When. Or in what, do you look most AWFUL?

(118 Posts)
Nehru Sun 19-May-13 12:27:15

Me. On the mirror. Spin. Hair pulled back. Tiny head. Huge body. Sweating.
It's dire.
Or in any wide leg trousers. (Think HMS pinafore )

SirChenjin Wed 22-May-13 16:33:27

I find the headphones in ears and eyes tight shut approach works wonders when I'm having my (frizzy) hair cut, esp if you do it the moment they start asking where you're going on holiday

GlitzPig Wed 22-May-13 15:35:30

yy lurking, at least in winter you can just put on a FUCKING BIG COAT and hope that your lack of makeup will come off as rosy-faced and charming.

That said, I'll enjoy the hairdressers a lot more now Olivia has given me the genius idea of eating during a haircut grin They have to stop asking about my holidays if I was half way through lunch, surely?

lurkingfromhome Wed 22-May-13 14:42:50

This thread is really making me laugh, but I could fill it with ten thousand examples of my own.

Basically, though, summer: I can't do summer. I have pasty white skin that never tans. Eventually it freckles, but not in a nice way, so I stay out of the sun or use factor 30, then always look exhumed. The sunshoine reflecting off my white body could blind passers-by. Always look a bit frazzled. Hair always a bit frizzy and a bit greasy with sunscreen product. Sandals look shit as have such white feet. Maxi dresses are appalling. Anything white gets grubby looking in ten minutes.

I see hordes of lovely women out wearing gorgeous maxi dresses, white skinny jeans and lovely tops, subtly highlighted hair cascading in the summer breeze, bronzed feet in sandals and I want to kill them all. Roll on winter when I can wear chunky jumpers, bulletproof tights and knee boots.

SirChenjin Tue 21-May-13 20:31:32

I am planning to wear something like this all summer

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 21-May-13 16:12:22

GlitzPig

Poor Olivia, hope you've found someone older more experienced now! Nothing like a visit to the hairdresser to make me feel a) £100 poorer b) ancient c) rough as grin

I know the feeling. Honestly. I am usually late so end up having to eat in front of the mirror <oink>

They should be paying me.

HappyAsEyeAm Tue 21-May-13 15:11:27

Skinny jeans
Those shirts/tops that have a 'bib front' - I am a tad over 5 foot tall, and the bib bit comes down to my waist
Pink lipstick (I look like I've played with my mum's make up)
Red nail varnish (look like I've dipped my fingers in blood)
Shorts (I just look like a square shape)
Skater dresses (make me look about 3 dress sizes bigger than I am)
Shoes with an ankle strap (make me look a foot shorter than I am)

I could go on ...

Lambzig Tue 21-May-13 15:06:01

Oh god, the hairdressers mirror when they have the tint on. Why do they have mirrors in the colourists bit?

Otherwise for me, in photos on holiday. I imagine I look lithe, lightly tanned with a quirky plait and floaty dress. The photos reveal that in fact I look a shiny red sweaty mess with frizzy greasy hair wearing a tent which does not disguise my batwing arms. Shudder. As for the bikini shots ......

GlitzPig Tue 21-May-13 14:58:00

Poor Olivia, hope you've found someone older more experienced now! Nothing like a visit to the hairdresser to make me feel a) £100 poorer b) ancient c) rough as grin

issimma Tue 21-May-13 11:42:27

My hairdresser didn't recognise Helena C in the Boden catalogue. She described her hair as 'a bit of a mess.'

I felt positively ancient.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 20-May-13 21:54:31

GlitzPig

Sitting in the chair at the hairdressers-wet hair combed completely straight, squinting like a pastymole in bright lights without my glasses, makeup washed off by overzealous shampoo girl, being patronised/insulted by an orange person who wasn't even BORN when I took my A-levels. WHO I THEN TIP.

OMG are you me?

I took a photo of Addison from Grey's anatomy to my hairdresser
She doesn't watch Grey's.
Oh, says I, well, it's a bit like Ally McBeal - except it's angsty surgeons instead of angsty lawyers.
Her: "what's Ally McBeal?"
No common cultural references. At all.

<changed hairdresser soon after>

Oblomov Mon 20-May-13 21:50:18

I can't do skinnies. I look awful in shorts. Red lipstick is a no no.

DewDr0p Mon 20-May-13 21:40:55

Oh god I forgot ankle strap shoes. Just look horrendous.

Nehru Mon 20-May-13 21:39:13

Id add "with a fringe"

a small forehead means I look like I should be sectioned

SirChenjin Mon 20-May-13 21:36:49

A swimming costume. I caught sight of my reflection in the full length window which runs along the side of our local pool and froze in horror. I vowed there and then never to present myself in public like that again.

<shudder>

JoyceDivision Mon 20-May-13 21:33:32

The pics after dc2 born.

When had dc1, while I don't ever look fab, I at leastlooked genuinely teary eyed andlaughing and havea proper 'new mum'look of delirious joy about me.

With dc2 I look like I'm from a hardcore juvenile detention centre or a bit insane. I look terrifying, like I'm coming after you while holding a baby and laughing manically.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Mon 20-May-13 21:27:00

Chunky knitwear doubles, no, trebles me in size.

FoundAChopinLizt Mon 20-May-13 20:03:18

Day before period

With hangover

Before colouring hair

No make up/last night's make up

Old specs

Old beige fleece kept for painting

Too large tartan pj bottoms

Granny slippers

No, I'm not answering the door, get daddy.grin

DewDr0p Mon 20-May-13 20:00:10

How could I forget double breasted coats/jackets?

DewDr0p Mon 20-May-13 19:59:29

Hee hee Eleanor I look weird with straight hair so I sympathise.

I also look crap in:
pastels
yellow
beige
shorts
anything high necked
chunky knitwear
the hairdressers

On holiday my hair does weird stuff too.

EleanorFarjeon Mon 20-May-13 19:32:37

With my curly hair dried straight.

I look so bad, my mum can't look at me when she speaks to me.

She said to my sister, 'Eleanor looks so ugly with straight hair'!

Eliza22 Mon 20-May-13 08:52:47

Capped sleeves.
Trousers (big arse/thighs)
A bob (hairdo)
No makeup
Shorts
Swimwear

Oh FFS, I need to lose a stone, OK? angry

I do have great hair, though smile

bulletproofgerbil Sun 19-May-13 23:47:26

In summer - when hot flushes meet hot weather and I literally go into meltdown.
In the rain - when my see-through hair gets REALLY see-through
In a wrap-dress
In a shirt-dress
In wide leg trousers
In most skirts
In anything sleeveless
In thick sweaters - big norks.
With a centre parting.
In ALL photographs
On ALL webcams
Oh God I'm stopping this list now. Tooo depressing.

mewkins Sun 19-May-13 23:17:19

A cream top or blouse. Completely washes me out.

Medievalmurdermystery Sun 19-May-13 23:08:54

Pointy flats.

Makes my size 8 feet look like two large slabs of gammon.

HellonHeels Sun 19-May-13 22:01:55

PMT - bloated face, boobs and stomach.

Pastel colours. Teal.

Gathered skirts / prom dress styles

Ballet flats (huge feet)

Shift dresses, unless with buttoned jacket over the top.

High neck or polo neck tops (big boobs)

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