ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Frugal Follow-up(594 Posts)
We've hopelessly lost the old thread. How are you doing ladies?
I need to reawaken the thread as I need to get back on the wagon. I decided to temporarily suspend my shopping ban - it's summery here and I've started wearing summer clothes and I decided to make some purchases now so that I can wear them all season long (in low 20s it's still a bit too cool for my routine sleeveless dress/bare legs summer look). Most of my old summer clothes are in great shape but this is what I needed to update them -
1. white jeans (have lots of denim shirts and blue tops) - straight-leg, non see-through
2. colorful printed cigarette pants (my wardrobe is mostly solid colors - I want to wear prints but not near my face) - found a pair in my favorite colors from MSMG <love>
3. sandals (bored of ballet flats and Havaianas) - black cage wedges, low-rent child-friendly version of the Altuzarra look
4. slingbacks (found a lovely two-tone white/taupe pair on sale)
5. a few bracelets to liven things up
I'm still looking for a couple of high-quality white or cream tops, scoop neck if possible. They seem to be the hardest item to find, but my refound Zara poly-viscose top is surprisingly versatile. Still thinking about a long and narrow snakeprint silk scarf in my best blues and also need to make a decision regarding nude/taupe courts (to go with my summer cocktail dresses).
Spring lasted for 3-4 weeks here and coincided with my 1-month shopping ban. By thinking a bit harder and digging a bit deeper I was able to find all spring outfits I ever needed without any spending! Summer will be around until the end of October so I hope that I will get quite a lot of wear out of my mix of old and new. But I think I'm almost done with wardrobe updates and might go back to tight-fist mode very soon
Hello wise shoppers
I'm only an occasional visitor/poster to MN, but have followed this thread when I can, as I'm trying to change some habits myself.
Anyway, I thought some of you might be interested in reading Bridgette Raes' blog here.
You might read it and think, 'well, duh!' as some of it is pretty straightforward (obvious?) advice, but sometimes we all need a bit of back-to-basics, stating-the-bloody-obvious advice IMHO.
She also links to this 'My year without clothes shopping' blog/service. This appears to be a commercial service, but there are some free advice sections. Disclaimer : please don't take this as a recommendation for buying services from this lady, as I have no personal experience of her - I just thought it might be interesting reading for some. I like her '36 ways to cull your closet' logic.
Hi! I saw you linked to my blog post today. Thank you Vonnegut, I appreciate it! I agree, sometimes the obvious isn't so obvious! Anyway, regarding Jill Chiver's course, I didn't take it myself but know Jill well and her commitment. It's worth exploring should you feel it resonates with you. Dr. April Benson's book (a link to her site was included in the blog link) is quite good as well and she is one of the few psychologists in the US who deals exclusively in shopping addiction. It could also ge a great start.
Thank you again for including my post in this thread and all the best to you!
Well that's spooky! I'm guessing that you can see some tracking data with your blog and that's how you knew I linked it? I hope that was okay - it didn't occur to me to ask first, but maybe I should have?
Anyway, I think all the frugal sorts are abstaining from internet activity to avoid temptation as this thread seems to have died off, unfortunately. I'm following your blog now anyway. Good luck!
frugal - thanks for mentioning Toshl, it's just what I was looking for, very simple to use. I'd previously been struggling with YNAB which I'd never quite got to grips with (and am now kicking myself for having paid for...)
When you stop and think about how you shop, it's amazing just how constantly we're bombarded with temptation, isn't it? With me it's all online. I've been pretty good at unsubscibing from almost all my fashion email alerts etc....except for one from my very favourite brand, because (and this is me justifying to myself, I know) I love their stuff, their redcutions are great, and it's easy to return to them. I have ended up making 3 orders in the last week for stuff I really don't need, and I know I'll end up keeping some of it.
So how else can I avoid "the want"? Any top tips from anyone...?
OMG, are you kidding? I was flattered! and, yes, there is some amazing tracking software that shows where traffic is coming from! Thanks for posting a link, no permission is needed!
Daimbar re how to get rid of cravings - 1) limit your exposures (unsubscribe, stop browsing) 2) find other more meaningful things to 'fill the void' 3) monitor your behavior change by journaling, updating here, keeping track of purchases, money spent etc.
I'm doing really well. My life is very full of extremely satisfying things right now. I did the VIA Strengths Survey and my key strength is 'love of learning'. So I went to the library and bookstore, got a stack of books and am studying a couple of new things and feeding and satisfying my intellectual curiosity really seems to work. Unexpectedly, the new things are also something that many of my old friends are interested in, so it's a new way to connect and share.
I'm also getting in touch with some of my core psychological issues - the need to shop was an attempt to control negative emotions that usually had their sources in interpersonal conflicts. A lot of conflicts in my life seem to revolve around control and judgment, so I'm really working on that. The 'metta tag' approach in TBONTB seems to work - I'm trying to change by repeating these mantra-like self-suggestions. For example this week I've repeated the phrase 'Listen, smile, don't judge'. For several previous weeks, I repeated (silently, to myself and others) 'I love you just the way you are'. There are still emotional ups and downs, but on the whole I've felt much more in touch with myself and others. And the urge to shop is gone - there are so many more satisfying things to do.
I think DH is sensing changes in me too. He surprised me this morning by having booked a weekend break for us. Really looking forward to it.
Oh, and I've started to eBay our clutter (a big step for me) and recycle, reuse and repurpose old items.
Again thanks for keeping this thread alive! The 'buy buy buy' messages are relentless, so places like this are really needed. So happy that so many of you have been able to share ideas and connect here!
here is another post on emotional shopping I posted yesterday which might be a nice follow up for you guys! http://www.bridgetteraes.com/2013/07/17/most-women-dont-want-a-workable-wardrobe/
Terrific post Bridgette! I really love this: "Having a workable wardrobe means being realistic, restrictive and responsible." Nobody ever says this, yet it's so true.
I saw a recent Vogue the other day, and the main things I remember is a long moan about how badly female MPs dress (in an anti-Vogue way - obviously to make a point) and how unwilling they are to discuss their wardrobes. And a story about a woman who was taught by her mother to walk in heels on a treadmill, with a stack of books on her head I think it's safe to say that I'm on a long hiatus from Vogue.
Bridgette, I really enjoyed that post too! And Frugal I really like Recovering Shopaholic's analytical, spreadsheet based approached to getting in control of her wardrobe and shopping habits - I think that doing something like that could, for me, replace the time I get sucked into browsing for clothes online...
The recent burst of fabulous weather here in the UK has been great for all sorts of reasons, but for me it has allowed me to rediscover a whole section of my wardrobe that I've not had cause to wear for years (last summer was dreadful, the summer before that I was heavily pregnant) and it's been a breath of fresh air. Most importantly, it's helped me escape from my skinny-jeans-based rut - I haven't worn jeans for 3 weeks (amazing for me!) and have enjoyed wearing dresses, different styles of trousers etc. so much that I'm sure I'll persist even when the good weather goes.
I've also been taking action to take control in other parts of my life and have an interview for a new job in a couple of weeks' time..which is great/terrifying but also creates the inevitable dilemma of.....what to wear to the interview?!! ;)
I've really enjoyed digging out "summer" clothes too. Chucked a load too - eBay and textile collections . Everything that had been stored away now fits into current wardrobe/drawers, so I can see practically everything at once, for the first time in decades!
I also sorted out my pantry - not style or beauty- but makes me feel Enormously more in control!
Hello. Is the pinterest board still active, please? I had my colours done recently and now want to sell on an Alex Monroe silver bee necklace (barely worn), and some brand new charcoal Brora wool trousers. I'm a vibrant autumn, so need chocolate
(s) and gold.
I'm not going to buy any clothes or accessories this month. In fact I'm not going to do it until I need something. This is a big sign of recovery from basically having shopping addiction since I actually believe that it will be possible now! Thanks, thread!
Doearwigsmakechutney I haven't personally been on the pinterest board in a while but would love it to be a permanent fixture so please post away
I have been reading this thread with interest as so many things many of you have said really resonate with me.
I have always liked clothes and fashion, but in recent years it got to a slightly obsessive stage. Not quite an addiction but nearly. Certainly as a form of therapy to deal with things. I am better now, but I went through a very difficult time and every weekend I would buy something expensive to make myself feel better - often stuff that didn't suit me and it was just buying formthe sake of it. I buy much less now but it still consumes too much of my time (and money I guess) - sometimes spending hours online trying to fund the perfect boots or whatever item, that will somehow transform my wadrobe and therefore my life.
CeeceeBloomingdale that would be great! I'm keen to swap/sell on the nice things I've got, which are totally the wrong colour for me, but perfect for winters/summers
Here's the pinterest board http://pinterest.com/mnswapboard/mn-swapboard/
Gah second time lucky! linky
I've discovered a great way to curb my shopping temptation - get made redundant!!! Suddenly my urge to spend has mysteriously disappeared...I shall now be focussing on constructing killer interview outfits from within my existing wardrobe...!
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Daimbar very sorry to hear your news - sending you lots of positive interview vibes.
I've found the Toshl app very useful. It creates spreadsheets and graphs and I now understand in minute detail how I am spending my money. I managed to stay on budget in July. August is going to be more challenging - the -70% rack at the local department store was too tempting <eyeroll> But things are changing for the better, my social life is really vibrant, and I've done a lot of things I really enjoy.
Based on tracking my spending patterns, I've found quite a few ways to economize without feeling deprived - for example, I'm using the local much more and am more mindful about food shopping and restaurant meals. I've probably already recommended the book 'Happy Money' but it's really worth a read.
CeeCee and Earwig I'm not able to revive the pinboard from my mobile phone but hope you can get it going!
Good luck with the spending ban Yoni!
Welcome Notcontent and
I've not spent much lately, not sure if it's because I've had no spare money because I'm having music lessons now or because I have no desire to buy.
It seems that the thread died over the summer! Just wanted to bump to see if people are still interested in the thread.
Things have gone really well for me btw, I haven't done any unnecessary shopping since my last post!
Hello!! I'm still here That's great that you've done well, YoniTime. I have too - but mainly because I've only got three weeks of work left before redundancy looms. I've also just really been making a point of not looking at websites etc.
Quite enjoying the start of autumn as it marks a changeover clotheswise too...and rediscovering different seasons in your own wardrobe helps stem the "want" to buy more (so long as I stay out of the shops of course!)
Well done Yoni, it must feel very satisfying knowing that you have taken control like that.
My sympathies to daimbardiva, we have been affected by redundancy twice in the last 4 years. Keep positive and I hope something turns up for you.
This thread has been a revelation for me and I would love to see it continue. First of all, it helped me identify my buying weaknesses (pretty, printed tops and 'settling' for items that weren't completely flattering just because I loved the colour/print/style).
I have also started using the examples set by a lot of US bloggers and introduced accountability for my purchases. I have written down every single item I've bought this year (on a notepad rather than a spreadsheet) and logged each time I wear it. So far, there have been 4 items I could have done without. Two of them are pretty printed tops and one is a pair of shoes I settled for! How ironic.
I might do a full accountability post later, so there is no room for escaping the cold, hard truth!
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