43:12

Ha ha QQ - and yes where is this 20% you speak of? Not that I need boots you understand...

Blackduck Tue 08-Oct-13 18:44:37

Coveting obviously (opticians appointment on sat can't come a day too soon....)

This thread is not accepting new messages.